Beanie level: Chaebol’s poor doppelganger

Hello Beanies!
Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s a little late, but the day is still not over for me☺️
I just wanted to let y’all know that your Love, February posts were all really beautiful!! You all have a way with words: they’re touching, they’re funny, they’re deep, they leave an impression. I am happy to be a part of a really talented community even if I’m only liking posts, mostly lurking, and not having much to add. Last year, I was not in a good place to be opening up myself to the Internet. This year, I feel like I’m doing better and I even told myself that I should give it a try. However, something came up and all I could do was think about that for a couple of weeks. I’m still kind of surprised that I held it in together pretty well and didn’t have too much trouble because of these news. Thank God, the appointment today went well. Even going to into it, I had peace in my heart. God is good and I have nothing to worry about anymore! It was better than what we expected and a huge burden was taken of our shoulders. Overall, I had a pretty good day. And I hope the same can be said of you dear Beanie!

Love, February ❤️

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The first drama I finished this year is none other than Search: WWW. I always try to go back and watch the good, highly regarded dramas that I missed while live watching others, so it’s a little bit sad that I didn’t get to gush along with everyone else. Still, I’m glad I watched it as I really enjoyed it!

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    To be honest, at first, the story didn’t sound appealing to me. I don’t know why, but I don’t think I understood what the plot was really about. Then everyone started raving about it, but the long episodes scared me off a little bit. What if I started it and it didn’t end well? I even read the recaps and was still a little hesitant. However, everyone talked a lot about it and rated it highly in their end of year reviews, so I thought about picking it up. As I had nothing to watch for a while, I decided to just give the first episode a try. One episode turned into going all in and watching it all. I loved it, of course. A million things have been said about this drama, and my words always fail to describe why I like things well, so I can’t really add much to the conversation, but I can say that somehow I found myself looking at the similarities I had with the three ladies that ran this show.

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    I will start off by saying that I’m not a chaebol, I do not have a high position or a long career under my belt, and I live a single, hopeless romantic lifestyle. How can I relate to these women though? I was surprised myself to find connections with these women, which is why I want to document it, if only to learn more about who I am. I’ll start with Ga-kyung. She had the most horrible parents and even worse mother-in-law, which thankfully I cannot relate at all. Her life was so suffocating that I sometimes wanted to scream for her. I don’t know what I would do in her case, I would’ve gone crazy to live in that lifestyle. However, in my own life, I sometimes feel like I’m only doing what other people want. I’m being such a drama queen, I know, but it totally feels that way when you are stuck in the same scenarios over and over again. I live with my parents and my siblings, and I work from home. It sometimes gets a little too much being at home all the time. There are some days I just want to leave, but I can’t. I’m financially unstable, plus I feel that if I go, my family will fall apart, not kidding. I’m the eldest sibling so I’ve always been my parents’ right hand, maybe even the left too. I’m responsible for a lot of things in the household. I’m the one managing doctors appointments. I’m the one everyone comes to when they need something. I’m the problem solver. After a while, its burdening. I “run” the house, but it’s not my house to run. My parents just dumped it all on me and it’s hard to just hand it back. I’ve tried, but things don’t change overnight. I’ve had my share of embarrassing moments where I talk back and it just leads to me crying. Ga-kyung though, only talked back when she was truly done with them. Oh, how I wanted her to do it sooner! My parents, my family, isn’t horrible. I really love them, I do. And I know that the reason I want to scream out loud at random times has to do with inner conflicts more than them. But how I wish they could listen to me, like really understood and helped me instead of always coming to me to fix their problems. Who helps me then? Doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder? Does it work on families?

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    Cha Hyeon is on the opposite spectrum of Ga-kyung, at least in my head she is. She is girly, and brave and stands up for others. She can be cute and giggly, but also a total force to be reckoned with. I think the major scenes that stuck out for me was when she would come out to help her friends when they needed her. She was there to back them up, no questions asked. I am a very nervous person, a huge scaredy cat. My life is the way it is right now because I don’t stand up for myself. I don’t take risks. I have anxiety problems that I’m dealing with, but you know sometimes that anxiety hits when you least expect it, so I’m not spontaneous either. However, when my family and friends need something somehow I get the courage to do it. When my father fell ill, I was surprised at how calm and composed I was while figuring things out and talking to his doctors. I took charge when my family couldn’t. They all looked towards me, so I could explain what was happening and what that meant for our future. When my siblings needed help figuring out this or that, they took me along knowing that I wouldn’t hold back and ask all the hard questions for them. I faced my fear of crowded places to be with the people I love during their most important times. I can do this and more for them, but when it’s for myself, I get timid and shy. Cha Hyeon is confident in herself and stands up for what she believes in. I already have it in me to help others, maybe it’s time for me to be confident in myself. I want to stand up for myself now. I want to make a decision and not back down

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    Tami, to me, was the most frustrating out of the three. Whereas Cha Hyeon and Ga-gyung are on the opposite sides of the spectrum, Tami is in the middle: she has the ability to care for the greater good, but if she does something that might look shady, she still isn’t totally wrong also. Her decisions career wise weren’t frustrating though, well at least to me. She was a smart lady and knew what she was doing. Her coworkers got along with her and respected her judgment. If I ever get to jump start my career, then I would totally would want to be like her. Her love life was what was frustrating. Cha Hyeon got the romantic, cute love line. Ga-kyung got the mature love line. Tami got the I’m doubting all my decisions love line. The only reason I found it frustrating was because, even though I am single as can be, I could see myself in Tami, doubting myself over every little thing. I’m like a ping pong that bounces back and forth in my thoughts all the time, but as for right now, I do wish to be married someday. However, there are a lot of things that would totally put me off in dating someone because like Tami said, one will have to yield to the other and it might make that person regret it in the future. I think that it is what I would hate the most, have someone regret the decision we made. So I really don’t get why they got together again. Like yeah, the hopeless romantic in me wants them to just love each other while they can, but my realistic side thinks that if there is a foreseeable end to it, then why start. I guess this all sounds silly because I am not in a position to say anything since I’ve never been in love, but I’m a frustrating person and Tami is too which is how I related to her, hehe.
    I rambled for way too long and it probably doesn’t make sense, but I think that this was the best way I could show my love for this drama by relating these impressive women to myself. I do not measure up to them in the least, but it’s hard sometimes to connect with one character in a drama, so to think I connected at least very briefly in small tangent way over there to three characters, I think it means that this drama really was something else!

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      I didn’t see her as doubting at all (about her love life). She knew she didn’t want marriage and children. Her career was what she found fulfilling and what she wanted to spend her time doing without the other distractions. She didn’t want to deprive him of what he wanted and found fulfilling and was afraid he’d miss out if he continued to be with her.

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      Did you watch Be Melodramatic yet? Three more interesting women.

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        I totally see what you said about Tami! It’s something I saw as well, but couldn’t properly say.

