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Because This Life Is Our First: Episode 7

The effects of the previous episode begin to set in as Se-hee and Ji-ho try to establish a new rhythm, and renegotiate the boundary between them. However, today Se-hee begins to learn that the line between them isn’t as clearly drawn as he had once believed, especially when someone new begins hanging around with Ji-ho.

 
Episode 7: “Because this is my first YOLO”

Over the phone, Ji-ho tells Bok-nam while staring dead into Se-hee’s eyes that she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Se-hee looks away, then politely announces that he’s heading out to work.

Once he’s gone, Bok-nam tells her that he saw Dog Bok-nam running around in the alleyways again, therefore, she needs to come meet him there. She tries to decline, since she wasn’t selected for the cafe job, but Bok-nam doesn’t take no for an answer.

At work, all of Se-hee’s colleagues crowd around Bo-mi’s computer, looking at a male user whose profile received the highest rating in the male category. Oh, it’s Bok-nam. Huh.

Meanwhile (after one-sidedly arguing with Cat), Ji-ho arrives at the alleyway and begins looking around for the imaginary dog. Bok-nam scares the life out of her when he walks up, then leads her right back to the cafe without explanation.

She’s bewildered and refuses to go inside, and confesses that she wasn’t selected for the part-time job, since she never got a callback. Bok-nam is equally shocked and asks how she could’ve failed since she went to college.

Ji-ho cites her age or lack of relevant experiences as possible reasons why she wouldn’t be a good fit. Besides, she adds, the owner might find her uncomfortable.

Bok-nam finds that sentiment the most ridiculous of all, and says she looks like a total pushover. She isn’t sure if she should take his description as a compliment, but he insists that she should. He then decides to take action on the nebulous status of her employment and drags her into the cafe by the wrist to confront the owner.

As soon as the owner sees Bok-nam, he begins scolding him for coming in late (calling him by name a couple of time, and confusing Ji-ho, who is still looking for a dog). She catches sight of his name stitched onto his apron, and finally realizes her mistake. Bok-nam then threatens the quit if Ji-ho isn’t hired, to the owner’s exasperation.

A little later, the owner swears that he meant to call her (but his nervous eyes say otherwise). Ji-ho gives the owner the opportunity to rescind the offer since he was blackmailed into it, but the owner insists that it’s fine as long as Bok-nam gets along with her.

Seeing Bok-nam outside on his break, she approaches. He’s happy that she got hired, but when she asks about his unusual interest in her, they’re interrupted by an urgent food delivery.

Bok-nam hops onto his motorcycle and calls Ji-ho over. She’s alarmed when Bok-nam puts a helmet on her head, promising to answer her question after they make the delivery.

Turns out, the location of the delivery is right by Se-hee’s company, and they arrive just as Se-hee and all his colleagues return from a coffee break. Bo-mi recognizes Ji-ho from afar, but everyone becomes awkward when Bok-nam suddenly begins fixing Ji-ho’s helmet hair.

Ji-ho backs away when he gets too handsy, and asks for an explanation for his behavior. So he finally answers, “Why do you think? It’s because I like you.”

Her eyes widen in shock, so she rushes to clarify that while she doesn’t have a boyfriend, she does have a husband. Nice going, Ji-ho. But then Bok-nam replies that he doesn’t care if she has a husband, and asks if that means she can’t have a boyfriend. Huh?

Later, Ji-ho reports Bok-nam’s words to Su-ji, who takes a keen interest in the potentially salacious topic. Ji-ho is hung up on Bok-nam’s young age and her uncertain financial future. She’s also depressed that someone as young as him is now her co-worker, and teasing her.

She advises Su-ji not to quit her job no matter what, and Su-ji reminds Ji-ho that she spends her days being teased by old men, so Ji-ho shouldn’t be complaining to her.

They switch topics to discuss Ho-rang, who is still reeling from Won-seok saying that love and marriage are separate things. Ho-rang suddenly gets a determined look in her eyes, then arrives at Su-ji’s for their girl’s night.

Ho-rang asks her friends for a book recommendation on “the reproduction of mankind and the necessity of marriage.” Her friends grow worried for her sanity, but Ho-rang assures them that she has a plan. She explains that she spent the last seven years making Won-seok into the perfect boyfriend, but now it’s time to make him into a good husband.

She gets up to leave, on a mission, until Su-ji reveals Ji-ho’s younger man problem. She sits right back down and calls for soju.

Ji-ho arrives home late that night, and sees Se-hee cleaning up Cat’s vomit. Ji-ho worries that Cat might be sick, and when Se-hee mentions taking Cat to the vet, she begins to offer to take Cat, but stops herself short as she recalls Se-hee’s words during the “Woori” debacle about being uncomfortable.

Instead, she tells Se-hee that she’ll be out at work tomorrow, and surprisingly Se-hee already knows where she’s working: “YOLO Cafe.” He explains that he saw her earlier today on the motorcycle.

She starts to describe how the situation transpired and how Bok-nam likes to joke around, but Se-hee remarks that Ji-ho seems to have gotten quite close with Bok-nam, and notably doesn’t look at her as he speaks.

He abruptly bids her good night, but Ji-ho picks up on his strange behavior and asks if he’s mad at her. He denies it, somewhat confusedly, then goes inside. She chalks up his different vibe to being worried about Cat’s health (reminding herself that there is no reason for him to be upset about her matters).

However, in his room, Se-hee is not unaffected by Mr. Motorcycle, especially because we see in a flashback that Se-hee learned that Ji-ho’s new co-worker is also the highest scorer on their app. Bo-mi and the other employees had noted Bok-nam expensive motorcycle and speculated on how a part-time employee could afford it.

In the present, Se-hee seems troubled by Bok-nam, and he studies Bok-nam’s app profile before going to bed.

In their rooftop apartment, Ho-rang blatantly watches a video of muscly guys weightlifting at the gym. She tells Won-seok to understand her needs since she is ovulating. Hahaha!

Won-seok is confused by the correlation, and so Ho-rang proceeds to explain to him in scientific terms that during ovulation women experience a strong desire for breeding and instinctively search out muscular mates.

Won-seok gets a naughty glint in his eyes, and starts undressing. He literally jumps her, but she’s ready for it and athletically pushes him to the side. She informs him that unfortunately she won’t be able to do it with him tonight.

He’s perplexed, since everything she’s said indicates that she wants to get busy, but alas, she informs him that hormones cause women to instinctively search for stable men who can protect them. However, since their relationship has no chance of resulting in marriage, she supposes that her body is now interpreting him as a threat to her stability.

He becomes impatient and asks if she loves him, and she confirms it, using his own words about how she can’t live without him. In a matter-of-fact tone, she presents a logical explanation of how it’s too risky to sleep with someone who is so ambivalent about their future together since it may result in pregnancy.

She adds that she won’t sleep with him just because she loves him, then delivers the final blow: “Are love and sexual desire the same thing?” Thereby mirroring his speech about love and marriage not necessarily correlating.

The next morning, Se-hee and Ji-ho coincidentally head to work at the same time. They ride the bus wordlessly together until Ji-ho kindly offers Se-hee one of her breakfast bars. He accepts, then they chat about the close proximity of their working places. Ji-ho excitedly begins encouraging him to come visit, but again stops herself and remembers him asking that they avoid situations where they need to act like a couple.

She says never mind, then gets off the bus, and Se-hee’s expression remains unreadable. He hears Bok-nam call out to Ji-ho as “Noona” and sees her smiling in return before the bus pulls away.

Her smile is actually one of incredulity due to Bok-nam’s familiarity. He decides to call her noona going forward, but warns her not to use banmal since he doesn’t want a girl he’s interested in to use it (i.e., talking down to him based on their age gap).

She’s sort of impressed with his dauntlessness, but doesn’t seem all that moved. Later he boldly swoops in and ties up her hair while her hands are occupied, taking her aback. He makes a comment about her looking prettier with her hair tied up, and she points out that he’s never seen her that way, so he amends his tense, then compliments her neckline. Uh, is this a red flag?

Ji-ho reports to her friends about working with Bok-nam, and they call his behavior sexual harassment, vowing to come over immediately to teach him a lesson.

However, when they arrive at the cafe they’re totally useless, since all they do is stare dreamily (ogle) Bok-nam, and encourage Ji-ho to go for it.

