Thousand Day Promise: Episode 20 (Final)

106 December 20, 2011January 24, 2016

by javabeans

Blarg$@*&#()$%_)^#*%.

I’m pretty sure this finale broke me. I mean, I knew going in what kind of show it was, but there’s a difference between having the detached knowledge that you’ll cry and actually sobbing out a river of tears.

The show bowed out at a series high (19.8%) after flagging a bit in recent weeks — most likely because people were eager to find out the answer to the big question: Did she die? Would a miracle save the day? Sad ending, or happy?

SONG OF THE DAY

Shin Seung-hoon – “처음 하는 말처럼” (Like Saying it for the First Time) from the drama’s soundtrack. [ Download ]

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FINAL EPISODE RECAP

Seo-yeon’s illness has progressed to the point where she’s like a toddler you can’t let out of your sight, as Aunt learns when she goes grocery shopping, turns her back for a second, and finds Seo-yeon gone. She runs through the store looking for her, then heads outside, panicking. Aunt calls her husband and Myung-hee, who both drop what they’re doing to join the search.

It’s Myung-hee who spots Seo-yeon just as she’s about to board a bus. When asked where she’s going, Seo-yeon says, like a child, “Home.”

Myung-hee first scolds, but gets no response out of Seo-yeon. She softens her tone and asks, like a teacher asking an errant preschooler, what she was intending to do.

Seo-yeon remains expressionless all the way home, sitting by like she isn’t hearing a word, except that she is — when Myung-hee grips about buying handcuffs, or a rope to tie her with, Seo-yeon suddenly hits her in the back, angry. She glares and shoves Myung-hee, then storms off to her room. Aunt chides Myung-hee since they both know Seo-yeon hates being treated like a helpless idiot.

Aunt finds Seo-yeon looking at her reflection in the mirror, lucid again, speaking in her normal voice. She asks, “Aunt…who is she?” Aunt’s heart breaks as she realizes Seo-yeon means the mirror, and she barely holds it together to explain that Seo-yeon’s seeing herself, reflected in the glass.

Ji-hyung narrates to us that Seo-yeon’s condition is worsening so rapidly that even her doctor is startled. Sometimes she sleeps all day, some days she stares at the same page for hours. We see slices of what it’s like living on edge, with every little thing capable of setting off Seo-yeon’s temper.

It’s like she still has the emotions of an adult, but the expressive capabilities of a young child. The dichotomy is ever-present — she’ll do something strange, like trying to drink soup with chopsticks, or trying to wear a sweater as pants. But the moment she’s corrected, there’s a flash of lucidity as she realizes this is more evidence of her deterioration, and the only way for her to react is to lash out — by throwing something, or hitting something. Ji-hyung describes it as an explosion of anger from deep within, from the person who still remembers that she’s Seo-yeon.

Aunt has noticed that she gets worse when Ji-hyung isn’t around, which means that pretty soon he’ll have to stop going into the office and work from home.

He picks up Ye-eun from his mother’s house, where the three ladies — Mom, Aunt, Hyang-gi — are doting on her. Ji-hyung’s uncomfortable around Hyang-gi and keeps a stiff distance. She, on the other hand, is quite at ease with the baby and assures him that there’s no need for him to feel awkward, because she’s met someone she wants to date. He visibly relaxes.

As they’re heading out, though, Hyang-gi’s parents pull up in their car and immediately size up the situation. Mom throws a fit — and we’d expect no less — about her moronic daughter lying so she can sneak over here and dote on her ex’s child. Hyang-gi begs Mom to listen, that both Ji-hyung’s mother and he have discouraged her, but that she comes because she wants to see the baby.

Hyang-gi’s father steps up to take a calmer approach, asking for his cooperation regarding Hyang-gi. Ji-hyung assures them that neither of them are doing anything to cause concern, and they grudgingly agree to trust him on that.

At home, Seo-yeon becomes lucid in the middle of watering houseplants, which she’s done clumsily, resulting in a living room puddle. She grabs a rag and starts to sop it up, apologizing to Aunt.

She says it feels like Ji-hyung has run away, and Aunt assures her that he’s just at work, and due home any minute. Can’t she remember? Seo-yeon says, “I can’t remember.” Then, brightening, “No, I do remember.” Then, deflating, “No, I don’t remember.”

