@39, Kobe-

When I was in freshman in college, I was put into a varsity dorm (everyone in the dorm was slated to becoming a varsity athlete so they put the nerd jocks together) and I had a roommate was from Great Barrington, Illinois (near Chicago) and he was QB and and the first thing he said to me when I met him was "Dude, I'm not gay but if I were gay, I would totally let Michael Jordan have his way with me." Those aren't the words he used, but you get the picture. These are things that guys say to one another.

So, in the same vein, yes, if I were gay or if I were a woman, I would likely let Hyun Bin have his way with me. Maybe I'd require a few dates, at least one nice dinner, a movie or two, some shopping in a nice mall with other friends to show him off otherwise, who would believe me (a girl's gotta be able to show off her man candy, right), etc. But eventually, yes.

With respect to Korean actresses, let's see.

1. Jeon Ji Hyeon (전지현). As I said above in 35, she is a mix of tom-boy, feminine vulnerability, ripped body and slightly different face than the normal ull-jang’s with the waif elf-like features.

2. Go Ara (고아라)... but.... that's kind of creepy since she just turned 19? But she's like a younger version of Jeon Ji Hyeon.

3. Sung Yuri (성유리). This pick is basically due to the "oppa!" *pout* *wiggle* she did in Snow Queen. I'm not immune, I've never pretended to be immune. I can't help it. It's genetic.

-Samsooki

Friday...YAY!!
so i technically have 2 more class sessions and the semester is over...aside from the semester being over I finally graduate (super senior!!) :)
but what ive been realizing is that its REALLY hard to find a job right now...what good does a degree do for me when I cant find a job in anything related to what I studied.....DAMN the school Budget Cuts

just like #5(mishane) I was thinking of teaching English overseas, i havent really looked into it but it seems like it would be fun and rewarding.
Has anyone had any experience with that...is it worth it?

@42, JB -

Wow.... that picture... he looks like a very young and slimmer and the half-asian version of Marlon Brando when Brando was just starting out.

Of course, Marlon Brando - one of the greatest actors ever vs. Daniel Henney in MNIKSS ("She has cancer! and I'm her doctor!").... not quite a contest...

-Samsooki

Okay, people, it is May and the premier of Mr. Brain (Takuya Kimura, Mizushima Hiro , and others) is a mere three weeks away and apparently GACKT (OMG--talk about HOT MEN, hot damn) will guest star in the first episode.

I.

Cannot.

Wait.

A mystery romance with a bungling detective (Kimura)?

OH..........................EM.........................GEE

--

For female actresses,
in terms of objective good looks: I could not take my eyes off of Go Ah Ra (from Who Are You?). I don't think any actress compares to her in terms of looks (well, Song Hye Kyo is a tie, I guess).

In terms of character+looks, I crushed badly on Yoon Eun Hye (but then, who didn't).

In men,
Objective good looks: Daniel Henney, hands down. (My fav shot of his: http://yeinjee.com/asianpop/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/korean-daniel-henney-01.jpg). Best part is his personality--he is so warm and so consistently nice.

For character + looks: #1 Lee Byung-hun in the movie A Bittersweet Life (Dalkomen Insaeng). i drooled. hard.
http://www.cinemastrikesback.com/news/subway2006/films/bittersweetlife/bittersweetlife2.jpg

wow where was i that i didnt even say the conversation that was happening ahead of me....

im not korean, so i really cant be biased towards either side (american or korean) because im mexican, but i really find korean actors a lot hotter than american actors.
it really seems like american actors know they are hot so they act snobby whereas from what ive seen, and i could be wrong, korean actors seem more leveld.

now here's my list of the hottest:
1. Eric Mun
2.Kang Ji Hwan
3.Goon Yoo
4.Yoon Kye Sang
and did I mention Eric Mun (i personally think he is the hottest!!) :)

@ mishane

I often joke that we Filipinos are really more Hispanic than Asian because other than the fact that we eat rice, we're more related to Latinos (religion, language, etc.) with a (male) Korean friend. To the same person, I had also commented that Koreans only seem to want to date (or even just plain old hang out) within their country set since we both attend a university with a lootttt of Koreans and a lottt of Filipinos. He had told me that is not the case, it just depends on the person and what they're attracted to, so I take his word for it. The same guy also happens to have liked a couple of Filipino girls, haha. Don't be too worried.

"I think there’s probably a HUUUUGE divide between the women who end up on women’s lists and on men’s lists."

Yeah, it's the Sarah Jessica Parker Principle. I guess the Korean equivalent is My Name Is Kim Sam Soon, or specifically "Sam Soon." A lot of guys find Sam Soon rather repulsive, and the show extremely unfunny. There's also a lot of guys who love the show and the main character, but no other really popular show tends to be this decisive.

"Connection" and "Hot" tend to be inextricable linked together. I can view a guy and view him objectively as "Hot" or "Not", but that itself isn't a completely honest reply because I don't feel "It." And if I don't feel "It", then obviously there isn't true sexual attraction. It's still all in the head. If I'm really feeling a character -- and again, I can objectively really enjoy an actor's performance and experience empathy for the character without really "feeling them" -- then it's automatically hot. Or uhhh "oppa! *pout* *wiggle* (thanks Kobe!)

For example, I love So Ji Sup's eyes. But what I'm really saying is how So Ji Sup can make my neck bristle or my chest tight by the way he looks at people or the camera, and how his thoughts and emotions seem just to pour out of them. That translates to "wow, he has such beautiful eyes" to me. Form and function are one.

