Beanie level: Unemployed slacker in a sparkly tracksuit

VAGABOND Episode 8 Sh☠️tpost

HOW TO OPERATE ON A *no donโ€™t laugh Sic* on what I do believe is his *snorts* FEMORAL ARTERY
A Guide: By Gi Tae Woong, Surgeon Simulator, and HRH Sicarius of Melonia.
WARNING: GRAPHIC SCENES AND LANGUAGE

1) Die. In less than a minute.
2) Bring Patient back to life with Unicorn Tears™.
3) Remove ribcage (we donโ€™t need that anyway).
4) Remove lungs (also donโ€™t need those).
5) Stitch artery together with a hammer. Donโ€™t ask me how that works; it just does. Like the rest of this show.
6) Put heart back in, from when you removed it previously to take out the rib cage.
7) 👌
8) MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: 1000 XP POINTS ACQUIRED!
9) More Unicorn Tears™ may be necessary if patient goes into shock from blood loss and you DONโ€™T have Universal Donor Leprechaun Dal Geonยฎ on hand.
10) Put all future show writers and NIS agents through the very formal OPERATION course, so that they can successfully kill I mean write action dramas and save the world in the future with not a single hiccough.
*finger guns*

VAGABOND RPG NOTES
LIVES REMAINING: 3.5
WARNING: BLOOD LOSS IMMINENT. SUPER POTION REQUIRED TO HEAL.





14
13

    Amazing gifs! 👏🏻👏🏻

    I had fun laughing throughout the surgery scene. If only it had adequate ligthing like these game gifs, and the camera was not shaking so much, I would have enjoyed it more.

    VB cameraman really loves to shake the camera, while the lighting guy dislike to turn on lights. A combo I hope we will see less off. I want to see the ‘fantastic’, ‘mesmerizing’ and ‘magical’ scenes clearly without needing to squint my eyes.

    6
    3

    Love the gifs here! Also love the description of that surgery. I was snorting in disbelief the whole time.
    There were no medical supplies but somehow he found the gloves and needle for stitching?
    Oh the whole scene was so over the top….
    thanks for helping make the scene better!

    3
    0

    High five through the bars, Sic. Hii…iiiggh… Fi..ii..ii..vv..eee…
    [flat line]

    3
    1

      lol……. I’m supposed to be working so I take a break and see what has been posted.
      Then I can’t stop giggling…
      so is everyone going to watch this weekend and see how they do a blood transfusion without any tools?
      gah

      2
      1

        Ooohh, I ain’t watching, stpauligurl. Not even if you pay me. Okay.. maybe if you give me a million $$. But why would you do that, right? That’s just absurd like this show.
        I will be watching Pegasus! Yeaaahh…

        1
        1

          ha ha @msrabbit – this show is more like a train wreck that is so absurd I can’t stop watching – just to see how much worse it can get. Also then I’ll understand Sic’s sh*tposts better.

          Pegasus Market – now that I’m watching because I LOVE it! In fact I stopped watching last week so I can have last week and this week’s episodes to watch this weekend.
          *Satu* Ms Rabbit!!!

          2
          1

    And is that tomato they throw in (re: last gif)? Well, that explains a lot….

    0
    1

You know who else exists? Lee Jae Wook. In this outfit.
Dunno who Baek Kyung is, someone very badly written if I had to guess.
But Lee Jae Wook accessorized like a fine wine? That I know.


20
17

Extraordinary You Episode 6 was… *nose scrunches* *humphs*
Oh well. At least Rowoon exists.



15
6

Well I don’t really know what happened at all in this episode of Extraordinary You but I liked it more than episode 4 so 👍.
Been mildly obsessed with RADWIMPS and Makoto Shinkai animation over the past two days slash am always mildly obsessed with them *can he animate my life please* so here:

11
7

Hey, no, smirking is illegal.

22
4

Me @Baek Kyung
(and Lee Jae Wook)

11
0

VAGABOND Episode 7 Sh☠️tpost

HOW TO FORCE ROMANTIC TENSION: Vagabond Edition

1) Get Drunk. That just seems like the right thing to do.
2) Instead of having a break down because you just killed someone this morning and you might be struggling with the moral complexities of that and that would be way too realistic of this very unrealistic show, inappropriately kiss the guy who doesnโ€™t like you.
3) This will make him like you.
4) Apparently.
5) It shouldnโ€™t? But it will.
6) He now finds your presence Hashtag Awkward.
7) Because of the kiss.
8) Donโ€™t worry heโ€™ll ignore you for like a week but this is because heโ€™s now magically attracted to you, then you can go find him!
9) Get him to teach you judo because that way you can get really up and close and in each otherโ€™s faces and we can pretend that there is now Hashtag Sexual Tension, instead of Hashtag Tension Between Sicarius and Her Relative Insanity.
10) Tell the DJ to play the most cheesy romantic-shamntic song he can find during this judo fight/lesson.
11) MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 100 BONUS XP POINTS ACQUIRED.
12) Applaud yourself for forcing a romance onto characters that donโ€™t need it because Hashtag Kdrama and Hashtag Fan service.
13) Applaud yourself for making Sicarius look forward to this hot mess every week in spite of everything you just did.
14) Turn your show into a romantic comedy to justify bad trope writing.
15) Do not under any circumstances try these steps at home. Or ever. Just donโ€™t do them in the first place actually.