Nearby, Se-hee is forced into buying dessert for all his colleagues after a company meal. Bo-mi suggests they go to the cafe Ji-ho works at. They energetically greet Ji-ho as they enter and begin picking out their desserts, but then Se-hee orders seven Americanos sans cakes.

Sang-gu berates Se-hee for his stinginess through gritted teeth, so Se-hee promises to treat everyone to dinner after his finishes paying back his loan… in 2048. Everyone looks like their blood pressure is rising, before Bok-nam enters with cakes for the team, on the house.

Sang-gu asks if Bok-nam is from money since he can afford his expensive motorcycle, but Bok-nam clarifies that he pays low rent for a small room in order to get the motorcycle: “You only live once.” He prefers not to live his life paying back loans, and thinks people who are “house-poor” (i.e., own a house, but can’t afford much else) are pathetic.

He looks at Se-hee pointedly, who keeps his eyes on his phone. Se-hee shoots back that “Everyone has a different goal,” and Bok-nam needn’t be so critical of others. They have a charged back and forth and take jabs at the other person’s extreme lifestyles, before Bok-nam concedes the point and excuses himself.

After they finish their cakes, Ji-ho walks Se-hee out of the cafe. She asks if Se-hee will be working late, and he replies that he will if nothing happens. He begins toward the door, but then turns back around to ask Ji-ho the same question. She echoes his statement, then asks why he wants to know. He says never mind, then leaves.

He and Bo-mi trail behind the rest of the group as they walk back, and Bo-mi asks Se-hee what he is going to do about Bok-nam. Se-hee is confused, and explains that even though he is Ji-ho’s husband that doesn’t mean he has a right to tell Ji-ho what to do with her social or workplace life.

Bo-mi sighs and replies that Se-hee’s married life is very much like Se-hee’s personality, and explains that girls like when men display their jealousy more openly.

Se-hee finds this statement particularly befuddling and asks if perchance she thinks that he was exhibiting signs of jealousy. He smirks at the notion, and denies it, so she points out that he was looking at the same weather report for an hour straight at the cafe. HAHAHA! (He just sputters that there’s a lot to read in a weather report.)

In the car, Ho-rang and Su-ji discuss Ji-ho and her cute co-worker. They comment on how Bok-nam is diametrically opposed to Se-hee in every way, so Ho-rang asks which man Su-ji would choose. Su-ji smiles mischievously asks why she can only have one if there are two?

Ho-rang calls her a pervert, then asks for an update on her relationship with Sang-gu. Su-ji plays it cool and acts as if nothing happened, and the doll he gave her definitely means nothing. In fact, its fate as garbage is imminent.

Ho-rang casts her a knowing side-eye and asks Su-ji why the doll is wearing a seat belt if it’s going to be thrown away. (AWW, so darn cute!!) Su-ji peeks at her doll sitting in the backseat and smiles girlishly to herself. Su-ji asks about Won-seok, and Ho-rang replies cryptically that she’s paying him everything back slowly, but painfully.

Ho-rang gasps while reading an article about a man who stalked a woman after meeting her through a dating app. She assures Su-ji that it isn’t Sang-gu’s app, but meanwhile Bo-mi discusses the same incident with her colleagues, and worry that crimes like this give dating apps a bad name.

Evidently in this case, the man had locked up the woman for thirteen hours in a studio apartment. In light of this, Se-hee recommends Bo-mi actively monitor all the complaints sent to them, and share any that require follow-up, so that they can be ahead of these kinds of crimes in the future. But when Bo-mi confirms that she will be sending them all to Se-hee, he replies that he isn’t responsible for customer satisfaction—those complaints should be sent to Sang-gu instead.

Speaking of, Sang-gu joins them and enthusiastically tells his team that Manager Park secured a meeting with a well-known investor for their company. He sends everyone home for the day and heads out to the meeting, where he’s happy to see that Su-ji has arrived first.

She congratulates him on the guaranteed investment, and they chit-chit for a bit before Sang-gu apologizes for crossing the line the last time they spoke, where he had tried to educate her on standing up for herself against sexual harassment. She accepts his apology, then warns him not to take anything unprofessional that’s about to happen in this meeting personally.

He jokingly asks if she is referring to the fact that he likes her, then reassures her that he has his eye on the investment prize.

Won-seok gets an alert on his phone informing him of the end of Ho-rang’s ovulation, then hums merrily to himself in anticipation. He tells Ho-rang about Sang-gu getting his investment, and she comments on how Ji-ho will be the wife of an executive before she is. Won-seok assures her that he’ll take care of her after he succeeds, then proceeds to attack her with kisses. He mentions the end of her ovulation and they both spring up, lose their pants, and jump into bed.

She tells him to get two condoms today, and Won-seok becomes excited at the idea of a double round. She clarifies that they’ll use two condoms at once for double protection. Putting on her glasses, she calculates the risk of pregnancy with condoms, and figures the likelihood of pregnancy should decrease if they use two (it doesn’t! Never do this!).

At the investment dinner, the investor compliments Sang-gu’s rapidly growing business and he seems to be favorably leaning toward investing. The investor makes sure to mention how hard Park worked to broker the meeting and recommend Sang-gu’s company.

Some time later, after more drinks have been consumed, the investor begins inching closer and closer to Su-ji, to her visible discomfort. Park badgers Su-ji to fess up on spending the holiday with a boyfriend, but she insists that she was alone. What a bunch of creeps.

The investor moves to put his hand around Su-ji, but suddenly Sang-gu begins shouting expletives to his phone, calling someone crazy, and asking if they want to get beaten up.

His belligerent statements are clearly directed at the lecherous investor, but Sang-gu plays it off as if he’s cursing out a hoobae, who is being unruly in a chatroom. He does it a second time—his statements becoming more violent—but then apologizes profusely (though insincerely). His tactic works to ward off the investor’s unwanted advances, and the meal comes to an end.

Elsewhere, Se-hee refuses a ride from his colleague and insists on taking the bus home. Meanwhile, Ji-ho arrives at the bus stop, and lets a bus pass after seeing that Se-hee wasn’t on it (aww).

Bok-nam finds her there, and offers to take her home. She declines, so he asks if her husband is coming to get her. When she says no, he tells her that he’s faster than a bus. My stranger danger radar is beeping like crazy.

After the investor leaves, Park lashes out at Sang-gu for ruining the dinner. Su-ji gives Sang-gu a ride in her car, with a designated driver behind the wheel.

She reminds Sang-gu of her warning before the meeting to not take things personally, but he says that he did act professionally because he cares about her, and wonders about her, and misses her—always.

He suddenly gets worked up and says how much he hates the way her colleagues treat her, then asks if she could not scold him today since he barely stopped himself from going berserk. She smiles to herself, then says, “You’re being cute.”

They drive by the hotel where they had their rendezvous long ago, and Su-ji asks the driver to let Sang-gu off. She tells Sang-gu to find the rest of his way home because she’s afraid she’ll act on her urge to sleep with him if they stay together any longer.

He’s totally astonished by her actions, and then she tells him that their room that night was 304, not 303 as he keeps stating. He smiles, realizing that she does remember their encounter. Cute.

Bok-nam drives Ji-ho to a spot overlooking the cityscape, calling it a date, and she frowns. He comments about her husband not taking her out on dates, and how they probably stay in drinking beer and watching television.

His words prompt Ji-ho to says that at first she thought he was just messing with her, but now she realizes that she can’t take his behavior as jokes anymore. And although she wishes she could be in the moment and appreciate how beautiful the view and his intentions are, she is beginning to feel uncomfortable.

He asks if it is because of her husband, and she refutes it, citing her own feelings of discomfort. He asks if she would have been able to enjoy the moment had she not been married, and she agrees, adding that she would feel very happy that a young, good-looking man took her to such a beautiful view. He’s intrigued by the “young and good-looking” label, but she argues that he already knows that about himself—it’s written all over his face. He’s shocked that it’s that obvious and realizes that his innate confidence must’ve come off as dislikable at times.

He takes her back to her house, and Bok-nam hands Ji-ho a pink book as a gift, figuring that as a former writer, she must like to read, though he admits picking it based on the cover. And since he isn’t very scholarly, and is instead a simple person, Ji-ho shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with him.

