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[Community] Love, February


Angel’s Last Mission: Love

By hotcocoagirl

A few years ago, I started up a writing challenge that I dubbed “Love, February.” Every February, for the fourteen days leading up to Valentine’s Day, I would write on the subject of love (and not just romantic love, all love). It could be a poem, a short story, musings, or just a straight up list of favorite love songs or scenes.

My first “Love, February” was borne of loneliness. I was in a new city, a new school, a new career. It was just plain hard. I tried to push through it and told myself, “This was the right decision, I’m in the right place.”

In my attempts to carry on as usual that year, I focused on Valentine’s Day. I had always loved it and at home Valentine’s Day meant a big holiday meal (courtesy of my mom), complete with cake, and small gifts. The previous three years at university, I had thrown Valentine’s parties for my friends where we made heart-shaped foods, had pink drinks and watched rom-coms. I knew that year though that just a party wouldn’t cut it. Darn it, I needed to write!


Chicago Typewriter

Writing is like breathing. You expel the words, words, words that are trapped inside like CO2, which build up like a toxin in the body if you can’t get them out.

That first year, I wrote about both fictional and real love. I wrote of my mom’s lentil soup, which I made every week back then, of my purring cat. Of fictional stories I wish I had the ability to write novels instead of paragraphs about.

I also planned a party for the few friends I had then, even though at that point I was so busy I could barely manage to meet up once a week for a meal with them.

On February 9th, I passed out at school from exhaustion and malnutrition. I was so stressed I hadn’t realized I had stopped eating properly. The party was canceled and the “Love, February” challenge went uncompleted.

I made two more attempts to complete the challenge in the following years. By that point I was living with friends and beginning to be comfortable in my work, but I still found it difficult to sustain the focus on love for the full fourteen days that “Love, February” called for.

In 2019, I sighed when I saw February was approaching. It was a new year but I wasn’t where I wanted to be in my career or personal life. There was nothing new to love in my life. I feared I would only be rehashing thoughts I had already written about. So I gathered my courage and did something rather brave (for me). I invited Beanies to join.

And I was overwhelmed.


Strong Woman Do Bong-soon

Beanies, some I knew, some I didn’t, poured their hearts out on the theme of love. I woke up each morning eager to read what people had written. We were located across the world, and perhaps the only thing we had in common was a love of K-dramas, but that was enough.

THIS is community. A place where we laugh together, can cry together, celebrate together, and mourn together. Together, we experience love.

That month I learned love was K-dramas, books, K-pop, movies, family, cats, friends, food, mathematics, and so much more than I can fit here in this short post. Love is a journey that we each embark on, and I am so thankful that we can go part of the way together. What people wrote was real, often raw, and created with a love that was as sincere as that of a first love in a drama.

Thank you Beanies, for being the very best Valentines this February.

Thank you Dramabeans, for creating this community.

Love,
February

 
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πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’š

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Your "Love, February" challenge is one of the best thing happened in fan wall this year, @hotcocoagirl . I've never read so many touching words in a day as in those 14 days. You could turn it into a new tradition here, and I'm sure many more beanies will join in.

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I second this ~!!! It should definitely be made a Beanies' tradition from now on!!!

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^_^ Thanks so much Gadis!

It is a nice tradition, and I'll be sure to send out the invitation again this next year!
http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31300000/Jinyoung-b1a4-31339807-500-251.gif

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Lovely post!!! Lovely, lovely, totally lovely!
Thank you so much! Next February, tag me in!

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@hotcocoagirl πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

I actually saved my own post from "Love, February" and still have it on my laptop :) The post isn't going anywhere soon ~!!! I might actually compile all of my--and other Beanies', with y'alls permission, of course-- "Love, February" posts down the road and make it into a scrapbook or something... We shall see!!!

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So, if you want to help me I’m actually compiling them right now ~ I have all the links to posts on a google doc, but I’m trying to copy and paste all the content into one place. I wanted it to be done by the time this was posted, but ive only finished like 4 days worth of posts...

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Let’s do it!
My next few weekends will be busy, including today & tomorrow, but I can do stuff during the weekdays πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

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Oooh bebe, email [email protected] and I can share the work!

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β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️ love is just being with lovely people like you and this beanie world...

