Beans of Wisdom: 30 going on 30
by | March 19, 2017 | 73 Comments

This week in Beans of Wisdom…

jm shares in “Strong Woman Do Bong-soon: Episode 5” comment #6.2.1:

What I enjoy about this show and the discussion page is I get to consider what it might be like for women of petite statue to navigate the world. I have the exact opposite problem. While she might be encouraged to play into the assumption that she is weak and powerless, I am encouraged to be almost gender-less given my height. Both societal expectations reinforce a false division between femininity and strength. I do think/hope the show is trying to subvert that assumption i.e. the CEO seeing her as a sexy woman in part because she is strong.


While the-basketcase feels for our reluctant heroine in comment #16:

I feel so sorry for Bong-Soon.

You know, she never chose to have this strength given to her, and she is always only characterized because of it. I don’t blame her for hiding it from everyone, because once people know of her powers that is the only thing people see in her. I find it so hypocritical that Secretary Gong is so scared, and low-key hates her, because he totally agreed to fight her, even when she warned him MULTIPLE times, and even gave him a helmet. It’s kind of his fault he got hurt (even though he was unaware of the extent of her power). Those guys she beat up, are actual THUGS, she was saving someone when they beat her up. I don’t really feel sorry for their predicament, even though Secretary Gong does (ugh) because they are BAD GUYS. We love her because she uses her powers for good usually, but using those powers is difficult for her, which the comedy of the show underplays. For the viewers she is defending good guys, but for her she is violently hurting people, and that weighs on her soul.

I just felt so sorry for her when that clip of her in the club leaked. I could just feel her anguish of people finding out about her powers, and the being put on display like some kind of “freak” in a circus.

Our beautiful hero on the other hand, sees her power, but also notices her spunky and quirky personality as well, as likes both those aspects. Her awesome bestie also sees her personality, which is great!

It kind of makes me realize why she cries at superhero movies (or at least why I think she cries). There a famous quote “with great power comes great responsibility.” You know, not everyone with superpowers has the luxury to become a superhero. Captain America, Spiderman, the Flash, Wonder Woman all were privileged enough to be in situations were they could use their superpowers to fight crime and hurt people under the cape of “hero,” escaping the consequences of hurting people that “normal people have to deal with.” For Bong-soon, she lived in a family were her superpowers were not treated as gifts, but as a curse, and was never allowed to develop or become a “superhero.” If you remember in the first episode, when the show described her lineage, one of the first ancestors was essentially a superhero protecting Korea from enemy invaders and crushing boulders (so awesome). Never treated like the superhero that she is, and being more of a cursed child, no wonder Bong-soon feels kind of like a freak, even though she is absolutely amazing. I think she see’s the lonely and dark side of having powers that cause real physical harm, and the pain it causes to those superhero’s, and so she cries because she emphasizes with their suffering.


Mizminnie reacts to a scene in “Strong Woman Do Bong-soon: Episode 6.” In comment #12, she writes:

No matter how strong you are, in my eyes, you’re still a fragile woman. …URGH. REALLY????

I know SHE found it romantic, but NO …just no! That is not romantic, that is some wannabe Macho-Bullshit.

Really. I just can’t with this …. He constantly berates her, treats her like she is stupid, talks over her and orders her around. And seeing her playing the simpering little girl everytime [Gook-doo] is close really frustrates me. Because she makes herself LESS in order for him to like her. Sure …he does not know better, because she has never told him about her superpowers. But it is quite clear that BS thinks he would not like her that way, if he knew the REAL her. He seemingly can’t even see her as a capable, smart, confidant woman because that is not part of his worldview … and that sentence basically proves it.

Thankfully we are apparently now getting to the part of the show where [Bong-soon] starts to slowly think differently, judging from the way she reacted and looked at [Min-hyuk] when he said he wanted to help her use her powers for good.

I like how this show has established from the beginning that MH has no pseudo-Alpha-Male hangups. That he is completely secure in his very own kind of manhood (and has also NO PROBLEM about people guessing he is gay and only balking at that when that means BS will not see him in a romantic light).
Fancying BS with all her strength, thinking her sexy not DESPITE but BECAUSE of it … is so great. She never had to hide herself from him …and he completely accepts her for who she is.
And that THAT is the man you should be going for … ..


Yes! Rather than belittling, he empowers her to be better (like giving her books to study, and adorable desk to study at).

I think this show is really interesting with the way it compared various levels of misogyny and belittling of women.

At the extreme end, we have the kidnapper. His objection of women is so extreme they literally exist only to meet his needs and reflect how he desires to shape them (thin dolls, controlling their food). He robs them of voice and agency.

In the middle are the other macho men who look down on woman and think it is okay to take advantage of their strength to coerce woman into doing what they want. Even mom to some extent is the inverse of this, cowing men to do what she wants because she is stronger (with the walnut business money).

Then you have GD. He is a nice guy who uses his strength to help the “little” woman. The fundamental problem is that he buys into the prevailing thinking about women that only sees them as small weak and helpless. No matter the truth, BS will always be “fragile” to him. She projects herself around him as that way because she overheard him say that is the way he likes women to be. His identity is somewhat dependent on relating to women in a certain way. As other commentators pointed out, he often talks over BS and imposes his view on her (even if he is actually entirely off base because he doesn’t know the truth).

BS is conflicted because she likes GD, but she must always hide who she truly is (devalue her true self and be embarrassed by it). Even as she secretly earns to embrace this aspect of herself and use it to help others.

That’s what makes MH awesome. He is confident in his own identity. He knows who she is and admires it. He even likes the idea his future potential daughters being strong like her. (I think BS’s dad might have been the same). He also acts as a catalyst to help her become a better self (but not in a way that imposes his own vision, but rather one that embraces hers).

I hope BS comes to realize that she doesn’t have to be shaped by someone else’s ideas to be worthy of love and relationship (no matter how well intended those ideas are) and learns to be value herself and be valued for her true self.


In “Tomorrow With You: Episode 11” comment #4.3, ar writes:

That scene when SoJoon was crying and saying Marin is his only family. oof! I cried too.

In the beginning knowing the future was fun and it seems like “well, why wouldn’t you want to know the future? I’d be curious?”. But man…knowing the future is much worse than not knowing at all. Sometimes, I’m like “well, if the future is making you miserable, stop visiting it and stop making these dumb decisions in trying to fiddle around with it”. But for me, the future is something that is vague and intangible. But for SJ, the future is as real and tangible and possibly set as the present. MR’s looming death is as real as if she is dying during the present.

And if a higher power had bestowed on you the power to visit the future, there must be a reason and wouldn’t the reason be to change the future?


