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I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day: Episode 7

Wow does our boy drop the ball this time. Just when it seems like what he’s wanted for so long is within his reach, he retreats to the frustration of our heroine. But her confusion and irritation turn to concern when old patterns resurface for our withdrawn lead, and she may be the only one able to convince him to stop running from the world and start fighting for his own happiness.

 
EPISODE 7: “The Road to the Cabin”

Eun-seob still hasn’t responded to Hae-won’s confession when the lights are brought back up moments later. While everyone else is gathered excitedly in the yard, Hae-won and Eun-seob stand alone, staring at each other. Hae-won repeats her confession now that she can see Eun-seob’s face. After she prompts him to respond, he says, “Okay.” What?! Duuude.

Hae-won has the same reaction and asks in disbelief, “What?” Eun-seob stands there nervously and is saved by Jang-woo’s arrival. Eun-seob rushes to Jang-woo and drags him away, leaving poor Hae-won confused and alone.

Well, not as alone as she thought since Hwi pops out having heard everything. Hwi is horrified that Hae-won likes her brother (and got rejected) and runs off. Oof, can this get any worse for Hae-won?

Hae-won is quiet on the drive back as her friends chat and laugh. She’s so out of it her friend has to yell her name to get her attention. The girls want the scoop on Yeong-woo. How did things go? Hae-won can’t seem to finish her sentences and trails off before she gives a real answer.

At home, she stands and bangs her head against the wall a few times before yanking her shoes off and haphazardly tossing them aside. She barely makes it up the stairs with her confession and his “okay” on repeat in her mind.

The next morning, Hae-won flies out the door to meet Hwi, ignoring Myung-yeo’s demands that she help clean. Hwi sits Hae-won down for a talk and hands her a yogurt. As a self-proclaimed expert in being rejected, she offers some advice. Hae-won didn’t do anything wrong. All she did was be honest about her feelings.

Even if they did do something wrong, would fixing it make their crushes like them back? Being the most beautiful woman in the world wouldn’t make Yeong-soo like her. Hae-won is clinging onto her every word as Hwi passionately argues that the boys are the ones to blame, so forget about that damaged self-esteem and drink your yogurt. Heh.

Jang-woo pulls up during this pep talk and tells Hae-won to get in. She’s the second person he’s recruited to help with event cleanup. Meanwhile, Hwi races over to the bookshop to mess with Eun-seob.

As they’re cleaning up, Ji-yeon asks Jang-woo why Eun-seob doesn’t have a graduation photo. This piques Hae-won’s interest. Jang-woo isn’t sure what was going on that year to make Eun-seob absent so frequently either. And Eun-seob wasn’t in town for three years after that. Hae-won remembers her aunt’s comment about not seeing him around for a few years.

After Eun-seob came back, he completed his military service before opening the bookshop. Jang-woo admits that, despite being good friends, he doesn’t know a lot about Eun-seob. “I don’t know much about things like what he likes, wants and what his dreams are.” That’s kind of sad.

Ji-yeon recalls Eun-seob saying in class, “Nothing is precious to me.” The teacher was incredulous when Eun-seob couldn’t name a single thing he held dear. Um, did no one think to get the child in therapy?

In the present, Ji-yeon comments she always assumed he was just different, but Hae-won looks bothered. Jang-woo notes that the only thing Eun-seob seems attached to is that keychain in his car. When he lost it as a teenager, he ran around like crazy looking for it.

Jang-woo’s comment that it’s from a metalworking class triggers a memory for Hae-won. She suddenly recalls making a keychain that they were supposed to give to the person who would be sitting next to them. Ooh.

Jang-woo tries to rope Ji-yeong and Hae-won into doing more work, but Hae-won abruptly takes off. Then, when Eun-shil (Jang-woo’s school crush) shows up, Jang-woo starts rambling and rushes off to do more cleanup on his own.

We flash back to high school again. Hae-won threw herself into making the keychain after she got a text from her aunt relaying her mom’s request that she stop sending letters. Her friend told her she didn’t need to work so hard—she’d just be giving the keychain to Eun-seob, the person who sits next to her.

After she’d finished it, she passed it to Eun-seob through the window while they were on opposite sides cleaning. Sure enough, it’s the keychain he inscribed with “Goodnight Irene.” Hae-won smiles as she puts the pieces together.

At the bookshop, Eun-seob thinks of Hae-won’s confession as he makes coffee. Right when he heads out to his porch to read, Hae-won comes bounding up. Eun-seob stutters that he thought she wasn’t working today. Hae-won shares that she remembered something and brings up the keychain. “Is that, maybe, the one I gave you?” It’s refreshing how direct she is.

