I was not an F(x) fan and I haven’t been a Sulli fan for long. I’d just known and liked the members (like Amber and Krystal) individually. The only thing I knew about Sulli was how she was one of the female celebrities that always served as a punching bag for knetz. That alone, coupled with the fact that I thought she was weird made me have some form of respect for her. Cause I know knetz love to pick on people that won’t fit into their stupid narrative. I mean, look at the female celebrities they pick on (IU, Hyuna). And I love weird people! It’s almost always a compliment to be weird.
The more I heard about her through scandals, the more I liked her. I just loved her ‘fuck you’ energy so much. I had to go follow her on Instagram immediately!
Then, there was the variety show, Night of Hate comments. I, and so many people, joked about how she was going to make money off knetz by just existing. To me, it was the biggest ‘fuck you’ energy whether it was intentional or it was just the world doing it on her behalf.
Watching her on the variety show made me love her even more. She didn’t get that much screen time but I thought it was because she was new at hosting. Despite that, I loved how candid she usually was. I just loved how she spoke her thoughts and got irritated on behalf of the other celebrities.
I was slightly disappointed with last week’s episode cause I felt she didn’t talk much but when I saw the preview for next week’s episode, I was so happy. I remember 2 episodes ago, when she talked about how she felt she was usually pretending to be happy. But in the context of the conversation, it didn’t seem out of place.

I just don’t know how to feel. I was hoping it was a lie. I want it all to be a sick joke and lash out at the people spreading false news but it’s real. I can’t stop myself from wanting to cry. I didn’t really know her. I haven’t even been a fan for long. My tears won’t do anything for her or her family and friends. As a fan, I was just hoping this was the beginning for her. I was hoping that now, as she appeared on TV, released an album, and is participating in projects, that things were starting to look up for her.
I wanted her to live a long, fulfilling and happy life despite the constant hate she got. I was looking forward to it. I just think she deserved better. I don’t really know her, I just know what she let us know. But I truly, honestly wished her the best

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