EPISODE 360. Broadcast on November 13, 2011.
javabeans: Today’s episode starts off with a whole juiced-up, dramatic intro telling us the theme of the day: Kimchi Road. With all its 200 varieties. You might want to eat before watching this episode, I’m thinking. You know, if fermented cabbage is your thing.
girlfriday: I’m taking out my mom’s kimchi right now…
javabeans: Opening call time is 4am, and the five members go around doing their intro lines in various dialects again. These boys are such dorks. Seung-gi opens by saying that there was a bit of a problem with the last episode, with Na PD wronging Ji-won a bit. He prods Ji-won to tell the story, and Ji-won explains that in the last trip, he’d bragged about filming an ad. After the trip, he’d gotten on the phone with the advertisers and told them he’d talked about them on 1N2D, and they were completely thrilled…until the episode aired and the conversation cut out after mention of Seung-gi’s album promotion. Ji-won half-jokes, “Who edited that episode?! Imma stick to him in the editing room this time!”
girlfriday: Na PD explains that a certain Park PD is the one who makes those kinds of editing room decisions, and then adds that Park PD got married a few weeks ago… and that Seung-gi bought him a REFRIGERATOR. Hahahahaha.
javabeans: I love Seung-gi’s reaction: “Isn’t that what everyone does?” Well, yes, if everybody is your mother, maybe, or your chaebol best friend.
girlfriday: Or the refrigerator’s main CF model, perhaps.
javabeans: Speaking of whom: Why the hair, Seung-gi? How is it that a boy so universally well-liked, rich, famous, and adorable always makes the most questionable hairstyling choices? He looks like a mushroom.
girlfriday: Maybe his hair is his 2%, like that’s what keeps him human like the rest of us. I’d really rather he not look like a mushroom though. Su-geun points out that they’re on their best behavior today and not even complaining about being called to work at 4am… which serves as a segue to then complain about being called there at 4am.
javabeans: Na PD gives them the theme of the day, and Jong-min chimes in that kimchi’s been talked about in the news lately as being good for keeping your weight down, and the other guys look at him in shock: “You watch the news?” He nods, and the caption tells us, “The Man Who Watches The News.” And then he mixes up his words, saying it’s good because of all the E. coli (he meant lactobacilus, the good stuff in yogurt) and the caption amends, “The Man Who Skims The News, Kinda.”
girlfriday: Heh. Na PD tells them that they’ve scoured the country (sometimes I wonder how many minions Na PD really has) and found the best kimchis representative of local regions.
javabeans: I love when they bust out the map, and the caption coincides with their facial expressions, saying, “That Unwelcome Map.”
girlfriday: I hate that map too, because it always means the boys will be split up. Boo.
javabeans: Ji-won: “I think this every time the map comes out, but there’s kimchi in Kyunggi-do too, you know!” Kyung-gi-do being the province surrounding Seoul, which is always conspicuously left off the list of destinations.
girlfriday: Not much of a travel show if everywhere you go is a fifteen minute drive, Ji-won. Seung-gi introduces the first kind of kimchi from the eastern coast in great detail, and they wonder how he knows so much. It’s where his grandma is from, so it’s still the kimchi they eat in his house. Wanting to take another shortcut, Tae-woong asks if they could just go to Seung-gi’s house instead for that one, but Seung-gi hems and haws, “But that’s for me to eat!”
javabeans: He’s not even joking, which is what makes it hilarious. He’s all, “No way, I’m not sharing.”
girlfriday: Don’t get between a man and his grandma’s kimchi.
javabeans: HA. The boys unveil the various kimchis of the day, and they start wondering what the last one will be. Tae-woong watches them laughing and seriously just pulls off the label, negating the whole argument process. Haha. Dude, they’re going on a Gourmet bender today with the music taken from the drama, which I guess is appropriate. Lots of food porn to go with it.
girlfriday: Na PD explains the game that’ll determine where everyone goes — it’s the Bear Foot Game, much like the strawberry game, but simpler because you choose an animal and there’s only two beats. The problem is, saying that animal plus “foot” is a tongue-twister: gom-bal-ba-dak. It’s essentially an enunciation game, and Su-geun tells Jong-min that he’s sure to be eliminated first. Heh. And aw.
javabeans: As incentive to win, the winner gets to designate where everyone else goes. Muahaha, power.
girlfriday: Everyone picks an easy name except Ji-won, who strategizes with an extra tongue-twistery name for himself.