He assures her, “I understood what you said today. I don’t have serious intentions, to be honest. I just thought you were cute and easy, so it’d be nice to look at the view and drink beer together after work, like friends.” She objects to being called easy (as in a pushover), but he teases, “You know that yourself, and that you’re cute because of that.”

Ji-ho gets that Bok-nam is getting his revenge for teasing him about knowing that he’s good-looking, and agrees to grab beer together after work. Ji-ho starts using banmal, acting like the noona with her kid brother, and sends him off with a thwack to the head.

Se-hee returns shortly after Ji-ho and finds her cleaning up Cat’s puke. Se-hee’s been too busy with work to take Cat to the vet yet, so this time, Ji-ho offers to take Cat, and starts to say she’ll talk to Bok-nam about changing her schedule.

It looks like the mention of Bok-nam may have annoyed Se-hee a tinge, because he assures her that vet trips aren’t in their contract. Ji-ho acquiesces, and then Se-hee asks if she took the bus home today, knowing fully that Bok-nam took her home after witnessing them ride in earlier.

She thinks about it for a second, then hardens and asks if she needs to answer his question, and he confirms that she doesn’t. Gahhh, I hate this, but I also love how human this is.

In a flashback, we see that Se-hee ran into Bok-nam outside after Ji-ho went inside. He tells Se-hee that he brought Ji-ho home since it is dangerous at night, and Se-hee replies vaguely that it’s more dangerous if Bok-nam takes Ji-ho, so he should stop doing that. Is this… is this shots fired? What is this?

Se-hee’s words rile Bok-nam up and he asks if he seems like a dangerous person because he is someone with nothing to lose who’s running from reality (using words from their tense conversation at the cafe). Se-hee points out that his words seem to bother Bok-nam greatly, but says that he didn’t mean them in the way Bok-nam interpreted them. He clarifies that he simply meant that riding on motorcycles are dangerous.

But Bok-nam shoots back that he will decide whether he takes Ji-ho home, not Se-hee. Se-hee points out that it’s actually up to Ji-ho, since they have no right to decide how she commutes. He states that he was only giving his opinion since he knows that Ji-ho is bad at refusing others, and prefers that Bok-nam instead refrain from offering rides.

Worryingly, Bok-nam suddenly asks if Se-hee is so rational because he went to college, whereas he is uneducated and irrational… and has to get what he wants no matter what. Errr, omg. This music is freaking me out!

That night in his room, Se-hee receives the list of user complaints from Bo-mi, since Sang-gu is unreachable. He scrolls through the list and finds Bok-nam’s profile there—and the reason listed is stalking. Ack!

In her room, Ji-ho reads Bok-nam’s book and narrates a passage from it:

“We generally misunderstand others. We can’t say, ‘I understand how you feel.’ Instead, we can only say, ‘I don’t understand what you’re saying.’ If we don’t put in an effort, we can’t understand each other.”

She comes out of her room with her book in hand, and sees Se-hee sitting on the couch. She watches him for a long beat, as he notices a message written on the back of her book that says: “You only love one. ♥Bok-nam♥”

COMMENTS

Frackkk, Bok-nam is a psycho. Why does Ji-ho keep meeting these losers? I honestly would like Ji-ho to have a solid second option since Se-hee isn’t emotionally available enough right now. The guy doesn’t have to be too good to be true, but it just seems a bit messed up that she’s constantly having to fend off stalkers and sexual assailants. Now I’m really worried about the cafe owner’s weird reaction to hiring Ji-ho, and I’m afraid that it might have to do with Bok-nam’s stalking. Ugh.

Based on Ji-ho’s strong narration at the end of the last episode, I thought Ji-ho was going to be petty and immature toward Se-hee, but she was perfectly mature about her misunderstanding and polite toward Se-hee in every way, which was a relief. Her strong word choice about wanting to hurt him seems to merely be a representation of the heat of a moment, and motivated by her short-term embarrassment. In actuality, in this episode she made every effort to honor his wishes and respect his boundaries.

I’m inclined to think that we’ll come back to her retaliatory reaction after those feelings culminate with something more weighted. Otherwise, it’ll be disappointing to think that the writer wrote such a dramatic cliffhanger just for the sake of it.

I do like the way Se-hee is becoming aware of Ji-ho, and slooowly becoming aware of the fact that he’s becoming aware of Ji-ho, because for him I think it’s a matter of bringing these feelings to his attention, rather than convincing him that they’re true. He doesn’t seem to be the type to entirely deny what he feels if it makes sense, but nor is he the type to come to any sort of romantic conclusion on his own. I think rather than denying that he felt jealous (or something; probably closer to protectiveness) to Bo-mi, his reaction was mostly embarrassment. It was heart-warming that Se-hee noticed that Ji-ho is the type of person that struggles to refuse others and worried about her safety when riding motorcycles. To him, that type of concern is familiar, as opposed to his concern about a romantic rival, so it makes sense that he would group them together. Se-hee and Ji-ho work best when they are looking out for each other, and being considerate of one another, so I like how that concept is being woven in as they become closer.

On another note, Sang-gu continues to delight both me and Su-ji with his sincerity and sweetness. There’s something so refreshing about a man that isn’t shy about expressing what he feels and be vulnerable, but also humble enough to quickly recognize when he’s out of line, and doesn’t have a right to tell someone how they should live their life. I really like how in sync Su-ji and Sang-gu are, and the honest way they resolved their argument. I was expecting there to be a kind of smolder between them, but instead there’s an abundance of warmth and genuine affection, which I couldn’t be happier about (and a little smolder).

Comparatively, Ho-rang and Won-seok can’t ever seem to get on the same wavelength. They are constantly asking more from their partner than they can give. Ho-rang wants a commitment that Won-seok is too immature to even entertain, meanwhile, Won-seok wants total understanding from Ho-rang as he continues to be a work in progress. I don’t agree with Ho-rang’s tactics and manipulations of Won-seok, since they are probably fundamentally incompatible as they are now, but mind games are often a staple of many relationships, so I think it’s realistic to see them go through it.

I did sort of miss that unexpected emotional punch I’ve grown accustomed to each week, but there’s still Episode 8!

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Well, this certainly wasn't the episode I'd been waiting for. I saw more manipulativeness, game-playing, and regressive gender politics than I ever expected to see on this show. Fortunately, episode 8 was the episode I'd been waiting for, even though it took people until the very end to begin redeeming themselves. Now I can't wait for episode 9.

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Add Stereotypes too. I feel many of the points,especially gender equality quorum is forcefully added each episode.
Romance part if always freakishly fast. A kdrama can't be a kdrama without romance. Romance is the lifeline of every kdrama.

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Oh, but I love romance! What I hate is when people act petty or manipulative in the name of romance.

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In my opinion, while relationship, marriage requires a lot of understanding and toleration between two people, accepting our parner for who they are, because nobody is perfect, there are things that we may need to try to change in our partner for our relationship to last long. Instead of keeping it to ourselves and try to endure it until we cant stand it anymore.

The first step is always trying to talk nicely about it. But after some time, it can lead to argument. So instead of fighting, talking harsh, being rude to each other or resort to divorce, in my opinion these kind of manipulation and tactics are a better method.

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Agree...something out of the ordinary became ordinary and cheesy with a stalker guy on top!

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I think this show is low key about regressive gender politics. We have the career girl dealing with sexual harassment at every turn and concerns about her reputation. We have the supportive girlfriend feeling like she's missing her shot at marriage.
We've had an attempted rape (work/power politics), and now a stalker.

I'm actually impressed that the show is dealing with some problematic issues that we usually just see as tropes in other dramas. Here's to hoping the CEO (chaebol) character doesn't 'rescue' the career girl (she needs to rescue herself!).

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I'm actually impressed that the show is dealing with some problematic issues that we usually just see as tropes in other dramas.

Agree. Writer-nim raises a lot of sensitive issues that are so far being dealt with quite okay. Of course, the show is not without its flaws, but I'm more impressed with how the issues are being woven intricately into this contemplative drama.

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Thank you sang-gu for telling that dirtbag investor your mind even though you had to lose the investment. I'm proud of you.

horang's attempt to tame wonseok into a husband material is fun to watch.hope she succeeds .

I had high hopes for boknam's character but he turned out to be a stalker.why writer?

what I loved the most about this episode is se-hee's jealousy even though he tries to deny it.

