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[Community] A friend for a season


Forest of Secrets

By night owl

My traditional blind date was not going well. When I told him that I enjoyed watching dramas, he smirked and snickered. I wanted to give him a verbal slap but etiquette meant I had to instead sip my coffee and look away politely. The date would go from bad to disastrous as he would go on to insult my family. Unfortunately he’s not alone in his disdain. There are many who see drama lovers and drama communities as a bit silly. However, those who share a love for dramas can understand how a drama community can not only enrich your viewing experience, but also your life.


I’m a Mother, Too

Life can sometimes feel like those 120 episode daily dramas such as I’m a Mother, Too where it’s just one storm after another for the main leads till around the 80 episode mark, which is when they finally start to catch a break. During those high winds, I found it difficult to chat with friends and family. Answering “How are you?” was both complicated and depressing. I wasn’t able to process my emotions, but I still needed someone to chat with. Drama communities became this lifeline where I could laugh and talk about something that had absolutely nothing to do with my real life; a place where I was not defined by what was happening in my life at that moment.

When I shared this with an older friend, she exclaimed, “Now I understand why my mom loves watching dramas and then chatting with her sister-in-law.” It wasn’t about the quality of the drama itself or whether the story made any sense. My friend came to understand that for both these women in their 80s, a shared drama viewing gave them a way to connect on a daily basis. Most of the folks they know have passed on and all their younger family members are busy with their lives. So what to chat about if one is not going to dredge up old stories?


Laurel Tree Tailors

It’s easy to imagine the online drama community like those gatherings we see in weekend dramas such as Laurel Tree Tailors, where all these different characters sit around a table and share their views. A drama episode becomes something to look forward to as we share our thoughts and feelings with others. A character’s journey can be moving, and when you have all sorts of thoughts and emotions running through your mind, who better to share them with than the rest of the community? That act of sharing can remove a sense of isolation and walls we build around ourselves.

It’s also surprisingly educational to hear someone reflect on drama characters from a real world perspective as it makes you realize that there are lives and problems outside of your own frame of reference. Hearing from others can widen horizons. Sometimes, the characters you’re sympathetic to may not elicit the same response from others, but maybe that’s not so surprising since there are so many lenses with which to view the same situation.


Tunnel

What a revelation it was to realize that people have different expectations towards relationships and romance. A pairing that we may find sweet like in Tunnel, others may find dull or just okay. As we discussed characters and their journeys, the views of the community helped me learn a lot about relationships and myself. Various conversations with community members over the years have made me realize what I need and require from a relationship: respect, trust, honesty and teamwork. While that may not be what someone else wants or needs, it does not make my needs small or invalid.

I am a romantic–there I said it! In a world where we are constantly forced to be practical, a drama community can allow us to be romantic together and feel that we are not stupid or alone in wanting love. For many, a drama community is the only place where people can squeal, giggle, laugh over romantic scenes and indulge their romantic side. It can allow people to dream and cultivate their hopes as they realize that there are others who also share similar romantic dreams.

So what is a drama community? A friend for a season. When one drama ends, we may jump to another and some names we may not see again. But for that moment, for that season, it was a good ride together.


Age of Youth 2

 
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Friend for a season? I would never have thought that but it is quite true! We can't expect everyone to like the same shows! But when we do love/ hate something together, it indeed is a perfect ride together! Thanks for writing it in! :)

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thank you. :) the wonderful thing about kdramas is that it ends but it also means the friends we chat with disappear on to other dramas. so yea, friend for a season felt apt; whether friends are for a season, a reason or a lifetime -- they all make an impact and can be wonderful memories no?

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Definitely! They all leave a lil bit of themselves with us to remember! And you never know, we might find them in another show we like. Maybe not the exact same group, but there can be similarities!

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Thanks for this @night owl. That was a great read and so relatable. It's true that I've found many friends coming and going and coming back again with different shows.

