Beanie level: Eunuch in drag

Waxing poetic about love or happiness or joy is too much of an effort for me this week. Physical pain has drown all such thoughts. The only idea remaining is Let’s get through the day and hope that it will get a bit better tomorrow. And since tomorrow is V-day, my immediate future holds at least some flowers and chocolate. Over and out.

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This one’s for my dad… the man who buys mum tuberoses on every anniversary… the one person who buy me flowers every woman’s day. I miss you extra hard today.
love, february

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Friday groove.

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Moments of joy
First snow
Cherry blossoms
Summer rain
Honeysuckle
Fall leaves on a sunny day
Paper lanterns
Tate modern and oolong cha
Chinese ceramics section at the British museum
Klee
Processions
Charring Cross, 1903
Aquariums
An empty white sand beach and the impossibly blue sea beyond it
Wind in the sails
Picnic in Central Park
Taiyaki
Kimchi jiggae
The smell of freshly baked bread
Tiny hands… tiny feet
A child falling asleep in my arms as I’m reading German kid stories (badly)
Chopin
A white cat
Love, February

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People as books… hiding entire worlds behind the covers… waiting for someone to open us up and see what’s inside.
Love, February

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When I first heard of the Love-February challenge I dismissed it straight off the bat.
Because I thought that someone who is pretty much incapable of love would have nothing to say on the subject.
Turns out that one can spend a whole lot of time thinking about love even without (or is it because of?) not feeling it…Thanks a lot to all the beanies for getting the challenge going. This is much better than therapy! 😛
Love, February
PS: Happy lunar year! 新年快乐! 새해 복 많이 받으세요!

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RiBB1-4: It’s quirky and fun.
When looking at the two of them together I don’t see romantic love, but something deeper than that. Family. The person who will be there at the end of the road. No matter what. And the romance is just a bonus.
This is not a story I’ve seen before. Don’t know where we’re going but I’m in for the ride.

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    Yeah I like their connection but at the same time they are respectful of each other’s space. There is a sense of realness in this drama which I really like.

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    I think he’d given up on anything romantic some time ago, but I see it sparking again for him. She clearly sees him only as her younger brother.

    But I love how open they can be with each other. They say the most thoughtful, real things to eachother and it’s NBD.

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    I am loving the deep connection. It reminds me of Fight My Way or Bottom of the Ninth, Two Outs. The friendship is so deep, and they know each other so well.
    But here, it just seems, more mature, somehow. Like even if they try the romantic relationship and it fails they’ll still be bound together.

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Love like the wind… coming in unexpectedly… turning everything upside down… leaving a path of destruction in its wake.
Because my brain is stuck on a random song from the OST of I will never let you go.
Love, February

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    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 But when you really take a good listen to the lyrics, it’s actually such a sad song the more you get into it ☹️☹️☹️ How are you enjoying the drama so far?? Yay!!! I have another person to gush to about it!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

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      Yes, it is a sad song. But also feels true in a weird way…

      About the show: I love every minute of Buqi and Chen Yu together; only there’s so preciously little of it :(. Eps 20-27 were kind of frustrating for that reason. I remember why I never live watch Chinese shows…

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        Also, here’s my version of the lyrics (in case anyone is curious what this fuss is all about):

        The appearance I was waiting for was hazy
        With my skin I sensed the direction of your flow
        You could actually take away the sunshine
        I blindly followed you until I went overboard
        Like the wind,
        When you’re near, the clouds descend
        You swirl up thousand layers of waves
        I dashed straight into them without hesitation
        Aren’t you just like the wind?
        Rustling as you intrude
        And then you announce the sky has cleared
        As if we’ve never been in love…
        The waning sunset was supposed to ward off thoughts of you
        My senses unable to release their grievance
        Recently my wound hasn’t been growing
        Because I’ve been hiding in a windless place
        You’re like the wind
        Gentle and flowing as I felt about trying to touch you
        Peeling away all my resistance
        Not rushing to ask for my surrender
        Aren’t you just like the wind?
        Rustling as you plunder
        Too bad, I willingly walked into your trap…
        There’s no reason to feel proud about it.
        Like the wind
        You left without a sound
        I like this kind of ending…
        It looks as if we never owed each other anything.

