Beanies, my PI today lectured me for an hour detailing how bad I am at everything and what a disappointment I am..for an hour…I feel my spirit crushed today…pray for me that I don’t give up

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    Fighting!

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    Fighting!

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    Please don’t let one person’s opinion sway you. Fighting!

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    Fighting! Don’t give up.

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    From my experience, it’s not uncommon for PIs to be pretty blunt with their students about their shortcomings. However, scolding a student for an hour is unheard of. Please don’t give up. You’re not supposed to be perfect because otherwise you wouldn’t be a student. You are there to learn and grow, for sure! You can (1) work harder to prove that your PI was wrong, and (2) find support in other sources such as other professors, your friends, lab mates, program director, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! This was my biggest mistake in the first 2 years in grad school. It was only in my third year that I became comfortable with admitting that I was not ok/I didn’t know and needed help. Grad school is stressful for EVERYONE, you’re not alone, and people love to hear that “we’re all in this together”. You’ll be surprised with how much help people are willing to offer when you’re open up about your struggling. Please stay strong!

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      It could be the PI having a bad day. This PI needs some communication skills that direct and help rather than discourage students.

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      Listen, I know I have shortcomings, I am slow and my multitasking needs improvement but he is also burying me in TA work excessively and add to that I have to do courses…I don’t want praises but I certainly don’t deserve him telling me how much I suck for an entire hour….I am new in US…adjusting took a while, summer was hell because how homesick I was…I was finally making progress….now it feels like what for

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        My guess is you’re doing a PhD with some lab work, which was what I experienced myself. I totally feel you, what you’re going through is the first-year dilemma of grad school. I too questioned my life’s choice quite often in my first year and almost got into depression because of imposter syndrome. It will get better with time as you learn how to cope with it (time management is the key!) In the worst case, if you find your PI unbearable, talk to your program director about the option of switching to another group. Several friends in my class did that and they were in much better places afterward. And if this helps you, I’ll tell you my story. I dropped my PhD program after 3 years and graduated with a Master’s. My PI was great and I love my lab mates but I always felt unmotivated while doing research. I tried everything I could to boost my interest in daily lab work but nothing changed. I finally decided that enough is enough and left. I’m now doing another Master’s in a completely different field. My new program includes no lab work, no TA, no PI, only courses that I care and I can’t be happier. Please know that grad school is definitely not for everyone and it’s ok to walk away if you feel like you can’t do it, just make sure to get credited for the time you spend there (like getting a Master’s). Cheers!

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    Hugs

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    Donโ€™t give up!!! Fighting 💪🏻

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