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Spill the Beans: Dad blaming and troll shaming

Alternately, this could be named “Spill the Beans: Beanie Appreciation Edition.” You guys are an awesome lot!
 
To submit your story, email us your stories, and we’ll keep sharing them as long as you guys keep sending them in.

 
You know when we all get mad at MBC for trying to bring Dae Jang Geum back? Reading all these stories, I start to understand why they’re so fixated on it. DuchessRhea shares hers:

So my story dates back a long time ago, and it begins quite differently from most international K-drama fans, apparently. I saw my first K-drama when I was around twelve (which would make it about twelve years of K-drama watching for me this year), when my dad brought home a boxed DVD set of Dae Jang Geum (also known as Jewel in the Palace, though I never knew the English title up until a few years ago) home from the library.

That’s right, a sageuk was my very first drama. I wouldn’t get into modern dramas for YEARS. Watching Dae Jang Geum became a family thing, when both my parents and I (I’m an only child) would all cuddle on the bed and binge watch episodes. When we reached the end of a DVD, we’d all whine and be back at the library looking for the next set.

We spent the next few years watching only historical dramas, from Jumong to Queen Seondeok, until I finally figured out how to stream online. Then a whole new world opened up to me. I started exploring more modern dramas (though I can’t for the life of me remember what that first one was), and got sucked even deeper into the black hole. At this point, my mom refused to join us, because she hated feeling that desperate need for the next episode, the need for MORE — her solution was to just stop watching them. (These days, she’ll watch the first and the last episode; she claims that she can guess what happened in the middle. We let her believe that.)

K-dramas also led me to my love of K-pop. I still remember the first hint I got that the world of K-pop even EXISTED. I was watching Shut Up! Flower Boy Band, and became curious about one of the actors. I then proceeded to look him up, and found out he was part of a K-pop boy band called Infinite. To this day, I still mourn the fact that Shut Up! is one of the few dramas (if not the only drama) that Infinite’s L excelled in.

K-dramas really did shape who I am today; I developed a fascination for Korean history, culture, food, etc., and it became the basis for my life. I received a scholarship to study in Korea for a year, and when I came back, I resumed my studying with a new major in mind: Asian Studies with a concentration in Korean. That’s where I am in my life now, working towards my BA with the hopes that it will bring me back to Korea, because once I got a taste of living there, I had to go back — permanently, if possible.

To this day, whenever my dad complains that I’m obsessed with K-dramas, K-pop, or Korea in general, I remind him that, technically, it’s his fault for bringing home that DVD set of Dae Jang Geum all those years ago. And can he really say anything? He probably watches more K-dramas than me. Heck, he watches them at double speed (sometimes even triple speed. — I don’t know how he does it…) so he can watch more in a shorter timespan.

What can I say? This household is whipped.

 

 
What do you mean, I can’t resist anyone who mentions me by name? BlueDoe’s story is just that good (don’t tell her about the sequel):

I got into K-dramas around 2008 because I was in love with the American show Full House, and every time I would search for clips, the Korean Full House would be in the results. I resisted for a while, but I finally clicked on it, and I loved it so much because it was so different from the movies/dramas we are used to watching.

Then I was hooked, I watched all of Song Hye-gyo’s dramas along with Secret Garden, My Name is Kim Sam-soon, etc… I actually understand Korean now without subtitles and can think of sentences in Korean in daily life, even though I still can’t create my own sentences yet. I tried so hard to make people around me watch, but nobody gets as crazy as me, and they stop watching after one drama. And then I usually have nobody to discuss the excitement and crazy reactions to awesome moments in shows. Then I found this site, and it is the best thing ever. I usually never write or read comments because I have two jobs and a family and a bunch of dramas to watch so I skip all discussions. However, this section encouraged me to write because I wanted to tell how much I appreciate the “Ratings” page and individual recaps.

