Just needed to put this somewhere and I feel like DB and Beanies will always be one of the, if not the,safest site and persons to share thoughts with….
a long time fan,more than 10 years for one and about 10 years for the other.member involved and member that got related to the issue are not my biases.but it still hurts like hell, gets me sad, freaking mad and embarrassed, all at the same time.it feels as if a real life friend did this to me.
no matter how i try to wrap my head around it,with tons of stuff at work and in school, i just feel too exhausted.
listening again to their music will be hard,for the more than 10 year group.it’s like one disappointment after another disappointment.
as for the other,he may or may not be involved, but nonetheless, i had hoped he distanced himself, if and/or when he found out about that disgusting info.
but then again,it was him in the situation,not me. i dont know the full extent of the situation qnd i can’t impose on someone else my own standards.
this hiatus feels like a blessing in disguise. me and the members will have our own break.and i hope as i try to be better and improve myself, they will have time to rest and reassess themselves too.
i still pray and continue to for their health and happiness, but now more so that they and i will have peace of mind.
and maybe, down the line, i can find myself enjoying the music again. without second guessing anyone.
Like a real friend? It shouldn’t. It’s just some pop idol.
Think about his possible victims and feel glad he may get punished, not about what you thought you knew about some guy you never got close and only had some superficial information.
I’m sorry but this was unfair. Some people get betrayed by real friends too. However horrible the act might be, and however sorry one feels for the victims, it doesn’t take away from the feeling of betrayal.
Friends can do messy things but it’s ok to feel betrayed because it was a personal relationship. Feeling betrayed because someone thought they really knew a pop idol on a personal level? It’s weird.
It’s not weird, though you’re right in the sense that we’re not being honest with ourselves.
The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols – and you’re forgetting that art is a very powerful thing. K-pop is a visual genre of music + other entertainment. Music alone can be very moving, let alone everything else that comes along with kpop’s music.
I’m not forgetting it. It’s all illusion and k variety does almost nothing but feed this industry, which treats both their idols and their fans in a very unfair manner. The idols can’t have real personal lives and fans are led to believe all kinds of silly things just to make them spend more money. They have to know this. Believing that scheme, comparing their feelings to idols with people that exist in their real lives, saying it’s weird isn’t putting it lightly?
And to add to how much idols interact with fans.
All idols are constantly telling their fans they love them etc. The idol-fan culture in Korea is super tight because it’s true that fans play a huge role in the success of an idol.
Just look at BB for example, since debut they’ve always thanked their fans in SO many ways, have dedicated/written/composed songs for VIPs, have a slogan VIP MADE BIGBANG which is completely accurate. They came from nothing to where they are today AND it’s all thanks to VIPs and both BB and VIPs’ hardwork. During his solo comeback Taeyang had food trucks for all the fans at every music show waiting. Seungri’s slogan, “You’re all my everything, Hyungs are my everything, BIGBANG is my everything.” All the things they do as idols have always been meant to make their fans feel as if they’re too part of this. Their success as a group was our success as well. Heck, to date one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it meant to me, to see him this happy.
Fans feeling hurt and betrayed is completely understandable. Somewhere down the line Seungri threw away “everything” for the money/power trip or for whatever reasons he did what he did. At some point he WILL regret this for the rest of his life, I know it. And it doesn’t matter if he feels actual remorse because what he did is inexcusable. He will have to face the consequences of his actions. And the fact is that he did, in every sense of the word, betray his fans, his family, his loved ones. It’s tragic.
@Lixie
It’s not all illusion. Yes, it is a way of making money but for a lot of idols and fans alike, the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning. The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me. And idols have shown time and again that their fans mean a lot to them. Like for example, EXO’s Chanyeol has the EXO-L birthdate (the day EXO’s fans got their official name) tattooed. Idk why you find it so weird that a lot of fans are feeling betrayed and hurt over this issue. For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime. I’m heartbroken, hurt and feel betrayed over his actions.
You never thought this was just fantasy? I’m sorry but at first it seems like you knew – “Their success as a group was our success as well” I mean when you say this you knew it was a scheme right? But when you say “one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding” it seems like you didn’t?
I think betrayed is such a strong word, that really should only be used for personal relationships and for fans to think they have these with idols is unreasonable, no matter how much said idols pretend they do.
@Lixie
Fantasy? This is real life. VIPs have played the most important role in Bigbang coming from nothing to becoming a global boy group. Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.