And yoonjaepuppylove continues the same thoughts in “Tomorrow With You: Episode 12” comment #5:

I think that the major reason that So Joon struggles with choosing between the future and the present and attempting to change the future is because of his parents’ death. Since he blames himself for his parents’ death, he is trying to prevent the same thing happening to his remaining family (Ajusshi and Ma Rin). His obsession with the future is a very natural coping mechanism for the fact that he doesn’t have to ability to change the past/his parent’s death. So, I can definitely understand his behavior. After losing your parents in such a traumatic manner, it honestly would be strange if he wasn’t affected by it and was completely rational with his time-traveling related decisions. That being said, I love that Ma Rin challenges So Joon to get past his fear of the future and live in the present – it illustrates just how wonderfully she complements him as his wife.


misspeppermimi asks in comment #11:

Do you think we find So Joon so infuriating because we are mostly women or is his denseness universal?Are thete men out there thinking he is right? He misses so many signs and it just touches something in me that reminds me of so many men in my life. I eel the same way about Ye Hua from Eternal Love. I don’t even know what I’m asking. Maybe I’m just projecting out of pure frustration

Mil replies:

I am a guy. I wont say that I agree with him, but I can understand his behaviors and way of thinking. It is something complex to judge characters easily.


I always find it surprising to hear from guys on dramabeans. I have this image in my head that we’re mostly fan girls here.

In any case, I guess it’s natural for So Joon to be consumed by fixing everything using his time travelling power. Weren’t men evolved as natural protectors and providers? I mean they hunted and the classic career woman farmed. But really, I think it’s desperation that’s making So Joon less rational. He’s just desperately trying to save Marin’s life to the point of forgetting that she needs him in the present. He was as confused about it as shown in the last few minutes of the drama.


Yes, I generally agree with you.

He is so desperate, especially when Ki Doong said whether he wants the short term happiness while hurting her for the rest of her life; Or break up now and believe she will move on soon without worrying about him.

That’s why in his perspective, it is not two different women even though Ma Rin insists that she is the one who can be touched, and not someone talked something nonsense(while she has yet to know what will really happen).

Thanks for this thread, beanies. It’s always nice to get a different perspective on kdramas!


Imbuk talks about our heroine in comment #26:

Anyway, I love ma rin. It got me in the gut when she told she didn’t remember the way she lived before she got married. Because, its so true of a lot of relationships. You feel like your life revolves around them and you wonder how you managed to live before you met them. And suddenly, the unthinkable happens and you have to go back to the way you lived and while you were content the way you were back then (that is, before you met them) but now you feel clueless, miserable and in a dark place. Adjusting to your life post you end things with that person is like the hardest thing ever. I am glad that our OTP didn’t go through that and I would have flipped a table if anything similar to this had happened in this drama. Thank god, ma rin is just so awesome that she figured it out and set her mother on him (LOL) to bring things into perspective for him. How refreshing is it to see a drama heroine who takes her happiness and her fate into her own hands? You go, girl!


Yumi asks in “Go Ah-sung livens up the company meeting in Radiant Office posters” (#4):

Isn’t it a little weird that they are all trying to kill themselves and end up in the same office.

Is I possible they are all dead and the office is limbo? Or is it just a pecular office with a high percentage of suicidal people employed?


So the Boss From Hell is really The Boss From Hell?

Definitely the workplace can’t be heaven. In heaven, we should all be lying on satin clouds and strumming harps. I won’t begrudge an occasional appearance of a shirtless Ha Suk Jin though.


Fay asks about Oh Dae-hwan’s character in “Radiant Office: Episode 2” comment #

But they made him a 30 yr old, like seriously? the guy is a 38 yr old in real life.


people are rarely older than 30, superiors just have gray hair, but they are all actually 30. Chaebol grandpas are 30. everyone is 30. they get hit by truck of doom by 30 and still keep living and being 30 after 3 years of treatment or 6 years of coma.


Miranda writes about our “villain” in “Chief Kim: Episode 15” comment #

It amuses me that Yul is 98% shark-like perfection: he’s smart, he dresses well, he’s ruthless, he works the hierarchy like a pro, he’s attractive, he’s successful, he’s ambitious… It’s understandable that most people would encounter him, test him a few times and quickly decide he’s way too dangerous to mess with. That’s what Director Jo, her underlings and the rest of the company experience whenever they go up against him, and after they’ve lost to him a couple of times they decide he’s out of their league.

But Sung Ryong and Ha Kyung have managed to find that 2% of Yul that isn’t armor-plated, and they are working that angle like crazy. And Yul LIKES being messed with in a new and novel way, because it’s a challenge that fits well with his competitive spirit. He’s found a playmate and doesn’t want to give that up. In some ways, it’s like arranging playdates with a kid who is intimidating – it’s not completely the kid’s fault he’s born with natural advantages that translate into bullying, but you have to keep trying until you find that one alternate-energy kid who gels with the bully and de-escalates everything. Sung Ryong is apparently that kid.

With most actors, the flipping between perfection and schoolyard would’ve looked like schizophrenia. It’s a credit to Junho that it’s coming across more like “work hard, play hard”, because sparring with Sung Ryong does appear to be one of the only ways Yul knows how to play.


While Liina shares additional background info in “Rebel: Thief Who Stole the People: Episode 14.” She writes in comment #16:

I do love how witty the writer of this drama is with integrating parts of the Hong Gil-dong tale in the drama. How he twists them and how he/she plays his/her little word games.
For example the whole general thing. Firstly the writer seems to primarily use the Jeongju version of the story, which I haven’t read – sadly I do know only the 24 pages Seoul version, but I know about some of the differences between some of the versions – which is considered the most socialcritical one. In the Jeongju version it is actually young Gil-dong dream to become a general, which he can’t because of his standing.
Secondly the Mighty Child which is called Aegijangsu in Korea. Aegi means child and jangsu comes from the chinese characters ??, which means something like highest commander, high general. In the drama child Gil-dong doesn’t want to be the aegijangsu but he wants to become a peddler. Of course one of the korean words for peddler is — jangsu!

In the Tale of Hong Gil-dong (and I think this is something that is the same in all old text versions) Gil-dong’s band of thieves is called Hwal Bin Dang 活貧黨 Hwal: living; working; bin: poor; dang: organization = The organization that lives for the poor (people). The Gibang that Gil-dong is buying is named Hwal Bin Jeong. Both Hwalbin but a different chinese character resulting in a total different meaning…


In comment #4.3 of “Introverted Boss: Episode 16 (Final),” AnyDramaWillDo talks about how the drama could’ve been better:

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of the show was that it had the opportunity to make a real statement about mental illness that could have had a positive impact, but just ended up in a muddled mess that made no sense.

Hwan Ki had crippling social anxiety and the attempts to “fix” him could have showed both how he could overcome the negative aspects of his condition while teaching those around him to accept him for himself ( the show did this for the most part, but never really confronted it as a mental illness). Ji Soo self-harmed and attempted suicide, which could have been a way to illustrate depression and the importance of seeking treatment. Perhaps most important, Ji Hye seemed strong on the outside and revealing her deeper struggles could have highlighted realities about suicide since many people seem “normal” even while battling suicidal thoughts.

