EPISODE 392. Broadcast on June 24, 2012.
javabeans: New episode, new trip! I’m not sure anything can live up to the epicness of Tae-woong’s wet-T-shirt pelvis dance in a busy intersection, though…
girlfriday: Ah, fond memories. It’s the public humiliation that seals our bonds.
javabeans: Isn’t that always the way?
girlfriday: They start the opening by the ocean (always a bad sign) and they congratulate Jong-min on getting his first solo advertisement in his 12 years of being a celebrity.
javabeans: Aww. The odd thing about this show is that he’s not my favorite variety performer, but I just love him as a person, and that makes me like him more as a variety performer even when he’s being awkward and bumbly, because that’s his charm now.
girlfriday: Yeah it’s like he finally broke through to the other side of the fourth wall. Now he’s just himself, and even if that’s horribly awkward, it’s so lovable.
javabeans: Seung-woo says that he wants to show his “true self” starting from today, because you could say he’s been wearing a mask till now. And I’m like, if you were gonna pick a mask, wouldn’t it NOT be the blind, old, cranky guy? I’m both wondering if it’s true that he has a different “real self,” and wondering if he just thinks that’s not really him.
girlfriday: I feel like he just off-the-cuff said that to make up a reason why he’s not wearing his trademark glasses today.
javabeans: His trademark lensless glasses that help him be less blind in no way?
girlfriday: Maybe he ought to just embrace the bifocals.
javabeans: So it looks like dinosaurs are the theme of the day, based on the little teaser. The intro noted that we’re heading 100 million years into the past.
girlfriday: Bird PD says they’re going to a little island where there are dinosaur footprints preserved in the ground. Joo-won: “Dooly?” You would say that.
javabeans: Isn’t that Tae-woong’s line?
girlfriday: Oh no, he’s rubbing off on the others! Haha, I like that everyone’s stumped on how this is possible, and Tae-hyun gives the simple explanation that the dinosaur just stepped in the cement before it dried.
javabeans: The island is only home to 20 inhabitants, which, whoa. So the 100-member staff of the show is being reduced to 50 today, which is still more than double the population. How do you even live in a place with 20 people? Where do you get your… things? Clearly I was never a Scout.
girlfriday: Who could you possibly date? Would everyone on the island be your relative? What if you didn’t like any of the 19 other inhabitants?
javabeans: Or do they all make a pilgrimage to the Big Land upon adulthood to find a mate, then bring ‘em back?
girlfriday: This is why we live on large land masses, where you can go to stores to buy your things, and the dating pool goes beyond your immediate family.
javabeans: The Grid is my friend.
girlfriday: So Bird PD says that all the heads of each department get to go home after the opening and the members all sigh jealously. Su-geun: “Do any of us get to go home too?” Even their managers and coordinators get sent home, and Su-geun says they can’t leave those kids alone — last season someone’s coordi would date someone else’s manager, and then run off to get married and stuff like that.
javabeans: Ha, cute. Beats island dating. The members are told to carry their own bags, which brings out a round of Seung-woo ribbing, ‘cause he apparently can’t dress himself without help. They’re all, just pretend you’re a filial son helping dad.
girlfriday: Shi-kyung is silent but deadly — says nothing all opening long, and then lands that line about Seung-woo not being able to dress himself. So funny. They each go to pack their bags, and it cracks me up the way everyone’s coordis have packed and labeled each outfit for every occasion, like these guys are seriously incapable of dressing themselves.
javabeans: They get on the boat and immediately declare hunger. Bird PD says that they won’t starve, and Tae-woong says suspiciously, “You’re going to give us radishes or something, aren’t you?” But no, it’s a utensil game, with various spoons and chopsticks tied to strings, gathered together, and then the boys have to choose a string and deal with that utensil. Ha, I wanna see somebody eat with one chopstick. Or the soup ladle. Ha, why am I not surprised that unlucky Tae-hyun gets stuck with the teaspoon?