“No, it’s not the one.” Eun-seob! Must you insist on shooting yourself in the foot? Hae-won pushes, but Eun-seob reminds her he never gave the one he made to her. “It’s that one.” *Sigh* Disheartened, Hae-won accepts his explanation. She starts to ask something when none other than Bo-yeong shows up.

Flowers in hand, Bo-yeong asks if she should wait inside, and Eun-seob says yes. Realizing he had planned to meet Bo-yeong, Hae-won hides her disappointment with a smile and tells him to go ahead. Eun-seob looks conflicted as he watches her leave.

Once inside, he hands Bo-yeong the book she came for. She bought the flowers as a gift. He’s obviously distracted and ends up leaving Bo-yeong inside so he can go search for Hae-won. But his mother sees him and enlists his help carrying something to the rink before he can go after Hae-won.

In the city, Jang-woo is waylaid by his colleague who tries to drag him off to a team dinner. Jang-woo already has plans, so he does his best to get out of it. He even claims he became a vegetarian that morning to avoid having to go.

It works, and he’s able to treat Eun-shil and Ji-hyun to a meal like he promised. Jang-woo gets hella awkward when Eun-shil casually asks if he has a girlfriend. He denies it and further denies having had a girlfriend recently.

They start talking about work, and the women accuse him of being a workaholic. He just finished with the event, and now he’s planning another project. Eun-shil smiles as Jang-woo explains that he loves his work since he gets to see people enjoy what he’s created.

Bo-yeong stays at the bookshop reading (and waiting for Eun-seob) until after dark. She’d wanted to buy “Traveling After a Breakup” at Park Hin-dol’s shop, but she found out Eun-seob had bought the only copy. Eun-seob offered to have it delivered to her once he’d checked the price, but she’d quickly said she’d rather come see it herself before buying. Uh-huh, it’s the book you want to see.

They’d agreed she would come Sunday evening. Bo-yeong had stopped him as he left, asking if Hae-won worked weekends. She’d been relieved to find out Hae-won didn’t since she feared things would be awkward.

When Eun-seob gets back, Bo-yeong asks for more details about the book. He looks like he’d rather her leave, but he sits and tells her anyway. It’s about a couple that decides to go separately on the trip they planned before they broke up.

In voiceover, Hae-won reads a message she wrote to advertise the book club on the bookshop’s website. Eun-seob liked it and suggested adding wishes for a good night at the end. That night, as Hae-won lies despondently on her bed, Eun-seob sits alone outside and worries.

At school, Hwi informs Yeong-soo that she officially stopped liking him two days ago and bids him adieu. Ha! He looks peeved and wonders why she stopped liking him. She claims it’s complicated but boils down to her pride. Yeong-soo finds it strange but denies being disappointed. Hwi gets mad when he thanks her and gets her revenge by scaring him to death when she screams for him to move out of her way.

Hae-won gets a call from Eun-seob, who sounds sick, telling her not to come in. He probably won’t be opening the store for a couple days. After they hang up, she lethargically heads back upstairs but changes her mind and goes to the bookshop.

The door is locked when she arrives, and Eun-seob isn’t answering. Hae-won goes back home to unleash her frustrations on the unsuspecting Myung-yeo. Her poor aunt is bewildered when Hae-won, grasping for something to get angry at, randomly asks, “Why do you have a dog?!” How dare she after how sad the family was when they lost Hodu! Oh my gosh, this is great.

Myung-yeo reminds her he’s Hodu’s son. “Do you have to raise it if it’s a son?!” Her mom didn’t even raise her. Well that took a turn. Ha. Next, she goes in on the dog’s stupid name and how even he probably hates it. After screaming about Gunbam’s name some more, she stomps upstairs as her aunt stares in shock.

Meanwhile, Bo-yeong is at the only café in existence doing some work. Ah, so she’s a teacher. A colleague stops by her table and comments on the unique title of the book sitting on the table: “Traveling After a Breakup.”

A sick Eun-seob calls Soo-jung to have her spread the word that the book club is canceled. Soo-jung even calls Myung-yeo, making sure Hae-won knows. Unrelatedly, she tells Myung-yeo that she found out a classmate named Yoon-taek got divorced, but Myung-yeo gets prickly about it. She states it has nothing to do with her and hangs up. The lady doth protest too much.

Eun-seob’s mom stops by the bookshop and discovers he is sick. She orders him to come home with her and berates him for not calling when he’s so ill.

At Hodu house, Hae-won is now channeling her anger into attempting to chop wood. Since anger is now her default emotion, she’s only further incensed (and concerned) when Myung-yeo informs her Eun-seob is sick. After guzzling some water and throwing the bottle on the ground, she marches to the bookshop. It’s still locked.

