from one middle child to another.. *big hugs*

that scene from Reply 1988 got me in the guts too. even when i thought i was over it after so many years being an adult.

i'm the only daughter but there really is no difference when your parents (mostly mom) favour the brothers anyway. luckily i have no issues with my siblings, just feeling detached from the parental unit.

i found a bunch of friends i could really be myself with though so i think that's a win even if i don't feel special in my own family.

i hope we'd all find our own place to be, regardless of where, and it'd be enough. =)

Middle child here. Older sister, younger brother. I related to so much of your post, thanks for writing!

Aww nothing but hugs to you.

I am the older child, and have two younger siblings - a brother and a sister. But still my experience was very close to you. It was always expected that I give up my favourite toy for my younger siblings - 'they should have it they are the youngest'. I also witnessed how much freedom my younger siblings had than I ever did growing up. Basically I was raised to become more of a parent to them and look for for them. 30 years later it is still the same. I look after them more than they look after me. I have no regrets though..

I'm crying while I read this *sending virtual hugs to you*
but my mom said, when parents asked something to one of their child, it means they trust you that you can do it, even when we think it's unfair

and yess Reply 1988 is one of my favorite k-drama because I can relate to the character, not as deok sun but bora, the oldest sister :)

*sends tons of hugs your way* @myrrhl

Thank you for this beautiful write-up and letting us know that we're not alone in this!! Despite feeling like we are in the family :(

I'm not the middle child, but I am the unfavored and unheard second child (of 2... I have an older sister), and there's definitely moments when things happen, things are said, things are heard (on my end), things are unheard despite being said and it stings. It definitely stings. Even though we may know that it's unintentional that we are hurt, it still hurts, and when we express our hurt, those around us--sometimes, it's even those closest to us-- say that we are just 'taking things too personally'. Well duhh.... It's family-- how can we NOT take things personally and more seriously and more from the heart??
There's sooooo many instances I can count that my mom would share something with me (she usually shares things with me first and with me more because I am at home with her more than my older sister is, for various reasons-- i.e. work, I'm a homebody, my mom is a homebody, my sister ISN'T a homebody...-- and I would offer up my thoughts and opinions when asked, but it would simply go right over my mom's head, and then when my mom goes to share about the same things to my sister and my sister offers up the same thoughts and opinions as I do-- and word for word, too, I kid you not-- only then, does my mom hear it, and in my own head I'm like, "Well, then.... That's what I said, but obviously she either didn't hear it the first time when I said it or she wasn't listening in the first place..." It stings.
I consider myself as a pretty affectionate person, and I actually do catch myself being and feeling closer, on an emotional level, to my super close circle of friends-- whom I consider family and tell them 'I love you' all the time-- and being more affectionate (i.e. giving hugs, words of encouragement, etc.) towards said friends than I do with my own family, and it sort of creates a sense of emotional separation in my head-- which I feel horrible about at times-- but it actually might be due to the fact that I am the unheard/unfavored child and this feeling of emotional separation from my actually family is my own mental way of coping/protecting myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my own biological family ever so much--they are my world-- but I just can't help it at times :(

I also cried when I read this, I guess there's nothing like childhood nostalgia to bring in the flood. I also found Reply 1988 as a replica of my childhood and my family, in a different decade and a different country. I am the eldest child with a younger sister and brother. I was totally Bora - buried in my books and didn't show I cared and blind to the things that made my life easiest among us. Although my sister claims she was the favourite daughter (my parents let her because that doesn't bother me) she would also be the first one to complain that she isn't loved enough. She is totally Sung Deok-sun and I loved and envied her for it and reading this makes me miss her a lot!

I am a middle child, too. When I was born my (five years) older sister was allowed by my parents to choose my name. (They were worried she'd be jealous.) We fought all the time. She was my nemesis. I'll only give one example, when I was just over two years old she handed me a snail and told me it was a walnut. So I bit into it. She laughed for YEARS about the green goo that drooled from my mouth. (Luckily I don't remember the actual event--only the telling of it.) It was only after I was grown and went to visit her (in another State) that I realized something. Every one of her friends, and many people at the church she attended knew who I was, my name even. I remarked to my husband, none of my friends now even know I have an older sister. She HAD been jealous. I was younger, cuter, had more friends, and had talents she wished she had. (I had stories and poems published in the newspaper. I could draw.) We are great friends now. (I have always been friends with my younger brothers. How my sister treated me instilled the fierce desire that they wouldn't feel about me like I felt about my sister.) I "hated" her. And I didn't want them to "hate" me. I've come to accept my "middleness." And I love my older sister now. It just took years for us to become friends.

Wow since reply 1988 was a few years ago it didn't cross my mind that it had the most relatable first episode ever. It's never the big things but the small ones thay hurt. I am a middle child, I don't have a brother but a very big part of me consistently wishes I was a boy(maybe that's just a societal issue and what women generally have to face). But yeah to make matters worse, my other sisters have the same star sign and even if I don't believe in astronomy all that much, they are practically the same person and me the other, the one that doesn't fit. Over time yes things have reduced because I have come to realize that parents may have a favorite child but they will still treat all children the same to the best of their abilities. They won't divide the love, maybe yes the oppotunities.

@myrrhl, thank you for writing this lovely piece, and finally delurking. Welcome. And if I could, I would send you your very own special cake to celebrate.

I am also a middle daughter and I was totally hated because I used to be the only one that complained about how almost everything sucked. 😒
Eventually, I realize my parents didn't know what they did getting married at 17 and having children they wouldn't protect.
Nevertheless.... Life didn't hurt so much anymore, because I understood I didn't have a home from the beginning. So, whatever little I have achieve by myself, like universitie degrees, learning foreign l languages, traveling, etc... is all a gift from above, and it had been awesome, because it is all a plus from someone who was born a zero.

Hi, I just wanted to say hang in there~ I am not a middle child but the older sister but your written piece just touched my heart. I could feel your heartfelt emotions as you wrote this. It conjured up the same feelings I had when I watched Deoksun and her dad in the same scene. Thanks for sharing your thoughts~ I really enjoyed reading it and I wanted to say that you're such a great writer! Hope you write more things in the future.