EPISODE 365. Broadcast on December 18, 2011.
javabeans: The guys are called to to the KBS Happy Sunday offices earlier than usual — at midnight on Thursday (technically Friday). The guys wonder why, and Na PD says it’s because they’re always so tired-looking at the morning 3 am call, having only grabbed a short nap: “So I figured it would be better all around if you didn’t sleep at all.”
girlfriday: That’s SO MEAN.
javabeans: Seung-gi: “And it didn’t occur to you that you could let us sleep in till 8?” Heh. Na PD shares the concept of this trip, which is super-short trips. Like, instantaneous. Ji-won asks, “Are we going to get a look at the afterlife? Is someone gonna die for a short moment?”
girlfriday: Hahaha. It’s so like Ji-won to go to the supernatural explanation first.
javabeans: Na PD is so taken aback at that train of thought he literally just laughs blankly for a few long moments. Although, what did you expect? Flash mobs, I get. Flash…travel? Unless you’re hiding some beamy-uppy machine, I am just as skeptical as Ji-won.
girlfriday: But Na PD explains that it’s a photo mission, as in capturing rare moments that pass by in a flash on camera.
javabeans: That is the worst way to describe a photograph mission. No wonder Ji-won was confused. And no wonder Na PD was confused at his confusion.
girlfriday: This is what happens when you start your workday at midnight. Everyone’s confused. Mission 1: Omega sunrise. Na PD shows them a picture of the sun rising over the ocean, making an omega shape. He says that even pro-photographers chase this moment year-round, and are lucky if they find it once or twice.
javabeans: Ji-won cracks the joke: “It looks like a popped egg yolk!” This mission doesn’t seem to involve a lot of skill, more chance. Given they only have one day to do it, it’s basically you get it or you don’t.
girlfriday: Mission 2: A crane family of four. They’re like, what? How are we supposed to know if it’s a family or just a group of crane friends?
javabeans: Haha, way to get semantic on Na PD. What makes this especially rare is that there are only about 2,000 cranes in the country, and they come out in the winter. Of course, there’s no way to know where they’ll appear, so… good luck with that, guys!
girlfriday: He says they’ll have to wait in a tent till they come, so as not to stress out the birds. Ji-won: “And what about the stress you give to people?” Hahaha. He’s a on a roll today. Na PD just laughs for another extended moment.
javabeans: Ji-won has been rolling with the gags in recent weeks. Tae-woong: “What if I carry it in my arms? Really lightly. You know, like a friend.” HAHA.
girlfriday: What’s even funnier is the way he answers his own question right away all sheepishly, “No, of course that won’t do.”
javabeans: Mission 3: Ducks… in a group dance? Yeesh. I’m trying to recall if Na PD was particularly thwarted in a recent trip, to be making up these missions. This is apparently something that is unique to Korea, as reported by the BBC. Omg, and then the boys demonstrate their idea of a duck dance. It’s their boppy formation for the “Love Twist” performance they did on the Viewers’ Tour. You know, the Macarena’s lazy cousin.
girlfriday: Na PD shows them a picture of the 150,000 ducks, like a giant swarm, and Ji-won suggest that this photograph is easy: just throw some pepper in the air and shoot. HA.
javabeans: Ji-won’s non sequitur: “Wait, ducks fly?” Hehe. Mission 4 is a rainbow.
girlfriday: Seung-gi turns to Ji-won: “Hyung, aren’t you friends with (kpop group) Rainbow?” I would die laughing if these guys showed up at the end of the day with all these semantically-correct photographs just to piss off Na PD.
javabeans: That would make my day.
girlfriday: Mission 5: ocean of clouds at the peak of Mount Taebaek. Dude. And here I thought waiting for the cranes was the long day.
javabeans: Mt. Taebaek is just a bit higher than the Mt. Jiri hike Jong-min had to take recently, which I think took him HOURS. (You know, since Na PD didn’t let him take the paved road like a sane person.)
girlfriday: It would be the coolest of the photographs, for sure, and Su-geun says as much, which the boys immediately jump on, “You can see it if you go!” But Na PD tells them there’s 70cm of snow up there. Su-geun counters, “That’s up to my neck in snow!” Ha.
javabeans: They usually have 5 PDs, but since one isn’t available this time, they’ve found someone else to bring in… Park EP, as in practically the head honcho of their entire department. Oy, that’s a rough trip — taking an insane hike in the middle of the night, with your boss’s (boss’s?) boss.
girlfriday: What’s hilarious is that they ask why on earth he agreed to it, and he just says, “Na PD told me to go!” So, Na PD even bosses around his boss? Not that I’m surprised.