Hwi is surprised to find a sick Eun-seob sleeping in her room when she gets home. Their mom is frustrated that, like always, he won’t go to a doctor or take any medicine. Hwi argues it’s a pride thing like how their dad won’t ask for directions. Hwi complains that her mom only cares about Eun-seob.

Jong-pil joins his wife who’s brewing some herbal concoction for Eun-seob. Yeo-jung worriedly says she’s reminded of when Eun-seob disappeared for a while. Just like then, he’s refusing to see a doctor or take medicine. She was afraid she’d lost him back then.

Jong-pil cautions her not to try so hard. “He’ll never say what you want to hear.” Eun-seob keeps everything to himself. Yeo-jung argues she doesn’t need to hear it. Hmm…

At breakfast the following morning, Myung-yeo is worried by Hae-won’s continued despondency. She asks if Hae-won is sick, but Hae-won denies it. They eat in silence.

Jang-woo gets a surprise visit from Eun-shil at work. She’s there delivering side dishes for people in the village. She runs through who gets which side dish and is impressed when Jang-woo repeats it all back from memory.

When he tells her he’s taking the afternoon off, Eun-shil gets up close and personal, wondering if he’s sick. All flustered, Jang-woo assures her he’s not sick. Before she leaves, she sweetly warns him of impeding violence should he keep spreading the rumor that she used to have a crush on him.

Still looking a little rough, Eun-seob sits on his parents’ stoop for some fresh air. He closes his eyes and hears a voice call out, “Jin-ho.” He follows the hazy vision of a woman beyond his parents’ gate. No one notices he’s missing until Jang-woo shows up to drop off the side dishes.

Jang-woo goes over to the bookshop and is startled to find Hae-won peeping in the windows beside him. He fills her in on Eun-seob’s disappearance. Hae-won suggests calling, but he left his phone at home. Jang-woo wonders if he could be in the mountains.

Yeo-jung is busy making calls to anyone who might’ve seen Eun-seob, but Hwi thinks it’s useless. He must be in the mountains; that’s where he goes every time he disappears. Even so, Yeo-jung continues making calls and worrying. Hwi argues that he must feel better now, which is why he went. Yeo-jung thinks the family should go searching the mountain for him once Jong-pil gets home.

Yeo-jung flips out when she discovers Jong-pil is out drinking with coworkers and is too drunk to search for Eun-seob. Worried about her mom, Hwi postpones plans with Hyun-ji. Meanwhile, Jang-woo is on the phone with Hae-won, assuring her that Eun-seob will be fine.

Unable to stop worrying, Hae-won suits up and heads to the mountain. She’d found out from Hwi that the cabin is a 30-minute walk down the trail. When Hwi had realized Hae-won was planning to go herself, she tried to dissuade her. Not only is the trail rough, but it could rain which would be dangerous. Hae-won reassured her she wouldn’t go in alone.

As Hae-won treks alone through the woods, we flash back to her conversation with Eun-seob about when her mom used to leave her home alone and how she felt that same anxiety when she couldn’t get ahold of him. We also flash back to the conversation when Eun-seob had noted how some people never share anything and retreat within themselves, embracing their loneliness.

Hae-won makes it to the cabin and sees a light. We see a conversation between them at the bookshop where Hae-won had commented humans are dumber than animals when they like something. Amused, Eun-seob asked if that was in the book she was reading, “White Night” (the Korean translation of “Journey Under the Midnight Sun” by Keigo Higashino).

Annoyed, Hae-won had asserted that humans will continue forward even to their deaths if they like something. “How stupid,” she announced before walking off, making Eun-seob chuckle.

In voiceover, Eun-seob answers that they can just stop liking something then and give up on the happiness it offers. Hae-won searches through the cabin, as Eun-seob’s voiceover continues. Not being happy doesn’t equate to being miserable. You can’t lose what you never had.

Hae-won stands staring at the cabin, willing Eun-seob to appear as he narrates, “You can disappear from that person’s side forever.”

 
COMMENTS

Where the heck did Eun-seob go? I thought for sure he’d be at the cabin. He’s still likely in the woods, but it’ll be hard for anyone to find him if he’s gone too deep. But let’s talk about poor Hae-won for a minute. Not only did she bravely confess her feelings and get that lukewarm “okay” in return, but she even had a witness to that exchange. How horribly embarrassing. But Hwi being supportive and dishing out advice was adorable. I loved her impassioned pep talk about standing tall and moving on. If there’s one person I think will be fine in life, it’s Hwi. She’s got it together better than most adults.

Hae-won cracked me up this episode with all her misplaced anger. I don’t even think she knew who or what exactly she was mad at, but she didn’t let that stop her. She stomped around like an angry teenager whose parents were ruining her life, ugh. When her eyes landed on the dog and she just went off on her aunt for the audacity of raising a dog, I died.

