Beanie level: Rooftop room dweller

Currently learning Excel and practicing with my monthly spending and looking at your spending, especially on food deliver, really does make it sink in

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Lovely Runner is all the cuteness I needed to survive this weird time limbo I am in. It brings back all the feels that I love about K-dramas

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    Ikr all the feels and the squeals.

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    All of them and more! Adorable!

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      Also a lot of secondhand embarrassment.

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        Really? I like it a lot so far and I am not usually into time travel high school stories. I wonder where you felt the embarrassment.

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          When future-Sol watched the video that 19-y. o.-Sol made for Tae-Sung. I was cringing and laughing.

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            Oh, yes, I did the same thing. 🤣 That was hilarious! I have of few of those past cringe moments myself.

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            It reminds me of those moments when i get a sudden memory of something I said or thought of as a kid and it makes me cringe so hard

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It is here and I am very excited for it. The all female cast in Bollywood is so rare and along with its subject matter, I am very curious to see how the makers deal with it

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The way I feel this song to my bones, having seen this story play around so many women in my life

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I started watching Shogun and my god is it so good. The best part about it is probably is its authenticity. It looks like the makers genuinely involved and respected Japanese professionals

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    There are a lot of interviews with the creators about how much they wanted to get the depictions of Japanese life in that time period correct, as well as recenter the narrative away from the original material’s “white savior” perspective. I’m glad to see their efforts paid off and the show is getting critical and popular acclaim.

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      As an Indian, I am acutely familiar with the white saviour complex and it has forever annoyed the life out of me. I love that this show is produced by westerners but at the same time they realised their responsibility in representing a culture and took active efforts to employ Japanese people. For me, this is what diversity in TV and film actually mean. Yes, you can make shows that depict a culture that is not your own, but you do need to involve people of that culture for the work to be authentic

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    The costumes are unbelievable! I love it. There’s a lot of background and BTS content about it available on You Tube.

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      Yes, they have their own podcast too. It is so much fun looking at everyone working so hard

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        Last night watching the Stick of Time episode, all I could think of was that these poor actors are always in the rain! It’s always raining! (And, the costumes must weigh a real ton when wet!)

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Beanies I was born in 2002 and I truly think the curse of my generation is having too much information that is floating around, overwhelming you which then makes you resort to social media

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    I feel you on that. We used to be limited to a few books on a topic but now, I don’t know how you guys handle the wall of information available. It would feel overwhelming to me too but I don’t do social media (unless DB counts).

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      And I was born in a generation in the middle between you and Manichan. Our struggle is that we are like a transit generation: having traditional bosses and having subordinates that are so free-spirited.

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        That must really be very frustrating, having the rules flipped on you

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      It is so frustrating sometimes. I am beginning to realise that the ability to disconnect from the social media world is a major life skill

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        I recall the first time some app asked if they could “push” alerts etc to me and I thought – hell no, nobody’s “pushing” me. It’s all about them generating more traffic and therefore making more $ for themselves.

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Recovering from food poisoning is a weird experience. Your appetite and cravings are coming back but the bad experience has left its mark and made you a bit more scared

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    Take it easy, a little bit at a time!

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    I totally know the feeling, Mani ♥️♥️ Take it slow, you really can’t rush it. It took me a month and a half before getting back to a regular diet, and even longer to be less suspect about what foods I could and could eat/what my gut could handle

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    Oh, that’s a bad experience, hope you’re on the mend. I’ve been there and can’t eat a couple of suspect foods to this day. Toast is good to help get back to normal .

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      Same! I just looked over my medical files last week, and I saw that it’s been 10 years since my e.Coli poisoning (the food poisoning experience I mention above)– literally February 2014– and my gut has never been the same. Even to this day 10 years later, there are some foods I can never go back to

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    It’s totally ok to be a bit apprehensive. Take your time. I hope you’re feeling better.

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Beanies how do you deal with family members who simply refuse to listen to what you have to say and are more comfortable simply staying in the problem? How do you ignore them?

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    Through time, I learnt that people never change unless they really want to change themselves, and that doesn’t normally come from people telling them to. Instead, you can do what makes you happy without changing them (trying to make the best out of the situation you’re in knowing you can’t change it)

    For example, they don’t listen to you. Well, people can be wrong sometimes or some most of the time. Just let them say what they want to say without responding knowing that what they say is simply not true. Some are comfortable avoiding dealing with their feelings/problems. You don’t ignore them. You understand that sometimes, people have misconceptions or thoughts or ways to dealing with problems that are different from yours. You don’t have to agree with them, and at the same time you’re not bound to respond to them/contradict them.