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          “You could actually take away the sunshine”

          Oof!! This is the line that always resonates and stays with me whenever I listen to this song– which is AT LEAST once everyday since beginning this drama, even though this song came into my life way before…

          I always wondered how that process worked: Getting a song that wasn’t orginally an OST, or even an OST meant for the drama to BE IN THE DRAMA and fit so well, too…

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        Yes, it’s definitely a sad song but speaks very true about–what I feel like is– how a lot of people’s love lives are in dramas and in real life T.T

        Yea, but it’ll get better from this upcoming week onward!!! Since secrets and truths have begun to come to light 🙂 Haha Not only are Chinese dramas REALLY good when they’re good, but they’re long which makes the wait from week to week that much more *sigh*

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I am walking on a river bank… all alone… just the flowing water and my thoughts. The sound of steps disturbs the silence and suddenly he is there. That person who feels like home. He smiles and I am filled with warmth and rightness. I smile back.
The sound of the alarm breaks the meeting; he’s back to being just a hazy faceless shape.
But why is it that no real person ever managed to make me feel the same way?
Love, February

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And… it ended. First straight-out romance drama I’ve finished in years. There’s not much left to say except that every minute of Encounter was quality through and through. They knew exactly the story they wanted to tell and they told it to the best of their ability. It wasn’t perfect, but it was consistent in characterization, heartfelt and true to its core; not a story we haven’t heard before, but new in its execution, which was both subtle and clever. I will remember this show fondly for a long time. What I plan to forget quickly is the surprising amount of vitriol in the discussions about it, which almost put me off forums for good. Still, the show was great and I am days away from my very own Caribbean vacation; a cold planter\’s punch later only the good bits will remain.

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    there was something magical in its simplicity and also the Cuba locations added such a dreamy feel to it all <3

    it's the only drama I'm actively watching this winter

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    @Charlie I agree with you. Encounter was a well-told heartfelt story, beautifully realized and acted. I wasn’t planning to watch (as I had just finished another romance and I like to mix it up)…

    However, I do think viewers went in with expectations (kinda like me with MotA) and there’s nothing like bitter fans.

    Have a stellar vacay with lots of 🏝🎣🏄‍♂️🚵‍♂️🎉

    P.S. Don’t desert the forums, I appreciate your opinions!

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    Hugs Charlie, I am glad that you enjoyed it, I really like that show, it was a great show and very well written. I liked how well the writer and actors understood their characters.

    (I also want to forget all the poison people said about this show in discussions and it still makes my blood boil, I don’t understand why people make personal remarks and pass their judgments on other commentators.)

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    Just finished the last episode… yes, the show wasn’t perfect, but, except for a couple of painful ep., gave me hours of joy and the fairytale I needed.
    I was really afraid of a sad ending, but now I can plan a rewatch (like… next week).
    I will give it a 10 on my blog.
    Charlie, I will waiting for you to comment the next recaps. Give this KDrama naive something to think about 🙂

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    Couldn’t agree more with these commments, beautifully said. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the dream-like momentum the whole thing had… but there it is, staring me in the face. Heartfelt and true! All I can add, from a male point of view, is to note the beauty of how Park Bo Gum’s dialogue was always, always perfect. The world would be a much better place if (us) men all behaved like Kim Jin Hyuk did throughout. His thoughtfulness, his empathy, his complete sacrifice to others and his dedication to making life better for those around him in all spheres of his life. He was an endless inspiration to me, and my chief draw for watching the next episode. I can’t imagine this was an easy task to pull off, creating a memorable romantic lead in this dime-a-dozen drama world, but Park Bo Gum’s acting showed genuine tenderness to match the words. This was admirably echoed by Song Hye Kyo’s high wire act of portraying how Cha Soo Hyun deals with the multiple conflicts of interest in her life, all the while as her heart and attitude to life is being melted by Kim Jin Hyuk’s little supernovas. She was never an ice-queen, so her journey through the drama’s run should be applauded for its subtlety and refusal to resort to the theatrics I’ve seen in lesser dramas.

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Encounter #13: Today my mind is spinning around into some unhealthy whirlpools; I am sad and in pain so I could have really used some simple cute fluff… only today is also the day when my private happy pill drama has entered the sad section of the story… Reruns will have to do for now. Not brave enough to see SH cry. A lucky 13 this is not.

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    I knew it would be painful, but I have yet to see it…

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    I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. If you want some sweet simple fluff, maybe try watching To. Jenny. Hope things get better.

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“Just how charitable are you supposed to be when criticizing the views of an opponent?”
https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/03/28/daniel-dennett-rapoport-rules-criticism/
The world would be so much nicer a place if more people thought like Dennett.

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With a new year, a little bit of wisdom came my way. I finally realized that sometimes people talk at you, rather than to you. They don’t want to have a conversation, but say something disagreeable just to get a rise out. And when that happens the best thing to do is nothing.