Although it was misdirected, I get her anger. Eun-seob’s response to the whole situation was infuriating. Watching his handling of everything to do with Hae-won was so exasperating. Hae-won was doing all the hard work and giving him every opportunity to be honest. (In the words of Floetry, “All you gotta do is say yes…”) But Eun-seob just had to complicate everything and lie about his feelings so he can … not get what he wants? According to the blog post during the credits, even he couldn’t believe he’d messed things up so badly with that “okay.” I get freezing in the moment, but he didn’t even try to fix things later. I wanted to throttle him when he lied about the keychain. She gave him the perfect do-over, but he bungled that too. Is he so dead set against his own happiness?

I really hope we delve more into his past next episode because not knowing his motivations and reasoning is getting frustrating. He’s gone from mysterious to opaque, and now it’s starting to feel like information is being withheld a hair too long. He’s so closed off, and we have almost no window into his mind. Even Jang-woo, his closest friend, doesn’t know basic stuff about him. That comment Eun-seob made in high school about nothing being precious to him was concerning. Of course, we know he values Hae-won, even if he’s currently sabotaging himself and lying about it. He’s clearly got a lot of emotional baggage, but I’d like to know what it is so I can root for him to overcome it.

That conversation between his parents was interesting. What exactly is it that his mom wants to hear that he’ll never say? I’m becoming more convinced, though, that Eun-seob is adopted or at least he hasn’t always lived with this family. First, we had that picture of him and the man in the woods, and now we see him hallucinating that woman calling out “Jin-ho.” According to his mom, Eun-seob has a pattern of getting sick, refusing medicine and disappearing. Does that mean he also saw this woman and “followed” her the last time he went missing? Maybe he wants to see these visions which is why he won’t take medication. Or he’s just stubborn, like Hwi posits.

One thing I’m not clear on is if the time he went missing for years and the time he got sick and disappeared are the same or two separate occasions. I’d think his dad and sister would be more concerned if he’d disappeared for years the last time he got sick and went missing. Then again, according to Hwi, he wanders off a lot. I guess it’s hard to know when to be concerned with him. It seems like he’s put his family through it over the years. This time, though, he’s also got a determined Hae-won looking for him, and she won’t let him retreat into himself or give up on his own happiness that easily.

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This is why I love this drama. The mystery of not being able to fully guess what some of the characters will do next.

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This episode put me through the wringer. I literally felt a vicious second-hand embarrassment Hae Won. I'm glad for the blog posts at the end that give us more insight into what ES thinks and feels. This episode was really centered around HW's point of view.
I really hope we can get ES's point of view of the situation. I want to know what is making him so afraid of happiness. I think his story is going to be a pitiful one. It has to be something bad. It has totally skewed his world view to make him not to wish for happiness or sadness. Just only being satisfied with existence....

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Hae-won must have the memory of a goldfish. First, she doesn't remember Eun-seob was in their 12th grade class, then she doesn't remember she sat next to him, and now she couldn't even recognize her own keychain in his car? As for Hae-won's misplaced anger, her aunt is a saint.

Thank God Bo-young didn't talk to Hae-won and ignored her presence to make googly eyes at Eun-seob. Gag.

Jang-woo's crush on Eun-shil is adorable. How cute was he nudging Ji-yeon to call her "friends" to help, even better if it is one of her close, pretty friends who came all the way here for the reunion, then running away in nervousness as soon as he sees Eun-shil?

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There're moments in life which everyone remembers differently. Sometimes when we talk about something with my sister I don't remember several things because it was good to forget them and the same is happening to her. Even our mom doesn't remember lot of things.

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You are right it happens. I don't remember all of the kids in my class but not remembering the key chain at all seems weird. Seeing it for the first time in his car should have atleast jogged her memory!

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That key chain represented bad news for her that's a signal for brain to forget it as soon as possible.

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I'm thinking they all made the same decoration. She assumed it was the one she gave him because he loves that keychain but he said he made it. It means the wholr class made the same design.

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That's the first thing I thought too!

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Oh right this explains why she forgot it! I did think that Eun Seap making the same keychain and Hye Won believing him was kinda ridiculous! It didn't cross my mind that the whole class made the same design! Thanks:)

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Well, I believe it is the one she gave him, but he is in denial and doesn't want to tell her, just as he just said "It's OK" to her confession.

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@eazal we all believe that😉

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I remember in a class reunion, I was talking about something really funny that happened in English class with two other friends. One of them was the "protagonist" and she said she couldn't remember what I was talking about. I was shocked, and then the other said the vaguely remembered it... So... I guess it happens...

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Yupp! It happens more often than we like to believe.

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I don't blame her. I tried putting myself in her shoes and tried to remember what I made in woodwork class 10 years ago (I HAD a woodwork class 10 yrs ago, I actually did!) and I couldn't remember. So yeah.