Betrayal isn’t a strong enough word to cover how I feel about the Seungri issue. And Seungri did betray everyone with his actions.
You may see it as a money making scheme but for millions of people around the world, including me, it hold A LOT more meaning than that.
When I said illusion I was talking about @greenfields saying “The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols”. I think it’s impossible to disagree with that.
“the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning” Yes, money and success. People should buy and like the work not the artist. The industry wants to sell the package, it’s wrong.
“For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime.” It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.
“Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”
No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.
Guys may I just put it this way? I think Lixie is speaking from a very logical perspective, and your words were words of comfort to Mary. @vipsky4796 , mary above and me too (though I’m less hurt since I don’t really follow any of the idols involved so far), are speaking from a place of emotion. I guess from a logical perspective, the emotional perspective is irrational; and from an emotional perspective, the logical perspective is incomplete.
I personally believe somewhere in the middle of what the two of you say. I don’t think of any idols’ success as my own nor do I think owe me anything, or I owe them anything; but their music reached me at a time when the words of my family and friends couldn’t comfort me; and for that I am immensely grateful to them. It still comforts me, or even just keeps me company when I’m doing a mundane task, or pushes me to do one more round of running or whatever, when I need it to – so I do feel some love and connection. It’s one sided yes, call it a delusional crush T_T.
The idols are dependent on fans, but me as the individual fan doesn’t matter, only the collective of fans does. On the other hand, for us fans, the individual idol does matter. Thus, its definitely a one sided love. T_T
Okay now I need to sleep. Mary *hugs* again and lots of love. Also to Lixie and vipsky! <3 Feel free to differ from my pov.
@Lexie
“It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.” He is actually a real person, and he is a real person for me. I said it before: “The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me.” I’m not saying that I have a personal connection with the people I stan, but they have made an impact on me as idols, and I care about them as a fan. Of course there’s a line, and I’m not saying that I’m gonna cross it or something. How do I explain this? I care about both G-dragon the kpop idol and Kwon Jiyong the actual person, but I do not claim to have a personal connection to the actual person. The only connection I have to him is as a fan and as a fan, he means a lot to me. If he does something wrong, I would naturally feel betrayed.
“No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.” When I say success, I don’t mean success as an individual, I mean success as a fan. What you’re saying is your outlook on it, what I’m saying is mine. It’s actually sad that you chalk up the idol-fan relationship to just this. This might be the correct reasoning for entertainment companies, for them it’s about the money, but that doesn’t hold true for the actual idols. No human being in their right mind would live the lives Kpop idols live for just the money. There’s so much peril to your physical and mental health as a kpop idol. A lot of them aren’t even paid in the beginning. It’s not money that drives idols.
Anyway, it’s your opinion but I think you should accept that I have an opinion on this myself and it’s different from yours. Telling me that I shouldn’t feel how I feel about this is not in your right seeing as you are just a stranger on the internet. It’s not right to invalidate someone’s feelings like this, even if you don’t agree with them.
@lixie
Sorry if I come off as rude, I’m not being rude exactly, it’s just this whole thing is a lot more than a “money making scheme” and it makes me upset when people say its only for the money. @greenfields I agree with you.
You never seem rude to me, I know you have some emotional connection with them so if anyone might seem rude it would be me, thanks for being patient with my comments which I know come from a very logical place as @greenfields aptly put it. I had to find out what stan even means people keep using this as a verb and I thought it was some typo eheheh. It is a thing! But it is a bit controversial because wiki says “The word has been described as a blend of “stalker” and “fan” and I don’t know why anyone would describe themselves like that. Anyway, I think it’s a bit difficult to explain why I’m saying you shouldn’t care about them so much, or at least, not on a personal level and I don’t want to sound bossy or nosy, sorry if it seemed that way. All I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t believe you know them in a personal way and then you would never feel betrayed. Any kpop idol might have a million reasons to join this industry, I’m not judging that, but the industry usually tries to sell them as some product, it wants to falsely give the fans the idea they know them as people, sometimes fans even imagine they are owed that knowledge about their idols’ personal lives, from there they imagine they also know what kind of person they are and suddenly they discover they are wrong, they should question the entire system that led them to these illusions and not only the idol behaving badly. Anyway, I know the kpop industry is part of their culture but it’s something I’d like them to change for the better.
