Social Distancing Log, Day 4: I used to be worried I was turning into my parents when I started watching the news regularly and thinking broccoli would be a really great side to my dinner. I see now my previous fears were misplaced. This crisis has taught me that only now have I truly turned into my parents. (See Exhibit A, “conversation with brother” attached.)

I legit just lecture my mother every time we talk on the phone now. I kind of want to go to her house just to sit outside the door and pelt hot cheetos at her whenever she tries to go out. Or maybe I should just slash her tires.



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    Is she obsessed with her breaks? Lol.

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    I’ve decided it’s probably easier to herd cats than moms during a pandemic.

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    If you slash her tires she’ll probably call a tow truck to come and tow the car and then go to the mechanics or the tire place and buy new tires. That is SO MANY social interactions.
    Throw the cheetohs at her.

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      You make a good point. The main problem with the cheetos is that if I throw them at her she’ll make some remark about “how can you eat that junk” and we’ll argue, she’ll try the hot cheetos, like them, and then steal my stash. She has a hard time understanding the joy of American junk food. Chocolate and candy and baked goods she understands. But she is baffled by oreos and cheetos and the like. If I slash her tires I’ll have to organize getting it fixed and just keep the car away from her. And she has yet to figure out Lyft. So I’ll be good for like three days.

      Also, I feel like this is a waste of cheetos. In these trying times I cannot waste my vices.

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