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To add to what everyone is saying. It isn't like she had a crush on him. All of the things associated with him were not really important at that time in her life. She gave him the metalwork because that was the assignment, not because of any special feeling behind it. I bet she remembers things with her friends and stuff with the other guy( blanking on his name) because they affected her. It is perfectly reasonable that she forgot to me.

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I actually had this happen to me, in a way. I was in a singing group in high school, and I was really busy - lots of solos and recording and choreography etc. etc.. About 5 years later someone came up to me and said they had been in the group with me and commented on something I had helped them with and I honestly could not even remember them, much less the event. I had just been so busy with my own tasks and issues, it was all a blur.

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It sounds like you are a good person. Even busy, you still helped someone and don't remember, that is awesome!!❤️

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I am loving this show, but I do think we need to start delving into Eun Soeb's past. The not knowing is making it hard to understand his motivation especially when it seems to counter what we already know of him. Also, it may help me understand his mother more. I'm having a hard time with the unequal relationship with her children, though I'm sure it comes from wanting to nurture the one who seems more vulnerable.
Poor Chestnut. I think it is a wonderful name for a puppy whose father was named Walnut.

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LOL Chestnut and Walnut. That was meant to be a consolation for the pup?

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I swear that whole time that dog was standing there looking at her with an air of "what's wrong with my name."

I loved how the camera cut to both him and the aunt for the reaction shots, lol.

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It was hilarius!!

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My response to ES's voiceover at the end is just:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Have more thoughts on the structure and where this show is heading but will save it for next recap. Peace.

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Dude, that's just depressing... :'((

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Er... Which part?
To love is to be vulnerable or the alternative?
The alternative is depressing. That's kinda the point.

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I'm just gonna expand upon why I posted this for a minute more, before I go to bed, because otherwise my brain will keep me up thinking about it.

ES says that humans like (or love) to the point of death.
HW says this is stupid.
ES then says that the solution is either to "give up" or "disappear forever".

And it might seem that, logically, HW is right. Why would you like or love something if it causes you pain, even to the point of death. Why would you do that? That's illogical and stupid right?
And yes I will agree that some loves can turn unhealthy and that is when you should let go but that is not, I don't think, what they are referring to here. They are more discussing why love at all, if it will just hurt.

Hence my quote. Lewis counters this point with the idea that to love at all is to be vulnerable.
And that the alternative is true death.
You can forgoe love entirely, yes, you can choose not to love at all, ever, to protect yourself, and that would be logical wouldn't it, because why open yourself up to the possibility of pain? But in doing this, in shutting yourself off, and closing your heart, Lewis says you will unbreakable, impenetrable... Irredeemable even.
I would like to offer an interpretation of this as to mean if you choose to shut yourself off from love entirely you choose more pain than loving would've given you and ultimately you choose death, in the end. The absence of love is not the absence of pain or death.

I personally think both ES and HW have some kind of depression, and although I don't think the show does a very good job of developing their depression, it makes sense for them to come to the conclusions they do; that to isolate oneself is the only way to protect yourself. To just not even dare to go there, because the possibility or being hurt, again, is too high.
This is a natural thought progression for someone dealing with depression, anxiety or similar. You don't want to trust, you don't want to love or be loved, the cost would be too high.

But I think we all know, this is not the answer.
I cannot help but think of in Chase Young Shin in Healer who knows that trusting people might get her hurt again, but that it is in the long run more beneficial to her, brings her more hope and healing than hiding and shutting people out.

ES also says to stop liking or loving something as an option means to give up on the happiness it offers. 
Lewis claims to love is to be vulnerable.

To get better, to love, to be loved, to seek love, or happiness, requires vulnerability, because yes, you might get hurt, and yes it's going to frakking suck for a long time maybe, before you come out of the forest. The world is cruel. You cannot avoid pain. But you can choose to love. And it will be more rewarding in the end.

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P.S. my comment is not a condemnation of them personally (as characters) for having this position, in so much as it as a response to the ideas they're talking about.
I know how hard it is personally to come down from the mountain or get through the forest. That doesn't make what Lewis claims any less true.

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In response to your response - well, not really a response, but a quote that I thought felt right for this show - from Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet:

"I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other."

This sentiment couldn't be more relevant for our two lead characters. Respecting the right for another person to want solitude (not necessarily loneliness) is a form of love too. Of course, I think this holds true for all kinds of bonds, romantic, platonic or otherwise.

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That's a beautiful quote..Thanks for sharing 😀

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The first scene made me laugh so much, between the Eun Seob's Okay and him fleeing and then Hwi's reaction. Poor Hae Won. And poor Aunt who has no clues :p

Now the first part of the drama adressed Hae Won's past, I really need Eun Seob's past now! I like his mother, we can see how she cares about him but in the same time forbidden him to go there doesn't seem to be the solution. She should let him go but imposes some rules.