VAGABOND RPG NOTES:
MISSION: FIND DEAD REPORTER suspended. You have chosen MISSION: ROMANTIC SUBPLOT instead. ENDLESS SIDE QUESTS have now been unlocked. Please proceed with caution.

18
27

An In-depth And Very Necessary Analysis of the Nokdu Episode 5 Kiss Scene:

So this only has 9 cuts in it but it’s also only like 20 seconds, so that’s still too many.
I still don’t understand why the staple direction for Kdrama kisses is 8 cameras, 20 cut scenes, and God only knows what kind of awkward lack of lip action and clutching and eyes open and… ugh…
Like I just don’t think it’s hard to direct a good kiss scene.

So I, CLEARLY a professional and this field, have decided to edit this scene, to make it better. Not physically edit it, as I do not have access to some extremely pretty Koreans, one of whom is in a state of half undress, but I’m sure your imaginations will work just FINE.

Sicarius’ Purely Technical Edit (id est canon thematic and character development is ignored)

1) First of all, I would’ve had him say “Because I like you”, not “I like you, that’s why”, in the dialogue before hand. I just think it has more emotional impact.

2) In this case, I would honestly only have about three cuts. Remember every new camera angle is usually a whole new take (which is just WAY too much work ahhh)
Cut 1- I would start at that long shot, and film the whole second half of the conversation prior at that mid distance.
You don’t NEED a close up every time someone talks. Shocking but true.
Cut 2- Basically using the same angle as cut 3 of the one in the show, but a little closer, I would have him move in way slower.
Do you know those kisses that are slow and intimate but not frakking awkward?
It’s hard to explain without an example (think Live Up To Your Name) but see here at about cut 5 he’s like weirdly nibbling on her lip?? like NO, just one kiss, one movement, one camera angle, you go in, you hold it, put some damn pressure on it, hold it a bit longer, and then you move out, and stare deeply and intently into each others eyes and THEN you finish your line about about whatever it was about, and you stay in close because #TexualTension.
Cut 3- would be a close up as you’re moving out and staring at each other, faces close to each other.
AND THAT’S ALL YOU NEED.
Not all this other shit.

(Bonus: For the second move in, I’d stay in close, and then the banging of the door, everyone freezes, and then in ONE SMOOTH SHOT, cos I’m a fancy bitch, move out to see their shocked faces, then do a hidden cut pan (so make it look like you panned round real fast, but it’s actually a cut) to the dude in the door way, then the same thing back to the leads to give a sense of SPACE.)

Thus Ends PD-nim Sicarius’s First Tutorial on How to Direct Good Kiss Scenes.


17
9

Me last week during Nokdu: Is that Woozi singing? Did he get his own OST? Ahh I’ll have to check sometime
Me: *forgets to check*
My Youtube feed this morning:
Me after being distracted AF AND ONLY CLICKING BECAUSE OF THE THUMBNAIL: Oh it IS Woozi. I

11
5

She’s the Heroin? That explains a lot you know…

13
16

    This makes so much sense.

    4
    1

    When I see heroin…I think of heroin the drug. Haeri is quite numbing to watch.

    7
    2

      That would be because heroin IS the drug… Heroine is a woman noted for courageous acts or nobility of character…
      The subber is really doing an A+ job of making us have confidence in Hae Ri’s characterization, aren’t they ๐Ÿ˜‰

      7
      0

      Lolol. Lucky for you you didn’t post this on Open Thread. The Suzy fangirls will be at your throat before you can say FXXK. I actually think she’s improved a lot. At least she doesn’t zone out. IU used to zone out at the most inappropriate parts, like when Wang So was baring his soul to her, camera shifted to her face, and it was just – blank. I stare at Suzy’s face when the agents are poring over the screens and talking cool super agent stuff, and she looks suitably worried, and very pretty. Quite impressive.

      On an aside, I was shocked at the graphic heroin scenes. Not. Appropriate. Do they drink lots of water when they are in the throes of addiction? It was just disgusting to watch. Along with tying women up, and abusing them like in Strong Woman.

      2
      1

        It’s been 8 episodes and my opinion of Suzy is the same as it was before, when I hadn’t seen her in anything, and that is “I don’t care”.

        IU… was terrible in Moon Lovers. And it wasn’t just the writing and directing and her character being a wet dishrag. If she was as good as she is now, back then, she’d at least have tried to not look like a deer caught in the headlights.
        Oh well, good to know both woman have improved.

        The heroin scenes actually shocked me a bit too, but not because I find them hard to watch but because Korea is SO ANTI DRUG I’m surprised they put it in there at all.
        The torture scene made me laugh because it was so out of place and so dark all of a sudden. And I couldn’t take it seriously.

        0
        1

    This made me facepalm while watching. This is also the subber, when someone yells “aahhhhhhhhhh!” he/she translates as “F******CK!”. 🤷‍♀️

    4
    1

    Damn. I feel so dumb. I thought, actually thought Suzy was the lead. What a twist.