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Oh @hotcocoagirl I enjoyed the Love, February theme this year so much. I was so blown away by how beautiful and raw and honest everyone's posts were. As fun as the Beanie Island Party and the Wedding were, I think that Love, February was the best online community event I've been a part of in a long time.

Everyone's bravery and emotional honesty was inspiring and led me to be just as brave and honest. It really was a beautiful and overwhelming time.

Thanks for inspiring it and hopefully we'll all be around to do it next year as well.

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^_^ Thanks for all your contributions to Love this year LT! Totally agree that it was beautiful and overwhelming... way more so than I expected http://78.media.tumblr.com/2e3cc961ed5a4714f326be67c0bcd032/tumblr_orkpy4ex7K1s9u6a3o5_250.gif

I will try to send out the invite next year as well ~

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I found my Love, February posts the other week and I almost cried again because of the Beanie replies to one so yeah...

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I think I need to go back and write those unwritten replies to your posts sunbae, they got so close to heart that I could never find the right words to say anything to you!

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Are you serious???? /I/ was the one who didn't know what to say to YOU guys half the time haha

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Writing is like breathing. You expel the words, words, words that are trapped inside like CO2, which build up like a toxin in the body if you can’t get them out.

Gosh I feel this in my bones and in my soul like you wouldn't believe.

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http://66.media.tumblr.com/708cb94cb068ed322e89ca79d8110253/tumblr_n9l3mv63Ni1tgzsf8o6_500.gif

thank you for recognizing my favorite line of this whole thing. Only thing the editor changed here is I think I wrote "acid" not "a toxin" originally.

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We're kindred spirits Coco. It was meant to be hahaha. (also is that A REALLY YOUNG BIA4 GIF WAT)

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(what you have yet to realized is that I am responding to every comment on this thread with a b1a4 gif)

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(amazing)

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@hotcocoagirl
Thank you for hosting love February, I was so glad to be a part of it and even more glad to be able to read beanies entries on it!!
Love you all and thank you !!
β€οΈπŸ§‘πŸ’›πŸ’šπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’œβ™₯οΈπŸ’—πŸ’“πŸ’žπŸ’•πŸ’•β£οΈπŸ’ŸπŸ’Œ

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Thank you @oppafangirl for participating! It wouldn't have been the same without you!! And your science love stories ^_^

http://68.media.tumblr.com/4d28f82ca79ff551620e07bd9a45f00a/tumblr_o5dhtv429G1uxncd6o2_400.gif

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Ohhh, so this is how Love February started. I hope I can join in too next year!

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Thanks @hotcocoagirl This is a great piece. I too wish I could write effortlessly to let it all out, but I stumble on finding the words or I lose them along the way. Just keeping to a few paragraphs is doable, but even then, it takes more time than one would think or more than some judge they are worth.

I just came back from your fan wall. What fun! Maybe I'll come by next February to add my 2 cents. πŸ™„

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Ah thank you for reading chingu ~ writing is hard, so much harder than it seems. I try to write and struggle so hard with words, I am amazed by all the wonderful writing that Beanies consistently bring to this community ~

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31300000/Jinyoung-b1a4-31339807-500-251.gif

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Thank you @hotcocoagirl not only for this lovely meditation on community but on the joyous celebration of all forms of love you released on the beanies wall with Love, February.
❀❀❀❀❀

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Best thing to happen on the Beanie wall this year @hotcocoagirl! 😭

Y'know I also started this year already wanting it to be over, because I also wasn't where I wanted to be in life... but last February brought so many feels with it; and it allowed me to focus on the good things, slow down and be grateful.

Thank youuuu so much πŸ’–

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"it allowed me to focus on the good things, slow down and be grateful" I'm so happy, because that was my original purpose for Love, February. ^_^

Thank you chingu, for being a part of this community ^_^

http://66.media.tumblr.com/aa68f267e9277749073c3fe084fa99c5/tumblr_mvxeeq3h2W1rqdzb7o1_500.gif

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πŸ₯° @mary (don’t know who else to tag) I just want to give a big Thank you to whichever wonderful DB moderator edited this ~ they embedded links even, which is so cool,and just made this whole thing far more lovely and coherent with their efforts.

Also thank you to dramabeans for posting this, and creating this community ~

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They did it with my Melona post too and it was awesome haha.

