EPISODE 421. Broadcast on January 13, 2013.
girlfriday: Brrr, the boys start a new trip in the freezing cold, and give their New Years’ greetings. They realize this’ll be Tae-woong’s final trip before his wedding. Oooh, Bachelor Party Special?
javabeans: This would be the only place where the bachelor party would starve, mock, and humiliate the bachelor.
girlfriday: Well it would just be selfish to eat well and have a good time. Where’s the fun in that? (For us, naturally.)
javabeans: I love that Seung-woo jokes that Tae-woong will soon start looking forward to these 1N2D weekends. Subtext: Marriage is great and all, but you’ll soon be champing at the bit to get away whenever possible.
girlfriday: Pfft, I love that you can make fun of Bird PD for just about anything. Today it’s his winter wear, which makes his head look like it’s being swallowed by a dinosaur, as the boys point out.
javabeans: Bird asks what’s the first thing that pops to mind with the word winter. The boys start tossing out words like “hot springs” and “heated floors” and “roasted sweet potatoes.” They weren’t born yesterday. Not like Bird is gonna give them any of those things, but why give him the satisfaction of guessing his punishment for you?
girlfriday: He’s so easily thwarted. He’s like “No, not those things! *grump grump*” He tells them that they’re going on a Winter Break Special, and heading to a snow festival. They’re seeking out MORE snow?
javabeans: He announces that they’re taking a “special” vehicle for the occasion, and the boys immediately start complaining. I love that they’re all suspicious and grumpy about it, and it turns out Bird means special in the way normal people use it, to describe something desirable, lol. There’s an extra-large bus waiting, and the boys guess that somebody’s getting left off it, only to be told that nope, they all get to ride in the fancy nice bus. Their reaction: Collective displeasure. Something is up for sure.
girlfriday: Tae-hyun: “I see. The two hours we spend on the bus will be the warmest, for the whole trip.” Bird looks up. That must be the answer. And the preview confirms it.
javabeans: THEY’RE SLEEPING IN AN IGLOO? The brief cuts show us cast members forced to snow-fight, eat ice cream, and camp out in a freaking igloo.
girlfriday: That’s officially insane.
javabeans: I can hear Bird cackling to himself in giddiness from here. “Good one, bird. You really outdid yourself. Hee hee. Snort.” They get into the bus, and it’s not just a regular bus, but like a rockstar touring bus with leather couches lining the sides.
girlfriday: It’s a gigantic waste of space, but it looks cool. The boys immediately start whining for snacks and then eventually Bird PD explains that they’ll be running a marathon for a big lunch prize.
javabeans: He describes one person acting as their MC for the marathon and winning a favor, and the boys perk up at the idea of getting food without strings attached, or maybe going home early. The game to win that position: Don’t laugh. One person will be assailed by all six others, and the guy who holds out the longest wins.
girlfriday: They draw numbers to figure out the order, and Tae-hyun says this’ll determine the winner more than anything… and draws 1. Ha. Joo-won and Jong-min draw the last two, so they have the best chance of holding out. Though I figure if anyone’s ticklish, that throws the whole order thing out.
javabeans: Tae-hyun puts on a mask and earphones to drown out the sound while the others strategize, but the moment the blindfold comes off and the clock starts, he’s got to keep that straight face while Seung-woo and Shi-kyung pull these immature jacket tricks. He only lasts about thirty seconds.
girlfriday: He was doomed anyway. He giggles at everything. Seung-woo is up next, and Su-geun gets up on the table… and moons him? And farts in his face? Dude.
javabeans: It doesn’t even work, and Seung-woo doesn’t even look tempted to laugh. They gradually get him to start smiling more and more, and finally after 1:40 he cracks. Tae-woong is third and says he isn’t worried, and it looks like he’ll be a tough nut to crack. But… Tae-hyun gets a brilliant idea and pulls out his phone. The moment Tae-woong’s blindfold comes off, he shows him the picture, and Tae-woong bursts into a smile. HA — he video-phoned his wife and Tae-woong only lasted 5 seconds before he smiles, ‘cause now he has to say hi.