javabeans: You have two basic strategies: Either you pick something super easy so that you can say it (and risk getting called all the time), or you pick something super hard hoping that nobody else will call it (and risk messing up yourself).
girlfriday: I always went with Ji-won’s strategy when playing these games. But damn, his is hard: doh-rong-nyong-bal-ba-dak.
javabeans: How terribly unsurprising that Jong-min and Tae-woong are the first two out.
girlfriday: Su-geun is next to be eliminated, and then once it’s down to Ji-won vs. Seung-gi, they decide to take sides to make it more interesting. Su-geun stands behind Seung-gi, and Ji-won has Tae-woong and Jong-min on his team.
javabeans: Basically Ji-won’s side strategizes with the tongue-twister route, while Seung-gi wants to stick with something easy. Tae-woong suggests a good four-syllable choice, anaconda, but Ji-won’s all, “But anacondas don’t have feet.” Haha.
girlfriday: HA. And then Jong-min does one better – a lizard called mok-do-ree-do-ma-baem. Dude. He’s gotta say all that before the feet part?
javabeans: I think he’s wrought his own demise. Sure ‘nuff, after one round where he and Seung-gi both get warnings, Ji-won trips on his own item and loses. Seung-gi and Su-geun do the can-can dance of victory.
girlfriday: Seung-gi declares that it’d be too obvious if he did the nice guy thing and went somewhere other than the first choice location (which he says everyone’s so tired of seeing, heh), so he chooses basecamp for himself. Then Su-geun pleads with him not to “go variety” and send him to a far-off place just to be funny. He’s tempted, but Su-geun gets to go to the second closest place.
javabeans: He tells the other team to make their appeals to him for which locations they want…by answering the prompt: “What Seung-gi means to me.” Omg, ha. Ji-won goes for outright flattery and says, “Half of me.” Seung-gi is the dongseng for whom he can give everything, he says. Jong-min’s answer? “I like you more than myself.” Aww that makes me sad, even if it’s said for entertainment value.
girlfriday: Aw, Jong-min. I think he means it, which is what makes it sadder.
javabeans: I’m wondering how Tae-woong’s gonna handle this, because he doesn’t seem like the type of guy to flatter. (Maybe Ho-dong, but that’s about it.) So how’s he going to appeal to this kid a dozen years younger than him? He growls out all menacingly, “You’re my dongseng! I wanna go to Tongyeong!” Seung-gi: “And Tongyeong it is!”
girlfriday: Hahaha. You gotta love that Tae-woong sticks to his mat-hyung-ness and refuses to give in, but it should be no surprise that he gets no brownie points for that.
javabeans: So Jong-min loses (having picked Tyrannosaurus and tripped right out of the gate) and gets sent to the location farthest from the basecamp, and everyone splits up to go on their individual trips. Right off, it’s awkward and uncomfortable for Jong-min and Ji-won, who have to introduce themselves and talk kimchi to strangers without anybody acting as buffer. For Ji-won, the caption reads, “Since it’s so awkward, we’ll lay over some music -PD” while goofy music plays.
girlfriday: But once the crabs come out, his eyes grow wide and he starts drooling at the sight of tasty things. Su-geun introduces his kimchi specialist and gets a taste of the kind of kimchi he’s going to make, and seems more in control of the situation, MC-style. Seung-gi shows up to meet his kimchi grandma, and she turns out to be more of a host, and he starts taking down notes like he’s at a cooking class.
javabeans: Well, how is he going to re-create it without a recipe? Tae-woong’s ajumma is the friendliest right off the bat, and she goes in for a hug right away. Heh.
girlfriday: She’d be a fool not to! Tae-woong zeroes in on the persimmons (gahm) sitting amongst the ingredients, and reaches for one, punning that it’s a good thing, since he’s lost his variety sense lately (sense = gahm). Hee.
javabeans: Is it funny or mean to play “Under the Sea” in a show about eating seafood?
girlfriday: Ha. Try not to look at their faces. Tae-woong and his ajumma adorably stroll through the market hand-in-hand, and the caption reads: “Mom and… son?”
javabeans: They arrive at the fish market to an ajumma love-fest. They’re like, “You’re so handsome” and his ajumma replies, all proud-like (as though she’s really his mom or something), “Of course, isn’t he?” Eep, he picks up a little octopus swimming in its pool, and eats it live, its tentacles all clinging to his face. I know it’s a delicacy, but I like my food to be unmoving when I chew it.
