I think the saddest part of all this, for me personally, was how, just like Joonha, none of his descendants had happy childhoods. Its a fact that would have pained Joonha to know. Having come from an abusive, abandoned, background himself, he would never have wanted that for his kids. But it ended up happening anyways. He, himself, passed away right when he was starting to become happy & heal all his scars by coming to love & cherish his child, by giving him what he never had. His son grows up without a father, bullied & ostracized because of his disability, & pushed away by his mother. He never receives any care, comfort, or love from her. It makes him grow up alone & filled with resentment & hatred towards his mother. It’s a hard life he had to lead. This also ended up affecting his relationship with his wife & his own son again, who we can guess also hates his father. This was further nailed in by that outburst we saw from Hyeja’s son when he is a teenager. The stuff he said to her in his anger, echoes what Joonha had said he felt like, all those years ago. I feel very strongly about children growing up mistreated by their parents, so all this was really sad for me to see. So many things about his expressions make sense now. Like the way that he would look confused or uncomfortable, every time Hyeja would be nice to him. I had thought that was just because he was trying to hide how much her deliriums were hurting him, but now I realize that that really was because it was all so unfamiliar to him. Because he had never received that warmth from her. It adds yet another layer to that scene where Hyeja comes to his defense, & his dialogue afterwards, that it felt reassuring to have her on his side. It was heartbreaking to see how finding out about the snow clearing, just that one act that showed her care for him, was all he needed to forget all those years of neglect & forgive her. For him to move on. We immediately even see a small change in the way he interacts with his wife. It’s not that I hate Hyeja, but that I don’t agree with her actions. I may even feel disappointed in her a little, because its not like she hadn’t seen how such things affect people through Joonha. But I don’t hate her because she is, after all, human. And humans are deeply emotional beings that make mistakes, & not everyone has the strength to acknowledge & overcome them.
I don’t really have much else to say about this show. All in all, it may not have been a perfect show, but it was still a pretty good show overall. Yes, there are inconsistencies (especially the last 2 eps which felt like a different show that was still just as sad & beautiful), which HAD bothered me in Ep 11, when I realized they were not marks of a genius. However, by the end of Ep 12, I found myself…not caring about them. Because it didn’t matter, truly. It was just not the point of the show. It was not trying to make a statement about the philosophies of reality. The show did what it wanted to do, and told a very daring story that I applaud it for. Besides, when I thought about it, not clearly knowing what was real & what was fantasy even in the end, puts us even more in Hyeja’s shoes, which I like. I also liked that the message of this show was not that Hyeja could only have been happy with Joonha, à la romantic love trumps all. No. But just like what Hyeja narrates in the end, Hyeja was the one who chose to live in guilt, grief, & regret. Which led to her leading a very unhappy life. It was only in the end, when she started losing pieces of herself through her memories, that she learned to live in the moment. Learned to live while thinking of all the things that made her happy.
Finally, the real MVP of this show is the wife for me. She has had to live a very difficult life, working hard & giving love, even when she doesn’t receive it back. I just wanted to give her a big hug, and I hate hugs! I will just imagine that after the end of Ep 12, the husband finally fully opened up his heart to her & gave her all the love that she deserves. They also managed to repair their relationship with their son, & all three of them lived happily ever after.
Bonus:
Aigooo you softies! How could Hyeja have ever made you the villains of her story?!
Your commentary on the sad childhoods really broke my heart. Because you’re right, that is the greatest tragedy of this story–that Hye Ja was the one who helped Joon Ha move on from his miserable past, but could not offer the same to her son. Yes, Joon Ha would have been heartbroken to know that his son did not live a happy life. And I also resent Hye Ja for not realizing that the best way to honor the life Joon Ha lived was to give her son all the love she could not give Joon ha. But also, like you, I understand grief is complex, and I appreciate that she was allowed to be a flawed human being.
I can only hope that this change in the relationship the son had with Hye Ja can be passed along to HIS son, and that they will be able to mend their relationship in the future, and not miss out on any more happy years.
I’m not completely sure the mom was too cold to her son. Yes, we saw glimpses of his childhood with a cold mom. But I think he only saw what he wanted/or was able to see. I don’t think Hye Ja would’ve been cold then all of sudden kinda in her dementia. (Dementia tends to show the most sincere thoughts and habits of a person). I, however, do believe the mom was flawed, but not so completely. And she did feel guilty towards her son, otherwise she wouldn’t have had the imagination sequence of saving him over and over on the bike. I’m also not so sure her son lived a completely sad life. I have nothing to back it up, but I do believe it…. Or im convincing myself this so I dont feel sad. I relate to Hye Ja’s son way too much.
