Ugh! I am so annoyed! I am “in charge” of a meal program at my library. My manager constantly changes various things about the program and tells EVERYONE on staff EXCEPT me that he’s made these stupid changes. I’ve been working for 3 months on making sure communication and procedures are running smoothly between us and the people providing the food. And he just announced in an email (while I’m off sick) that he’s scrapping the ENTIRE project that I’ve been working on. Without telling me first so that I’ll be prepared. And THEN he sent out the agenda for out staff meeting and once again without telling me he’s setting aside a chunk of time to “address issues with our meal program”. Last month he told me–in front of a colleague who is neither a manager or from HR–that if I made another mistake he would fire me. I had NEVER been so humiliated before. So I honestly, like HONESTLY think that he’s doing these things on purpose to run me out of the library or get me to quit. Even, ok, our security doesn’t technically work for the library so she doesn’t have a library email or anything. Two weeks ago he announced that he was taking everyone to dinner. He went and spoke to every single person EXCEPT ME to invite them, and then sent an email “in case he missed anyone” (there are only 5 people on our staff, btw). And then the next week he printed off menus of the restaurants he was considering. Once again, walked around to every person EXCEPT ME and gave them menus, asked their opinion. Our security guard, who does not have a library email but is coming to the dinner, was the ONLY person who asked me if I was coming. I like this library and this library system but I think that I dont fit in with this staff. All 3 of the women that Im supposed to supervise all have management ambitions. I have somehow become a manager with NO management ambitions and have nothing but resentment for the position I find myself in. And even though I’m trying to rise to the position, its a rough road. Especially with 3 judgy people watching (and tattling) my every move with noses in the air as they say what they would have done had they been in charge. And which I have to try not to roll my eyes and bite my tongue because 9 times out of 10? The solution that they so snootily tell me? Wouldn’t have worked. Is bad customer service. Isn’t how you relate to children/teens. Against library policy. Against human decency or is just plain DUMB.
Its depressing and once again makes me wonder if I’m the problem. I’ll stick it out a year. I actually think I can make that here, its only 8 more months. And this library system has TONS of libraries. So, it shouldn’t be too difficult to transfer to a different one in a years time.
I’m so sorry you have to experience this. Hang in there until it gets better and/or until you can transfer. I assume talking to your manager didn’t help?
I actually haven’t tried talking to him about these particular issues. I’ve tried to talk to him about other things and even though he says that he wants/can take criticism whenever I try and bring up a problem with him specifically he just shrugs and says that it–whatever issue I’m bringing up–had to happen that way because he’s the manager and has to make tough calls sometimes. Even if that means undermining and disrespecting staff. He’s told me before that his priorities are 1. the public, 2 the library building, 3 the library policies and 4 the staff.
Thanks, man. How are you doing these days? I think the last time I retreated from the real world and could spend a lot of time on DB you were moving into a new apartment. How are you liking it?
I”m good – just crazy busy with work. Also my laptop crapped out on me so I’ve been posting less and just lurking a bit. New place is great – I have room to breathe and cook and relax. I’ve been watching a lot of bad Hallmark movies on TV – I could get a PhD in made-for-TV Christmas movies, I’ve seen so many. Mostly though, I’m just a bit burned out and tired these days so waiting for a few more days off to catch up on sleep and rest.
How about you? Other than the manager from hell and the stupid minions how is the new gig? (Piece of advice: make a record of all of said manager dude’s bad actions just in case you ever need to back yourself up – like if he fails to tell you important things, record how/when you found out. This way when you try for another branch he can’t use anything against you.)
I rarely say stuff like this because IMO people usually don’t deserve it, but that guy is TERRIBLE. You are definitely not the problem here. Hope it gets better for you soon.
I don’t think he’s terrible, honestly. I think he’s petty and not a very good manager. I think he WANTS to be a good manager but he’s just not there yet. Pettiness and immaturity get in the way. I also know that Im not an easy person to manage. But thank you for saying it. I honestly need to hear that its not me from time to time. A couple of weeks ago two families told me that I have one of the best storytimes that they have ever been to and I dang near burst into tears I needed to hear that badly.
He sounds super petty to me which is not what I want in a manager. The only helpful hint I have is to keep doing the things you know how to do well and maybe encourage people to write down their positive feedback (so you have a copy, the manager has a copy, and HR has a copy). I’ve known wonderful people who “aren’t manageable” who were able to move on to better jobs, or keep the one they had (if they liked it) because they had HR files stuffed with positive feedback from the community (I might’ve been one of them).