Seeing ES smiling on this picture made me realize we don't see him like this very often...

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my theory with his past is that he was adopted as achild maybe his birth mother was mom's sister?? and then when he was in high school his father showed and ein-seob disappeared with him...and thats what makes the mom so worried/guilty about that she let those things happen at that time...just a speculation here...but something happened in that time to make him so introverted..

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The awkwardness after the confession was hard to watch, but at the same time great. His expressionsless "Okay", him running away at the first opportunity, Hwi having witnessed the whole thing... I really felt for Hae Won, I think she made the best of the situation by walking into the wall and banging her head repeatedly the minute she came home.
Also it was great to have more of Lee Jae Wook. I am so happy he can showcase more of his range in this, he looked so "pure" (for a lack of a better word) and overwhelmed at the awkward barbecue scene. I am looking forward to see how his part of the story unfolds.

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I loved Hae Won in this ep. Everything she did felt so real and relatable.
Eun Seop, however... he makes me worry. An unhealthy amount.

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I know a person like Eun Seob and people like him do exist and it is extremely difficult for them to trust anyone with their feelings.

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I am not going to lie, I laughed at his "curae." Then he ran away and I laughed even harder. It was so abrupt and such a human response o shock. All your dreams coming true at once, and you don't know what to do so panic sets in and you run away. Poor Hae Won, the type of person she is means she doesn't push, even when she wants too. So that is where her anger comes from, poor thing.

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'forget about that damaged self-esteem and drink your yogurt'
maybe i should put that on a tshirt, is it wrong that i completely get this sentiment.....

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I love how it's so age appropriate. If she were a few years older, it would have been maekju or soju! :-D

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I'm loving this show. It's beautiful, and characters are endearing (except Boyeong, she looks like trouble), and I'm totally shipping Eunseub and Haewon. Plus, my heart just flutters when Seo Kangjoon's face shows up onscreen: that's a pretty dude pretilly filmed.
All of this said, if Haewon was a friend of mine irl, I'd totally advise run as fast as she can... She's got abandonment issues, and falling for a guy with a pattern of flight, ufff, that's bad!

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Pretty dude prettily filmed - indeed!

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Ooh that's a great point about HW s abandonment issues. But isn't it very true to life that people some times seem to seek out partners who seem to be tailor made to trigger their traumas.
Out of all the people in their HS, ES seemed to hav forged an emotional bond (one-sided as it was) with the girl who was known to be from a broken home. May be her issues spoke to his traumas too?

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Agree! That's why I believe this kind of situation would be a trainwreck in real life... at least before a good deal of therapy! (in Dramaland, of course, loves heals all wounds)

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I'm particularly on the same ship, I despise going to see doctors with myself and I'm self-conscious of the reason behind my depressions and don't like to talk about my feelings and don't like to take medication so I can understand people who are the same kind but in written form everything's different, although I haven't written anything for a decade.

There're lots of countries where depression isn't still considered as a serious illness. When we're kids we were bewildered why in western world almost everyone in movies or series was seeing a therapist. I was surprised when I moved to France that here you can get a sick leave for being depressed.

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@kerouregan, I see what you mean, literally every adult around me -family, friends, acquaintances, me included at several points in my life - has at least been to a couple of counselling sessions with a therapist. But I find it normal, it's like going to your family doctor if you have a physical issue. I've also seen how medication sometimes dramatically improves people's lives... All this to say that I'm very much in favor of looking for help! Some people have a tendency to develop diabetes or other physical ailment, and they need to look after themselves in order not to get sick. Others have a bigger chance of developing psychological problems, and for me, those two scenarios are totally equivalent and deserve the same amount of care

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Does anyone know if this novel is translated into English? I wanna read it so bad😭

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I was looking for it but didn't find it but it's translated to philipinian language. But I don't know that one either.

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Thanks! I guess I will be studying Korean🤣

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I really agree with @quirkycase. I do think that HW is the only one who can help ES. He loves her and wants her to be a part of his life but he can’t shake off his beliefs/defense mechanism (probably built as a result of past experiences). You can see this conflict clearly in ES during this episode (and previous episodes). His initial reaction is to protect himself by rejecting HW. Then he runs after her to right whatever damage his initial reaction did and show he cares. I think the rejection gives us an entrance to begin to explore this conflict deeper and unravel his character.

