Beanie level: Errand boy

I know we are past Music March Madness but I wanted to share this with the beanies all over the world just ‘beaning’ along. Stay well everyone!

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March music mayhem madness day 31

Well I haven’t posted much this month. I think just been too busy trying to NOT read the news and NOT be scared – but at the same time feel grateful for everything – especially having a job I could do from home.
Not any more – yesterday was my last day and now I’m officially unemployed and trying not to get too worried. HAH
Driving home from the office where I had to return my laptop and clean out my desk I was thinking hmm what song can I post on the last day that would reflect how I am?

Then someone sent me this silly silly version of a long-loved song, and I KNEW what to share.
Unfortunately the fact that they are all crowded together through the whole song makes me kind of nuts… but that is our new normal isn’t it?

So enjoy this as much as I did.

And please stay safe and healthy!

Just had to share this… it reminds me of some conversations about clams ;-).
(read the comments)

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March Music Mayhem Day 17

Some years ago a friend described opera as music that is ‘pure emotion’ and that is why people love it. I didn’t get it at the time and honestly the only opera I can listen to at this point is anything by Puccini. But I digress…

3 or 4 years ago when I started listening to Kpop – I was just listening and enjoying the tunes and beats and sounds of their voices.
Then one day this song came on my iTunes feed.

“Stay As You Are” by Sandeul.

I didn’t know what he was singing – but when I listened I found myself in tears every single time.
So I looked it up to see what he was saying and these were the lyrics:
————-
I still don’t know who it is
Although I have an image drawn out
But I’m not worried that you’ll be different
From what I imagined
Even if I can’t do anything
My days aren’t at a waste
Because time has to pass
In order for me to meet you
So I can recognize you
You, who I’ve never seen before
When I finally meet you, on a day I can’t predict
When we finally become a “we”
So I won’t just pass by you
So I can recognize you
Please stay that way
———-

There are more lyrics

But the feeling and the longing in this song really spoke to me even though I didn’t know what they were.
And finally I understood what my friend meant by music being pure emotion.

And now when people ask what I’m listening to I tell them “my form of opera”
May you all feel deeply and richly and somehow find the person who loves you
just the way you are.

Happy Tuesday to all you Beanies everywhere!

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Music March Mayhem Day 14

A very long time ago, I think it was around 2002 or 2003 I worked in a small R&D office that was 2 blocks from a local library, and I would go there on my lunch hour a few times during the week.
At one point I started looking at the CDs and discovered they had a section called “World Music” which caught my interest. And so I looked through it and took some back to my desk to listen to as I worked.

This is when I discovered Afro Celt Sound System – I don’t remember what album it was but I LOVED it and after that looked for more in the World Music collection. This led me to discover such wonders as Angelic Kidjo and Baaba Maal, ,and I never looked back.

Which is why I think I’ve loved kpop and many indie Korean Musicians. My iTunes list includes so much fun music, from Yo Yo Ma, to Japanese Pop to Bonnie Raitt and Justin Timberlake among all my Korean artists such as Standing Egg, Hoody, Dean and Verbal Jint to name a few.
But when this song comes on I always stop and want to thank them for being such a wonderful group.
If you haven’t heard them they have collaborated with the likes of Peter Gabriel and Sinead O’Connor with fabulous results.

So I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
Stay safe and wash your hands everyone!!!

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    Oooh I like this! I used to be the same – just wander the music stacks at the library and try whatever caught my eye. It’s led to a very eclectic music library that can be a bit jarring when I put it on random.

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      Thanks – I’m glad you like it, and not at all surprised that you would like it too!

      It’s hard to share my music with others as they just don’t get how wonderful music is from around the world. Especially this group.
      So I enjoy it all on my own….

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    I love it! It reminds me a little of the Alt J songs I like and oddly, James Taylor.

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March Madness Music Mayhem..
Right now the news is so scary around the world and I can hardly deal with it all. And usually I end up watching these two cuties. The song Acapella by Karmin is boss!!!

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    I still squeed so hard watching them together and then I got sad because I miss them so much 😭😭🤣

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    This song was one of the ones that got me through my first year of law school. (Actually, everything on this album was great.)

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      I hadn’t heard Karmin before this video, then looked her up and I too LOVE this album.. Yep it’s fun!!