javabeans: Now the boys have a round of flattery-to-get-out-of-this-task, urging someone else to go by pumping him up, as a way to try to wriggle out of contention. The writer suggests Jong-min, and he immediately protests, saying (aw) how he’s lost his knack for variety, and that if he goes the show will go belly-up. Park EP says that he’s most comfortable with Su-geun, having worked with him a long time, and Su-geun tries to get out of it, saying, “Ah, then I guess it can’t be me!” Only to have Park EP counter, “No, that’s why it would be comfortable going with you!” On the other hand, there’s Tae-woong, whom he’s never seen or worked with. Tae-woong says that they have all the time in the world to slowly get to know each other and become friendly — you know, outside of the show, not on the mountain. HAHA. I love how transparent this is.
girlfriday: He ends up choosing his buddy Su-geun (from years of working together on Gag Concert), and Su-geun admits that he left the house tonight thinking that he wanted to go to the mountains. Must be fate. They take off, since meeting at midnight was for the purposes of sending off the Taebaek crew in time.
javabeans: They start the drive, and Su-geun puts on his worried face. They imagine 70cm of snow, which is practically half their height, since one is 164.7 cm tall, and the PD is 166 cm. I love the caption that points out (using an old Korean saying) that they’re essentially comparing the heights of acorns. Hee. And then in parenthesis, caption-writer adds, “(Sorry).”
girlfriday: And then Na PD turns back to the rest of the boys to explain today’s prizes. If they can manage to get all five missions completed, their prizes EACH include: a trip around the world, a top-of-the-line sedan, a 60-inch flatscreen tv, and an 88-pyong apartment in Kangnam. Okay, WUT??
javabeans: Okay, now I’m convinced he designed this to be impossible.
girlfriday: The boys freak out, and Na PD replies calmly, “Because today’s mission is a little hard.” Pffft. Seung-gi says it doesn’t matter if they’d accept the prizes or not; he just wants to see Na PD’s face if they won. You and me both.
javabeans: Now, if they only get four of the five, they still get treated to: A stay tonight at a top hotel, dinner buffet, two-hour spa treatment, and the kicker — a clothing gift bought with Na PD’s own money. The boys crack up, and Ji-won declares that the minute “Na PD’s own money” enters the equation means that this is impossible.
girlfriday: HA. I love that it’s not “Kangnam apartment” that makes him say that, but “Na PD’s own money.” Hee.
javabeans: Oh man. I don’t know what’s better: The “prize” for 3 photos, or Na PD’s totally matter-of-fact description of it like it’s actually a prize, describing their “cold rubdown” as a health benefit.
girlfriday: He does that deadpan delivery so well. He says it’s “an opportunity,” and then adds on an additional prize for if they only complete two missions: a nice warm shot of eel sauce. Goin’ old school 1N2D, eh?
javabeans: And the big one? If they only get one photo… he’ll graciously allow them the opportunity to treat the 80-member staff to the hotel stay, the dinner buffet, the spa treatment… HAHA. Ji-won asks incredulously, “You call that a prize?” Na PD says in that calm dad voice, “Well, I’m sure you’ll all want to have this chance to repay your staff for their hard work.”
girlfriday: Tae-woong actually loses his cool, “I can’t believe this guy! I don’t even want to look at him!”
javabeans: Na PD explains that the cranes will be easy to identify as a family, since they mate for life and are almost always in a foursome. In fact, it’s such a fixture of their species that if they see five together, it means that one of them was a lone child they adopted. They all marvel at that for a moment, then Tae-woong blurts, “But you know, they say lovebirds cheat all the time!”
girlfriday: Hahaha, he says it like a gossipy ajumma, like he’s talking about the neighborhood cheating husband.
javabeans: The captions point out that he sounds like an ajumma concerned for the wounded woman’s plight. He adds, “Seriously! All male animals cheat a lot!” like he’s concerned at the downfall of animal morality. It’s kind of cute, seeing fuddy-duddy Tae-woong all wound up about it.
girlfriday: Jong-min says he really wants to see the crane family, and Ji-won quips, “Ask them to adopt you.” Ha, he’s killing me lately.
javabeans: The guys choose their missions: Jong-min takes the cranes, Seung-gi the ducks, Ji-won the rainbow, Tae-woong the omega sunrise.
girlfriday: Su-geun gets to the base of the mountain and starts his difficult climb up in the snow. He wonders what the boys are doing. Cut to them stuffing their faces with a late-night snack. Aw.