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It's the first time I found flaw in this drama. I just hope Bok Nam was there to make Sehee jealous and recognize his feeling toward jiho. Stalker is a bit too much and out of character of this supposed to be light hearted, cute and fun drama.

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I mean, the second episode had Ji-ho nearly raped, so I don't quite get how stalker a couple of weeks later is worse?

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My thoughts exactly. This show has been great and blending the fun and the dramatic since the beginning. Yes, it's low-key, but it's touched on some very serious stuff. I don't see how it's out of character for the show.

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Agree with you both!

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Very well said @Pensola & @mindy

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But since she was almost raped by a colleague she had known for 3 years... shouldn't she have developed some kind of danger radar for a strange guy that is being handsy and persistent in his attention? She's told him that he makes her feel uncomfortable, but she needs to stop riding his bike. I'll try to think she's just way too nice and can't say no (as Se Hee said) because otherwise her behavior falls into dumb category for me.

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I don´t know, is it something you can easily develope? Just asking.

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Having watched the next episode, I feel like it is a plot hole where the writer either wants her to get in situations where Se-hee can swoon in eventually, or the producers do not want her to be that "rude" or forthcoming about her emotions. They are okey with her friends being like that, because they are not the main character so they do not have to be "good girls" (I mean, notice how only Ji-ho squirms away from talking about sex with them). So even when she should probably be more guarded, that would be unladylike or something.

At the very least, I wish she could show more of her discomfort. Like, her old habits of not being able to refuse are still there, but she shows more discomfort than she does right now.

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Trust me, I know people who have no creep radar or lie detector skills. I'm not sure how they've survived this long in the world without being killed or scammed, but they do exist.

I think Ji-ho tends to give people the benefit of the doubt like how she thought she misread her colleague's advances instead of assuming he was playing with her. She's probably assuming that Bok-nam understands where she's coming from and that he'll back off although it's obvious to the rest of us that he won't. (Saying this without having seen epi 8 and how it plays out)

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I am one of those people. I am VERY conflict adverse. Saying no takes an enormous amount of energy and concentration. I much prefer people who can understand my nonverbal cues without me having to spell it out explicitly. I recognize this is unfair to others and something I should work on.
One of my biggest turn-offs is when someone doesn't listen to me when I say no. If I worked up the nerve and energy to tell you no, I mean no. Trying to talk my no around into a yes may well work; I am weak and continuing to say no over and over again is hard. But I will hate and resent you for it.

To me, Ji-ho's body language has been saying loudly and clearly that Bok-nam needs to back the hell off. He doesn't see it. OK. Fine. He's young, male, and full of himself. So she draws some boundaries and tells him she's married. He keeps pushing. So she works up the nerve to tell him point blank that he makes her uncomfortable. He tells her she shouldn't feel uncomfortable (grrrrr!!!!) and keeps pushing. So she resorts to treating him like a kid. He still refuses to back off.

So, yes, Ji-ho should stop riding his bike. But I can totally understand where she is coming from. He ambushes her after work when she is tired and refuses to hear her when she says no. I can see her just giving in because it is too tiring to keep trying to get him to leave.

Even if it turns out this whole Murderous Stalker thing is a fake out and Bok-nam is just a run of the mill creep who can't take no for an answer, I still HATE him and his ilk. And am OK with Se-hee rescuing Ji-ho from him.

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I get where you're coming from but the way this whole thing was executed made it seem really unrealistic and cartoonish. Bok nam could've just forced himself on her or stalked her and leave it at that. But then he was made to seem like a psycho with the 'creepy' music and "fix women's hearts" stuff, and it got pulled too far from reality. And that scene where he pulled out that wrench seemed very cartoonish and was really only done so that the hero could save her. Whereas the scene with yong-seok seemed much more realistic

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Yes, I love everything else about the show, but this particular storyline had a cartoonish element and I'm glad it's a two episode story line and not a 8 episode one. Everything you said articulated perfectly how I felt about it.

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of course! It was made like that, so that the heroic rescue look better and create a huge impact in us, viewers.
I also have to agree that it was very pulled out and kind of crazy, which also doesn´t look real. And we complain, because we like this show so much, exactly because it feels real... But then again, the show itself needs its cliffhangers. We will have to forgive the show for it and imagine that it was something less "cartoonish", but that it required Se hee´s intervention, and even if it would have been to defend her verbally, I think she would have been awed the same and falling in love inmediately anyways.... soooo at the end, the result is the same.... he he he.... :)

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a sudden stalker with no prior history of meeting jiho [as she remembered] that maybe a rapist and locked woman is too far from a desperate asshat that worked together with you.

This stalker thing is happening too fast and if they had waited until the marriage life dynamic has settled between Jiho and sehee, then it will not feel sudden.
Had they separate the complaint stalker and Jiho finding a job and then draw the stalker conclusion at the end, it may be better

or just have a normal guy, stalker is unnecessary cause instead of having lifestyle argument, we are separating them as criminal vs non-criminal which is clear for the answer and make the stalker a mere plot device.

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I didn't take it as a flaw at all. I was glad they didn't go the jealousy route, which every other drama takes. I liked that he turned out to be a stalker.

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True! The last thing I want is for Se-hee to realize his own feelings only because he's jealous.

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Same! I would much rather he realize it after being deeply concerned about Ji-ho's safety. That way, while Bok-nam may have still been the catalyst, it came out of a place of caring, not jealousy.

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"That way, while Bok-nam may have still been the catalyst, it came out of a place of caring, not jealousy."

Ah, that would be good, mindy!

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Same! Jealousy is never a stable foundation for romance. I really liked how he was a catalyst for him realizing that she actually mattered a lot to him and that he wanted to keep her safe (rather than keep her all to himself... i hope we get to that a little later ;)

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Okay I just realized I basically wrote the same thing as @mindy Haha

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I second this. Re-watching some parts now, and it appears that Bok Nam was actually at the end of Episode 4 (bus scene) and Episode 5 (wedding scene). His existence was planned from the beginning. And although it might be fun to see the same ol jealousy hijinks, I appreciate the direction now much more cos here, we were presented with a much deeper emotion/connection. This Bok Nam jerk actually triggered Sae Hee's protectiveness and concern that he was used to show towards Kitty only.

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Absolutely agree:

Protective > Possesive

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Where is he in the wedding scene? Saw another reference to it but can't find it. Can you give rough timecode please?

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@tsutsuloo It's in the wedding scene where BM is taking pictures of the family? i think it was. A guy walks across the screen, but it's just his back. But the frame and hair color matches with BN. The director obviously interjected the scene of this random guy walking through the shot, which is why I think it got noticed by others. Man these people are such sharp viewers, noticing all these random things. Ha, if I have time, I should do another viewing of "spot boknam"

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Yes, that is him on the bus. Thanks for pointing this out. Will look at the other scene too. Now curious if in others, like with her hair up or when he could of seen See Hee's signature. This is kind of fun now....hes like an Easter egg.

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Since ep 1 I did not expect this drama to be cute and ligh-hearted

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I agree - when I realized what was going on I started asking myself if the drama was going into the makjang territory that Ji Ho hates so much!

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At the same time, although this whole plot was not my favorite, I want to trust the writer on how she is moving forward with everything. She obviously had this all planned and didn't randomly throw him into the plot because of all those boknam scenes interjected in the earlier scenes. She's been so good with the dialogue previously, I want to see where she takes this. Already have seen ep 8, and I was pleasantly surprised and happy with the results of the BN situation.

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This is my concern. And I agree with commenter that that the execution made boknam seem unrealistic and cartoonish.

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I was disappointed in the fact that BN turned out to be a stalker, too. I was hoping for some plain ol' jealousy hijinks, not a scenario where the stakes are raised because of a creepy stalker. This writer must have something against cute guys, lol!

Sooo glad that Sang-gu stood up for Su-ji! He's really endearing.

I don't know if it's just me, but I'm not that into Ho-rang. She's my least favourite out of the 3 girls. I always feel bored of her scenes with Won-seok. :(

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I'm livestreaming this and every time Ho-rang ang Won-seok shows up, I just do some light household chores. Hahaha!

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I love Ho Rang... but not with Won Seok. The rest of the time, she's this awesome, funny, sharp, supportive person who treats her coworkers extremely well and is always the first one to look out for and understand her friends.

