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This Week, My Wife Will Have an Affair: Episode 5

Is it harder to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness? With his perfect world turned upside down, Hyun-woo struggles to deal with the aftermath of discovering his wife’s affair. But for as difficult a time as he’s having, there’s someone else who might be hurting more. Hyun-woo may find it difficult to forgive, but he’ll have to be careful not to hurt others in his quest to avenge his own pain.

 

 
EPISODE 5 RECAP

We rewind to the start of the day, and Soo-yeon is at her in-law’s house, making breakfast and getting Joon-soo ready for school. As she helps her son get dressed, she thinks back to when Hyun-woo had confronted her and Sun-woo in the hotel room. After Hyun-woo left, Sun-woo had received a phone call and departed as well, leaving Soo-yeon alone in the room.

In the present, little Joon-soo brings his mother back to reality when he gets his head stuck in his turtle neck. He asks Soo-yeon if he can go to an art class that one of his friends attends, and she promises to sign him up for it, earning a big smile from her son.

Picking up where we left off last week, Hyun-woo charges into the office where his wife’s lover works. Directed to a conference room, he stands nervously when Sun-woo arrives.

Hyun-woo starts to demand answers from the other man, but he’s interrupted when the lights suddenly cut off, and in trots a long line of employees with party hats and a cake. Heh, apparently it’s Sun-woo’s birthday, and Hyun-woo finds himself surrounded by a crowd of workers all singing to their boss.

Sun-woo uneasily blows out his candles and smiles, while Hyun-woo is relegated to the side of the well-wishers. Stunned and with no other option, Hyun-woo joins in the clapping. To make it even more ridiculous, Hyun-woo is pushed to the front for the most awkward birthday photo ever. (Say “kimchi!”)

Later, Hyun-woo relates the events to Yoon-ki and Joon-young, and both are gobsmacked to hear that he not only stood aside as his wife’s lover had a birthday party, but that he actually took a picture with the man.

Yoon-ki and Joon-young call Hyun-woo crazy, and instruct him to confront Sun-woo again with a fist to the face. Joon-young illustrates the advice with a punch, only for Yoon-ki to correct his form, demonstrating with a punch of his own. Soon, the two are in a full-on pantomime fight, and Hyun-woo, shaking his head at their antics, walks away. Neither notice.

At her work, Soo-yeon tries to get Joon-soo signed up for the art classes he requested. She has to nearly beg one of the other mothers, especially when the woman says that she’d be more inclined to help if Soo-yeon took the time to hang out with the other mothers more often.

Soon after, Soo-yeon receives some more bad news: She’s being taken off a big project that she’s been leading at the request of the client. Oh, it looks like the client is none other than Sun-woo’s company, and he’s the one who requested she be taken off the project.

To make matters worse, during the meeting with her boss, Soo-yeon misses a call from one of the mothers she was trying to contact. Afterward, she stares at the missed call, clearly overwhelmed with everything.

Hyun-woo’s team has found a new couple to interview, and everyone watches a filmed interview with the cuckolded husband. Bo-young suggests opening their program with interviews of the wives who were unfaithful.

When Hyun-woo points out it’d be difficult to find one of those women — let alone to get them to agree to being interviewed — one of the staff members says that there are a number of “infidelity matching apps” that have become available for cheating spouses looking for other adulterers to meet with.

They decide to sign up one of the men to the app service so that they can arrange a meeting with one of the women looking for an affair. When they wonder which of the men looks the most like someone who would use the app, everyone turns to Hyun-woo. Heh. Bo-young snaps his picture and gets to work creating Hyun-woo’s infidelity profile.

Yoon-ki’s secretary/mole ambushes him as soon as he steps out of this office, grinning as she informs him that his wife has signed up for flower arranging classes right here in the neighborhood. Yoon-ki grimaces a smile and grits out how great it will be that his wife can visit his office so easily. Retreating back to his office, he whines that he feels caged in, complaining that he has no joy anymore.

Just then, Yoon-ki sees a woman standing in the corner of his office, her back turned to him. Assuming she’s a client, he jumps up and immediately starts flirting, until he notices that not only is her skin very cold, but the woman is actually floating. He leaps back in horror as the ghost’s pretty face morphs into a grisly mask, eventually screaming himself awake at the desk where he’d dozed off.

Moaning that he hasn’t met with a woman in so long that he’s suffering withdrawal hallucinations, Yoon-ki slowly turns his head, only to realize that he’s surrounded by female ghosts. He huddles on his desk, whimpering. (That was random.)

A thoroughly disgruntled Hyun-woo gets ready for his “affair” with a woman the infidelity app matched him with. He grumbles that he’s the team leader, so why should he have to do this? Joon-young cheerfully replies that he’s too young, though he shuts up at the look his hyung sends him.

The team gives Hyun-woo special glasses with a recorder in the lenses and sends him on his way, promising that the woman they paired him with is young and pretty.

Hyun-woo heads to the café to meet his date, only to find that the woman is definitely a few years older than her profile picture. Hyun-woo nervously sits down, and the enthusiastic philandering woman eagerly sits right next to him, getting very handsy in the process.

Hyun-woo tries to subtly ask a few interview questions, but journalism ethics go out the window when the woman makes a grab for his derrière, exclaiming over how nicely toned it is. Pfft.

Hyun-woo leaps up and desperately whisper/yells into his hidden mic for his team to come to his rescue while his date coos, asking if he wants to head straight to a hotel.

Yoon-ki visits his wife at her flower arranging class, fibbing that he recently developed a pollen allergy to try and dissuade her from taking the classes. Coughing from his “allergies,” Yoon-ki makes for the exit, but he stops on a dime when the stunning instructor walks into the room.

The film crew sniggers as they watch the footage that Hyun-woo got of his “date.” Joon-young earns himself another glare when he argues that if Hyun-woo had just let that woman touch his butt, then they could have gotten more information out of her.

His part done, Hyun-woo gets up to leave, but stops to address the team. Annoyed that the husbands they’ve selected were all cowering and victimized, he tells them to make sure that it doesn’t seem like it’s always the husband’s fault. “These women aren’t cheating because of their husbands. They just like any man besides their husband. Let’s not turn the innocent husbands into sinners.” So much for objectivity.

After Hyun-woo departs, Joon-young proposes the team use the infidelity app one more time to interview someone else, offering himself as the “interviewer.” Bo-young asks if his wife won’t mind him going on a date with another woman, but Joon-young brushes it off, saying that his wife will understand because this is work.

At the flower arranging school, Yoon-ki sneaks in to find the instructor by herself. He introduces himself as Ara’s husband, and asks if he can take a class as well, claiming that he wants to make an arrangement for his wife as a birthday present. The teacher agrees, though Yoon-ki reminds her that it will have to be kept a secret.

Yoon-ki sneaks in the observation that the woman is working so late that it seems like she doesn’t have a husband waiting for her at home. She admits that she’s divorced, and Yoon-ki cheerfully announces that he’ll see her in class.

That night, the teacher heads to her car and finds a registration violation sticker on her car. Before she even has the chance to worry, Yoon-ki arrives around the corner. Being the sweet and helpful man that he is (cough cough), Yoon-ki helps remove the sticker and promises to register the car for her. The woman stares after him, already a little star-struck.

Hyun-woo returns to an empty house that night. As he wanders around the darkened (and messy) apartment, he sees visions of his wife making the bed or cooking his favorite foods, always with a smile for him. The memories fade, and Hyun-woo is left alone again.

Soo-yeon and Joon-soo are still staying with Hyun-woo’s mother. Joon-soo asks his mom about the art classes, and Soo-yeon says she’s trying to enroll him. The observant boy assures her that if it’s too hard, then he doesn’t have to go. He says that Dad told him not to give his mom a hard time, and that it was their job to protect her. His words bring tears to Soo-yeon’s eyes.

Unable to sleep, Hyun-woo searches for a movie to watch, but instead finds a small gift box. He stares at the leather wallet inside and remembers the birthday party that he unintentionally attended for Sun-woo. Coming to the conclusion that his wife must have bought the gift as a birthday present for her lover, Hyun-woo throws the wallet and screams in frustration.

At the office, the team wires Joon-young in preparation for his meeting with a new cheating wife. Bo-young puts the video glasses on for him, and Joon-young leans down right in her face and jokes, “I’m a good-looking man up close, right?” Bo-young agrees, saying that he looks just like one of the guys these adulterous women meet. Well, he was asking for that.

Yoon-ki has yet another planned/serendipitous meeting with the flower arrangement teacher, conveniently arriving just in time to help her with the broken lock on her door.

Newly enraged at finding his wife’s gift for her lover, Hyun-woo waits in the lobby of Sun-woo’s building, his nervous pacing drawing the attention of a security guard. Sun-woo enters the building and immediately spots Hyun-woo waiting for him. Hyun-woo angrily walks towards the other man, fist closed, but the security guard also marches forward. Scared, Hyun-woo settles for bumping against Sun-woo’s shoulder before awkwardly running out of the building.

Soo-yeon receives a text from one of the moms that they made space for Joon-soo in the art class. She happily texts back her thanks to the group thread, but immediately the other women send messages hinting that it’s so hard to pick up their kids every day. Sufficiently guilt-tripped, Soo-yeon reluctantly volunteers to pick up the other children.

Yoon-ki has his first flower arranging class, and the teacher looks completely smitten as Yoon-ki gushes about how his wife means everything to him. His plan plays out beautifully as the teacher asks him, “Do you know what kind of men women are most attracted to? It’s men they want to steal.”

Still playing the faithful husband, Yoon-ki turn away, but silently counts to three and smiles as the teacher pulls him around towards her. The two kiss, and Yoon-ki can add yet another notch to his player’s belt.

Joon-young attends his own interview/date, but sits frozen with nerves and staring at the pretty woman he’s meeting. Bo-young snaps into his earpiece to question the woman and not fall for her, so Joon-young shakes off his shock. The clandestine interview goes well until the woman notes that this must be Joon-young’s first time given all the questions.

When she asks about his own situation, Joon-young freezes again, and Bo-young urges him to make something up. Slowly, Joon-young tells the woman that his wife ran away three days after their honeymoon. The rest of the team moans that the story is too fantastical to believe, but Bo-young seems to wonder if it’s the truth.

Yoon-ki is busy reminiscing about his new conquest when Ara visits his office. She notes the rose smell, and Yoon-ki anxiously hides his lips, which she notices. Ara immediately heads to the arranging class and signs up for additional classes. But when the teacher steps outside, she grins to see Yoon-ki by the door. The two start going at it, just feet away from Ara.

Soo-yeon meets with Sun-woo at his office, both looking miserable and guilty. Soo-yeon gently says that it would have been better if he’d warned her before taking her off the project, but Sun-woo answers that he thought it best if they avoided contact with each other.

Sun-woo tells Soo-yeon that Hyun-woo came to see him, which shocks her. He smiles slightly as he says that Soo-yeon’s husband seems like a good man. He apologizes again for taking her off the project, regretful that things turned out this way.

Hyun-woo thinks about his second failed attempt to confront Sun-woo, sighing heavily as he fails to notice the sideways glances from Bo-young and Joon-young. The two return to watching the footage of Joon-young’s “date,” and Joon-young gloats over how well he did until Bo-young says the story of the runaway wife was too far-fetched.

Looking uncomfortable, Joon-young asks if it couldn’t happen then, to which Bo-young responds that for the wife to run away after three days of marriage, he’d have to have been an idiot, or too in love to see the signs. Ouch.

They’re interrupted when Hyun-woo randomly yells at the ceiling and storms out. Watching his departure, Bo-young guesses that his wife is having an affair. Joon-young chokes and tries to deny it, but Bo-young can tell he’s lying. He asks her to keep it to herself, since Hyun-woo would be uncomfortable if she knew.

Hyun-woo calls Soo-yeon and tells her that he confronted Sun-woo today. When she says she heard, he assumes she’s still meeting with the man. She tries to tell him that she broke it off and asks if they can’t fix the problems between them, but Hyun-woo snaps that she’s the one who cheated, so how can she act like she did nothing wrong? He rages that it isn’t fair that his whole world was turned upside down while both Soo-yeon and Sun-woo can walk around like nothing happened.

Hyun-woo hangs up angrily and then sees that Sun-woo confirmed his facebook friend request. (Why on earth would you confirm your lover’s husband’s friend request?) He starts looking through the man’s pictures and sees all the family shots he posted of his wife and children. Hyun-woo scoffs that a man who loves his family so much would cheat.

