I enjoyed last night’s ep 15 of Her Private Life except that, having now gone through the Beanie Fan Wall, I almost feel like I shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as I did, like delayed bitter aftertaste on a great sugar pie.
1) Ryan Gold forgives too quickly. Way too quickly. It’s cute but unnatural, surreal, overly-God-like and not humanly possible, in my opinion. I felt that way when he forgave his birth mum and it became even more unbelievable when he forgave Deok-mi’s mum for abandoning him. It’s not that I want him to be a broken human being, but come on!
2) It’s only today that I realized what Beanies noticed: Deok-mi’s mum should have logically taken the poor child to the police. And then none of this would have happened. Now that I have “seen” this, I can’t “unsee” it, and it’s actually the worst most nonsensical course of action an otherwise reasonably wise character has ever taken.
3) What exactly is the timeline for the death of Doek-mi’s little brother? And why didn’t her mum also give up Eun-gi? He clearly has a parent of his own that she could very easily locate! Why did it make sense to keep him and not an “orphan”?
4) Shi-an’smile creeps me out. A lot.
*sigh*
*putting on thicker lenses, truly intent on enjoying the last episode tonight, in spite of jarring plot grievances*
Bring it on!
#YearEndBeanCount

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    I haven’t seen other comments, but if we’re going to be completely logical, then the boy with the missing mother should have been reported on day 1 or day 2, without giving him up. But this is dramaland…. So often the rules of life are bent to accommodate the plot. Not sure why Deok-mi needed to discover she had a little brother who died, other than to cover her lack of memories of little Ryan.

    It’s not that I didn’t enjoy this episode, but it added very little to the plot, other than to explain who let go of Ryan’s hand, reconcile, and avoid noble idiocy. What’s left for the last ep, other than the big exhibition?

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      Shi an discovering Doek Mi, his sister-in-law, is his biggest fan, as well as the fansite he loves so much?

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      OH ALSO – the two other curators have yet to fall in love. There’s also a potential romance brewing between Eun Gi and the art director second lead lady.

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      you’re right. that dead little brother was really just a device for a memory jog that was brushed over too quickly… poor little dead brother, used just for this.

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    Yes, she definitely should of taken him to the police, but it doesn’t just stop with her.
    Did the orphanage report a missing child? Did his grandfather? Or what ever family was contacted when she was hospitalized? Or his mom when she woke up.
    It is such an odd tacked on story. And then the little brother??? What was that. 😂

    But……I still like it and look forward to today’s ep.

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      😂😂😂😂😂 my reaction is the same as yours. Like, the real mum says she searched everywhere, but did she think to check with the police? Any orphanages in the area? Etc, etc, etc? Yes to the rest of the family. I was laughing as I fast forwarded through most of this nonsense. Now I hope we have lots of cute scenes in the final episode, and that’s that.

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        I think writer could have used more time on this so we could understand it better. But I guess they wanted to stay lighthearted so they fast forward this issues and focus on the romance.

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        They should of showed his mom looking ……but with face blindness from the accident. So she just keeps over looking him.

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          face blindness… whaaaaat?!?! Did I miss something???

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          😂😂😂 a cool way to insert the newest trend in dramaland. I.like it.

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          for real? she had face blindness??? I missed that… and I’m glad, coz the eye rolling would have been painful.

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            No, no face blindness.

            It just pops up in k dramas lately. 2 or 3 within a year I think.
            Just joking that it would of been a funny reason for how she lost her son.

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        I’m just here for the cuteness. the elephant in the room can’t be unseen, so I’m just gonna look around it.

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      cheers to just finishing it!
      I mean, there have been sooo many worst outcomes out there in dramaland. this one can’t be that bad.

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    Ryan Gold is unbelievable. That’s why I’ve never felt him being human inside the beautiful packaging. He’s like a fairytale prince to me. And not even the recent fleshy Disney ones, but the old old Cinderella and Snow White princes that have very little character.

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      oh he was very much human to me!
      until he forgave his birth mum. call me bitter.

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        I liked him in the beginning with the arrogance of an artist, a somewhat culture shocked look on Korea and fan culture, and an open mind on LGBT. But soon the writer simply tried too hard to make him perfect and it backfired a little (maybe a lot) for me.

