EPISODE 418. Broadcast on December 23, 2012.
javabeans: We’re back with the “Winter Health Special” (pssssh, “health” my foot) on the snowy deserted island! Brrr. And suddenly I’m not quite so cold anymore. Y’know, I wonder if that’s part of why this show is so popular the nation over—makes you appreciate what you’ve got and be glad you’re not worse off, doesn’t it?
girlfriday: Right? Makes you feel all warm and cozy at home. Like Instant Virtual Snuggie Effect… via others’ pain.
javabeans: The guys keep marveling at the snow and saying what a good sign this is and saying how it’s not really that cold. Are they just giddy, or are they trying to talk themselves into it?
girlfriday: I dunno, it looks pretty damn cold. For starters, their fire keeps getting put out, which is a quick way to die.
javabeans: Shi-kyung starts cooking potatoes, and everyone takes a taste… using wire coat hangers as implements. HA. It is the strangest sight—Su-geun just pokes his potato with the pointy hook end, but Jong-min folds his in half and makes tongs.
girlfriday: And then Tae-hyun starts gathering twigs, and wraps them in tin foil to make chopsticks. Brilliant! Haha, Jong-min makes a gigantor pair for Shi-kyung. How cute.
javabeans: The dinner cooking montage reminds me once again why I don’t camp.
girlfriday: That’s the thing about camping though — everything tastes good when you’re roughing it. Maybe survival instinct overtakes tastebuds.
javabeans: I’ll say. It’s great… by virtue of the fact that it’s not twigs and rocks!
girlfriday: Admittedly, that egg-fish-ramyun-soup thing looks weird. They insist it’s edible, so we’ll just take their word for it I guess.
javabeans: And the main course is unveiled: Mackerel-Soup-Ham-Ramyun-Pepper Paste-Jjiage. So basically it’s ramyun and you threw everything into it.
girlfriday: Yeah it’s Whatever Was In the Truck Soup.
javabeans: They have so few utensils and tools that they end up eating out of whatever containers they can find, like measuring spoons and rice ladles. Tae-woong even uses a tupperware lid as his spoon.
girlfriday: Oooh, the eggs and potatoes that they put into the campfire look delicious. Ha, even Bird PD thinks so, enough to sneak an egg while they aren’t looking. Suddenly they’re freaking out, and for good reason — the man starves them as his job!
javabeans: I love the sheepish look on Bird’s face, like, Aw, you caught me. I’m like, did you think they wouldn’t? He’s such an inept thief, it’s cute. I’m expecting them to make him pay up in the form of some food or reward, but they don’t do much other than scold.
girlfriday: After dinner, they sit around wondering what to do, and Seung-woo asks if they won’t grant a short leave for them, like in the army. Bird PD agrees to let one of them go, so they play a round of games and Shi-kyung wins two hours of free time and a boat ride back.
javabeans: It looks totally creepy, him standing in this canoe just fading into the blackness. The guys think so too, calling him the Grim Reaper, and I’m wondering what kind of a “prize” it’ll be to just go away alone for 2 hours. Although I suppose it might be worth it if he scores a heater and some snacks while he’s at it.
girlfriday: Aw, he goes to buy Su-geun some cold medicine, and then mostly spends the rest of the time snacking.
javabeans: He’s so smiley and jolly when he’s happy, which means when he’s eating. He just walks around chuckling to himself. It’s hilarious.
girlfriday: Meanwhile, back on the island, Bird PD announces a 3:3 game where the punishment is taking off a layer of clothing. Wut. Are they playing strip poker in the middle of winter on an island with just dudes?
javabeans: Lol. Su-geun points out he’s suffering a cold, and immediately Seung-woo starts hacking and faking his own. But no-go, and the teams are divided: It’s Tae-woong, Su-geun, and Jong-min on one team. Seung-woo, Joo-won, and Tae-hyun on the other.
girlfriday: Each team has to pick a representative stripper. That sounds weirder than it is.
javabeans: Hee. Yeah, it cuts to the chase quicker when you’re only peeling layers off one guy. Tae-woong gets picked as his team’s stripper (but that’ll never not be funny), while it’s Tae-hyun on the other. This is awesome.