I usually watch an episode after you’ve recapped it and open the recap in a separate tab, and then anytime something funny/cool/scary happens, I rush to that section in the recap and read the reaction such as “OH SHIIIIT RUUUUN” (girlfriday’s W—Two Worlds recaps). It makes me feel like I’m actually watching with someone. I do believe you guys analyze some stuff that wasn’t even intentional, but it’s still fun because I love overthinking plots enough to where I feel that I’m spending my time on meaningful stuff (which usually it isn’t). I feel like javabeans, girlfriday, LollyPip and HeadsNo2 are like my watching buddies, and I really enjoy the “What We’re Watching” section because it helps to know what others think about the week as well. Thank you so much for this awesome site!

 

 
Down with trolls, indeed! Divyrus shares a very, very heartfelt tale:

I have been putting this off for some time and am not sure where to start.

I have been seeing K-dramas for about seven years now. Around three years ago, I was really in a bad place. Me and this guy have been best friends for more than ten years through school and college, but somehow over time, lines started blurring and we got way too complicated. We were in denial for so long and maybe it made it worse, but long story short, it became very ugly. I know if its a K-drama, I would want them to cut through the hesitation and just dive in, but there is a good reason not to. When you get involved with your best friend, you both know each other’s worst weakness and with
lack of maturity, you can end up hurting the other in the worst way possible. Which is what happened. And since we both belonged to this same group of friends for years, it all broke. I lashed out pretty badly for lot of unintentional things and I lost belief in friendship. Combining it with some pretty unpleasant experiences (which included a harassment and a minor accident), I could say I hit an all time low.

Bruised mentally and physically, I built this huge wall around me, camped there, and decided not to have anything to do with the world anymore. I was mean to my friends who tried to reach me and became a workaholic as a distraction. And I had to put my usual happy face on to my parents so that they wouldn’t worry, which consumed all the energy I had. I basically avoided people when it wasn’t work-related, and being a bit of extrovert naturally, it only made things worse. And even when I tried getting out, my bad experiences made me scared, and I got panic attacks. I refused to reach out for help for fear of getting hurt again.

I was not seeing a lot of K-dramas by this time, and I opened Dramabeans daily more out of habit than anything else. And there I saw javabeans squeeing over a show called Healer. I decided to give it a try. I was awake till five in the morning marathoning the first six episodes. It has been a long time since I did that. It hit me with a new energy, and I was catching up on all recaps and comments at work. I have mostly been a lurker and always find beanies to tell me what I am thinking better and faster.

But there was something about this show – it exploded so big and suddenly that the sense of community in the recaps was so refreshing. I identified myself with Chae Young-shin when she stands up to violence despite her panic attacks. I found myself getting in involved in the conversations, and before I knew it, I was camping there permanently, squeeing over Ji Chang-wook’s jawline or writing essays on the characters and story arcs. It’s not a exaggeration when I say that that was the most words I have spoken outside of what was required in those six months. It slowly bought me out of my shell, and I realized how much I missed talking to people. It’s very true that it’s easier to talk to strangers than friends at times.
I was suddenly feeling alive as I squee’d and enjoyed the show along with the community that was so warm and all kinds of awesome.

I decided to stop the pity party and slowly brought the wall down. I reconciled with friends, reached for help, risked putting myself there, worked less, went out more and basically started living again. It was not easy, and I have avoided revisiting or thinking about that dark period, but looking back two years later, I feel I can look back on that girl and not recognize her. Getting excited about The K2 made me wanna rewatch Healer, and it took me back to who I was. And now I realize how far I have come.

I went on to see more dramas, made more new friends, met some amazing beanies in person and even found courage to move to a different country for work.

So, I would like to say a “Thank You” to all the beanies here, your comments that make me smile, laugh, and think, and special thanks to Healer beanies for all the warmth and love. Mostly my biggest thanks to javabeans and girlfriday for creating such a beautiful place here. It’s a sanctuary in this day and age of an internet that is full of snark, and I will be forever a fan cheering you both on!

P.S. I don’t pop into the contact page to send mail often, but did someone really call you a poopyhead for not doing recaps? Down with the trolls!