I didn’t realize this earlier but many of his comments and insights towards HW are about loneliness and isolation (think the Wolf’s Silver Eyelash and his comments at the end of this episode – see below) setting up the inner struggle he has to overcome: daring to leave the safety and comfort of isolation/loneliness and be vulnerable even if it is likely that you will get hurt. The show is really realistic in showing that it doesn’t happen at once. He likes her but can’t bring himself to confess. She tells him she likes him and still he can’t bring himself to confess, thus you don’t see the person you’ve always liked and suddenly all your beliefs surrounding loneliness and how to live your life without pain melt away. You don’t start telling yourself other stories. I guess the force of love needs to be strong enough to lure you out of isolation and make you want to take a chance and be vulnerable again.

Just some of ES’ words at the end of the episode:
“Some people never share their worries their entire lives. They build their own cottage inside their hearts and never leave that cottage their entire lives. Even when they feel lonely, they never admit it. Actually, they’d rather dwell in their loneliness. They like being alone more than their families.”

His solution to doing dangerous and stupid things for love:
“then they can stop liking something. They can stop offering their hearts. They can give up on the happiness they’ll gain from liking something since happiness and misery are like two sides of a coin. If you don’t become happy, you won’t become miserable either. If you don’t have something in the first place, you won’t lose it either.”

He is SO describing himself!! I thought @sicarius answer to ES was spot on (and I loved the interpretation). I look forward to discovering why he started to think this way.

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My theory is that ES developed this philosophy of shutting himself off to avoid hurt as a defense mechanism; that early in his life he was hurt by those he trusted the most. For this reason I don't think that his current family is the one he was born into. That picture with the mountain man must be his real dad, the hallucination woman must be his real mom, and they both must have abandoned him at some point. And the words mom is waiting to hear him say? My guess is, "I love you, mom"

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Highlights:
*Lorvved Hae Son's reactions after the confession..Banging head against any given surfaces..Waking up and shuddering all over again at the embarrassment of it all,trying to tak it out on inanimate objects and any familiar living beings around you..I'd say she went through all the requisite beats after your crush thanks you when you say you like them 😅
*Hwi continues to be the adult I want to grow up to be .Letting your crush know you're over them and scaring the bejeesus out of them when they seem to be cool with it. Calling your mother out over her blatan favouritism towards the older sibling. Empathetic enough to talk a fellow crusher(crusher?) through the art of living after a
rejection ..Girl is goals🥰
* JW is another one if my fave humans in the show. The guy's ambitious but so earnest and pure. His crush also seems to be coming around to seeing his stellar qualities.
*ES this episode was just 🤷. We know the dude has issues but at this point we have to play the waiting game to see if the reasons match up with his actions.It's a dangerous choice to let the audience be in the dark about one of the main character's motivations and thought process. We all get that he clearly has trauma and mental health issues..but it was difficult to watch his mother's habitual anxiety and father's quiet resignation and only hav theories about ES back story.

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Thanks @quirkycase.
I agree that the non-revelation of 'whys' and increasing opaqueness of ES is getting to me. The time to reveal and get us viewers on board with rooting for ES was due several minutes before the end of this episode, I felt. I'm going to be quite bitter if anything like this continues into the end of next episode.

So it's more and more likely that ES was a child with a different life from the adult one that we see. He had a different name, different parents and a different home. Why he is the sole 'survivor' of his family is the mystery we want to unlock, and whether that has anything or everything to do with why he can't just react to HW's confession like most guys with their crush.

I like the OSTs, especially the sometimes cheerful, or plaintive, or whimsical and the accordion music. I missed the book club gathering and readings, but at least we had something a bit like a poem in voiceover by HW ... I guess it might have been part of the ad she wrote for the Bookclub?

"The bookshop was warm
and the winter fields in the darkness
filled the grids on the glass door like landscape photos.
Things in darkness were dark,
and shiny things shone more each in their own peaceful way."

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The music is so beautiful. Like the sounds of nature in the next one. It's minimalistic and doesn't disturb the unfolding story.

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I noticed that, too. Just like the story, the music is understated, open to interpretation, giving you lots of breathing space.

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Hae Won and The Sunglasses! I was cracking up.

And I love Hwi. She should have an episode all to herself. Jang Woo too.

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She is following her family tradition there..!!

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I thought that having her wear sunglasses at that point was a brilliant move, because it showed that she was suffering just as her mom and aunt have suffered with disappointments and hurts and wanting to shield an exposed nerve from the world.

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I know..I was initially a bit scared when I saw the infamous Mok family sunglasses..But our girl isn't that far gone (yet?) and went back to looking life straight in the eye..Keep'm shades off Hae Won ah..👍

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I know the "after confession" scene must have been a tense one, but I really loved what the show did and I couldn't stop laughing. HaeWon reaction was so human and what any of us would have done: knocking her head against the wall, waking up in the middle of the night wondering what she did wrong, focusing her anger on others (her aunt, their dog, ohhhh, it was so funny!!).

