Wishes, betrayals, defections, and feasts. That’s pretty much this episode in a nutshell. Oh, and eyeball charades — who knew it was a thing?
EPISODE 346. Broadcast on August 7, 2011.
javabeans: With the race over and the three winners selected, the four guys who made it to Jeju have some downtime as they wait for Ji-won and Tae-woong to join them.
girlfriday: I find it funny that they insisted on waiting for the race to end before flying them over. Rules are rules. While they wait, Ho-dong does a rendition of 2ne1’s “I Am the Best,” but of course his version is: “I Eat the Best.” Pwahahaha!
javabeans: Ho-dong is still worried about his image being hurt by his betrayal of Su-geun, and while Seung-gi tries to say that the fans will probably understand, Su-geun sticks it to him a little more, pointing out that Ho-dong’s reaction was so instinctual that it’s indicative of a traitorous personality. Ho-dong admits that he feels uneasy about that, ha.
girlfriday: I love this about Ho-dong. He can fight and complain till the cows come home, but then caves to his true weaknesses so very quickly. The way he agrees with Su-geun cracks me up. Seung-gi suggests that if his body reacted before his brain, then he has Betrayer DNA. Heh.
javabeans: Finally the other two arrive, and the team is assembled to do the Jeju Island opening.
girlfriday: Ooooo, now we get to the good part! The wishing!
javabeans: The winners are announced — Seung-gi in first, then Ho-dong, then Jong-min — and Ho-dong affects a humble attitude about not exulting in his victory. But then Na PD tests that by saying (did he make this up out of thin air?), “I thought I heard you say earlier that you’d give your wish to Su-geun.” And Ho-dong retorts, “Nice try, that won’t work.”
girlfriday: Na PD totally makes that up just to jab at his sore spot. So evil. Muahahaha.
javabeans: I love the almost-visible undercurrent of unease running through Ho-dong’s behavior in this whole wish sequence, like when he asks Tae-woong if he really gave all his money to Seung-gi without a second thought. It’s like he can’t believe Tae-woong would be that trusting, because he wouldn’t. And Tae-woong replies with that sweet boyishness, “They say the poorest families are peaceful.” Aw.
girlfriday: He’s so cute. Ho-dong should know that if anyone is that trusting, it’d be Tae-woong. I mean, he’s usually on the receiving end of that devotion.
javabeans: Seung-gi requests consultation time with his teammates before making his wish, which Ho-dong tries to argue against, not liking the idea of being left out of this. It can only spell badness for him and his fractured team, right? Ji-won points out, “But we’re investors!” Haha. Adding to the metaphor, Su-geun jokes that he’s been scammed of his investment.
girlfriday: He’s so world-weary about it, like: some people invest and make money, while other people get scammed out of their life savings. Ha.
javabeans: I’m sort of loving how they carry this metaphor on, and when Team Scary rejoins the others, Seung-gi explains that while he came as CEO [of this hypothetical company], he also has major stockholders to consider. Ji-won, indicating Tae-woong: “He’s a minority stockholder.” Time for Seung-gi to make the wish. He starts talking about teamwork and faith, prompting the PD comment, “Ah, quite different from someone else, I see.”
girlfriday: Haha, fanning the flames of discord. Na PD’s trying to roast a pig today.
javabeans: Seung-gi’s in total peacemaker/politician mode now, smoothing things over so Ho-dong isn’t the villain. He says Ho-dong taught him that concentrating too much on one’s own image goes contrary to the duties of being part of a variety show.
girlfriday: Now Seung-gi’s baiting him too! Ho-dong quickly tries to woo him over to the dark side: “It takes great courage to play the bad guy.” Oh man, this twist is going to knock him down so hard.
javabeans: As Seung-gi works up to the great reveal, Ho-dong tempts him to join his side: “Turn your back, Seung-gi. It’s time to ditch Ji-won.” But no, Seung-gi actually says, “The current wish-holders in second and third places, Kim Jong-min and Kang Ho-dong — please swap them with Eun Ji-won and Lee Su-geun.”
girlfriday: Oh my GOD, it’s even more genius than before! This way they secure Su-geun over to their side, making it a sure 4:2 situation in their favor. Seriously, I’m marveling at Ji-won right now. If they hadn’t conferred just now, Seung-gi would’ve made Tae-woong 3rd place, as planned. Brilliant.