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Man, it's like I want a DB editor for all my writing now.

(I hate editing, it's a big stumbling block for my writing)

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(yeah generally that's why you have an editor if you get published that's what they're for lmao)

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I was lurking on beanie walls throughout the Love, February era and I loved every moment of it!
I think I came out right at the end to add a post of my own!

Thanks for this @hotcocoagirl... it was an amazing thing and I really hope it becomes beanland tradition <3

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Coco, this is a lovely piece reminding me of the lovely challenge that you started in Feb ^^

I remember at first I didn't join as I was too shy & instead enjoyed reading all those who took up the challenge. But hallway through i guess, i thought I'd join & write about the little things that i loved instead of some big reason that i was initially looking for.
And wow, that was a liberating experience for me. Like you said, words need to be expelled, & the more I did (with caution & a bit hesitation because sometimes it felt personal) the more I felt at ease(?)

Plus there were so many varied post and ALL were beautiful! I think those days, reading the posts were spent half in smiling & half in crying (good crying).
I'm glad I've filed away all the posts in order so i can go back to them once in a while & find my solace.

Thanks for initiating this Coco. πŸ’•

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Gah your posts were so beautiful Kitty ~ I was actually jealous of a couple of them, they were so poignant...

I also feel better when I'm writing, often during an anxiety attack I will just write the same thought over and over again until the act of writing calms me down. Words are powerful, and I think Love, February is a great example of both their beautiful and therapeutic nature across the many and myriad posts. ^_^

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31300000/Jinyoung-b1a4-31339807-500-251.gif

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Oh thank you πŸ™ˆ
But I loved your posts too so we're even 😁
And also your latest post about your 'fatcat' & watching the sunset with him was just so beautiful & felt like a continuation of your live feb posts ^^

You're right. Words are powerful. And if wielded in the positive way, can be therapeutic.

Btw, your words made me go back & check out some love feb posts. They are still brilliant ^^

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Hehe, cats bring out the love in me...

I’m working on compiling the posts! If you want to help, just let me know!

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Sure! I'd like to help in any way that I can :)

I've like saved the hyperlink of every love, feb post. Most of them are sorted according to date, it's a bit hapazard in the beginning plus time zones confused me πŸ˜…
But I do have all of them, if you want. ^^

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Wow - this is great writing @hotcocoagirl! I've always dreamed of moving someplace new where I didn't know anyone to see if I could manage, but didn't have the chance. But I'm glad to know that you were able to do it and you survived and thrived!!!!
Your "Love February" post and the resulting posts from other Beanies was so much fun to read.
I would have responded but at that time some things were going on and I was in the process of letting go of two very important relationships in my life and I wasn't finding much joy or love anywhere in my life.
But I still was impressed by the outpouring of joy and passion that you brought out in everyone.
I agree that Dramabeans is such a wonderful place to be (albeit virtually) and I'm so glad you write and add to this community.
Com-sahm-me-dah!!!

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^_^ Thank you for being a part of this community chingu, and don't feel bad about not writing a post ~ like I said above, writing is my personal therapy, and I struggled to even post songs to fill up the days for Love, February... I'm sorry to hear you were going through a rough spot back then, I hope things have become easier for you.

Com-sahm-me-dah!!! *finger hearts*
http://media.tumblr.com/969a4f8c69f8e140e4c57afc6515f5d0/tumblr_inline_mp8b72EwZE1qz4rgp.gif

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You are most welcome. Unfortunately things have not gotten better, but I'm trying to deal with it in other ways. Some days I'm angry, some days I try not to think, then I have some days like yesterday where the pain of loss is crippling. Unfortunately I don't see it changing any time soon.
So I work in my garden and pull weeds, plant flowers, and cut things down or dig things up.
And of course watch my dramas as a form of release from reality.
*finger hearts back to you* I will always appreciate those who write well and eloquently.

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:( I’m so sorry chingu. That is a hard burden to bear for so many months... I’m glad you have your garden, it sounds like a wonderful form of therapy. ^_^ let me know if you want distractions, I can find gifs and songs and drama scenes random and specific.

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Thank you chingu. Gardening, dramas and work that I enjoy are helpful.
I will continue to enjoy your writing. One of these days I hope that I can start writing again like I did when I was taking care of my parents. It can be a catharsis - but also very hard.
thank you again!