 

 
I can think of much more offensive things to find on someone else’s laptop. Dynasty101 tells of her accidental stumble into the K-drama universe:

It all started in the year 2014. I was in the office one day and felt bored since I was less busy. I decided to go and look for anyone who could give me movies to watch so I could keep myself busy, so I went to the IT office and asked my colleague for a movie. He said he didn’t have one, but the person’s laptop he was working on had one, so I should check it out…

I browsed through the laptop and found City Hunter — from the name, I thought it was American, but when I played the video, I realized it was Korean. I decided to watch it, and I fell so in love with the drama that I took it home for my family to watch. I told my friends and other colleagues about the drama, and those of them who watched it were all like, “Do you have any other drama with that same guy in it?” I was like, “Who, Lee Min-ho?”

I smiled because I knew we had all been infected with the Lee Min-ho bug. Of course, I had to go back to that same colleague to ask for another drama and came across Jumong. Damn, that drama was just so addicting — not just to me, but my family and colleagues. In the office, all we talked about was Jumong… it was awesome.

The main addiction started when I got home from work one day and saw my neighbor watching You’re Beautiful from their window since they kept it open. I went and asked for it when they were done, and automatically, they turned into my K-drama supplier. That was how I came across almost all Lee Min-ho’s drama from Boys Over Flowers, Personal Taste, Faith, Heirs, and also a lot of other nice dramas (You From Another Star, The King’s Face, King’s Daughter Soo Baek-hyang, Records of a Night Watchman, and the list goes on and on).

I located Dramabeans while watching Gu Family Book, since my neighbor didn’t have the last two episodes and we couldn’t find it in shops to buy then because it was still airing. After some time I resorted to checking online for the last two episode so I could watch it, but then I saw Dramabeans and decided to check it out. To my surprise when I read those two episodes it didn’t feel like I was just reading it, it felt like I was watching it happening live — I could relate with the characters and even cry while reading. For someone who’s not really emotional, wow. I thought it could be because I was watching it, but I started reading almost every drama that was recapped and I felt the same way, and today Dramabeans is like a second home to me… when I’m down, sad, or happy, I just come here. And before I know it I’m smiling like a goof and laughing like a loon while people stare at me like, “Is she all right?”

Today I’ve actually become an ambassador for Korean dramas in my community by supplying and recommending K-dramas to people. My cousins always come back with loads of K-dramas whenever they are on break from school. It is a beautiful, mutual feeling shared within and outside my family.

Thank you to the Dramabeans Community for being here for us when we needed you the most, you guys are the best!!!

 

 
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who refreshes db website on daily (or maybe hourly). I don't even know how i ended up finding this great website....but i love reading the recaps on the shows that i watched and to see the latest news on kstars.

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I know, right?? I've become addicted to DB actually, not so much the dramas.

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Yey, glad I'm not alone either! Something about DB is addictive.

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OMG
Thanks for posting my story
My appreciation continues to everyone in this beanies community - Javabeans, Girlfriday, HeadsNO2, Gummimochi, Odilettante, Lollipop, Chickachunga, Awcoconuts, Dramallama, Happily ever after, SailorJumun, Says, Tineybeanie, Mary, Laica, Love park, Hanshimi, Festerfaster, TeriYaki, Candidclown, Murasakimi, The whole DB Staff, every reader & commenter.

Thank you so much for being here, it means a lot.

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*Autocorrect it's Saya not Says

I don't know if I'm missing someone's name but if I am, I'm also grateful to you.

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@divya sending out biggets beanie hug...

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Hi Sumee!!! Great to see you!

Same here @Divyrus !!! Lots of love and hugs to you and to Sumee and all Beanies. Would love to see you again. It was the most fun time in my kdrama life.

Healer days were the great, warmest days of my kdrama viewing years ... and still are, since we do get together from time to time. You gals know where to go, don't you?

I'm glad that our community was a 'home' of sorts and that it encouraged you to go back out there. Hey, the Healer thread still welcomes you (and everyone). :)

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@gb you are alway so gracious ...love to you and happy thanksgiving

Healer always bring back all the most amazing memories ...

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Oh my god! Thanks so much for putting my story out here, all you beanie lords! <3 More than the dramas, you guys and the community you made here is the reason why we all come back again and again - to find solace and to escape.