@Kobe,

"I see Korean actresses in a totally different light to the way I see American actresses. For eg. Jessica Alba = HOT. Kim So Eun = Cute & Adorable. Who would I rather stare at for 16 hours straight? It’s no contest."

Oh yeah, I think we had this conversation like this over at D-addicts. I think what it came down to your attraction for Song Hye Kyo was that, it wasn't really sexual per se (even though . . . ), but that she elicited an intense desire from you (and I mean this in the most non-chauvinistic way) to "protect" and "do right" for a woman like her. Or to be her oppa, so to speak. And the other thing that you found intensely attractive were "smiling eyes", how her (and Kim Tae Hee and Lee Hyori)'s eyes tend to smile along when they smile. You probably don't feel those things for Jessica Alba. But then you might. ;)

@misshane,

"You notice how many dramatic actors hardly make the leap into comedy, because they just don’t have that special skill, comedic timing!)"

Agreed. That's why the only comedies that get nominated for awards are comedies that are "serious", or from Woody Allen. ;)

@39, Kobe -

You said:

"I see Korean actresses in a totally different light to the way I see American actresses. For eg. Jessica Alba = HOT. Kim So Eun = Cute & Adorable. Who would I rather stare at for 16 hours straight? It’s no contest."

So... which way are you leaning? You'd rather stare at Jessica Alba or Kim So Eun? I can't be certain I know which way you'd lean based on the context?

As for me, i'd rather look at Kim So Eun for 16 hours. I'd have to agree with you though, that Jessica Alba has been portrayed more frequently in a provocative "sexy" fashion (and thus may seem more "hot"), whereas Kim So Eun tends to be in the "cutesy" mode. You have to be able to look beyond the portrayals and see past the make-up, clothes and attitude shown to the camera. With the right clothes, make up and atitude, you can make Kim So Eun into a hottie that says, "yes, it's okay to look, but anything more will cost you." But for pure beauty sake, I'd go with Kim So Eun over Jessica Alba.

***

As for Korean male actors vs. American male actors....

Hummm.... this is a hard one. I think it is hard to top Brad Pitt in his early days acting, say, when he was a young actor in Thelma and Louise, just unbeatable.

Hyun Bin isn't...... classic beauty face ala early Brad Pitt, you know what I mean? But I don't know why but overall, he just looks good to me. Maybe part of it is his voice and attitude and so on, hard to say exactly.

But, for the longest time, I didn't find ANY korean guys to be good looking. There was a slight complex associated with that. I was kind of embarassed to be Korean, and so I never thought of myself as being one.

So Hyun Bin (from MNIKSS) was just about the first Korean guy that I saw that I was like, "Hum. He's kinda cool, not what I expected at all for Korean guys. I'm not embarassed by him. I kind of want to look like him, act like him, talk like him." Maybe that's why I sort of have a thing for him.

-Samsooki

"Oh! I had left off my list — Chun Jung-myung. He is so expressive, and so sexy. And Eom Ki-joon!"
Definitely on my list!!! But if I saw them on the street (with no kdrama-watching experience), I wouldn't have given them a second glance.
Beauty definitely is in the eye of the beholder...and I'm with Sarah on the purely superficial vs. what I consider attractive and appealing.

@ mishane: Pakistan/India~ this is basically because people view dating and socialising the way younguns do as a bad thing and especially for girls, because it calls her rep into questions and if she has a bad rep, nobody will want to marry her and since marriages basically 9/10 times are arranged, it kinda becomes the be all end all of our society. It's aaaaall about what people will say/think of you. I have much beef with my culture/society. It's not so bad since I live in London, but my mother especially is very much still with that ideology. Yeah, so, I'm hoping in a few years, career/study will lead to independence. Yeah, a lot of people always say that Koreans are racist and frown upon dating someone of another race (except white people?). I read something once that said if you're not korean or white and plan on marrying a korean guy, BEWARE HIS MOTHER.

BTW, I've seen you around LJ too. The er, icon, isn't exactly forgettable. ^^

- Am I the only one who doesn't find Mr Henney particularly attractive physically? In the same way that I find Robert Pattinson/Daniel Radcliffe unattractive. Honestly, personality becomes everything the minute you do more than just look at a picture. See, DBSK's Junsu is like the love of my life, but the other 4 boys are better looking, and he's not really that photogenic. At the same time, when I watch him sing with his whole freaking body and his veins popping out, it's like I've never seen anything so wonderful in my life.

@ 56 funnybones

When I was younger, I used to think I was more Spanish than Asian. Actually, I stayed far away from the Asian aspect of being Filipino. Most my friends were white and I had a lot of self-hate towards being Filipino.

Haha, about Korean guys liking Filipino girls, in my boarding school, we had a lot of Korean exchange students (in a school of 200, about 20-25 were Korean exchange students). They were all filthy rich (Gucci watches, Armani suits, are you for real? Everyone else at the school were all upper middle class, but they were really upper class) and one of the Korean guys that I used to hang out with and just joke with, I found out he had a major crush on me when I graduated.

lol, he came up to me and gave me this all fur jacket from Burberry (which I was so confused over, like, Burberry fur jacket? Why??) and it never occurred to me that he had a thing for me until way way later.

(Now I find out from old high school friends that his family is some sort of business corporation over there and he lives and works in NYC now. Weird. Missed that chance I guess!)

My List of Hotness (also on my list of good actors): Won Bin, Christian Bale, Leonardo DiCaprio and Keanu Reeves.

