EPISODE 387. Broadcast on May 20, 2012.
javabeans: None of the boys got to see much in the way of dolphins last week except Shi-kyung, and his view was from a helicopter, but right off the bat it looks like Attempt No. 2 is more successful.
girlfriday: We get a recap of Shi-kyung’s discovery, and then we catch up to the boys resting at basecamp.
javabeans: I always love the really boring shot of the boys resting at basecamp, because you always think of movie and pop stars getting all this luxury. But on this show, they get a floor, and if they’re lucky, a blanket. And they’re totally happy with that.
girlfriday: It’s the genius-simple concept of the show. Make them GRATEFUL for that blanket! They wake up for dinner games, and Seung-woo asks if Tae-woong’s face is okay like that. Pan over to Tae-woong, who has full-on lobster-sunburn. Oh noes. He has a drama to finish!
javabeans: He jokes (in his newly discovered deadpan voice, which I love), “I had a drink.” Cut to: an Equator Man scene of him drinking with frenemesis Lee Jun-hyuk. His makeup noona must’ve earned her pay that week.
girlfriday: Can you just imagine the staff when he shows up to set for the finale? Your star comes back looking perpetually drunk?
javabeans: Maybe they can work it into the plot. The revenge drives him to drink. It’s self-destructive revenge, in a more literal way. They make their way to the game grounds, where there are eight chairs set up. First off, eight? What is this, reverse musical chairs where your butt has to occupy TWO chairs? Second, the seats are vaguely thronelike in appearance, and have words written on them. “Fool, hero….” Oh this should be good.
girlfriday: HAHAHA. Jong-min goes and sits down in the Idiot Chair, literally, without prompting.
javabeans: Aww. Poor Jong-min! He’s the butt (hur hur) of the joke before the joke is even in play.
girlfriday: So it’s a True/False game, and it’s eight chairs because there’s a four-person limit for either answer. The PD will ask a quiz question, they each choose which side to sit on, and then the winning side gets… ONE BITE of food. Dude.
javabeans: I think one bite is WAY better than one second, which they’ve done. Although one second is funnier. OMG, I love how they get the first question, and both Tae-woong and Joo-won coincidentally start to get up, BY GRABBING onto Seung-woo in the middle, which sends him crashing back to earth. Rewind, replay.
girlfriday: Hahaha. Poor mat-hyung. No respect. So the first question is whether all the figures on Korean money are from the Joseon dynasty. Each side is given a table with a dish. True gets four spoons, and False gets… jajangmyun?
javabeans: I’m thinking both Shi-kyung and Joo-won picked True, which means it’s probably true. Is that why False has to eat jajangmyun (aka the messiest food ever) with their fingers? But no, it turns out to be PLASTIC.
girlfriday: OH. It’s fake! Shoulda known.
javabeans: On the winning side, Su-geun, Shi-kyung, and Joo-won take appreciative bites of ther rice and fish, while fourth winner Seung-woo complains that the fish is too small.
girlfriday: Next question: Rodin’s The Thinker leans on his right hand. Oh, this one’s hard. Is it left?
javabeans: It’s hard because you’re like, “Oh of course it’s __.” And then you think again and are confused.
girlfriday: It’s an endless second-guessing kind of loop. It turns out Right is right. This time there are only three members on the winning side, and immediately Seung-woo asks (from the losing side) what they’re gonna do with the fourth spoon of food. Su-geun decides to use his power for laughs, and tells the losers to each do something funny, and they’ll give the bite to the winner. It’s evil but awesome.
javabeans: I love it because the other guys are in the middle of suggesting a plain ol’ round of rock-scissors-paper, which is much less interesting. Now it’s a test of, “How much do you really want this?”
girlfriday: HAHAHAHA… and then not two seconds after the words come out of his mouth, Seung-woo does this wave? arm-dance-thingy? that is just priceless. Everyone dies laughing, and then just to be an ass, Su-geun gives the bite to Joo-won anyway.
javabeans: It’s hysterical because it has no explanation. It’s just a weird-ass gesture. And it gets Seung-woo so riled up to see that humiliation for nothing. It’s like he did it JUST for the Seung-woo outrage, which makes feeding Joo-won purely incidental, and not the big prize.
girlfriday: After one round that’s pure chance, the next question is whether Seung-woo’s sitting height is taller than Joo-won’s. I love that each of them chooses the answer that means they’re shorter, while the rest of the boys mull it over and try to gauge obvious expectation (that Joo-won would be taller) vs. the banjun result (that somehow Seung-woo is taller from the waist up).