    4
    0

He said it. Not me.

11
8

Just when you think Vagabond can\’t get any more ridiculous or crazy it goes \”oh no you thought I couldn\’t one up myself? THINK AGAIN, PEASANT\”.

7
3

YOU DID IT @YYISHERE YOU DID IT NO LONGER WILL CANDY TORMENT CEO NIM NO LONGER IS YOUR PLIGHT THAT OF AN ERRAND BOY GIRL WE NEED A CELEBRATION

17
5

    Yay!!!🎉🎉🎉🎉

    5
    0

    I think we all need to write an installment of the story of how she got to her rooftop rom before poor hot-cold CEO really falls for her.

    3
    1

      Candy is forever frozen running, with CH following…poor Candy.

      2
      0

    Yayyyy!!!! I couldn’t believe it. I read the words: ROOFTOP ROOM DWELLER over and over…such a mouthful compared to ERRAND BOY, bah! And then I started crying cutely, and then I realised, I can’t be cute anymore, because I did it, I left my candihood behind!!! So I stopped crying!

    2
    1

Is it Saturday yet? Because I\’m bored and want the next episode of Vagabond already.

9
6

That Nokdu Cliff Hanger though.

7
1

*listens to Jazz and Classical all afternoon*
*hears 10 seconds of a pop song*
*and it’s stuck*
*and on repeat*
*yeahp*
>_>

8
0

An excerpt of my irl Unnie’s Adventures In Dramaland.
She binged Sassy Go Go in like a day. 😂😂😂

21
5

My sister had surgery the other day and has to do nothing for 6 weeks, so I gave her some Kdrama to watch. Started her off with Sassy Go Go and Healer and now she\’s sending me live text updates whilst watching SGG and it\’s the best thing ever. I keep having to contain myself from fangirling from fear of giving her spoilers.
I told her to ring me when she\’s finished so I can spaz LMAO.
@lugirl131415 so you might just get that SGG gush.

22
1

Vagabond Episode 5+6 Sh☠️tpost

— VAGABOND RPG PLAY BY PLAY LOG —

MISSION 5: AMBULANCE CRASH
STATUS: COMPLETE
LIVES: 5.5
NOTES: ARMOUR: Steel Spine damaged; POTION required to heal

MISSION 6: BLUE HOUSE BREAK IN (TALK TO PRESIDENT OF KOREA)

DAL GEON’S GUIDE TO BREAKING INTO THE BLUE HOUSE (illustration supplied):
1) Respawn at Tour Bus
2) Steal a Child to increase XP
*ITEM ON BUS LOCATED_
ITEM ACQUIRED: PIXIE DUST*
3) Dazzle tour guide with Pixie Dust and escape out window
4) Retrieve stashed ITEM: Unicorn under the Large Oak Tree
5) Kiss a random girl to increase health bar by half a heart
6) Invoke SKILL: Monkey King to parkour into Blue House second level
7) Use ITEM: Unicorn/_Lazer to take out guards on staircase
PRESIDENT HAS ENTERED
TALK?_
PRESIDENT HAS HEARD REQUEST. PLEASE HEAD TO SAFE HOUSE
8) Report Mission success to Leprechaun Overlord.

STATUS: COMPLETE
NOTES: 1.5 lives lost to fight with guards. ITEM: Unicorn/_Lazer one time item only. No POTIONS acquired.

MISSION 7: SAFE HOUSE FIGHT
STATUS: COMPLETE
LIVES: 4.5
NOTES: ARMOUR: Head of Stone- Upgraded

NEXT MISSION:
FIND JOURNALIST
WARNING:
HEALTH LOW_
PLEASE FIND HEALTH CHECK POINT OR POTION SOON_ |

16
27

SPECIAL ANNOUNCMENT FROM THE ROYAL CRIER OF MELONIA

HEAR YE HEAR YE

LADIES, GENTLEMAN AND BEANIES

THE QUEEN IS GOING ON TOUR.

Where to, you ask?
TO THE FAR, FAR, FAAAR AWAY LAND OF WELLYWOOD (Wellington)

She embarks on this tour with TWO QUESTS in mind.
1) To meet the ILLUSTRIOUS AND FAIR @babybeast, in HRH\’s first EVER Beanie meet up.
2) To FIND and TASTE the ELUSIVE COCONUT MELONA in all its haunting glory.

This day, ladies and gentlemen, platypi and noodles, fair subjects and allies to the Crown, has been a LONG time coming! The Queen has DREAMT of this elusive melona species for her entire REIGN. It has haunted her every waking moment, and now, the day draws near.

The date of this EXTRAVAGANT Royal Tour is the 5th to the 7th of November 2019 in the Year of Our LORD!
Mark your calendars friends and foes, (you too matchmakers), for this will be mark a week of CELEBRATION across all nations, that Her Royal Highness, Sicarius Queen of Melonia, First of that Name, hopes you can all enjoy with her.

SALUTATIONS
AND GOOD NIGHT

29
13