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
December 2, 2019 at 3:46 PM
Ugh! I am so annoyed! I am “in charge” of a meal program at my library. My manager constantly changes various things about the program and tells EVERYONE on staff EXCEPT me that he’s made these stupid changes. I’ve been working for 3 months on making sure communication and procedures are running smoothly between us and the people providing the food. And he just announced in an email (while I’m off sick) that he’s scrapping the ENTIRE project that I’ve been working on. Without telling me first so that I’ll be prepared. And THEN he sent out the agenda for out staff meeting and once again without telling me he’s setting aside a chunk of time to “address issues with our meal program”. Last month he told me–in front of a colleague who is neither a manager or from HR–that if I made another mistake he would fire me. I had NEVER been so humiliated before. So I honestly, like HONESTLY think that he’s doing these things on purpose to run me out of the library or get me to quit. Even, ok, our security doesn’t technically work for the library so she doesn’t have a library email or anything. Two weeks ago he announced that he was taking everyone to dinner. He went and spoke to every single person EXCEPT ME to invite them, and then sent an email “in case he missed anyone” (there are only 5 people on our staff, btw). And then the next week he printed off menus of the restaurants he was considering. Once again, walked around to every person EXCEPT ME and gave them menus, asked their opinion. Our security guard, who does not have a library email but is coming to the dinner, was the ONLY person who asked me if I was coming. I like this library and this library system but I think that I dont fit in with this staff. All 3 of the women that Im supposed to supervise all have management ambitions. I have somehow become a manager with NO management ambitions and have nothing but resentment for the position I find myself in. And even though I’m trying to rise to the position, its a rough road. Especially with 3 judgy people watching (and tattling) my every move with noses in the air as they say what they would have done had they been in charge. And which I have to try not to roll my eyes and bite my tongue because 9 times out of 10? The solution that they so snootily tell me? Wouldn’t have worked. Is bad customer service. Isn’t how you relate to children/teens. Against library policy. Against human decency or is just plain DUMB.
Its depressing and once again makes me wonder if I’m the problem. I’ll stick it out a year. I actually think I can make that here, its only 8 more months. And this library system has TONS of libraries. So, it shouldn’t be too difficult to transfer to a different one in a years time.
halfmoon
December 2, 2019 at 5:22 PM
I’m so sorry you have to experience this. Hang in there until it gets better and/or until you can transfer. I assume talking to your manager didn’t help?
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
December 2, 2019 at 9:28 PM
I actually haven’t tried talking to him about these particular issues. I’ve tried to talk to him about other things and even though he says that he wants/can take criticism whenever I try and bring up a problem with him specifically he just shrugs and says that it–whatever issue I’m bringing up–had to happen that way because he’s the manager and has to make tough calls sometimes. Even if that means undermining and disrespecting staff. He’s told me before that his priorities are 1. the public, 2 the library building, 3 the library policies and 4 the staff.
SnarkyJellyfish
December 2, 2019 at 6:32 PM
Sending you good vibes and wishing you luck. Hopefully things will ease up soon.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
December 2, 2019 at 9:28 PM
Thanks, man. How are you doing these days? I think the last time I retreated from the real world and could spend a lot of time on DB you were moving into a new apartment. How are you liking it?
SnarkyJellyfish
December 3, 2019 at 7:59 AM
I”m good – just crazy busy with work. Also my laptop crapped out on me so I’ve been posting less and just lurking a bit. New place is great – I have room to breathe and cook and relax. I’ve been watching a lot of bad Hallmark movies on TV – I could get a PhD in made-for-TV Christmas movies, I’ve seen so many. Mostly though, I’m just a bit burned out and tired these days so waiting for a few more days off to catch up on sleep and rest.
How about you? Other than the manager from hell and the stupid minions how is the new gig? (Piece of advice: make a record of all of said manager dude’s bad actions just in case you ever need to back yourself up – like if he fails to tell you important things, record how/when you found out. This way when you try for another branch he can’t use anything against you.)
blnmom
December 2, 2019 at 9:11 PM
I rarely say stuff like this because IMO people usually don’t deserve it, but that guy is TERRIBLE. You are definitely not the problem here. Hope it gets better for you soon.
isa: I'm not a serial killer I'm just really passionate about things
December 2, 2019 at 9:32 PM
I don’t think he’s terrible, honestly. I think he’s petty and not a very good manager. I think he WANTS to be a good manager but he’s just not there yet. Pettiness and immaturity get in the way. I also know that Im not an easy person to manage. But thank you for saying it. I honestly need to hear that its not me from time to time. A couple of weeks ago two families told me that I have one of the best storytimes that they have ever been to and I dang near burst into tears I needed to hear that badly.
mugyuljoie is preciousss
December 3, 2019 at 2:40 AM
He sounds super petty to me which is not what I want in a manager. The only helpful hint I have is to keep doing the things you know how to do well and maybe encourage people to write down their positive feedback (so you have a copy, the manager has a copy, and HR has a copy). I’ve known wonderful people who “aren’t manageable” who were able to move on to better jobs, or keep the one they had (if they liked it) because they had HR files stuffed with positive feedback from the community (I might’ve been one of them).
moana
December 3, 2019 at 9:20 AM
He sounds horrible, and it sucks to have to work in an environment like that. Your frustration is totally valid.