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    Lol! It’s so fun to watch such videos!

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This is dedicated to @isthatacorner.
Many years ago I started a contract job at a large corporate office in downtown Minneapolis. At the end of first day I remember thinking:
“I’ve made a HUGE mistake”
So taking the bus to work I listened to this song by Rascal Flatts repeatedly while on the bus and walking into the building. Sometimes we have to sing ourselves into feeling stronger.
The job only lasted 3 months, but today looking for it I realized how much music has helped me over the years in so many ways.
Things are frustrating and hard at work for you – but we all know here that you have what it takes to be successful and recognized. If your co-workers could see how much all of us Beanies love your posts and love you then maybe they’d know what we know.
As a librarian and I consider libraries holy places.
YOU ROCK!!!

Happy 4th day of March.
I’m a bit late to the party, but still I’ve been enjoying the posts and all the different music!

My family was always musical because of my mother I. She wanted to become a professional singer, until she met my dad, fell in love and ended up with 9 kids instead. So she was a choir director at our catholic church. And she sang in community choirs. But mostly she trained all of us kids to sing – in 4-part harmony! We even had a grace that she arranged from a prayer and a piece of music, and when the family would all be together we’d sing it. At her funeral we all stood up and sang it for her.
I’m hearing it as I type this now.

My dad also loved music but he was always working to provide for a big family. However as a result she and my father LOVED musicals and movies with lots of music and dancing. So I too grew up with a love of music and especially good choreography.

So many movies have stayed with me because of the music and led me to seek out other artists. That is how most of the Korean pop music has been added to my playlist. From one kdrama I would be mesmerized by a song and then find other artists who are similar. So my taste in music has been quite diverse.

But mainly first and foremost – I love music that makes me want to dance. Yesterday @maybemaknae wrote a wonderful post about music and dancing. And I ended up watching music videos on Youtube for *cough* a little while.
But as a result I wanted to share this one with all of you. Except for the ones with Fred Astaire (I’m not THAT old) I saw most of these movies at the time and loved them!

So here’s to you all having a good day where you have a song in your heart or a lilt to your step at some point.

Love, Music March!

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Missing everyone\’s posts about Love February. How can we get the powers at DB to clean up the BOTS? arrrrhrhrhrhrhhggg
love February!

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It’s Friday (whew) and one more day to take a deep breath and start the long drive to work. Yesterday I played this over and over and felt STRONG!!!
Love February

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2/12/2020

As an adolescent depressed high school student I used to sit in the park by the school grounds
I’d ponder the meaning of my life and why should I keep on with it
Instead I wrote bad poetry and listened to Joni Mitchell, Miles Davis and Judy Collins

At some point I clearly remember looking and marveling at the trees in that park
No matter what the weather – they all grew upwards – towards the sun
Even if it snowed – the space between their limbs and trunk would hold the flakes of snow
Or the drops of water
Or the leaves that fell in the fall
Through it all I somehow I became a lover of trees of all kinds and shapes

But I didn’t realize it until at one point I saw with surprise that I had so many photos of trees in my portfolio!
I always marvel at them and appreciate their strength when driving down the road, or taking walks
They are all different but still grow pretty much the same – UP

All this is to remind me (again and again it seems) that I still want to always be like a tree
Always reaching upwards ad facing upwards and allow others to take comfort in my shade..
And not be afraid to hold the cold and snow and rain and even the sunshine in my arms.

And so with that
Love February

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    third pic!!!!!!

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      Thanks – I love that shot too. I was coming home on a very cold Sunday morning and drove past this field that was covered with snow and mist. So drove home, grabbed my camera and spent the next hour shooting the trees. It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And what is funny is that I don’t even think I saw those trees intertwined until someone pointed it out to me later.
      so I’m glad you like it.
      I went back there to watch the Solar Eclipse next to those trees 7 months later. (see pic 5)

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    So beautiful! You are good at what you do

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    Gorgeous!

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    These are so lovely! Thank you for sharing them.
    Trees are why I take buses in town. No matter the season, you can look up and see what they are up to. I especially like watching buds develop ever so slowly, getting ready to burst open in spring…!

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    I love this, stunning photos!! Thank you for sharing this, my favourite part of my commute is seeing the sun peak through the trees!