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          I’m still at the beginning of this show but I had felt exactly what you have written from the beanies’ posts.

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      I have the exact opposite impression. I have this faint memory of him acting like an arrogant jerk in the first few episodes, but then somehow very quickly evolving into an intelligent, warm, thoughtful, funny, creative, and sensitive guy. So much more than looks and style. I really appreciated that they took a character who seemed perfect on the outside, and showed that he was lonely and wounded on the inside.

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        They should have just ditched the wounded story if they want to show him all so positive. Imo the only point of making him wounded was to make Deok Mi seem like his fated savior, but at the end he just healed himself in no time, miraculously, when mom showed up. So the quick brush over this reunion made it seemed his wounds weren’t that deep.

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    Sometimes when I love a show I avoid the beanie wall. I tend to nitpick at illogical stuff myself, but I discovered that if I analyse a kdrama too closely I will enjoy it less. Ignorance is bliss (?)

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      amen!

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      I know what you mean, but somehow I always end up on the Beanie wall. With kdramas to me, it’s just a given that you suspend a LOT of disbelief. They remove me from RL which is what I want…. but sometimes I can’t suspend enough disbelief.
      In this case the backstory of the moms and orphanages and dead little brother was just too much…
      Part of me is wondering if I even want to watch the last episode tonight. Two weeks ago (at ep 12) I would have been fine.
      sigh….
      give me a goofy angel or a faceblind boss for now.

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      Best tactic. On the other hand, I love reading posts about shows I won’t be watching, especially when there are rants left and right! It is very entertaining 😆

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        Hehe, and also reading posts about shows I’ve dropped… like this one. 🙈
        For the record, I didn’t find faults with HPL (up to ep. 8); it just got too romantic and there wasn’t enough fun fangirling for my taste.

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        Sometimes I’ll read posts and recaps about a show I had no intention of watching, and then I become intrigued and start it. But by then I know a lot of what is going to happen, which can ruin the show at times.
        but not always…
        Tonight I’ll start with a mouthy angel and grumpy dancer to start my evening off right.

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          The only show I was tempted to live-watch halfway through its run was Children of Nobody, and for that Lee Yi Kyung screencaps on the fan walls were completely to be blamed.

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            That was a good show from beginning to end! Did you watch it and if so did you like it?

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          I did. LYK was perfect. But live-watching isn’t for me. I got much too excited waiting for the ending and was considerably disappointed.

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    1) I see it a bit differently. First – we are talking about the parents of the woman he full-heartedly loves, and these are people who have been nothing but amazingly kind to him as an adult. Second, the discussion with EG gave him the full context of that decision and he knows that grief does weird things to people. Third, he lived most of his life without the memory of being abandoned. Sure after seeing the painting it temporarily hurt him and gave him nightmares but he is not defined by that event. Now that things are getting good with him finding DM and his family it is a lot easier to be in a forgiving mood, especially since doing anything different would primarily hurt DM… But I would have liked to see him struggle with the decision a tiny bit more too
    2) I agree that a lot of things were weird about the old narrative. My guess is that DM’s mum thought that YJ had been abandoned by his mum – the same way EG was. In not reporting it to the police immediately she was holding on to the hope that YJ’s mum would regret her decision and come back for him the same way EG’s mum did. A paper trail would have made it harder to get him back…
    3) EG had his mum at the time, DM and EG grew up together but his own mum was constantly in the picture as far as I understand from their conversations. She was single and working full time, so not much around but still there; so EG’s mum could take responsibility for him. With one kid in the hospital and the other dead, having another boy to take care of all of a sudden got too much. It was too late to go the legal route and anyways the situation was too fraught for mum to think rationally
    4) not exactly creepy but suspicious – I always think he has a lot of schemes hiding behind that smile… I often wonder what goes through his head.

    Overall: would I have preferred some things to be done differently – yes. Do I still like the show – unapologetically yes.

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      I like your spin on things. I don’t agree with all of it, but I really like your spin on these events. thanks for sharing and yes, let us thrive on with our love for the show, flaws and all !

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        I admit, with dramas like these, I always make the attempt to ‘spin’ things well, rather then nitpick, provided the characters are consistently worth it for me.

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          exactly how I feel about good flawed shows: if the characters are properly fleshed out, logical and consistent in their actions, I’m sold!