My List of Good actors: Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, Denzel Washington, Choi Min-Sik, and Kam Woo-Sung(still bias, i've only seen him in Alone in Love).
For Filipino actor???? oh i dunnooooo, i feel bad saying it but it's Robin Padilla if that matters?! still, I'm proud to be Filipino! hehe ^^

@Samsooki,

"Maybe that’s why I sort of have a thing for him."

It's okay Samsooki. Binniesexuality is not a sin! ;)

I think there's also an innate racial filter that kinda splits off "Asian Hot" and "non-Asian Hot" for me. Because I'm Asian, when I see people who kinda look like me, there's a different base of "eyeball connection" whether the culture is like or not.

But yeah, Brad Pitt in Troy = O_O

Is it Won Bin's nose? I just did a Google image search on Won Bin. Every picture where he's at a slight angle to the camera, I see the nose.

That's what makes Won Bin a hottie for you guys right? The nose?

-Samsooki

@ 60 xiahkixiri

Is the 'marrying a white man' thing big in your culture too?

It's funny. My mother never really emphasized me marring a Filipino guy. I don't know if it's a big deal in Filipino culture currently because I don't really know anyone else Filipino except my mom (and my family in the Philippines who I only visit every 3 years or so).

I think in a lot of countries, maybe 'marrying a white man' is like a sign of economical advantage? Like, here's a better life if you marry a white man.

(I know that when a few of my cousins married white men, or when my mom married a white guy, that's what a lot of people thought).

@Samsooki, mine is his ears! haha! i guess i have a thing with guys ears! and it's the way he talks and his shy smile..i don't mind his nose, it does look a little....meh.

@ Samsooki: Wonbin is a sexpot. I've never thought about his nose! It's that voice, and the eyes are intense when he's serious and adorable when he smiles. He was what got me through the atrocity that was Autumn Tale.

@ mishane: In general, it's not that rare to see a guy marrying a white girl in the West... but those men seem to be pretty removed from the society thing or don't have such close links to their family. In terms of economical advantage, if you're living in the UK/London or America, that's where you get the economical advantage, people think of it as o__O - at the same time, the rich there live WAY better than most of your average middle classers here. You hear a lot of Indian/Asian women, like my neighbour, say how they live like dogs, LOL. Irony, mal do andwe~

Hi!!

TGIF!!!

ARe there any great dramas that anyone would reccomend?? I started watching the last scandel and evasive investigative agency, but i keep reading the episode summaries on Dramabeans!

@ 65 mishane - I am not Asian but in Latino culture is seems more and more acceptable. I married a white guy. My parents at first were stand offish about him but over the years they are warmed. My sister followed suit and though of our generation we are the only two to marry white guys I think that it will be easier our younger cousins if they were dating white guys. So far, none are.

@Belleza
"It’s okay Samsooki. Binniesexuality is not a sin!"

Aahahah. *g* Love you

@63, Belleza,

My standard line. I'm cool with bisexuality, but that's not me. I'm also cool with homosexuality, but again, not really me. I guess you are right in a way, it is a binniesexuality that has me wondering what would happen if he was at a bar, and I was at a bar... and there was free liquor, and there was a lot of good music on, and I wasn't married, etc.... *never mind*

My relatively recent fascination with Korean americans as role models is really stemming from the fact that I've never seen them before until I started getting into K-dramas and movies.

You have to understand where I am coming from. White bread America, born in Iowa, private NE prep schooling, ivy league, etc. Do you see a single Asian male in a Brooks Brothers catalog? Do you know why?

It's because Asian males are not sexual beings in America. Sorry, that's the way it has been. And it makes being a Korean-american guy incredibly difficult growing up because we are neutered before we reach puberty. For me to have been a sexual being, I had to have been something else other than an asian american male. Even today - look at how many African American males play medical doctors on television, versus how many Asian American males play the same roles (versus, say, reality - check out the classrooms in med school). The reason is that being male smexy (hot and a doctor) in America means you can't be an Asian guy.

So, really, it has been the recent Hallyu wave that has turned my prejudices against Korean males upside down, and so now I feel a lot different, all of a sudden, and that's why I got a soft spot for Hyun Bin, who was my 'first' crush. LOL. I may speak in tones that imply certain feelings, but really, it's the only way to get across the magnitude of the change in mindset.

It's okay to be a Korean guy now. And that means its okay for me to be me. You know?

-Samsooki

xiahkixiri ,
"it kinda becomes the be all end all of our society. It’s aaaaall about what people will say/think of you"

You admit that you have a beef with our culture, so I hope people will take your generalizations about dating, treatment of women, and marriage with a grain of salt.

South Asian cultures are different from that of the western world. we do approach the entire enterprise of love and relationships differently. Different is not bad. And trying to preserve culture is not bad. Most marriages are "arranged" in terms of two families introducing potential partners to each other, and over the course of years and many options, two families come together to make a partnership work. The only difference between western and eastern in this matter is that one is not always test driving the car or even owning the car for years before deciding to buy it. We spend more time window shopping and then the car is often around for a lifetime, dinks, dents, and all.

I am sorry that you find our cultures' way of doing things problematic, and I hope you find happiness in your western pursuit for love, but reducing our centuries old tradition to "all about what people think" is really unfair.

Also, the argument that anyone is racist for wanting to marry within one's culture is ridiculous. I want to marry someone who shares my language, preferably my religious background, my concept of commitment, etc. But I will take a Korean hottie any day.

--
mishane - May 1, 2009 at 11:01 am

@ 60 xiahkixiri

"Is the ‘marrying a white man’ thing big in your culture too?"

