Beanie level: Entertainer-in-training

One Spring Night.
I’m so invested in all the sisters’ story lines. This show is so good. The feels ~ I drown in them, in this.

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    Seo in is wrecking me right now. The entire scene from the Dr’s office to the car.

    Yeah, I would have taken a knife to Shi hoon’s hand at that dinner. He is just scum.

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      Ugh seriously. The actor does a good job – he seems like a complete slime ball. :@

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Search: WWW
Can we talk about how good this show is? Episode 5 was FANTASTIC. The best yet. 😍

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    I’m really trying to wait until tomorrow but your post just made it real hard.

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      It’s worth the wait. But also…this one was really good hahahaha. Good luck hanging in there!

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“Am I being overambitious?”
No seriously, don’t self-reject.

/end of self encouragement posts/

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“Am I being overambitious?”

Don’t self-reject.

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All 3 of the dramas I\’m watching are Wednesday-Thursday dramas. At last, Wednesday, you\’re here. 🀧 I\’ve been waiting for you.

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    I’m still waiting for it. Monday and Tuesdays are boring. 😴

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    I feel your pain; my three are on the wed/thurs schedule as well.
    All that bottled up angst makes for a very cranky drama viewer 😓

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2 Things.

Thing 2.
A small personal achievement. In March 2018, my weight was at least 13 kgs over the maximum it should be, and my period had become irregular. I was feeling heavier and more tired than ever before. My weight had been oscillating between high and low for the the past few years (while also slowly increasing with each upward oscillation) anyway, but this was the highest it had ever been.

And so, it was now or never. Get a better lifestyle and bring that weight down, or live feeling slobby & deal with increasing health problems, forever.

I’m pleased to say that 1 year 3 months later, I’m almost at the – 10 kg mark. (Yay!) Another 3 – 3.5 kgs to go. It’s been a steady decrease, no upward oscillations, the period has long since normalised and I’m pleased as punch. 😊

Now that I’m here, I’m starting to feel more ambitious. Before the oscillations started in my last year of high school, I was as much as 20 kgs lower than my March 2018 weight, at the same height and perfectly healthy. I’m not necessarily increasing the goal from – 13 to – 20 kgs, but I’m curious about how far these healthy habits can take me. I don’t particularly do anything special – I just stopped eating junk food and started exercising occasionally, which is why the progress has been so slow. But I’m losing weight and feeling better generally – all without doing much, so I’m curious about where this will take me.

Nearly at -10 deserves a dance, I think? 😊

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2 Things.

Thing 1.
While many of you like palindromes, I quite like ratios. And so I’ve been keeping an eye on this ratio since I started being active herr around Nov 2017. It was around 1:2.4 then (if I remember right) and I’ve slowly watched it inch towards 1:3. Slowly, painfully. I don’t like decimals, and much prefer whole numbers. 1:something is fine so long as the something is a whole number. 🙄 But I just realised that even if it does eventually reach 1:3, it will be exactly equal only for a minute, before becoming a decimal again. Suddenly my efforts in keeping track of it seem to be wasted. 😥 What is this stupidity.

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With everything that’s happening with YG lately, I just want to take a minute & show my support for one of my favorite groups. (But what does it matter? Oh I was a fooooool..)

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🀧 my 7 loves.

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WWW is so weird. It\’s not getting everything quite right (in fact, I\’m worried about it going quite wrong), but I love it for now nonetheless. It reminds me a bit of Gangnam Beauty, only in how the show tried to take on feminist issues, but didn\’t quite get there. WWW does so more aggressively, with a glaring in-your-face switch in gender hierarchies at the workplace, but again, doesn\’t seem to quite get it right.

So far however, I\’ve loved watching it try. The fantasy world of the show is fun to watch, and even without the feminist take on it, I\’m enjoying the corporate politics, the world of search engines and the questions raised about the influence of what content is made accessible. I like that its making me think about things I hadn\’t thought about earlier, and digest new ideas. Many DB readers may already be familiar with a lot of what is posited in the show, but I sure as heck wasn\’t.

So far I\’m on board. Show, you better not disappoint.

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I..might actually like this? Dream Glow completely went over me but this sounds interesting.

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YG CEO Yang Min-suk has resigned as well. Whoa. An uproar.
Guess the shareholders and investors had had enough.

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For those celebrating Yang Hyun-suk\’s (public) departure from YGE in all capacities, I think it may be too early. A lot depends on what happens hence forth. As the largest shareholder, you have to wonder if he\’s also selling off his shares and to whom? YG\’s share price is falling, the company\’s reputation is in shambles, who wants to buy the shares right now? Yang Hyun-suk is also the founder – his leaving this abruptly puts the company at an even more precarious position. I\’m only guessing here, I\’m no expert, but YG\’s share price will likely only fall tomorrow. It closed at 29,500 KRW today, down ~5% from the previous day.

Remember also his brother Yang Min-suk is still the CEO. Thus, it is perhaps only a lessening of his influence, not a total and abrupt cut.