girlfriday: It’s pretty impossible not to smile when you’re talking to your friend’s wife, but I think the surprise added to it. Nicely played.
javabeans: Omg, they outdo themselves for Number 4, Shi-kyung. They unveil the mask and start doing Seo Taiji impressions — and sitting right in front of Shi-kyung is Bird. He lasts 2 seconds.
girlfriday: Hahaha. That was awesome.
javabeans: They’re all, “We’re SAE [bird] Taiji and the Boys!”
girlfriday: Flashback to Su-geun saying all they need to do to make Shi-kyung laugh is put Bird in front of his face. Turns out he was right.
javabeans: When they unveil Su-geun’s mask, it’s not really anything special — it’s a mishmash of the other tactics. Seung-woo’s jacket gag, Tae-hyun’s video phone, and Su-geun just keeps his face stoic. Camera catches Joo-won looking serious, trying to think of something to break hyung down, and suddenly he gets up and SLAPS Su-geun in the face. LOL. Su-geun immediately loses.
girlfriday: HAHAHA. I can’t believe he did that.
javabeans: It’s so unexpected it’s freaking hilarious. It’s the lightest slap ever but just the fact that he’s the maknae and he dared slap him makes everyone burst into laughter.
girlfriday: Joo-won’s up next, and the hyungs each hold in a mouthful of water, drooling slowly. It doesn’t work, until Seung-woo does a huge spit-take, and then he finally cracks. Seung-woo ends up winning the MC spot.
javabeans: The bus arrives, and as the guys start walking Jong-min sneaks up behind Shi-kyung and pelts him in the back of the head with a huge snowball. Shi-kyung whirls around, all, WHO DID THAT? Tae-hyun: “He just got better [from his back injury], and now he’s gonna get beat to death.”
girlfriday: Heh, even Seung-woo gets scared when Shi-kyung’s mad. The boys arrive at the village and find marathon uniforms waiting for them. Wow, with helmets, knee pads and everything. This isn’t going to be an easy marathon, is it?
javabeans: They look like they’re heading to boot camp. They get blank nametags that they use to write their own labels, so they get to writing things like “Long Legs” (Su-geun), “Big Kid” (Shi-kyung), “Young Kid” (Joo-won), “Pitiful Kid” (Tae-woong), and Jeon Woo-chi’s magic spell for Tae-hyun.
girlfriday: The course is so confusing that Seung-woo can barely get through explaining it, and they’re like, “Can we just go?” Bird PD totally caves, realizing it’s pointless. The important part: first, second and third place get warm indoor lunch, fourth and fifth get lunch outdoors, and sixth place will suffer.
javabeans: Lol, they announce the race start with a gunshot, and all the boys all collapse, feigning being shot. Haha. I like that it wasn’t explained, they just did it. And then one defector starts running, leaving the others behind: Traitor Jong-min.
girlfriday: They sigh with zero surprise, like it’s their own fault for trusting him. The first stop on the course is eel sauce vs. coffee.
javabeans: They grab cups and keep running, with half getting coffee and the other half doing spit-takes. They move on to the second round, and have to pick paddles with quiz questions on them. They’re true-false answers, and have to pass through one of two buildings as their answer. Either they gain passage onward, or get slammed with a bucket of snow.
girlfriday: The next stop is a mystery word, with each syllable written on a teeny tiny piece of paper and strung up to a fan.
javabeans: Ha, Joo-won just blurts it out before he’s told to come and whisper it quietly, so the first three guys just copy him instead of bothering to read.
girlfriday: Even funnier is Tae-woong, who was standing right next to him, but doesn’t know it’s the answer.
javabeans: So the first two are Shi-kyung and Joo-won, while the last two are Jong-min and Tae-hyun. Why is this not surprising? After the crawling-in-the-snow course, they arrive to the next task: Pick a stick, which is attached to a string, which is attached to a carton of ice cream. If you’re lucky (Shi-kyung), the carton is a mini single serving. If you’re not (Joo-won), you get stuck with something like a quart. If that were me, I’d be whining, “Bird, why you gotta ruin the things I love?”