Instead, these characters’ struggles with mental illness stayed one-dimensional, or, even worse, were twisted to reinforce some negative stereotypes about these issues. For example, Ji Soo just got better after letting go of her obsession with Woo Il. So, shouldn’t all people who self-harm just be able to get over it? NO! That is exactly the wrong message. Ji Soo needed professional help. Making it seem as if her problems were easy to solve perpetuates the idea that mental illness is just “in the head”.

Even the notion that Ji Hye’s suicide was unexpected and uncharacteristic could have been used to demonstrate that suicide does not conform to stereotypes. Not every family who experiences suicide finds out “why” – sometimes there is no “why” that makes sense. The show missed the opportunity to explore the impact of suicide (though they did touch on it) in a way that could have had a positive impact, especially since suicide is a difficult topic in Korea.


kpopcrazymuggle shares her success story and love of kdramas in “Open Thread #491” comment #10:

Happiness is when you get a friend hooked on K-dramas! In that spirit, its been a good couple of weeks. I got my friend to watch Page turner at a sleepover which made her willing to give a full-length drama a try. I thought I’d suggest Solomon’s perjury/age of youth, you know baby-steps. But she was intrigued by Goblin’s storyline and well… Gong Yoo just made my task so much easier :D. I am happy to report she’s slowly making her way through Signal and is more than eager to watch Coffee Prince.
I thought I’d share this in a community that would understand the simple joy of having someone who you can get you gushing/squeeing at your laptop screen while watching content in a language thats not even spoken in your country. But it was not suee-worthy moments that k-dramas provide that actually got her hooked, it was the fact that we ended up having quite a few philosophical discussions after watch Goblin. Case in point was when Butterfly God/Dok Hwa tells are lovely duo that he merely asks humans questions and you are free to answer it the way you choose. Kinda like Dumbledore’s famous quote about our choices reflecting who we are. This and many other poignant scenes in this drama made it special for me in spite of its varied flaws. This for me is the reason I watch K-dramas over serials from my country (India). The issues tackled are varied enough that you get light-fluff for times when you want to de-stress, moving renditions of youth and challenges they face to dramas that can get you thinking about human nature and spirituality! And then of course the trope filled dramas that I love to hate on cause its so much fun!
P.S Next couple of weeks look to be a hectic work-wise. Any suggestions on short run time dramas? I’ve just picked up Thumping Spike and would welcome any suggestions Happy Weekend <3


Dramakichi talks about the tone of recent comment threads in #25:

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!! TGIF!!! Very rarely do I post anything, mostly just lurk. Just wanna say I am SUPER THANKFUL for DB. I don’t really have anyone to chat with about dramas, so I REALLY appreciate coming to DB and reading the recaps (which really help me understand the nuances of the storyline that often get lost in translation) and the comments. Some of you commenters are so quick-witted and funny! And thank you so much to the recappers who take the time (and lots of it) to watch, rewatch, make gifs, and write the recaps – where would we be without you???!!! Fighting!

Can I just say something, though? I’ve noticed recently that sometimes the commenters get snarky and sound salty – and are (what I interpret as) easily offended when they don’t agree with others’ comments. So when they respond, it’s almost like a verbal attack. Not sure if that’s just because these are new people to DB and/or if they are coming over from other sites or blogs where that is more common and more acceptable…

But treating people civilly and respectfully is what makes DB special. It’s a place where drama lovers around the world can come and comment and share their likes, dislikes, and feelings about dramas. And we all just need to agree to disagree. And that is OKAY. We all have different tastes, different beliefs, different experiences that affect and color our responses to different dramas and subject material. So we just need to please be mindful of that when commenting and sharing. Say what you want to say without being rude and insulting. That way we can keep DB the special place it is for everyone (except the trolls, of course, but thankfully those are kept to a minimum here…)

I hope I didn’t offend anyone… I suppose I’ll find out soon enough…

Thanks for reading. And again, SO thankful to DB and the DB community! Hope you all have a happy and blessed weekend!

Bad Cheese Cheddar:

A global community is a hard thing. Yes, the global soup kitchen is wonderful, but all the ingredients don’t think the same. It is a hard line to walk to have a discussion that doesn’t offend anyone in a global setting. What I like about DB is that we can have a discussion about anything and we work it out and continue to be friends.

From what I read people are working it out on their own and still able to continue on. That is friendship. If one party says something that offends another (intentional or not) they work it out together then they can continue on. Otherwise, how do we learn and accept others?

We all have different backgrounds, we all react differently. Something may make me laugh but offend someone else. I guess it is a form of freedom of speech.

I don’t disagree but I find nothing wrong with snarky if used correctly. Many anime characters use snarky humor.

Sera The Ms Temper:

I dont know about anyone else, I am very grateful to be a part of the community here. My level of maturity keeps growing honestly – throughout these years I learnt how to communicate better with ppl, to respect ppl’s opinion etc.

Not only that, as the non-English speaker, I keep learning many new words as well. -bonus part


And I think that’s what we all hope, Sera, that we all mature and grow, become more self-aware, more mindful of what we say and how we say things and how those things can affect others. It often happens that people mean/intend to say one thing, but the way it’s interpreted (for a variety of reasons) can be something entirely different. One thing I remember from a training class (and funny enough, I can’t remember which training class it was) – KNOW YOUR IMPACT! We should always try to be mindful of what we say because people interpret and understand things differently.

And you’re absolutely right on something else – the English language is very difficult. Even “native” speakers often can’t/don’t speak proper English. So that, too, impacts the message people try to get across.

One other thing I’ve really noticed with how (American) society has changed in general – people are often so easily offended these days and when they are, rather than discussing, taking the time to try to understand/listen (even if they don’t agree) the other side, they are quick to label the others “haters” because they don’t agree. Just because people don’t agree doesn’t mean they are “haters.” Again – it goes back to people understanding that people have other beliefs, other experiences, other ideals, so we will never ALWAYS agree. And again, that is OKAY. The world would be a very boring, vanilla place if everyone thought and believed the same thing. God made each of us special – individuals with our own individual, distinct personalities. Again, just because people disagree doesn’t make them “haters.” They just have a difference of opinion. That’s all. People need to get thicker skins and realize that just because others may not agree with you doesn’t mean they “hate” you or what you think or what you say. They just have a difference of opinion.

As in the other thread below, people need to learn to comment without making the comments so personal and not attack others on a personal level. People/Commenters shouldn’t have to resort to personal attacks just to make a point. If hurting, insulting, and attacking others is needed to make a point, then maybe making the point is not worth the price…

There’s a longer discussion on trolling and dealing with hate comments here.


We appreciate it when beanies keep a cool head in the face of provoking threads. Thank you for powering through and not giving up on the chance for great drama discussion.