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    Yeah but yesterday would any of us has expected this news? Tell me honestly were you expecting anything like this?
    Cos a lot of us sure weren’t, so it feels like a small “victory”, even if we know it’s much more complicated than that and may not mean much.
    Do I have any actual idea what’s going on right now and what will happen? Hell no.
    But there’s something to be said that when I got into K-pop three years ago YGEnt was the biggest company in the industry and now the YG is “stepping down”?
    K-pop world feels a long long strange way away right now let me tell you.

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      Yup, I kind of was. I wrote on this for seoulbeats:
      https://seoulbeats.com/2019/06/yg-to-boycott-or-not-to-boycott/

      I didn’t say what the change entails, but if news if Yang Hyun-suk’s personal involvement kept breaking out, it was kind of expected.

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        Ah well. Good for you I guess.
        This probably isn’t necessary, and it’s literally just stream of consciousness in weird prose and you’re probably just gonna go *wtf Sic* but
        Lemme just expand on the context of my pov for a second here ok.

        This is so far removed from me I might as well be watching a television show.
        I haven’t been keeping up with anything in the kpop world for like four months ok.
        Taeil of Block B enlisted the other day. Taeil. Arguably my Block B bias and I didn’t even post anything about it on here! He has a new song out but I didn’t share that either. Have I been following anything other than block B and even then not really???? No.
        Wouldn’t know what SVT is up to. Are they planning a comeback? No idea. Oh the8 has a song? What. When?
        I haven’t even been listening to Kpop that much.
        I’m honestly so out of the loop and then one evening I accidentally stumble across a beanies post about BI and YG. Eh? What now I think.
        I shouldn’t have even gone looking to be perfectly honest. There’s a reason I avoided TOPs scandal like it was a plague or something back in 2017.
        I don’t like scandals honestly. They’re annoying. What do I care. They just make me anxious for no reason.
        So then I find out about this BI thing. Seems stupid to me. Still seems stupid btw even though I understand other view points.
        I’ve never liked YG ever since I found out he disbanded 2ne1 without actually telling them. The dudes been terrible at management of his groups for like all the years.
        This crumbling of his company or not his company what do I know seems like some kind of inevitable karma and also a joke.
        YG leaving YG ent? Girl you’ve no idea how long I’ve wanted something to knock him down a peg or three! Probably a bit hypocritical of me but oh well.
        So all this drama? Stocks? HSH? Hanbin? Drugs? Hoonie? Shit even Burning Sun?
        Like some beanie said yesterday it really is like a drama.

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        That’s how detached I am from it all.
        It’s like I’m watching the world flash before my eyes.
        I don’t actually care about any of it as much as it might seem.
        I don’t know any of these people. I never will! What they get up to honestly shouldn’t be so interesting to me. I should definitely stop following gossip. There’s a reason I don’t have twitter.
        Why do we even care about Kpop again? I don’t actually know.
        Anyway. This soap opera is amazing and I can’t help react emotionally to it, because it’s just begging to be memed and giffed and joked about honestly, even if I feel like an idiot when I do, because I’m supposed to be rational and a thinker.
        You know I’m not even sure there is anything rational about Kpop. Can you believe I’ve been in this shitshow for three years. Rip me honestly. Feels like three and a half creeving lifetimes
        If I can’t frakking drag anything in this mess of a scandal or industry what is the actual point? Let me throw a party. The end of the world is nigh anyway.
        Let my chaotic neutral ass celebrate because never in a trillion years would I have thought oh yeah YG will step down would actually happen.
        Can we laugh about this please.
        Can’t we just.
        Like the world in my head is too big to try and take everything seriously and I’m dissociating so hard right now you wouldn’t believe. Throw a bleeping party and then burn the house down, and feed the cake to the pigeon. See if I care.

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          Anyway peace out don’t take that seriously I just thought it was amusing and wanted to share.
          Deus Vult πŸ€™🖤

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          Sicarius, I didn’t mean to upset you with what I posted. I’m merely giving a different point of view. Isn’t it also fine if your interest is kind of detached from what’s happening? Part of why I love following kpop is that it’s a small industry operating globally and I’m able to test my views and ideas. Something like energy markets is too large and its consequences – war, international politics etc – too difficult to stomach and predict.

          All this is because I care right now. As you know, I’ve had phases where I didn’t care. I don’t understand you specifically, but I get it generally. So my post was way more general. I came from Twitter to post my thoughts because as you can see from the sb article, I had loads.

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            I should also say your thoughts are always welcome. ^^ I remember you said something similar about being removed from these incidents re Zico as well.

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            I’m more less the same, I’m not too attached to any of the groups and mostly follow kpop news to see how industry works, because they are so bad in hiding stuff, maybe because of market size.

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            Nah fam I’m not upset hahaha didn’t want you to read that this way but didn’t know how to put it at the beginning so I was just like WELP GUESS WE’LL JUST GO FOR IT.

            Just like, needed to stream of consciousness for a sec because the world is loosing its mind and so am I it feels like sometimes, and then there’s KPOP! and then sometimes I just feel like I need a whole lot of alcohol and a long long permanent vacation pffff πŸ˜›
            You made the sb article, I wrote this. We cool.