girlfriday: Yeah my prerequisite is that it has to at least be dead before I consider it food. They stop for another snack and Tae-woong tries to describe that what he’s eating is tasty, but sighs that he can’t do what Seung-gi does, and mimes Seung-gi’s foodgasm face…. which they edit together with Seung-gi doing the exact same thing, of course.
javabeans: Seung-gi and Su-geun continue with their kimchi preparations and we come back to Ji-won, who is instructed to break apart the crabs for preparation. To his horror, the crabs are still alive and he has this look of shock on his face. He says with a kiddie whine, “I’m scared. I like eating them, but I’ve never done this.” He’s told to cut it in half, but it’s still twitching and he runs away yelling, “It’s alive! I can’t! I won’t!”
girlfriday: Aw, sometimes Ji-won really is a choding. The look on his face is sheer horror.
javabeans: I used to feel bad about the whole process of killing crustaceans to eat until someone told me they’re basically sea insects and don’t feel pain the same way. And I definitely have no problem with killing bugs. Upside: I no longer feel guilty. Downside: I no longer crave crustaceans?
girlfriday: That’s a sad story. I’m with Ji-won: I love to eat ‘em, but I don’t wanna be the one to kill ‘em.
javabeans: Ji-won basically sits himself down in front of the pot of his kimchi-crab concoction, waiting for it to boil. Licking his chops. He finally takes a taste and literally needs a moment to gather himself and find words.
girlfriday: He’s beside himself with the crab love. Earlier the PDs had asked him what his favorite food on 1N2D was, and he had said beef, of course. But he declares that this kimchi crab is now the winner, in all the dishes he’s ever tasted over five years on the show. The caption with a close-up of the crab: “Move aside, beef!” Haha.
javabeans: Seung-gi is busily chopping vegetables for his kimchi, once again proving that cooking, for him, is about math. Apparently the right way to hold the knife is at a slight 3 degree tilt, and he’s comically slow and precise with his chopping, like it doesn’t count if he achieves anything more or less than 3 degrees. HAHA, his teacher says, “People who only follow recipes are people who can’t cook.” Seung-gi shoots her a look of grief, then nods in dismay and agrees to ditch the recipe mania from now on.
girlfriday: Ha. It’s hilarious that he has to be told that he should know what goes IN stuff, but to loosen up when it comes to following instructions to the letter. I don’t think Puppy’s gonna be ditching his wifi and his timer any time soon. I’m not sure he could handle it emotionally.
javabeans: It’s so cute how when he takes a taste (with his trademark o-face), the PDs hint that they want a taste too, and Seung-gi obliges. Then Na PD sneaks in there to add to the tasting party, without a word.
girlfriday: I LOVE it when Na PD begs for tastes of things. It’s karmically satisfying.
javabeans: Aw, Jong-min and his mixed-up language skills. He asks how long his kimchi ajumma was doing this before she got good with the knife, and she replies with an old adage meaning “all my life.” But he doesn’t know the phrase so he just nods, all confused, pretending he gets it. Then he asks if the vegetables are all organic, but he gets the word all wrong so it’s like asking if something’s “morganic.”
girlfriday: It’s funny how Seung-gi’s kimchi teacher is actually really exacting like he is, while Tae-woong’s kimchi ajumma is more freestyle, just like him. He’s grins, all, I like your style. They couldn’t have matched them better, personality-wise.
javabeans: Omg, so Tae-woong’s ajumma starts work on a new batch using little fishies, and Tae-woong picks up one in each hand and makes them kiss. Such a little boy.
girlfriday: He so needs a girlfriend.
javabeans: His ajumma tells him, “It’s cause you haven’t married off yet.” See, the whole country wants him to get hitched! And then he proceeds to play around with the fish while his ajumma explains the kimchi, flopping it around and poking it into the mountain of radishes.
girlfriday: Seung-gi adorably says that his mom’s gonna be mad when she sees this episode, because he’s never once helped her make kimchi. Aw.
javabeans: Ha, Tae-woong’s ajumma pours out a batch of that fish kimchi into a clear plastic container, and Tae-woong says, “Hey, if you put this by your sink in the kitchen, you could watch the fish like an aquarium…” Haha. He plucks two fish from the kimchi and settles them so they’re pressed up against the plastic, and gets them to kiss again.
girlfriday: That’s freaking adorable. He’s like a giant kid who needs somebody to kiss RIGHT NOW. Any takers?
javabeans: Get in line. *shoves fishies aside, presents self for kissing duties*