73 Comments from the Beanut Gallery
  1. Purple Owl

    Oh. I was expecting a bunch of awesome follow up comments. Well, best way to get this question answered.

    What happens if there is more than one daughter born in the female line for DBS? Will the power be spilt up? It seems to have increased during Bong Soon’s adolescence.

    • 1.1 sorrynotsorry

      I don’t know if it was addressed, but I thought it was clear there could be only one. (apologies to Highlander fans.)

      • 1.1.1 RLD

        Apology accepted:)

    • 1.2 Dramaninja

      Ya just like in Smallvillesque style, DBS seems to have had attained her full potential during adolesence. Also, i’ve been curious about why she has been having these uncontrollable power surges of late.
      As for the birth question, it would be super cool to have two siblings with that much power. But that would mean that one has to be the evil? Afterall, the world needs balance. Unless ofcourse there is stronger evil brewing(I don’t like that idea)!!

  2. sorrynotsorry

    I’m just going to throw this out there, but isn’t Ji Soo’s character basically like the lead male in about 30 plus dramas? I don’t think Ji Soo’s character is actually meaning to be arrogant as we see in many typical dramas, he’s just unthinking and oblivious (because he doesn’t know about her physical strength) in an overbearing way. Regardless, this drama has made the more aware, understanding, in-on-the-secret 2nd male lead the male lead and lucked out by putting in an actor who could pull it off. It’s a nice twist in the standard story, but I think it’s why JS doesn’t really bother me in the drama though I actually wish they had stayed away from the love triangle …I think it would have been great to have him be clueless until the last 10 minutes of the last episode. But that’s just me.

    • 2.1 fab

      Agreed! I’m not ready for a triangle, their relationship is fine as it is now. Bong Soon is eventually going to get over her crush and fall for MH naturally. I’d rather the story’s focus be on BS coming to terms with her strength and protecting her CEO as his bodyguard among other things(anything BUT a triangle!).

    • 2.2 redfox

      yeah, I feel like his realization was way too sudden and didnt really blend in. maybe they should have gone with the gay-line

    • 2.3 silentbeluga

      You know, the more time we spend with Gook-Du, the more sense I see in casting Ji Soo in that role. Gook-Du is problematic, no matter which angle you choose to look at him. He wants to protect the heroine, which is a noble instinct, but he thinks that somehow that gives him permission to belittle her. He made catching the bad guys his job, which is awesome and we saw in the first episodes just how far he is willing to go for justice, but it also brings up the question of how far is too far? He has had feelings for Bong Soon for a long time, also great, mainly because feeling love is always a positive thing in my book, but somehow totally lacked the self-awareness to realise it even though he seemed to NOT be completely clueless when it comes to her feelings for him. So yeah, the guy is imperfect to say the least. And for that type of character, it would be very easy to fall into the “love-to-hate” category, especially when he is put in the position of being the main obstacle to the OTP’s romance.
      And that’s why the casting of Ji Soo seems a little bit genius to me, because you know that, when Bong Soon chooses not to be with him, emotions are going to hit Gook Du hard, and Ji Soo will sell the hell out of them. He will make you feel for his character. He has the chops, and the “likeability” and the vulnerability to make it happen and to save his character from being just another convenient plot-point to create conflict. He’s on a journey, I think. And I hope Gook Du emerges on the other side of the drama having learned a lot about strength, resilience, loyalty and being able to take a good look at himself and his attitude towards women. And I hope he becomes a better person and a better cop for it.

      • 2.3.1 bananachocolate

        Wow, great analysis. I hope the writer(s) or the drama is going in that direction for Gook Doo.
        I’ve been feeling that some of the characters are either one-dimensional or they are inconsistent.
        I hope they don’t waste Ji Soo.

        • Serendipity

          GD’s character is getting more and more inconsistent especially after his confession to Hee Ji…really disgusting.

      • 2.3.2 FrabbyCrabsis

        That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. At this point, I’m just waiting for Gook-du to discover Bong-soon’s strength and kick himself for the way he’s been acting all these years.

    • 2.4 EZ

      i also think that the intent behind that dialogue of GD about seeing her as fragile meant..

      wanting to protect her.. even if she is capable of protecting herself.. of taking care of even if she is strong and doesn’t need it

      and for any man.. it is legit to be scared of a woman wandering around dark alleys.. because no matter what..w hen a rapist is after you, it is not the time to delve into profound discussions of women equality and physical strength..

      you prepare yourself for the danger and make the wisest decisions in moment of danger..

      • 2.4.1 grey

        It’s ok to be worried about your girl friends specially now that their place became dangerous but GD overacts at BS. He yells at her and his face really looked angry all the time and treats her like a child. I never even remember seeing GD smile or laugh why he’s always serious?

        • bbstl

          Because he is. Silentbeluga is right, he’s on a journey. I’d like to see him with his mother and see what their relationship is like. Her independent woman author character isn’t exactly fitting with his attitude about women needing to be fragile for me, unless that’s exactly why he has that attitude.

        • sorrynotsorry

          There’s really been very little character development with GD. I actually think of him like one of her brothers in that they grew up together and he was friends with BS’s brother. As someone with brothers, I totally get the tone of some of these conversations it’s just sisters will give it right back to you. BS is all lovey dovey and not really paying any attention at all and even, perhaps, likes that someone is worried about her. I enjoy this drama for the leads, but really the story is all over the place.

  3. beanie there, dunnie that

    Ha! According to redfox and Dramaland, I’d fit right in if I went to Korea– I’ve been 29 for the last umpteen years (and I’d need to add a year to my age to conform to the Korean age-tracking system.) What a coincidence!

    • 3.1 redfox

      actually, they ARE all 29. They are 30 in korean years and 29 in the rest of the world. So you need not add anything. forget about 30, I didn´t count the korean age formula. Everyone is 29!

      • 3.1.1 Flightey Gazelles


        What does being 30 imply?

        • PakalanaPikake

          Never trust anyone over 30, of course. 😉

          *looks for a seat on the geezer bus*

          • bbstl

            🤣 omg *wheezes laughing at this whole thread*

          • Flightey Gazelles

            Lol, I’m laughing but I still don’t know what all that means( maybe cause I’m young) but if someone comes to me to ask why am laughing, I’d say joke. What the joke even is, I have no idea! lol

          • redfox

            read the original comment by Fay.

  4. Flightey Gazelles

    Always a treat to read up BOW.

    I’m itching painfully to enter and savour the Tomorrow With You threads but I avoid the discussions even on Beans Of Wisdom because I’m EXTREMELY spoiler averse about shows I’m particularly looking forward to. Sometimes I cave and follow through recaps ( Like Goblin, Shopping King Louie, WFKBJ) or start following because of passing curiosity that gets me hooked( WFKBJ, MDBC, Perfect Wife, Rebel) and sometimes because I’m enjoying the snarky comments when the show earns train wreck status( C&T4K, Introverted Boss, ML) or because of the scholastic discussions that take place( the Scarlet Heart recaps should be a University course lol, note the difference for Moon Lovers and Scarlet Heart).