girlfriday: That’s gotta be the worst one. It’s neither a chopstick nor a whole spoon. They decide that the spork is the number one choice, because it’s got two functions. Ha.
javabeans: I was ready to say the teaspoon’s tied for worst with ladle, until Bird PD explains that the lunch bokbulbok involves arriving at various destinations where lunch is awaiting, and then being given time limits within which to eat. At the first destination, the boys rush the first lunch table (time limit 30 seconds) to find… a bowl of rice, a bowl of soondubu (tofu soup), and kimchi. Ha. Joo-won ftw, with his ladle! Everyone else is fighting to shovel food into their mouths, and Joo-won just takes a huge scoop and eats off to the side, away from the furor. The contrast is hilarious.
girlfriday: Haha, that ladle’s big enough that he can take some to-go, after the time limit. It’s strange that he wins everything food-related. I don’t think he’s ever had to suffer and starve yet.
javabeans: I know, right? I want to see how he handles it. Will there be whining? The second table features pork belly on a grill, and the two most fortunate are Joo-won (who just scoops up a bunch at once) and Seung-woo with his chopsticks. Poor Tae-hyun, who didn’t even know what Meal 1 was because he got so little of it.
girlfriday: At least they each have their own bowl of something this last round. It’s noodles (with sauce, not soup) so this time Seung-woo and Su-geun (with his baby chopsticks) have the advantage.
javabeans: Omg, Lunch 3 is cracking me up. Tae-hyun is shoveling the noodles in with his wee little spoon, and because it’s rice noodles, they’re all clumped together, allowing him to actually eat a bunch. When time is called everybody still has a clump in his mouth, and they madly try to eat it without losing any while running back to the boat as Bird PD calls out, “The boat is leaving now.”
girlfriday: Haha, is Jong-min trying to Lady-and-the-Tramp the other side of Su-geun’s noodles?
javabeans: HA. They were told they can’t help each other, but they can “steal.” So when Jong-min shows off the bit still stuck on his fork, Tae-hyun grabs it and eats. Su-geun notes aptly, “This is fun, because we’re so hungry and desperate.” The bedrock of 1N2D, yo.
girlfriday: Seriously. Always better when they’re desperate and starving.
javabeans: Speaking of which, they take a tour of the island and see the dinosaur prints, and then come to the beach. It’s raining and the weather is sucky, which Seung-woo notes is prime for immersion punishments. Which apparently this crew hasn’t done yet. Can that be true? In any case, hungry Seung-woo’s all, “Let’s go in the water in exchange for chocolate bars.” Ha. How far they fall, and how fast.
girlfriday: It’s crazy that this cast hasn’t ended up in the water yet. Doesn’t feel right.
javabeans: They’ve done water slaps and water fights, but I guess no full-body water-immersion punishments.
girlfriday: They make a circle in the sand and decide that the first person pushed out of each round ends up in the water.
javabeans: HAHA, in Round 2 (Joo-won’s eliminated first), everyone decides to team up against Tae-hyun, who madly clings to Jong-min’s leg and cries out, “Whyyyyy? What did I do that was so wrong? WHY ME?”
girlfriday: Hee. He’s like, “I don’t even like chocolate!!!!!” It’s amazing how long he manages to cling upside-down to Jong-min’s leg.
javabeans: Oh man, in Round 3 Shi-kyung finds himself the target, but he’s so massive that they can’t get good leverage on him, especially the way he maneuvers on the ground, keeping his center of gravity low, and in the end they give up and go for Seung-woo instead. He gasps for mercy and asks Su-geun to save him (by sacrificing himself), but Tae-woong quips, “[Seung-woo] Hyung, you’ve lived a good life.”
girlfriday: Hahahaha. Poor mat-hyung. He’s not even old, but being the eldest makes him the butt of all the jokes. And they’re all funny. Ha, at one point the tide turns to Jong-min as the target, so he lies down on top of Seung-woo, and they look like they’re about to make out.