She can’t remember Jae-min oppa coming by yesterday, either, and asks Aunt, “I’ve become really dumb, haven’t I?” She confides that there are times she feels absent, or not herself.

Ji-hyung comes home, and Seo-yeon greets her baby with a friendly but detached “Hi.” While she rests, he talks with Aunt, who confesses the events of the day in a scared voice — how Seo-yeon disappeared in the supermarket, how she was about to board a bus, how this is new behavior for her. But worse is the bit about not recognizing herself in the mirror. Aunt sobs and asks why this is happening so fast.

That evening, he gently reminds Seo-yeon that she can’t go out alone. It’s difficult to watch him trying to prevent future troubles, because lucid Seo-yeon understands all the words he’s saying, and knows she’s not supposed to leave the house by herself. He even wrote her a reminder note on the door, reading, “I don’t know my number. I can’t leave the house.” She says that Aunt always tries to cover the note when they go so she won’t feel bad, which is sweet.

He asks, “You love me, don’t you?” She asks, “Does it not seem like I do? Does it seem I’ve forgotten I love you?” He answers, “No. I just wanted to confirm it.”

Seo-yeon: “Even if I forget other things, I won’t forget that. Don’t worry. Park Ji-hyung, my husband. Ye-eun’s father. The person who loves me terribly, the man carrying a cross up a mountain.”

He entreats her not to give up, because it seems like she has decided to let the inevitable happen. She says that she has, that she’s tired. It’s exhausting trying to hold on to herself when she just loses hold in the end anyway. Refusing to give up doesn’t mean the outcome will change.

He begs her to try, because every day is precious. She starts to cry, saying, “I want to, but I can’t do it. Even if I clench my fist, I slip out between my fingers.” They sob to each other, “Sorry,” over and over.

Aunt chatters on the phone with a friend, and asks if she wouldn’t be interested in dementia insurance — you never know. She perks up at the answer — her friend will? Six people? It’s hilarious how she gets right on the phone with Jae-min to tell him to send out an insurance rep from his company.

She freaks out to see Ye-eun missing from her chair, and sighs in relief when she sees Moon-kwon has her. She chides, saying she thought some baby-thief had come by, and he jokes at the ridiculousness of that.

But in the next room, Ji-hyung deals with a different sort of thief — the imaginary kind, who Seo-yeon is convinced is stealing her clothing, one by one. She won’t budge from guarding her wardrobe, insisting that if she leaves, her clothes will get stolen. She whispers, “That ajumma outside will give them to her daughter.” Oof. Ji-hyung raises his voice, upset that she could say that about her own aunt.

He holds her face in his hands, leans in, and tells her firmly that she’s Lee Seo-yeon. He repeats facts to her and she cries, “I’m Lee Seo-yeon — who says otherwise?”

He barely manages to convince her to go out with him on a drive, and calls Jae-min to act as driver. She doesn’t recognize the road that should be familiar, but puts a positive face on and asks for kisses.

The drive takes them to the old resort they used to meet at, where the three now lunch together. She’s cheery, until she asks how Ji-hyung knows this place and he answers that they came here a lot in the past. She tries to act like that doesn’t matter, forcing a smile.

After lunch, Seo-yeon walks alone while oppa and Ji-hyung walk along behind her. Ji-hyung tells him about Seo-yeon briefly not knowing Aunt, and Jae-min says there have been a couple time where he’d wondered if she didn’t know him, either. Ji-hyung feels like it’s not far off before she’ll forget him, too.

Seo-yeon waves Ji-hyung over with an excited smile, and he comes jogging up to her. She declares, “I just had the thought. I want to die when the cherry blossoms fall. When the flower petals fall like snow, it’s sad and beautiful.”

Ji-hyung changes the subject, not showing a reaction, and she comes away with him giggling, like she hasn’t just punched us all in the gut.

That evening, Ji-hyung hears Moon-kwon and Aunt’s horrified shouts, and comes out to see Seo-yeon holding scissors over the baby. She looks up at them wide-eyed, wondering why they’re so fussed — she just wants to give the baby a haircut. It looks ugly: “Like a dummy.”