        I loved Be Melodramatic! We got some good women centered dramas last year:)

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      Thanks for sharing all this. Dramas can be therapeutic, can’t they?
      About Ta-mi, it’s true that her love story could not have a future; my past self didn’t like stories like that, but now I am rather satisfied with the ending. We are living here and now, so to me it’s ok to live the moment (and even two people with the same mind and projects could break up in the future for lots of reasons).
      Wish you all the best. Fighting!

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        I will probably change my mind regarding Tami in a couple of weeks and go back and forth for a while since that is my true nature, hehe.
        Thanks for reading:)

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Hey Beanies. I haven’t seen it in the fan wall yet, but just wanted to let you know that the first two episodes of Sanditon are out already! When I heard that Masterpiece intro music, it took me back to my Downton Abbey days🙂

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    @pbnjelly513! I work for a local PBS station. Lemme know what you think. I haven’t seen it yet and usually binge Masterpiece.

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      Oh how awesome! So far, the first episode has me interested enough to go in for the second. I would totally want to binge too, but I’m so busy that I’m trying to keep on top of the episodes all my live watches, hehe

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      Coming from a place where the whole series has aired, I can tell you it’s Not Very Good @tsutsuloo (and that’s putting it mildly). Just watch some other Austen adaptations instead. Or the first couple of seasons of Downton

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        Ah shucks. Oh well, they can’t all be hits huh. Thanks for letting us know Cloggie. I’ve been actually wanting to do a rewatch of Downton or at least put it in the background while I knit or something, so I think I’ll just do that instead.

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        Good to know. I started watching it last week and didn’t love it.

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Happy New Year Beanies!! 🥳 I hope that 2020 is a year that brings us good health, lots of love, and personal growth in whatever shape or form that is. That your life is what you want it to be, that your dreams come into fruition, and that your dramas entertain you in the way you want! I hope you all have a lovely day:)

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It’s almost time for the new year to begin, and I think that, like the whole of 2019, December in particular went by pretty quickly. I didn’t get a chance to do a writeup for the dramas I watched in 2019, but I would still like to write them down in my fan wall, if only for myself.
They are down in the reply:)

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    I feel kind of sad that this year I didn’t have the time to do DB year end review since in 2017 I did one as a letter to my future drama watching self and in 2018 I did one on how I became empathetic for the first time while drama watching and cried along many of them. It would’ve been nice to have another one to keep a streak, but with the busyness of the holidays and being sick, I didn’t have the time to organize my thoughts on the dramas I watched. Looking back now, I watched a lot of pretty good dramas! I think I did a pretty good job at choosing which ones to live watch, since that is mostly what I did for the Korean dramas I did watch. My taste also changed a little: either I learned to put up with some ridiculousness and my patience has grown or I have always enjoyed said ridiculousness and wanted to keep that side of me hidden even from myself, lol. Whatever is the case, 2019 was a pretty good drama watching year for me:)

    This is the list of dramas that I finished this year:

    *Love-Love* (Dramas I enjoyed the most):
    -Just Dance
    -Sky Castle ♪We All Lie-Ha Jin♪
    -A Moment at Eighteen ♪Moments-Christopher♪
    -Be Melodramatic ♪Your Shampoo Scent in the Flowers-Jang Beom-jun♪
    -ExtraOrdinary You ♪My Beauty-VERIVERY♪
    -Father Is Strange (My first weekender and the only past drama I watched)

    *Love-Like* (The littlest of oomph was needed for me to love-love these dramas):
    -Top Star Yoo Baek
    -Touch Your Heart ♪Make It Count-Chen♪
    -The Light In Your Eyes
    -That Psychometric Guy ♪Take-Jus2♪
    -Her Private Life ♪Maybe-Lee Hae-ri♪
    -The Secret Life of My Secretary

    *Like-Like* (I might’ve liked them more, but…):
    -Memories of Alhambra ♪Memories of Alhambra-Guitar music♪
    -The Crowned Clown
    -Vagabond

    *Like…Not Really* (Just wished they could’ve been different):
    -Let Me Hear Your Song
    -Melting Me Softly (aka The One I dropped)

    I also did something I never do: I rewatched my faves!
    -Just Between Lovers
    -Thirty, But Seventeen
    -I’m Not A Robot
    -Oh Hae-young Again
    -Because This Is My First Life

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    I didn’t really watch a lot of older Korean dramas because I mostly filled in that space with C-drama rom-coms.
    In order of enjoyment they are:
    -When We Were Young
    -Detective L
    -Put Your Head On My Shoulder
    -Go Go Squid
    -Le Coup De Foudre
    -A Little Thing Called First Love
    -The World Owes Me A First Love
    -Accidentally In Love
    -Suddenly This Summer
    -Lion Pride (Taiwanese drama)

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    It looks like I watched a lot, which I did, haha, but I also filled my days with Korean variety shows because I love to laugh and I needed to laugh a lot this year!
    My daily staples:
    -Sundays were for Running Man
    -Mondays were for Master in the House (Used to be 1 Night,2 Days which is back and I’m watching it excitedly!)
    -Tuesdays were for Ask Us Anything (aka Knowing Brothers)
    -Saturdays were for Home Alone (aka I Live Alone)

    On free days I watched these seasonal shows which I really enjoyed as well: Coffee Friends, The Great Escape 2, Village Survival: The Eight, Love Me Actually, Kang’s Kitchen 2, Little Forest, Busted Season 2, New Journey to the West 7.

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    I also decided to watch more Korean movies:

    Loved:
    -Ajusshi (aka The Man From Nowhere)
    -My Brilliant Life
    -A Taxi Driver

    Love-Like:
    -Along With The Gods: Two Worlds
    -The Villainess
    -Miss Baek
    -The Dude In Me

    Like:
    -The Great Battle
    -Tune In For Love
    -Hit and Run Squad

    Overall, I think that I had a pretty good 2019 Korean-Asian entertainment year! Here’s to a good 2020 drama watching year!!

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A very Merry Christmas to all the Beanies that celebrate it!! It is an annual tradition for my body to give up on me around this time, since I always seem to get sick on Christmas. But, still, the house needs to get cleaned and the tamales need to be made! I hope that you are all safe and happy amongst your family and friends:)

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    Well, Merry Christmas to you @pbjelly513. I hope you don’t follow your schedule this year and stay well and feel good!

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      Thank you! I’m drinking lots of water and taking Vitamin C to keep this cold at bay.

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    Merry Christmas and get well soon!

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    Christmas tamales! That brings back childhood memories of my grandmother and my mom spending an entire day cooking. Then, they would let me help construct the tamales. My little self felt very accomplished, even if all I did was plop some masa in a banana leaf. 😊

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      I’m the sous-chef to my mom, the main chef, so that’s basically what I’m doing every year😅 It’s all good though, we should feel accomplished!

