Get to Know Lord Cobol

Back when DB was running the “Get to Know” series, I couldn’t resist writing up my own version. Time for it to go public, I guess.

Explain your username (and/or avatar).

Avatar was my first cat, the best cat ever. I picked my user name way back in the dial-up modem days for computer game forums, because it matched my career (Cobol programmer) and sounded suitably ominous for those games.

What is the first drama that you watched (or the first drama that made an impression)?

The first one I saw even a little of was Jumong, on TV. Found it channel-surfing near the end of its run, but missed half the remaining episodes because I didn’t know it was two-a-week. The first one I actually saw all of was Princess Ja-myung. Not a great show but good enough to keep me looking for more. I think what hooked me was in Sign when the rookie medical examiner is looking at her first corpse and the veteran trainer says “It’s not like a TV show” according to the subtitles, but in the sound track I could plain-as-day hear “C.S.I.”.

Tell us about a job or two that you’ve had in the past.

Taught English in Taiwan for several years after college. Then came back to the US, job hunted for a while and let someone talk me into taking computer classes. Landed a programming job with my current employer back in 1980. Became dept head in, 1989 – but it was a small dept, just me for a while.

Now I have THE BEST MINIMUM-WAGE JOB IN THE WORLD. I’m part-time, semiretired. The company long-ago got used to me staying late (for computer back-ups) and closing the building, and they don’t want anyone (else) to have to stay late by themselves – especially if they don’t have keys 🙂 So now I come in shortly before normal closing time and sit around until the last actual worker is ready to leave. Meanwhile, I go on the internet for computer news, then other news, then cat pictures & kdrama news. I keep a book at my desk in case I finish the whole internet. Don’t get paid much any more, but I’m paid for doing things I would do anyway 🙂

Have you ever lived a moment that you thought belonged in a drama?

Nope. I’m quite lacking in the amnesia & secret sibling departments — unless I have amnesia and forgot the sibling. Haven’t fallen off a cliff into a river or been framed for murder all week.

People hardly ever put covers on me when I’m asleep. Lucky I’m a big boy and can do that for myself.

What’s your favorite drama that you’ve recapped?

Uh…..

What drama genres do you especially like?

Crime/detective, time-travel/fantasy/sci-fi, action, historical. Especially if they can toss in some comedy. Favorite shows include You From Another Star, Girl K, Master’s Sun, Faith (well, parts of it) and a certain show with mutant offspring. Also anything with Kim So-hyun that doesn’t involve a water monopoly or a mask.

What drama genres do you especially dislike?

Terminal illness. Makjang. Revenge, law or medicine unless they are done really well. Anything that has the determined heroes up against the overwhelmingly powerful baddies who can fabricate evidence and frame people right up until they forget to do that in the final episode. Except I don’t get to the final episode unless they are doing a lot of other things right.

Is there a drama character you’ve ever strongly identified with, and why?

I’m not nearly vain/delusional enough to identify with any lead actors I recall. And I don’t recall any realistic programmers even among supporting actors.

What drama character would you want to be?

Definitely NOT anybody who gets time-traveled back to before modern medicine & dentistry. And not anybody who gets kicked/slapped/bullied.

Maybe some rich guy whose parents & siblings were not evil, and who wasn’t a total jerk himself at the start. And whose life is never in danger. Except I can’t remember any like that.

What was your major in school?

Asian Studies: language & history. Mostly China, some Japan (Korea wasn’t offered). Hence the teaching English in Taiwan. Doing that was pretty standard for people who studied what I did, before we gave up and found jobs that had nothing to do with our degrees.

What’s a random skill you have?

None. My few skills are deliberately acquired, not random. I used to write a mean month-end gross profit report.

Favorite non-Korean movie and/or TV show?

Buffy + Firefly/Serenity. Recently I’ve really enjoyed The Last Kingdom (books and TV series). And I’ve watched most of the NHK taiga-dramas for the last 30 years — I pretend they’re an extension to my Japanese history in college — just like kdramas teach me about Korea and fill in a gap in my education. Well, sort-of. How else would I have learned that Koreans watch C.S.I.?

Which Hallyu celebrity would you actually want to meet and spend an hour with?

Any pretty actress who speaks English and isn’t deadly boring in person. I’m boring enough for two.

Which of the 7 deadly sins would be your undoing? (Pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, or sloth.)

Right now… I’m gonna have to go with sloth. Which goes well with sitting on my ass watching kdramas. As about 99.99% of staff have figured out.

Your favorite drama has an unholy alliance with your most hated drama and produces a mutant baby drama. Describe the plot.

Strange North Korean doctor uses a talisman to time-jump back a few hundred years, thus escaping certain death while falling off a bridge into a river. Since it wasn’t a Korean river, that would have been fatal. Champion scholar Kim Bong-do uses the talisman to go back & forth a few times, they fall in lust, and she poisons everyone who comes between him and supreme power. He decides he doesn’t really need to be loyal to the queen — or go back to the future to be with the ditzy actress.