girlfriday: Seriously. So much brain freeze. I’m cringing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the thousand-yard stare over ice cream before. Ha, immediately following the ice cream station is a snack bar, which is less of a marathon course and more of a time trap. There’s fishcake skewers and the like, and you can eat as much as you want, so I suppose if you’re hungry you could be there a while.
javabeans: Joo-won struggles to finish his huge carton, getting bypassed by his hyungs. Tae-hyun, though, gets a string of small cartons (ha), and Jong-min gets another big one. They finally move on to join the others at the game where you roll four yut sticks (a traditional new year’s game) and what you roll determines how far you get to go. There are “back to start” points and people get sent back to Go a bunch of times. Everyone gets stuck here for a nice long while.
girlfriday: Okay, this game was badly designed. There’s this clusterfuck and nobody can manage to get out, for what seems like forever.
javabeans: But on the upside, I like that this game is an equalizer. It’s totally luck. Just too bad that it takes so freaking long.
girlfriday: They note that people keep going in… and no one comes out.
javabeans: Lol, does Shi-kyung actually go all the way back to the food station just to snack? He’s all, “Eh, I might not escape the game for a while, might as well eat.” They’re there so long that they start figuring that it’s better to just send one guy out, competition be damned.
girlfriday: Now they’re cheering each other on, “DO IT! Somebody get out of here! Give us hope that it can be done!”
javabeans: Finally, guys start trickling out of the game hut, although Tae-hyun and Joo-won get stuck for a while longer. They move on to the toboggan race, where Tae-woong takes the lead. By the time they arrive at round NINE, Shi-kyung’s in front and they have to shoot down these dolls with a slingshot. Ha, the dolls have nametags on them and the guy whose doll that gets hit has to “freeze” for a minute.
girlfriday: This is the longest marathon ever. Okay, probably not true, but it feels crazy long. They finally get to the last station, with bokbulbok shoes. They range from snowshoes to skis, all with strings that you have to hand-tie.
javabeans: I feel like the course is SO LONG and tiring that at this point the guys don’t even care about winning, they just want to finish. I’m sure that’ll change once they get (or don’t get) lunch, but right now it’s like, huffpuff, huffpuff, another one? Tae-hyun narrates the viewership’s likely response to watching this on TV: “C’mon, why doesn’t he go faster? What is he doing?”
girlfriday: Sounds about right. It was good up until the human board game, and then it got long. Su-geun reaches the finish line first, and Shi-kyung and Tae-woong join him in the winners’ circle. Joo-won makes it in fourth, so that leaves the fight over not being last place.
javabeans: Is it fitting that Jong-min, the guy who “betrayed” them by dashing off first, comes in last?
girlfriday: That’s karma for ya.
javabeans: Ha. Although I do feel bad for him — he’s still not well, is he? They didn’t talk much about it but he slept the whole ride over and wasn’t part of the first game.
girlfriday: Yeah he’s still sick, poor thing. And for his punishment he has to climb back up the hill to eat alone on a snowy hilltop. At least he gets food? Ha, and then Seung-woo adds that the indoor people get to rest inside for as long as they want… and Jong-min can’t leave the snow until they say so.
javabeans: Man, just getting to his picnic destination looks like an ordeal. He sends a photo text to the other guys, of him lying on the snow in the fetal position, hugging himself. Ha. The guys inside want to rest longer, but of course Jong-min has to suffer for them to rest. Seung-woo: “Turn off the phone.” Tae-woong: “I just won’t answer.” HEE.
girlfriday: Ha, and then they just roll over to nap. But eventually Seung-woo calls and Jong-min gets permission to come back.
javabeans: It’s been a long, snow-filled day, but it looks like the real suffering is up ahead for the sleeping assignments. Human bowling and barefoot games? “I feel like I’m dying,” Seung-woo writes, and calls out a plea to his wifey to save him. If only she could.