javabeans: I love that both Joo-won and Seung-woo aren’t even sure which answer would be better for them. Like, if Seung-woo ends up being taller sitting down, is that a new complex to worry about, that his torso is freakishly tall? Or if Joo-won’s is unexpectedly short?
girlfriday: Seung-woo is cracking me UP today. He goes to sit for the measurement (back to back with Joo-won) and digs his head into his shoulders till his neck disappears. They’re like, hyuuuung, it doesn’t count if we see two chins! They finally force him to sit up straight, but Joo-won is clearly taller anyway. It’s kind of so obvious that they seem silly for thinking otherwise.
javabeans: Even when they do the straight-up measuring against the chair, Seung-woo’s trying to scrunch over and down. It’s like, does he go for pride to try to seem taller? Or does he go for the spoonful of food and try to go shorter? I love that he chooses food. Tae-woong has this hilariously dry way of saying, “And…. of course Joo-won’s taller.”
girlfriday: Then why did you pick the wrong answer? For the next round they give the boys a grade school P.E. book (why do you need a book for phys ed?) and they have to guess whether the random page they open to has ten or more people on it. It’s down to Su-geun and Shi-kyung to pick sides, and Su-geun totally convinces Shi-kyung to join his side, purely so he can steal the last spot on the other team. Ha.
javabeans: Hee! He’s so shamelessly sneaky. He’s arguing all convincingly, “In this book, there are lots of scenes with more than ten people, to show all the different heights and exercises, and [crosses line, sits with opposite team ] there are totally not going to be lots of people on that page!”
girlfriday: It works to his advantage, ‘cause they win, though it turns out to be a stroke of luck, since most of the pages actually do have a bunch of people on them. While they wait for their spoonfuls to come out, Su-geun suggests an individual game–they each open the book to a page, and the person who gets the highest number of people gets forehead flicks from all.
javabeans: Ha, they get super nitpicky, arguing that the faces on the computer screen (“cyber friends”) count too. And in Su-geun’s there’s an illustration of a baseball game (HA), and they argue that the tiny dots count.
girlfriday: LOL. What goes around comes around. Now they get all petty and insist on counting the stadium seats in the background as like thousands of people and it turns into a fight. Shi-kyung starts counting, and Tae-woong shouts, “That lady is pregnant!” So she counts as two?
javabeans: Tae-hyun argues that Su-geun is counting unfairly, because there’s an illustration of one boy doing an exercise, showing two positions, so it looks like a siamese twin (two heads, one lower body) and Su-geun counted him twice. Talk about petty.
girlfriday: I love that they’re both acting it out, Tae-hyun insisting it’s one boy (swings left and right from the hip) and Su-geun says it’s two boys standing behind each other, and positions himself behind Tae-hyun like a pair of crazy clowns.
javabeans: Tae-hyun ends up losing, and sits in the hot seat for his forehead flicks. Shi-kyung says, “Oh, he has a great forehead shape. Lots of room to flick.” Joo-won presses his palm to Tae-hyun’s forehead, saying that warming it up makes it hurt more. Ha.
girlfriday: Joo-won flicks and Tae-hyun immediately jumps up and grabs him by the collar for revenge. Seung-woo and Tae-woong get all giddy, planning their synchronized flick-attack, but it looks like Shi-kyung and Su-geun are the true pain-givers.
javabeans: Are they really playing hackeysack with a weed?
girlfriday: Haha, Su-geun is on a roll with the random games tonight.
javabeans: Turns out it’s pretty hard to play hackeysack with a clump of shrubbery (who knew?) and three is considered a safe number. Some only get in two kicks, but when it’s Tae-woong’s turn they’re all, “I bet he just gets one.” Surprisingly he gets in three kicks—seriously, who thinks he’s been practicing in his spare time? I bet he has a whole “How To Improve on 1N2D Regimen” that he works at in his free moments. Which Seon-kyun designed.
girlfriday: For some strange reason, the funniest one is Jong-min, who gets in like 11 kicks. Is it just that the norm is reset to two, so doing better is actually the funnier result?
javabeans: Joo-won loses, and omg how cute is he, huddling and scrunching up his face like a little hedgehog? How is he badass freedom fighter Gaksital? Everyone aims at him at once, delivering a six-way simultaneous flick.
girlfriday: This is totally like a slap bet.
javabeans: It totally is. We just need some porno misunderstandings and maybe a ‘90s music video featuring Joo-won Sparkles.
girlfriday: And a flick bet commissioner. Joo-won gets the better deal: all in one blow, rather than torturously spacing it out with anticipation and fear.