javabeans: There’s such a moment of shock that the surprise doesn’t even register until Seung-gi repeats that he wants Ji-won in second, and Su-geun in third. Wither Tae-woong? (I knew it! I knew Tae-woong would give up his spot for the greater — political — good!) Su-geun sits up in surprise and feigns tears of emotion.
girlfriday: And reacting exactly as they planned, Su-geun bows in allegiance to his new boss, Seung-gi. This cracks me up so hard. It’s like a mafia war or something. Ho-dong screams, “Aren’t we comedians?!” and Su-geun just gives him his nastiest weasliest look, like you can take your comedian and shove it.
javabeans: HAHA, Ho-dong is affronted at Na PD’s easy acceptance of this wish, but now Jong-min sees which way the wind is blowing and slips over to the other side. Now he remembers the 20,000 won he lent Tae-woong, and exclaims, “I bought insurance!” Hee. Seung-gi: “Ah, did you invest in our company? Come on over!”
girlfriday: Now it’s really 5:1. How’s Ho-dong gonna get himself out of this one? This isn’t going to be like the time they wang-tta’d him so bad that they filmed a mock opening the next week without him, right?
javabeans: Ho-dong launches into this whole extended metaphor about how this is bad business, with the one powerful company abusing its power to thwart the little companies around it. But Seung-gi hijacks the metaphor, comparing the 1N2D world to a government, in which Na PD is president and they were acting according to his instructions. Hahaha.
girlfriday: The other boys just look on with gaping mouths as Seung-gi and Ho-dong go at it like they’re in debate club (and now I’m totally picturing both of them as the biggest nerds in mock U.N. or something), and the captions introduce them as CEOs of companies A and B, like they’re actually having a political debate. Ha. I do love how deftly they move from metaphor to metaphor, to prove their points. That’s not as easy as it looks. But then in the end, it’s comedy that wins over logic, as Su-geun explains that it’s like finding a magic lamp, saying your wish, and then BAM! Wish granted. Hahaha. Well when you put it like that…
javabeans: Oh man, and then Ho-dong appeals to his buddy Su-geun, totally guilt-tripping him, which should make no sense at all in light of his own betrayal.
girlfriday: Su-geun starts out defiantly, asking if he should use his wish to make Ho-dong disappear. Haha. He starts screaming, “If I had a time machine, I’d go back to that moment, when you took my hand so warmly!” Ho-dong zeroes in on Su-geun alone and tries to bully him into coming over. Su-geun counters in banmal: “If I were you, I’D come over here.” Hahaha. But the truth is, no matter how much he complains, Ho-dong has this hold over him and he knows it. He starts to waver.
javabeans: So now Su-geun is all confused and ends up going back to Team Babo. Well, it ain’t babo for no reason? Jong-min, that fickle ship-jumper, senses that maybe the producers are going to uphold the original wish holders, and since he would win a wish in that scenario, he jumps back too.
girlfriday: I can’t believe Su-geun went back, after everything Team Scary did! But his undying bromance with Ho-dong is kind of adorable. He tells his hyung that he threw him away but he came back, and he kicked him aside but he came back again, and Ho-dong can do nothing but apologize, ‘cause it’s totally true. Heh. But then Su-geun takes it too far, pointing out that he forgave Ho-dong, making all of this possible, and Ho-dong somehow turns it around on him, and in the end, Su-geun is the one apologizing. Pffft!
javabeans: So now we’re in our original team configurations again, ha. Only, the wishes still have to be sorted out. Na PD agrees that it’s unfair to strip the original winners of their prize, but also acknowledges that Seung-gi’s wish is valid. He has used his, so now Ji-won has a wish, and so does Su-geun. But in the name of fairness, Na PD declares that Su-geun’s wish ought to be split between his team…giving each Babo a 33.3% wish.
girlfriday: Hahahahaha! Evil genius strikes again!
javabeans: Ho-dong and Su-geun amend the percentage so that they each get 40% and Jong-min gets 20% (ah, the fate of the maknae), saying that it’s easier to split this way. No pesky 0.33333% to deal with. Oh, because splitting wishes into 20% increments is any better? This is cracking me up. How the heck are they going to manage this wish?
girlfriday: The minutiae of the tenth of a percentage point is killing me. Notice Ho-dong does all this while firmly holding Jong-min and Su-geun’s hands, like he’s scared they’re going to run away again. So basically the three of them have to agree in order to make one valid wish, only I guess Ho-dong and Su-geun’s votes count for a little more? So the decision has finally been reached, and everyone hugs it out, happy to be done with the heavy negotiating.