It's actually the hanging out with the community that gets me watching (and re-watching), as much as I do, so that I can comment with a certain degree of accuracy! It is so much fun and so much the richer a viewing experience, when I get the views of an international community. So many different cultures mesh here on DB and their views are both so different and so similar as mine, it's always simultaneously an eye-opening and a comforting experience.

And oh dear that blind date!!! Did this virtual stranger end up dissing your family? Or were you referring to your community of drama watchers as family? May you meet much more respectful and open-minded people in your dating life!! 😊

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thanks! :) I watch a lot of weekend/daily shows and many I would have dropped if I was watching on my own but the conversations kept me watching till the end because many times, the conversations were way more entertaining than the show itself.
As for traditional blind date, he insulted my actual family because we enjoy traveling. Yea, even my friends couldn't figure out this insult and why my family would be considered flakey (silly and not steady in thought) because we enjoy traveling. He actually said "you are not ready for marriage" because I love dramas and travel. (eye roll -- sorry, long personal rant -- getting my therapy here! hahahahaha).
But yes, thank you for your wishes -- am sure that I will eventually meet someone who is respectful and open-minded. :)

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Totally disrespectful! There are a lot of non drama watching people out there who have a prejudice against korean drama watchers or k-POP enthusiast which I do not get. I mean - if you watch American TV series - no difference. Just different language and genre. I have had my share of looks when I tell people that I am into dramas and k-pop - or when they see my BTS wallpaper on my phone or when my phone rings and FIRE!! blasts out!! 😂 (maybe it's got to do with my age and my profession - I don't know) but you know what? As 2NE1 said - I don't care eh eh eh eh eh!! 😂 💜
You do you. And wait for that guy who holds up to the Gold standard and understands you and accepts you.

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awww, thank you for your wishes. :) heart!

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Thank you, you have captured all the reasons why I love drama and the community! (And throw that guy back into the dating pool!)

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hahahahha.. yea there was absolutely no question of a second date. :D

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Yeah, but it all works out, because meeting "less preferable candidates" like him will make it easier to recognize a gem when he appears!

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absolutely! sending hearts to you. hahahha.. :)

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In a digital world where we are connected to everything, it is hard to communicate your thoughts unless you find a real community.

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yea, it is strange that the more gadgets we have for communication, the more disconnected we seem to be. so, a community where we can share thoughts and bond becomes even more vital in today's age.

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Thank you @nightowl. People's reaction when you say you watch dramas shows whether they're a keeper or you're better off without them. In group building exercises and you are asked to tell one thing the group doesn't know about you, that is one thing to say. You get eye rolls but having a boss that gets you can be exhilarating. And this db community, gobsmacked! Makes for a totally different experience. It's as you say, your mother and sis in law, in rl. Kdramas(J or c too) touch hearts and hearts look for its kin. best shared. Like comfort food when alone.

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thank you. yea, drama is indeed better when shared. it is so much more funnier and squeal worthy! :)

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A friend for a season - so beautifully said. And it’s nice when an old friend revisits and we interact over a new drama.

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thanks. and yea, it is so much fun when you run into old friends over a new drama. it is easier to chat as you already know their vibe, sense of humour and thought process. :)

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A friend for a season— agree! There are moments in DB that I see familiar names on the comment section or on the fanwall and I’m like “yeap, we’re watching the same dramas”. There’s that sense of companionship although you’re not watching it in the same space and time.

Thanks for this @night owl! 💜

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thanks. I know what you mean -- it is exciting when friends in the community watch and you get to read their views and squeals even if you have already seen the drama. it is like you get to revisit your favourite drama through another eyes. :)

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Totally agree!