@Sumee - *hugs to you too*

@GB - Awww unni, you are seriously the best! :) You were the very first person I had a discussion with, I remember very well and we actually got to meet also! Hope to you see you again too!
Am a huge lurker unni, be it here or our mailing group - am hugely habituated to my lurker tendencies! I will try to pop in soon, unni <3 Know that, I always look out for your comments in any post and you are as always, so awesome :)

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Thanks, my dear Div! I think I even recall what we first chatted about. Lots of love! :D

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Divyrus!!! Feels great to see you here after so long ?
I had no idea you went through something like that before you watched kdramas, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Oh, and are you me? I rewatched Healer too thanks to K2. XD and listened to the Healer podcast and laughed along with Jb and gf. It was so much fun. When we commented on those Healer recaps(and camped on the thread throughout the week lol), it was so much fun. I miss those days so much. You just reminded me of that time. All the Healer beanies, I miss you all so much! Growing beautifully, fab, Turkishrose, omomo, sky and everyone else I'm forgetting.

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Dear Saema! We haven't forgotten you!!! I hope you're doing well. I miss those days too. If you're missing us too much, you can write to us (the group is still going) and you can email me ... I'd love to hear from you again. :)

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Hugs, divya. Glad you found a happy place in Db. Thanks for 'spilling the beans'. Hope one day we have chance to meet, healerites.

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*hugs back*

Thanks merry, yes I hope I could meet all of you :)

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this song describe well how we felt after reading Divyrus:
"No matter if you're near or far
Our bond will never break

Promise me this forever
We'll always stay this way
We can start at the end of time
And do it all again

Oh my love
I'm all yours
And there will never be another one
'Cause I'm eternally yours
My heart's a flame
And it's burning in your name
Even through the sands of time
My love will always grow
And I won't let go

(It's a beautiful feeling)
(We've got deep inside)
And there will never be another one
'Cause I'm eternally yours
My heart's a flame
(Such a rush of emotions)
Burning in your name
(We can't push it away)
Even through the sands of time
My love will always grow
My eternal love..."

no matter which part of the world, far or near, out bond thru Healer will never break nor forgotten.
the beautiful feelings that we got inside us, stirred again by just a sharing post, a healer-scenes photo, a healer bts, and there will never be another one, anothe drama another OTP that can caused such a rush of emotion, again and again enshrouded us again.
even through the sands of time, Healer can bind us, can moved us, can heal our cold hearts numb by the daily life.
do Changwook and Minyoung feel the same about Healer, like us?

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"no matter which part of the world, far or near, out bond thru Healer will never break nor forgotten.
the beautiful feelings that we got inside us, stirred again by just a sharing post, a healer-scenes photo, a healer bts, and there will never be another one, anothe drama another OTP that can caused such a rush of emotion, again and again enshrouded us again.
even through the sands of time, Healer can bind us, can moved us, can heal our cold hearts numb by the daily life."

PREACH. <3 Somethings never fade away or change. All it takes is for one single thing to take us back to that moment.

"do Changwook and Minyoung feel the same about Healer, like us?"

I have a feeling they do! Am still holding on to a distant dream that once Wookie is back from army - they both will do another drama together and get married and have babies, lol :D ;)

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LOL! @ maryofbethany
You've outdone yourself!! :)

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Awww thank you Saema! It was not easy but am glad I found support in a unexpected way here. We can never underestimate the power of a story and the way it can bring people together. :)

hehe, yes I thnk we could be twins :P
I also went through the healer podcast again, man the soundtrack really takes me back.

We should plan a time and date for a online get together party then? ;)

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To watch Kdramas isn't easy here but once it's out, one can watch. I can't remember the first Korean drama I watched but I remember the second and it was Boys Before Flower. Since the day I watched that drama, I became addicted to it. I have watched most of Lee Min Ho's dramas. I can't count how many of them. In fact, I came across an app that can enable me watch Korean dramas online. I have been reading recaps on dramabeans for more than 3 years. There's no day that passes by without reading recaps. It's fun to read people's comments and how they bond and analyze dramas. Thanks Dramabeans for this. It helps to keep in touch.

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I remember so clearly @Divyrus on the Healer Beanies thread!!! How we all took care of each other and even formed a crazy off-line email group. I think several of us still keep in touch. I am filled with warm feelings and happy memories of TREU community whenever I see Divvy's name on comments in DramaBeans. It seems that Healer healed a whole bunch of us all at the same time. Sending you hugs Divvy! Waving from Los Angeles!