javabeans: The food dish finally comes out (oh right, that), which either means that it was really fancy and took a long time to prepare, or the producers were huddling behind the cameras going, “No, wait. Stay back. Let’s just see what happens” like an episode out of Animal Kingdom.
girlfriday: The next round involves an operation-like game where you stab a little man and then his head pops off. (Is this a game for children??)
javabeans: I’m trying to figure out the purpose. Is it Stab the Pirate to make him leave his barrel, or is it Stab the Pirate to kill him? Either way, I’m not reassured.
girlfriday: The team round goes by fast, and then the PD suggests an individual round, where the one who kills the pirate gets to eat. Su-geun the gamemaster adds that the person who catches the decapitated head should also get to eat.
javabeans: Again, not reassured. Joo-won kills the pirate, and everyone makes a grab for his wee little body. Why is this a game? Why is it so engrossing? Editing can do anything, I swear.
girlfriday: Seriously. And contagious game stakes — they play like their lives depend on it, which makes no sense, but we get sucked in anyway. Pwahaha, they go back into the room and Tae-hyun gives Tae-woong a potato facial for his sunburn. Su-geun watches and then does the comedy version, grating a potato over Jong-min’s face. Ha.
javabeans: Afterward, they head back outside for sleepytime bokbulbok. Bird PD starts out by saying they’re picking out the two maknaes, Joo-won and Jong-min. But Jong-min counters that he and Shi-kyung are actually the same age, and there’s a brief pause to digest that, then Bird PD says, “Sung Shi-kyung-sshi seems like the hyung.”
girlfriday: Hahaha. So they pick teams and Seung-woo doesn’t want to be the last one left, so he appeals to Jong-min, his new buddy… who totally rejects him. Aw.
javabeans: Did he actually reject him because of his appeal? I think he went for the comedy reaction, hahaha. The two teams rock-scissors-paper for last pick Seung-woo, and Joo-won wins. But as Seung-woo moves to join their team, all happy, Su-geun interrupts—they haven’t decided whether to keep or leave him! HA. Poor Seung-woo, he’s just Punchline Seung-woo today.
girlfriday: So he joins Joo-won’s team and then Bird PD tries to explain the three-legged race they’ll be running, but trips up on the words, or the math, I’m not sure. And Shi-kyung quips that he’s the Kim Jong-min of the PD world. HA.
javabeans: DUDE. They should totally have ditched Seung-woo. One team has to start out with a 3-legged race that turns into a 4-legged-race, while the other has to do 4-legged into 5-legged version.
girlfriday: It seems like a foregone conclusion, but then they run the race, and it sort of ends up a dogfight anyway, and the bigger team is slower, but stronger. They totally knock Jong-min’s team to the ground and beat them back to the finish line.
javabeans: Hahaha. The more-legged team has to figure out how to walk to accommodate everybody’s legs, but the lesser-legged team ends up with its outer runners just basically carrying along middle guy Tae-hyun. They’re doing the walking, he’s literally just hanging in there. Haha, is the next game Suck and Blow? Are they Clueless fans?
girlfriday: Omg, are they really making seven guys play suck and blow? We’re having them make out? For a game?
javabeans: Someone’s gonna end up passed out from hyperventilation, I swear. And I’m half-expecting Tae-woong to lose on purpose just for his bro-kiss.
javabeans: Omg, and it totally happens, and on the very first one! HAHA. It’s in the hand-off (er, kiss-off?) with Seung-woo, though I’m totally thinking it’s Seung-woo’s fault ‘cause HE’S TERRIBLE. He seems to have trouble with the whole transition from sucking to blowing. Did I just say that?
girlfriday: I… just can’t even believe what we’re seeing and saying.
javabeans: Tae-woong has this totally insane pose through the game, where he literally holds his partner like he’s in a kiss scene with them. It is the STRANGEST image. I totally think Joo-won’s cheating by biting the paper, but who cares about Joo-won at the end of the line when Seung-woo is holding up the line at the very first position? He’s so slow that they move him to second place, and then he almost kisses Su-geun! There is a common denominator here.
girlfriday: Either Seung-woo wants kisses, or he’s a terrible sucker. Er…
javabeans: The lesser-legged team (Tae-hyun, Shi-kyung, Jong-min) end up winning this game ‘cause they blow harder, so the two teams are tied.
girlfriday: You just can’t even accuse us of being gutter-minded when a show thinks to have seven guys playing suck and blow. Come on. It’s clearly a setup for smooches!
javabeans: The next game calls for someone “Who could use some facial treatment.” Turns out this entails slapping on one of those face masks (the kind made out of fabric-like paper)… and then trying to get it to fall from your face through wiggling your face muscles. HAHA. That’s pretty funny. It’s Jong-min versus Su-geun, wildly contorting away. It’s pretty hilarious.