Ji-hyung agrees that they’ll redo the baby’s hair tomorrow, but at the salon. To everyone’s relief, Seo-yeon accepts that answer and hands over the scissors. Maybe she has a burst of lucidity, because she barks at Moon-kwon for yelling, then refuses Ji-hyung’s attention as Aunt packs away all the kitchen utensils.

But this calls for more serious changes, and Ji-hyung’s mother sits with Seo-yeon to explain that she and (Ji-hyung’s) Aunt will take care of the baby. Seo-yeon is welcome to come by whenever she wants to see Ye-eun, or they’ll bring her over. Seo-yeon sits quietly, head bowed, saying she understands they’re afraid that she’ll make bigger mistakes.

Moon-kwon sobs his goodbye to the baby, promising to tell her lots of stories about her mother in the future. Gah, why is it that Moon-kwon brings tears to my eyes the fastest? It’s teariest for him, but I think saddest for Ji-hyung, who has to give up raising his own child, for the benefit of both mother and daughter.

When it’s time for Ye-eun to go, Ji-hyung calls Seo-yeon over, and she pats the baby’s cheek. She says, “Bye, take care.”

Ji-hyung sends his mother off, then comes back inside to Seo-yeon sitting there. She hadn’t watched the child go, and he notes that this was the first time Seo-yeon had touched the baby, or said a word to her. Seo-yeon smiles up at him; he says, “My wife smiles, but for what reason, or with what meaning, I don’t know.”

Time passes, and Seo-yeon gets worse.

At the dinner table, Seo-yeon looks up at Aunt and Uncle sitting across from her and asks, “Ajusshi, who are you and why are you at our dinner table?” Uncle looks stricken, but Aunt takes this in stride and explains everyone’s relationships clearly: I’m Aunt, this is my husband, your uncle, the father to Jae-min and Myung-hee.

Ji-hyung catches her talking into the mirror, asking the girl inside to come out: “Come out. I have no friends. Come out.”

And then she pushes away from Ji-hyung and asks “ajumoni” (Aunt) to get rid of the strange man in her room. Told it’s her husband, she asks, “Am I married?” Seo-yeon takes this in, and then turns to Ji-hyung, suddenly back to normal: “Aren’t you going to the office?”

Then while watching TV, she asks why there are so many people in their house.

Finally, Seo-yeon goes on a rampage, tearing down all the reminder notes in the house, screaming, “Burn it all!”

Ji-hyung narrates that now, Seo-yeon is not herself for large stretches of time, lost in her head.

When Myung-hee brings her a nice new sweater, Seo-yeon slaps her and calls her a mean, bad girl. Who knew I could feel so sorry for Myung-hee — especially when she chokes back tears and says, “I was wrong, I know that. Forgive me.”

More silent heartbreak when Seo-yeon asks who the other ajusshi is, and Jae-min cheerily identifies himself as her cousin. Now all men have become mere ajusshis, and all women are ajummas. Even Ji-hyung has become an ajusshi to her, although she understands that he’s her caretaker. The only person left in her memory is Moon-kwon.

And then, another panicked phone call. Seo-yeon has disappeared, from home this time. Unlike last time, she didn’t just wander off accidentally; she must have known the code all along and used it to get out.

The family tears through the neighborhood looking for her, while Seo-yeon stands at a clanging railroad intersection, the arm down as a train approaches. Oh god, drama, you’re not going to go Anna Karenina on us, are you? I swear, if you do…

She steps forward toward the speeding train. Alarmed strangers hold her back, and the family picks her up at the police station.

She gets more violent in the coming days, and tries to attack Aunt in the house. She injures her arm in some unnamed accident.

Ye-eun has grown into a toddler by now. Ji-hyung’s parents think it’s time for him to turn Seo-yeon over to health professionals, but he refuses, saying he’d promised to care for her till the end. They back down, not having expecting him to agree.

It’s also time for Seo-yeon to start wearing diapers, as Aunt hesitantly suggests to Ji-hyung, citing a few close calls. He brings it up, and recognizing the diaper seems to bring Seo-yeon back for a moment, even if it’s through rage. She screams that she’s not a baby, that Lee Seo-yeon has no need for these things.

But that night, Ji-hyung wakes up in bed alone, and when he bolts out to look for her, he finds Seo-yeon fumbling with the diaper, trying to put it on over her pajamas. He breaks down and holds her, telling her she doesn’t have to do it. And she just stares blankly as he sobs.