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    hmm one of my coworkers does this and it’s been driving me insane but I think you hit it right on the nail

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Encounter #11-12: I am happy, and teary eyed, and I really, really love this show. 끝

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Still watching Encounter and Red moon, blue sun and because I am clearly a masochist I’ve also restarted Mother.
It strikes me that all these have one thing in common: it’s the journey, not the destination, that matters. I like watching SH and JH do mundane things together as they learn how to be a couple, I don’t care so much about the killer’s identity but live for the questions the quest for truth and justice brings about; I know we are heading for heartache but can’t miss a single moment of two broken souls finding solace and peace in each other…
I’m surprised how much I’ve changed in my kdrama tastes in the past few years.

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Leveled up!
Is it ok to be sad about it?
I don’t feel much like an eunuch in drag; also I remain very much an idiot, though rarely a noble one.

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So… I’ve caught up on Red moon blue sun; was afraid of the too many spoilers plus I needed some bitterness to compensate for the over-sweet developments in Encounter.
As expected, the EunHo-Aggassi similarity was there for a reason. Still the parallels with Achiara ended up unexpectedly close, at least in the serial killer part of the narrative. I wonder what this means for the personal family history part of the story and GGD.
I found EH’s comment on the luxury of certainty being something reserved to those who haven’t experienced true suffering rather ironic: Red Cry’s vigilante justice failed to be any justice at all precisely because he could not see his victims (Hana’s mother in particular) as people who are themselves suffering. He did what he did with the certainty that he was saving kids and that was all that mattered.

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    Which episode are you watching?
    .
    Unrelated, but umm, it’s ajusshi not agasshi. The latter means young lady!🤗

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      i did mean agasshi: the serial killer character in Achiara, who was also a transvestite hence the nickname.

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        Oooh. Sorry for misunderstanding! I didn’t watch Achiara. Was it a good drama just like this one?

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          Achiara was pretty good, although it would lose in direct comparison to Red moon blue sun. The writing is great, but the execution is a bit clunky, and the main was pretty poorly acted imo. I watched all of it in one sitting a couple of weeks ago because I was so much in awe with the show that i got curious about the other work of the same writer.

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            And now Red moon, Blue sun turned out to be utterly disappointing too! No? I mean, who does this kind of easy-to-catch mysteries anymore? If the red herrings turn out to be NOT red herrings, would you praise the drama for reverse psychology, or would you call it lousy?
            I was pretty pissed off and aghast at the “big” revelation, and I didn’t feel an ounce of anything for Eun-ho anymore because of the execution. Well other than at that “room with a table” memory part.
            This drama could’ve been so much more.
            Don’t you feel the same?

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            @peony
            I did not think the reveal was much of a coup-out. But the spiel of the killer being in the eye of the police in the beginning, then labeled a red herring only to turn out that it was him all along was more effective in Achiara. Because there for a large chunk in the middle of the story the killer was made to look like a really nice guy. Here it did not work as well because I could never warm up to Eun Ho (partly the fault of the writing, partly of the actor – he looks the blank psycho part too well, and there was little nuance in his performance). I don’t feel robbed or disappointed because I was half-expecting it and it made sense. One interesting twist possibly still to come is that Red cry is not a single person, but a shadowy organization and if the death of it’s original founder and initial members did not stop the killing, I doubt EunHo’s death will. And there’s still a lot to learn about the girl in the green dress and all those family secrets. What I should say, based on Achiara, is that even when what seemed to be the biggest secret was revealed, nothing was ever exactly as it seemed; there were nuances and twists until the very last second. I expect the same here and I’ll tune in again next week for it.

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            The fun thing is, I hate this revelation for the exact teason you do not hate it- that I’ve been expecting it. Yes, it wasn’t executed well enough, and becaused they toyed with us too much on the idea of is-he-or-is-he-not, we ended up having zero time to feel empathy for the character. Just when I started to connect to and pity Eun-ho’s backstory, this happened. Followed with the typical and classical complete voiceover confession by the villain. i expected something more from the drama.
            Judging from what you’ve said about Achiara, seems like I’ll love it more than this. Thanks for the info. 🙂
            Let’s see whether the story redeems itself in the next 3 eps to come. 😉

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    EunHo-Agasshi parallels:
    – both abandoned by their mother
    – both justify their actions positively (giving happiness/ saving children)
    – smart and likable, though also a bit weird
    – good relationship with main female character
    – initially negative, later ambivalent relationship with main cop
    – both kidnap and try to kill heroine

    EunHo’s story was much better rounded in terms of making sense his actions, Agasshi was more likeable in the middle part of the show, making the reveal more shocking. Here I kind of saw it miles away.