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            Good then. 😊

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    And let’s not pretend that everything that goes down recently in YG is separated incidents, it should be clear right now, that there is very unhealthy work culture, with very casual attitude toward recreational drug use. With all this at hand it’s hard to believe that those caught are the only ones that experimented with drugs. There’ll have to be major management overhaul to expect any changes.

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      YUP! They need to majorly change company policy and approach to a lot of things.

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      And that culture enabled Seungri and Burning Sun. Thinking about the two still angers me to this day. I’m bothered by the prostitution charges also (even involving one of the biggest scums of the earth, Jho Low) and I seriously hope that no trainee is being “sold off”. Add to that the corruption that helped YG’s artists escape a lot of charges.

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    As the largest shareholder, you have to wonder if he\’s also selling off his shares and to whom?

    VERY good point, especially the to whom part.

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      Ikr. I’m sure it hasn’t happened yet, and I don’t even know if it will happen. He founder the company, there is no way he will part with it that easily.

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The shit has hit the fan.

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So I may have watched the latest hour of Angel\’s Last Mission: Love in ~25 mins. A clear sign that the show is not working for me. I want to know what happens, but I can\’t be bothered to see how we got there.

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    I’m actually watching almost all dramas with the speed of 2 minimum 1:25 with no sound for long time because time is precious and sleep as well and there are other passions which after long long hiatus start reappearing.

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    I’ve decided that as a bad tween novel it’s awesome.

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So I never watch dramas in the morning, but today I am. Is that why I\’m seeing things? Search: WWW, could it be? Omo. Is the show really going there? Omo. Omo. Omo. It\’s Pride Month too. Omo.

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    It probably won’t. Just that editing.

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      It was made pretty obvious. I tend to be oblivious to a lot of things … but if even I saw the scene the same way… they should go there and make it a critical part of the plot, such as the news breaking into the real time search words in a morally, legally, challenging manner posing a real crisis for Tammy and Barro. If not, why produce the scene at all?

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    Uh, it better be. They better not be teasing me! Now I’m worried I’m getting confused by Lee Da-hee just having really good chemistry with women.

    Because, no lie, I actually found myself liking the chemistry between Tammy and Scarlet last week and low-key wondered at how great it would have been if this show would go there instead. Obviously, I knew they weren’t, because JKY. But now? Now they better not be Ryan Gold-ing me here. Not after that!

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      I really like Tammy and Morgan together tbh. I kinda just love Tammy as a character in general, but having a handsome younger guy who’s her complete opposite, personality-wise, seems like a smart plot move. It helps that the actors also have good chemistry.

      Now, as for Scarlet, she better be put together with the lady from Unicon (I don’t know her name because I kind of hate her right now and spend most of the time she’s on screen fuming). I think it is strongly suggested that the Unicon lady is gay already. Her relationship with her husband, for instance, suggests they are platonic (in an earlier episode, he said about their relationship, “We’re not like that,” whatever “that” is). Similarly, she has a kind of strange relationship with the male escorts she sees; it looks controlling and asexual from my vantage point, although it might just be that the interactions which we’ve seen so far have occurred in inopportune contexts when the Unicon lady is unhappy).

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    Same. It’s my first time watching a drama in daylight. I also felt that vibe from Scarlett and GaGyung, the lights and music probably did it.

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#6YearsWithBTS

So I’m not one of those fans who love everything their favorite idols do, all the music they put out and all the things they say. I’m critical and sometimes overly negative, and on the other extreme, I sometimes get overly defensive.

But all of this, is to me, real love. I don’t have to love or even like everything about what/the people IRL that I love. Love to me, equals interest and curiosity. I care, so I want to know more. And I want to understand. Therefore I’ll spend hours, days, weeks, months or even years breaking it down. The more I like it, the more my love will grow.

With songs like “Reflection”, “Lie” or “Never Mind” or “Love Myself”, it’s funny how even lyrically, BTS meet my way of doing things. Love even the bad moments, they are what make you, you. This again, is not advice that works for everyone, but funnily, this is my conception of love. And so, over the past year and 8 months of knowing them, I’ve also tried to understand myself, and love myself.

And I’m slowly, ever so slowly, becoming better at it. “You showed me I have reasons I should love myself”. Is so true.

I attribute this to the power of music; and also to the universal theme found in BTS’s music that struck a deep chord with me.

I can’t say it enough. Despite all my criticism and analysis and all these stupid sappy posts, I love you BTS.

*End

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#6YearsWithBTS

As a DNA era ARMY, it’s technically only been 1 year, 8 months for me but So What? Am I Move-ing on from my seven loves onto a different Path? Never (Mind). This may be my First Love but it isn’t built like a House of Cards. It was Serendipity that I came across their songs, and though they are So Far Away, I want to cherish everything I’ve gained.

Love yourself, love myself, peace. 💜

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Wow. At this point, YG. 🀦

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With the end of iKON as we know and love it, I wanted to put up the one song that got me into the group. Adore You. The sweet song + Junhoe’s vocals was the start. What a foolish way to end.

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