Oooh, this conversation is beginning to make me very uncomfortable. Mishane, I don't mind you asking this question but before you rely on anyone's answer, please remember that INDIA ALONE HAS 1 BILLION PEOPLE. Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka make up another HALF BILLION. They have seven major religions represented, along with hundreds of sects. The "People" and cultures are made up of Afghanis, Central Asians, Turks, Tamils, Sinhalas, Bengalis. The "cultures" go back to the beginning of the Indus Valley civilization especially because religion in South Asian took root in a syncretic fashion--that is culture took precedence over doctrine.

With that in mind: Dating outside of religion and caste is rare. Hindus marry within their castes. Muslims, Hindus, Jains, Sikhs, etc, rarely intermarry. Clothing, music, food are all distinct.

Marrying "White" comes with a LOT of political tension. the Indian subcon was colonized by the "Whites" (Dutch, Portuguese, English) for hundreds of years, so white men in particular are often not accepted as marriage material (call it instinctual anger). I am generalizing big time but you will rarely see a brown girl with a white husband (I am not talking about brown girls living in the West). Brown men with white wives is more common, but overall, intermarriages are extremely rare.

I like Hyun Bin too, i think he's hot...and most other K-actors are..but To me I will never replace my first love--Won Bin! ^^

and for being married to a white or black guys and you're asian, you will always get that look from people...anywhere you go, even in the Philippines! lol

@ 72 Samsooki

I liked your post and think that you're very correct about Asian males being 'neutered', as you say it. Unfortunately, in US society, at least IMO, Asian men aren't marketed as sexy, but more as smart, etc. It's all stereotypes.

Which is why I'm thankful for k/j/tw-dramas for showing me a different side. Because honestly, Asians are not prevalent at all in US society, we hardly see them so no one really gets to see the other side of them.

The most famous Asian male that I can think of right now is Jackie Chan and Jet Li and they are hardly marketed as sexy. (As opposed to Asian females who are marketed usually as ULTRA sexy, but let's not get into gender differences, that'll open up a WHOLE other can of worms, ugh, Asian women and porn and kjslkfjsdfjie#@$($%@@)

So yeah, I feel for some Asian guys that I see sometimes. And I admit to falling into that trap sometimes, of Asian guys not being sexy. Thankful, that view has started to change.

@48 km

It was actually on HYD, I haven't seen KwP yet. I'm glad nobody else has claimed him here. It was his eyes that got me...hehe. Nino is cute, but he's all yours. :)

Who are the guys in this thread besides Samsooki?

"is it Won Bin’s nose? I just did a Google image search on Won Bin. Every picture where he’s at a slight angle to the camera, I see the nose."

It's his Everything. :D

If you want to talk about manly noses, the conversation begins and ends with Joo Jin Mo. Oh Ji Ho may be a Greek statue; but Joo Jin Mo is the Roman Statue that replaced the Greek statue when the Empire moved in. There's hot, there's manly, then there's Joo Jin Mo, who's ludicrously hot and kinda in Korean Fabio/bodice ripper territory for me.

When Joo Jin Mo eats an apple, another tree comes up from the ground. That's how sex JJM is.

@misshane,

"Unfortunately, in US society, at least IMO, Asian men aren’t marketed as sexy, but more as smart, etc. It’s all stereotypes. "

There's also different images of masculinity between cultures as well. Lee Jung Ki is not considered "hot" here, even by most Asian American women. Whereas muscular Asian men (and even your typical Korean actor is kinda big for Japanese tastes) is not considered attractive at all in, say, Tokyo.

@ 73 Nom Kitteh

Sorry if the question made you uncomfortable. I asked to get some insight and I was aware that the answer I'd get would be generalized (an answer I get from a faceless person on the internet isn't going to be what I base all my views or beliefs on, more like a start to understanding things).

But thanks for the small history lesson. I don't have much interaction with the Indian culture (and don't even ask me to know the different subsets or types or races) so it's interesting to learn a little more.

Interesting thing to note: One of our family friends, Indian family, with 3 Indian daughters (BTW, everyone in this family went is a doctor, one of the girls got a perfect SAT score and got free admission to Harvard, they are pretty much an awesome family) one of the Indian daughters is marrying a white Swedish guy she met in med school. The mom was so over excited about it. But that's just one view of it I guess, and I take into account the fact that they were all born and raised in the States and are very Americanized (they still wear the sari's though, sometimes).

That felt like a huge run on sentence to me and I don't even know what point I was trying to make!

@ Nom Kitteh: I am slightly surprised and glad that it's not like that with you or where you are, but in my family and extended family, both in the UK and Pakistan, and with those around us, it honest to God is a really intense thing. No matter where I look, marriage and what people think of you is what everybody's lives revolve around. When I was around 16/17, I began to think an insane amount about marriage and what it would be like, because it was all around me, and all the adults' casual talk about me and my sisters and goddamn marriage. Ehhh... LOL, because my family's like that, there isn't any dating or Western pursuit of love. Rather, I idealise the idea of drama-like love itself, and am probably like a good girl going to have an arranged marriage~ and the idea of love just floats around, hoping to insert itself somewhere. I was joking with my mother yesterday about how if during the arranged marriage intro meetings, it wouldn't be hard at all to sabotage it, and she, also jokingly, said she would say 'if you screw up, you'll see my dead face'; but that sort of emotional blackmail is also something I've seen and heard of happening, it's frighteningly real. I don't think our culture or way of doing things is bad, but it's been incessantly perverted to the extent that things just don't work the way they should anymore. The Western way also has flaws of course, but a lot of the time, it feels like standing at the bottom of a pit it'd take decades to climb out of.