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Encounter #10 thoughts
I like that they talk about everything from the extra silly to the most serious. They are so sane and healthy and adorable together
She started dressing more casually and comfortably including at work, warmer colors too, and she picked sth red for the video call. ❤️
JH takes the job of protecting her very seriously. He was really the only person who could convince the owner.
I\’m just happy that they are happy.

PS: As another chronic insomniac I could totally use a human sleeping pill too. 진혁 클론을 보내주십시오.
PPS: I love the epilogue. Trust Cuba to protect the magic of romance all the way.

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    And did you notice the change in their phone communication. With each change in their relationship how they communicate changes and grows as well. I totally understood why Jin hyuk wanted to Facetime at least once a day.

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Following one weird conversation on the \”I am not a flower pot\” thread about the nutritional benefits of kdramas, I decided to start this \’if this kdrama were an ice-cream flavor it would be…\’ thread.

I’ll go first with my current favorite: if Encounter were an ice-cream it would be burnt-honey: the base is a traditional vanilla custard that makes it comfortable and familiar, but then come sophisticated floral and caramel notes from the honey, leaving you with a sensation of magic and wonder. A new staple in my kdrama (and RL) fridge.

What’s yours?

PS: if anyone cares for my really long ramblings on the topic of Encounter here’s the link:
https://forums.soompi.com/en/profile/1058156-charlieblue17/content/

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    O..M..G…. (leaves immediately for the grocery on the hunt for burnt honey ice cream)

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    if Bok-soo’s Revenge were an ice-cream flavor, it would be brownie. You begin eating, expecting it to be bitter, only to find nothing but rich, delightful, perfectly balanced sweetness that keeps you warm and cozy and sated for days.
    Episode 7 was served with a dash of caramel and tbh I can’t get enough!!!

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    I’m gonna cheat a bit because it’s not ice cream, but is a an icy “treat”

    The Undateables is like a Bomb Pop. The bright colors and bold design lure you into thinking you will have a refreshing treat but then it turns out to be too hard and flavorless. You might still eat it, because it’s not offensively bad, but you won’t really enjoy it, and minutes after you’re done it’s completely forgetten.

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    I am picking Rocky Road for MotA; not only is the footing treacherous, it includes everything, plus the kitchen sink

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      I was going to say Just Dance for Rocky Road.

      I can’t help thinking MotA is like an upmarket Vanilla Bean Ice cream made with real vanilla pods and branded with Maggie Bear or someone famous like that. A fancy, ornate label and it’s twice the price of other ice creams. But when you take a bite, you realise it really is just f’ing vanilla.

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      In the name of my new year resolution of trying more new things, I just had a scoop of durian-banana ice-cream. It’s funky and at the very beginning it feels interesting and new; unfortunately, the more you eat it, the weirder it gets; also dull and kind of unpleasant. I think it may fit MoA to a T.

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    Feel Good to Die is ice cream that doesn’t exist.
    Or maybe ice cream that shouldn’t exist. Like brussel sprout ice cream. That is actually not real ice cream. But vegan ice cream that tastes like brussel sprouts. Raw. (TM LS).

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    Because I just mentioned Pretty Noona Who Brought me Disappointment, I will desiginate an icecream for that drama.

    Black Walnut.
    Off brand, with rancid nuts, and was somehow left out in the sun to melt and someone put it in the freezer knowing that no one would know the difference until they got home.
    You buy it and reach for it thinking something simple and tasty. And you open it up, it looks a bit—wrong? Theres freezer burn around the lid, but what the HEY its ice cream! Nuts, ice, cream. It’ll be delicious! And then you bite into a nut that has turned. A nut that has no business being in anyones ice cream. A nut that should have been thrown the f’ out but somehow got made into ice cream anyway. And there’s a used condom in there because whytf not?
    So now, you have no ice cream–and you were really looking forward to that ice cream–and you want to punch everyone in the f’ing eye. But thats not who you are. (and really you dont know who to punch anyway). And you find yourself thining about this ice cream months later–WHERE DID THAT F’ING CONDOM COME FROM? WHY WAS IT IN YOUR ICE CREAM? And you start conocting long-winded theories about the freezer burn, the condom, the rancid nuts.
    You can’t prove any of the theories.
    But somehow making them up make you feel slightly better.
    But still. F that ice cream. F that off brand. F those nuts.
    At least they gave you a condom.

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      You’re listening to “Stand by Your Man” as you try to decide what to do with the carton. Do you contact the company, march in to the store to see the manager and demand a refund, or do you quietly throw it out and pretend nothing happened?

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peaked at one Encounter spoiler and now i can’t wipe the stupid grin off my face…
my doctor (who i am meeting in 25min) will think i have finally gone craycray

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