    The comment on the missed opportunity that was Introverted Boss is spot on. But on the plus, we got Awesome Yeon Jung and kisses APLENTY!! Where’s @Sera? You wanted bed scenes, you got them! lol.

    • 4.1 Sera The Ms Temper

      Hahaha. And plenty of kissess. This show was a mess, but at least there are something memorable too. Park Hye Soo is rookie but she really know how to kiss, she doesn’t look awkward, even some senior actresses than her cannot do it. I will expect more kissing scenes from PHS in Age of Youth season 2 later lol.

      Shower Kiss. √
      Bed scene √ – the scenes didnt look so sexy but YWJ’s deep voice is sooooo sexy. RIP my heart💔
      Kiss in the Rain √

      And Hwan Ki The Mr Panda – I want to buy him.

      Now I am obsess with the OTP in TWY. I dont want to spoil it, but I keeps giggling when they are together. I want Lee Je Hoon too 😭

      I am someone who is not really into romance drama, but when I really love the couple I will love them for a long long time.

      • 4.1.1 Flightey Gazelles

        Lol, you even made a list!!

        Yeah, what is it about this innocent, shy ones suddenly turning up the heat? Before you realize what has happened, you’ve been SLAIN!! Like I said before, the ‘Spiritual Konji’ is a respecter of no one. It can turn Lambs into fierce Lions.

        Now you want Lee Je Hoon too? Aside Yeon Woo Jin, I thought you were also crushing on somebody from Chief Kim? Greedy greedy one!!!

        • Sera The Ms Temper


          Ehem I always have a crush for Namgoong Min from Girl Who Sees Smell’s days but now the baddie Junho also made into the list (I never really liked him before because he looks too cutee haha). But he looks hotter in Chief Kim – maybe because villain always look hot? heeee.

          I also think I have been so greedy nowadays 😝

          • Flightey Gazelles

            Its okay to be greedy. We LIVE to be greedy in dramaland fandom, that’s the only way to live long and not have hypertension.

          • Silentbeluga

            Oh, but being greedy is so goooooood in dramaland. Don’t feel bad about your list, you got what, three, four guys on there? I have one as long as my arm. I think you’re being perfectly reasonable with four crushes ;-p

          • Flightey Gazelles

            I don’t even wanna mention mine because I have a new person to crush on every five minutes!

          • Sera The Ms Temper

            Actually I have many more lol. The strange part (maybe not so strange heh) i always crushing the not so popular ones like Lee Min Ho, Lee Jong Suk etc. I have soft spot for underrated and not so popular ones. Same goes to actresses. 😍 lol.

          • Flightey Gazelles

            Lol, I don’t mind crushing on the popular ones if they happen to push my ‘mumu buttons’ but also have a wide range of crushes down to unconventional ones.

  5. amy

    I am soooo soooooo happy to see Lee Junho getting some praise for his acting.

    I heard good reviews abt the drama and was really praying that it do well but however chose not to watch it. Because as we get into the story it make us root for the hero and hate the villain. while i have no problem cheering for Ngm’s character I dont want to hate junho’s.

    I had the same problem with kim kang woo’s ‘the story of a man’ but finally decided to give it a go. I watched the first two eps completely and then switched to recaps becoz it wasn’t much interesting for me. But what hooked me was the psychopath Do woo and his relations ship with eun soo. I skimmed the drama just to see their scenes. that was some class acting there. I wished the story focused more on him, as an anti-hero.
    I may watch Chief Kim sometime later but for now I am happy cheering from here.

    • 5.1 Sera The Ms Temper

      No one can hate Junho because he is not the typical villain like we always watched in kdrama. hehe. This drama is a romcom, so they also made him quite funny sometimes and some spoiler – he has obsession with foods lol. Junho should do Let’s Eat for his next drama but I also want to see him playing a real villain like psycho (something like NGM did in Girl Who Sees Smell) because he has the talent for it.

      Anyway, we all rooting for both Namgoong Min and Junho characters. They are not the typical hero and villain as we always see in kdrama. 😊 Their bromance tooo 👬👥

    • 5.2 Flightey Gazelles

      I think I first saw Lee Junho in Something something Sword, the one with Kim Go Eun, Lee Byun Hun and Jeon Do Yeon(that was him, right?) and even though that movie was a fantastical mess, I noticed his potential and wanted to see him on more things ( his prettiness helped too lol). Am glad to see him been recognized.

      • 5.2.1 Sera The Ms Temper

        I never really thought he is a good actor before, I saw him in movie Twenty and Memories of Sword but not really amazed. Then I read Jeon Do Yeon was the one recommended him in Memories of the Sword, but I didnt really convinced yet. Only now in this drama I agreed that JDY probably already recognized his talent before.

  6. Candy

    I LOVE this week’s BoW comments.
    Completely agree with @thebaskestcase views on the heroine being less than enthusiastic about her super strength. Logan,anyone? Not all want to get into the messy life of a superhero. It might seem selfish to outsiders–How can you not want to have powers when you are able to save people?!–but have we considered that they are also human beings who may wish to lead an ordinary life? Peaceful life is highly underrated imo.

  7. mon

    People these days are too soft and too sensitive. You’re offended with what a person said on the internet? Well, guess what, nothing in real life comes easy. Maybe I am getting too old to care about such things, but I hate this overblown PC culture that seems to be the rage lately. Instead of complaining that this user or that user is mean, why not just ignore it already.

    • 7.1 OJM

      If I may offer an explanation about why it is hard to ignore a mean comment.. from the perspective of a fan.
      I am a fan of one of the celebrities who were attacked on here. As a fan, we know [from the fanaccounts of fanmeetings, interview in magazines and occasional clips] that even though she appears cheerful on screen, and is always bright, behind the scenes, she is aware of all that is said about her. We’ve seen account of her repeating sayings about her appearance complex that are not even commonly said, which means, she knows. We’ve heard about how much she worried and cried behind the scenes. We’ve seen how she changed herself physically to a standard less prone to criticism. As a celebrity, she is even more vulnerable to such comments because, unlike us, her entire career relies on the opinion of others, of the fickle public. As just a young girl, such comments can be devastatingly hurtful.