Nonono, this is where I don't express myself properly, I wasn't saying someone was racist for wanting to marry into their culture at all! This is from what I picked up from hearing Koreans talk/blog about it, because I was curious about it; most of them said that their Korean parents would resist very hard if they wanted to marry out of their race~ with the SNSD's Taeyeon/Alicia Keys comment, I came across those sorts of conversations/comments a lot.

@ 77 belleza

-There’s also different images of masculinity between cultures as well. Lee Jung Ki is not considered “hot” here, even by most Asian American women. Whereas muscular Asian men (and even your typical Korean actor is kinda big for Japanese tastes) is not considered attractive at all in, say, Tokyo.-

I'm aware of the Lee Jung Ki thing. I think that's probably something that spans across all cultures (men with feminine features not considered 'hot').

I wasn't aware of the Japan thing although it makes more sense now, seeing as how almost every guy in the j-dramas I've seen look almost anorexic. So skinny! I want to feed them.

(Actually skinny lean guys are more my type than buff guys. It's rare that a buff guy will make me all hot and heavy. All I think of is, there's too much muscle! It's like if I touch them their whole body is hard and that's not attractive to me!)

@samsooki, may I ask if your wife is of Korean descent? Sorry, it's a personal question, but your general commentary about coming around to finding that is okay to be a Korean man now is interesting to me. I completely understand where you are coming from because i am horrified by not only how much East Asian men are invisible (made invisible) in Western media, but how when visible, they are never really represented as "male".

South Asian men seem to have...an easier time...in "white" America (South Asian women, like East Asian women, have it super easy -- we are sickeningly exoticized), and I have often wondered why. My South Asian male friends who grew up or have lived for a while in America are married to a wide array of united-colors-of Benetton women, and although they complain about how being South Asian seemed to give them an automatic nerd designation, growing up, they never had problem dating non-brown girls. Even my college friends (non-brown ones) found my South Asian male friends "smokin' hot." Even now, while East Asian men seem to be still invisible in media, I see South Asians every-freaking- where, from Obama's cabinet, to the CEOs, to Paging Dr. Gupta, to editors...Granted that they are often one kind of South Asian -- you still rarely see a Pakstani in mainstream media.

Anyway, the whole conversation about race in America makes me really uncomfortable. In South Asia, we are blunt and honest and in-your-face about it, and I prefer that. You know where you stand. I hate the politically-correct tiptoeing around this HUGE issue that I feel have to do here. So know that I post this with some trepidation and unease.

This is probably a stupid question which most of you already know. But can I just ask something?

Is Javabeans korean or does she speak and understand korean fluently? Because she does really good recaps and I'm just curious.

Thanks :)

I guess I got overexcited there... @ mishane: an Indian friend in America's mother is oddly paranoid about her meeting guys, but would be totes okay with her marrying a non-Indian, even though an Indian is preferred. India and Pakistan really are huge and you get all sorts of mixes, of course. In my little corner of the world, though, what I said was honestly how it is. Just, I've seen a lot that gets me grouchy. *shrug*

@ 79 xiahkixiri

Ooh, what SNSD’s Taeyeon/Alicia Keys comment? That sounds interesting. I was just talking about white/asian before I'd never even thought of black/asian (which, in my culture, is still sometimes looked down on, for example, I didn't really tell my mom when my first boyfriend was black).

And thanks for educating me on your culture/life a little bit. I remember I was shocked in college. This girl that was in a few of my classes, I got to know her a little bit. She was fun and kind of a party animal. Well, the next semester I came back and she was wearing one the face covering/turban things and when I talked to her, I found out she got married to some 40 year old guy during the summer. She started dressing differently also. That was my only first hand experience with arranged marriages. Seriously, she went from wild chick, who came to class in mini skirts and tank tops to coming to school completely covered up and never talked to anyone.

I totally understand you Javabeans about the criterias thing. Daniel Henney is awesome looking but uh. Dennis Oh is equally fine but double uh.

I don't have a "mine" list though I have favorites, cause I'm pretty bias towards the drama or movie I watch. I like characters more than actors. Hehe. Like I like Kim Myung-Min in BV but not in Open City much. Or take Japanese dramas. I LOVE Takuya Kimura in Hero but not in Pride.

But my fave actress so far would be Jeon Do-Yeon, queen of Cannes! I don't know, I just love her eyes when she smile. Ever since watching Lovers in Prague, I have a soft spot for her. And same goes for Han Ji-Hye. Somehow I will watch her movies and dramas (except East of Eden. I'm sorry, Song Seung Hoon and 50++ episodes. Nay.)

And as for actors, there's always a thin line between "OMG, good looking!" (i.e. Kim Hyun-Joong) and "OMG, good looking and CAN ACT!" (i.e. WonBin) and those who can really act but not necessarily good looking. To me, Cha Tae-Hyeon is not good looking but he is great as an actor. I LOVED him in Ba:bo. Haven't watched Speedy Scandal yet or Flowers Of My Life. Should I watch that?

I have a soft spot for Yoo Gun as well. Loved loved loved him in Hello God.

There are also some actors/actresses whom I'll always see them but don't particularly like. Son Ye-Jin for example. Open City, A Moment To Remember, Art of Seduction...she's always a pleasant surprise but somehow that "emotional connection"...nada. Same goes for Song Hye-Kyo. And Jang Hyuk. And many others. Even Kim Ha-Neul.