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        Indeed! My grandmother was very particular about her tamales, so we pretty much just did what we were told. 😉

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      The first time I ever had tamales I didn’t know what all the fuss was about. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-30’s and learned you had to REMOVE the corn husks to find out how yummy they are! hahaa

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    Merry Christmas !
    Hope you’ll feel alright. Drink some orange juice and don’t overdo it!

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      I definitely will! I’m already taking my 20 min break, hehe.

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    Merry Christmas! Enjoy the tamales!

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    Merry Christmas and get well soon!

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      Thank you! The tamales are done and on the stove and I’m at my favorite spot in my sofa for a while:)

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    I know the feeling. made 100+ tamales this afternoon with the fam. I’m exhausted. have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the tamales.

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      Tamales are the best, but also why do we eat so many of them😂 I hope you have a good time and rest as well!

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    Merry Christmas! Hope you’re feeling well. Enjoy the Christmas tamales!

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My kdrama question for 2019 definitely has to be: Are dramas changing or am I?
I used to be able to juggle various live dramas at the same time and would sometimes throw in a completed one when I had the time, but I’m currently watching nothing!! The more I think about it, the more I think that I’m the one that has changed.

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    Last weekend, I finished ExtraOrdinary You and Vagabond. The way I felt after both finales is what made me think that I have changed. I’ve been extremely picky this year with the dramas I watch that it’s always a shame when the drama doesn’t turn out to be as good as I thought. But somehow, I really enjoyed both ExtraOrdinary You and Vagabond. Like really enjoyed! Even their finales.
    There are so many webtoons being adapted to dramas, but I don’t think I really have seen many of them. Sometimes when you see one rom-com, you’ve seen them all, but I thought that for a webtoon turned drama/rom-com, ExtraOrdinary You was new and interesting and fun and full of many fresh characters. It might not have been as good as the original, but I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t say anything about that. I loved it though! The meta was funny, the love story sweet, the redemption of some characters deserved. I was entertained from beginning to end. And that’s where I think I’ve changed. The dramas that are my favorite have made me feel something. I have cried next to them or I can relate. I didn’t bawl my eyes out with ExtraOrdinary You and I couldn’t relate, but just the fact that I was entertained and anticipating new episodes each week is good enough for me to save it in my head as a very good drama. It’s not in my top ten, but it is one that I feel confident to recommend to my friends. Is what I expect out of drama changing or is my rating system?

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      Which leads me to Vagabond. Now, going into this drama I knew that I might be disappointed. Why? Because that is what happens to a lot of action dramas (cough Man to Man cough). But I still wanted to watch it and I got hooked pretty quickly. I really like watching nonsensical action movies. You know, the ones where one regular guy outwits and outsmarts the bad guys and saves the world while risking his life that should of been gone the first time they ran him over. I don’t know why, but I really like seeing these types of movies where I can turn my brain off. And Vagabond was just that. Ridiculous, but fun. The stunts were good and the acting on Lee Seung-gi’s part was stellar, imho:) I didn’t even find the romantic parts that annoying. And through those not so annoying parts was when I knew that this was not going to be a clean cut ending! They didn’t get together quickly enough for it to end in a one season drama, haha. I was upset that they were going to leave it off for a possible second season, but then I thought about it and realized that action movies usually have more than one sequels. I mean the hero needs to save the world more than once to be considered an actual action movie hero! There are not too many action dramas out there, so I can see why they would want to continue this particular one since they solved everything and nothing at the same time. And here is where I’ve changed, in that, to be honest, I would watch the second season! I was fully entertained and if they keep the same momentum and more close calls and more of Lee Seung-gi saving the day, then I would be up for it, haha. My past self probably can’t believe me now! (For the record, I like my dramas one season only please!!) Vagabond is nowhere near my top dramas, but I enjoyed it and that’s what matters:)

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        Funny story about ExtraOrdinary You: My fam knows that I watch kdramas because I take over the living room in the afternoons so I can watch them in full screen, haha. (Don’t worry, I do share the TV:). They usually don’t care about what I’m watching and only sort of listen to me when I try to tell them about it T.T My brother is pretty good at entertaining me when I talk to him, but I only do it sometimes since I don’t want to bother him (more like I don’t want to repay the favor and listen to him about his boring show, lol, sorry bro). Anyways, I told him I was finally excited about a drama with a character named Number 13. He was nice enough to ask me about it a couple times so I always had a chance to gush a little:) My mom walked by one afternoon and saw that I was paying close attention. She saw Baek Kyung and started teasing me that I liked the cute boy with the earring. I told her that I was falling for Haru-ya instead. When he comes up on the screen, my mom nods her head and says that he is definitely much cuter, hehe! To be honest, Haru was swoony, but Do-hwa was the real MVP!

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          Do-Hwa was my favorite character and the best/most memorable lines were all said by him. I loved him and hope he gets the girl in the next comic he is drawn into 😁

          I am lucky as I watched this with my mom and little bro. So we got to all gush together as we watched lol

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Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to all Beanies! It is cold and raining and currently thundering here, but thankfully we are staying home for the festivities. Safe journey to all!

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Beanies, I finished Busted Season 2 over the weekend and I have to say I was more entertained with this season than the first. The first one was funny, but I think since they had already worked together, the chemistry between the cast was good and the scripted story flowed better in the second season. Also, the games and puzzles seemed to be just right for them, although Park Min-young did do a lot of the heavy lifting there. Overall, I still had fun watching this Netflix Korean variety. If only I got true endings and not cliffhangers then I would be thrilled!!

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    I really liked the second season as well. I still believe the absence of Kyung soo made this season better. I just can’t with that dude and I still wonder why he is so popular.

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Beanies, this year has been kind of slow on the drama front. Maybe I learned self-control or maybe the pickings are slim, either way I’ve tuned into less dramas this year which usually means I stick with them just ‘cuz. So, I was very surprised at myself for finally dropping a drama out of my own will. I don’t think I have to say more than I stopped after that shower kiss for you all to guess what drama I’m talking about…