      This is the reason why we find it hard to ignore comments like that. Because she might not see those comments, but others will, and others will be introduced to a new train of thought about her. And as the internet usually works, many people don’t think for themselves, and end up repeating back whatever they’ve seen has been said about a person, many times without doing the research themselves and without bothering to verify the veracity of that information. Call it bandwagon, sheep mentality, brainwashing, whatever. So she might not see those comments here specifically, but those comments can be repeated where she would see them. As a fan, it is very hard to leave those comments to be introduced to this site, unchallenged. Of course, we’re aware that we cannot shielf her from every single mean comments, or perhaps even any at all. But when you love someone, it is a natural need to want to do our best to protect them as much as we can, even if this act of love is seen as an insignificant gesture to others. Even if it is not our best, we feel as if we need to protect her and put in some effort into defending her, as fans, – at the very least with the same amount of effort put into demeaning her by others.

      • 7.1.1 OJM

        If there is someone who dislikes her so much to make a comment about it, as fans who love her, we want to show that there are people who love her even more and who will also comment for her with love. That comments about her are not just reserved to mean comments. Isn’t that a natural instinct, to speak up when you hear someone you love being badmouthed about and attacked? When you walk by, and see just a stranger being addressed rudely by other people, isn’t a natural instinct to want to tell others to stop? It might sound futile, but can you understand a bit where we’re coming from? At least, we don’t want to leave it alone and make it easy for people to write mean comments about her. Yes, we’re soft and sensitive. Humans tend to be so and sensitive regarding things they love. It hurts more. It’s not a fair fight, when others can write a mean comment so easily because it does not concern them personally, when we have to receive a blow where it hurts. Still, even if we’re the softer party here, the more sensitive one, even if the blows we’re dealt with will hurt more than what we can give, because the issue concerns us more than the other party, I don’t want to give up on defending her. Even if it’s more difficult on us. As a fan, she has brought much joy in my life, so I want to return just a little bit of favor and protect my source a joy with what little I can, even if it’s just a comment on the internet.

        • Sorry about the typos

          I re-read and saw many mistakes. English isn’t my mother-tongue (I’m also learning it from being on this site), so it is flawed still. It becomes even more difficult when I get worked up and emotional. As you can tell, it affects me much. ^___^;;;;; I just want to explain to others that we’re defending her out of love. That by responding, we want to show that mean comments are not unchallenged, and that there are also people who love her and have another perspective and show that there are people who think it’s not right to write mean comments, not just about someone we love, but about anyone. I’m really passionate about that issue, so my English ends up suffering. ^___^;;;;

          • deb

            LOL Ur english is fine. It’s better than mine and english is the only language I know, unless u count a few words of spanish and korean. LOL

            Ur talking about Joy right and that TLAHL post right?? Unless I’ve missed out on some other drama going on in DB?

            If it’s Joy, ur comment about how she appears cheerful in front of the camera reminded me of this hilarious clip of hers atop of a valley I’ve seen around (with deok hwa).


            I find the english cc added especially funny, like the “being an idol in front of camera.jpg” caption.

            With ur comment, it’s giving me another perspective when im looking at that clip now. Like its so sad she feels like she has to smile in front of the camera no matter what is said about her, or even if she’s hanging on a swinging bridge, u know? I’m not a fan per se (just know her from WGM and a few music videos) so I don’t know much about her struggles, but it’s sad to think the instinct has been so hammered into her she even smiles when she’s scared to death. So sad. I think everytime i watch that funny clip now, I’ll be thinking of that. 🙁

          • Delia

            lmao @deb what an adorable clip. I never get sick of watching it. Sungjae is such a prankster, poor her 😀 😀 😀 he said in another later episode that it was his favorite moment. 😀 😀 😀
            about idols… it’s a common problem I think. Image is such a huge thing for them + there are criticism abound for the smallest thing with idols so it’s normal for them to have to appear perfect and happy at all times as idols.

      • 7.1.2 fanie

        Your english is very good! Except for a few hints here and there, you could pass as a native. 🙂

        I understand your protective instinct. Especially if you’re talking about joy like someone guessed. I’ll be honest, I don’t stan girl groups, not since 2ne1 from several years ago. All the groups I end up stanning are boy groups but from an objective pov, I have to admit girl idols have it much much much tougher. They have a lot more restrictions on their freedom, are monitored and scrutinized and criticized more, have to starve themselves on top of it. The public is also much less accepting of girl idols dropping their polished image and present something less than perfect. In that sense, boy groups have more leeway and less expectations. Plus, girl idols on average debut much younger than boy idols. Poor chicks.
        On reflection, this might be why I’m less inclined to stan girl groups. On a subconscious level, I probably figured it’s too tough for me to take in all the scrutiny and criticism and be able to enjoy the experience. Safer with boy groups. lol

      • 7.1.3 LM

        OJM, if, like many are guessing, this is about Joy, I hope you weren’t hurt too much by those comments. I also left a small comment in that post, not because I’m a fan: as a matter of fact, I only found out about her existence from dramabeans; but because I’m a mother. It hurts my heart to think of how my daughter, or how anyone’s daughter, would receive those comments. I wanted to show a bit of solidarity. That’s why I commented. Not because I am sensitive or soft, but because I thought it was right to tell those commenters and anyone who is reading, how much I think it’s wrong to leave destructive comments like that. I don’t blame if others choose to ignore it. However, I don’t think it’s PC of me to point out when something is hurtful, and call out people when I thoroughly disagree with how they conduct themselves.

        • Flightey Gazelles

          Hmmmmn, looks like I made a wise decision not to click on the latest The Liar And His Lover article…and I simply did that to avoid spoilers since I plan on watching the show.

          @OJM, you articulated very well what happens with fans and just generally supportive entertainment watchers.

          • Purple Owl

            Same. I didn’t click because this far into advertising, I just want to wait until I get to see Lee Hyun Woo. I mean, the drama lol

            I don’t know anything about Joy other than being excited for Red Velvet’s debut, learning their names and then not ending up stanning. The most I know comes from the SungJoy love I’ve seen on DB.

            I’m glad I missed that mess. I though OJM was talking about Suzy at first until they mentioned looks. And then I thought Kim So Eun but I didn’t recall that being a problem on DB but Facebook.

            Ugh, I don’t understand why people take the time to write 100% negative things. I’ve written comments that could be considered kinda negative but imo I’ve always had 60% be something positive.

      • 7.1.4 Purple Owl

        Thank you for this. It was beautiful to read. And had so much positivity about fandom life.

    • 7.2 thelady

      People wanting to being treated with respect and dignity is not overblown PC culture it is just about treating people humanely.

  8. korfan

    Totally agreeing with Miranda’s comment regarding Seo Yul in the drama Chief Kim!

    He’s certainly been an interesting and fun character to watch. The actor, by the way, is doing a wonderful job with this character.