javabeans: Su-geun sighs that they wasted one wish, but Seung-gi says that the wish was the cost of their newfound peace. Heh. Is he in full diplomacy mode today, or what?
girlfriday: Lunch time! The boys are presented with three tables — first place is Jeju seafood stew, where they apparently just plop a live octopus on top, right as they serve it, second place is abalone rice porridge, which frankly would be my first choice, and third place is… rice and kimchi. Oh, sad.
javabeans: That is the saddest thing ever. Couldn’t they even get their own kimchi dish? Now everybody’s eyes are on the prize: the huge seafood stew. I think in this show, gloating rights are almost as satisfying as eating rights.
girlfriday: They’re told to pair up according to their unfulfilled lovelines, which just makes me go, awwwwww. The game is a speed quiz, which only Su-geun and Seung-gi are happy about. They seem like the clear winners, if I had to bet. But then Na PD explains that it’s a telepathy quiz, where you can’t use sounds or anything from the neck down to express clues. What? What they supposed to do, eyebeam each other?
javabeans: Morse code eyeblinks? It’s basically eyeball charades. Which means…I have no idea how this works. Why do I feel like this is going to be a game of losing the least badly?
girlfriday: Ji-won and Jong-min go first, and they get through a few pretty quickly, given the limitations.
javabeans: Omg, I’m dying already. The first one is “lion,” and Ji-won does a pretty good imitation of the MGM roar. But Jong-min keeps guessing all wrong, until he tries “dog.” Ji-won shakes his head no, but in my opinion totally cheats because he kind of mouths, “It’s similar” before continuing. Heh. But Ji-won’s actually really awesome at this.
girlfriday: I think “ear” is going to be really hard, but then Ji-won can actually wiggle his ear, so they get that one. But then he gets the clue “double eyelid,” and he makes these CRAZY EYES, to try and make his eyelids more prominent. Pffft! Omg, this is hilarious. He keeps blinking and making that face, and then finally starts to point to his eyes, using his eyebrows!
javabeans: I’m dying. He finally manages by giving Jong-min a relaxed look, and then doing the crazy double-eyelid glare.
girlfriday: I love that one of Jong-min’s guesses while Ji-won was making crazy eyes was “Kim Jong-min!” HA.
javabeans: Next is Tae-woong’s turn to provide the clues to Ho-dong, and he actually does better than I feared, since he’s always the worst with childhood games. He gets through some easier ones like Kang Ho-dong and tiger, but then totally has to regroup to think of how to do “poison.” I love how he finally gets Ho-dong to the point of “It hurts? You eat it? It feels like you’ll die?” and Ho-dong guesses things like “Indigestion?”
girlfriday: He gets so close, to the point that he understands it’s something you eat, and then you die, but can’t somehow put it together.
javabeans: Ho-dong keeps guessing really close, even guessing a different word for poison that starts with the “d” sound instead of the “s.” Omg, and then Tae-woong actually mimes the letter ㅅ, shaking his head and flicking his tongue. Is that not cheating?
girlfriday: At this point it’s a salvage mission, I think. I love how at some point Ho-dong asks, “Is this a word I know?”
javabeans: How did they somehow not run out of time?? That went on forever. My stomach hurts from laughing. OH MY GOD, so Tae-woong asks Su-geun to try the poison clue just so he could see how else to represent it. Mind you, the word (sa-yak) is like the kind of old word used when traitors in the olden days were executed on the king’s orders. So Su-geun goes through this elaborate mime, using only his head, that goes from angry king yelling, to defiant traitor insisting innocence, then drinking poison and dying.
girlfriday: It’s like a one-act play, from the neck-up. Su-geun starts his turn, and as expected, this team rocks the pants off this game. At one point he acts out “pig,” and Seung-gi casually points back at Ho-dong, “Pig?” HA.
javabeans: I can’t believe the producers put “Paris” in there. Su-geun’s eyes bug out (“How to do?”), and then he decides to go for housefly. Oh wait, pa-ri IS housefly, hahahahaha. I see that word and I’m like, Paris! I would fail this game. But worse yet is the next one, “egg.”