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    But I will say more, lol. I’m a completionist! Especially when it comes to dramas. I just get too curious about what’s going to happen even if I know it is not going end well. I was curious about Ji Chang-wook’s comeback drama, but, oh man, I wasn’t curious enough to finish it. Sorry JCW😕 I learned three things about myself. First, I can drop dramas and not look back! (Does that mean I should try out more dramas now that I know I have the power to drop them?🧐). Second, the story is more important than my fave actors. (I had just rewatched Just Between Lovers…). And the third thing I learned about myself is that in order to best forget a drama and get over the fact that I won’t witness the finale firsthand is to immerse myself into something else. In this case, I did two things to keep myself busy:
    1. I found a drama that kept me wanting more! Lately, I’ve been tuning into C-dramas more, especially their shorter rom-coms. I havent watched many, but the ones I have seen have been cute enough that even if the ending isn’t all there, I can easily forgive them thanks to their strong first half. This time, I tuned into Acidentally in Love on Netflix. If you havent heard of it, it is about a young heiress that runs away from her home to go the college where her parents fell in love. To hide, she dones a disguise of curly hair, glasses, and freckles to down play her beauty. She meets an idol, who is also her classmate, and they fall in love while spending time together in her costume. Now, it wasn’t the greatest thing out there, but I feel that its problems came after they got together when it got laggy and took itself too seriously. But the thing is, despite its problems and, ugh why do people think curly hair and glasses makes someone unattractive, I had way more fun watching this than the six or so epsiodes I watched of Melty. I learned to definetly watch more of what I want, mindless entertaining fun rather than mindless frustrating not-fun.
    2. I learned to love my hobbies again! Sometimes when you have hobbies it’s fun to work on them consistently, but when you don’t have time or money to entertain them, they can become a chore. Lately, I’ve been so busy that all I want to do is watch an episode of something and then go to sleep. However, the key to my mental health is to do something I enjoy and relax. Thus, I turned to reading and crocheting. I made myself read at least 30 mins each day and that encouraged me to turn my TV off more and sometimes read more than the time I set for myself. I also found this project online and thought I could make it even though I am not a proficient crotcheter. https://myartpetite.com/2018/02/24/free-crochet-pattern-part-1-of-3-monkey-plush-from-a-korean-odyssey-hwayugi-화유기/ I was able to finish it pretty nicely.

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      I learned crocheting on my own so I’m pretty proud of it. But I’ll admit, I never saw the drama. I’m such a fake fan😅 But still, I read the recaps and saw the clips so I can kinda of guess what happened, hehe. 😂
      Anyways Beanies, everytime I tell myelf to be more active on DB, I feel like I return to my lurker days. Hopefully, I’ll gain more confidence to talk to you all more!

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      Lucky you I feel like I can never go back to reading as my hobby. I just lost interest. There hasn’t been a good book that held my attention for a long time.

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        And I can’t stop myself from completing a drama either.

        I am surprised at my confidence now. I used to never comment on anything before and now I have made so many comments on DB. Good luck to you 🙂

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          Finding a good book is also hard for me, but I had a couple of series I wanted to finish so I had a couple of things to read.

          DB is my first social media platform I’ve commented on and it’s definitely fun and exciting, but then my shyness comes out. Hope to see you around as well!

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        I suggest The Island of Sea Women a fictional work about the female sea divers of Jeju Island.

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          I actually read that during that time and it was so good! I still can’t get over the hanyeo!!

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      This is wonderful! Congratulations on finishing ~ I crocheted a monkey doll from Hwayugi last year ^_^ nothing like yarn crafts!

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Completed: Be Melodramatic♥️
One word review: Satisfied!

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My final Makjang Monday😀

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    I have always thought that I have a weird family and the more I learn about them, the more I realize that they are full of drama and not necessarily the good kind. As I contemplated what story to share for these Makjang Mondays, I began to feel uneasy, thus why my stories lacked a lot of the makjang and it was basically me writing about random things in my life. The thing is, these stories are best told out loud, so I can add my expressive emotions. Also, since the stories were not about me, it felt kind of weird to write about my family members. Sorry I kept all the juicy stories to myself! I guess we just have to meet up in real life😊

    Which leads me to my makjang story, or makjangless, story of today which is: this! If makjang is considered something that seems unlikely to happen in real life, then being on DB is so makjang to me! I never thought that I would be conversing or sharing my writing with people online, from all over the world. I might’ve grown up with the internet, but my parents couldn’t afford the internet or a computer, so I only truly used the internet in school and for school purposes. I didn’t have a working PC until college and I got my first smartphone around 5 years ago as a full grown adult. I never did online socializing until DB, so you guys are truly my first online friends! It still seems crazy to me that I know people only through their username handles. I also talk to myself about you guys as a collective all the time. Like, that drama was no good, DB told me not to watch, or DB says that drama is what’s good right now. Even now as I’m typing both of my parents have come up to me to ask who I’m talking to and I’ve told them I was talking to my friends! (Also, yes my parents are sooo nosy. No privacy I tell you!). Beanies, sometimes I wonder how long I will be on this website. I’ve never visited something so frequently or put my thoughts online somewhere that I wonder how long it’s gonna last and if anyone will remember me. It doesnt matter though because I will remember you! And that’s truly makjang to me!

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      If 6 years ago someone told me I would be conversing and joking around in english with online friends from every corner of the world, I would think they were messing with me. See, English is one of the nightmarish subject for me back in school. Not even in my wildest dream I could imagine writing a long rambling about shows I love and hate, but here I am. It still amazes me how I can say something like “Yeah, my friend from California said that….”

      10
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        Wow, Gadis, I wouldn’t have known that you struggled in English if you hadn’t told me. I don’t think I’ll ever travel, so I’m glad that despite that, there are people I “know” all over the world. You also have another California friend right here😃

        2
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Completed: Let Me Hear Your Song
Final Thoughts: Well at least I got a bean💁🏻‍♀️

12
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    I went in with low expectations, but curious about the premise. Honestly, I should’ve left when Yi-young said this wasn’t a love story. Part of my curiosity was the love story! I love me a rom-com and this wasn’t it, but somehow I kept watching. The baddies weren’t that good and the plot lines were all over the place, but every Monday there I would be watching the next episode. Therefore, I can only blame myself for being disappointed when I knew it was going to have a cliched and cheesy ending. The acting, in my opinion, wasn’t bad though, and I guess that is why I kept watching. Kim Se-jeong’s character got a lot of flack for being dumb, which girl did do some things that made me go huh?, but I thought well acted. Yeon Woo-jin had this shady/flirty persona in the beginning which was different and interesting (not in real life though!) and he did very well that now I want him in a rom-com soon again pretty please! I loved the use of music and I wanted more of it towards the end. And now I want a proper orchestra drama too. All in all, it wasn’t too bad, I just wished it could’ve been better!

    9
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Beanies, for this Makjang Monday, I come to you with stories of my childhood and my selective memory that likes to over dramatize the scary things. I’m blessed to be alive!

10
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    (I have to preface this by saying that I have a horrible memory. I have good short-term memory retention where I can learn something and pick it up pretty quickly, but my long-term memory is pretty iffy. My childhood is a blur and the only things I remember are those that are on camera or that someone shared with me and we have talked about it. But the standouts in my childhood memories are the not so good things.)

    I don’t remember this, but when I was a baby, before turning one, I was really sick with bronchitis. My parents took me to the doctor, of course, but in my parents’ eyes, I wasn’t getting any better. Now, if you live close enough to the border like I do, you will find that many people cross it all the time to get treated there. With the encouragement of family and acquaintances, my mother decided to entrust me to my father, who took me to Mexico to get treated. Now, I love my dad, but my mom must have been desperate! He is someone who needs his wife. He was younger and sprier back then, but he is someone who needs constant care and not exactly the type to take care of others. I’m sure he was not going to let anything happen to me, but, oh my goodness, my mom had some strong faith that I was going to come back alright. I thankfully got better and came home safely. Phew!