The picture freezes on that expressionless face and greys out. Fade to white…

And then we open at a gravesite.

Ye-eun’s walking and talking now, perhaps 5 or 6, and comes with Dad to set flowers at Seo-yeon’s headstone.

Ji-hyung kneels to tell Seo-yeon that they’re here, and says chokingly, “I’m still…” As in, I’m not healed yet. I still love you. I’m still with you.

JAVABEANS’ COMMENTS

Well, on the upside, it’s over.

I’ll be honest: I did not enjoy this ending. Or this show, for much of its latter half. I won’t go as far as to say I regret watching the show, because there were lovely moments in it, and watching Su Ae deliver a powerhouse performance was worth the pain. Maybe barely.

It’s not the death that bothers me, since that possibility was on the table since Day 1. It’s not the sadness of the premise, either, since clearly I knew what I was getting into. I’ve enjoyed melodramas in the past, and some tearjerkers are actually sort of refreshing to cry along to — not fun, necessarily, but there’s a sense of emotional payoff and gratification when you have a moving story.

What makes this drama a frustrating experience (aside from the cluttered writing) is that it follows a single line: Downward. No twists, no arc, no message. It’s a single-entendre show, and as eloquent as the dialogue could be, as wonderful the acting, as warm and inviting the characters like Jae-min and Moon-kwon, it was designed to show you a depressing story, for no purpose other than that it could.

I had hopes that this show could explore something interesting with its premise, like maybe memory or identity or the value of living on a ticking clock. Like Scent of a Woman, or 90 Days Time To Love, or The Letter. What would we take away from the story of a woman given an unfair, heartbreaking Alzheimer’s diagnosis just when she should be starting her life, family, and career?

And sadly, I don’t think there’s much I get out of this show other than some great acting. It wasn’t just a downer, it was a downer that deliberately withheld hope or any sort of uplifting message. She got Alzheimer’s, she gave up, then she died. The end. That sort of pisses me off.

GIRLFRIDAY’S COMMENTS

I don’t mind a dark story, so I’m okay with the trajectory of this show being downward, since that’s kind of inevitable given the premise. What I do think was wasted in the finale was the chance to leave Seo-yeon’s mark on the world with her writing, or give her one, JUST ONE meaningful connection with her daughter. Really just one would’ve gotten me in the heart and done the job.

This is the one episode where I didn’t cry, which is really odd, and also kind of deflating, since I bought the jumbo pack of tissues and all. But maybe it’s because by the finale Seo-yeon has already checked out, so I have no connection, just lots of pity. When the show managed to hit those family connections, it was amazing, but it wasted some big opportunities for that in the final episode, which is really a strange choice, given that it’s what I felt was the whole point of the series. Perhaps the only such moment for me in the finale was the one line from Ji-hyung, noting that everyone had faded in her memory except for her brother Moon-kwon. Portrayed in a dramatic way by Seo-yeon herself would’ve really killed me, and satisfied some of my need for that heart-tugging connection.

The ellipsis to her already being dead is the same – I’m here knowing that death is how it ends, so why rob me of that heart-wrenching moment, and my chance to be with Ji-hyung, or Moon-kwon, or Aunt when she’s gone? I really, really did not expect that my bone to pick with this drama would be that it was not melodramatic enough in the end. I mean, what? I didn’t need for her to live, or to magically be cured of Alzheimer’s. But I wanted her to have her final moments with the ones who have faithfully loved her and stood by her side. I don’t care if it’s movie magic to give someone a final moment of lucidity before death. Give it to me anyway. It’s what dramas are for.

All that about the final episode aside though, I did really like the show as it was going, and loved its portrayal of a prickly heroine and the amazing people who love her. I just wish we got the emotional payoff for being as faithful to the show as they were to her, because I feel (to borrow a metaphor from Flower Boy Ramyun Shop)… emotionally constipated. I’m proud of Ji-hyung’s stalwart love, and her family’s too – I just wished I got taken along for that final lap, ’cause I was all ready and willing to go.

106

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51 Rachael

December 21, 2011 at 11:13 AM

I get the feeling this would've been a better finale if there had been one more episode so it wouldn't have had to squish it all into this as it seems really rushed towards the second half of this episode. Otherwise thanks for recaping!