javabeans: Then Tae-hyun (who’s out) decides to play spoiler, and he and Joo-won (also out) circle the circle, looking for ways to make themselves useful. Finally they see an opening: Tae-hyun kneels, making himself the tool for the others to push Jong-min out.
girlfriday: And then of course, as soon as Jong-min is out, he calls for one more to join them in the water.
javabeans: I love how they start attacking Shi-kyung, and Seung-woo hangs back, joking, “No, I still want him to like me.” Then Shi-kyung is forced out and Su-geun’s like, “One more!” Are they just angling for group immersion?
girlfriday: They’re totally gonna end up just jumping in together anyway, aren’t they?
javabeans: Su-geun asks Seung-woo basically, You want US to push you out, or you wanna go out?
girlfriday: I love the peanut gallery, led by Tae-hyun, chanting that they want to see him be ousted pathetically.
javabeans: Well, he asked for it. He’s the next to be tossed out, leaving Tae-woong and Su-geun victorious, and then come the cries for one more loser. This time it’s a wrestling match to decide the winner. Dude. Why do I feel like Tae-woong’s going to rip his pants?
girlfriday: Seriously. And then in a surprise twist, Su-geun wins. I guess Tae-woong’s muscles really ARE just for show.
javabeans: The go in the water in order of how they lost, so Joo-won’s up first and does an energetic reverse dive. Is it me, or do I see everyone mentally buzzing through all the ways to do better? Ha, then Tae-hyun runs up to Joo-won and hugs him, and Joo-won just tosses him in the water.
girlfriday: I love Jong-min’s cartwheels into the water, which do nothing but slow him down. Seung-woo does a pretty awesome feet-first plop that makes a huge splash. But then he can’t stand anymore after it. Ha. Su-geun tosses everyone’s chocolate to them, and then joins them in a cheer and backwards flop into the water. As soon as they get up, Seung-woo’s looking around frantically, “My chocolate! Where’s my CHOCOLATE?!” Why is that so funny?
javabeans: Because losing chocolate after all that is so tragic and tragedy is funny? Shower time! Dude, Joo-won’s beauty routine is way more complicated than mine.
girlfriday: Haha. Why am I not surprised? And why is it that when you just put all the boys in one room, they always pile on top of each other like a litter of puppies?
javabeans: Omg, Joo-won falling asleep on Seung-woo is the adorablest thing ever. He’s sleeping with mouth open like a baby, and totally out while all the boys laugh at how much like a baby he looks, and Seung-woo is pinned to the ground like Mom not wanting to wake him.
girlfriday: Oh my god. He’s a tiny baby! A BABEH!
javabeans: It’s the open mouth that slays me. Like, you could put a pacifier in there and I’m sure he’d latch on.
girlfriday: It’s maybe the cutest thing ever, but also blowing my mind.
javabeans: Dinner is making me drool. Is it an all-sushi menu? I’m salivating.
girlfriday: Yum. With such a lavish dinner on the line, this game’s gonna be near impossible or something. Okay, so the PD breaks them up into three teams and puts 30 minutes on the clock. All three teams have to succeed in their missions for them to earn the whole dinner. Su-geun and Tae-hyun get the villagers task: they have to draw names from a bowl, containing all 22 people who live on this island, and they have to win three consecutive rounds of rock-scissors-paper with the people they draw. Dude. They have to go FIND these people where they live?
javabeans: I know there are only 20 of them, but… it’s still a full island! For Shi-kyung, Jong-min, and Seung-woo, the mission is jump-rope, soccer kicking, and jaegi (hackeysack).
girlfriday: Oh man, I think their task is hard, but then Joo-won and Tae-woong get to the foot of a hill and they’re told that they have to do a relay quiz… where you have to run to the top to answer each question. And they have to get two consecutive answers to win. That seems unpleasant.