I think she's struggling because her 'dream', as it is, is completely dependent on Won Seok and his behaviour (technically, she could go out and have children on her own, but she doesn't interpret it that way).

The dependency results in Ho Rang being highly insecure over her relationship, and afraid to be as sharp and straightforward as she is in the rest of her life. Hence the annoying, exhausting up and down relationship that seems to bother Suji in particular.

I like Ho Rang and Won Seok a lot as characters, but they need to just. break. up. already.

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I have the sad feeling that Kim Min Suk was miscast here. Everyone else is perfect in their roles.

Ho Rang is my least favourite too. I usually skip her parts with Won Seuk too lol, except sometimes their conversations mirror something said between Ji Ho and Se Hee so I don't want to miss it haha.

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I feel the same way about Bok Nam. I love the part when the drama showed the contrast between Se Hee's and Bok Nam's perspective about life. The writer could have just continued with Bok Nam being sort of a younger brother to Ji Ho. Making him a stalker seemed out-of-place in this drama.

I love that Ji Ho was consistent with her character. The petty behavior we've seen in the last episode was just because of the hurt she felt after Se Hee's "rejection." She remained considerate of Se Hee's feelings. And I'm so proud of her for drawing the line with Bok Nam immediately.

As for Sang Gu... I melted when he had that conversation with Su Ji in the car. So sweet...

Overall, I'm still in love with this drama. I've seen episode 8 and I trust the writer that the Bok Nam issue will be resolved.

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From the start of his introduction, Bok-nam was already giving creepy vibes. He was cute but his behavior with Ji-ho always felt off and never an "I have a crush on noona" type.

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They could've easily went into the usual territory, but BN shows some the "romantic" gestures in dramaland that people take as swoon-worthy, but in a real setting can be really very creepy. Also, I do think BN might not be the stalker on the news, but he's one online stalker that is creepy.

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I think this truly speaks to the character of Sang-gu. He's just and won't stand for wrong doing, especially in the way SJ is being treated, even at the cost of his investment. The investment was something he really wanted/needed/excited about, but he was willing to throw it all away for SJ. In fact I would say he would have stuck up for a different woman, other than SJ, he's just an upstanding guy like that.

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Afterword, in the car, when he said that he didn't blow the deal over his private feelings, it was over his public feelings, I thought that was where he was going with it. That he would have done the same thing for any woman in that situation, regardless of how he felt personally about her.

What he did say was sweet and all, but I like my version better. And like you, I think it would be true.

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I also love Sang Gu's way of standing for Su Ji.. he was too excited earlier about closing that deal but yeah it wasn't worth having those pigs as business partners..

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My thoughts exactly - totally agree with ya!

I'm disappointed that BM wasn't fashioned into a worthy second lead, but after reading the comments, I realized that he would trigger SH's protectiveness as BM could come to harm JH. And this would lead to the "damsel in distress" trope experienced by JH, which I felt bummed out about.

But mostly, I love how JH clarified she was married AND she was uncomfortable with BM's acts. If she omitted the truth, I would be so disappointed in her. But man, KUDOS to her character.

Another thought on Suji and Sang Gu, if it wasn't Suji and another woman who was harassed by the lecherous male execs, would Sang Gu behaved professionally and let it pass so that he would get his investment? If he didn't like her at that point, would he have given up this ichigo-ichi?

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Initially I thought that Bok Nam’s présence was to introduce the element of jealousy to jumpstart the stalled romantic instincts of Se-Hee. However, I now truly believe that Bok Nam’s criminal intentions will be used to surface Se-Hee’s protective nature. Like a knight in shining armor, Se-Hee will rush in and save his damsel in distress. After all, what more romantic gesture can there be?

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I also hope that BN being a stalker is a fake-out, just like how Ji-ho's "Right now, I want to hurt you" cliffhanger was also just a spur of the moment reaction. But he has already been tagged for stalking, so there's that. At this point, I trust writer-nim to know what she's doing and how she's going to resolve BN's arc.

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I was sort of wondering about that too. Because if he were a real stalker who also injured another woman previously (didn't Bo-mi say over the phone, that she found out from her police uncle that the other stalker hit the victim with a spanner?), they shouldn't be just shaking him off and going home to watch the football match right??!!!

Still, most of the evidence point towards Bok-nam having stalked Ji-ho. Because he was much too on-the-nose when he talked about Ji-ho with her hair tied up, in short sleeves, and about the couple just sitting at home drinking beer and watching football as a "date". At the beginning, I thought he might have looked her up on social media after he met her in the alley. But now it's crossing the line. And his stalking history on other apps is worrying too.

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I love this drama every time way more. I can help it. Can you, beanies???
I am falling for See he... how about you?
I appreciate it so much that she said she was married. She is respectful, even when they are not a real couple... I just love them!

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Also on Ji ho:
I really really like her. Her realism, her sense of responsibility, her loyalty. I really admire she said she felt uncomfortable, because she has a husband. It is not a real husband in the sense she is in love with him (not yet), but because of respect and because of the role she is giving to him.
Now, I can't say too much more because I already watch the following episode and my thoughts mingle.
You guys keep the thread...
There is a lot, a looooot to say about this episode anyways....

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Same, i already watched ep 8

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I am falling for Se Hee, I do not know about See He

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So true. I would love to like your comment like million times!!!

Props to Jiho for saying she has a husband instead of a boyfriend now thats my girl !! I knew she would never lie about her lovelife even if it's fake...I am really proud of her and i think Jiho really needs to be careful around strange people. What i mean is to "never fall for looks"...
My love for this drama is getting bigger and bigger because it never fails to give us a really meaningful lessons with each new episode. Bok Nam may look cute with his dimples but the minute he said he doesnt care that Jiho is married is sufficient to raise red flags!!

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I like that shes aware that Bok -nam is vain early on. Showing she's more observant of people that she lets on

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I do appreciate that she called him out on how vain he is. It totally seemed to knock him off his guard. He seems to be the type that assumes he has a right to whatever relationship he wants with others because in his mind he is the total package. He thinks he is attractive, charming, and a 'nice guy'

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His overconfidence in this episode really put me off.

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I love that the conversation that went on in this scene wasn't just filler, but was actually an opportunity for Ji-ho to be clear about setting boundaries and calling out BN's uncomfortable behavior.

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I just love the way she talks to people. She was frank with Bok-nam about that, rather than trying to be polite. But she also said it in a way that the other person wouldn't feel insulted/challenged.

(In ep 8 hindsight, I realised that maybe he's not worth all that, but still. I just admire her good-natured way of speaking.)

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"but the minute he said he doesnt care that Jiho is married is sufficient to raise red flags!!"

True!

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You know, when he said it didn't matter, I understood he would not be a contender because of Jiho's high morals. But now turning to be dangerous, well... the beanies have commented already a lot about it. It could be rather good for them (see he and ji ho), but it feels a little bit forced on the story. Yet, again, I understand the writer. We need some kind of pressure. If we would only focus on our main lead's routines, without interventions of friends and family (mom pointing out Jiho's qualities, or the sister in law saying that See he is handsome), or even a stalker with dangerous behavior, how are they even going to fall for each other????

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“If we would only focus on our main lead's routines...how are they even going to fall for each other????“

But that’s the best kind of falling in love: when you fall in love with a person just because he is who he is, and because you are who you are. For that, all you need is routine, day-to-day interaction. In fact, that’s what I thought we were getting with this drama, since it started out so relaxed and contemplative. So I’m not exactly thrilled that all these plot contrivances are popping up.

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I loved the line they both said at different times: "because it's you".

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I'm completely with you @lindl. Taking Cat to the vet together was my idea of their bonding overly daily activities, but I guess I'm boring lol.

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I completely agree! This took such a dramatic turn that felt really unnecessary. I was already bummed when they brought in a second lead and used that "I don't have a bf" cliffhanger. Then making him a potential psycho stalker? It's true that the drama started out with an attempted rape, so it was never going to be all light and fluffy, but this feels like overkill. I miss the relaxed and contemplative vibe!

Plus, as @murasakimi said, poor Ji Ho has already been assaulted but a long-time crush and colleague. Now her next coworker/romantic interest is a stalker. This must not be her first life because the girl clearly has terrible karma.