I can't believe I took so long just to answer this. Hahaha. And it seems like my taste totally differs from EVERYONE ELSE. :)

@ 81 Nom Kitteh

You bring up a really good point, and something I never really thought about, the difference between how East and South Asian males are depicted in the Western world. Something I can muse about later.

But yeah, I hate how sexualized Asian women are in the media. I remember reading this chick lit book about this Asian female who, after dating a whole bunch of white boys, realized that most of them just had that 'yellow fever' and expected things from from her that could only be seen in a porno.

(Seriously, what's with the view that Asian women love threesomes and are ultra flexible? Ugh. And the whole school girl thing?)

Anyways. nom kitteh, what is this HUGE ISSUE? I don't think anyone is really tip-toeing around anything, unless the issue is something I'm not aware of.

@81, Nom Kitteh-

Yeap. My wife was born in Seoul, moved to the States as a kid. Her speaking Korean is better than mine, and these days she teases me in Korean a bit about my lack of speaking ability. Before, I wouldn't have cared, but now, I care a lot more. It is hard to be a "Korean guy" if you don't speak Korean fluently, you know? I mean, I speak Korean, but not like they do in the dramas, and so that makes me less of a Korean guy, at least in my eyes...

This is about identity, and about me trying to make me be me, and right now, my me is trying to see if I would be a good Korean me, since now, being a Korean guy is okay and pretty cool in my eyes.

I think my wife might deny it (if she is reading this, LOL, I am so loopy, I hope she doesn't read this, but if you are, remember we are going shopping wherever you want tomorrow), but I think she likes Hyun Bin too. uh oh... it looks to be trouble at Samsooki Manor... what if Hyun Bin, me and my wife were all at a bar.... and there was a lot of free liquor, and good music, and.... Hyun Bin says something off-hand and cool and totally random to me for no reason like "gwen chan ah..." hehe.... *shakes it off* I would just shake hands with him. That's it.

-Samsooki

Wow, this is what happens when I leave for a few hours and come back to this thread.

On the subject of Asian males.. I'm going to come right out and say that I didn't really have a thing for Hyun Bin until I saw Snow Queen. Sure, I thought he was attractive, but it was his character in Snow Queen that drew me.

I'm the kind of person who can go, "Wow, what a beautiful creature," (and I second the general opinion about Daniel Henney) but I won't become attracted to someone until I've seen them as a unique person I might actually like in real life. Which usually requires decent acting, and a character I can connect with. I also find two extremes attractive--either really rugged/manly, or calm/cool/collected/unreadable. I find goofballs adorable, but I don't generally want them in my bed or anything. (There are exceptions of course.)

Right now, the guys I'd want are Hyun Bin (I prefer him when he's rugged, I've found), Won Bin (mostly for cuddling), Yoon Kye-sang, Yunho (from DBSG; I've been in love with him for years XD), Kirito (Japanese musician), Narimiya Hiroki (Japanese actor), Eric (based solely on Que Sera Sera), George Hu (Taiwanese actor), and recently Kim Kang-woo.

In the same vein, I don't have many favourite actresses. There are a few I dislike (Song Hye-kyo comes to mind, because I feel like she's a rather flat actress), but there are very few I get excited about seeing in something. This is probably because I'm not attracted to women, so I view the actresses merely as objects around which the men can act. That doesn't mean I can't get attached to female characters, but I don't associate actresses with the feelings I develop towards their characters. Thus, I am much more objective towards actresses, and I see each drama as a new chance for them to develop a character, going in with no preconceptions.

There are a few exceptions to this, of course--I've always liked Gwyneth Paltrow, Katherine Hepburn, and Audrey Hepburn, for instance, and I'm used to them playing certain types of characters. I've yet to develop such feelings towards any Asian actresses yet, though. Perhaps the closest would be Koyuki (Japanese actress from Kimi Wa Petto and Sayuri), but I don't love her to the degree I love the others.

And just for general information, I am the whitest American girl you will ever see, and my exposure to Asian males (first from dramas, then in real life) was pretty much nonexistent until mid-late high school (not including the two Taiwanese boys I grew up with). Now, though, I'd be hard-pressed to find many Caucasian males I'm attracted to. (There are some, but not many.) I seem to have developed a taste for Asian guys that has almost completely overridden everything else.

In other news, it's really gloomy/drizzly/cold outside today. It's officially May; I want my warm weather back. :/

*LOL* @ Samsooki

You gonna get in trouble!

Really great thread. I have two parts to comment on...

First inter-racial dating ect. To be honest I grew up in white America WI in an all whie community. We saw an occasional African American come through but that is all. OK I am now 53 and have lived in MD for over 25 years and throughout the US before that. Here we have a lot of Asians from all over. The university where my kids went and are going to has a huge Asian population. Koreans for the most part stick to themselves. My daughter is in finance classes with a few of them and became study partners with one of them. His friends won't talk to her and he wouldn't introduce her. Her Chinese and Phillipino friends are friendly and will intoduce her to others. My 2nd oldest daughter is engaged to a Chinese boy she met at the same university...eventhough his parents are less than thrilled. The culture difference does make problems on both sides once in a while. My youngest is learning Korean and watches all the KDramas(like her Mom) and was going to teach or help teach English in Korea after she graduates next year. She has now changed her mind as she realizes she won't fit in or be accepted due to what she has learned from the Koreans at her school. It is giving up a two year dream. On my part it is up to her.