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CutieJamaican

December 22, 2011 at 8:13 AM

@ Rachael... I think the original ending changed.

I think she was supposed to jump from the balcony and commit suicide. The PD team decided against it because the audience would find that too hard to handle and they learned their lesson from City Hunter where they had to give a press conference to explain why the prosecutor died.

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Cynthia

December 22, 2011 at 7:22 PM

Sorry, but the ending didn't change. TDP ended the way the writer wanted it to.

As of last mid-summer, the FCC? (Korean Ethics Board) determined that no K-drama could depict suicide in the story content. To do so would have the production censured and fined. Suicide is a big hot-button issue in Korea. 49 Days received a warning and got fined for the attempted suicide scene (hanging herself from a rafter - all that was shown was the noose.), so there was no way that TDP would have her commit suicide.

As for the City Hunter conference - it was called by the PD because many viewers were puzzled by the last scene, and the PD clarified that the City Hunter was alive.

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CutieJamaican

December 26, 2011 at 5:02 PM

@ cynthia... The PD did hint at suicide of the lead fromher balcony and for City Hunter the prosecutor was killed. I know Korea has among the highest suicide rates in the word and I wonder if the censorship is relatively new. Suicide was shown explicitly in What Happened In Bali"

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52 aardvarksmile

December 21, 2011 at 1:31 PM

Actually, I liked the ending. Life is about living and not about making any statements or leaving an impact. Well, you're lucky if you do make one.
What strikes me most is the way of showing how the illness won over SeoYeon: She had desperately wanted to have the baby and be a mother to it but we never got to see any emotional bonds between them. Or actually any feelings of SY to her daughter. This is to say how Alzheimer's takes a person away.

As for dementia patients, their life is tragic, but at least they do not realise how much of a burden they become to their families. Of course, their families love them and therefore the take care of the ill, but nevertheless it's heartbreaking to see them becoming kind of soulless bodies. It must be very difficult to see them for who they used to be. I think it might be an interesting point in this drama - how did Ji Hyung's feelings change, evolve? Because I cannot imagine he loved Seo Yeon the same way as he had loved the outspoken, proud and independent woman. To which point did he see her as woman? On the other hand I guess it must be terribly difficult to express it.

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53 korazylady

December 21, 2011 at 2:13 PM

Thanks, Javabeans for your dedication to this drama and excellent recaps. I had to read episodes 19 & 20 before watching the subbed version (I couldn't wait and also I needed to prepare myself) instead of after. I do feel a little let down, and am hoping it won't take away from the love I feel for this drama. In a way I'm not surprised, due to the "realness" of TDP, that it ended this way, and I'm hoping that once I actually watch it I'll be loving it as much as ever. It was a great journey here on DB.

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54 JD

December 21, 2011 at 4:49 PM

For this sort of drama to miss putting in a highlighting theme or message, I'm just... speechless.

I'm going to run off now and forget this drama. Ha ha, get it?

But seriously, at least A Walk to Remember was a lot more fulfilling and hopeful than this D:

Great acting though. I luff Su Ae so much!

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55 Susan

December 21, 2011 at 5:12 PM

looks like I'm in the minority when I say I didn't mind the darkness of this drama or its depressing tone at all. Nor do I see why every drama needs to have some kind of message.
I can't say I'm a fan of this drama, and I hated Ji Hyung for most of the drama (it doesn't help that I don't like KRW much either) but I think I'll always remember Lee Seo Yeon and Soo Ae's fantastic portrayal of her. I'm not a fan of this writer, in fact I really hated some of the dialogue, but Soo Ae made it less painful to sit through.

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Susan

December 21, 2011 at 5:13 PM

Oh, and thanks for the recaps =) I always enjoyed the recaps more than the actual episodes.

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56 gingganggolli

December 21, 2011 at 9:28 PM

whew! I'm half dead after reading the recap. Its just piece and pieces but goodness it breaks my heart!

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57 Amber

December 21, 2011 at 11:19 PM

I really wanted to watch this, but couldn't. My great-grandma had Alzheimer's. I appreciate your recaps because I could enjoy the story without being a mess. You could sort of say mine was one of the last faces my grandma recognized. She thought I was my mother.