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Waving back at you @ lunatic4kd

I've been reading you here and there and smiling to think how we've shared such a great times, and even personal stuff, although remotely. You know how you can keep in touch. Hugs!

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@lunatic4kd

unni !!!!!!!!! how are youuuuuuu!!!?

I have been reading you so much here these days ( thanks to beans of wisdom posts) , and making a note of your wise words ( even though I do not understand much of them, adultery seems to be hot topic these days, lol ) .

And I remember you as well, how we got closer little by little - it was my best and favorite kdrama time ever even if it was so bad personally. Tight hugsss. Waving from London <3

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I love this website and I recently discovered it while I was searching on some articles on my favorite actress Kim hyunjoo. Now I open dramabrans every day.

So I really enjoyed reading this post. I wanted to share my story with you on how I got hooked on Korea and kdrama/pop.
My first drama was also jewel in the palace and it was dubbed in Arabic (my family are originally from Lebanon) so we would all sit and watch it. Then I got hooked. My second drama was sad love story. And after that I got addicted and just couldn't and still can't live without kdrama. I watch all my dramas online ( I just finished scarlet heart ryeo and fantastic). Watching all these dramas I started loving k culture and everything about Korea. I started learning how to cook Korean food and listening to kpop. I'm a huge fan of big bang , beast, mino, ses, Zico.i live in an area close to a ktown so I'm always there going to supermarket,restaurants and shopping for Korean items. I plan on learning the language soon and visiting the country with my younger sister who is also a kdrama/kculture addict. I always tell myself I may not look Korean from the outside but I am from the inside . Lol . -Gina-California

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Yeah, DuchessRhea! Kdramas always make school better. :) I'm an Asian Studies with Chinese emphasis... but my minor is Korean. ^^ It's the most fun I've ever had, seriously.

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@Divyrus

❤️
Your story brought tears into my eyes, I'm moving on from the aftermath of BFF turned BF and now Ex myself but thankfully it is much less severe than yours.
My heart goes out to you, i want to tell you that you are such a strong and brave young woman and hope you remember that while going through life to be able to break free and find your way back to yourself.
Your post gave a little bit of hope which I'm in need of these days, so thank you so much for sharing your story.
Wish you a great day and a happy life. ❤️

Also for DB and all the Beanies,
For the last few months, I smiled and laughed reading your posts.
Honestly, without exaggeration the reason behind 90 % of my smiles or laughs are because DB and comments of the wonderful Beanies.
So Thank you
Wish you all a great day l, a happy life and satisfying dramas to watch. ☺️

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@MinaBoom

Relationships between friends are trickiest and most hardest. Because when it ends, we not only lose a bf, we also lose a friend.

Hang in there! It gets easier, I promise you that. One thing I learnt for sure is, that nothing is permanent. Keep believing and hold hope. Your heart will change one day! :)

Much love and hugs!!!!

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This thread just made my day, I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Kdramas, thank you for existing ❤
DB staff, thank you for all of your hard work ❤
And thank you both for making our lives enjoyable and our days brighter ❤

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A Spill the Beans without even one story focused on Boys Over Flowers??? How is that possible! :P

Anyway, jokes aside, I really love this segment! It gives me validation that i am not the only kdrama- obsessed person out there!

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As much as I dislike Lee Min Ho - ok maybe dislike is too strong of a word, more like immune to his charm AFTER Heirs because Kim Tan that jerk ruined everything - I realised that Lee Min Ho deserves all the fame, he is responsible for a great deal of hallyu wave.

And yes, City Hunter got me into this too. I even really liked Personal Taste!

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Someone called DB poopyhead for not doing recaps???? Pwahahahahahaaaa! This is hilarious!

Well if you look on the bright side, it just shows how big the website has become and how many people rely on it for their drama fix (and how severe that reliance has become).