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I agree. So often people are thrown together and they are attracted to each other because of some external conflict. I was hoping to see a relationship come together because they live their lives separately together, and over time finding out that they really can't live without each other.

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I know! I know!
And I love those features of daily routine, and I also believe there is no other way to fall in love. But what i meant is that they are somehow very simple people, and their simply routine may look boring to many viewers. That is why...
But if it were for me, i would simply watch the small interactions of getting to know each other at home, with Kitty and Soccer.

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Oh I love this perspective of having another contender or a second option for Ji-ho. While Ji-ho wants a more closer companionship with Se-hee, he just wants something I honestly don't know what. So plenty of fish in the sea, honey.

But at the same time, I'm just loving how their feelings for each other continue to develop and grow. Whether there is another contender or just them becoming more aware of each other, just seeing them happy to be together is enough.

Cause sometimes when you are truly in love, you only see that person and that's enough.

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Yeay the recap is here!

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Agreed I kept refreshing like mad yesterday to see the latest recap.

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Same here! And when it did come out, the comments were already over 100! 😂 I guess everyone's been staying faithfully by their computers or phones waiting for the recap! Lol

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Ho Rang is starting to annoy me, can she just tell that dense guy the truth and break up, if I was Won Seok I would advise her to take oral contraceptives and let him use one condom and not to be stupid. She is lucky Won Seok loves her, other guy would just go find someone else to sleep with and at this point I want that to happen.
I know she feels like she invested too much time into him and she loves him, but maybe it is the time to find someone who is ready to get married?

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I completely agree. Actually, I've been annoyed with her for a while. Now that I think about it, everyone else was...not bad, but she just ruined this episode for me.

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> other guy would just go find someone else to sleep with.

Then that guy is not worth her time, not even a second. That guy belongs in the trash surrounded by mountain-high piles of steaming fresh watery shit. This couple has communication problems and can be dense and frustrating, but I can see that they'll last long simply because their love and respect for each other is so strong.

Running off to other people just cos your lover won't give you sex is pathetic.

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I wouldn't root for Won-seok to cheat on Ho-rang. But if he were to break up with her because they weren't having sex anymore, that's his right.

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True. But better for her then, if that's all it takes for him to give up on their relationship. How could such a person endure worse and stay on for long? How is she supposed to rely on such a person.

Anyway, her body, her right, too.

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Actually, I agree with her stated reason for not having sex with him: not being headed for marriage is an excellent reason for not wanting to get pregnant.

My problem is that her stated reason is not the real reason she was withholding sex. She was using sex (or the threat of withholding it) to get something else that she wanted. That just sets women back by a hundred years.

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@lindl:
If we're talking about her whining about a bag, I'd agree.

But here, we're talking about marriage. I'm pretty sure whatever she does, WonSeok is going to be thinking with his head up there and not the head down there. And if the guy's not gonna marry you or isn't committed to, why bother with sex (that you don't want)!

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Completely with @peeps here. Sure he can call off a seven year long relationship because she denied him sex a couple of times - he does have that right. But then he's a pretty terrible guy who just used her for sex for seven years.

As @peeps says, her body, her right too.
If their relationship is so brittle, there is no way they will be able to withstand even greater conflict later - the kind that is so ably demonstrated in episode 1 of Go Back Couple. The fact that she can say no to sex, safe and secure in her relationship, means it's a good one - how a long-term relationship needs to be for it to survive.

Just wanted to one up @peeps comment. It isn't really, but it seemed almost disempowering to say that a woman should sleep with a guy to keep the relationship going. (which is twisting @lindl's words, I know - but it's one way among many to read the implications of what was said)

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“The fact that she can say no to sex, safe and secure in her relationship, means it's a good one - how a long-term relationship needs to be for it to survive.“

And yet Won-seok gets hardly any credit for being one-half of this good relationship.

I’ve seen the preview for episode 9, so I know this is moot, but, just as Won-seok isn’t owed sex, Ho-rang isn’t owed marriage. Won-seok is free to leave – and in fact, he hasn’t, so all this outrage is over a hypothetical – but Ho-rang is also free to walk away if this relationship is not giving her what she wants. Instead she’s dug her heels in and is trying to browbeat him into changing into someone more to her liking.

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@lindl:
WonSeok is a good boyfriend, even if a bit dense. No one's arguing that he's not, that's why no one really talks about him or credits him as such because it's taken as an "of course". The above outrage is for a scumbag who would run to others for sex just because his girlfriend won't give him any, not specifically about WonSeok.

I don't think HoRang is browbeating him into anything. If anything, he can just not want sex. It's not like she's depriving him of any basic necessity, or anything that supports a basic necessity. Or even his dignity and pride. The thing is, he does have a choice, like you mentioned, so she's not actually cornering him or forcing him. And there is no successful relationship where both parties don't ever change for each other.

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"That guy belongs in the trash surrounded by mountain-high piles of steaming fresh watery shit."

I'm sorry, I think I enjoyed this more than I should have.😂😂😂😂😂

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My pleasure.

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OK, still fact stays, she told him clear she wanted to get married, he said he is not ready and she is starting using sex and blackmail to still get him married. In general I found that couple cute, but now they are just plain annoying.

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I said Won Seok would not do that cuz he loves her, in general I just do not like her ways, maybe separation would have helped them more, especially for him to realize how much he needs her in his life and for her to understand that her life does not consist of Won Seok only, she is just scared to loose him so she uses all that things . She shouold have just told him the truth instead of being silent when he said he was not ready to get married. Won Seok also annoys me cuz if girl was sulking with you for such a long time and shouted in the middle of the street that she wants to get married one would think that he needs to make a decision, but he keeps hurting her and everyone is like " He is such a nice guy, he gave it a thought and explained to her that he does not want to marry yet" He leaves that "yet" and keeps giving her hope, he is being selfish here.

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Been reading the comments for a while now and I can't help but feel that Horang is not properly appreciated in this drama

Yes unfortunately the drama shows her weakest side. When she has already waited for 7 years for the guys to grow up and man up in the relationship.

But ppl need to realized that for a guy to have someone like Horang as a partner is pretty amazing.
1. Horang is understanding and very supportive
2. She doesn't asked for material stuff (even the sofa was not what she actually wanted. She simply want the marriage)
3. 7 years is a Long time to wait for a guys to be successful and Horang never complain about Wonseok not being successful enough
4. Horang is very clear about what she likes and dislikes and she is strong woman chase for what she wants.

Sure, the way she go about and chase for it may not be what you think it's right. But she deal with what she have and charges forward.

The moment Horang realized that communication was a problem (after being highlighted by Suji) she address it immediately. It shows that despite her blind side, she corrects herself really fast after having the right input.

And you know what, the person that she loves is Wonseok. Why is it wrong for her to try her best to make this relationship to be what she wants?
Wonseok said he wasn't sure. Jen never said he don't want to get married. If Wonseok said he don't want and will not want to get married then yes Horang needs to move on.

But for now, Horang still want to fight for this relation ship. And I think she is amazing for that. She showers ppl with love and doesn't need much things to be happy. She is a wonderful n great character despite her flaws.

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I appreciate your comments for Ho Rang. I have high hope for their relationship mostly because Ho Rang puts all she has into this.

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She is extremely supportive, and she's very good at encouraging Wonseok. I think he's the type of person to thrive off of encouragement so I think he really needs that. However, it seems fair that most people are having issues with her. She's coherence and manipulative and that can be pretty scary. Everyone has their issues but maybe she needs to be with someone that will call her out on her crap. (He just accepts it, which is unhealthy)

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<4. Horang is very clear about what she likes and dislikes and she is strong woman chase for what she wants.

She needs to use words. She's a total fail at communicating, even when Won seok directly asks her "What do you want?" He knows he's slow in understanding things, so he wants her to just say what she wants. She, meanwhile, starts spouting non-sensical theories and expects him to decode what she isn't willing to say directly.

Plus, wanting to change a person is a recipe for disaster. You cannot change other people, and you're going to set yourself for a lot of pain if that's your plan for a perfect relationship.

In real life, this relationship is totally doomed. The two of them want completely different things in life, which is fine. Her wanting to get married now is fine, him not wanting to get married now is also fine – but really, this is when adults realize that what they want is completely different, that just "love" isn't enough in a relationship and that it's probably best for them to let each other go – not, as Ho-rang does, play passive aggressive games like an immature teenager would.