@vipsky4796 “Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”
True. Same as with sports. You can’t help feeling close to a person you have followed and admired for years. It is true that the companies bank on the fans’ feelings and use them for their own profit, but this in no way negates the fans’ true feelings.
Hi Lixie! thank you..and logically I know I shouldn’t feel as personally as this but sometimes the emotional side just “feels”. just thinking about the crimes committed is making me 🤬.
I feel terrible for everyone who feels betrayed. This, too, shall pass, but hopefully everyone involved (even as a bystander) will be stronger and be more ethical, moral, and just better, in the future. Until then, I’m praying for Korea.
Just do what you feel is best for you. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, don’t feel bad about your emotions. Take it one day at a time and it’ll get better.
You voiced my feelings. I’m not sure what to think. Junhyung was the reason I got into Beast and kpop in the first place. I feel like maybe he was trying to seem ‘cool’ to JJY and not create conflict, but like you, I wish he had distanced himself. Only God knows what’s really in his heart and mind, but from his one line that was published from the chat, it seems like he knew. Sigh.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 7:19 AM
Just needed to put this somewhere and I feel like DB and Beanies will always be one of the, if not the,safest site and persons to share thoughts with….
a long time fan,more than 10 years for one and about 10 years for the other.member involved and member that got related to the issue are not my biases.but it still hurts like hell, gets me sad, freaking mad and embarrassed, all at the same time.it feels as if a real life friend did this to me.
no matter how i try to wrap my head around it,with tons of stuff at work and in school, i just feel too exhausted.
listening again to their music will be hard,for the more than 10 year group.it’s like one disappointment after another disappointment.
as for the other,he may or may not be involved, but nonetheless, i had hoped he distanced himself, if and/or when he found out about that disgusting info.
but then again,it was him in the situation,not me. i dont know the full extent of the situation qnd i can’t impose on someone else my own standards.
this hiatus feels like a blessing in disguise. me and the members will have our own break.and i hope as i try to be better and improve myself, they will have time to rest and reassess themselves too.
i still pray and continue to for their health and happiness, but now more so that they and i will have peace of mind.
and maybe, down the line, i can find myself enjoying the music again. without second guessing anyone.
greenfields
March 13, 2019 at 7:38 AM
*hugs* I have little to no words of comfort to offer mary, just *hugs*. I wish I could hug you in person, but the net will have to suffice. So *hugs*
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 2:23 PM
thanks G,always!
another woodalchi nicole recruit
March 13, 2019 at 8:20 AM
big, tight hugs to you <3 <3 <3
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 2:24 PM
🙋♀️ thank you!
loveblossom🌸
March 13, 2019 at 8:42 AM
I also had similar feelings. It sucks, but we’ll get through this. *hugs*
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 2:24 PM
yes we will! thank you
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 9:09 AM
Like a real friend? It shouldn’t. It’s just some pop idol.
Think about his possible victims and feel glad he may get punished, not about what you thought you knew about some guy you never got close and only had some superficial information.
Midnight
March 13, 2019 at 9:42 AM
I’m sorry but this was unfair. Some people get betrayed by real friends too. However horrible the act might be, and however sorry one feels for the victims, it doesn’t take away from the feeling of betrayal.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 9:53 AM
Friends can do messy things but it’s ok to feel betrayed because it was a personal relationship. Feeling betrayed because someone thought they really knew a pop idol on a personal level? It’s weird.
greenfields
March 13, 2019 at 10:01 AM
It’s not weird, though you’re right in the sense that we’re not being honest with ourselves.
The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols – and you’re forgetting that art is a very powerful thing. K-pop is a visual genre of music + other entertainment. Music alone can be very moving, let alone everything else that comes along with kpop’s music.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 10:14 AM
I’m not forgetting it. It’s all illusion and k variety does almost nothing but feed this industry, which treats both their idols and their fans in a very unfair manner. The idols can’t have real personal lives and fans are led to believe all kinds of silly things just to make them spend more money. They have to know this. Believing that scheme, comparing their feelings to idols with people that exist in their real lives, saying it’s weird isn’t putting it lightly?
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 10:20 AM
And to add to how much idols interact with fans.
All idols are constantly telling their fans they love them etc. The idol-fan culture in Korea is super tight because it’s true that fans play a huge role in the success of an idol.