  9. bebeswtz

    Thank you Dramabeans Staff and to other readers/commentators for finally making acknowledgement about the unnecessary snark and sarcasm (and sometimes, flat out hatred) that has been going on in this community for quite some time now… Finally ~~
    Snark and sarcasm is only fun and nice when it’s meant to be a joke, but when it starts to become malicious, and even as far as possibly making comments that sound like a verbal attack on an individual– in this case, the actors/actresses/celebrities that we read about on here and their work– then it’s not fun and games and all nice anymore because you’re actually now making an attack on a person and that’s just unacceptable.
    I understand when I recapper/commentator might not agree with something that they might have watched in a particular scene or even the whole entire drama, but people, if you don’t like something, you can still be adults and civil about it, there’s no need to bash the show/actors/actresses and make comments that make others uncomfortable all around. Worst comes to worst, stop watching whatever it is that you are watching, and stop recapping/commentating whatever it is that you are recapping/commenting on; The world doesn’t end when you stop recapping/commenting on something, but someone’s world/life could end with just a comment that they’ve seen/read online somewhere… There’s really no excuse for being mean, and if anyone thinks that they can be mean behind the facade of an internet alias because they are not seen, well then, I think it’s time to reset some priorities in and about life…
    This has been my major issue with Dramabeans as of late, since early of last year (2016), so I am happy it is being acknowledged by the Staff in your BoW and by others who have read and commented on this week’s BoW =)

    • 9.1 Nat

      It’s selfish for people to think celebrities have an obligation to have a tough skin, just so they can satisfy people’s desire to say whatever they can and use “it’s their job” as a poor excuse to justify the harshness of their words.
      the reality of it is, most people wouldn’t last a day in the life of all those they are criticizing. behind all that glamour, there is an iceberg of problems. it’s not for nothing an alarming large chunk of celebrities end up in rehab, and are statistically more vulnerable to mental illness. most people wouldn’t make it, and only the most passionate about it would persevere for a minute minute chance that they’ll get through the cracks and make it. The problem is the more desperate people, the ones who love the arts the most, so much so that they would not give up on a futile dream, tend to be the more sensitive people. People who are in the arts are on the sensitive end of the spectrum, but of course, they are expected to have a “tough skin” because “it’s their job.” It might be someone’s job to be polite to a client no matter what, but that absolutely does not make it any more right for the client to be rude.

      • 9.1.1 Coldplay

        ditto to both of the comments above. I couldn’t agree more. Snark is fun until it becomes harmful. Having fun at the expense of someone else shouldn’t be seen as an ok thing to do.
        It’s a mistake to think our comments are harmless when we see in the news all the time that it is not so. Not just to stars, but also to society. When people go around & see comments like that, they start applying those comments to themselves and it becomes a standard, and we’ve got ourselves with a society rife with people having a low sense of self-esteem.

        • LM

          I’m struggling even now with standards I shouldn’t set for myself about how I look. There’s always this constant pressure I feel about how I must look, and this, with a wonderful husband to tell me I’m beautiful as often as he can. I don’t even want to imagine how it feels to have to deal with other people’s standards as a living. It’s really no surprise so many actresses and actors crack under that much pressure, with everyone entitling themselves to talk about their clothes to their hair to their face and body. I try not to add any more to that pressure. It’s partially a selfish act on my part, because I don’t want my children to grow up and feel that pressure themselves to look good, the way I felt growing up.

          • Andrea

            It’s partially a selfish act on my part, because I don’t want my children to grow up and feel that pressure themselves to look good…

            I don’t think that’s selfish at all! I think it’s incredibly important to try to model good behavior and healthy body image for our children. I am female, and I am so glad that my mother never talked badly about her body or her weight or dieting when I was growing up, because I think it helped inoculate me against some of the toxic body-image crud that women deal with in society.

            I think you’re doing a great job as a mom when you pay attention to stuff like this, and again, I don’t think it’s selfish at all! ^_^

        • redfox

          *sigh* must be exhausting to be as mature as you all are. excess self-control gets you an ulcer, you know. I would not have even noticed comments about someones´ looks, and I generally avoid reading whatever written by any idol fans, but blowing the issue up like this will only draw more attention to those comments. Was that intentional?

          • bebeswtz

            It’s not “blowing up the issue”…. It’s bringing attention and aware to unnecessary comments in hopes that people will stop because it’s unnecessary, hope that people get it across to themselves that it’s not okay to post malicious comments here– or anywhere, for that matter— especially in such a cowardly manner such as under an internet alias where no one can see you and get in touch with you, and also to bring awareness of it to the Staff so that more work and effort can be made and done to filter through the comments before getting approved and posted, since the staff “gets e-mails about all the comments”…. So yes, this was intentional, in all it’s forms and purposes, because bullying, on and offline is just unacceptable
            Also, I’m not sure about everyone who replied, but as for myself, it’s not just about the idols/idol-actors, it’s about all the actors/actresses and THEIR WORK (i.e. the dramas and variety shows that they are a part of) that has and will ever be mentioned and/or recapped here…
            At the top of the comments box where you post your comments, it says to “Stay civil, don’t spoil, and don’t feed the trolls”… I guess some people just forgot what civility means…

    • 9.2 bbstl

      Well, I guess I’m going to be the one who goes out on the limb to support snark. Hatred and meanness toward people is bad, but not bashing bad shows and performances, are you kidding me? The dramabeans site’s stated mission is to DECONSTRUCT kdrama. That’s not going to be all flowers and cupcakes. For example, I wouldn’t have missed the snarkfest that was Hwarang for the world.

      • 9.2.1 LM

        There were a lot of comments mocking Ahreum’s eyebrows and the princess’ voice, something they naturally have, which I found rather out of line. I too, don’t mind, snark on how a drama turns out. It’s just that people forget the line separating drama and real people, and extend their criticism of the drama, into personal criticism of real people, which I find problematic.

        • bbstl

          I recall many comments noting the Princess’s unusual voice but not ridiculing it. And everyone in the show took grief for their overdone eyebrows which was an obvious styling choice but a rather inexplicable one. AhRo unfortunately over-utilized her eyebrows in the same repetitive patterns that reminded some of us of things like Grumpy Cat and Angry Birds.

      • 9.2.2 S

        I too used to think it was ok. When I meet old friends at school reunions, I still get called “Savage Sam” even though it’s been decades. That tells you how much bite I can have. Haha.
        One day, a friend who always laughed along with us confessed to me how much they felt secretly hurt. We were all close, so I stupidly thought all my jokes were fine, because we all laughed. I was young. When I realized how much I could hurt, I toned it down a lot. Frankly, her confession was the most shocking thing I’d experienced at the time. I thought we all had a fun time.
        I thought everyone liked me because of my jokes. I wasn’t wrong. Anybody whom you talk to would tell you they love me because of how fun I am. I naturally make jokes. It’s who I am, I can’t really change that. But ever since that day, I make sure I don’t hurt people with them, and poke where it hurts.
        Because as much as my friends like me because of my sarcastic self, it doesn’t make them immune to being hurt by it when I forget to be considerate. It’s a lesson I have to be constantly reminded of. It’s really not easy to restrain myself sometimes. I’m Savage Sam after all, and will always be. 🙂 But I still restrain myself and set a limit to what I say, because I don’t want others to be hurt, especially not my friends.