girlfriday: It’s so simple and yet hysterical. Jong-min’s starts to look like the Scream mask after a while.
javabeans: I love the look on Jong-min’s face the moment his mask falls off, in the split-second before he registers it and is still contorting. But the losers call foul, saying Jong-min used his tongue and breath, so a re-try is set up with new players. This time it’s Shi-kyung versus Joo-won. I’m betting on Joo-won, who seems like he’s more willing to go full-on crazy to win.
girlfriday: Haha, he screams, “Gaksitaaaaaal!” with his mask on.
javabeans: Why not get in some drama promo, AND tie it into your Bridal Mask character? I love how it fits. Joo-won does in fact win, so Tae-hyun slaps the pack back onto Shi-kyung’s face: You’ve got it, might as well use it.
girlfriday: So Joo-won’s team wins tent sleeping rights, and then Bird PD tells them that breakfast will be at sunrise… which is in like three hours. They have ten minutes to wake up and eat, before the food gets taken away. Damn.
javabeans: And he even presented it like a boon, saying that there’d be no breakfast mission. Semantics. The boys wash up and settle in for the night, and in the morning—5:47 am, to be exact—the crew deliver breakfast right to their beds, as promised. I’m pretty sure there’s a saying for this situation, something about one hand giving, the other one taketh away-ing.
girlfriday: I guess there was an advantage to sleeping out-outdoors, because they’re the only ones uncomfortable enough to wake up, while the tent crew misses breakfast entirely.
javabeans: Awwwww. ‘Cause there was no morning bell today. So sad. As a joke, Tae-hyun puts his empty tray in front of the tent, and Joo-won wanders out wondering who ate their breakfast.
girlfriday: He totally eats the leftovers! Man, what this show does to people. The music turns sad and the captions label him a beggar. Seung-woo just watches blankly, like his soul has left his body in the night.
javabeans: Then it’s to the ocean for more dolphin-sighting. Joo-won’s team heads out in a tiny boat, while Jong-min and company look out over the water from a pier. And then… a few days later? I guess the mission must’ve been a bust.
girlfriday: Oh so Tae-hyun arrives by himself to try and find the dolphins, with a plan for another member to come the next day, and the next day, until somebody can find them.
javabeans: Today it’s Indiana Cha (so-called because of his vaguely adventure-seeking attire), providing “after-service” shoots, which sounds, um, not right. I love that it’s Tae-hyun alone on camera, because you know he knows he has to make airtime interesting, and you can see that in his interactions, but there’s also this thing of “Hm. What should I do? This? Or this? Let me try this.” It’s like a ten-year-old documenting his life with a hand-held camera. He explains the schedule, with every cast member on standby for the ensuing days, ending with, “But they’re all hoping I find them.”
girlfriday: He heads out on a tiny boat and they circle for a while, until the guide gets a call. The dolphins have appeared!
javabeans: Hehe, Tae-hyun has a mock captain’s log. Today’s entry? 12:50 pm, set out to find dolphins. IT’S COLD!
girlfriday: He does manage to make the most mundane things funny. I love his excitement when they finally get to the dolphins. They swim right up to the boat and he’s so giddy.
javabeans: He’s swimming with the fishies! But not in the bad way. They literally surrounding the boat, jumping all around him, and he adds, “Frankly I’m starting to get a little scared…”
girlfriday: Well if you didn’t know they were dolphins, they look an awful lot like little sharks if you just see their fins passing by ominously. The PD tells Tae-hyun that his camera can go underwater and he’s like, “You’re telling me this NOW?” They chase down the dolphins to get some underwater shots, which are pretty cool.
javabeans: Oh wow, they’re really cool. Once you get past the part where all the rapid motion makes you want to vomit.
girlfriday: The amazing thing is, they really do seem like they’re playing with the humans, and following the boat on purpose ‘cause it’s fun.
javabeans: It’s a good thing dolphins are cute. Because otherwise, that would be super creepy. Especially knowing how smart they are. Tae-hyun sends Su-geun a video call from the boat, since Su-geun’s next on the dolphin watch schedule, and it’s cool to hear Su-geun reacting on speakerphone to the image of the dolphins in real time. Now this is where technology gets cool, rather than just shoehorning in a CF where you don’t need one.
girlfriday: Rooftop, we’re lookin’ at you?
javabeans: DUDE. I’m totally not getting a Samsung Galaxy Note, on principle.
girlfriday: Haha. We close on some pictures of the trip and smiley dolphin faces. Until next week!