    9
    1

      At the present, I alternate between taking care of a one year old and a two year old and let me tell you, I never let my eyes leave them. Why? Because besides being kind of paranoid, I know the trouble that children can get into, since I have many of those stories myself. For example, do you know how many apartments have fences and doors with steel bars on them. And how easy it is for a child to get their head stuck in between two bars? I should know because I once got my head stuck between two bars when I was three and the firefighters had to come to stretch the bars to let me out. Do you know the saying on how easy it is to steal candy from a child? Well, that might be too mean, but why steal candy from a child when it’s much easier to steal their gold necklace if you offer them said candy. I mean, for this I blame my parents for leaving me alone with a gold necklace, but I guess it was their pride that they could afford one for their child. Good thing the only thing lost was the necklace and not me, right?! Do you know one of the most dangerous things you can do as an adult to a child? It is putting something a small child really, really wants in a high place where they can see it. It is especially bad if you put it on top of a dresser because the child will then use the drawers as stairs and make the whole dresser fall on top of them and let the expensive jaguar decoration fall and break into a million pieces. All of these things happened to me before the age of four, so you bet that my eyes are glued to the babies I take care of.

      9
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        After a while, I stopped putting my life in danger as it was now my younger brother’s turn. We both couldn’t give my mom headaches, so I matured. Still, there are some questionable things I remember. Like when I was in first grade, our class was taking a trip to the public library. You know how teachers like to give you a buddy and you hope that it’s your best friend, but its never them. I was a goody goody in school so, of course, the teacher paired me up with the troublemaker of the class. We had many parents volunteering and helping us out, but I guess we were still a lot of kids to handle. We were going to walk to the trolley station from the school and ride the trolley to the library. When the trolley arrived, the class filed in, but the doors closed right when it was my partner’s and I turn. We were the only ones left outside of the trolley, and all the chaperones were already inside. I could see the teacher starting to freak out and I started to do so as well. But I do remember thinking that I would just head back to school if something happened. Thankfully, the doors opened and we made it to the library and back safely. I have no idea what the library looked like, but I do remember that incident. I think that I tend to remember the difficult times more vividly than the nicer ones because they are linked to anxiety. There were many times that I chose to forget because those memories were hard on me and I guess that made me forget the fun times amongst those hard times as well. Like, I still remember my first anxiety attack. I wasn’t feeling well the whole day, and when my dad and uncle got home drunk, I suddenly felt worse. They were happy drunks, but, still, to see them in an altered state made me feel panicked. It was made worse by the fact my mom yelled at them for making me feel that way. It was a long time before I had another anxiety attack, but I still remember my first one. Thankfully, I am now pretty boring and nothing too outrageous happens to me and I am glad to have made it through my childhood alright.

        13
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For this #MakjangMonday, I will be sharing with you Beanies my non-existing romantic life. Although I have many family makjang memories to share, I thought it best to embarrass myself first before putting my family out there. It’s surprisingly pretty long for something non-existing.
TL:DR- I’m romanceless T.T

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    One of kdramas’ favorite tropes is having the main lead to be single girl in her late twenties who has never dated. She is so beautiful, even when she is made to look “ugly”, how could she not have grabbed a young man’s attention? There is always something to stop her from having one: she is scared to go outside, she has to provide for her family with many part time jobs and is, thus, too busy to think of boys, she is pining for her first love who never acknowledged her, her self esteem is low, etc. Now, for some that may be hard to believe. But, oh Beanies, for this girl it is very much her own truth. At 27, I have never been in a romantic relationship! The following is a chronological account of the lack of romance in my life:
    -In Elementary School, all boys had cooties. Well, maybe not all of them… I think that by fourth or fifth grade, I started to see that some boys were better looking than others, especially those in the novelas targeted to kids, haha. But I was a tomboy and I would rather play with them than think about them. The closest I got to a relationship was playing M.A.S.H and imagining my future life with the cutest boy in class, but he knew he was cute and I didn’t like that, lol.
    -In Middle School, I started to outgrow my tomboyish ways. That meant that the only time I would hang out with boys was in the actual classroom. I made friends with them, but I didn’t hang out with them outside of class (read: my mom wouldn’t let me). On a random day in eight grade, I went to pick up my journal in the back of the classroom and my friend went as well. I say hi to him and he tells me he wants to ask me something. I say okay nonchalantly. “Do you have a boyfriend,” he asks me. “No,” I say laughing. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” he spits out. My brain jumbles and I say, “Nnnnoooooo,” and walk away. I didn’t say it in a mean way, but it was definitely in a way that meant it was never going to happen. I was so flustered because I didn’t see him that way and to think that someone thought of me that way made me feel weird. I felt bad for rejecting him without an explanation or anything, but that all went away when I saw he was dating another girl a couple weeks later. That girl and me were total opposites that I stopped feeling bad for rejecting him, ha.

    20
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      -In High School, I made a promise to myself to wait until college to start dating. A couple of my neighbors around the same age were teenage parents and my friends who had dated went through difficult times, and I certainly didn’t want that for myself. My goal was going to college and I wasn’t going to let a boy distract me from that. And no boy did because let me tell you there was no one in my high school whom I was remotely interested in. No one! Sometimes I look back at my graduating class and think, maybe there was a hidden guy I didn’t notice, but nope. I guess it was good for my promise then, huh.
      -In College, I told myself that if someone came around that grabbed my attention, I would give them a chance. *a tumbleweed blows through* I can maybe take the blame for not putting myself out there, but there were also things I couldn’t control. For example, I studied Child Development which is mostly impacted by women. I got sick and barely made it to my classes so why would I hang out with others when I was barely hanging on. All my other classes not in my major were huge so there wasn’t really a chance to meet others. Anyways, the whole point is that I couldn’t find anyone in college either.