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58 fallingstar

December 22, 2011 at 2:08 AM

I'm not a fan of the drama but I much preferred it from Scent and 49 Days. Those two were so hamfisted in the "message" they wanted to deliver, it just made me chuckle at the fumbling nature they did it in.

At least in this one, it played it straight. No inane happenstances, no last-minute revelation, no watering down of the illness. Depressing? Yeah. Refreshing? In a drama? GOD YES. Sorry, I don't need a hammer to be bopped on my head as a drama tries to deliver (and usually terribly) it's preachy message about living your life or whatever. Maybe dramas are supposed to be escapist and more fantastical but there's every other drama out this year for that kind of..well I won't say it. That this drama played it true has my respect for it.

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59 CutieJamaican

December 22, 2011 at 7:55 AM

I am sorry. I am forever the cynic. He was at her grave side with the daughter HE WANTED TO ABORT and she had TO FIGHT to carry.

You can stop now Ji Hung. Your self inflicted punishment is over. But that little girl will be a constant reminder of who you are as a man. A weak pathetic loser!

It is no surprise that her dear little brother was the only person she kept in her memory because HE was the ONLY person besides herself that she TRULY LOVED.

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60 Venus

December 22, 2011 at 1:36 PM

Thank JB and GF for recapping the drama, you guys really rock.

I knew that this drama wasn’t going to be our typical drama, since the premise was “Girl has Alzheimer” however, through it all I was expecting something more. The first 10 episodes of the drama were solid but the last 6 were just pitiful to say the least. I felt like the writers had no idea what to do with the rest of the story since SY was married, people knew all about her disease and had a baby in the process. There was no conflict at all; the conflict was to see YS down spiral till the end. The other characters were just standing there watching, yes they couldn’t do anything about the decease, but I would like to see how YS decease had an impact in their own personal lives, instead we get nothing. Also, I would have love to see an interaction with her daughter, since YS was abandon by her mother, I would have like that on those moment where she was lucid she could have bonded with her.

The other thing that really bothered me was the manner that YS Alzheimer progression was portrayed, at the beginning it was ok, she forgetting her keys or her shoes, but latter on it felt like her progression was on speed dial or something. It really wasn’t very realistic; I wish the writer could have done more research on the topic. The end was just too fast one minute she gets lost the next she is on diaper, which was a very sloppy approach.
I Give the Acting an A plus..I think the whole cast did a great job and try their best with what they were given. However as a whole this drama was 7.

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61 Ngan

December 22, 2011 at 1:57 PM

I liked the ending because its realistic. We all want a happy ending for SY because it gives us hope that people can miraculously survive Alzheimer. It makes us feel safer, but that is not reality. Theres no way SY could have release a novel because by the time she realized she had Alzheimer, she was struggling to remember simple things, let alone the story for her book. Also, for me, I don't think she gave up. Its not like an athletic event where the person is able to win just through willpower. The disease ate away everything that she had: Her pride and willpower. Thats not her fault. Like, SY, I have a lot of pride in my ability to be independent. If I found out that I was slowly losing myself and that I would have to depend on people all the time, I would've went crazy. I just don't think its fair that people say she just gave up. She fought her best, and she lost. Its what happens in life. For me, the theme of the story was how far love can go. Its also about being grateful for what we have now because one day, it might all disappear. Just my 2 cents.

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korazylady

December 22, 2011 at 10:02 PM

Totally agree.

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62 gretac

December 24, 2011 at 5:21 AM

Wow: One of my favorite dramas, including the ending. Early on in the show, I thought: kdrama grows up! Finally: no ditzy-cutesy female; no callous male; no evil seconds with their manipulative machinations; and relatively mature responses to the situation from reasonable, caring humans actually trying to act like adults in their better moments (well, Hyun-ah sure was a histrionic-narcissistic mom, but even she didn't follow through on her more dire threats, which in a lesser drama would have become a major plot interference). Thought this was amazingly well written, directed, and of course acted. The writing was both intelligent and heartfelt – I'll definitely check out other dramas by this writer.