Hyun-woo stalks Sun-woo’s house and watches as he arrives home, his loving wife greeting him at the gate. Unable to take it anymore, Hyun-woo calls Sun-woo out to meet him in a nearby park. Finally confronting him alone, Hyun-woo demands to know if the affair really started six months ago. Sun-woo gloomily confirms it. Hyun-woo asks how far they went, and Sun-woo answers that they only slept together once, earning a punch from Hyun-woo.

Sun-woo apologizes again and again, but his calm demeanor angers Hyun-woo further. He yells at the unfairness that though Sun-woo and Soo-yeon are the ones at fault, he’s the only one getting hurt. Sun-woo tries to say that this was all his fault and that Soo-yeon had nothing to do with it, but his familiar use of Hyun-woo’s wife’s name earns him another punch, knocking him to the ground.

Hyun-woo thrusts his phone in Sun-woo’s face. He tells him to call his wife and tell her the truth, or Hyun-woo threatens to run to his house where Sun-woo’s children are sleeping and reveal everything himself.

With no other option, Sun-woo reluctantly calls his wife. As soon as she answers, Hyun-woo grabs the phone and nearly shouts at her, “Your husband is having an affair with my wife. I’ll let you hear the rest from him.” He shoves the phone back at Sun-woo, and the man sadly confirms that it’s true, apologizing to her.

Hyun-woo grabs his phone back and walks away. As he leaves, we hear his new post on the forum: “Everyone, I’ve finally gotten my revenge. I beat up the guy who cheated and let his wife know everything.” All the users immediately comment that he did a good job and cheer him on.

Hyun-woo’s number one fans, Grandma and Ajumma, are sitting outside the closed post office (where they’ve been using the computer). Grandma calls out to a passing young man, beckoning him closer.

They ask to borrow his phone and immediately look up Hyun-woo’s new post, and both are happy to see that he took his revenge. The young man snatches his phone back, and as he hustles off, Ajumma wonders if they should get one of those smartphones so they don’t have to keep traveling to the post office to use the internet.

Hyun-woo trudges home and collapses on his couch, only to find one of his son’s toys shoved between the cushions. He calls Joon-soo, smiling when his son affirms that he misses him, though he doesn’t answer when Joon-soo asks if he misses mom.

The next day, Yoon-ki cleverly dispatches his secretary by hinting that the handsome team member in Hyun-woo’s office is probably in the office alone. She dashes off, and Yoon-ki texts the flower teacher to come over. The teacher leaves the class to go see him, and Ara’s spidey senses lead her to follow, but she fails to catch them in the act since the clever Yoon-ki hid his new mistress under his desk.

The film team goes for a new approach this time, bringing both the husband and cheating wife in to interview together. As Joon-young directs the cameras, Bo-young and Hyun-woo watch the interview.

As husband and wife argue over whether or not the woman really did have an affair, Bo-young notes that there doesn’t seem to be a right answer. “Thinking about it, there seems to be no definite perpetrator or victim. You know, there’s a thing called willful negligence. Even knowing that their marriage will be in danger going on like this, there are many couples that don’t put in effort.” Her words reach Hyun-woo, but he doesn’t seem to agree.

In yet another strange Yoon-ki scene, his new lover showers him in flowers, literally. With a flower clenched between his teeth and smothered in kisses, the man looks like he could die happy.

Soo-yeon’s team member reports the progress on the project with Sun-woo’s company. Afterwards, Soo-yeon overhears the woman telling a coworker that it looked like Sun-woo had gotten into a fight recently.

That night, Hyun-woo walks home, Bo-young’s words echoing in his head. To his surprise, he finds Soo-yeon waiting for him. Still not ready to talk, Hyun-woo ignores his wife, until she asks if he got in a fight with Sun-woo.

Assuming once again that she’s meeting with the man, Hyun-woo mocks her, asking if she rushed to her injured lover’s side. Getting worked up, Hyun-woo reveals that he also told Sun-woo’s wife the truth about her husband, shocking Soo-yeon. She tries to say that this was their problem to solve, but Hyun-woo isn’t having it, yelling that he’s mad at everyone, including the man’s wife for not knowing the truth. So why, he asks, should he consider their feelings?

Holding back her own anger, Soo-yeon asks if he feels better now, and Hyun-woo unrepentantly yells back that he does. Hyun-woo grabs the wallet he found and tosses it at her, saying to give it to Sun-woo if she feels so bad for him, going so far as to taunt her to run away with the man.

Soo-yeon quietly says that the wallet was a present for Hyun-woo, but Hyun-woo just laughs in her face, yelling at her for her meekness. He rants, “How much more are you going to deceive me? Please, both of you stop acting like victims! I’m the one who got destroyed, and I’m the one in pain! I’m the victim, and you guys are the perpetrators!”

Nearly crying, Soo-yeon agrees that she’s the perpetrator. She says she’ll move out of the house, and promises to tell Hyun-woo’s mother the truth. Hyun-woo yells at her for wanting to reveal everything to his mom, who’s had such a hard life, clearly seeing her promise as a threat.

He paces back into the living room, thinking to himself that his wife is now retaliating. His eye catches on the wallet as he thinks, “This week, my wife is fighting back.” Taking a closer look at the wallet, he sees initials printed on it: DHW. Looks like Soo-yeon bought the wallet for Hyun-woo after all.

 
COMMENTS

I’m so glad we got to see Soo-yeon’s perspective this week, because it really painted the affair and its aftermath in a new light. I’m not saying that she was right to cheat, but I can finally understand how it could have happened. I admit that when we saw everything from purely Hyun-woo’s point of view, I was having a hard time being sympathetic to Soo-yeon. I hadn’t realized how thin she was spreading herself, or how overworked she was between her husband, son, and job. Hyun-woo had called her the perfect wife that made his own life so easy, but he’d never considered how much she’d sacrificed of her own life to be perfect for him.

Though, to be fair, while Hyun-woo never asked, it doesn’t look like Soo-yeon ever tried to share her burden. Clearly, Hyun-woo can be overbearing when it comes to his own opinion, but if Soo-yeon doesn’t feel comfortable confiding to her own husband, then there’s something deeply wrong with their relationship. Soo-yeon silently took all the work onto her own shoulders, hiding her growing stress with a smile. It makes sense then that she would be tempted by someone who gave her the attention, affection, and sympathy that she probably didn’t even know she was craving. Again, I’m not saying that she did the right thing, but I can understand.

I don’t mind saying that I was disappointed in Hyun-woo during this episode. I know that his whole world has been flipped around, and I get that he’s in pain and doesn’t know how to deal with it, but he really acted like a big child, only concerned with what he saw as “fair,” and trying to make everyone else hurt like he was hurting. We can see it when he told his staff that these cheating wives had affairs simply because they wanted to, and that their husbands were victimized innocents. Then again in the last scene when Hyun-woo yelled at his wife that she was the perpetrator and thus didn’t deserve to act like a victim. He’s taking such an infantile view of the world, always yelling that he’s right and refusing to see things from another’s perspective.

I can’t say if Hyun-woo’s actions were wrong or right – I’m not sure anyone can – but I found myself shaking my head when he called Sun-woo’s wife to reveal the truth about her husband. Telling the wife may have been the right thing to do, but he did it out of anger. He hurt her because he wanted someone other than himself to be in pain, not because he felt she deserved to know. He was lashing out, and this poor woman had to learn of her husband’s infidelity while she was right next to her sleeping children. Hyun-woo was so busy blaming everyone else and asserting himself as the victim, that he didn’t realize he was becoming the aggressor.

Not only was Hyun-woo blind to his wife’s stress, but apparently he’s missed that his best friend’s wife ran away. Shouldn’t he find it suspicious that he never met with Joon-young’s wife once during the years they were married? Granted, we haven’t gotten the confirmation that Joon-young’s wife really did split after their honeymoon, but given his pained and honest expression, I don’t think it’s too big a leap to conclude that he was telling the truth. I’m both relieved and saddened to find out that Joon-young isn’t truly married, because while it no longer makes him sleazy for being interested in Bo-young, having your wife run out on you less than a week after your marriage isn’t a fate I’d wish on anyone. Hopefully Hyun-woo can put a halt on his personal pity party long enough to see that his friend is hurting too.

The late introduction of Soo-yeon’s perspective was a rather brilliant stroke on the show’s part. We’ve been so busy putting Hyun-woo in the victim’s seat and making Soo-yeon the aggressor, and now it’s apparent that there isn’t a clear cut victim or perpetrator. No black and white, or right and wrong. We’re all just human, doing the best we can with our own flaws. At this point, Hyun-woo has to open his eyes to his own flaws and see the pain he’s causing others on his search to forgive before he does something he’ll need forgiveness for.

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Just dropping by to say that I love Joon-young! Lee Sang-yeob is doing such a good job here that I totally buy his character. I also wonder if he himself realised that he has a crush on Bo-young, because it seems like he's still in denial. It's obvious to us that he likes her more than a co-worker, what with the extra attention he pays to her, his tendency to tease her and the occasional jealousy (especially during her blind date). I hope this ship will sail because they're so cute together.

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Also, I am glad that they're slowly showing us the other side of the coin of Hyun-woo and Soo-yeon's marriage. I look forward to seeing more revelations. Yoon-ki is a waste of space on this surface of the earth and has zero redeeming quality. Ara deserves better and she should kick him to the curb sooner than later.

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Bo-young at this stage of the game needs to get her act together and except Joon-Young into her life. It's time for her to open her eyes and her heart so she can see that J.Y care a lot for her. He has shown his feeling through out the episodes. Doing little things here and there. He has gone alone with all the things she has done and said to him. If B.Y really have know interest in J.Y she should get serious and ask him to exit. To be truthful I think she has feeling for him but I think her past (divorce ) is causing her to have doubts about starting up another relationship. There is a baby on the way time to get serious.

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I was eagerly waiting for the Recap. I love this show. Thank you CandidClown for the recap.

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Thanks for the recap! I agree that Hyunwoo's actions were childish in this episode but as someone who has been cheated on before you definitely lose your mind for a bit until you snap out of it and realize the damage you've done. I'm excited to see things from Sooyeon perspective.

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I totally agree. You cant help it. He's incredibly broken. His wife didnt even try to say sorry or hold on to him when he first confronted her. To think they've been together for years, 14 years i think. I could truly understand his pain. I'll be surprised if he just let it go. He'll eventually snap out of it.

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Totally agree with you! I'd probably be MUCH more childish if I were in his position, to all be honest.

Thank you for your recap! Also, I like that this drama dares to go to ALL the dark and uncomfortable places yet injects light heartedness into the issue, cause otherwise I'd be depressed all over. What's with the world issue and kdrama world, I need my lightheartedness where I can get 'em!

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The show is doing a good job at peeling back their layers each episode, I keep coming back because I want to know more of Sooyeon's story and we're getting there bit by bit.
I'm fine with Hyunwoo being angry and mad at everything that has unfolded but at the same time I'm getting fed up with his antics, I just wonder what it'll be that will finally make him snap out of it and start looking at his marriage from a non-objective view.

Somebody explain to me in detail why we have to see Yoon-ki get it on ?. Enough already with his philandering ways and playing Ah Ra for a fool, I swear his scenes are becoming more and more unnecessary.

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Well,how about this:maybe hyunwoo is still acting childish because his wife haven't apologize?

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Hyunwoo can be angry all he wants but don't put Joon-soo's needs on the back-burner just because of his own feelings nor do I believe it justifies him telling the other guys wife about the affair due to spite as opposed to genuine concern that she should know the truth.
As for the apology, we're all waiting for that sincere conversation between the two but until that time where Hyunwoo isn't running on just emotions and everything ends with either one cutting the other off or yelling, we won't be seeing it.

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I think it's good that he told the guy's wife about him cheating. She deserved to know the truth!!

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We agree that Hyum-Woo should have told this guy's wife. While he's out cheating his wife is home with their kids.What lies was he tell her when he was out there with his mistress. Sun-Woo's wife met with H.W later on and in the conversation thanked him for telling her. Thanking him sounds like he has her approval.

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I am so happy there is someone other than myself that feels this character is useless. I fell to see any significant for this to even be in these episodes. This guy is a nothing a nobody. He's like a dog chasing his tail. He's got a beautiful wife that take care of him preparing all those delicious meals always there for him. He think he is so smart but she was smarter in the end he proved to be the fool and lost it all good.

