hellooo my lovely beanies….
this time i need your help in understanding a very basic (and overrated) concept i.e. “Marriage”.

I went for a trip to many of my relatives and the most talked topic during those meetings were my marriage. As i was being considered as “almost over-age” and “jobless” girl who must get married at the earliest.
I clearly understood everyone’s perception there as they all from typical indian background where Marriage is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing.

But i want to know from this vast world of beanies… what do you all think of marriage ?
Is it the most important thing that i should say yes to ?
or is it really just overrated concept?
or do you think marriage makes life better n happier than being single ?

PS i need some suggestions or soothing words as i am in dillmea and very badly scared of meeting a bad person as husband (as i have a bad luck in meeting good people in my life).

and thanks in advance.

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    I think it depends, if you find someone that you really like and want to spend the rest of your life with, then marry them. But don’t just get married to satisfy your family’s expectations.
    Note: I’m single and don’t plan on getting married.

    9
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    I am married, but I think it’s what you do when you have no other choice. For me, it was either get married or never see each other again.
    We did not have the pressure to get married that you are undergoing. Bottom line: Only get married if you enjoy this person, can’t imagine life without them and you each make the other a better person.
    The thing is, marriage is not just one big ceremony. It is saying yes to being together every single day. That takes trust, respect and hopefully lots of good humor.
    Sorry to go on so long. I hope that this helps.
    Fighting!

    9
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    You have my sympathies, my fellow Indian female who is over 25 and not married. Don’t let their words get to you – you know as well as I do that marriage is not such an easy thing, and comes with many expectations, not only of the husband but also his family. People like you & I, with our more divergent interests, will have a harder time finding a guy who understands.

    7
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    I feel like it will happen when the time is right. I wouldn’t close your mind to meeting new people but I don’t think you should rush into getting married because of your age or relatives.
    Relatives advising you to get married quickly, aren’t the ones who will have to build a life with this person.
    Take your time, figure out what you want to do in your life and what is truly important to you.
    I used the line let’s revisit in 2025 when people kept bringing up marriage. 😂😂

    8
    1

      “Relatives advising you to get married quickly, arenโ€™t the ones who will have to build a life with this person.”

      This! What’s important in a marriage are the two people in it, not anyone else.

      I don’t think it’s overrated but I can see how it isn’t for everyone.

      5
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    I’m in the same situation as you. I’m from culture where marriage is the most important thing especially for women. I’m in my middle of my 30s and not married yet. Not because I am against marriage, I would like to do but just it didn’t happen!.
    I stopped my relatives’s talking by tell them simply this is not their business. You have to be strong with them. I’m independent women working as professor in university and have a good salary. I don’t have compex but this matter. If I met a good man I will marry him. I will not marry just for their satisfying. Fortunately my parents understand this. Of course they wish if I could marry.
    I believe in destiny and let this matter for god. I enjoy my life without worrying about marriage or not because the world fulls with happiness even if you don’t find your other half. Fighting dear!

    6
    1

    Although I can’t give you advice from an Indian or arranged marriage perspective, there are 2 things I’ve learned over the years from observing a multitude of unhealthy/unhappy marriages around me.

    1. Marriage is about a union between two FAMILIES, not just two people. I can’t stress enough how much good it will do to make sure you and your potential spouse are comfortable with each other’s families and are prepared/willing to deal with the respective troubles/burdens each family comes with. So many people end up bringing a lot of unnecessary drama and stress into their married lives because they underestimate the impact their in-laws will have on their lives or go into a marriage with the mindset that they can just ignore their in-laws.

    2. A union of two brokens does not make a whole. If you are marrying someone because you think they will make you happy, then you are marrying them for the wrong reason. How you feel about yourself as a single individual will shape how you feel about yourself in a marriage. In my opinion, a marriage should ideally be between two people that are happy and strong on their own and when combined together become even happier and stronger. I think those are the kinds of marriages that are able to truly last through thick and thin and can bring a unique quality of happiness to a person’s life that they wouldn’t be able to have otherwise.

    8
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      very wise words

      2
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      I really appreciate that you mentioned the compatibility of families. My grandmother lives with us and I know that if you can’t accommodate with your in laws, you can forget a peaceful marriage

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    You know my take on this *Hugs and more Hugs*
    Hope you meet someone so good and deserving of you , you’re a very good and nice person 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

    3
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    I’m an Indian girl who is 17 years of age. I don’t get the complex issues that you are facing right now but I can only tell you what I think of my future.
    I’m about to enter college in less than a year and I probably will have a hard time adjusting. We live with my grandmother and I know for a fact the pressures that Indian women have to face . I’ve seen it happening with my mother (she was a housewife so she had to face an even greater pressure) and I would really advise you not to agree to marriage just because of social pressure because once you do get married, no matter how good he may be, you will have to make adjustments and if the marriage wasn’t your independent decision, you will have an extremely hard time. I also want you to think of what you would regret most: not getting married at the “right time” or spending the rest of your life feeling like you’re stuck somewhere you can’t escape

    1
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      being 17 years of age you are such a mature girl and ur last line gave me so much confidence to think beyond just being married… love you girl….. you made my day… thank you so so much

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        Thank you so much. My friends actually call me the mom of our friend circle. The logic regarding regret was actually planted in my brain by Boys Over Flowers. To this day I take my decisions by thinking of what would be a greater regret

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