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Yup, I agree with everything you've said here! At some point I hope Won Seok will get the confidence to be himself, not just the "perfect boyfriend" that she has molded him into.

I've learned myself recently that life is a lot simpler if I'm really direct with my husband - saying "I want to use your car tonight" instead of "What are you doing tonight?" or "I want to get this one" instead of "What do you think of this one?" That way we have fewer misunderstandings when he doesn't understand what I want. It's taken me years to realize how indirect I've always been about what I want.

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You know, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to ask change from your partner, it's just a matter of what kind of change. Compromise is important in a long-term relationship. I think it's completely valid to want to change certain things, especially behaviors or actions. As long as you're not altering the core part of what makes them them, then change needn't necessarily be a bad thing. I've been in a three year relationship with my boyfriend (going strong), but we have both had to change a lot to get to where we are now. I am a creative, English Literature major, and he is a super intelligent Physics Phd grad student. We originally had a very hard time being on the same page because I tend to be more emotional and abstract and he is more logical. Tbh...I knew he was a kind, and decent person (that's why I wanted to stick things out), but he was like a robot at first! So I can totally identify with Ho-rang. It took a long time for me to essentially teach him to tap into his emotions, to try to understand mine, and how to read in between the lines rather than just think that everything is always laid out face-value (because even if we humans like to think we are always straight shooting, frank people...we usually aren't, subtlety is a huge part of how we communicate). He has credited me on numerous occasions of basically "browbeating" him into a human. But I think it's important that while I show him what I needed to change to make our relationship work and pushed him to do it, he committed to working on himself of his own accord. And while he is 1000x a WAY better boyfriend who I feel really gets me now (due to his work and my mine, because we work as a team), the core parts of him haven't changed. He still loves physics, being a homebody, gaming, and is still just as terrible at cooking as he was before lol...Anyways, just trying to make the case that wanting your partner to change isn't a bad thing, it's often necessary, as long as the change you're asking will make your relationship healthier w/o sacrificing their values and happiness.

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<I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to ask change from your partner

She isn't asking though and she isn't looking for compromise. She has a plan, it's her plan, he doesn't even get told about it (or have any say in it) and that it's.

Obviously couples should compromise and couples will change with each other in a relationship, but if you go into a relationship with the thought that "he's x and I will make him z for him to the be perfect boyfriend/husband", you're doomed. Which is Ho-rang's way of thinking. Now, Won-soek might become z one day, but ultimately HE has to make that choice, because you can't change other people, they have to change themselves. The sooner Ho-rang realises that, the better for her, because if she forces Won-seok into a marriage through manipulation, threats & all, that marriage isn't going to be the picture perfect sparkly thing she has in mind. That marriage isn't going to solve the problems they are currently having, no matter how much she believes that. Won-seok is a human being, not a doll or robot to program...

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I would not say she is completely selfless and not materialistic, she loves him and let's him to chase his dream hoping he will get successful some day, also seems him being an engineering student and smart was probably one of the factors she did consider when dating him. She still is hoping that all that effort will pay off when he becomes rich, but she is kinda dumb not to even consider that it may never happen and they might spend whole life just living on that rooftop house

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If he did that (sleep with someone else, cause his gf isn't), that would make him a scumbag. Of course I don't like HR's manipulative ways, and one shouldn't use sex to coerce or persuade someone. But that deciding to go sleep with someone else, just cause your gf won't? low.

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I knew it. Those fake-dimpled-smiles!!! And people from another forum also noticed that at the wedding, Bok-Nam was suspected present. A guy wearing white suit walked behind Bo-Mi when she was taking group photo after the wedding at episode 6.

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Wow, those people from the forum are really sharp. I had to re-watch those scenes a few times before I caught it. That would be creepy.

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Wow. That makes sense on why he thinks Ji Ho looks good with her hair tied up (or up). He either saw it at the wedding, or while her doing recycling because those were the only times she had different hair. (I checked, but may need to recheck if I could catch glimpses of Bok Nam.

Ok now it feels like a "Where's Boknam" game to go through previous episodes and detect him LOL.

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Haha, if I didn't have to work today I would totally play that game hehe

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That's super duper creepy if he saw her at the Wedding and was referencing that moment when he was talking to her.

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I think he was also on the same bus as Ji-ho and Se-hee one time... during their wedding if I'm not mistaken!

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I just re watched that scene and on the way to the wedding on the bus it only showed those two, no one else. This is the int'l version. Maybe it's another scene on another bus?

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It's at the end of episode 4. Doesn't show in episode 5.

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He’s there on the bus at the end of ep 4 I think. But the camera didn’t focus on him during the same bus scene in ep 5.

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Thanks for the details!

Wow wow wow. Okay, the one thing I'm slightly confused is this - since Bok Nam has clearly been stalking her way before they met in the alley, how did he manage to orchestrate things such that she ended up looking for a job at YOLO? I suppose pure coincidence/luck is possible, but I'd love it if Writer-nim would explain that.

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I love your nickname, neocortex is such a legendary story from uri Sehee :)

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Even after ep 8 i still think there's an explanation for Bok Nam, maybe its just a misunderstanding. But now that I think of it, and i hope it's not a spoiler, on ep 8 bok nam commented how JH looks good in white, and also he loves her shoulder in sleeveless top. It's her wedding dress!

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oops, echoed what you said, KaniaDJ! :) Beanues are fast and my phone keyboard is extra stupidly wonky, by the time i finish typing , additional 30 have been posted! :)

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I was worried about it being a misunderstanding too, but Se hee's logical mind is good at putting two and two together and coming up with the right answer. Plus, fans have noticed his appearances elsewhere, so...more comments after ep 8 recap!

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Even if it is a misdirect, and he is not The Evil Kidnapping Stalker from the papers, he is still a creep who can't take no for an answer.

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That would explain the you-look-good-in-white-with-your-hair-tied-to-the-side comment! :o

And if marriage contracts are signed during weddings in South Korea, maybe that was were Bok Nam saw Se Hee's signature, too.

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They said they weren't officially registering their marriage, so I don't think any marriage contracts were signed. Unless you mean the 2 year marriage contract between the two of them?

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They could have signed the papers but not have turned them in. I vaguely remember them saying that somewhere, but I could easily be mistaken and mixing it up with something else.

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I was thinking the only time Se Hee would sign anything other than the marriage contract was probably when he paid for dinner during family meeting

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Holy smokes it does look like him but dang, I would make a lousy witness for the prosecution. I never even noticed him. Some people are super sharp. Heck most of the time I barely remember the people I actually interact with let alone someone who just walks by in passing.

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Thanks for the recap, @murasakimi!

Awww, I was wondering how Se-hee would realise that he's beginning to fall for her, since he's not likely to have the typical flustered reactions or major angst. I guess it was perfect to have Bo-mi nudge Se-hee along. I can totally relate to his furious weather-checking (though it would've been a different app for me) so it's totally cute. While he probably sincerely meant his explanation about there being no budget for treating his colleagues this month, I think part of him was also feeling petty; then Se-hee being Se-hee, held onto the first logical explanation he could find.

I liked Bok-nam for the first half of this episode (I'd initially taken his words to imply, "why can't I like you even if you're married") but that exchange with Se-hee was kinda sinister. I thought the cafe owner was just reluctant to hire her, but now that murasakimi re-framed that scene, and with the complaint on the app, it's worrying.

I felt really bummed for Ji-ho too. She already had a bad experience with that director guy who kept flirting with her (then tried to push himself onto her), so it'll be really shit if she has to go through a second round of assholes. I would have preferred to just bask in the attention for a little while.

However, I love that Ji-ho decided to be upfront and shut down Bok-nam from making advances towards her. I found it refreshing, the way she was frank and firm, but comfortable with herself. I think I would be a lot more fidgety and awkward in such a situation. So for all that people say about her being too easy-going, I admire that Ji-ho can stand up for herself at the crucial moments (this, and at the stupid dinner the drama team ambushed her with).

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You pointed out something about Ji-ho that I also love.

She is not someone who keeps quiet when she is wronged. She confronts people in a non-aggressive way and she's always honest and firm. I admire her bravery, and it makes her such a great female character.
I think it's what I first loved about this show, above anything else.