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I like how realistic everything was so far. I can never condone cheating, but as viewers we get to see the flaws and how everyone got to where they are. I agree that Soo-Yeon should have spoken of her burdens more, but maybe there's a cultural aspect of it that I'm missing. He can't understand her perspective because maybe as a man he's been brought up differently.

That aside, she should have really tried to talk to him about their marriage earlier on. I don't get either what she expects from a 6 month affair (enjoy it indefinitely or...yeah, break up with the husband eventually).

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hello,come on, dont try to defend soyeon, she is clearly in the wrong here... she is THE CHEATER for fuck sake........ i support hyunwoo action for informing the wife of the other guy..it was the right way....

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You know I always felt that cheating was one of the worst things someone could do but I think sometimes people go a little overboard. I'm not saying what she did was right but it's not like she murdered someone she doesn't need to be burned at the stake like a witch.

And that is something this show is trying to show that things aren't so black and white. Did Hyun Woo deserve to be cheated on? No.

Does Soo Yeon deserve to be yelled at and ridiculed? Maybe a little but not for weeks on end.

As for informing the wife there were millions of other ways he could have done it. I agree the wife should know that her Husband was cheating but I disagree that the way she learned was the "right way".

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She murdered her family. That's what adultery does. She had many ways to address issues that didn't involve bringing another man into the bed. Now she's upset because the guy's wife also knows? She was fine when everyone was in the dark. Her conscience seems compromised.

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Murdering her family sounds extreme. I'd say if anyone murdered her family it was that lady from the previous episodes who didn't feel guilty at all and even admitted to hating her kid cause she reminded her or her husband. Now that was cold hearted.

Anyway it just seems messed up that lots of people are saying Sooyeon is the worst person ever but with the Lawyer guy it's supposed to be comedic. He may not have kids but its disgusting.

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THANK YOU! Omg finally someone who I can totes agree with. The wife is getting on my nerves cos it's her fault for everything that Hyun woo is doing. ARGHH??

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Hmm interesting you say that it's not like she murdered someone but what if she did contract AIDS from sleeping around and then gave it to her unsuspecting husband so would it then make it really horrible? The truth is that when you cheat on your spouse you are exposing yourself and your spouse to deadly STD's which makes it no different then attempted murder in my book. Also thank you for the response below since adultery is the murder of relationships and the family. How any parent can choose their sexual desires over the mental health and welfare of their child is beyond me.

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Exactly! She did try to murder her family through her infidelity. Just because she wasn't getting enough sex from Hyun woo she went and bedded another man. How disgusting! She is as horrible as the fleebag lawyer. ???

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That's stretching it. We don't really have to contemplate this as if there were a criminal dimension to make the point that what they did was reprehensible. This is not something they could make even by using a condom (which they might as well have done).

While the humiliation they inflicted on their partners was a part of it. The most salient point is that they broke their partners' trust. That could happen between friends, and in principle could have nothing to do with sex (polyamorous individuals sleep with other people, for example, but there is no betrayal or breach of trust involved).

I can agree with the metaphor, that cheating is among the most humiliating, callous and hurtful thing you can do. And being the person said individual trusts and loves most, you doing that is the most hurtful. It basically tells your partner that your are so egotistical and self involved that your own issues and problems matter more than giving her or him some basic human respect. Actions speak louder than words, and this action says "I don't care about you". In relative terms, not compared to my own problems and stresses or desires.

That does not mean you have to stay in a loveless relationship. Your partner is not entitled to your love, but it is entitled to some basic dignity and respect.

I agree tangentially to the child part, in that if there is no love I think that divorce would be preferable, and mature adults can agree to break up amicable without disrespecting each other. That's different from breaking someone's trust.

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I think that's a straw man. In terms of setting boundaries, I don't think that the threshold should be that of saying "okay, but she was not genocidal". Of course she wasn't. But it's not as if what is unacceptable to do to another person stops at not killing him, or his dog, or committing a crime. Had she done that, she should be punished by the law, I don't think that the show conveyed that's what she deserves in any way. The punishment of being an asshole is not jail, it's the social consequences of people realizing you are an asshole and reacting accordingly.

I also disagree with things not being "black and white". Lack of attention and humiliating your partner, breaking her or his heart, are both issues. The same way a caugh and cancer are issues. Doesn't mean they are comparable issues, or in any way on the same plane morally. I don't think that there is any ambiguity, it's not really a moral dilemma whether what she did was good or bad, reprehensible or not.

If you are fighting with someone and you throw the first punch, that's a distinction that matters, morally. It's an escalation, a 1000 to a 10. That's not really the right analogy. More like deliberately insulting vs being rude without meaning to. There is lack of communication for which both are culpable for. Not deliberate. There is breaking someone's trust. Deliberate.

Stress and feeling ignored are *a* reason for what she did. Not *a good* reason. If he cheated on her? Fair game. Though she should leave him. If he was physically abusive? Fair game, though she should leave him and go to the police. In other cases, a human being deserves the basic level of respect of you not lying to him for half a year. That's not a mistake, that's a deliberate action repeated across time. If you are simply feeling shitty, that doesn't give you the right, and more importantly it's not a valid reason, to take it out on someone else. Though we understand he path from A to B here, we also understand what it makes you, morally. namely an asshole. That's what it makes her, and to him to the extent to which he wanted to intentionally harm the guy's wife, who had done nothing to hurt him (though that's not a case of doing something wrong, as she should have been informed, but simply of not having entirely pure motivations).

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Telling the guy's wife was vindictive, especially the way he did it - grabbing her husband's phone and screaming into it. Hyun Woo wasn't doing it for her sake, he was doing it because he was hurting and he wanted Sun Woo to be in as much pain as possible. The wife was only a tool to hurt Sun Woo with.

He did something with evil intent and selfish motivations. That is never the "right way".

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Sunwoo should have told his wife right away when they've been found out by the husband.nothing remains a secret.
They should of thought that one day someone will know what they're doing and will tell their spouses.

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I agree Sun Woo should tell his wife - I just think Hyun Woo was completely out of line and hurt a completely blameless person by doing what he did in the way he did it.

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I beg to differ. The wife deserved to know and its better she got to know sooner than later. You can't say she wouldn't have been any less hurt if her husband told her what hyun woo told her. You make no sense. ??

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While I agree that intent matters, I think that this is being overstated. He didn't do anything wrong, he did something correct for the wrong reasons.

In my opinion, it's not all that clear that he wanted a "fellow sufferer" to hurt the same as him. Even if that was the case, I think that it would be only one of the reasons , on top of wanting to hurt him -totally legitimate and undestandable-, and wanting to inform her of something that she should be unanbiguously informed of -she has the right to not be deceived and make her own choices, they *do not* have the right to keep her in the dark for their own convenience, or pretend that *it's best for her*, or that they have a right to choose when to face the consequences of their actions-. I see the presence or absence of their children irrelevant -the time and location wouldn't really have made the situation any better or worse in my opinion-.

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I don't agree. Wanting to hurt the guy would be perfectly normal and natural, it's not a huge moral failure of any kind, it would be strange if he didn't feel that way. Acting on it is different, he shouldn't have punched him. Telling his wife is another story, that's unambiguously the moral thing to do.

They don't have any right to continue to deceive her as long as they like. They don't have the right to arbitrarily decide what's best for her, that's not their decision to make, she has to decide for herself. It's also not "their issue", as long as there are other people involved that are being deceived. They are not entitled to any privacy on this matter (it's not a stranger's business, but it's certainly their partner's business).

Hurting his wife to share his misery, to the extent that it was what he was doing, would be reprehensible, as she didn't do anything to him. But it's not a case of *doing* something wrong, merely of his motives being varied, and not completely pure. Hating those who have hurt you is natural, hating someone who did nothing to you is unfair, she doesn't deserve it as she is a victim, like him.

That said, I don't think he should focus so much on the guy, as he is almost a non entity in this issue. The operative component here is his wife. The same way he didn't *cause* her to cheat because of his lack of attention, he didn't *cause* her to cheat because of his advances or availability. She is not a car that gets turned on and off by a key, she is a human being that has to be held accountable for her own decisions. If she was willing to cheat, as she was, if it was not him it would have been another guy. If she wasn't, the other guy could have done anything and nothing would have happened. He didn't force her to do anything.

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So coming from the other side. I am a woman who had an affair a year ago. I, like Soon Yeon, had no intention of ruining my family or leaving my husband for the other man. When my husband found out though, I always knew how wrong I was, and apologized with utter remorse. My husband did not respond with grace and concern for what he may have done to cause me to have an affair as that is just ridiculous. He was hurt and I knowingly caused that. He was angry and I deserved it. I could have tried to fix my marriage before the affair, but I chose not to.
Hyun woo reacted with such realism.
In the end we are still married, because what scared him most was losing me and the effect it might have on our child. I see that in Hyun woo too and he might respond differently if Soon Yeon made any attempt to show remorse and a desire to rebuild.

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Thanks for your story, Joanne. I'm with you on this one. I had a philandering husband who hurt me terribly but I loved him so much that I stayed with him. I eventually fell in love with a kind friend but my husband couldn't forgive that at all. There was a definite double standard at play. We stayed married for 15 years. My daughter was 12 at the time and urged me to leave her dad. Everything worked out in time and there's love all around now.
A note to all: believe it or not, affairs DO NOT have to end a marriage. Sometimes truth helps a relationship grow, heal and become stronger than ever before. You actually will never know how you truly feel until you separate and take some time apart. That action tends to bring people back together or complete the break-up.

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I think apology is the first step of healing.

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Yes to apologizes is the start of the healing process but you need the opportunity to do so without the person you are apologizing to yelling at you and loosing control in the conversation. If you have notice Soo-Yeon when being dressed down ( yelled at in a loud voice) shuts down and become quiet and child like. I think her husband could have accomplished a lot more by keeping the conversation on an even and low key. Yes her respond or like of respond was nerve wrecking to say the least. Under the circumstances I under stand her husband being upset. There is a saying you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. Be nice even though it may hurt to do so.

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Exactly! His wife didnt even bother apologising and really regretting her affair. Its disgusting. I despise HW's wife so much. Her character is pathetic imo.

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While I still stand behind my opinion of cheating and people who would be willing to do that, and people who wouldn't, and I notice that your husband had to discover it (meaning that you didn't confess it to him, giving him the option of making of it what he will, potentially leaving you), I can at least respect the self awareness shown here. It's one thing for a self centered narcissist to hurt you, it's another thing for him to a complete lack of awareness of what she did to you. She is self centeredly focused more on her reasons, which he should immediately jump to understand, even if they are not good reasons (that's what it is: if one has a bad day and takes it out on someone else, we get the path from A to B... we also get that she or he is an asshole: she or he had *a reason*, not *a good reason*). "But what about my problems", etc., he should shower her with understanding and equanimity after basically catching them red handed? Let's not forget that she has been deceiving him for half a year -now suddenly the priority is on hearing her point of view-.

I can't say I would have reacted like him in this case. For starters, the fact that your partner cheated on you should tell you that the map was not aligned with the territory, to us a phrase from cognitive science, in that you love a person with certain characteristics, someone who would never cheat on you, and then you discover he or she did. This means that that person was not who you thought she or he were, at least in that respect, and thus who you love and who you are married to are not the same person, or to put it better, that person doesn't exist in the real world, but only in your mind. You were simply deluded, and should update your judgment according to the new information. If I trusted someone with my secrets and he spilled it to someone else, I would update my judgment of him with this consideration and probably not confine anything important to him anymore. This is simply starting from a position of scarcity, and fearing that your current position is as good as it's gonna get, while in reality it could easily be better (you could be with someone who loves you and wouldn't cheat on you, for starters, which seems like a pretty low bar, personality wise).

I don't think the child should enter the equation one way or the other. In other answers I have said that while cheating with a kid might seem like somewhat worse, neither the sex nor the kid ar the main point, but rather the breach of trust, which could also happen between friends. I don't think that one should stay in a marriage with someone one doesn't love for the sake of keeping the family together. And if one was perfectly honest with her or himself, one would realize the basic point of the person one has feelings for not being the person who you found cheating. The love was for the former, who didn't exist, the latter might as well be a twin: externally like the former, but differing in fundamental...

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Question is about Hyun Woo's intentions. Wife deserved to know about it. But Hyun Woo was clearly malicious at that time.

He was mildly like "my family is burned and yours doing fine?" Let's make it a fair trade

Why Hyun Woo never told Ae Ra anything about Yoon Ki disgusuting acts?

Funny thing is Adultery different vibes in 'On the way to the Airport' and 'here.'