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You know how much I loved it. I loved it. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to share our tiny little love stories. Hope to do it again next year!

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@hotcocoagirl Love, February has cemented February 2019 in my memory as possibly the best February I can remember. It was amazing. Going through the fan wall for that half month is...Magical. Thank you so much for sharing it with us here, and for letting us be a part of it. I plan to do it next year too, and I hope beanies will take it up once again. :)

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^_^ This is likely my favorite February as well hehe ~

Thank you for joining, chingu, it was wonderful.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/097f8246ee40fb99a20a42fb41c9c745/tumblr_mg95k0MocS1rtsmcio1_500.gif

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Everything @greenfields said above! I never cared much about Valentine's Day but you and all the Beanies made February filled with so much love!

Thank you, @hotcocoagirl for this incredible act of
Love, February

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Yes to all you said and @greenfields said above, I have feb as a new fav month, where I can look forward to amazing beanies ^^!

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VALENTINES DAY AMBASSADOR MISSION SUCCESS

Sorry, I've been trying to convert people to the Valentine's Day fandom for years. It's my favorite holiday, besides National Chocolate Cake Day.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw998dGSbs1r662zao1_250.gif

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So that's how it started! I never saw the original post and was wondering what those Love, February poems were all about. I guess I'm always out of the loop. :(

Anyway, this is great. Thanks for sharing this @hotcocoagirl.

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Gah! I'm sorry if you feel out of the loop... I think the original post got buried beneath the responses. :(

Thank you for reading!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls3ezyi2cg1qfwyu2o1_500.gif

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LOL! Thank you! :)

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Beautiful post. And im humbled to have been a part of it. It was the chance and occasion for us to all pour our emotions on paper (well, online) and i was shocked by how broad and deep our emotions were. Also, how similar we are despite us all having different experiences. It was really something and @hotcocoagirl you should be proud you started it!

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Chingu, thank you so much for joining! Goodness, I remember your first post about self love, I questioned whether you had read my own mind...

Eek don't make me blush
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6egnwX0dt1qgkzcm.gif

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Awesome post, thank you for this and the challenge.

I wish I had participated. I saw the posts somewhat late then chickened out and felt like I didn’t have anything to share. And I’m not much of a writer. Maybe I can muster up the courage next year.

But even though I didn’t submit anything, it was lovely just being able to read all of the wonderful entries. The Dramabeans community is truly one of a kind.

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Thank you for reading. And next time, you don't have to worry about writing, you can just share a video or an image, or write if you care to. I hope you can join next time. ^_^

http://78.media.tumblr.com/ec63e25f1dc992a71637b838d2e3ce84/tumblr_mzirzjtqm21sivsvgo1_400.gif

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Just so thankful for you and all of the Beanies throughout February, and the opportunity to have been part of it. It was beyond beautiful to be able to hear everyone’s stories, and gosh, they hurt and healed me in all of the right places, and I will forever be grateful for those fourteen days. This piece is lovely, Coco, as are you.

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Gosh it was beautiful. So very, very beautiful.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls3ezyi2cg1qfwyu2o1_500.gif

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Thank you, @hotcocoagirl, for bringing Love, February to DB! Although I didn't write anything (maybe I'll be more courageous next year), reading everyone's posts was inspiring and heartwarming. February is a month I would always wish would go by fast, it's when winter is at its most tiresome, but now I'm looking forward to it ❀️

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^_^ YES ANOTHER TO THE VALENTINES DAY FANDOM WELCOME

ahem, thank you for reading, that too is participating, dear Moon Doggie ~

http://media.tumblr.com/969a4f8c69f8e140e4c57afc6515f5d0/tumblr_inline_mp8b72EwZE1qz4rgp.gif

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Yes count me in haha ❀❀

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Where is the "like" button for this post? I love this SO MUCH.

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Thank YOU for giving us Love, February. Such a beautiful time on the wall.

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Thank you for being a part of it, it wouldn't have bbeen the same without you isa ~
http://66.media.tumblr.com/708cb94cb068ed322e89ca79d8110253/tumblr_n9l3mv63Ni1tgzsf8o6_500.gif

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I was really blown away by many of the Love, February posts. I'm a serviceable writer, but you guys are amazing! I remember thinking multiple times, why is this person wasting their time watching dramas? They should be writing books!