girlfriday: People! This is where you make the maknae “lose” and edit in the rock-paper-scissors later! Sigh.
javabeans: Although since we’ve seen the previews, ultimately that’s moot. I’m just wondering: Exactly HOW badly does this team have to lose for two guys to strip?
girlfriday: I know. Can’t wait to find out!
javabeans: It’s a trivia back-and-forth, and I don’t feel so bad for Tae-woong stripping anymore since he’s the one messing up. But he’s the trivia king!
girlfriday: He’s totally off his game. Maybe it’s the speed part that’s messing it up. Tae-hyun only has to take off his hat by the time Tae-woong’s jacket-less.
javabeans: There’s one round where Tae-woong gets belatedly called out for a wrong answer, and while the PDs are looking it up the team insists, “If we’re right then YOU [Bird] have to take something off!” Then Bird also calls out Joo-won, and the internet search proves him wrong again. The boys start chanting, “Take it off! Take it off!” I love how when Joo-won was initially challenged he sorta hung his head and mumbled his answer, and after being proven right, he’s suddenly all puffed up in confidence, and they’re all, SEE?! Joo-won spent his childhood eating that fish!
girlfriday: It’s hilarious. Suddenly it’s his favorite food, even though he wasn’t sure it existed two minutes ago.
javabeans: Bird takes off his hat, and they warn that if he keeps calling false positives he’s in the strip game too.
girlfriday: Haha, in the next round there’s only six answers to a question, and when Bird keeps the game going, they chant for him to strip, and start peeling off his jacket. Is he gonna be the first shirtless guy in this game?
javabeans: They start joking that he can “recover his health” first, and Bird asks for a leave of absence from the island. Ha. Back in town, we cut to Shi-kyung tearing into this huge spread of fried chicken. He looks so happy. This sounds weird, but I could totally just watch him eat, it’s entertainment in itself. He does say, “I do feel a little bit sorry,” but the caption adds, “Very little bit.”
girlfriday: Yeah it’s basically 1N2D’s version of heaven and hell. While Shi-kyung is swooning at his chicken, Tae-woong is down to his last shirt layer. Eep.
javabeans: He looks SO COLD. It’s beyond the “Nah, I’m good” phase into teeth chattering and pleading for faster rounds.
girlfriday: Haha, surprise ace up his sleeve: two layers of socks.
javabeans: Bird suggests upping the stakes to three items per round, and Tae-hyun chuckles at all the layers he has left. Tae-woong looks worried.
girlfriday: Tae-hyun’s all leisurely, saying he could go ten layers in one round, and when Jong-min says they should do it, Tae-woong actually barks at him, “Do you want to pull my hairs out too?” Hee, he’s getting mad!
javabeans: After a long round of mook-jji-ppa, Tae-woong has to strip. Aw. And yet, I’m like, let’s just put him out of his misery quickly. He has about four layers left so he’ll be left in his skivvies, and he asks if he’s just supposed to stand around in them after they’re done. The writer adds that there’s one last round, and Tae-woong gapes, “After I’ve stripped?!”
girlfriday: Lol, and of course the staff takes that moment to stop and change tapes. Everyone had their evil genius wheaties today.
javabeans: So he starts to strip, but faces a quandary: If he takes off his top, he has nowhere to put his mic. If he takes off his long johns, his underwear will show. Tae-hyun jokes that he should take off the bottoms and hang the mic on his underpants. Tae-woong retorts, “You want me to talk like this?!” And then he yells hello into his crotch.
girlfriday: HAHAHAHA. And okay, there’s just something really funny about someone who’s still wearing a shirt, but is bottomless.
javabeans: The boys bring out these large round trays, telling him to cover his bottom half with it. Su-geun makes the suggestion to intensify the game, since they’re already facing one nekkid member: Make this next round worth ten items (to get Tae-hyun nekkid), and if they lose they’ll join Tae-woong. Bird announces a two-handed version of rock-scissors-paper as the final game, and there’s just this hysterical moment where Tae-woong’s so exasperated, ‘cause he doesn’t have a spare hand. Since he’s busy covering his nekkedness and all.