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        There was this one guy that created a pretty funny story for me to tell though. In my second year of college, it was the first day of school when we met. I arrived to my English class and saw people waiting outside the classroom. It was 8 am so I didn’t think there was a lecture at this time. I asked him if they had checked inside already. He said no, so I opened the classroom door and we went inside when I found it empty. I guess people thought we were brave since they followed us inside. He sat in the front and I sat to the side of the classroom in the middle and went on with my day. After English, I had a small break and found a nice tree to hang out in before my next class, Spanish. The class was on the third floor and after huffing and puffing it up the stairs I found myself in front of the classroom and in front of the same guy from my English class. He points at me and says, “You!”. I go, “Yeah it’s me” and walk away to find a seat on the side of the classroom while he goes to the front seats. After that day, he starts to seek me out. After English class, a couple of days later, he walks up to me and asks me if I have another class before Spanish. I say, “No,” and he asks if I want to hang out. Now, Beanies let me tell you, I was not interested in him one bit. Once again I felt weirded out that someone was seeking me out, but I didn’t want to be really rude this time. I told him that I usually hang out in the library, and I lead him to the part of the library where you can’t talk, hahaha. After a couple of times of hanging out together in the quiet part of the library, he doesn’t follow me after English anymore and I can peacefully return to my solitary tree. One day in English class, we have to team up in groups of three. Since he knows me, he asks if I want to team up and include the girl that sits behind me and I agree. While working on a project together, I start talking with the girl and we become friends pretty quickly. As with friends, you find a time that works out for both of you to hang out outside of class and I find out that she hangs out in the cafeteria with the guy that used to follow me after English. All three of us start hanging out together and it becomes pretty fun not being on my own, especially since I now have a friend I can really talk to. I became comfortable talking to him as well, especially since I can’t take him seriously as a romantic possibility. I mean he constantly called other women “hot” in front of me, even my new friend, so I knew he wasn’t interested in me in that way either. I could now breathe a sigh of relief. He was totally not the type of guy I like, but it was nice to have a guy friend.

        21
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          One day, it’s just the two of us girls and I ask her how she became friends with the guy. She tells me that he asked if he could hang out with her after English class one day. I tell her the same thing happened to me and we bond even more because the guy is harmless and funny. We call him a wannabe “mujeriego”, or a wannabe ladies man, and laugh because he is that farthest thing from that. So there’s that.
          -My life now is pretty boring. I mostly stay at home and don’t really go out. First, because I work from home. And second, because I have nowhere to go. Like for real. I get sick pretty easily so I king of avoid going to places that I don’t really have to go to. I’m good at entertaining myself and almost all my hobbies are solitary and homebound. I’m pretty introverted and have social anxiety, so going out to meet new people is not really something I see myself doing, at least right now.
          So, that’s it Beanies, my non-existing romantic life.
          In Mexico, they have a saying for “old” women like me, “Te está dejando el tren” (the train is leaving the station). I always found it hilarious. It makes you believe that soon enough you are going to get too old and nobody is going to want you so you best hurry and catch whatever you can. But I don’t want to catch whatever I can. A lot of people say I have too many expectations, but honestly, I don’t. I just haven’t met someone I’ve clicked with. So, don’t worry Beanies! I am in no way desperate to catch whatever. I’m gonna work on myself and on what I want for my life and if someone comes along, then they are more than welcome!

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            I’m 23 chingu and I still havent had a real romantic relationship. My «stories» are somewhat like yours, where I am completely oblivious (to the point that it can be rude).

            My conclusion: there’s no «time» to start looking. It just happens. And if, at the time, there was someone who seeked you out and you didnt notice (like me lol), well then it wasn’t meant to be.

            So, try new things, meet new people. And you’ll eventually meet him or her.

            Or idk, so I’m told. Im a 23 year old spinster. (hahahahah).

            13
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            Thank you for sharing your very personal story. I understand what you feel. Personally I like hanging out with guys as friends, but when they get that starry look in their eyes I get weirded out fast.

            10
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            Tis is a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing it. I’ve been in relationships but always wanted out almost as soon as it began. So now, for the past 4 or 5 years I’ve done what you’ve done all your life. Just not bothered. *hugs* sister!

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            @justme I like your advice, jeje. As a fellow spinster, I also dole out a lot of relationship advice to my friends. I don’t know why they come to me when they know I haven’t had a relationship, but they do. Here’s to us not being oblivious, haha.

            7
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            @wishfultoki It was easier to make guy friends in school, but now it’s hard for me to talk to any guy my age. Probably because I’m always with my mom or sister and they will endlessly tease me.

            5
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            Hugs @greenfields! With all we have on our plates, loving ourselves is priority right now than a boy!

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            Now now there is no such thing as the ‘right time’ to find a partner. I am sure you will find someone you will fancy and who will fancy you back. Just keep doing what you are doing. Be yourself and have fun in your own way. (Also guys are really not that great! They whine and they don’t clean around the house and ask for affection 24/7. Enjoy being single!)

            6
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            *gives you my single 26 year old spinster wave*

            Gosh, your highschool don’t want to date but also there is no one but tumbleweeds logic sounds like what I would say back then.

            I waited until college too, but then I guess my story changes because I did crush on guys on college, but part of that was because I felt like girls expected me to as a topic of conversation… I dated two guys each for only a couple of months back then, and currently it’s been two years and counting since I last even saw someone with qualities I want in a partner. But I don’t want to just get on a train either, I’m busy with work and family (and my cats).

            Fighting! Whether we get love lines or no, let’s be the drama leads we want in our stories!

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            *spinster fist-bump* Same with me too, Jelly! I’ve had small crushes but not so much that I wanted a relationship and attention from boys has always made me uncomfortable. If someone comes along who is right then that’s awesome but if not that’s ok too. What are men compared to rocks and mountains? Or books and dramas? Or just anything that makes you happy 😊 Thank you for sharing your story!

            6
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            Thanks for sharing your story! Mine is pretty much the same, and I’m older than you. At least in western society it seems a girl/woman must be ashamed for being inexperienced, and I have felt uncomfortable for a long time, but now I’m ok with it, because everyone of us has her story and personality. One of the (positive) side effects of watching dramas is that I find somehow comforting that a lot of heroines have little or no experience about romantic relationship. I know they are fictions, but if they exist, maybe this “condition” isn’t considered so weird in some parts of the world.

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            This.is.SO.relatable.
            Literally the whole thing.
            I’m at same age, never dated anyone, never had interest in anyone, not even a crush, added bonus: I’m pretty sure nobody took interest in me either, especially since I’m so good at shutting down any form of more than friendly behavior from the opposite gender.

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        Sometimes I look back at my graduating class and think, maybe there was a hidden guy I didn’t notice, but nope.

        High five, some times I wonder where do they have high schools with so cute and nice guys. Also when I was in high school I read all these mangas with very young hot guys as teachers in schools and I used to complain why don’t such people teach in my school! LOL!!

        1
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    Are you me? I’m 26 and have never been in any romantic relationship either. (Though I have many one-sided crush tales from my adolescent days) It’s a fact that used to make me feel embarrassed, but now it doesn’t bother me much. I do want to have my own family too, but like you said, I don’t want to desperately catch whomever available. I believe we’ll find someone who click with us someday. In the meantime, cheers to us single ladies!!

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      You guys are all so young still! I have a friend who got married at 35 and never dated prior either. I hope you stay healthy @pbnjelly513 and are able to get out long enough to meet new people and have new relationships!

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    Thanks for sharing your story @pbnjelly513
    Group Hugs 💙💚💛💜♥️❤️💖

    2
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    thank you for sharing your story Jellybn 🙂
    *waving from a Beanie almost at the same age as yours and as single as you *

    “But I don’t want to catch whatever I can. A lot of people say I have too many expectations, but honestly, I don’t. I just haven’t met someone I’ve clicked with.”
    this I can relate !

