well after my therapy i was forced to realize that im a baby and being in ur 20s sucks and we r all trying i still think ppl r being annoying but tru im selfish also 😞😞😞🙂🙃🙃
i don’t have kids (i want them) but the amount of time women MUST spend on their home and tranquility just by existing. bullshit. i remember reading this NYT thing about mom’s not being able to do all they need to in a day (duh) but what kind of life is that???!?! and men being able to be clueless. i constantly feel a resentment sometimes to my dad lol the first step is admitting it, and a lot of people do, but how does it stop!!
i always think that being selfless is needed but im ready to gut myself atp lmao i feel like in a way trying to give yourself so much is selfish/self preservation it’s like that “put your air mask on first before your kid/someone by you”. the concept of self-care, though been really skewed, has that i think; selfishness as a coping strategy. so you can learn what you need first, learn what to ask for your community, and then be able to lie happily and frolick in the daisies
Find a partner who understands this. Find a partner who advocates for this when you are being too selfless. My husband has pulled me back and allowed me to say no to more work, and takes the kids when he sees me exhausted. And allows me to binge Untamed. Lol.
I’ve heard it said and I agree with this, that you can’t help anyone else when you’re broken/burnt out. I’ve seen this in my own life when I was going through the most difficult time in 2017. I was trying to be everything for everyone while dealing with my own stuff and everyday I felt like I was being pulled apart cell by cell. I broke and at one point thought I’d lost my mind and for a while could help neither my family nor myself. So I do agree that being selfish is sometimes necessary especially as it relates to taking time to take care of your mental health. Had I done that I would have been much healthier and much more effective in helping my family also.
definitely! i’m glad you’re better. this helps me remember what i need to do more. i feel that being pulled apart thing, it’s so lonely sometimes, but a huge part of that is not taking time to help yourself. fostering that is really hard!!!!!
Better now….I had managed without medication for almost 4 years now but I know its time to get help again…scheduled my appoinment…late 20’s in this day snd age is too much I guess in a way
it’s ok! i am on meds, too. maybe you can get off them in a bit, but rn u should need extra help. i’m really glad you knew to get help. that’s pretty big cos ik sometimes it’s easier to just…not. and yea it is 🙁 the burnout, not being sure of your place in the world, feeling disconnected. it’s so weird. i’ve never felt more aware of my existence than i have now hahah
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amara
November 7, 2019 at 3:10 PM
well after my therapy i was forced to realize that im a baby and being in ur 20s sucks and we r all trying i still think ppl r being annoying but tru im selfish also 😞😞😞🙂🙃🙃
LT is Irresistibly Indifferent, Dame Judi
November 7, 2019 at 3:14 PM
Selfishness is underrated as a coping strategy
Discuss
egads aka Dame Maggie
November 7, 2019 at 3:22 PM
Selfishness, especially for women is underrated. Being selfish with how I use my time kept me from going completely mad when raising my children.
Ally
November 7, 2019 at 4:09 PM
Being self-less all the time is the quickest route to burnout and suicide.
amara
November 7, 2019 at 4:33 PM
@egads @leetennant @ally-le
i don’t have kids (i want them) but the amount of time women MUST spend on their home and tranquility just by existing. bullshit. i remember reading this NYT thing about mom’s not being able to do all they need to in a day (duh) but what kind of life is that???!?! and men being able to be clueless. i constantly feel a resentment sometimes to my dad lol the first step is admitting it, and a lot of people do, but how does it stop!!
i always think that being selfless is needed but im ready to gut myself atp lmao i feel like in a way trying to give yourself so much is selfish/self preservation it’s like that “put your air mask on first before your kid/someone by you”. the concept of self-care, though been really skewed, has that i think; selfishness as a coping strategy. so you can learn what you need first, learn what to ask for your community, and then be able to lie happily and frolick in the daisies
too bad LMAO
hope this made sense u___u
egads aka Dame Maggie
November 7, 2019 at 4:39 PM
It made perfect sense, and you recognizing all of this is good.
Ally
November 7, 2019 at 5:07 PM
Find a partner who understands this. Find a partner who advocates for this when you are being too selfless. My husband has pulled me back and allowed me to say no to more work, and takes the kids when he sees me exhausted. And allows me to binge Untamed. Lol.
rue
November 7, 2019 at 4:33 PM
I’ve heard it said and I agree with this, that you can’t help anyone else when you’re broken/burnt out. I’ve seen this in my own life when I was going through the most difficult time in 2017. I was trying to be everything for everyone while dealing with my own stuff and everyday I felt like I was being pulled apart cell by cell. I broke and at one point thought I’d lost my mind and for a while could help neither my family nor myself. So I do agree that being selfish is sometimes necessary especially as it relates to taking time to take care of your mental health. Had I done that I would have been much healthier and much more effective in helping my family also.
amara
November 7, 2019 at 4:36 PM
definitely! i’m glad you’re better. this helps me remember what i need to do more. i feel that being pulled apart thing, it’s so lonely sometimes, but a huge part of that is not taking time to help yourself. fostering that is really hard!!!!!
rue
November 7, 2019 at 4:53 PM
It is hard especially if your love language is Acts of service like mine but I do think starting slowly does help. You’ve got this! 🙂✊
gem28
November 7, 2019 at 3:43 PM
I had a full blown panick attack last night…I can relate
amara
November 7, 2019 at 4:34 PM
i feel like it’s really really hard right now specifically. i hope you feel better soon and get your needs met
gem28
November 7, 2019 at 7:20 PM
Better now….I had managed without medication for almost 4 years now but I know its time to get help again…scheduled my appoinment…late 20’s in this day snd age is too much I guess in a way
amara
November 7, 2019 at 7:28 PM
it’s ok! i am on meds, too. maybe you can get off them in a bit, but rn u should need extra help. i’m really glad you knew to get help. that’s pretty big cos ik sometimes it’s easier to just…not. and yea it is 🙁 the burnout, not being sure of your place in the world, feeling disconnected. it’s so weird. i’ve never felt more aware of my existence than i have now hahah