javabeans: That is one mean editing job. Cut back to Su-geun on the mountain, panting up the steep climb, snow crunching.
girlfriday: Tae-woong and Jong-min set out soon after, and Tae-woong looks up omega photographs on his phone. Even Na PD cracks up when he hears one photographer’s description, “you might die before you capture it once.”
javabeans: Tae-woong supposes his likelihood of capturing the photo is 0.5%. Na PD laughs that he guessed lower, 0.1%, and offers that if Tae-woong succeeds, he’ll buy him whatever he wants to eat. Tae-woong replies, “Ha, if I get it, I’ll do the buying!”
girlfriday: Seung-gi and Ji-won are still back at the station, and Seung-gi gets the bright idea to look up how to make a rainbow, rather than chase one down. Ji-won, of course, is already on it. Ha.
javabeans: They find one tactic involving using a spray bottle on a sunny day, and decide to test it out under the fluorescent lights. While they can’t make a rainbow in these conditions, they see enough of a flicker to be excited about their success rates in actual sunlight.
girlfriday: The PDs give them their cameras, and Seung-gi gets an enormous lens, while Ji-won gets a dinky one, so he fires back, “Are you belittling rainbows?”
javabeans: Well, considering how you just faked one…. haha. Seung-gi tries his camera on for size, which looks like some sort of assault weapon, and Ji-won puts his hands up: “I’ll hand it over!”
girlfriday: They go to sleep in the bunk beds where the editors take their naps between all-night sessions, sadly not a new thing for 1N2D. But I guess they’re the lucky ones who even get to sleep at all.
javabeans: The boys each get a guide, and Jong-min hears about crane families from his, while Tae-woong has a photographer on his trip. Tae-woong confirms his suspicions, that on a cloudy day like this, an omega is likely not gonna happen, no matter the photographer’s skills.
girlfriday: Su-geun treks along and sits down on a snow bank for rest, high enough that he says it’s like sitting on a couch. Ha. The scenery really is beautiful though, and his trip seems worth it even if he doesn’t get his instantaneous fleeting whatchamacallit.
javabeans: Tae-woong is ready and waiting for his sunrise, but it’s all cloudy and starts to rain. The hour of sunrise arrives, but… no sun.
girlfriday: I love the way Na PD prompts the professional photographer: “So the mission?” “Fail.” “Officially?” “Fail.” “No matter how you look at it?” “Fail.” Hahaha.
javabeans: Tae-woong flips through his photo log and declares he got one shot. Na PD looks: “But that’s me.” Tae-woong: “Exactly. Your face is an omega.”
girlfriday: Jong-min arrives at the cranes’ watering hole and they see a few families of four circling around, and hurry to set up the tent before they’re detected. And then… it’s a whole lot of waiting.
javabeans: Su-geun is almost at the peak of his mountain, and takes a few practice shots with the camera. He’s amazed at the quality of the picture, which comes from that fancy DSLR camera that makes anything into a thing of beauty. Although, this is a case where you don’t need enhancement; it’s like he’s in one of those fantasy video games. Or anime.
girlfriday: It actually looks otherworldly, like it’s so beautiful it can’t exist.
javabeans: Jong-min manages to shoot three cranes, but then people start to arrive, ruining their chances, and they have to pack up and try another locale. They spot a favorable location and hustle into their tent before the cranes see them, and what results is one of those things out of those farces, where the tent is literally moving with little feetsies poking out at the bottom.
girlfriday: Omg, I’m cracking up. They’re just scurrying along, feet sticking out of the tent. But the birds must find it as ridiculous as we do, ‘cause off they go. Meanwhile, Seung-gi and Ji-won wake up in the morning at KBS, and find it filled with staff. Seung-gi’s like, “There are so many people here, it’s embarrassing.” The VJ points out, yeah, that’s ‘cause it’s 9am on a workday. I love that it’s a foreign concept to them.
javabeans: Su-geun makes it to the top of Taebaek-san, which I just realized means Great White Mountain. I’ll say. Wow, talk about another fantasy-anime scene, with the clouds amid mountain peaks. The rainbow, however, looks to be a difficult task too, because of the weather. I love that they turn to social networking to ask for hints on where rainbows can be seen today, and get a tip: Go to the Music Bank studio, and spray under the bright lights.
girlfriday: They split up and Seung-gi arms himself with the giant camera, suddenly feeling weird about going to Music Bank looking like paparazzi. He acts the part, “Oh look! It’s a singer! *click click click*” and then he pauses, “Wait, do I look like a pervert?”