girlfriday: OMG, this egg one has me on the ground. He gets Seung-gi up to chicken/chick/hen, but then can’t get him to “egg.” So then he starts trying to mouth the plop, which is confusing of course because you don’t lay eggs with your mouth.
javabeans: I even know the word and I have no idea what he’s doing now. He finally gets Seung-gi to the answer by looking constipated, hehe.
girlfriday: I think the clincher is looking constipated, then looking down (at the imaginary egg he’s dropped), and then looking ecstatic at the result. Su-geun really is the master of charades. He parses a clue into events, making a whole narrative out of one word.
javabeans: But what makes it better is that the next one is “bathroom.” He almost does the same thing, and Seung-gi gets it on first try. They do so well they run out of clues.
girlfriday: Aw, the big eater gets the wimpiest lunch. Ho-dong and Tae-woong have to sit there with their sad little bowls of rice while everyone else gets to dig into Jeju delicacies. Su-geun tries to share his lunch with the others, but is told that that would count as his wish, so he retracts.
javabeans: Now for the actual “waterfall special” portion of the waterfall special. Na PD announces six different waterfalls, which are spread out over the Korean peninsula, and each member will have to head there today. Meaning, they just got to Jeju Island and now they have to fly back to the mainland and go waterfall-hunting. Ji-won jokes, “I’d like my wish to be that Na PD goes away.”
girlfriday: Wow, so they traveled all the way to Jeju… to have lunch? Crazy. Even Na PD laughs as he announces their destinations. Is that a laugh of sadistic pleasure?
javabeans: Na PD also reveals the differing levels of difficulty. A couple are super-easy, meaning you get out of the car and the waterfall is right there. A couple require a simple hour-long hike. And the mother of them all is a three-hour hike to the waterfall (and a three-hour hike back). Ha, nothing on this show is ever equal, is it?
girlfriday: ‘Cause what’d be the fun in that? Also this explains why the wishes were part of the race earlier. Because they’d come in mighty handy now, if you got stuck with the highest climb.
javabeans: Seung-gi and Su-geun both luck out and pull two-star hikes (or, as this show does it, two sad-face hikes). One hour, not so bad. Ji-won gets lucky with the easiest one, to his elation. Now there’s one of each left: easy, medium, hard. Ho-dong goes next, while everyone chants for him to pull Chun-dang, the hardest one…and he pulls Chun-dang and wails. Aw, it’s really not Ho-dong’s day, is it?
girlfriday: Chun-dang means heaven, and Seung-gi says with a straight face about the rough climb to the top: “You might get all the way to heaven.”
javabeans: HAHAHA, Ho-dong decides a wish is in order, but rather than lessening his own pain, he decides to increase someone else’s. He muses, “I’d like to use my 40% to bring Na PD and the main writer with me.” HAHAHA. That includes the main cameraman, so basically, all the highest-ranking producers get to taste a little bit of his personal hell.
girlfriday: Best use of a wish ever. I totally expected him to use it for food, but this is dosing Na PD with a taste of his own sadism. Genius!
javabeans: Using your powers for evil rather than good? In a variety setting, it’s certainly the most entertaining. Su-geun adds, “I’d give my 40% for that,” and Jong-min chimes in, “My 20% too!” I love it! The caption tells us Na PD was scheduled to go to the easiest location today, naturally.
girlfriday: Of course. This is why the wish is awesome.
javabeans: Ji-won surprises me by offering his wish up to the others, telling them that if they want anything, to let him know. I guess he got the easiest hike (car door right to waterfall) so he doesn’t need it.
girlfriday: The boys wonder what they’re supposed to do about dinner games and sleeping arrangements if they’re all separated (they can’t fathom NOT having to play for food and the right to sleep indoors) but Na PD tells them that there are no games tonight. They’re each going on a solo trip, and their only mission is to submit a message and a song to a radio show that evening, about the things they’ve felt and experienced on their own.
javabeans: Apparently one will be singled out (the most appropriate and thoughtful message-and-song combo). The guys are sort of lackadaisical about this task, until Na PD reveals that the winner will get a nice prize: a trip abroad. They all perk up but harbor suspicions — they know to be wary of anything that sounds too good to be true — but Na PD assures them, “This is definitely not a bad thing, at all.” Plus, the winner gets to take along one other person.
girlfriday: But the other person has to be another member of the cast, right? So there’s going to be a whole other drama right there. Ha. They split up at the airport into respective teams, and the main cameraman whines at being dragged along to the hardest waterfall, the full name of which is River of Heaven. “When you get old, those things start to bother you. Heaven? What’s with calling it heaven?”