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thanks for the article...if i had read this any earlier in my life i probably wouldn't have related but ever since i started watching kdramas i agree with this, as i look forward to chatting about dramas with people who enjoy watching dramas. True, that we all don't need to love/hate the same shows. And yes, people sometimes give me the 'look' for watching dramas especially the rom-coms but i try to move past that coz i rather be watching these dramas anyways than talking to some of them. In general, romantic shows & books gets a bad rep but these are my go-to so it's lovely to connect with people with similar interests to talk these through:-) thank you.

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thanks. yea, romantic books getting a bad rep is funny considering that it basically outsells every other genre in the publishing industry and the readers are the loyal, regular type which means they continue to consume in bulk. but for some reason, romance related books/shows/dramas all get a bad rep. perhaps, because it is not seen as practical or brainy enough? but yea, it is definitely lovely to connect with others of similar interests so we can enjoy squealing together. :)

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a friend for a season..this is so beautifully said.
to be honest, I used to have friends who share the same interest with me when I was in uni.
After graduation, I participated in Drama Beans community.
I watched less dramas than the past and also became more pickier in choosing dramas.
But, when I share my thoughts, there’ll be at least someone who’ll react to my thoughts. And I found it lovely to have someone to react to and to discuss about a drama when I want to talk. So, this is it. I fell in love being in Drama Beans community.

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thanks. :) yea, it seems that as we get older, it gets harder to form friendships and find people with similar interests especially with our busy lives. also, our drama interests seem to change and adapt over time. so the online community is a great way to connect with others even if it is just for a season.

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My father, who doesn't live with me, came to visit (you guys already know he was even in the hospital and he still must go through surgery. Update: he is back home and must seek medical help over there while we for sure will have to sell our organs in order to send him money, -I hope I am exaggerating-) told me with disdain that kdramas were exactly the same that cheap south american soaps!
I didn't hit him because it was disrespectful and he is sick, but I got upset and offended inside.
A k-drama has nothing nothing at all to do with cheap south american soaps, not even a cheap kdrama where the main couple is being the object of hatred and misunderstandings until the last 20 minutes in the last episode.
People should know what they are criticising before making judgements, but we understand somehow why they are like that, it is mostly ignorance and a false understanding of what a real drama is.
I am very happy I can count with this community where we understand we can disagree, but we respect the right the other has to disagree.
Beanies: fighting!! 🙋

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awww. hugs. it is hard when people, especially family, find our love for kdramas a bit strange but in my experience, the easiest answer that works is simply, "it is short. beginning, middle, end - like a book. it does not go on forever." and the response is then "oh! okay". so after that, people around me treat it like any other hobby or interest. hope that helps. :)

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Yeah, i have answered like that too. But I am ok, it doesn't hurt my pride or the relationship when another one doesn't understand. Because like I say, I know it is mostly ignorance on their part and not malice. They just have no idea 😂😂😂😂✌

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This is a great piece, thank you Night Owl for sharing it with us ~ drama community is strange in that it is friends for seasons (of shows), but also wonderful that human beings from so many different places can come together in enjoyment/exasperation over these stories. ^_^

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thank you. yea, I find it lovely how we can find different ages and different experiences and that adds to the enjoyment of the drama as it reflects in the variety of reactions. in the beginning, it used to amaze me how friendships form and how people remember little details and ask "how did your exam go?" "is your son better now?" but now I find that just sweet and endearing aspect of drama community.

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Well said Night Owl. Friend for a season indeed. Much as I am a fan of blood death and gore tv, I am a sucker for a RomCom - so yes - I am a romantic too. It feels awesome to be able to share bits of info like this with like minded people who are all around the world - who understands, will not necessarily agree with opinions, will defend their puppy to the death, but are willing to accept that some do not share the same love, will analyse, theorise and generally have fun together - Beanies round the world - I love and respect you all.💜

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thank you. :) it is weird that rom-com or romance gets such a bad rep considering how much business advertising is built around ideas around romance. from perfume ads to chocolates to travel, the list goes on! hahahhaa... maybe because it is embarrassing to admit that we are all a little romantic? kekeke..

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