girlfriday: HEE. It’s hysterical. I know they couldn’t have planned for him to have his hands occupied for modesty’s sake, but he’s like, HELLO! So then Jong-min is the one to lose the final round, which means he’s the one who bears the brunt of the punishment. Ah, so this is how he ends up joining the nekkid party. He takes off nine layers, leaving the last for Tae-woong.
javabeans: I’m dying here. You can’t really do it justice in words, especially when the boys are fighting over the trays.
girlfriday: The trays actually make it worse, hee. They look totally naked, as opposed to being somewhat-clothed.
javabeans: Then, the nekkid team just can’t leave things at this state of total defeat and propose one last round—of FIFTEEN. At this point Tae-woong has the crazy gleam in his eye, and when Bird checks with him he roars, “I’LL DO IT!”
girlfriday: Well at some point, he’s gotta be like, I’m already nekkid, so how much worse could it get?
javabeans: Sadly, the show says they’re out of trays so that concludes our stripping portion of the special.
girlfriday: Boo. Now we know for next time they do a truck-supply raid: GET MORE TRAYS.
javabeans: The guys gratefully dress, and gather ‘round to await Shi-kyung. He comes back with head hanging and heavy sighs, saying it wasn’t much fun and he missed the guys. Lol. Good answer, dude. They sit around kind of bored, since they’re out of things to do, and then Bird announces that it’s time for most of the staff to head out, leaving only a skeleton crew behind. Tae-hyun proposes a game to liven up the goodbyes.
girlfriday: So they decide to play a game as proxies for their VJs, to determine which of them gets to leave the island, and which of them have to stay overnight. Poor Tae-woong’s VJ’s like waitaminute… I guess he doesn’t like those odds. The game: sweet-potato speed-eating and a whistle.
javabeans: It’s actually hard, because they literally pluck them out of the fire and they’re still scorching hot.
girlfriday: So Joo-won, Su-geun, and Seung-woo win tickets off the island for their VJs, and the rest are stuck here. Tae-hyun offers some sweet potato to his VJ as a consolation prize, and gets his hand shoved away. Ha.
javabeans: It’s extra-mean because the VJs had already worked out ahead of time who was supposed to stay, and now the game has messed up all their expectations. I wonder if this means some lucky maknaes got a ticket off this island. They pile into the boat and somberly wave goodbye to the guys stuck behind, and Su-geun points out that they’re acting like this now, but halfway back they’ll all be hollering and cheering.
girlfriday: After the boat leaves, the boys sit around the campfire and reminisce about the year and all the changes for Tae-woong and how long they’ve been doing the show already. I don’t know if it’s the campfire that changes the tone, but the guys naturally sort of talk more quietly and more about personal things.
javabeans: It’s way more earnest than we usually hear, and it sounds sincere, too, rather than the polished kind of talk you often hear when people ask how you feel about joining the show and so on. Is Joo-won crying? They don’t show his face but he gets the watery voice as he says he feels like he’s gained these hyungs and supportive figures that he’s really proud of.
girlfriday: It’s so cute. You can tell he means it when he says, “I can brag about my hyungs anywhere I go.”
javabeans: Bird says there’s no morning mission, because “Staying alive till morning will be the mission.” Ha, and also, not exactly encouraging.
girlfriday: I don’t know if it’s the far-off shots of the tiny group on the island in the pitch black, but it’s more creepy than cold that I’m worried about.
javabeans: The boys fall asleep in their tents, and then we get a shot of a lone figure sitting by the campfire. HA, it’s Bird, eating sweet potatoes. Why is he so funny? I guess he earned it this time, though, since he’s on campfire watch. In the morning, they’re called awake to make their boat, and we get a series of shots of the boys all stirring alive like zombies.
girlfriday: In cocoons. They’re cocoon zombies! Wow, Su-geun grabs a bottle of water to drink and it froze overnight.
javabeans: At least they get to take a motorboat outta this joint, and they don’t have to clean up the camp either—the crew will do that. Aw, poor crew.
girlfriday: They get taken to a restaurant, and for some reason all seven of them just sitting there silently with the same my-soul-is-elsewhere face is just funny.
javabeans: Poor Su-geun, he really looks sick. Like, I can almost feel the body ache he must be suffering right now, with his stuffy head and red nose.