The second part is the romance dramas. They are too predictable and it is starting me also to quit watching some of them. "Queen of Housewives" I thought was so good until I realized that even though none of the people are meant for each other.. for the kids and K morals they will all stay together. In reality they would all live ubhappy lives. The women will give into the men to keep the families together even though they can't stand their spouses (except Bonsoon who loves whats his name literaly to death) I was surprised "Hateful Once Again" did the divorce thing but that also had a crappy ending. Even in EOE DC ended up being "Jesus " by the crappy writer and he didn't get with GYR(I didn't like her though)but didn't want DC to die. We need some more realistic endings. OK this is long enough

@Samsooki
*g*

@chajjye RE: flowers for my life
OMG yes, watch it! It's awesome! It's witty and fun and its humor is a bit dark, but oh so good. I'm still halfway through it and if it keeps being this good, it might even shot at #1 of my fave drama list. Highly recced! It is SUCH a shame it's so underrated

@mishane - haha i was totally a spuffy fan too!!! i mean, i liked her and angel, but it was when she got with spike that things got REALLY interesting :o) and as for dawson's creek... pacey was always my favorite.. dawson creeped me out and i wanted to slap him...what did u call him..a whiny little asshat? my sentiments EXACTLY.

i feel you on your romantic kdrama rant... as much as i love them because it DOES end in a specific # of episodes and in general you know how it's gonna end, i do wish that the writers would throw in a couple of interesting twists to keep it fresh. that's a main reason i haven't kept up on kdramas - it takes 16-20 eps to conclude in a way i could have totally predicted.

with US series - though each season is 20ish eps too, theres twists constantly thrown in and you never know who will end up with who at season's end. keeps it interesting (for the most part haha).

question for you though: so you're enjoying love shuffle? I really wanted to watch it because I like Matsuda Shota and Hiroshi Tamaki.. but I watched like the first 15 min and I was bored out of my mind. Does it get more interesting later on? If so I may give it a second try. After Nodame Cantabile, I can't get enough of Tamaki and have been searching for new works from him :) Thanks!

On a different thread.... yay for FRIDAY!! and yay for WOLVERINE! I can't wait to see my 3 men on the big screen together: hugh, daniel and taylor.... it'll be a night of yum. =P

Anyone else just get done with exams???!
Feels amazing doesn't it!!!

Time to have a drama watching marathon :)

Because the work day is going by sooooooooo slllooowwwllllyyyyyy. . .Ugh. Friday afternoons always seem the longest.

Like a previous poster said, I separate my men/women from East/West.

Top 3 Men (west):
1) Clive Owen - Rugged, handsome, sexy accent, smoldering eyes, I would let him ravage me until daylight came. And then some more. He's dark, dirty but can be funny. Acting is great (loved him in Closer) and he's also great at action.
2) Jude Law- This one is purely physical. He is beautiful to my. I swear, all throughout the movie Alfie, I was horny. TMI, but I don't care. If I met him in real life, I'd probably just start taking my clothes off. Also, the accent is a plus. His real life personality is a little off putting, but he's not the type for the long run, maybe a nice little quickie and on the side thing, lol.
3) Sean Penn/Dustin Hoffman/etc. Older men. Great actors. I think I'll include William Defoe in this. He's impressive and I like the range of his roles.

Top 3 Women (west):
1) Natalie Portman- She is the most beautiful woman in my eyes. Her bone structure is just breathtaking. Dude, she shaved her head and managed to rock that! Plus she's smart and well spoken and hardly ever wears make up. Talk about confident.
2) Jessica Alba- She's just smokin. Hot. Gorgeous. Bad actress. Kind of annoying in real life. But she's sexy. And I think she has gorgeous skin tone (Actually, one of the greatest compliments I've received was from someone in high school who I barely knew who told me that I looked a little like Jessica Alba. I don't see it but thanks!)
3) Audrey Hepburn. Yeah, cliche but she had so much charisma. Again, beautiful bone structure. Unique voice. Decent acting skills. Great person all around (humanitarian, no crazy scandals that I know of).

Actually, I didn't judge any woman on an acting scale which is kind of sad. It's hard for me to judge acting with women. I can't really name an actress who I think is amazing. I think I'm TOLD actresses are great, but I don't always see it. If anything the female actresses that I find to be amazing are more comedians than the dramatic actresses.

@ 92 lovenyc52

1) Oh man, Buffy was such a HUGE part of my life! It was the first show that I really watched and fell in love with. I geeked out and read all the fanfic, downloaded the wallpapers and everything. I read the essays (yes there were essays!) and waxed poetic about it.

2) Love Shuffle. I don't mind it. It's cute. Shota is smoking hot sexy in it. I normally watch my dramas all at once, as in I could finish a drama in 2 weeks, sometimes even one week if I want. But because I'm watching it with a community (only 2 episodes a week so it's paced out) I don't really notice the boring. It's enjoyable, but I look most forward to discussing it with the other people. If you are a fan of Shota, then definitely watch it.

@ mishane,
I don't mind your asking -- I just tense up when conversations veer into that East versus West mentality because we are on the internet, talking in English, so the conversation often will privilege the Western way just because of who is representing. But I think it is important to ask questions and I appreciate your curiosity.

About your example: "marrying a white Swedish guy she met in med school"--I am willing to bet BIG MONEY that the mother is more excited about the fact that her daughter is marrying a doctor :-) . Trust me, any Indian mother's ultimate dream to get her daughter married to a doctor. Also, let me guess, the Swedish guy doesn't come from a broken family background? More than religion in increasingly secular regions, family background has a bigger role: If you come from a divorced background, good luck trying to marry a girl/boy from an intact family. The assumption is that the potential for divorce is higher if it is there divorce in the background so those unions are believed to be doomed from the beginning. Marriage is a life time commitment so choices are offered/made not based on romance but on the potential for stability -- does the man have good character, potential for success, potential to be a good father, etc. (Most Hindus, for example, consult astrology and set wedding dates that are considered the most fortuitous for the stability of the marriage. I once had a three day notice on a wedding because the next "good" day was a year away!)