    May we find our beloved one (but not too late so that we can enjoy family life ^^ )

    1
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Completed: A Moment at Eighteen♥️
Times I wanted to return to my 18 yr old self: 0 (Angst, uncertainty, and stress, no thanks!)

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    (My not to spoilery review, but still…)
    I used to not enjoy watching high school dramas, but lately I’ve been tuning into them more and getting impressed. For A Moment at Eighteen, I think I liked its melancholy vibe that I got from it, starting from the trailers. I don’t like angst or being stressed while watching a drama, but when they give you a little and then reel it in with some cute or funny, it gets kind of entertaining. Or at least, it makes me want to tune in more. I really loved this drama because I kept looking forward to the next episode. I kept wanting to know more and even if they didn’t give more of what I wanted, I still enjoyed it. The finale was very open ended and what I want in a high school drama. These kids have a lot more growing up to do and have a full life ahead of them that it was nice to leave them in a place where, yeah, it’s going to be tough sometimes, but they are going to be okay. I loved Kang Ki-young in his role as Mr. Oh, someone who has been through a tough childhood and has first hand experience to help these kids out. I cried a couple of times in his scenes, who wouldn’t want a supportive teacher. I was also very impressed with Ong Sung-woo. I had seen him in variety as himself, but he totally immersed himself in Joon-woo and what a nice character Joon-woo was. All the other cast members were great as well and as a whole they really created a good team. I liked at the end that Soo-bin was still looking for her own dream, by the way Kim Hyang-gi was totally great as well. What she had with Joon-woo was definitely beautiful, I mean who wouldn’t want to find someone who just gets you at 18, but not all of us have figured out our lives at that age. When I was 18, I wanted to leave my house just like she did, she wanted to be away from her mom’s wing, which was totally me as well, but I couldn’t leave my family. I felt this duty to stay and help my parents and siblings out. I applied to college not really knowing what I wanted to be, but knowing I had to go there to at least find out. Soo-bin has Joon-woo and her friends on her corner and I’m sure she will figure her dream out soon. How nice would’ve it been if Joon-woo stayed so they could encourage each other face to face, which is why I cried at the end with them. If I had a Joon-woo, I would also not want to let him go!

    4
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I feel that my Makjang Monday is more sad than funny, well at least to me, but trust, after years of living through this, I’ve learned to just laugh it off… eventually. Check the reply:)

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    This story is about one of the many ways me and my mom just can’t get along. I love my mom, I do!, but, oh man, sometimes we just can’t be in the same room. We are total opposites and both firm on our stance. For the most part, we can live peacefully (for that I would like to pat myself in the back since I feel that I’m the one that tries harder), but during our difficult times, nothing I say or do seems to work out. I’m the eldest of three. To my parents that means I’m the one they call to for anything and everything. My siblings too! It’s flattering that they think I can solve everything, but it can get quite annoying when they want me to do Every! Single! Little! Thing! Anyways, that is not the story I will tell you today.Today, I will tell you about how my mom clearly has a favorite child and, just putting it out there,it isn’t me. I know moms say they love all their children equally (Beanie moms don’t come at me, I completely understand that!), but let me tell you everyone around us, even outside our family, can tell my mom love LOVES my brother, the middle child. How can I tell? Just in the way she talks to us. Example: One night my parents were having an argument. The thing is they are the type of people to yell, in a very makjang manner by the way. (Good thing there was no kimchi laying around!) We are used to it, sadly, and so over it! Usually, I’m the one that steps in and tries to calm everyone down, but I’m so tired of it that I didn’t do anything that night and went on with my own business. My brother stepped up to calm them down. He is Big boy and when he speaks loudly, it’s quite intimidating. My parents quickly stopped their argument, spread out, and went their own ways. The next morning, I’m awake early as usual. Things were tense last night, but I was a good girl, I held my tongue, go me! My mom wakes up and I can tell she is still mad. I say good morning cheerily and she responds back gruffly. Ahhh, she is mad at everyone today, I think. Whatever, mom is being mom and I go back to what I was doing. It’s a weekend so my brother sleeps in, mind you he doesn’t care about being in anyone’s good graces like I do. He wakes up and my mom almost floats to his side to say good morning. I kid you not, my jaw is on the floor from this demonstration. Here I thought he was going to get an earful for raising his voice last night, but no mom just can’t get mad at him. A couple days later I call her out on it in front of some of my family and she is like, “What? Me? No way! I treat all of you the same.” The whole room cackles! I get it, it’s her precious son, but, man, how it hurts sometimes.

    18
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      Like yesterday, my brother decides to cook and I immediately find it annoying. If I didn’t make it clear, it’s hard for me to be on my mom’s good side, so basically I do everything around the house since I work from home and she has a tough job, that’s my way of looking out for her. It’s whatever at this point. The problem here is: I end up cleaning everyone’s messes, especially his! Why? Because my low key ocd self doesn’t like the way he cleans up. I mean, if the stove isn’t clean, then what did you clean up in the kitchen anyways?!! The good thing was that his girlfriend was around. That means to impress her, he at least washed all of the dishes he dirtied. Oh, but guess who was right next to him helping him out?…You got it, my mom. She was like, “Pobrecito (my poor son), look how much my son sweated from washing all these dishes.” All the girls in the house rolled their eyes to the back of their heads. Lady, I love you, but how different would it be if I were a son…

      15
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        Pheww! Third time is the charm! I tried three times and finally found my inappropriate word.

        3
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        Can 100% relate! My younger brother is the only son. I and his wife have to work to keep him in line since my mom babied him so much.

        5
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          My brother is sandwiched between two girls and was probably the only planned baby lol. He knows mom favors him so he does try to back us up when needed, but I see you boyyy. I love his girlfriend since she also keeps him in line a lot.

          5
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        My favourite story about this relates to my younger brother who, admittedly, has always needed more attention and more care. But we had a hammock at home and I was lying on it one day. It was strung up next to the pool under a pagoda over a concrete foundation.
        My 6ft younger brother wanders over to hop on it as well and I say, “don’t do it, it’ll collapse”. He ignores me of course and JUMPS onto the hammock with me. It collapses and I land on the concrete with him on top of me; very nearly cracking my coccyx in the process.

        As I’m lying there half stunned with my brother’s weight on top of me, I hear my mother yell, “MY SON, ARE YOU ALRIGHT!”

        Of course she used his actual name but you get the idea. As you can imagine, she has never lived it down.

        10
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          Oh my goodness! Why don’t brothers listen to us??! My brother is also over 6 ft. But i think he feels like he is smaller so I can totally imagine this happening🤣

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        I am sure you will have more and more beanies agree with you here. I am the oldest and I was ‘trained’ to be a parent than to be just an older sibling. My dad expects me to pay for my siblings education – with my own money – and it is not like he doesn’t have any. I recently paid for my brother wedding – in its entirety! I am blessed thankfully but it is still hard to think my parents think I have been born to look after them and my siblings. It is like I don’t have my own family to look after.