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      *Peek

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      The second photo was taken in 1990 when I was in El Salvador. We were at a camp of refugees who had returned from Honduras where they had run from the military 10 years before. As we were walking around and they were telling us about how they survived I saw this huge tree that was growing out of the stone wall.
      To me this tree always reminds me of hope against experience in that it continued to grow and spread its roots.
      This was taken back when I had a little film camera. it is the only photo I printed myself on 16″ x 20″paper and hangs in my living room to this day.
      It kind of a visual of everything about never giving up..

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        It kind of a visual of everything about never giving up..

        That’s what I thought when I saw it. It’s gone through quite a bit but it’s holding on and enduring, thriving even because if you can still grow with all those rocks pushing at you then you’re doing well right.

        I love all your photos ❤❤

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    beautiful pictures (esp the third one!!) (and the fourth one!!) (and the.. hehehe).
    beautiful words:
    “All this is to remind me (again and again it seems) that I still want to always be like a tree
    Always reaching upwards and facing upwards and allow others to take comfort in my shade.
    And not be afraid to hold the cold and snow and rain and even the sunshine in my arms.”

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      Thank you – this Love February project has really been good for me this month – and for all of us!

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    Thanks for sharing. Amazing!
    I love the fourth one, it’s like a mirror.

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      You are most welcome @eazal that tree is on a lake at a retreat place called Hemingbough in Louisiana. I was there on Easter morning with my good friend for the weekend. I got up early to find the whole area covered with frost and the mist coming off the water and trees was magnificent. The water really was that still and calm.
      This is another one of my favorite places in the world.

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        Oh, Louisiana ❤️
        I left a bit of my heart in South Louisiana when I visited in 2013.
        So I understand why you say you love it.

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    “I still want to always be like a tree
    Always reaching upwards and facing upwards and allow others to take comfort in my shade..”
    beautifully written, you’re already looking in the good direction, may you grow like them too 🙂

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    This is lovely! I had thought about writing about trees for a Love, February post myself. I’m surrounded by trees where I live, and I just love them so so much. I’m staring at a big white oak out my window as I type this. I love the emphasis you put on their upward growth. We really can learn a lot from them.

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Day 11

Driving to work in the early dark and very foggy morning
Hands clenched tight on the steering wheel as I make my way down the freeway
By the time I got to where I was going (45 min later) the fog was clearing
And I marveled at the mist on the foothills of the mountains where the sun was just rising
By then I wasn’t too scared and tense to enjoy the beauty along the road
Driving home 8 hours later in the late afternoon
It was cloudy but clear- and I was taking the back roads home – away from the traffic
Through green fields full of flocks of lazy sheep and jumping lambs
The sun was just beginning to set over the mountains on the west
And I watched hawks fly and swoop overhead to land on the power lines along the road
But this time my hands were not clenched on the wheel but tapping to the music

Yes it can be a stressful commute – but somehow it is still incredibly breathtakingly beautiful
And I am grateful to be here.

Love, February

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Day 9

Starting week 6 at new job. The job itself is great. I like what I’m doing and the people I work with. The pay is even good. The only problem is the stress of the commute and wondering when my old car is going to break down again.

The promised benefits are almost, but not quite non-existent – no paid time off and very little sick time. So if I can’t make it into work for my car or my health I have to take a day off unpaid.
The company does not like contract workers to work remotely which is hard.
Lately I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night and my mind won’t turn off due to the stress….

Then Friday it occurred to me I’ll just take my life back and make it what I want!!! Working on updating my resume again and beginning to reach out to contacts.

Amazing now I sleep like a log and even overslept past my usual times the past two mornings.

So here we go February – I’ll get my life back on track and make sure I find the confidence to demand what I need (not necessarily deserve).

Ready for the new week and new days to come and thanks to all the beanies here and the wonderful positive loving words I get to read every day!

So. Love February!!!

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I can’t get enough of jealous, pouty Hyun Bin. Thank you!
Love February!

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    Thank you for giving me my first laugh of the day while I wait for Ep. 14 to be available!

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This is on my fridge and I read it almost every day. It keeps me going many a day.