--
"xiahkixiri - May 1, 2009 at 11:34 am

it honest to God is a really intense thing. No matter where I look, marriage and what people think of you is what everybody’s lives revolve around. When I was around 16/17, I began to think an insane amount about marriage and what it would be like, because it was all around me, and all the adults’ casual talk about me and my sisters and goddamn marriage. Ehhh… "

My heart goes out to you because it sounds like you are under unreal pressure. I know what you are talking about -- talk of needing to "settle down" is annoyingly omnipresent. The emotional blackmail your mother is using is horrible, and yes, the society spends way too much time worrying about what people think. I think that a lot of good comes from the societal pressures but I also see how it is stifling. That said, some of the reasons for the grinding poverty in South Asia is the obscenely young age at which girls are married and the lack of education for girls and it is something we need to actively combat. So I don't mean to sugarcoat the problems that larger community has, but I am not sure that the "Western" way of approaching it is any better :-) . I have way too many western female friends dealing with cheating husbands, boyfriends who won't commit, and casual dating and sometimes frantic internet dating, etc.. It is can just as emotionally draining. Relationships are hard anywhere.

I think I got defensive because I have heard Americans mention here and there that South Asians are racist because they often marry within their own cultures. Even second generation South Asian Americans rarely go outside their "community" (I think the rate of exogamous marriage for South Asian Americans women is like a 8% -- which is freakishly low compared to some East Asian-Americans rates which at at 50%). Also, arranged marriage gets damned a lot in the West, and the reductive approach to it all gets annoying. I am tired of defending my siblings' or parents' marriages (most of them "arranged") because I think they have much healthier marriages than many non-arranged marriages i see around me. But it is hard to break through the mindset I come across here.

Ultimately, of course, having a choice in the matter is important, and I sense that you are feeling like you don't have a choice :-( . Picking someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is at the end of the day a leap of faith, so if a biodata of a good Pakistani man -- someone with potential to be a good provider, stable father, etc., -- comes your way, I say jump, but only when you are ready :-) .

Jeete ro, beti!

@42JAVA-B: Ummm! That's one big pic of Daniel H! Been collecting his pics huh!? *giggling, giggling*

@72 SAMSOOKI: I get your point of view and i agree. Generally, here in America, people have different view on what a hunk is(based on what i have been exposed to). Even most asian women who were born and raised here and have liberated lifestyle tend to prefer white, black or mixed(specifically asian-white but still looks more like a white guy with hints of asian blood, like Daniel H) americans. And yes, Asian guys.... especially those who really look asian are the LEAST preferred. I think it is because the general perception of perfect aesthetic of a man is tall, chiseled, and muscular with almost perfect face symmetry... and these are in abundance here in america.

However...., Asian guys! DONT DESPAIR! There are still a lot of women who appreciate the beauty of asian men! Here in Boston, asian guys seemed to be all hooked up! *giggle giggle*

Just come and see here in Boston!!!! Go Celtics!!! GO REDSOX!!!

MY CURRENT FAVORITE GUYS (Actually, i really prefer asian actors then american...hehehe.... am sooo loyal!)
1...GONG YOO
2..DONG SHIN WOOK
3..JOO JI HOON
RAIN
LEE JUN KI
YAMAPI
KIMURA TAKUYA
IN SEONG JO
VIC ZHOU
JAMES KYSON LEE
MASI OKA

AND MY ASIAN DOCTOR-COLLEAGUE IN THE HOSPITAL!!! (lol)

@ mishane; You didn't hear? Taeyeon was on radio with her then co-DJ Kangin and another male guest I don't know/remember, they were talking about Alicia Keys and she said 'for a black person, she's really very pretty'. International kpoppers declare her the anti-Christ, Korean netizens don't seem to care much at all: they called for an apology when she criticised the doctors at her local hospital but didn't seem to care about the Alicia Keys comment at all (although I may have just missed it, but I don't think there was). She got a lot of intl antis~ but a Korean fan in SNSD's Soompi thread said that it was common there, eg she'd heard her grandmother be casually racist when she was younger. My Korean friend also said that Koreans generally were racist; quite a lot of people said so. It seemed about right, considering Korean netizens' lack of interest, and the fact that Kangin/the other guest didn't skip a beat or say 'no, she's pretty no matter what her race'. I came across a vid of Taeyeon singing Can You Hear Me just today and the comments were full of wank, both those criticising and defending her.

Yeah, I can see that happening, about your classmate; generally, I've seen it be the other way around. Girls with strict parents wear scarfs/cover up when they leave the house because their parents enforce them, and let loose/go wild when they're out. Nom Kitteh reminded me to be careful with my generalisations, though; I've also seen older women, like in their 30s, go all miniskirty. Then other parents are okay with their children doing whatever, with neither generations being particularly religious.

@ Kender: So with you there on the not noticing any guy whose not Asian anymore. I saw a guy the other day who looked EXACTLY like Ming from BOF/AST'1, I was staring so bad. And today, a guy passed across and I SWEAR he was doing the hand-foot bit of Suju's Sorry Sorry dance, and laughing REALLY loudly while he was doing it. ^^

I just got reminded of this when javabeans uploaded Yoon Do Hyun's song "no regrets". What happened to him? I heard he got banned or something.