javabeans: Ho-dong has the longest trip, so he gets going right away, eating dinner (a hamburger) in the bus on the way to Seoraksan. Tae-woong has an hour-and-a-half hike in Jinju, while Su-geun and Seung-gi both arrive at Po-hang in the early evening for their hour-long hikes. Jong-min is the latest to leave Jeju, and has some fun with an old sign engraved in stone reading “women’s baths.” He pretends to be a little boy sneaking a peek over the wall, ha. It’s cute.
girlfriday: He starts thinking aloud about what he should submit to the radio program, and says that there’s one thing he always thinks very earnestly about. The writer laughs off-camera, at the idea of Jong-min thinking very sincerely about anything. But he surprises them by being very open and earnest — he wants to write about his dreams.
javabeans: As Ji-won makes his way to his waterfall, he starts thinking of ways to use his wish, like staying in a hotel tonight or eating a nice dinner. His PD gives him grief, though, laughing, “Are you really going to use your wish on that? For your own selfish interests?” Ha, when you put it that way… It sends him back to the drawing board, but he comes up with an even better wish: For the entire day, let all 6 members eat whatever they want to eat. Aw.
girlfriday: What’s funny is that Ho-dong was forced to eat a hamburger because of time restrictions and complained, but Ji-won pretty much wishes for a hamburger and devours it.
javabeans: That was so true to life! It reminded me of going on trips with family. Us kids always loved the fast food, but to my Dad it was a trial to eat anything other than Korean. Makes sense for the Papa and Baby Bear duo. And I love how they just put in this whole looooong sequence of watching Ji-won eat. Ha. He wished it, it’s on camera! Then it’s Tae-woong’s turn, and he insists on black pig, which is a specialty of his region. He asks the camera, “You said we could get whatever we wanted…Does that include soju?” Ha.
girlfriday: Heh. And Seung-gi almost cries at his king crab, sending Ji-won a big heart and calling him a god. Hahaha.
javabeans: Su-geun goes entirely the other way, and orders a humongous pot…of ramen. He’s eating with gusto, but the captions indicate his crew’s dissatisfaction — like, they coulda had anything, and they have to eat ramen??
girlfriday: It’s so telling, each guy’s choice when they could eat anything they want. I love that Su-geun makes sure to say, “Don’t tell anyone that I used my wish on ramen!”
javabeans: I think I would’ve wanted to eat Tae-woong’s dinner most.
girlfriday: Or Seung-gi’s. But if Tae-woong got soju, then his wins, all the way.
javabeans: But if you could choose anything, what would you have picked?
girlfriday: Seung-gi’s dinner. The size of that crab was ridiculous.
javabeans: Hee, he calls it “The Kang Ho-dong of crabs.” Then it’s time for the guys to all settle down for the night and work on their messages.
girlfriday: Ho-dong starts his message off with another of his signature rambling edicts, and in typical Ho-dong fashion, gets carried away with his own histrionics. “What if they all cry at the first verse?” Hahaha. You WOULD think that. He then switches gears back to 2ne1, with the caption: “Na PD, dance with me.” Na PD hunches forward, his caption: “I’m totally embarrassed right now.” Hee.
javabeans: I think Su-geun comes up with the first real winner of the night. Everybody’s struggling a little to figure out what to write about, and he thinks of his grandmother, who recently passed away. When he was younger, she used to wear a towel wrapped around her head, because she’d rip kimchi with her fingers, put it in his bowl, and wipe her fingers on the towel. He says that back then he was grossed out thinking of how dirty it was, but now that he thinks back, it was the tastiest kimchi he’d eaten, and now he can’t have it anymore. He gets tears in his eyes, and so do I. “I feel ashamed of myself. That was love, but I didn’t know it.”
girlfriday: *Tears* The story is amazing–simple, but so evocative. But what makes me cry is Su-geun’s attempt NOT to cry, on camera.
javabeans: He tries to joke a bit, bringing it back to the task at hand, saying, “This is why people shouldn’t be alone. They shouldn’t feel lonely.” It’s both funny and true.
girlfriday: It’s actually a really poignant thing to say, and it amazes me that being away from each other for a few hours makes all the boys seem so lonely. Aw man, we have to wait for next week to hear their messages! Rats!