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Kaleidoscopic
March 20, 2019 at 5:20 AM
The Light In Your Eyes Final Thoughts:-
I think the saddest part of all this, for me personally, was how, just like Joonha, none of his descendants had happy childhoods. Its a fact that would have pained Joonha to know. Having come from an abusive, abandoned, background himself, he would never have wanted that for his kids. But it ended up happening anyways. He, himself, passed away right when he was starting to become happy & heal all his scars by coming to love & cherish his child, by giving him what he never had. His son grows up without a father, bullied & ostracized because of his disability, & pushed away by his mother. He never receives any care, comfort, or love from her. It makes him grow up alone & filled with resentment & hatred towards his mother. It’s a hard life he had to lead. This also ended up affecting his relationship with his wife & his own son again, who we can guess also hates his father. This was further nailed in by that outburst we saw from Hyeja’s son when he is a teenager. The stuff he said to her in his anger, echoes what Joonha had said he felt like, all those years ago. I feel very strongly about children growing up mistreated by their parents, so all this was really sad for me to see. So many things about his expressions make sense now. Like the way that he would look confused or uncomfortable, every time Hyeja would be nice to him. I had thought that was just because he was trying to hide how much her deliriums were hurting him, but now I realize that that really was because it was all so unfamiliar to him. Because he had never received that warmth from her. It adds yet another layer to that scene where Hyeja comes to his defense, & his dialogue afterwards, that it felt reassuring to have her on his side. It was heartbreaking to see how finding out about the snow clearing, just that one act that showed her care for him, was all he needed to forget all those years of neglect & forgive her. For him to move on. We immediately even see a small change in the way he interacts with his wife. It’s not that I hate Hyeja, but that I don’t agree with her actions. I may even feel disappointed in her a little, because its not like she hadn’t seen how such things affect people through Joonha. But I don’t hate her because she is, after all, human. And humans are deeply emotional beings that make mistakes, & not everyone has the strength to acknowledge & overcome them.
I don’t really have much else to say about this show. All in all, it may not have been a perfect show, but it was still a pretty good show overall. Yes, there are inconsistencies (especially the last 2 eps which felt like a different show that was still just as sad & beautiful), which HAD bothered me in Ep 11, when I realized they were not marks of a genius. However, by the end of Ep 12, I found myself…not caring about them. Because it didn’t matter, truly. It was just not the point of the show. It was not trying to make a statement about the philosophies of reality. The show did what it wanted to do, and told a very daring story that I applaud it for. Besides, when I thought about it, not clearly knowing what was real & what was fantasy even in the end, puts us even more in Hyeja’s shoes, which I like. I also liked that the message of this show was not that Hyeja could only have been happy with Joonha, à la romantic love trumps all. No. But just like what Hyeja narrates in the end, Hyeja was the one who chose to live in guilt, grief, & regret. Which led to her leading a very unhappy life. It was only in the end, when she started losing pieces of herself through her memories, that she learned to live in the moment. Learned to live while thinking of all the things that made her happy.
Finally, the real MVP of this show is the wife for me. She has had to live a very difficult life, working hard & giving love, even when she doesn’t receive it back. I just wanted to give her a big hug, and I hate hugs! I will just imagine that after the end of Ep 12, the husband finally fully opened up his heart to her & gave her all the love that she deserves. They also managed to repair their relationship with their son, & all three of them lived happily ever after.
Bonus:
Aigooo you softies! How could Hyeja have ever made you the villains of her story?!
Nam Joo-hyuk is Tall
March 20, 2019 at 9:12 AM
Your commentary on the sad childhoods really broke my heart. Because you’re right, that is the greatest tragedy of this story–that Hye Ja was the one who helped Joon Ha move on from his miserable past, but could not offer the same to her son. Yes, Joon Ha would have been heartbroken to know that his son did not live a happy life. And I also resent Hye Ja for not realizing that the best way to honor the life Joon Ha lived was to give her son all the love she could not give Joon ha. But also, like you, I understand grief is complex, and I appreciate that she was allowed to be a flawed human being.
I can only hope that this change in the relationship the son had with Hye Ja can be passed along to HIS son, and that they will be able to mend their relationship in the future, and not miss out on any more happy years.
JustMe
March 20, 2019 at 6:30 PM
I’m not completely sure the mom was too cold to her son. Yes, we saw glimpses of his childhood with a cold mom. But I think he only saw what he wanted/or was able to see. I don’t think Hye Ja would’ve been cold then all of sudden kinda in her dementia. (Dementia tends to show the most sincere thoughts and habits of a person). I, however, do believe the mom was flawed, but not so completely. And she did feel guilty towards her son, otherwise she wouldn’t have had the imagination sequence of saving him over and over on the bike. I’m also not so sure her son lived a completely sad life. I have nothing to back it up, but I do believe it…. Or im convincing myself this so I dont feel sad. I relate to Hye Ja’s son way too much.