Seo Yoon is clearly at fault. And show is trying force the audience to sympathise with her.

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I have not watched On the Way to the Airport and not planning to. I have heard that it is shot beautifully and the whole story is beautifully told. But no one has done a direct comparison between the two. Could you perhaps elaborate on the different vibes between these two shows? Very interested to see how each approaches the difficult subject. And do you like one way over the other?

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I also haven't watch OTWTTA. Just short youtube videos - Recap threads discussion and numerous comments on various streaming sites. Here Seo Yeon has enraged most of the viewers but in OTWTTA audiences response is more neutral. Most easily noticeable is the way Characters perspective is shown and the way spouses are presented.

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OTWTTA is told from the POV of the cheaters, basically. I love the show and think it did a fantastic job of showing how unintentional an affair can be, especially when it's framed as finding someone who just wholly understands you at your most essential rather than someone you lust after.

In the case of OTWTTA the protagonists are very aware and careful - not careful "not to get caught", but careful with each other and being considerate. We view each of them in their lives and realize what's missing and why this connection is so unbreakable.

That actually struck me when his wife spoke about Sun Woo - she's not completely drawing a line. It's possible that she has also reached a point where her internal compass has changed so completely that she will divorce Hyun Woo no matter what, because she knows he's wrong for her altogether. And there's every chance she's tried to salvage things with him and he steamrolled her. She would have had to mention divorce to actually get him to listen.

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Yeah the show is trying to make people have sympathy with her. I bet its created by someone who cheated on her husband. I hate seo yoo or whatever her name is. Her character is the worst! I hope hyun woo never forgives her and leaves her.??

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With Soo-Yeon Not forgetting she got caught cheating in real time (you play you pay). it's like a love hate situation. on one hand you sympathize with what she was dealing with daily. On the other hand she chose to solve her problems by having an affair. Now how she came to this conclusion baffles me to no end. So she starts an affair but the problems are still there now she's adds another problem bigger (affair) than all the problems before. I fail to see the logic in this. We can take it a step further. Soo -Yeon the wife don't forget did a lot of planning for the six mos. affair on her on. making hotel reservations going out and buying new outfits colorful undies new shoes the works but none of this for her husband but for her lover. Just saying, before getting too soft this innocent looking wife she's not so innocent. If this is not enough lets go back to where she said of her lover. I want to see him I want to be with him. when we are together I don't think of my husband, my child, my home nor my job. I think if the cheating husband wanted the cheating wife she would have left her husband. But it turned out she was just a thing to be used and move on leaving her to go back to second best her husband crying alligator tears and her innocent looking face. Love her are hate her which do you choose.

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I don't usually comment or feel compelled to comment but this drama seems to bring me to want to share my thoughts about it, and the discussion on my usual drama-watching site further fueled this. The first few episodes of TWMWWHAA were hilarious and completely sucked me in, but the the recent episodes and this episode in particular has made me rather uncomfortable.

Before I start, let me just say I do not condone cheating. Ever. That being said, while I feel very deeply for Hyun-woo for being cheated on, I have to say that some of his actions - the one where he exposed the affair to Sun-woo's wife and the way he did it - made me very uncomfortable. Hyun-woo is the victim of Soo-yeon's affair. That is undeniable. But his actions of revealing the truth to the wife and the way he did it - his actions don't exactly give him much of a moral high ground to stand upon as well. Just because he is feeling angry and hurt and the victim in this narrative does not give him the license to 'repay' the hurt to Sun-woo's wife as well (he claims she should know you can argue that Sun-woo's wife should know, yes, but not from him.). That scene made me very uncomfortable because the previous episodes have shown that there were cracks in the relationship and a reason for Soo-yeon's actions (again, not excusable) but Hyun-woo's always kept his moral high ground and 'victim' label.

But this episode has overturned that by showing us what lies behind Soo-yeon's constantly smiling facade, and also shown us that Hyun-woo really is too emotionally-charged at this point of time (which is understandable) and too consumed by his idea of 'fairness' that he can resort to hurting an innocent party just to inflict his version of justice (which honestly, while understandable, is very difficult for me to side with).

The slow revealing of Soo-yeon's thoughts has been very interesting to watch. It was and is so easy to blame her for everything that has happen thus far but I really like that as the episodes progress, another layer is removed from Soo-yeon's motivations and thoughts, and we get to peek into her perfect life as wife, mother and worker only to find that it isn't so picture perfect at all. I do hope that we'll get to see even more of this in upcoming episodes. From what I've seen so far, it's beginning to become clearer why she would give in to the temptation of having an affair, especially since her relationship with Hyun-woo seems to have stalled.

The both of them really need to communicate more, and it's definitely a failure on both their parts that led to this breakdown. While I do think Soo-yeon is ultimately at fault for the affair, Hyun-woo needs to calm down and have a long talk with his wife about the relationship before deciding whether it's worth salvaging rather than continue with his tantrum before his rage-fueled, thoughtless actions lead to something worse.

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How many of us would be able to keep calm in a situation like this. Very few of us. It was an affair for whole of 6 months. Try imagining how you'd feel if you were in his shoes and see if you'd be rational, calm and all. If you can, that's good but really few of us can do that.

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I am totally rooting for Hyun woo. I sympathise with him and i think his actions are what anyone would do if they were in his shoes. He did nothing wrong by telling the bastards wife her husband cheated on her.

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Your point is well taken. It was very very heart breaking for Hyun-Woo to catch his wife cheating on him not thinking all the years they have been married his wife would cheat. But after saying all that I think if he had stayed
calm he could have accomplished a lot more. When H.W started raising his voice and yelling he lost the advantage of having control of the conversation. Oddly enough when he started yelling that worked more to the advantage of the cheaters. Had he shown he was in control by being calm he would put them on the defense. They expected him to respond in the manner he did (angry).To have stayed low key would have increased the guilt they already felt. If you notice the two cheaters stayed low key for most of the conversation. Being calm and asking the right question and commenting in a way that convicted the cheaters his wife would have begged him for forgiveness and followed him out of the room when he walked out. But by him yelling she knew once alone it would continue.

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I agree with you greyy. The part when Hyun Woo told Sunwoo's wife about the affair is uncomfortable to watch. I am baffled by how people think it is ok or understandable just because he is hurt by his wife. Yes, he is a victim but that doesn't mean we have to accept all his actions do we? Being hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt others. Furthermore, he didn't do it out of concern for Sunwoo's wife. He did it with the intention of hurting Sunwoo and the wife. In the last part during the conversation with Soo Yeon, you can tell that he even blamed Sunwoo's wife for the affair, for not keep a close watch on her husband.

I also notice the hypocrisy in Hyun Woo's action towards extramarital affair. When the husband were the ones who got cheated, he got upset and see them as absolute victims, not wanting to find out if the husbands play a part in the failed marriage. When the wife got cheated, it became their fault for not keeping a close watch on their husband. If he really feels so strongly about affair, why didn't he inform Ara about Yoon Ki? Not only that, he even helped Yoon Ki to cover up.

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I can agree with your points that the revealing of the extramarital affair was uncomfortable. That he didn't reveal the affair to Sun Woo's wife because he cared about their relationship, he did it because he wanted them to hurt as much as he does. And that Hyun Woo is a hypocrite for covering up his friend's affairs but wanting justification for his own situation.

However, I don't see the justification as to why it's acceptable for Soo Yeon to fall into temptation just because her marriage has stalled. If you can see as to why she had the affair then why not see why he's throwing tantrums and making thoughtless actions?

Soo Yeon has already made things worse. She didn't reach out to her husband to explain why she had the affair. She doesn't have to wait for him to calm down or talk about it face to face. An email, voicemail, even a text would suffice. Apologize through those means. Don't stay quiet. Why should Hyun Woo have to be the rational one to sit her down and talk about it when she hasn't even reached out to apologize? She's staying at her in-laws and the next time she sees her husband is when she hears that he fought with her ex-lover. To me, that is childish. If you've done wrong, you admit it, apologize and face the consequences. You don't hide and wait for things to blow over.

I won't try to justify Ara's affairs. But if one can feel sympathy for Soo Yeon in being in a broken marriage then why couldn't you feel sympathy for Ara's affairs? Clearly, something is wrong in his marriage too. We just haven't seen his side of the story, and may never will. The way that Ara has his affairs are disgusting but you can't forget that Soo Yeon met up with her lover, at a hotel, in broad daylight. Maybe not necessarily 'sneaking' around but she was sly about it.

Should Hyun Woo tell his friend's wife about the affairs? Of course! That's the moral thing to do. But in reality, we cover up for our friends even when they've done wrong. And yes, it hypocrisy at its best.

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No, as you've said, there isn't any justification for Soo-yeon falling into an affair. I can understand though, why she would want to do it. Doesn't make it right at all. For Hyun-woo, I can see where he's coming from and why is thoughtlessly acting on his anger. That said, that doesn't make it right as well. I do think Sun-woo's wife needed to be told but the intent matters, and the intent behind Hyun-woo's actions were wrong.

Regarding Soo-yeon, there are no excuses that can be made for her, but the show has shown how difficult it is for her to hold a calm conversation with Hyun-woo. Maybe she should be more persistent to make herself heard, but with Hyun-woo's behaviour right now, it'd be difficult since he's currently not concerned about listening to her and instead focused on his narrative of how things are.

It's been very insightful to read your comments about the drama. (:

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Maybe you are a saint, but when I was deeply hurt by a friend, I was very angry and wanted them to hurt badly as well. I didn't act on those feelings, but Hyun Woo's pain is also deeper than mine.

Hyun Woo actions are understandable. I also think that the other wife deserved to know. Telling the wife in that manner may not be a generous action, or even a considerate one, but it is not necessarily wrong. I think that punching the guy was more wrong than telling the guy's wife about the affair.

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I think punching the guy was a bit much. Then he go and tell his friends he beat the guy up. He failed to mention it was all one sided and that the guy never tried to defended himself. Why didn't he punch him at the hotel? That seem to have been the appropriate time at the scene of the affair if he was going to get physical. Now about telling Sun-Woo's wife about the affair. I think he was right on other wise she would not have known. I can just see Sun-Woo going home and saying honey I just left from having an affair that I've been involved in for six mos and we had sex give me a break please. The reason for telling his wife dose it matter? Maybe the next fish he encounter he want be so eager to reel her in.

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I have to disagree on some part of your opinion. I think the show has never showed that Hyun Woo actually blame the wife when the husband is cheating, instead I actually remembered him scolding Yoon Ki for cheating on Ara. Honestly, if a friend of mine is cheating, I would never tell on her/his partner despite my objection on adultery, firstly because my loyalty lies with my friends not their partner and also, it's their personal businesses. I'd rather nag on my friend for cheating on their partner rather than telling on them.

If I am in Hyun Woo's shoes, I might have called Sun Woo's wife right away on the second I knew that Sun Woo is married. I am indeed a little disappointed on Hyun Woo for telling Sun Woo's wife in order to break Sun Woo's family as a revenge eventhough I understand the anger. What irritates me more is Soo Yeon's reaction on knowing it. It's as if she cares more about Sun Woo rather than her own husband, It actually seems like she staying away from Sun Woo just to protect him from Hyun Woo's anger. Now that Hyun Woo actually snapping and went to Sun Woo, she also won't stand him anymore.

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Mte. Every person reacts in different ways.this is how
Hyun woo dealt with his feelings.if only the wife apologize.apology can really heal a broken heart.but instead,she was angry that hyunwoo revealed the affair to sunwoo's wife.if only they told the wife about the affair and then apologize.

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I have to agree with another commenter below that if my friend cheats, I wouldn't tell the partner. Why? Because I am loyal to my friend. I was actually recently in such a situation, where my friend was cheating on her boyfriend. I had absolutely no intention of telling him, because that is their relationship and I am an outsider....it's just not my place. But I did encourage her to break up with him. It was what she wanted anyway....she just wanted him to do the breaking up/get her subtle hints that the relationship was over. Anyway, two weeks later, she texted me to say that she properly broke up with him and I was proud of her. To me, that is what I can do as a friend, but to tell the other partner is stepping out of line.

Hyun Woo reprimanded the lawyer about his cheating and it's obvious he doesn't think it's okay. I think as a friend of the cheater who doesn't condone cheating, you are in an awkward position and that's how Hyun Woo (and I) dealt with being in that position.