girlfriday: But they start to come back to life when the food arrives, and eat happily. That is… until the staff starts being TOO nice, and then they get suspicious again. But they wouldn’t add more torture after a night like that, would they?
javabeans: They get herded out after breakfast, led somewhere without explanation… I think they’d actually be more suspicious if they weren’t so exhausted… but it turns out to be a trip to the baths. Do the PDs feel that bad for what they did to them?
girlfriday: Maybe? It is actually what they wanted most when they were freezing to death. They go down to just a few cameras and the guys get to soak.
javabeans: But! Then! As they’re enjoying their hot bath, a team of producers tiptoes through the locker room, waving surreptitiously. This cannot be good.
girlfriday: OMG, are they stealing their clothes? Is this just The Nekkid Special?
javabeans: Muahahahaha. Bet they won’t look at that fairy-woodcutter story the same way again, after being on the victim’s side. Shi-kyung opens up his locker expecting clothing, and instead finds a camera and a letter. Doesn’t the cute little yogurt drink left with each letter just add that extra touch of mockery?
girlfriday: Totally! I was just gonna say, it’s the perfect touch. The letter tells them it’s the start of the Fairy and Woodcutter Race. HA. Are they actually the fairies who lost their clothing? Their mission is simple: Find and retrieve their clothes. Pfffft.
javabeans: Okay, so they DID leave clothing behind. It’s just… not regular clothing. They’re these huge puffy jumpsuits that look like… garbage collector spacesuits?
girlfriday: They’re part 90s boy-band, part moonsuit.
javabeans: And to make them extra-special, they’re labeled in hilariously over-the-top ways: “Legendary dancer Kim Jong-min. Premium actor Uhm Tae-woong.” They have to take the car that has thoughtfully been emblazoned with the huge sign: “We are seeking our clothing.”
girlfriday: That’s not embarrassing at all.
javabeans: They figure they’re the fairies in the scenario, and start calling Seung-woo “Unni.” LOL.
girlfriday: So great.
javabeans: Just their luck: They arrive in the middle of the town center to find a huge crowd of screaming fans. Bird says they’ll get back items of their clothing (hats, socks, ha) if they perform the song and dance they did for the last concert trip. Here. Ha.
girlfriday: They totally gathered that crowd on purpose, didn’t they? And what’ll they do with just socks and hats? Lordy, this is funnier and funnier the meaner they get.
javabeans: They sit down to put on their socks and hats, and a crowd of little kids ask Jeon Woo-chi for a demonstration. How cute, Tae-hyun does his superpower move right at ‘em.
girlfriday: That is just the cutest thing ever. They head to their next mission location, and Su-geun sighs that it feels so much warmer just with socks on. “I now know how precious socks are. …So I should get to go home now.”
javabeans: Next they are given cameras and a particular image they have to snap. They’re hard, of course, like a dog on two legs or a cow sticking its tongue out.
girlfriday: Randomly, Su-geun finds a dog on two legs in about two seconds flat.
javabeans: Jong-min excitedly comes across flying birds, but he isn’t fast enough, and sighs. Then he spots chickens, and figures they’re birds too. HA. So then he’s standing there giving them a pep talk: “Spread your wings! You can fly! The only reason you don’t fly is because you think you can’t!”
girlfriday: He should just get Bird PD.
javabeans: LOL at Tae-hyun, who finds a cow and then has to harass it every which way to try to get it to stick out its tongue. The others manage to get theirs with various town residents, and then it’s the finale of getting Tae-woong tossed midair. They win back half their clothing, and have one last course to get back the rest.
girlfriday: At least it’s just a hike up a hill. I was worried they’d have to jump in the river. I love the row of neatly-folded pants sitting at the top, waiting to be claimed.
javabeans: They finally make it to the end, and Bird asks if they feel rejuvenated 10 years. Seung-woo quips that the first part of the trip took 10 years away from his age, and the fairy mission put it back on. Su-geun says they’ll go home and feel like it was a good experience, but Tae-woong says (a little testily) that he won’t watch this episode.
girlfriday: Oh don’t worry. We’ll screencap it for you. Ooh next week: epic staff race?