javabeans: It’s a general knowledge quiz, like “Who said, ‘I think therefore I am’?” No luck there. The upside for the villager hide-and-seek is that once they find one resident, she can direct them to the right location.
girlfriday: Man, their mission seems the hardest. At least Tae-woong gets his quiz answer easily, but I worry about Joo-won.
javabeans: The tough thing about everybody’s mission is that they have to be done in consecutive order. One task, sure, easy. But three in a row? Eeek. For instance, the guys win the first rock-scissors-paper bout with villager 1 and then run to find villager 2, with whom they get a tie. But the PD declares that a failure, since the task is to get three wins in a row. Damn, they’re being hardasses this time. So they have to pick more villager names, to start over.
girlfriday: Aw, poor Shi-kyung, who’s the first leg of his mission. I think he’s double-jumping rope about a thousand times.
javabeans: Oh no, Joo-won gets his question, and before his time is even over, he turns around and runs back down the hill, saying, “We’re in trouble.”
girlfriday: Ruh-roh. It’s funny that they have the opposite problems: Tae-woong is huffing and puffing up the hill but gets the answers, while Joo-won races up and has no idea.
javabeans: The exercise team is in trouble too. Nobody can kick the soccer ball 10 times in a row, which means that Shi-kyung is jump-roping a zillion times in Round 1, then having to repeat when Round 2 fails. They should have just made soccer ball Round 1, but I’m not sure that was an option. And then when Seung-woo finally succeeds at soccer ball, Jong-min has to repeat 10 times with the jaegi.
girlfriday: Can we stop to discuss the absurd length of Seung-woo’s pants when he hikes them up?
javabeans: What, like ajusshi sweat-bermuda shorts aren’t all the rage?
girlfriday: They start out in some uncomfortable hotpants territory. I mean uncomfortable for us.
javabeans: Thankfully, that team is first to win… until Yoo PD argues the validity of the very last kick. Really? That’s so mean.
girlfriday: Aw man! Jong-min’s last kick goes face first, then foot, and they call that 9 kicks, not 10.
javabeans: How can Joo-won not know what UN stands for? HAHA. He runs down the hill yelling, “Hyung, your turn!”
girlfriday: He says it all full of aegyo with a smile, and Tae-woong barks, “Why are you so happy about it?” Hahaha. Su-geun and Tae-hyun are scrambling for time, but they stop to ask one ajusshi for directions, and he moves like molasses. The looks on their faces are hilarious, like, can we… maybe… just move a little faster, sir? But they’re trapped.
javabeans: Why do I feel like everyone is starving tonight? The rock-scissors-paper team loses in the last round and has to start over, and the exercise team loses in the last round and has to start over. But YAY, Joo-won finally gets a question right (about the World Cup) and Tae-woong gets a Nietzsche question right, so they win!
girlfriday: Thank goodness for that. I dunno why it cracks me up so much, but Tae-hyun keeps going back to molasses ajusshi for directions, and I die laughing every time.
javabeans: Oh thank god the exercise team wins, finally. By the way, winning teams are given a hint, which they then have to solve, so the game’s not over yet. Tae-woong and Joo-won’s prompt is about Shi-kyung’s weight (what’s the first numeral in his weight) and the others get something of an analogy diagram.
girlfriday: What, this isn’t over?? I can’t believe they made the clue-getting missions so hard!
javabeans: I’m getting hungrier and hungrier, just thinking of how hungry they are.
girlfriday: Oh no! They get SOCLOSE to winning three rock-scissors-papers in a row, and then lose on the third one, to none other than molasses ajusshi himself. Hahaha.
javabeans: Su-geun quips, “He has variety sensibility.” Meaning, more pain = more entertainment. Isn’t that always the way. And that’s the end of the episode, which means we have to wait a whole week to find out whether they get to eat or not. As for me, I’m off to grab some dinner. Some insanely huge, calorie-rich dinner.