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Actually, I just remembered that within those two weeks, I was a bit distant with her. I don't think I was going to break off the friendship, at least not at that point....the situation was just disturbing and shocking and I remember thinking to myself that I needed some time to think about what to do (even though it wasn't my relationship) since it goes against my principles. But maybe that's what pushed her to make the move in the end, since we both value each other's friendship.

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I certainly feel for Hyun-woo here. Sometimes when you learned that the person who means the whole world to you suddenly cheated, you cant help but be illogical because the whole world just crashed on you. Its like your heart suddenly exploded by a bomb. You cant help but be angry. And when you love a person you do crazy things, same thing when if this person betrayed you. I disagree about the comment that Hyun-woo is being childish. Because in love you use your heart and not your mind. I just felt his actions felt real. Give the guy a break, he's broken. Do you expect him to be so logical about it.
Also I agree that the wife deserves to know that his husbnd cheated. I feel that when learning the truth there is no right or wrong timing. The sooner the better. Unless the person is incredibly sick and learning the truth might risk his life, the sooner the better.

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This show so far imo is wonderful. Yes, it has its flaws *looking at you Yoon ki. But I think as relationships go the one Hyunwoo and Sooyeon has is not totally unrealistic.they both seem like good people who over the course time got too caught up in their own lives and work that they lost touch with each other. I think if they could find their way back they could have a happy marriage again. Hyunwoo is a good guy from what we have seen but he obviously knows very little about his wife and what goes on in her life. He simply took her for granted and no, that is not an excuse to cheat but after a long time being constantly pushed aside and not made to be a priority could cause someone to latch on to attention from another source. I also understand Hyunwoo is hurting and he's in pain but he really needs to think about how he is reacting to this information. If he wants to reconcile constantly lashing out at her is not the right way to act. I also think he keeps lashing out at her because everytime she talks to him the first thing she asks is about Sunwoo. Unintentionally she is making it seem like he's her concern. They both are at fault for causing a misunderstanding. She obviously wants to keep her marriage but he's in no place emotionally to try and fix it.

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Yoon-ki is so extreme that he provides comic relief from the heartbreak of main couple's marital debacle.

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I still can't agree to infidelity. Not on the level of Soo Yeon. Yes, there are times when we might be at the verge of breaking the vows we make to our better halves but that is the true test of loyalty and trust. Soo Yeon has failed, the mess will be something that her husband, her own child have to face. Also, she has helped possibly ruin another marriage. Of course blame lies to the other person as well but she is a woman, woman aren't supposed to do that to another woman. Its easy from a perspective of outsider to try to understand her but any one of us would hate to be on a situation like this, I ask what we'd feel. It won't be so easy to try to see her view of the world.
Also, its hard for her is a poor excuse. Its always hard on a lot of us in a lot of different ways. That's no excuse to cheat on your spouse. Its disgusting, it makes me sick to my stomach, I think I'll drop this show. I can't root for her but that call is her husband's to make but still I feel sick about it for some weird reason.

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Relaxed, this just a drama, I though this drama is brilliant, about the issue, which almost happen in "real" situation.. So, I though you can continue watching this drama, because in next episode, will show, what will happen toward their marriage, how they will handle of the situation, how they will save their marriage/or just divorced, their son will save their marriage?why Soo Yeon cheating on Hyun Woo, maybe because of his mistake in past?Cheating is kind of disgusting thing, not even for someone who called wife but someone who called husband too..I just dont want give spoiler about I know in Japanese version, about her husband big mistake on past, maybe Korean version make little bit different from Japanese version, so keep watching and enjoy..Sometime we will blame someone who we saw in our eyes they do mistake, but behind the mistake maybe had something that make someone acting/reacted like that..But cheating is cheating, its kinda not forgiving..

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"Also, she has helped possibly ruin another marriage. Of course blame lies to the other person as well but she is a woman, woman aren’t supposed to do that to another woman."

Truly understand how you feel about the cheating, but putting more weight on women seems a little wrong to me. Cheating is an act committed by two, too often I see women will be the one receiving more damage than men.

I don't know what is your gender, but if you condemn cheating you should condemn each involved party equally. Rather than saying, "she is a woman so she should not do this to another women", we should tweak our mindset to believe, anyone, men or women should never do this and whoever did this is equally responsible. Nobody should ruin the happiness of anybody.

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I am a woman and I've seen from a my perspective in reality woman often doing the worst damage to each other and hence that sentiment, I am not going easy on the guy though. He did as much damage as Soo Yeon. They are both ruining their own family with their own hands and for what, love?? I doubt that?? I just can't connect to Soo Yeon, her reasons don't feel compelling enough to me.

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Is why i didn't watch on the way to the airport.
As for this show,i stop at ep.1 i just pop up here to see if the wifey really have an affair.

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I have to wonder how many of the people who insist that hyunwoo should have let the other man spill the beans are married. The generally accepted wisdom from most infidelity communities is that you tell the other betrayed spouse immediately, before the cheaters have the opportunity to get rid of evidence and formulate a cover story. Thus far he actually seems pretty tame. I know one woman who sent her husband's sexually graphic hookup site account to his mother and the other woman's account to her husband and parents. I've watched people straight up destroy the cheater's career. Hyunwoo's revenge feels almost impotent in comparison.

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Yes, his actions are well within the basic expectations of when a man learns his wife is intimate with another man. Anyone ever heard of a Crime of Passion? She's lucky he is mild.

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He is too either too nice of a guy or too incompetent. celebrating sun woo's birthday?
In real life people chew out the cheaters. This kind of makes him less of a man. He loses manly points there. His actions were understandable.

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i just dont understand something, why is cheating condemned like this, i mean, whether you are married or not with time the strong feelings you felt for someone are bound to disapear, it usually just becomes a comfortable relationship to which you hold tightly because it has become a part of your daily life.
And wether it is a married person or just someone in a relationship, they are still people, they can find someone else with whom they will find a new love, why is it considered as a crime when it boils down to love ?

Are married people obliged to not feel anything for anyone since they are married?
Does getting married suddenly cut us apart from the world and our pastself who could freely have crushes and flirt with peope ? Marriage is just a wish; its about two people who wish to spend the rest of their lives together and the moment one of them does not think about it, it breaks.

People meeting, dating, fighthing, hating, separating, it just happens, the issue is not being married, among all the cheaters in the drama yoonki is the most concerning because he is actually using Ara and making openly fun of her since he is well aware of her knowing his bad deeds. Their relationship is concerning. They are kind of representing a traditionnal couple where the husband is a cheater.

But as for sooyeon and hyunwoo, they are quite modern, both of them are working and taking care of their child together. They had to find some kind of balance between their life as a couple, their child, their professional life but it seems that they still did not manage to find it and as a viewer we arz bound to wonder how they could have done things so that it did not turn out like this.
Actually watching the first two episodes i was more shocked by the relationship between the couple rather than the cheating issue.

i hope i made sense lol, i was just feeling bad that soo yeon got all that hate when both her and her husband are struggling, maybe by the end of the drama people will see it differently

have a good day everyon (runs back to watch three meals a day with a pot of ramen x') )

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Er... cheating is not a crime but it's understandable why it's condemned. Because it's the breaking of trust between two people who had promised and were supposed to be the closest to each other.

Love coming in or suddenly finding your heart straying is not a problem until you act on it. Yes, it's hard to control what your heart wants but you definitely CAN control what you DO. And by choosing to sleep with the other guy, SooYeon has evidently betrayed her husband.

It's not even that the husband and wife cleaned everything between them up and officially and legally washed their hands off each other. To HyunWoo, for the past six months, SooYeon was obligated and supposed to be his wife and no other man's lady. For the past six months, he thought she still believed in and had trusted her to keep to their vows to each other. It's a different thing if they broke up and he knows that their vows mean nothing any more.

I mean, if you can't trust in your partner, the one person you're supposed to trust the best in the entire world, and in the promise of a marriage and all it's obligations, then... what else are you supposed to trust?

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Because cheating is deception, and deception is always wrong.

People can and do engage in open marriages and polyamorous relationships, but it is something that must be done with the consent of all parties involved. Anything less than honesty on this front is a betrayal of trust.

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Really? Boils down to love? Puh..lease...it boils down to sex if it comes down to it. Love has a variable of trust in it. People fail and do mistakes, sure...but to say that there is no mistake is just wrong in a whole different measure.

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You're kidding, right?

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I think the biggest mistake people make when they enter a marriage (or any committed long-term relationship, really) is the belief that love is a feeling/emotion. Because feelings/emotions are natural and instinctive, often a result of circumstances or even hormones, and not something we really can control. Thanks to novels, kdramas, and basic biology, we tend to equate "love" (or romantic love) with attraction - that exciting little fluttery feeling we get in our stomachs when we first meet someone we are interested in. Thank you pheromones and our species' biological drive to procreate!

But love is a choice we make - to be devoted to and care about another person deeply, regardless of circumstances. I wake up every day and make a choice to love my husband. Some days (thankfully still most days) I feel those happy butterflies of romantic love. But in my 20+ years of marriage, there have been many days when we've considered it a success to go to sleep still liking each other. Because life happens. But because we chose every day to love each other, here we are, still happily married and looking forward to a future together.

To answer your question, this doesn't mean you can't/won't still have a physical attraction to other people. Most people will, more than once, even in healthy, long-term relationships. You just have to choose to be faithful or to betray the trust of your partner. Circumstances can help push you one way or another but it is ultimately a choice. And it is condemned by most because a loving romantic relationship usually means an exclusive relationship, which implies trust. And if you don't have trust, it is hard to chose to love.

This is where I will have an issue with the drama. I can understand circumstances that might lead a spouse to chose to cheat (such as in On the Way to the Airport). And I can understand circumstances that will lead the betrayed spouse to forgive. But I really don't understand how someone who has been cheated on can ever really trust the unfaithful spouse enough to continue in the relationship ever again. It happens, I know. They are just a better person than I am.

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About 4 years into our relationship, before I married my husband, he did cheat on me and I decided to stay and am now married to him and we've been together for over 20 years. The reason why I forgave him and continued on with our relationship is because of our circumstance. He told me what happened right away, and was very, very remorseful. I also did recently move to another state, and we were trying a long distance relationship after years of being together, which was harder on him than me. And honestly, even though it may sound weird, because of what happened, I trust my husband 100% and know he would never cheat on me again because if he does, he knows what the consequences would be. I think I just want people to know that it is possible to have a happy loving relationship even after an affair - but both people have to put in their 100% and work for the relationship.

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Thank you for sharing your experience Twinkles. I am very happy that everything worked out in a positive way for you both and that you were able to rebuild that trust.

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Hi dramamama, love your comment and everything you said about marriage. Thanks so much for that!

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Thanks twinkles for your uplifting sharing. That's what I would like to believe too that it is possible but only through a lot of hard work... 100% and even more!

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I see many great answer here about why cheating is condemned.

A few other thing I want to point out is this. Someone who cheats in marriage normally gets worse treatment compare to someone who cheats in dating/boyfriend-Girlfriend relationship.

Why? Because the level of commitment, trust and vulnerability as well as dependency in a marriage is much much deeper than a dating relationship. Which is why cheating in a marriage is such destructive effect towards the marriage and the other party and therefore are condemned according to the level of pain and hurt it is inflicting to the marriage and the other party.

Also there is a long and calculated effort someone needs to do in order to cheat - I this case to have sexual affairs.
Don't confuse attraction - lust - admiration and love.

Yes, we are normal ppl that can still feel attracted and or admire other ppl. Yes we can even feel just towards other ppl. But there are many small actions you need to do to develop it into love or sexual affairs.

The secret coffee meeting
The many texts messages
The many phone calls
The planning you do to meet

You can have all the above and still haven't had sexual affairs! At any given point you can choose to either realise that your marriage has problem and deal with it or you can continue deceive your partner and have an affairs.

So affairs doesn't start with love.
It starts w "innocent" conversation that makes you happier.

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Uggh seriously! You defend adultery by saying it's just love???? NO it is not love it is just lust which is completely different. Cheating does not require communication over children, home repairs, bills to be paid but rather just where do you want to get it on next. I have not done a study but I can guarantee that if the person cheats on their current spouse then they will most definitely cheat on you later on down the road. If it is true love then get a divorce first and then pursue your sexual desires.

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I love this drama, I feel like every episode bring a piece to the puzzle. This camera work, editing, plot, ....everything is just awesome. It's also rare for a drama to make you thing about life

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i ve looked at comments here and there and would like to know some beanies opinion

if the main couple had not been married ( and therefore with no child) and they were in a relatioship for 14 years as he says in the next ep
would it still make most of you mad that she cheated on him with someone else ?
if not could you explain why it makes a difference ?