Re: people's responses to SY's “giving up” - as I recall, that was a phrase JH used in his desperation, that SY responded to, saying she was so tired – that's part of the disease, too. Exhorting her to not “give up” is a way of pretending that she has control over something that we absolutely do not have control over – a form of denial of the inexorable nature of the illness (so far, unless/until a cure is found). When people thought we were seeing her “giving up,” what we were actually seeing was a symptom of the progression of the disease. There's no way to keep at bay, through trying hard, the consequences of having your brain shrink up like a walnut. I also liked the montage of events in the last episode, which took us through the many hazards of the progressive disease without angst-ing over every event – I think that helped to portray how, in living with Alzheimer's, there are too many of those to continue angst-ing over every one: caregivers learn to deal and move on.

Back to the ending – to me it felt soft and highly fitting to the issues being addressed in this drama. I so much appreciate the unflinching honesty, sincerity, and sensitivity with which this portrayal of life with Alzheimer's was handled. To have had an impossible “moment of lucidity,” deep connection with her infant, acclaim for a novel, etc., would have been highly dishonest and a disservice to all of the people who have been through this situation with their loved ones. For those who felt the ending was hollow and didn't have enough “meaning,” I would suggest that the drama did an excellent job of evoking in us the truth of living with Alzheimer's, which hollows out and strips lives of meaning. (I'm also remembering how “hollow” was used throughout the drama, as YS repeatedly anticipated becoming a “hollow shell,” which we perceived in her increasing blankness.) Alzheimer's is arbitrary, inexorable, cannot be argued with, and cannot to be prettified to make it palatable. Again, I think a 'feel-good' ending would really dishonor those who live and have lived with Alzheimer's – both patients and caregivers. It doesn't feel good in real life: why should something so terrible be given entertainment value in order to allow viewers be able to continue in our denial? I don't think drama about a topic like this should foster escapism and denial: I think communicating truth about life includes conveying truths we would otherwise wish to ignore – which are all part of life, too. Maybe that's a difference between a show that strives toward being art more than/rather than mere entertainment.

That said, I don't think the drama was meaningless! I also felt kdrama had grown up in this one because of the subtle ways in which the “message” was presented. The meaningfulness and after-story were woven throughout the entire length of the story: e.g., the insightful journal/letter to her child that SY had been writing on computer would clearly provide some understanding later in Ye-eun's life; Moon-kwan had promised Ye-eun the infant that he would tell her all about her mother - these provided foreshadowing of ongoing love and memories. Correspondingly, the gravesite scene implicitly gave us the back story of the ongoing love and memories since SY's death: Ji-hyung's taking his daughter to her mother's grave clearly had been ongoing several years later, YE clearly expressed love for the memory of her mother and watchful concern for her father, JH clearly was “still” honoring her memory. The portrayal of JH's love transcending the illness is poignantly presented in the very last line of the drama, which also is accented as it then pans to his memory of the joyous YS welcoming the falling snow. I don't think we need it all spelled out: we can connect the dots ourselves. Just as in real life: we don't get the meaning of life delivered to us in obviously-orchestrated sequences of events emphasized by pithy sayings. Rather, we extract our own meaning from the events and conversations that become significant to us out of the matrix of all the mundane events of life.

So: best wishes for all that makes this season of life meaningful to each of us! i.e., Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Winter, New Year to everyone!

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Mina

December 28, 2011 at 1:20 PM

Thank you, I totally agree. I'm very grateful that Kim Soo Hyun stayed true to her message until the end.

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malta

December 28, 2011 at 5:18 PM

Wonderful comment. Totally agree. I think some of the hopeful clues to the future people might have missed because we're so used to being hit over the head with them.

Happy New Year also!

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63 divyrus

December 25, 2011 at 12:45 PM

First of all thanks to jb and GF for telling us, me about this drama and for the recaps! I never would have watched such a drama of it were not for this site.
This drama scared me at first and my stomach twisted everytime su yeon realized her mistakes early when she had no support.
I loved all side characters, but I just wish su yeon got more time with the side characters instead of just Ji hyung.
The ending could have just been more slow and everyone's life after hers. Not even in writing, just knowing how her life had made a mark at everyone's life.