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      For the record, EG wasn’t abandoned. His mom was known to return. So your #2 and #3 are conflicting.

      In any case, taking care of a known child is very different than taking care of an unknown child. The part of taking in and abandoning RG are 2 messy steps separately. Simply out of character.

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        there were several conversations (EG-DM, EG-his mum) relatively early on in the series about how EG’s mum tried to abandon him at the maternity but in the end could not go with it partially because DM’s mum intervening. i don’t see any conflict

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          EG’s mom left him to be babysitted. That’s the premise of DM’s mom taking him in. So by that point he was not an abandoned child.

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            I don’t see the conflict: he’s not her child and, according to DM’s dad, mum was so distraught by the death of her youngest son, that she could barely keep it together enough to care for DM. Why, if you are understandably so overwhelmed by the unfortunate events of life, would you have time to take care of another woman’s child when said other woman is clearly available??
            that’s the question.

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            Comment was deleted

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            @kethysk I was speaking of @charlieblue17 ‘s #2 conflicting with her #3, that EG is the same situation as RG in one response then say EG has a mom available in the next response. EG’s mom could have easily been contacted to take him back. Besides this child she has watched since birth like a son. RG was with her a month.

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      I agree with you. Ryan is 33 y/o and we have seen him as someone who is matured and rational. He has already united with his mom, why would he wanna hate the person who abandoned him when he’s 7 when that person was caring for him for a month? Imagine if he was to be left alone at playground? His narrative will be totally different. Plus, that person is his lover’s mom and he’s received so much love from DM. It’s like what he said, 7y/o YJ might be hurting, but 33 y/o YJ doesn’t feel anything about it. He’s moved on from his bad memories.

      Why Deok Mi’s mom didn’t go to police? On the first day, she was sympathetic toward a poor hungry kid being left alone in playground and he claimed that his mom will be back. We can see that DM’s mom is a caring person by the way she’s taking care of EG. She believed that YJ’s mom would pick him up back. A month had passed and when the accident happened, she was in grieve and not in her right mind. Even if she did bring him to the police, the police would ask question on why he’s not been reported missing a month ago? Plus, in her mind, she already believed that YJ’s mom abandoned him which is why the best solution she could think of is putting him at the orphanage.

      Why didn’t DM’s mom abandon EG as well? I remember in the first few episodes, there’s a scene of which EG’s mom did provide financial support to take care of EG. Plus, EG has been with the family since he was a baby. As for YJ, he’s just a child that she knew for a month, so of course the DM’s mom love towards EG is different compared to YJ.

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        Like I said to Charlie, Let’s agree to disagree, but agree to enjoy the show until its very end. lol
        trust me: if YOU find a child abandoned somewhere and DON’T take him to the police, that might spell jail time for you. At least here where I live… just saying.

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          Yup! I get your point on the police report, but I take it as it’s in the 80s, perhaps people back then were not educated or aware of the consequences and took matters into their own hands.

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    I could buy him forgiving DM’s mom given the fact that he is in a much more loved position in his life right now, partially thanks to her daughter, and because he recognized the emotional intent behind her actions and the turmoil the family went through. But this all has to do with the show framing her original action of taking him in as admirable, which it could have definitely been if she’d gone to the police originally before doing so. Still, the way the leads dealt with the situation this episode felt really natural to me, even if how the conflict played out in the past felt unnatural.

    I did like them immediately making amends for past actions, instead of hiding away in shame. That aspect was well-done, and part of why the forgiveness felt earned here, even if the foundation for all this childhood drama is flimsy to the point of wanting to self-edit for the sake of my sanity.

    A lot of rom-com OTPs haven’t gotten me through to the last episode lately so I’m grateful to HPL for that, even if I wish it could have been better overall.

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    It is the actor! His smile was VERY creepy in Hwayugi too! I never could decide if it was intentional or not!

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      thank you! I just couldn’t be the only one who didn’t like his smile!
      (poor guy… this is someone’s beloved child we’re criticizing here… lol… still…)

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        Yeah I feel sorry 😅
        It is probably bad, awkward acting. I have always felt uninterested in young actors in cool sophisticated roles. It’s like the inexperience shows through a lot more. Then the minute they get a goofy, dorky, or shy role I start to see their true potential.

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