Just look at BB for example, since debut they’ve always thanked their fans in SO many ways, have dedicated/written/composed songs for VIPs, have a slogan VIP MADE BIGBANG which is completely accurate. They came from nothing to where they are today AND it’s all thanks to VIPs and both BB and VIPs’ hardwork. During his solo comeback Taeyang had food trucks for all the fans at every music show waiting. Seungri’s slogan, “You’re all my everything, Hyungs are my everything, BIGBANG is my everything.” All the things they do as idols have always been meant to make their fans feel as if they’re too part of this. Their success as a group was our success as well. Heck, to date one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it meant to me, to see him this happy.
Fans feeling hurt and betrayed is completely understandable. Somewhere down the line Seungri threw away “everything” for the money/power trip or for whatever reasons he did what he did. At some point he WILL regret this for the rest of his life, I know it. And it doesn’t matter if he feels actual remorse because what he did is inexcusable. He will have to face the consequences of his actions. And the fact is that he did, in every sense of the word, betray his fans, his family, his loved ones. It’s tragic.
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 10:37 AM
@Lixie
It’s not all illusion. Yes, it is a way of making money but for a lot of idols and fans alike, the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning. The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me. And idols have shown time and again that their fans mean a lot to them. Like for example, EXO’s Chanyeol has the EXO-L birthdate (the day EXO’s fans got their official name) tattooed. Idk why you find it so weird that a lot of fans are feeling betrayed and hurt over this issue. For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime. I’m heartbroken, hurt and feel betrayed over his actions.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 10:37 AM
@vipsky4796
You never thought this was just fantasy? I’m sorry but at first it seems like you knew – “Their success as a group was our success as well” I mean when you say this you knew it was a scheme right? But when you say “one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding” it seems like you didn’t?
I think betrayed is such a strong word, that really should only be used for personal relationships and for fans to think they have these with idols is unreasonable, no matter how much said idols pretend they do.
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 10:41 AM
@Lixie
Fantasy? This is real life. VIPs have played the most important role in Bigbang coming from nothing to becoming a global boy group. Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.
Betrayal isn’t a strong enough word to cover how I feel about the Seungri issue. And Seungri did betray everyone with his actions.
You may see it as a money making scheme but for millions of people around the world, including me, it hold A LOT more meaning than that.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 11:03 AM
@vipsky4796
When I said illusion I was talking about @greenfields saying “The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols”. I think it’s impossible to disagree with that.
“the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning” Yes, money and success. People should buy and like the work not the artist. The industry wants to sell the package, it’s wrong.
“For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime.” It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 11:07 AM
@vipsky4796
“Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”
No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.
greenfields
March 13, 2019 at 11:28 AM
Guys may I just put it this way? I think Lixie is speaking from a very logical perspective, and your words were words of comfort to Mary. @vipsky4796 , mary above and me too (though I’m less hurt since I don’t really follow any of the idols involved so far), are speaking from a place of emotion. I guess from a logical perspective, the emotional perspective is irrational; and from an emotional perspective, the logical perspective is incomplete.
I personally believe somewhere in the middle of what the two of you say. I don’t think of any idols’ success as my own nor do I think owe me anything, or I owe them anything; but their music reached me at a time when the words of my family and friends couldn’t comfort me; and for that I am immensely grateful to them. It still comforts me, or even just keeps me company when I’m doing a mundane task, or pushes me to do one more round of running or whatever, when I need it to – so I do feel some love and connection. It’s one sided yes, call it a delusional crush T_T.
The idols are dependent on fans, but me as the individual fan doesn’t matter, only the collective of fans does. On the other hand, for us fans, the individual idol does matter. Thus, its definitely a one sided love. T_T
Okay now I need to sleep. Mary *hugs* again and lots of love. Also to Lixie and vipsky! <3 Feel free to differ from my pov.
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 11:46 AM
@Lexie
“It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.” He is actually a real person, and he is a real person for me. I said it before: “The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me.” I’m not saying that I have a personal connection with the people I stan, but they have made an impact on me as idols, and I care about them as a fan. Of course there’s a line, and I’m not saying that I’m gonna cross it or something. How do I explain this? I care about both G-dragon the kpop idol and Kwon Jiyong the actual person, but I do not claim to have a personal connection to the actual person. The only connection I have to him is as a fan and as a fan, he means a lot to me. If he does something wrong, I would naturally feel betrayed.