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(=

Ji-ho reminds me a little of Jang Na-ra's character in Fated to Love You. At the start of that show, JNR's character seemed like the kind of girl who always finds it hard to reject people when they ask her for help, even though she clearly knows her colleagues are taking advantage of her. But later we learned that she made a conscious choice to be kind, and that when the situation warrants it, she's not afraid to stand up for herself, or to speak up for the things she believes in.

I'm very glad for characters like these. I guess a lot of media (TV shows, movies, books) tend to portray the nice girls as pushovers (or they might blow up spectacularly at a later point), and it's both unrealistic and unhealthy to repeat those stereotypes. But Ji-ho shows it's possible to stand one's ground without being snarky/bitter, to be matter-of-fact without lashing out.

There's another reason why I appreciate such characters. I like to think that I can take care of myself in that I wouldn't put up with nonsense and I'm generally unafraid to voice my opinion. But I had a tendency to do that in quite a blunt way that might come off as aggressive - like my first instinct might be to assert that I'm upset/offended - and it might unnecessarily make a situation tense.

I think there's a lot of grace in the way that Ji-ho handles tough situations, and scenes like that also serve as a useful reminder to myself to nurture good habits.

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Oh sweetheart if only I could upvote a thousand time your comment.❤
You said everything so well. Sometimes in dramaland I get the impression that people want us to believe that the tough girl is the one who can shout harder but no, it's more than that and Ji Ho proves it.

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I agree, she's one of the few heroines I've been able to root for whole heartedly
And it's because she won't back down if she's in the right, if the issue is important.

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"However, I love that Ji-ho decided to be upfront and shut down Bok-nam from making advances towards her."

Thank you, I'd forgotten about this. All I remembered was how he kept touching her and getting in her face and she wasn't putting up enough of a fight. But now that I think about it, that might be victim-blaming on my part. It's on Bok-nam to refrain from invading her space; it's not on her to be on guard all the time in case a creep might be in the vicinity.

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In small moments like that when your made to feel uncomfortable, by the time you get over your moment of shock and think of a way to address it the moment is gone and it seems petty to pursue it. Especially if you are on the reserved side you kind of assume that is only a difference in personality,some people are comfortable with casual touching, some are not.

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"by the time you get over your moment of shock and think of a way to address it the moment is gone"

Oh, believe me, I get it. Unfortunately, too many girls get it, because we live it everyday.

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I agree. It's happened to me previously, where I was so frozen with shock, by the time I;m able to process and address it. It's too late. Also, the feelings of helplessness and being scared can come into play. I know in my situation personally, I was terrified to say something, because it may have made the situation worse. All I could think is, I want to get away.

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I understand that completely as well. I've been living in a big city for 3 years and have managed to never get harassed on the street or on public transportation... until recently. I always thought I'd be able to say something and stand my ground, but I was so shocked when it happened that I couldn't say anything. Whenever I think about it I get mad at myself. The truth is that we don't know how we will react in situations like that until it actually happens. :(

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Too true. Thanks for pointing that out.

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Ji-ho's only mistake, imo, is that she continued to fraternize with Bok-Nam outside of work. They need to cordial at work and possible after work dinners. She owes him nothing during her personal time. Hanging out and taking rides from him, after he said he didn't care that she was married, sends mixed messages.

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My thoughts exactly.

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I don’t think so. That’s saying that just because you’re married you’re not allowed to hang out or have any male friends. Ji Ho accepted a ride from a colleague. That’s it.

Also, you’re basically saying that because Su Ji doesn’t say anything to her boss and superiors about their inappropriate behaviors is sending mixed messages.

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<That’s saying that just because you’re married you’re not allowed to hang out or have any male friends.

This is South Korea though. I have Korean friends who won't even send other friend's husbands direct Facebook messages but only talk in "group chat" because anything other is perceived as inappropriate.

I'm not saying there are no male/female friendships among married people in Korea, but it's not quite so straightforward as in the West – people do think about it a lot more carefully here, not just for themselves but also because of the pressure around them (how others might perceive it and misunderstand).

Also, it's one thing to hang out with colleagues, and another to hang out with someone who hit on you pretty strongly, didn't accept how you feel about it (i.e. your rejection) and continues to hit on you. Maybe it's just me, but I would draw some pretty clear lines and avoid that person as much as possible, particularly outside the professional context. That said: that's another thing that's more complicated in Korea – people don't just clock out at 6 pm and go home. There's post-work social obligations, but so far this is not obvious with Jiho's new job, since it's not the cafe owner that is pressuring them to socialize after work – Soo-ji's situation represents that kind of pressure within Korean society much more so.

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I agree that she should draw a line, but she might also feel obligated to him because he technically got her the job. When she said she could rearrange her schedule to take Cat to the vet, she said she would ask Bok-nam, not the manager. So, I think she does feel like she has those social obligations towards him as a work sunbae. She did put him in his place when he took her to see the lights, but I think I would have started walking home once he took me somewhere that I didn't agree to. lol

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No. At least, in this episode, all Bok Nam purports to know is that Ji-Ho is married. Yet, he propositions her to have an extramarital affair. He literally asked her if being married means she can't have a boyfriend. (Which by the way, yes, being married typically means you can't have someone on the side.) Bok Nam tells her that he has a romantic interest in her. He's repeatedly mentions he has no interest in a platonic relationship.

Ji-Ho told him she's married because she is in fact married, regardless of the legitimacy of said marriage. She was attempting to set a boundary and prevent further advances. She fudges the line when she still accepts his gestures.

Men and women can be friends. Couples can have respective friends of the opposite sex. A problem arises when someone knowingly disrespects the union and that's what Bok Nam is doing. Ji-Ho unconsciously aids in the disrespect by accepting the advances.

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Saying no repeatedly is HARD. Bok-nam ambushed Ji-ho after work when she was tired. He didn't listen when she said no and asked her to come up with excuses. She felt indebted to him over getting her the job.

Yes, you're right. She shouldn't have gotten on the motorcycle. It is still making my breath hitch and my gut twist to read that it is her fault that he won't freaking back off.

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I think part of Ji-ho's strategy is to try to get him to back off by treating him like a dongsaeng as subtle way of showing him that he's friend-zoned.

Similar to what @jig said, I think Ji-ho probably felt obliged to keep things cordial since 1) she did get the job through him, and getting that job meant a lot to her; and 2) she's someone whom she'll have to work with regularly.

As for the final motorbike ride (just caught up with ep 8), Ji-ho was trying to shake him off until he hit a nerve.

Maybe they weren't the best choices she could have made, but reasonable given her circumstances.

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Thank you for the recap, @murasakimii!

I agree with you on the part that we both loved how Se-hee is sloooowly becoming aware of Ji-ho in this episode. Those glances shows how much he cares for her, (even though he is not yet aware of this) but that stare at the end show much more meaning than the words at the back of Ji-ho's book!

And can we just take a moment to show our gratitude towards the writer for making the show stand on its own by not adding an annoying love triangle that lasts for a whole season? (or 16 episodes, at the very least)

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I think that a traditional male (or female) second lead is completely unecessary for this drama so I'm glad there isn't one.

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Yes! And here's to hoping no new 2nd leads emerge!

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Same, I was worried they would go the second lead route with Bok Nam or even Bo Mi, but I love that instead JH was underneath annoyed at his familiarity with her, and Bo Mi is like the annoying office sister to SH and Sang Gu haha.

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Totally agree! Hoping we don't get a second female lead either. There's supposed to be another actress joining in soon, but not sure what her role is supposed to be.

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I found out somewhere else, the other female lead (I hope it’s a special appearance/cameo) is rumored to be Lee ChungA – Sehee’s first love (internally screams: NOOOOO). I never imagined Sehee had a first love at the first place.

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I just hope if he does have a first love, and if she is his cause for all the trauma it's not the generic type that we thought. I really want this writer to keep their awesomeness up.

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"And can we just take a moment to show our gratitude towards the writer for making the show stand on its own by not adding an annoying love triangle that lasts for a whole season? (or 16 episodes, at the very least)"

Hear, hear!

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I'm hoping that the writer explores all the issues with the three couples instead of a jealousy/love triangle too. That's why I was glad the Bok nam turned out to be a stalker because didn't we all just predict the jealousy trope when Bok nam first appeared?

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