(for instance you can think about coffee prince where the second leads had that kind of pb ( actually i dont remember if they were separated because of that, if i am wrong sorry ))

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for me, it's the same thing. you broke a pact of trust you decided to have with someone.

of course each case has different context. but, for me, having a child or being together for more years make the cheating worse. probably hurts more and will demand more to whatever is the next step (reconciliton or divorce). the cheating itself, imo, is as wrong for them as for a couple together for few months, for example.

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*but, for me, having a child or being together for more years DOESN'T make the cheating worse

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IMO, the key here is the phrase "in a relationship", and how that relationship is defined.

Is it friendship only as they raise their child? Then no, not cheating, not a problem.

Is it a mutually agreed upon open relationship where dating others is allowed? No, not cheating, not a problem.

Is it an exclusive (i.e. monogamous) relationship where each partner is expected to be faithful and not date anyone? Then yes, it is cheating, and yes it is a problem.

Marriage, for most folks, is understood to be monogamous. My hubby and I believe this way. But we also had a very honest and clear discussion about our expectations before we got married, so that there was no misunderstanding. We not only discussed our expectations for faithfulness, we discussed what the consequences would be if this was broken.

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In a lot of states in the US if you spend more than 7 years living together, is consider a "common law marriage", meaning that if you separate from your partner, the division of assets will be comparable in court, as if they have been legitimately married for that many years....So IMHO whether married or not cheating still cheating!!!

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I'm only luke-warm about this show, but it helps a little to imagine it as a sequel. Just pick any rom-com or other romance show and fast-forward about a decade. I nominate Miss Korea because it had the same male lead.

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Unfortunately I have to agree with you. Korean dramas in general focus so much on the beginning of a romance and all the excitements and flutters that come with it. But once in a while a drama such as this comes along to bring home the reality that heady romances do not last forever without a lot of hard work. I have lived in Asia and America. In the west I still see married couples (older and younger) holding hands, greeting each other with a kiss, and saying I love you at the end of phone calls. I don't think I witnessed much of that in Asia. Part of it is culture for sure, but I am also sure married people get too comfortable and think it no longer necessary to try too hard.

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The guy she's having a affair with works for J Motors. Are they the manufacturer of the Truck of Doom??

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The ghost part was very random, but it provided a short comedic moment. I guess the drama wanted to show more of Yoon Ki's story/perspective, but watching him cheat over and over again was just not cool. His wife was so close by! It was terrible. I wanted her to find out the truth so bad. I hope it happens soon, but I hope it doesn't break her.

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That part was right from 18+ content. I googled and found exponentiation results.

Yoon Ki is demonstrating live "Dummies guide to cheat". Gold digger girl was 1 thing but divorced teacher too? waaah

Ae Ra need to beat this guy to pulp and then throw on streets.

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I hope it happens soon, but I hope it doesn’t break her.

I bet it's gonna break him. Or she. She's gonna break him. >:D

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LOL..I was scared sh*tless since I wasn't really expecting that in this drama....

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Me, too. And that would affect my rewatch of this episode in the future. I hope they don't do this again to us.

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It's hard to believe they showed this dumb stupid character through out most of the episodes. The guy acted like he had a loose screw that needed some serious adjusting. Whenever I came to a scene he was in I just fast forward. The beautiful wife deserved a better roll with someone else other than the nut she was with. What were you trying to say about this character I don;t get it.

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There really is no black and white when it comes to affairs of the heart. Rarely is the distress in a relationship 100% due to just one spouse. It takes two to tango and something big derailed in the marriage to allow one person to entertain attraction to an outside person. It could be as simple as one spouse communicating honestly, "I need you to help me with the housework" or "I feel hurt by your tone of voice" or "It's hard for me to remain attracted to you in you gain 100 pounds". It's important to remember that we fall in love with someone based on the experience we have of them at the beginning, whether a 20 year friendship has turned to love or a 5-minute interaction is love at first sight. Everything builds from there - all the information and communication (or lack thereof) ensues from that point. It is never (or rarely) one-sided.

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Agreed. A lot of people think relationships involve meeting each other half way and giving it 50/50 each. But it's not that way, for a successful marriage both parties need to be willing to give 100% forward.

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Marriage is not 50/50 never was never will be. one partner will give a 100% the other partner less but that dose not mean you want have a successful marriage. If you love each other and work hard on building up your marriage each and every day you can have a very successful marriage. What you put in is what you get out whether one partner gives 1% more or the other partner gives 1% less it's the two of you working together.

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I love this show. I've been married for 12 years and my husband cheated on me twice. The first time was a few years ago and I decided to forgive him and try to work things out. But a few months ago, he cheated on me again. The pain of being cheated on and being taken for a fool was unbearable. Like physically stabbing your chest with a knife. I feel for Hyun woo. I totally understand him and how he acted. I was like that. I acted like a complete lunatic and acted with so much hate. And I was broken. It has been almost 9 months and we have been living separately since then. We have kids. And it's been hard. Forgiving is easier said than done. Trust is not something which you can piece back together and then it'll be as good as new . But as for now, life goes on. Me and my kids just have to keep breathing, eating, living as we know how. And pray for the best.

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If me, not married, got cheated on by a bf of barely two years, felt like my world crashed, I could just imagine that pain was multiplied by god-knows-how-much for you. I thought about doing it Carrie Underwood-style; I tried to come up ways just to get my revenge. Some might call me too weak, but I just let it go and decided to move on. And it's hard. Even till now, a couple of years later, I feel like I'm partly to blame. I always try to tell myself that it's never the "victim's" fault; it's the cheater who's always wrong. but... I did some self-evaluation, and I do realize I've some misgivings. my ex apologized, and it was sincere I could tell, and I forgive him. but once that trust had been broken, like you said, it'd be hard to piece it back.

anyway, sorry for riding on your comment with my own sob-story. Just wanted to say, you'll get through it. It'd be a tough road to find love again, but I do hope you will when you're ready and/or when you meet the RIGHT one!

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What angers me about Hyun Woo's behavior is his double standard in this "righteousness" he is exerting. Telling the wife about the affair in itself was the right thing to do but the manner in which he did it was cruel and extremely selfish. He sees his actions as fair and just as you said it, but if he really attached so much importance to right and wrong, why would he cover and actually HELP his cheating friend ? I've seen a comment higher saying that JK could have a story that would explain why he's cheating on his wife repeatedly and that it would somehow excuse him, while at the same time completely rejecting any explanation as to why Soo Yeon could give in to temptation. Don't tell me this doesn't have anything to do with how people perceive genders and their perceived roles in relationship especially when it pertains to cheating. It's kind of a shame that you don't delve deeper into the comments on the forum in the recap because they highlight exactly this. There's a clear divide between the male and female commenters and you actually see that double standard playing out.

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I'd like to thank all those who have been courageous enough to share their own painful experiences with cheating in this comment thread. It's one of the most deeply personal set of responses I've ever read in any comment thread, which also shows how good the show is in sparking off thoughts and reflection especially for married couples. After finishing the episode, I also had a honest discussion with my wife on how we will handle it if an affair happens.

It was certainly a difficult episode to watch, and a difficult episode to write about.. but here are my thoughts on this episode:
https://kdramaanalysis.wordpress.com/2016/11/15/my-wifes-having-an-affair-this-week-episode-5/

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I'm on Soo-Yeon's side. Yes she did cheat. Yes it was wrong but even from the start, you can see Hyun-woo did not appreciate her existence in his life more than basic. She was his awesome accessory - no maintenance required. He got himself a house girl in the package of a god-wife on a pedestal. So I don't blame her for cheating on him, if it was to feel like she was not just a mother, wife and a convinient housekeeper. I've watched a woman close to me be hurt by her husband, hurt by his family and she comes to work and explodes. She lets her hurts and feelings out to people who would listen. Does Soo-Yeon have someone who would listen to her frustrations? Her stresses at work or with the other mothers? So if she needed to let off steam by having an affair, then so it is. My only upset is she went with someone who was married but then it keeps both sides from attaching strings. I'm not saying that Hyun-woo has no right to be angry, he does. The life he thought he had is what it is in reality but he is at fault for not looking beyond what he wanted to see, not taking care of his wife more, not seeing her as a person with needs as well. And Soo-Yeon is also at fault for perpetutaing the prefect wife illusion and not knocking some sense into her husband's head.

Yoon-ki totally deserves Ara serving him for half and then some. But it seems like a cat and mouse game between them.

Poor Bo-Young, if that is the tale; that sucks. I would be surprised if he doesn't have trust/abandoment/self-esteem issues from that event.

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I understand she felt suffocated by the burden of being perfect but we don't yet know if she ever let her thoughts out or tried to open up. She reminds me of Bree from Desperate Housewife but atleast she didn't cheat. So that excuse doesn't work. If she had talked, failed at making a point and instead wanted out, I could agree. She instead went ahead, slept and had a 6 month's long affair with a guy who has a family of his own. How do you overlook that level of betrayal of trust and that sort of mistake. She is an adult, she and that other slimy husband both knew they were betraying their vows, sense of decency and work ethics. I fail to understand how all of that is okay. That said, this show is about unfaithful spouse and how to deal with it so ball is for now in Hyun Wood court. It's his call. And no I do not agree to him outing the guy to his wife but atleast I can understand where he is coming from.

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Yes to this. Some others have pointed out the same thing, that how do you expect a man to second guess it when he asks if his wife is okay and she answers with a sweet smile that yes, she is okay? Men do not usually want to prod and prod. Besides I can picture her getting annoying at being doubted at if she has resolved to hide all feelings and maintain that perfect wife image.

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The wife is busy with her carreer and family.she clearly have a lot on her plate but not busy enough for her to add an affair.how did she have the time for that when she barely have time to pick her son at school?smh
I get that she might be overwhelmed with all the responsibilities of having a family and carreer at the same time but she should have told her husband that she's struggling and share the burden with him.have a schedule for house chores shared between them.
If he still wouldn't help,threaten him with divorce.
The husband probably thought that she's okay because she's smiling all the time and acted fine.

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Exactly. She has a 6 month affair that was going be to even longer because she had NO intention of telling her husband or ending it with a guy. She's oddly protective of him and seems like she cares more about him than her husband. I would be livid and he is also. No one reacts text book like, it blinded sided him!

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I feel a six month affair can be considered serious for both of them. but I believe it was mostly her and this would have continued had she not been caught. It was clear at times she tried coming to his defense for what ever reason. Could it have been she really fell in love with her cheating partner? She had no intention of telling her husband about this affair unless the guy had in some way assured her he would leave his wife and kids. I think this is what she was waiting to hear from him. I don't think the cheater had any plans to leave his family unlike her he loved his family. To him Soo-Yeon was available to be used and he obliged her.

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My take on the affair was they succumbed to temptation 6 months ago (the guy said just once), then they backed off the sex for awhile, probably limited themselves to an 'emotional affair'. But she missed him so they planned to meet-up and reignite the flame. And got caught.

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I agree Soo-Yeon was so busy with job taking care of home, husband and kid, but how could she add an affair to the over whelming situation she was already in? Being in an affair must have been very tense and demanding of her time all on it's own. She should have approached her husband (hind sight of course) and told him about all the stress she was facing. I don't really think he knew or thought about what she was facing day in and day out. My opinion he took his wife for granted doing all the things she did. I don't think it was intentionally but it still comes out she was being taking for granted. I think when she was with this guy she was able to block out everything else and enjoy the moment. A six month affair also sex I think she must have enjoyed it. There were no signs of this affair ending until she was caught.

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To answer your question at the top: "Is it harder to forgive, or to ask for forgiveness?"

I think it's harder to ask for forgiveness. Forgiving someone, you can do on your own will. Asking for forgiveness depends on someone else. Especially if you did something to lose that person's trust.

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Right. Hyun Woo has said so many times he would have forgiven her had his wife come clean and ask for forgiveness. For reasons we don't know she has not done that. Maybe she is too proud, maybe she feels he won't forgive her, but I tend to think she has no affection left for her husband and is staying in the marriage only for her son.