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      Thank you M. Its been hard. Its hard balancing your own mental health while looking out for your younger brother. He confessed to me that he has trouble with anxiety and finds himself overthinking way too much and I am trying my best to be supportive but it is exhausting, especially when I know my parents won’t understand

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    Some people are just procrastinators and you have to let them deal with their problems in their own time or when they can feel comfortable dealing with the problem at hand. You have done your part, you can move on feeling comfortable that you have done the right thing. Also, you have to trust them that they will do what is right eventually. Cannot force them your way even if you think your way is the right one. Sometimes, the more you push your way unto them, the more you will have the opposite effect. You have to be hopefull and remain strong and positive. And be patient. That is one thing I learned with my own children, because I was more impulsive and impatient when I was young like them.
    My advice is to keep your mind preocupied with something else so you won’t feel anxious and think about it all the time. Find a hobby, read a book or watch a kdrama. You will see that time is all that it takes for the problem to be solved. And you will spend all that time doing something pleasant for you instead of worrying all the time. Controling your mind and your fears is probably the hardest thing to learn as an adult.

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      Thank you so much for your advice. I will try to incorporate the things that you have suggested. Adulthood seems harder as time goes on and learning to cope with all the stresses and fears seems to be the actual challenge

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        Adulthood is hard and we all have been trying to manage it as best as we can.
        The best conclusion that I have come is that I should focus on things I can control and that started with me and my own thoughts and fears. But that was not as easy for me as for others. When you described what your brother goes through, the anxiety and the overthinking, it is exactly how I was and how my children are. I started to read a lot about it and I found out that meditation helped to quit the mind. When you try to not think about anything, you will see that the mind doesn’t stop and goes on doing its thing. It takes practice to catch that thought, ignore it and quit the mind again. It helped me later to notice when and why I started to get anxious and to learn how to stop it. There are few books, mainly used for sport psychology, that helped me a lot, The chimp paradox and The inner game of tennis. I also blocked for a few months any outside influence that trigered any unecesary anxiety. For me it was the news or movies, anything that tried to influence my thoughts. I remained in the present with real people around me. It was a period of self discovery and I learned how to deal with stress better. But it is something that I work on all the time, it is hard to break old habits.

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          Thank you. I looked up on ways to support people through anxiety and I did advise my brother to give meditating a shot and willing himself to calm down when he feels things are spiralling. I know that is how much I can do, the rest is up to him. I will definitely check out the books you have suggested

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Okay, the one thing I hate is people giving me the silent treatment. If you have a problem with me, say it. Stop giving the silent treatment, especially if you are a 50 year old woman

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So my mom completely blindsided me about something and now I am stressed and upset. I am so absolutely tired of trying to keep it together

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I feel awful these days. Its been a hectic few days due to house renovation and my interview. It feels like i am fraying from the edges and its not a great feeling

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    Oh no. So sorry to hear this. I hope that things will slow down soon so you can regroup and do some self care even if it’s just eating well, sleeping enough, getting some fresh air and some quality down time.

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    My dear Mani, hang in there!
    You are doing great and this will pass.
    I know how hard it is right now, and mainly overwhelming with so many things happening, but you are strong and determined.
    And you have us.
    It’s a win-win.
    😘

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I think I just have a bad habit of absorbing someone else\’s stress. When my brother is hyperactive and stressed while studying, I tend to get antsy too

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    That’s totally fair – we talked about this at my in-laws over dinner last night actually. I think we all tend to be influenced a least a little by the atmosphere in the room, but that can get even more absorbed when you’re with someone for an extended period of time and your understanding of the situation is deeper

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Beanies, I reached out to a couple of my friends regarding my interviews and both of them helped me out so much. It was so nice to finally interact with them post my down phase post my exam results

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I am still trying to terms with the disappointments while preparing for the interviews. I have started working and am still finding my groove. Excited for an interview in Mumbai though

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That awful feeling when you realise you worked hard but not hard enough and it really breaks your spirit and you wonder if you have it in you to start again

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    🥺🫂

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    You’ve got this! Don’t give up! It’s ok to take a rest, and I’m confident things will turn out in the best way for you if you don’t give up 🙂

    PS I really like to listen to the OST of Itaewon Class “Start” and “Rock”. They’re great songs to encourage me to never give up 🙂

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      And, it takes courage to decide to change your focus and stop pursuing something, too. Anyway – just rooting for you!