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I can totally relate to BlueDoe's story, because I do the exact same thing! I watch the show with the Dramabeans recap open in another tab, and whenever something exciting happens, I immediately check how whoever is recapping reacted to that haha. It really does feel like I'm watching the drama with someone else :')

Thank you so much Dramabeans, for this family of KDrama-lovers, and all the wonderful beanies that we get to meet and interact with through this platform <3

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This spill the beans edition was so heartwarming. I could relate to Divyrus's post. Even though they are not similar circumstances, I was going through hard time a few months back. It was kdramas and dramabeans that brought me back and made living bearable.

Though I had watched master's sun and I hear your voice two years back, real life interrupted, I couldn't continue watching more dramas and forgot all about them. But when it became particularly difficult (now I realize, compared to other people's struggles, mine was not much) and I was searching for something to revive me and make me feel like myself again was when I remembered the high I felt after watching those dramas. That's what made me watch healer (I googled best kdramas of 2015, lol) and that brought me to dramabeans because I couldn't understand a few things clearly in the first episode, I decided to search for recaps and I loved javabeans's writing so much so that for my next drama I tried to find one recapped by her. But, I watched sassy go go and I discovered lollypip and saya, then it was kill me, heal me and i discovered purple cow. It was like along with discovering dramas, I was also discovering these gem writers who made me think about character arcs, their motives, the tropes, deconstructing the relationships etc which made the dramas more interesting.

Then I realized that if I was watching current airing dramas then I could comment and speculate and squee together with fellow beanies and that's what made me watch w, bring it on ghost and the rest followed. Now I have read almost every DB staff's recaps and all of you are awesome writers with distinct style. Dramabeans is the only online forum where I comment because the community here is just incredible. Now, I check dramabeans regularly and I am sure, ten years from now, I will still be checking dramabeans every chance I get. So, thank you DB staff and beanies for making this site what it is. Beanie for life! :)

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♥ ♥ ♥

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This post made my heart smile.

I've cried reading recaps as well. For a show I hadn't watched (and still haven't had time to watch till this day)! Dramabeans writers are just that good!

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i too love this site and have to have a daily dose to feel "fed". i have a big famly with lots of problems which keeps me in insomnia stress land. this is the place of oasis for me and of course watching them. i love this site, the insights, the humor the seriousness the wonderful people behind it all. if i am gone from kdramas too long in a day i have to go back to my computer and get a dose again. you all keep me sane in an insane world. i can't thank you enough.

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This spill the beans is really a beautiful edition. Thanks to all who shared their stories! Dramabeans has been my homepage ever since I got myself a smartphone - to me there is no funnier and heartfelt website around. And while I decided to withdraw from Facebook and cut down my social life while preparing for my highly competitive entrance exams, there is no way I would stop surfing on Dramabeans daily - I need it to keep my sanity together. A big big thank you to the whole community of writers and readers!

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What a lovely thread. I especially liked that parents (nay, dads!!) might be even more into dramas than we are. But convert a whole office and have neighbourhood abuzz! WOW. I'm impressed.

And yes, what first drew me to read recaps is exactly the OH SHIT, RUN! moments, where you feel like you are watching along with the recappers. We appreciate your hard work!

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Thanks Heads! And all other DB lords!

I got so much hugs today, I am feeling all warm and happy. Thanks for posting my story :)

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Hi Debby(Nigeria)
Am also from Nigeria and I would really love it if you can recommend the site or app for either downloading or online watching.
its really hard to get a working site in Nigeria and we never get to watch a Korean drama when it is airing. you have to wait for about a month after the drama airs before watching.
I would really really really really love if anybody on this site can help.

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Hi @eddy

I download mine from dramafire.com, myasiantv.se or dramanice.to

There are also a lot of other sites, you should probably check google for them.

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As a Korean American who grew up with Kdramas my whole life, I am amazed at all these amazing stories of beanies!!! I consider Kdramas and Kpop to be a huge part of my identity and life (although many 2nd generations may be more Americanized due to the melting pot). It's great to come into a community where we're able to connect with others and bring a love for dramas. I normally don't write in the comment section but it's great to know that I'm not alone and I have readers fangirling along with me! Thank you everyone and dramabeans for making this website happen!! Also, thank you for having an interest in Kdramas!

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I understand that group Lee Min Ho phenomenon. I go to an all girl's school and we have a secret picture of him stashed at the back that people go and look at when they're stressed!

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