I hope we learn more about ES's past. We've already learned a lot about HaeWon, not it's EunSeob's turn. As almost everybody has told, it seems he's been adopted before her daughter was born (whether she knows it or not we don't know, but even if she knew I don't think Hwi cares about it).

i

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Also, I want to say something about the light in the bookshop.
I've always said how warm colours are used inside, lights are usually golden when HW and ES are inside.

When BoYoung is waiting for ES at some point she decides to turn on more lights because and when she does, the lights are white / blue - we call those lights in Spanish cold lights. I think it says a lot about Bo Young and how she doesn't belong there.

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I noticed that, too - all of the sudden we see these industrial-strength flourescent light tubes with that blue-white light. I always think of this light as looking really artificial, and BoYoung certainly has that aura, too - her fakey enthusiasm about the book and wanting ES to explain it all to her, her fakey concern about disturbing HW who "hates" her, her makeup and her manners and her oppressive self-absorption. Not a fan of BY, I've run across some people in real life like her.

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Wow.. that's a great catch. Off to rewatch the episode again 😅

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When this post went up, I was thrilled. I can finally say all those things I had to say! Except, words have actually failed - I'm caught between having forgotten and being unable to articulate all the things I had to say. I was going to talk about Jang-woo, for instance, and about how the introduction of Eun-shil brings so much to his character. But instead I'll just say that I love him.
Honestly, the ending of this episode just took my breath away. Eun-seob is just... me. He's that part of me, and maybe you, tortured by missed opportunities and a lack of social sensitivities but equally unable to just break out of his own head and connect with people. I just love him. I love him, and I want to hug him until his poor heart heals.

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Thanks for making this post @frabbycrabsis..The last sentences about ES are so raw and beautifully put. 🥰

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He goes through the motions but he's not living, and the fact he never thought he would hear her say she likes him back. I think Eun Soeb is scared to be happy. He looked like he was going to faint at one point lol. I wanted to shake him a few times when he kept missing his moments to tell her the bloody truth.

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I like we got a little humor despite HW being heartbroken. Poor girl. oh, ES. But I actually can see myself in him. You know you want to do something, but then you whole body is going into fright mode saying you should not do that, you should run away. Remember in middle school I was very unsure on how to approach people. but one day I did go with two classmate to play. But soon after one girl turned around and said to me "you cant play with us". Those word stayed with me for a long time as in my head it clicked that nobody wanted to be friend with me. It hurt because it was just a time when I actually enjoyed being with them. After that I actually was afraid to befriend other people because I was thinking they did not want to be friend with me.
SO what I am trying to say is that that feeling stay for a long time and even though we do not know yet his past history, his feelings is very relatable and I think we now understand them.

Also I have a feeling we gonna learn about his past as HW learn about it. I think it is gonna be a very beautiful moment where he finally tell someone about his past and share his broken heart. I can´t wait for that.

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As much as I was frustrated with how Eunsob responded to Haewon's confession, I'm relieved that it was not out of character. Sometimes when the drama reaches its climax (esp in the romance part) characters act out of line and feels off. ES is so closed off and guarded that he doesn't know how to express himself. He doesn't know how to openly accept romantic affection especially from the girl he's been in love with for a very long time now. He is a wounded soul with trust issues. That is why his reflex response was to run away and hide himself. He is clearly afraid of getting hurt again. It is very difficult to want something or someone so much and finally have it just to lose it. But someone tell him this: "tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"-ALT

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Also, I forgot to mention the private blog posting. At first I thought it was a nice addition at the end of each episode but now it has become an essential part of the story. It's a lovely way to make us become privy to Eunsob's feelings. It gives viewers an idea of his inner struggle with his feelings and lack of courage to act about it.

E.g. "Irene told me, 'I like you.' I froze in that spot and couldn't say anything. Is this what you call a time that feels like eternity? With those words from her mouth, the whole universe, including me came to a stop. I barely pulled myself together but all I could say was 'Okay'."

Idk about others but this private blog posting has become another thing I look forward to every episode.

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Another private blog post lover hee 🙋. Apart from his voice over monologues during the book clubs, the posts are the only tiny windows we are allowed to peek through ES's mind. I had hoped that this blog post would reveal a bit more about his inner thoughts but his tone was almost making the incidents sound funny/quirky anecdotes(atleast that's how it felt to me) Made me sad that even in his private moments of creative expression,he's not fully opening up to anyone.

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From this episode, I realized that Jang Woo is a bit like Eun Seob in that they both become awkward around their crushes. Crushes from way back in high school. Jang Woo is friendly and talkative with a natural air of confidence. So it was endearing and a little surprising to see him become shy. I'm glad he has a separate loveline. Hope it works out. ^^

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Ikr? He's awkwardly cute too! I think it's because of LJW's charm. Lol

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