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        Thank you so much. Its been painful but I am learning to come to terms with it

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          I’m wishing you the best and will continue quietly rooting for you on your road to healing, whatever that looks like for you 🙂

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    🫂💙

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    You’ll definitely get there. Roadblocks and all are part of the journey – persevere and review / pivot.

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    🫂 Take care. Life is all about restarts.

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Missing the Matchmakers a lot. It was such a good show.

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I did not have a good start to the year and there was a huge fight at home. I managed to cope with it but my brother had a hard time but i realised that not every start needs to be perfect.

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    Oh no sorry to hear this. The start of a new years is a social construct so treating it as any other day in your life will hopefully mean that it won’t have any more significance than any other bad day. I hope that your brother can find and use the coping skills he needs to get through these bad events as these are skills he will be using regularly for life whether he is living with family or alone or dealing with study or work issues etc.

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    I’m so sorry 😔
    I hope everything is better today. Virtual hugs.

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    I’m so sorry, Mani, sending hugs 🫂
    I agree with Tess— lots of events, dates, milestones, etc.— are social constructs or things the general public make up and place emphasis on, and a lot of times, it’s used as coverups or to put on a face (superficiality), and it all comes down to ego. More often than not, it seems like creating things to be these huge deals— dates— creates more conflict and tensions because so much emphasis is placed on keeping up appearances, —even if to oneself, because sometimes we even feel the need to be prim and proper for ourselves— but going about the day and your own business like any other day will help to mitigate that.

    Take a moment to gather yourself, and maybe you can just go do something with your brother, just the 2 of you?

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      Hi Bebe, it was one of those times where we just needed to let time pass. It made us sad but we need to move on

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    There is tomorrow. 😘
    And maybe the fight brings something positive as well? Some sort of cleansing? New start?
    Hugs. 😘

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    Warning: ⚠️ Sickness description ahead.⚠️
    Sounds about as much fun as mine. I had gone out the night before to a nightclub. Yesterday I felt a little off , a mild headache and some sore muscles. I attributed that to the two beers I had and standing all night at the club. I ate dinner and fell asleep watching movies. I woke up, oddly enough ‘round Midnight. Sweating, pounding head ache, the top of my head was hot. I went to stand up and I was dizzy, and had to sit down . I grabbed my cat bashing cane*, I don’t really bash them , (*local thrift store purchase,carved and painted somewhere other than here) , hobbled to the bath room and threw up. Just like a Christmas Carol, I was visited three times that night by a trip to go puke . 🤢 I went outside it, it felt so good,the cool winter air, I was cold though, my shirt was soaked with sweat.
    Woke up this morning and I’m fine . Whatever it was is gone . Happy New Year !! I actually see it as a purging of 2023 . 🤔

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      Glad that you are feeling better and have been able to reframe the experience 😊

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        I have done a couple rounds of qigong today and feel much better.

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      I am so sorry you had to experience that. I was down with a very nasty cold for a week with an entrance exam around the corner and it was awful

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    I hope things get better with time. And I hope your brother feels better soon.

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    I’m so sorry, Mani-chan. As the others have said, the a new year is of course just any other day – but it’s normal that we often have thoughts or feelings attached to what that means. Tomorrow is another day, and I hope it will be a better one for you. I also hope you feel proud that you handled the situation as best you could, and also had a warm heart for your brother. May the new sun bring new opportunities for ease and grace for you both!

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I\’m currently recovering from an awful cold and the renovations at home and being cooped up and being unable to study for long has me very cranky. It sucks big time

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The Matchmakers is so good. The writer holds together the interactions so well. It is just so cohesive. It is very much like Into The Ring, simplistic yet fantastically executed with tons of heart.

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Unfortunately, I couldn\’t take myself out on a solo date and instead spent the day moping around at home because the place i was looking forward to going was too far to go alone, acc to my parents

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    Oh, Mani, so bad. But even, try a solo date at home. You by yourself, being idle and enjoying something just for you. And then eat chocolate. Because you deserve it!!

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      I can’t really chill at home anymore, mainly because we are redoing the tiles in our house so there is bountiful dirt all around

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