javabeans: He heads inside and looks at the schedule, and figures he’ll ask SNSD for their cooperation first, and then the Wonder Girls. Oh, okay, no problem — it’s just that easy, huh? Of course, for him it is. And of course, they’re happy to help spray water for Seung-gi on their performance stage while dressed in their show getups so he can photograph a fake studio rainbow. This is so weird.
girlfriday: I love that he knows how weird this is. He’s so awkward.
javabeans: “Oppa’s really sorry, oppa really wishes he could have appeared looking cooler than this, oppa really really needs your help…”
girlfriday: Oppa sounds like a robot. How weird is it that anyone even calls him that?
javabeans: Of all the things he’s worried about, I’m giggling that he keeps mentioning his clothing, apologizing for looking so ordinary. He says it about a half-dozen times. Hee.
girlfriday: Is he this awkward around all girls?
javabeans: He’s waaaaay smoother with the ajummas.
girlfriday: I’m thinking he and Tae-woong are just gonna end up having to marry each other.
javabeans: Seung-gi gets his rainbow (for reference, the girls are Yoon-ah, Hyo-yeon, Soo-young, and Yuri, apparently), and an extra rainbow to boot.
girlfriday: I love that he then mops up the floor like a stagehand. He hugs the Music Bank PD in gratitude, who it turns out was a rookie 1N2D PD way back. How funny, I actually remember him — Ho-dong played this massive prank on him on his first day of work. Meanwhile Ji-won tries to hunt down a rainbow outside with little success, and then lands on a place that’ll provide him with plenty of water sprays: the amusement park. He’s like, we can get a rainbow, then ride some rides… Ha. Spoken like a true choding.
javabeans: Jong-min arrives at location #3 and hurries to get in position unseen by the crane family, and finally gets his shot. Yay! So if Su-geun gets his mountain scene, the boys have managed to evade throwing an 80-man party and drinking that nasty eel stuff. Ji-won arrives at the amusement park, and it’s always hilarious to me how matter-of-fact the guys are on this show, even though they’ve got a massive crowd following them and taking phone pics of the star. He’s all, “Must find rainbow.” They’re all, “Oppa~~~~!”
girlfriday: Back at the ocean, Na PD offers Tae-woong another mission: if he can capture a seagull just as it’s about to lift off and take flight, then he’ll buy breakfast.
javabeans: Tae-woong sees the seagull on a rock and tries to figure out how to get it to move. Oh no, is he about to suggest what I think he’s about to suggest? He asks, “What if… someone…?” What, Tae-woong, throws something at it? Ha.
girlfriday: You know he’s about to say it. But what’s hilarious is that the bird totally gets him back, by taking flight just as he turns his back to ask the question. HA. That’s karma for ya.
javabeans: So he gets another in his sights, but this one’s not budging. Time ticks on, his arms get tired, his hand cramps up… and finally, 20 minutes into the wait, he gets his shot.
girlfriday: Na PD figures that since they have a pro photographer, they might as well get some shots of Tae-woong, and they start their photo shoot: “The Man and the Ocean.” Na PD directs from behind, “Imagine Han Ga-in is right in front of you!” Big smiles. Hee.
javabeans: Omg, they’re so cute. They sit side by side afterward, sipping coffee from the photographer’s thermos, and Tae-woong philosophizes, “Whether the mission failed or not… I’ve gained a friend.” And he puts an arm around the guy’s shoulders.
girlfriday: Aw, no wonder everybody loves this guy. He even scoops him breakfast stew like a hyung.
javabeans: Ji-won has collected quite a crowd on his Team Rainbow, and he jokingly tells them to all disperse in search of rainbows. But of course, they’d rather tag along and shoot pictures of him, and a lucky few even join him on a water ride, promising a waterfall. How like him to ride the entire thing making choding-like exclamations (“Ah! It’s cold! It’s dark! What kind of waterfall is that?!”) Sadly, no rainbows show up in Ji-won’s photo log.
girlfriday: And then he goes on a Small World -type ride, which he calls “The Horror Land of Chucky.” HA. This is why I love you, Ji-won.
javabeans: Dude, Small World can be creepy. Those doll eyes, and the carnival-esque song…
girlfriday: It’s the mechanical movements that do me in. *shudder* But then, suddenly, Ji-won freaks out that he found a rainbow… and there’s a giant decorative one as one of the backgrounds behind the dolls.
javabeans: Something tells me Na PD ain’t gonna accept that one…
girlfriday: I’m thinking there’s gonna be some eel sauce in their future…