        1
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          As the oldest and being very much aware of our family situation, I always minded how much I wasted and how I spent my money. With any money I made, I always made sure to give some to my parents. In that way, I feel so distant from my siblings who use it mostly for themselves. I feel like I already raised two children and now I’m helping take care of my nephew and my friend’s child since they were babies. I love them so much, but it’s tiring that I wonder if I am ever going to have my own.

          1
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            My perspective to a lot of things after I had my own baby. Holding my baby in my arms my entire world shifted from where it used to be. Now the needs of my child come first before anything else. And I love my siblings and my parents. I do. But now my child comes first and foremost (oh and of course my husband 😬 he is no. 2)

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      Can’t we eldest all identify with this? For me, it’s my sister. I don’t mind it so much because she was basically an only child with me and my brother off to college by the time she was 8 years old. But my hubby hates the fact she’s favored. Whenever I go to family events, she and her hubby get a pass. My husband would love a pass (and I make ample excuses for him when he just can’t anymore)! My makjang Monday is coming, don’t worry. I just don’t know what story to tell 😳.

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        That was hardest part on writing this, choosing a story😂😭

        1
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    Ah, the woes of the eldest child…
    You know what, after years of cleaning up after younger siblings and trying to be the dependable one, I realised that I was frustrated because I expected my family to thank me and appreciate me for it. People don’t realise what you do for them, sometimes those that are closest to you.
    Also, the motherly preference for sons is something I’ve witnessed too. Well, my grandma would swear she didn’t have favourites, and guess what, she sold her house when my grandfather died and gave the money to my good-for-nothing uncles. She’s free to do as she pleases, but *eye roll*

    6
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      Yeah, not getting thanked is the least of it, but not being appreciated is what hurts me the most. Especially since I don’t go out a lot and they know the reasons why. Oh well, I’m trying to live better and that means letting things like this go. It’s hard though!

      3
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        It’s so hard to let go. Especially when you feel like you’ve intentionally been “the responsible one”

        I work hard to be independent, to not be someone my parents worry about, and it’s hard to feel less appreciated than the others that constantly mess up or ask for help

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    As a girl with five brothers, I can understand this. And I assure you, it’s not just an older sibling thing. Four of those boys are my oppas, with the youngest being both the most considerate and most spoiled (being the ninth child must be strange)

    I’ve cleaned for them and cooked for them as long as I can remember, one of them even jokingly called me his little Cinderella sister growing up.

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      Anyways, being patronized as one of “the babies” while still being the one who cleans up after everyone is horribly infuriating.

      I sort of wish they would come to me with their problems, instead of telling me I’m too young and naive to understand… (I’m 25, by the by).

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        My dad calls me Cinderella. He is definitely the most chill out of my parents and can see how I’m teated, but he can’t do much about it either.
        You have it tough! I can barely handle one brother and one sister, but you have 8 siblings😮. My parents love making me do everything for them, yet they always tell me I know nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️ Can’t win I tell you!

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          Oh gosh, they used to seem like the weight of the world ~ as I’ve gotten older I’ve had to let go any notion that I am responsible for any of them, or that my decisions have an impact on their lives, which they don’t (there are too many of us for that). It’s humbling but it also means I live my life the way I want, even if they think it’s boring, and can enjoy the few times we are all together each year

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            I still live with mine and since I had to mature pretty quickly, it felt like I also helped in raising them so I definitely feel responsible for them as well. Thankfully, they are pretty good kids and now that they have graduated high school, I have learned to just let them be since I feel like my job is done, lol. They are more outgoing and spontaneous, so I am also the boring one haha.

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          Boring sister high five!

          I’m glad your siblings have grown up well, you’ve done a good job JellyBn!

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Fellow zombie Beanies raise your hands😴I’m currently trudging through the day waiting for the nighttime, fully knowing that I will probably not sleep well again, but still, I can dream and wish for that time to come soon. Anybody know any non-shady out of tune singers? I haven’t tried that yet!

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    Sleeping used to be my greatest skill but the past few weeks I’ve been waking up probably 5+ times every night and today it has really started to catch up to me. It’s awful. I’ve never felt this tired before.

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      Ahh, Mindy, I’m sorry you aren’t sleeping well either😔. I used to get knocked out at night and nothing would wake me up. But now, it takes me forever to fall asleep, half of the time I’m thinking go to sleep go to sleep and the other I’m having vivid dreams where I know I’m dreaming and wake up out of them. My name should be Tired because I say it do many times. Fighting!😴

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    My dissertation really fucked up my sleep schedule and now I have so many immediate decisions to take and I just can’t fall asleep at night, I keep waking up thinking about what am I gonna do next and my quality of sleep has gone down 🙁 Trying to get back to normal now.
    I used to be the best sleeper I knew, my parents used to complain that if I was left alone I could sleep for 24 hours continuously lol
    The pains of growing up 🙁

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      I see, you have a lot on your plate. It just sucks that when we have stress or the such the first thing that goes is our sleep. Sometimes I want to sit my brain down and tell it to calm the heck down and let body sleep so that all of me can feel better. I hope that everything goes well for you!

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Beanies, I had to go with my dad to the doctor’s today and we had to walk to the office in the middle of the day in this heat. 😭 We live a couple of blocks away so it’s not too bad, but I’m a whiner with anything above 80F. My dad is the same, but his complaints are worse and out loud, whereas I just grit my teeth and mutter under my breath, hehe😁. Anyways, I’m like speed walking, looking straight ahead, and trying not to be rude to my dad (I get it, appa, it’s hot!) and I’m thinking I should pop something in my mouth to stop myself from saying anything, just like a certain someone, when a car up ahead makes me do a double take. It’s black and boxy looking like a jeep and I’m thinking in my head, “Gun?!!!”. 😆😂 Is it the heat or too much Go Go Squid?! I wanna think a little bit of both. 😂

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    Stay hydrated! Sadly it feels like summer didn’t come in where I live. Weather ranges 14-20C in a day, but wind is really strong that one may need to wear a spring jacket outdoor and people won’t be judging hard

    Huehehehehe the God Gun virus is spreading!!!! I Haven’t spotted a black Jeep yet💔

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      Thanks, I definitely carry water with me everywhere I go! I’m not too fond of the heat or the cold 😆 so I also cover up anytime I feel a breeze. I’m blessed to live where I do because our weather is beautiful, I’m the one who is crabby haha😂

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I just finished watching A Taxi Driver and now I’m a congested mess right before bedtime😭 All good movies should make you feel something, right?!

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    Such a good movie, also super sad.

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    Yes I think so. That movie was brilliant and sad. But it reminded me that all good ‘revolutions’ or change seems to have begun with students. I wept for all the people in time who have struggled for change in their countries – and made a difference.
    so yes, it is a very powerful film.
    Feel away!

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