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It's kind of a weird situation between this couple. they don't seem to be able to express their love are affection for each other. You don't see them hugging are kissing.There doesn't seem to be a sexual affair going on in their marriage. I to wonder about her affection towards her husband and it appears that she is there because of their kid. They don't go places together and don't do things together. I think she showed more affection toward the guy she was cheating with than to her husband. Thinking back her remarks after she was caught cheating was I wanted to be with him I wanted to see him again. She also made the reservation for them at the hotel. She also said that when she was with him she didn't think about her husband didn't think about her son didn't think about home and didn't think about her job. The guy she was cheating with dropped her like a bad habit and showed very little emotions about it. It wasn't till he did that I saw some what of a change in her feelings for him. I feel she saw the affair was over between them. She was a freebie to him and he used her. I believe if this guy was really serious about her she would have left her husband.

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I think it's harder to forgive...

When one commits a mistake, you only need to ask for forgiveness to "pass" the ball to the other court. When you ask for forgiveness/do actions toward being forgiven, you're atoning for your sins, you're already clearing out your feelings. Example, you can keep saying sorry, send flowers, do chores, make grand gestures... all in asking for forgiveness.

But the person who has to forgive cannot do anything else except forgive or accept the effort. And it's not that simple if you can't get over the pain. Meanwhile, as the sinner keeps doing things for you, there's an increasing burden to forgive them because they already apologized in so many ways.

Or maybe you're right. In general, it IS easy to forgive. You just, y'know, forgive them. Haha it's such a simple concept but I find it harder in practice so personally, I think it's harder to forgive.

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For me, its much easier to ask for forgiveness as I would be relieved of my guilt irrespective of whether I'm really forgiven or not but its really hard to forgive as we keep getting reminded of that pain we went through whenever we face that person or a similar situation of even lesser impact

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This episode made me feel less sympathetic towards Soo Yeon. This isn't just an issue with her marriage.....she has a bad habit of holding in her thoughts and feelings. She does it at work, with her husband (duh, as we all know), with her son, her lover and the mothers she has to interact with. She should've told her boss that she has worked hard on the project, that it is almost over and it would be unfair to have someone else get the credit for it. She should've told her lover not to sabotage her hard work because the relationship that developed between them....yes, it was inappropriate and if her boss found out, she would've been kicked off anyway. But if she got this project fair and square, and spent time and energy getting it to near completion, she deserves the credit. Convince lover boy that you can keep things professional for the sake of getting the credit you earned. She should talk to her husband about what she wants. She shouldn't have felt like she needed to bend over backwards for the other mothers just to get her son into an art academy. I think if she practiced standing up for herself even once in a while, she might not feel overwhelmed by everything else. Example, if she fought for the project, the whole art academy situation would probably feel less burdensome. But she keeps on giving to others, and now her world is falling apart because she used the strength that she had to pursue the wrong thing. How her husband reacted was understandable, and I don't blame him. Soo Yeon needs to address this head on and stop dillydallying. She gives up way too easily. I honestly don't feel that she loves her husband....I see absolutely no indication, even in the wedding video. Maybe she forced herself into marriage with Hyun Woo in the first place, the way this girl is moving I wouldn't be too surprised to hear. But whether she does love him or not, and whether or not she wants a divorce, she needs to open her mouth and say her part. Stand up for yourself, because what you think counts and trust me, you have many MANY persons wanting to hear your part (ie, us viewers lol).

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you know i love that the show is making people think about somany things
We all know more or less women like the main lead, they do not share theur hardship with anyone, they keep everything to themselves and have decided that no matter what they should be able to do everything, including being a perfect mother.

Most of you are frustrated at her for not speking up but i can understand her behavior, i am usually very shy and afraid of people judgement so i do not even darz posting messages on internet ( this might be my second post here in dramabeans althought i have been regularly coming to the websitz for 5 years )

As i think a lot before doing anything, i am also unable to react in a " proper"way and somtimes gets misunderstood for instance you are saying she should have asked for forgiveness but isnt it shamefull to do that after making an obvious mistake ? She knew her husband would feel betrayed but she still did it so she has to endure his anger until he deems it enough of a punishment. That is what i would think and do in her stead even if she might be acting like this becaise of some other reason.

Sge is kind of cut from the world, she does not seem close to her coworkers, her fling with the other man felt quite superficial as he did not even try to comfort her after she was found out by her husband, her mother in law seems to be another source of stress... If this is all there is to her life its quite depressing, she has no one to rely on, how did she end uo this way, was it her choice? was it because of her demanding family ? was she this way from the beginning ? howewer shy and reserved you are you ought to at least have a friend to talk to but some people seem to lack even that
it makes me feel sad

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That's so true. I felt the relationship with the man was a bit one-sided because, even though he said he loved her, he cut her from the project without letting her know and suddenly became distant.

Now that you mention it, you're right, she doesn't seem to have anybody to turn to which is quite sad. I can't wait to find out more about her side of the story.

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The cheating husband said he love Soo-Yeon and she in this affair for six mos must have fallen for his lie and it was a lie. If he loved S.J so much why was all his time and devotion given to his wife and children which it should have been and not to Soo-Yeon. S.J just happen to be there and available even tho she was married she was there for the taking and he took. How can you call sneaking around and going to hotels seeing someone at your leisure love? You are proud to be with the one you love and proudly show her off not using the cover of darkness or out of way places so not to be seen by others. Dropping her from the projects they were working on without telling her and to top that dropped her cold turkey is this love? I think this was one of the terms of the agreement he made with his wife to cut all involvement with S.J for cheating on her. The question in my mind about Soo-Yeon in this affair is what prompt her to make the ultimate call and give her body to this cheating married man not to forget she is also married. You can have an affair without sex but once sex comes into the affair it goes to a whole new level. You are married and in an affair with a married man gives him your body sexual from this point on what else do you have to give? In the end got caught now all that you had is destroyed. Was it worth it? Maybe only you know.

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The commenters in this recap have such great wisdom! I watched this episode already and I'm only coming back for the comments.

One question though, Why is it harder to forgive women who cheat than men?

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The typical answer, of course, is because we get used to the idea that men cheat more than women, at least among married men anyway. So in a way it is more acceptable, thus more forgivable. I can name a few men in my extended family alone who have been unfaithful to their wives, but I can't name a single woman. Many married men cheat, but they don't necessarily have extended affairs, because they cheat with prostitutes, etc.. Some do keep mistresses, but usually they are not married women. So when we hear of an otherwise upstanding woman of society has an affair we are shocked and less quick to forgive.

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I don't really view gender as a relevant characteristic here, meaning that a betrayal is a betrayal. This transcends sex and romance, even, it could be even between friends. The key point is the breaking of the trust placed in you. Maybe there is an additional aspect of humiliation. But I view the issue, morally, as fundamentally disconnected from sex (in both the reproductive and male/female sense). I don't think that having self respect and clear boundaries about what you are willing or unwilling to tolerate should be tied to your gender. For example, I don't see what the guy did as fundamentally any different from what the MC's wife did (or from what the other character did, for that matter). Actually, if anything I notice the opposite trend -the other cheater in this series is treated with significantly less empathy than the wife... personally, I don't really see having too much stuff to do, or the opposite, boredom, as morally superior places to stand compared to boredom/lust, and think both that the harsh judgment of the guy is correct, and that he is not fundamentally different from the MC's wife, meaning that he is different in his reasons and behavior, but that doesn't really change what is fundamentally wrong with what they did-.

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When a man cheats many times it's just for the sex nothing serious like getting attached. He's not thinking about leaving his wife or his girl friend . On the other hand when a woman cheat's it's not always for sex she's in the affair from an emotional stand point and can become attached very easily. As with Soo Yeon in her affair. This affair was on going for six mos and probably would have gone longer had they not been caught. She had establish an emotional attachment with this guy not only that gave her body to him. To further prove my point she said when I'm with him I don't think of my kid, don't think of my husband,don't think of my job. I think she would have left her husband had this guy in some way assured her he would leave his family to be with her. I'm trying to point out two different affairs. The man in it for sex. The woman with a husband and a kid emotions should have been for her husband but she was emotional attached this guy which looks very bad. Now I must say cheating is cheating whether it's a man or a woman they are equally wrong. cheating is wrong.

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She does act like a victim, all meek and quiet, feeling sorry for herself. She got caught up in being the perfect wife and thus destroyed her marriage in the process. I don't feel sorry for the cheater. If she was unhappy, then divorce and seek you the happiness you think you need. Ugh her character is getting on my nerves.

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You are right on point in all that you have said. This relationship went on for six months and had Soo Yeon not been found out who knows how much longer it would have gone on. So one can not get around the fact she knew exactly what she was doing in this affair. She even stated that when she was with this guy she didn't think about home, her husband, her child nor her job. We are talking about someone who seems to be heartless and never gave a thought to the pain hurt and suffering she would cause to others . She went about doing things at home smiling taking care of her child and husband at the same time thinking deep down inside about her next meeting with her lover and feeling good about it. all these things she did you could easily throw her under the bus (figuratively speaking ). She dose not get off for the terrible thing she did. But like anyone who makes a mistake and want to be forgiven she should be forgiven . Hyun Woo was not the cheater but he did some dumb things that didn't help the situation. Maybe if H.W spent a little more time helping out around the house and taking some of the load off S.Y it could have made the different in their marriage. He mention there were times when he saw her standing there staring out. That was another opportunity he missed to find out what his wife was going through. Recapping she was caught in real time cheating that's a fact and there is no getting around it. Her action caused a ripple effect of pain suffering and hurt to others but in my humble thinking there is room to forgive her.

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There are times when I would like to give Soo-Yeon the benefit of the doubt unfortunately at times that's a little hard to do. First of all she got caught cheating hands down (a fact). Her remarks are somewhat at times a little off, for instance on the elevator when locking eyes with her husband. Her question to him what are you doing here? are you serious? Who's the cheater? Not her husband.I think the question really meant, I was just about to have a perfect evening with my lover cheating and now you have ruined it. Another time she remarked I wanted to see him, I wanted to be with him. another time she remarked when I'm with him I don't think about my kid, I don't think about my job, I don't think about my husband. On another occasion she was asked by her husband did you have sex with him. after the husband's persistence she looked at him in anger and said yes I had sex with him. sounded like that was a so what. Then the husband told her he beat her lover up and told his wife about the affair. Once again the cheating wife seem to defend her cheating lover by words or expressions. Sometimes there are things best not said and the drama goes on.

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This show IMO plays on all the stereotypes of a man vs a woman cheating and I think it's really sad and it angers me. When Soo Yeon is the one cheating, there is supposed depth to it and the writers spend a great deal of time to reason it from her perspective, even going as far as to make her character somewhat sympathetic. When the man is the one cheating (i.e. lawyer friend), he's shown to basically only be doing it for the physical attraction and the audience is left to hate that character with no other feelings or emotion. This is so wrong on so many levels.

I see a lot of people on this comment board asking for Hyun Woo to act reasonable as if he's supposed to be rationale in a situation like this. For you women out there that believe that, please, give me a break. Cheating should never ever be justified, and it's not a matter of depth into the reasons why one may cheat. Hyun Woo should have told the other husbands wife, whether it was malice intent or not. His reaction is not "childish" as the reviewer wants to point out so elegantly; it's a man that has lost everything he cared about and his actions are done from a feeling of betrayal and anger as any other human being would be. If the situations were reversed, I don't believe the women on this board would be so rationale towards Hyun Woo. I don't think the reviewer would be so quick to point out that Soo Yeon is being childish. It would be pitchforks out and whatever Soo Yeon did would be justified. We as a society talk about double standards from a women's perspective all the time whether it be for pay, or for certain rights, and I for one am all for that. However, for those women fighting for these justified causes, you can not then be a hypocrite and turn around and try to find excuses for Soo Yeon's behavior. Cause equality should be that. For both sides. She is clearly wrong and I think the drama trying to portray the marriage with his flaws and so in turn, giving her some sort of sympathy for her actions is pathetic. Marriage is deep; it has layers. It's complicated and hard. But cheating is not a solution, it's not something that has merit. You wanna leave the guy because you no longer feel for him. Fine do that. But cheating and trying to make excuses for it. Save that nonsense for court

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If any wisdom can be learned about extramarital affairs in real life from reel life (Valid Love, A Word from War Heart, and other dramas), they are:
1. Married couples are vulnerable to the lures of having an affair today;
2. Affairs usually "just happen" and is symptomatic of a dysfunctional marriage not it's cure;
3. Affairs usually start out as caring and empathic relationships between colleagues, friends, and business associates.
4. Although affairs can be emotional or sexual, they tend to incorporate sex over time;
5. Affairs may start out in secret, but they rarely stay secret for long;
6. Once exposed, the fallout from the affair can destructively affect many innocent people (children and social groups), careers, and even organisations;
7. It is easier to forgive than forget unless the early onset of dementia;
8. Beware the lures of an affair. If you cannot resist it, get divorced before it becomes serious!

