Surprisingly, I didn’t cry while watching this even though I could relate to so many family and friend problems. Maybe it was because I told myself to not look too deeply into myself and just see it as a drama. I’m good at protecting myself like that. There were times were Si-eun made me angry and times were I knew where she was coming from. I feel like my brain is on a different wavelength from those of my friends and family. Ever since I was young, I’ve had more mature thoughts and stress from my family than those of children around me or so it looked that way. I seemed to never connect truly with people my age. And I have like major trust issues so letting someone into my life is hard. But unlike her, I never fought with my friends and made up. I just slowly or very suddenly in some cases lost contact with them with no strong words between us. I have no high school friends I keep in touch with and I honestly don’t want to see anyone from around that time unless it’s in a control setting were I can compose myself. None of that suddenly meeting each other in the street stuff. I’ve always considered myself friendly. I’ve made lots of friends, but I have never been able to keep them. In elementary, I had friends in my classroom and friends at my apartments, but I moved and lost contact. In middle school, I had people I talked to and new friends I meet in orchestra. In high school, my group of friends occupied two benches in freshman year, but slowly everyone left to hang out with someone else. I always had someone to hang out with and to talk to, but I started feeling left out. They knew things about each other that I didn’t. They texted and hanged out outside of school, but I had never done that with them and wasn’t invited. It was always school, home, school, home with me. I never knew that they would spend all afternoon together. I probably couldn’t hang out with them because of my strict parents and having to babysit my siblings, but still, it’s the thought that counts, right?! I was the 4th rower, the two underclassmen dance girls whose names we don’t know. But still, I didn’t let it get to me. I was still their friend. By the time I was a senior though things changed. I started feeling sick. I felt horrible and although I went to the doctor they really couldn’t tell me anything about what I was feeling. So, I powered through and for the first time, I hated going to school. I felt sick, but couldn’t explain why. I didn’t know how to articulate why I was always in a mood or sad or why I didn’t look forward to anything. By then, our group was so small, we ate in a teachers class during lunch, sometimes alone when we were busy. I felt lonely at times, but I held it in and didn’t tell anyone. How could I, when I couldn’t myself understand. By the time I graduated, I felt so awkward around everybody that all I wanted was to be out of that school. I wanted to start college and get a new life.