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64 korazylady

December 27, 2011 at 8:31 PM

After reading the recap, I thought I would be disappointed with some elements of the ending, but after actually watching the subbed episodes I have to say this was not the case. From the start, the writer said this was a story of a man's love and devotion to a woman losing her memory, and I felt it stayed true to the writer's intention. It was well written, well directed and well acted in a very mature, direct way. It was the emotion throughout the drama that resonated with me and I felt it delivered to the end (JB, how could you not cry at this episode? I was a sobbing mess!) This was a gem of a drama, the best I've watched so far, and I am fine with the writer giving her audience enough credit to be able to accept the ending without having everything tied up in a neat bow. It made it seem all the more real and poignant.

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65 malta

December 28, 2011 at 5:11 PM

So just finished the finale. The last two episodes were difficult to get through, but I felt that the grave scene made it a little easier to swallow.

People shouldn't feel her life/illness and the drama were for nothing. How can that possibly be? I liked that there was no happy montage at the end, but maybe that would jog people's memories. Seo Yeon worked till she couldn't anymore. Her work is still out there in the world. She married the man she loved, had a child and made a family. Her husband and child will remember her and miss her and so will the rest of her loving family.

Seo Yeon's life mattered and it's sad and tragic the way she died.

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66 Madelene Casareno

January 30, 2012 at 11:01 PM

This will convert to reopen a bronchiolar [u]levitra what is it used for[/u] of subsensitivity in the blood.

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67 Peggy

February 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM

I have not yet seen the final episode but I expect what is to come. I have truly loved the way this drama has been presented. Ms. Kim is to be honoured for the way she has used words and phrases for the amazing dialogue here.
I was immensely interested in the penultimate episode tonight by the way the director used his camera shots. The diminishing sizes for some of the scenes which matched the dialogue. The fog that she felt, and the light mistiness in the picture. Things like that have to be well thought out and most of the time it is not bothered with in drama.
I did not expect any writing or journal to be attempted by Sayeong. She is already two years at least into the illness before we first see her. Her dreadful headaches indicated to me at least, that she would not live a long life but would rapidly deteriote mentally. There was nothing I could see in any negative way this drama was produced. The writing was superb and the direction was clever and in sympathy with the subject. The cast was incredible and every one of them must have felt great stress emotionally don't you think? The actor playing Moonkwon is obviously going to be so good as he goes on with his acting career. Park -- -- -(?) is even better than his older brother I think.

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68 Lilian

March 28, 2012 at 10:09 AM

Hmm...I don't like time jumps too. I loved Scent of A Woman's Ending. It is the same in that both have incurable disease and will surely die , just a matter of how fast. But here, it was ineffective. The part with the scissors really killed me though!

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69 Linh

May 13, 2012 at 12:33 PM

I cried like crazy reading the recaps. I might die watching the drama. This was upsetting and moving. I'm almost mad at myself for reading the recaps because now I'm just depressed. Must watch something happy...

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70 Ariani

October 15, 2012 at 2:42 AM

Like Hollywood movie, The Notebook, this drama makes me once again promise myself, that I would do anything in my capability, about this devastating disease, would it be research, caring the patient, or else..but I'd do something about it. I won't let this disease win.

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71 fan25

February 4, 2013 at 9:53 PM

i watched the whole 20 episodes and i do agree the last episode, her death could have been better. compared to other movies and shows, like The Notebook, concerning the topic of dementia , it was okay , but it all and all made me cry.

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72 GB

July 5, 2013 at 3:23 AM

Being a an ED and Home health nurse,this case came close to me as I have seen patients with this illness.
All viewers as much as possible want a happy ending. But in reality, a person with Alzheimer's disease never gets better but instead will die. There are different degrees of this disease, but the worst kind is when they are detached with reality.The awareness this movie had shared was,this disease can inflict anyone at anytime regardless of age,economic standing or race.

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73 pyromaniac

July 3, 2014 at 10:46 PM

I can't believe it. I am only reading this recap now and I am so touched that my eyes were watering. I am afraid to actually watch the drama.

Thanks for the recap ~!

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74 rue

March 12, 2016 at 11:22 PM

I just finished watching this episode and I'm honestly just bummed out. I knew there wasn't going to be a happy ending, but I feel robbed as a viewer. What happened to the letter she was writing to her daughter? How did she die? How did her loved ones cope? I'm never going to get answers to those questions. I thought the Gu family book ending was the worst ending in the history of show endings but this is way worse. Her father died, her mother left, she got Alzheimer, she died. then end. Just wrong

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