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Contrary to some comments I think that HW's reaction to SW affair with his wife was reasonable and measured. I would have dismembered him.
Firstly, HW did not create a public ruckus in the elevator.
Secondly, he did not create a ruckus at SW's workplace the two times he was there.
Thirdly, HW could have gone to SW's home to take it out on his children.
Fourthly, he could destroy SW's public reputation.
SY also seemed more concerned and protective of SW rather than HW.
Fifthly, SW and SY were the ones who first put themselves and their families at risk. I cannot imagine that how they thought their secret affair can stay secret.
Lastly, if HW did not go to such lengths as to inform SW's wife, I doubt if SW and SY would cease their affair so effectively. Alas, HW and JS will be hurt and scarred for life.

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To find out that your wife is having an affair with another man and on top of that had sex with him can turn a man's whole world upside down. So some of Hyun Woo's reaction were understandable but those times when he started yelling and acting all unreasonable not listening didn't help his situation especially when talking to Soo Yeon his wife. She tried to have a civil conversation with him but most of the time she ended up shutting down are leaving. My thoughts about Soo Yeon there were times I was in her corner and other times I was not. I really liked her. I saw a beautiful woman with all the ingredients of a good wife and mother hard working never complaining but maybe these things weighed too heavy on the scale and caused it to tilt in the wrong direction that ended in her having an affair with another man. It's possible had she gone to her husband and told him what she was going through things may have turned out differently of course that's hind sight. Did they have that type of relationship where she felt comfortable to approach him? There were many times I thought if he had held her in his arms and told her how much he loved her, appreciated her, thanked her for the wife and mother she has been and thank her for all the great meals she prepared. I think this might have tilted the scales back to level. In his rage, hurt and pain he could only see revenge it was all about his hurt. Not to make small of what she did It was a very very bad thing but she was also paying a price for her action.

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Like last episode, I agree in the sense that I see both her willing, intentional betrayal, and his unintentional lack of a sufficient level of love and attention that involuntarily led to the problem festering (though, as you said, he is no mind reader and shouldn't be expected to be) as problems. But there is a difference between intentionally insulting someone and offending someone by mistake. Intent matters, morally, I think. And even gravity. one is a 10, the other is a 1000.

Lack of communication is definitely an issue. Even on that, I have to point out that it's also a two way street, in that while one could always strive to do better in not taking the other for granted and trying to understand her or his point of view, one can't expect her or his partner to be a mind reader, either. An if we want to be perfectly honest, however grave a slight, that's a 2 while what she did was more like a 200. In some way, his was an issue of incompetence, but chiefly lack of awareness, while what she did was deliberate and active. In a sense, he lacked awareness and hurt her by mistake. She choose to cheat, intentionally, she didn't do it by mistake. In terms of empathy, I can say that I could see myself hurting someone, a friend or lover, but lack of awareness or anger. I could not see myself intentionally cheating or betraying a friend or lover's trust.

That's why on an emotional level I find the former forgivable and not the latter, while intellectually I can undrestand that it's a situation that could realistically happen, emotionally I can't empathize and ultimately I think that that comes down to the kind of person each of us is. I find her a worse person because of it, on a fundamental level: there are people who would do what she did, and people who would not, and that fundamental difference means that while in the husband's shoes I would maybe try to understand what part I played in it so that I could learn from my mistakes, I would find it a wrong conclusion that he should be victim blamed and flagellate himself as somehow having been the "cause" of her actions, as gravity causes an apple to fall -that completely takes away any agency from her-

He should of course recognize the mistakes he made and try to do better next time, but he shouldn't consider himself the one that caused his wife to cheat -she is a person that makes her own decisions and choices, not a car or a computer-. It's both a matter of proportionality (what he did was not equal, both in terms of hurt, humiliation and betrayal of trust, raw "damage" caused, as well as in terms of its moral dimension, his being a mistake and hers a deliberate act) and of simple respect for her agency. In some sense, while it's not outside the realm of possibility that someone could react as she did, that does not make her actions a reasonable reaction. In fact, basic human decency and respect would entitle him to think it a reasonable assumption that she wouldn't do...

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I basically agree with the point that he informed his wife in anger. I don't agree with the fact that he wanted her to suffer. Maybe him. And he had every right to -they were the ones that decided to betray her trust, they are not entitled to pick and choose when they want to deal with the consequences of their actions.-. I don't see the act of revealing the truth as morally ambiguous: she has a right to know the truth, because she has a right to see the person besides her for who he really is and in principle deserves to make the choice to be with someone else, someone better (i.e. someone that wouldn't cheat on her, for a start, which is a pretty low bar). They don't have the right to deceive her while deciding what is better for her or her family, she has the right to make her own decisions with full knowledge of the facts. Would it have been better had he explicitly prioritized this latter reason? Yes. But I don't find his satisfaction in this circumstance a terrible moral fault, just a human reaction that I guess would be shared by almost everyone (or by a percentage of the population much higher than the percentage that would cheat). I think of anger after something like this as something akin to grief after a loss. He is entitled to venting, within reason (meaning that he shouldn't have punched him, or even confronted him, in my opinion... he really shouldn't be the target he is focusing on that he is, the reality of the situation is that, scum or not, it's his wife that decided to cheat, he didn't coerce her, anymore than his lack of attention did... he might have put the moves on her, but he couldn't really make her cheat had she said no).

Lack of communication is definitely an issue. Even on that, I have to point out that it's also a two way street, in that while one could always strive to do better in not taking the other for granted and trying to understand her or his point of view, one can't expect her or his partner to be a mind reader, either. An if we want to be perfectly honest, however grave a slight, that's a 2 while what she did was more like a 200. In some way, his was an issue of incompetence, but chiefly lack of awareness, while what she did was deliberate and active. In a sense, he lacked awareness and hurt her by mistake. She choose to cheat, intentionally, she didn't do it by mistake. In terms of empathy, I can say that I could see myself hurting someone, a friend or lover, but lack of awareness or anger. I could not see myself intentionally cheating or betraying a friend or lover's trust.

That's why on an emotional level I find the former forgivable and not the latter, while intellectually I can undrestand that it's a situation that could realistically happen, emotionally I can't empathize and ultimately I think that that comes down to the kind of person each of us is. I find her a worse person because of it, on a fundamental level: there are people who would do what she did, and people who...

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"“These women aren’t cheating because of their husbands. They just like any man besides their husband. Let’s not turn the innocent husbands into sinners.” So much for objectivity."

I largely agree with the first part. They are humans, not computers, so they have to own their own decisions. Circumstances might change, life might be hard, but that's the same for everyone, you don't get to make excuses. Now, there could be some shared responsibility in terms of not listening, not paying enough attention.

Here is the branching part. If they said that because of that they are ready to leave, to consider a divorce, I would find that perfectly okay. That's honest, and demonstrates a shred of respect for the other person. What is inexcusable is deceiving them for months on end, humiliating and betraying them, all behind their backs.

Of course, if the other partner (I don't get why it should be a man, the husband, since this is really gender neutral, and could even apply to same sex couples) had cheated first, or was a violent asshole, or emotionally abusive, then we would have moral equivalence, and I would suggest a trip to the divorce lawyer and possibly the police.

Like you, I don't particularly like the show format -a reality interviewing cheaters about their personal lives-. Basically, it's private business, this seems too much like a mob (I disapproved of the girl slapping the cheater, but also found her energy and decisiveness somewhat satisfying).

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"Hyun-woo hangs up angrily and then sees that Sun-woo confirmed his facebook friend request. (Why on earth would you confirm your lover’s husband’s friend request?) He starts looking through the man’s pictures and sees all the family shots he posted of his wife and children. Hyun-woo scoffs that a man who loves his family so much would cheat."

Have to agree.

As for the present, MC would have probably appreciated more having his wife there for their anniversary, and not fucking someone else behind his back.

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Didn't really like her smug sense of entitlement. They have the right to deceive the woman for half a year, and she puts it as if she has the moral high ground. It's truly a wonder how she thinks that she is entitles to ask him if he feels better -she has destroyed a person, but seems to be completely untouched by that fact-.

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"As husband and wife argue over whether or not the woman really did have an affair, Bo-young notes that there doesn’t seem to be a right answer. “Thinking about it, there seems to be no definite perpetrator or victim. You know, there’s a thing called willful negligence. Even knowing that their marriage will be in danger going on like this, there are many couples that don’t put in effort.” Her words reach Hyun-woo, but he doesn’t seem to agree."

He is right not to agree, and it's disappointing that he doesn't correct her, since the claim is pretty easy to dismantle. It's just fake profundity, generalizations and muddling the waters, and while the one uttering it might think that he is oh-so-wise, it's really just lack of clear thinking: the claim doesn't stand up to the slightest scrutiny. I kinda liked how indignant she was when she put her foot down and threw her slap, but she also seems to have some sort of guilt around not confronting her husband about cheating. That doesn't mean that she is right to feel that way. Her guilt is completely misplaced. They might have both contributed to the relationship being unhappy, but he alone was responsible for the cheating, it's something he chose to do, she didn't make him do it.

First of all, I don't really like how the term "willful negligence" is used here. It's like they are talking about something that just happens, spontaneously, like an apple thrown in the air falls to the ground, deterministically, following the law of gravity, instead of a deliberate choice by one of the two parties. If you don't clean you room, it will get dirty. The room doesn't choose to get dirty. People choose to betray each others' trust. We shouldn't conflate a breakup and a betrayal. I might very well accept this reasoning if the "danger" here refers to a breakup, but not if it refers to a betrayal. It's about basic, reasonable expectations. Just as you should be able to take for granted that your partner won't physically or emotionally abuse you, you should be able to trust that he won't lie to you.

One has to be able to assume a basic level of trust and respect in a relationship. If the assumption is that if you don't get this right the other person will betray you, then what relationship are we talking about? One where you are assuming the person you want to keep around won't show you the slightest trust and respect. Then it is a matter of why would you want to keep him around in the first place. You would already be operating on the assumption that your partner is a person unworthy of your trust. You can't live in a context where you a hostage, under constant threat, thinking that if you do the wrong thing you might expect the other person to betray you. That means that you already don't have the minimum trust in the other person.

Morally, there is the question if people *do* know that there is an issue. It would be better if they did, but they are not mind readers. You might...

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thinking that if you do the wrong thing you might expect the other person to betray you. That means that you already don't have the minimum trust in the other person.

Morally, there is the question if people *do* know that there is an issue. It would be better if they did, but they are not mind readers. You might say that it would be better if they knew, but ignorance in principle is not a moral failure. Even if they do know, or should have reasonably been expected to, they would at most have been similarly responsible for the end of the relationship, at least before the betrayal. The betrayal itself is something only one person decides to consciously do, and as such he alone is responsible for it. And if they split up after the betrayal, then the responsibilities wouldn't be equal in any way -the one who escalated would have been responsible for taking a solvable situation past the point of no return-.

By analogy, two people might be arguing, and they both might be at fault, but if one escalates things and punches the other, he and him alone is responsible for that, he can't blame it on the fact that they were having a fight, or say that they were both at fault in the previous argument. The argument is the argument, and they might both be at fault, but the assault is a separate matter entirely, and only the perpetrator is responsible for it. He is an adult, responsible for his own actions, he can't very well claim that the other person made him do it, or that it was caused by argument in which the other person was also at fault. That "he started it" stuff is kindergarden level. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but you were the one who decided to escalate.

On individual responsibility and moral expectations, my general point is you are responsible for your actions. We might say that with children, adults are responsible for raising them well, thus indirectly, in part, for their behavior, but, while the words might be similar, a partner is not a parent. Sure, you might consider how people would react to your behavior. If you are obnoxious, they might respond negatively, and then you can only change your own behavior, which is the only thing under your direct control. But we are talking about what is reasonable to expect here. In my opinion, this includes a breakup, but not a betrayal. One *has* to be able to assume basic honesty and respect in a relationship, otherwise it means you already don't have the slightest trust in the other person. The relationship has already ended.

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Writing this 3 years late.
That tiny scene in the office where the girls were commenting on how handsome the client was. One of them glanced over to Soo-yeon, noticed she looked crushed sitting at her disk, and just smirked. Soo-yeon's stunned silent reaction on getting caught, I think, is her immediately knowing the scale of the hole she had dug herself. She had ruined EVERYTHING and she immediately knew it. How is one supposed to respond or reply to catastrophe?

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