“No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.” When I say success, I don’t mean success as an individual, I mean success as a fan. What you’re saying is your outlook on it, what I’m saying is mine. It’s actually sad that you chalk up the idol-fan relationship to just this. This might be the correct reasoning for entertainment companies, for them it’s about the money, but that doesn’t hold true for the actual idols. No human being in their right mind would live the lives Kpop idols live for just the money. There’s so much peril to your physical and mental health as a kpop idol. A lot of them aren’t even paid in the beginning. It’s not money that drives idols.
Anyway, it’s your opinion but I think you should accept that I have an opinion on this myself and it’s different from yours. Telling me that I shouldn’t feel how I feel about this is not in your right seeing as you are just a stranger on the internet. It’s not right to invalidate someone’s feelings like this, even if you don’t agree with them.
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 11:52 AM
@lixie
Sorry if I come off as rude, I’m not being rude exactly, it’s just this whole thing is a lot more than a “money making scheme” and it makes me upset when people say its only for the money.
@greenfields I agree with you.
Lixie
March 13, 2019 at 3:26 PM
@vipsky4796
You never seem rude to me, I know you have some emotional connection with them so if anyone might seem rude it would be me, thanks for being patient with my comments which I know come from a very logical place as @greenfields aptly put it. I had to find out what stan even means people keep using this as a verb and I thought it was some typo eheheh. It is a thing! But it is a bit controversial because wiki says “The word has been described as a blend of “stalker” and “fan” and I don’t know why anyone would describe themselves like that. Anyway, I think it’s a bit difficult to explain why I’m saying you shouldn’t care about them so much, or at least, not on a personal level and I don’t want to sound bossy or nosy, sorry if it seemed that way. All I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t believe you know them in a personal way and then you would never feel betrayed. Any kpop idol might have a million reasons to join this industry, I’m not judging that, but the industry usually tries to sell them as some product, it wants to falsely give the fans the idea they know them as people, sometimes fans even imagine they are owed that knowledge about their idols’ personal lives, from there they imagine they also know what kind of person they are and suddenly they discover they are wrong, they should question the entire system that led them to these illusions and not only the idol behaving badly. Anyway, I know the kpop industry is part of their culture but it’s something I’d like them to change for the better.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 4:23 PM
@greenfields thank you *hugs*
Midnight
March 13, 2019 at 11:35 AM
@vipsky4796 “Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”
True. Same as with sports. You can’t help feeling close to a person you have followed and admired for years. It is true that the companies bank on the fans’ feelings and use them for their own profit, but this in no way negates the fans’ true feelings.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 4:21 PM
Hi @midnight thank you,your words are really appreciated.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 2:34 PM
Hi Lixie! thank you..and logically I know I shouldn’t feel as personally as this but sometimes the emotional side just “feels”. just thinking about the crimes committed is making me 🤬.
i understand your point.thank you
Ally
March 13, 2019 at 9:30 AM
I feel terrible for everyone who feels betrayed. This, too, shall pass, but hopefully everyone involved (even as a bystander) will be stronger and be more ethical, moral, and just better, in the future. Until then, I’m praying for Korea.
bam 🐢🐌💖~
March 13, 2019 at 11:10 AM
*prays with you*
Hang in there, @wakimary. *big, tight, squeezy hugs*
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 4:29 PM
Hi @ally-le and @bammsie thank you for your words,love and hugs. And yes, prayers for Korea
Ally
March 13, 2019 at 6:26 PM
And I’m listening to your Spotify playlist, because it’s still awesome.
ST
March 13, 2019 at 9:40 AM
Hang on! *hugs*
Just do what you feel is best for you. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, don’t feel bad about your emotions. Take it one day at a time and it’ll get better.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 4:30 PM
Hi Estee! Thank you and yes,it can be better.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 4:25 PM
@vipsky4796 thank you and lotsa hugs for you too
vipsky
March 13, 2019 at 6:27 PM
*hugs*
blnmom
March 13, 2019 at 6:13 PM
You voiced my feelings. I’m not sure what to think. Junhyung was the reason I got into Beast and kpop in the first place. I feel like maybe he was trying to seem ‘cool’ to JJY and not create conflict, but like you, I wish he had distanced himself. Only God knows what’s really in his heart and mind, but from his one line that was published from the chat, it seems like he knew. Sigh.
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 9:44 PM
*hugs*
natzillagorilla
March 13, 2019 at 6:35 PM
always one message away <3
wakimary
March 13, 2019 at 9:58 PM
always.