        • Gabby

          Mwahahahahahaha. Savage Sam. I don’t know why but I really your nickname. 😛 One rule of thumb I found really works for me is before saying stuff, I try to replace people’s name with my name. Or add my name in. For example, if I’m about to say “xxxx,” I’ll say it in my head “Gab, xxxx” and look into how I would feel hearing it. Online, I would replace the names with my fav’s name, say, if I wanted to say “this actor is xxxx,” I would replace “[my fav’s name] is xxxx,” and either stop myself from saying it, or re-word it in a way I would find it more pleasant to hear. It works well for me.

          • Flightey Gazelles

            That’s a good strategy though some people may decide that since it personally won’t hurt them if someone told them such, then its the same for everyone. Which can be harmful because what may tickle you silly may crush someone’s feelings. Its happened to me before.

          • S

            Thanks. I used to hate that nickname, thought it was too beastly. I was a bit wild (I’m a lot more tame now). It caught on among my friends, and then the whole class. I grew to like it. I’m grateful savage has recently been used with a more positive connotation than back then, I feel less embarrassed to be called that now. And good advice.

          • crayon

            It would’ve been so much better if everyone in here used your method.

          • mary

            @Flightey Gazelles, I think Gabby’s suggestion is a good place to start. Because how else do we gauge if what we say is hurtful? Based on my observation, almost anything is found offensive by someone online nowadays. Should we just keep all criticism to ourselves and only say positive things? 🙁

            But aside from telling ourselves to be more mindful with our words, maybe we should also teach ourselves to be more accepting of criticism. And teach ourselves to learn to disagree better. We can’t avoid offending someone with our words, but we can avoid escalating a pointless discussion with even more hate. Being able to discern trolling vs legitimate criticism will save us a lot of “internet fights”.

            When people fight trolls with even more hateful speech, it defeats their purpose of showing the other party they may be wrong. Because (1) a troll isn’t here to be convinced of the opposite side, and (2) a normally disagreeing person won’t be convinced if you attack them instead of their argument. (Plus, it doesn’t convince the bystanders of your point.)

            I’m saying this because I’ve read perfectly normal, non-confrontational criticism of shows and actors being accused of elitism, hypocrisy, “being a hater” etc. when there could have been a legit reason behind that person’s opinion. It’s come to a point where I just keep most of my kdrama opinions to myself. But at the same time, it saddens me that we have come to this.

          • mary

            Oh, and I don’t mean to say that you’re the one doing that. Just that, I think it’s a dangerous line of thought to be so scared that what we say can offend someone. Because saying something that may be offensive is an inevitable situation.

            It’s much more better if we all learn to discern trolls vs beanies who are open to proper discussion on a drama. And also it’d be great if we can all argue our opinions better without resorting to personal attacks.

          • bbstl

            As always, mary comes in with words of wisdom. It makes me really sad to learn that your now-rare comments are not due to being so busy but because of self-censorship. That’s a loss and a problem.

        • Flightey Gazelles

          Thanks @mary. You’re right, these days, people online get very offended about so many things its hard to keep track of. I’m still learning how to spot and quickly let go of a pointless argument with incendiary potential.

          There’s a gossip site I visit because I love the intelligent and respectful opinions over there, but I’ve had to cut back on it. Because the way normal interviews by celebrities are analyzed, overanalyzed and reanalyzed until their twisted into negative meaning is just….exhausting. And being the impressionable person that I am, I don’t want to end up hating my favs and assigning some nefarious motives to them because of so many people’s willful misinterpretation of their words.

          I used to get worked up, thinking about how to defend them( I never do ha, I only started dropping a few comments here and there, all shallow ones), but now, I’ve learnt to just shrug and scroll along.

      • 9.2.3 bebeswtz

        As you said, it’s to deconstruct the K-drama: Not mock or make fun of the actors and actresses, not extend their hate of a drama character over to real life and onto the real person of the actors and actresses, PDs, MCs, singers, idols, idol-actors/actresses… There’s a difference

    • 9.3 sorrynotsorry

      re: the snark. Of course people are within their bounds to take on a drama that has issues and point them out, but I think sometimes the snark and the piling on with relatively few commenters can overtake a thread. When it goes that way, I usually just avoid DB for those dramas because if you actually enjoy the show instead of wanting to pick it apart then weeding through oodles of snark to get to discussing other elements becomes a not very fun experience. At the end of the day, it’s not that big a deal. I still enjoy my dramas same as I did before I discovered DB. I actually find the recap threads most enjoyable when there are under 50 comments.

  10. 10 MM

    Thanks to DB and many beanies in this community to make my time here worth spending. I don’t use English as my mother tongue, too. But there are some beanies who praised me for my English. It flatterred me, yes, but it’s worth knowing that your kind words encourage people many times. They can be their better selves, so kind words really help. They are powerful. Harsh words are powerful, too. They can effectively hurt people’s feelings. They lessen people’s self confidence and esteem. So it would be good to try to criticize within limits. Offer them some space to improve. Try not to make it personal attacks. The world would be worth living more.

    People tend to be hurt from the words/actions of those they care. It doesn’t matter a bit if those things are from the ones they care not. I used to suffer temporary mental disorder for sometime because I was too stressed for too long from the words and actions of people around me whom I thought care for me and loved me. (Yes, I was totally wrong about that.) Then I recovered from that nightmare with continuous love and care from the other group of people who really care and love me for who I’m. I have to say that after that experince I grow to care much less about people and their comments. I care less about the world tbh but much more about people who were there with me during those nightmares. So as for me, the less you rely on others’ acceptance the less likely you’ll suffer from any form of mental illness. The world is not all about rainbows and unicorns but it’s not all about nightmares either. I’d encourage people to be mentally strong and accept themselves for who they are, not the words from others who make millions harsh comments about them.

    As much as I’d like to encourage people, including idols to be mentally strong, it’s worth noting that many of them esp. the latter are less likely to be able to avoid depending on people’s acceptance. So I’d like to encourage people to be mindful of their words too, I mean you just don’t want to destroy a person’s life or be part of it, do you? If some people do (as I guess some just don’t care) then it’s always safest to be prepared for that as we’re living in a real word not a dream one. In order to live well you just have to be strong. That’s the truth of life. One of the biggest lessons I learnt from my experience is that if you don’t hurt yourself and others you are free to do anything. And you can accept every part of you just who you are, not the you others want you to be.

    • 10.1 bbstl

      I would wish for everyone the strength that you have found, MM ❤

      • 10.1.1 MM

        Thanks! I wish everyone that strength without having to pay the price I paid : )

        I actually felt wrong for my comment for Seohyun in her recent thread. Though I hold a somewhat negative opinion about her, there is a difference between having such opinion and posting it online. I will be more mindful of that from now on.

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