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Right?! There are so many crazy amazing writers here, honestly I was jealous half the time hehe ~
http://78.media.tumblr.com/2e3cc961ed5a4714f326be67c0bcd032/tumblr_orkpy4ex7K1s9u6a3o5_250.gif

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Beanies are always smart, fun, and witty but February 2019, thanks to @hotcocoagirl, they were smart, fun, witty, and so much more. This community continues to amaze me with how supportive and just plain game everyone is to new ideas and new voices. Thanks Coco for your prompt, for this essay, and for just being.

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"Love, February" is one of my favorite things. My drama watching fell to the wayside during those two weeks. Thank you for inspiring so many to write beautiful pieces.

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High praise indeed! if it tears you away from beloved dramas hehe ~

Thank you chingu!

http://66.media.tumblr.com/708cb94cb068ed322e89ca79d8110253/tumblr_n9l3mv63Ni1tgzsf8o6_500.gif

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I’m tearing up, then I see Reaper and Goblin and let out a chuckle! Love, February started as a fun thought and writing experiment for me, but turned out to be so much more. Writing about my parents, my first love, and others that I’d never written of prior showed me how vulnerable I could be, which was cathartic. Thanks for approaching all of us with the idea. I’ll never forget it.

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Thank you for joining Ally, thank you for writing and commenting and experiencing with all of us together.

It really was a communal journey...

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls3ezyi2cg1qfwyu2o1_500.gif

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I didn't check the beanies wall until this spring , after February. Or I somehow missed the Love, February this year. What a heartwarming idea πŸ’• ! I can't wait for the next one !

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I just saw this today! ❣️ Cheers to Love, February ❣️

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I've been away from DB for a while and was missing some of the old voices...I came looking for you @hotcocoagirl, but I wasn't sure how to find you...I thought maybe I could pull up the Love, February posts if I did a DB search for the term...and I found this instead. Oh, this makes me as happy as all those posts in February did. That was such a beautiful experience--the rawness, the genuineness, the openness. You are right. THIS is community. I am still so so thankful to you for having drawn us together in that way. <3 <3 <3

(And also where are you, friend?? are you on drama/DB break? miss you xx)

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Nicole!!!!! I’ve missed you chingu! Hehe, have I become an old voice? I did go on a bit of a break, especially after I attained my rooftop ~ I haven’t honestly watched many dramas in 2019, and only check DB every few days... Work has been rather all consuming for me lately, and life just plain busy... How are you these days?

lately I’ve been more active in the Beanie discord/WhatsApp groups (where they are forced to hear my actual voice), I’m not sure if you ever go on there ~

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hehe maybe i should say "familiar voices"--i came back after a few months and there's lots of new people (so fun but i missed the familiar faces too ;). things are busy for me too. i had a bit of slowdown for the past coupel weeks and finally got back into dramabeans and dramas and remembered how much fun i have on here.

i didn't know about the beanie whatsapp group (i don't even know what discord is ugh i am so out of it!!)... i use whatsapp minimally so i dont really know how the groups things work---is it pretty active?

happy to hear you again -- stay sane in the busy ! <3 <3 <3

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Yes, it’s interesting how this space is transitory, yet seems so stable to those of us who have been here for multiple years. (I’ve just been here a couple of years myself). I think β€œfamiliar voices” is a good term for recognizing internet friends ~

Discord is the big chat group that replaced rabbit when it died ~ it’s an app you can get on your phone, and I could prolly tag the gatekeepers there (if you want). I am only in one WhatsApp group, and honestly both apps see more activity than I can usually keep up with ~

I want to be more active again! I’m going to try to do the Makjang Mondays (have you heard about those?), but honestly I’m trying to coordinate Big Life Things, so I might just be commenting on others’ pieces.

I hope you stay sane as well! But honestly, sanity is overrated.

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"how this space is transitory, yet seems so stable" omg yes to this. spot-on.

i think i saw something about makjang mondays...i may just read... i am trying to be more active on here and watch dramas again, but also Real Life is pretty demanding right now so i can't commit to much.

lololol and yes to sanity IS overrated--too true :D

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