The Thing is
To love life, to love it even
When you have no stomach for it
And everything you’ve held dear
Crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
Your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
Thickening the air, heavy as water
More fit for gills than lungs;
When grief weights you like your own flesh
Only more of it, an obesity of grief,
You think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
Between your palms, a plain face,
No charming smile, no violet eyes,
And you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you again.
By Ellen Bass

Love, February

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To all the people I see during my day:
To the homeless person struggling to walk across the road – I see you
To the mom pushing her baby in the cart around the store – I see you and I know you matter
To the admin who works tirelessly in the office – I see you, I know you matter and I want you to know you have value
To the lonely person who doesn’t say much – I feel your pain
you matter in this world
YOU matter in this world
You Matter in this world
YOU MATTER!!!!!

And you have value

Love, February

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Hey Beanies!
Happy February! I’m not a poet or as good a writer as all the other missives – but I’m enjoying them a LOT!

However I need to vent for a little bit and I hope you will put up with me. (I’ll add some new flower photos to help make up for this long rant)

Anyway – remember that new fabulous job I started in January that was going to be better pay with better benefits? Well, yes the pay is better – but I got sold a bill of goods from the company that actually hired me to work as a contractor for this new company.

Long story short – I went up in pay but as a contractor have very little in the way of benefits. I don’t even get any paid holidays or vacation – which I thought I did. And the new company is nice – but the drive has been rough on my 20 year old car and it died last weekend. I had it towed to the shop and they replaced the ignition switch to the tune of over 400$$$$ – which I didn’t have. Then I lost 2 days of work without pay (because I’m a contractor).
However with 4 days at home without a car I spent a lot of time playing with my camera and some flowers I brought home.

The drive isn’t bad, but when the weather isn’t good as in raining hard – the drive on the freeway is VERY tense. No amount of kpop on my phone helps…

I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night in a rage about this situation as I feel like I went back to my life 5 years ago…
The company sent an email asking for my feedback on them – and boy did they get it. I told them that either the recruiter lied to me or they didn’t train her well OR it was their intent.

I just need to get through this month to get back on my feet, but I’m not sure if I should contact my previous employer and go back to where I was.
The new company likes me and what I’m doing but they are in a hiring freeze – even though my boss said she sees this as a permanent position. yeah, well…..
And no matter how nice they are, the contractors aren’t even on the company-wide distribution list. Who does that?

Anyway – I don’t know if I should say something to my boss at this company and tell her that maybe they should start looking for another writer – or wait to see how my contracting company responds to my missive.

I feel stuck and angry and broke….. and it pisses me off. Apparently the job that sounded too good to be true – was just that – too good to be true.

Trying to find my big-girl panties when I drive down the freeway in the driving rain amidst all the semis and crazy drivers is turning out to be very hard.
So I’m not a big faith person – but I’m struggling.
Thanks for the lovely poems on love for February!!!!! You beanies are the BEST!

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    I hope that you are able to negotiate a better deal for yourself, or that this opens a new door that is everything it needs to be so that you can put this behind you.
    Your photos are wonderful. Wow!
    I send you all the love, stpauligurl.
    💕

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      Thank you @rukia – the past couple of weeks have been hard – but I’m trying hard to make it into a good experience.
      Today I’m going to my brother’s house to watch the Superbowl, and stay with him until Tuesday. It will be nice not to put all those miles on my car. And I get to see him!
      I was thrilled with how the photos turned out! it was all natural light from a skylight and a black background..

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        So gorgeous!
        I am so glad that you are going to be with your brother today and for a few days. I hope that you are spoiled.
        Your photos are really beautiful. I am in awe.!
        Sends more love.. 💕

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          He spoils me with love, good food, alcohol, conversation, and total NON-judgement!!! He’s a good older brother.

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    What gorgeous photos! I am so sorry that you are having this experience at work. I will pray for encouragement, and a better situation.

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      Thank you! Yes we all had such high hopes it would be better. My old boss said that everyone was so sad to see me go and are also upset at how it turned out.
      But hey – I’ll take all the encouragement (and prayers) I can get!

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    Awww.. sorry to hear of your situation. ☹ From the sound of it, this doesn’t seem to be sustainable for the long run. A hard decision to make. I am a believer of faith and believe that if all doors seem to be closed, God will open a window somewhere.

    And those pictures are gorgeous! Thank you for sharing.

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    thank you for those beautiful flowers 😀
    hoping that your situation will get better and bloom like them , having these current struggles as black curtain in the past background for making you shine even more <3
    hwaiting <3

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    Beautiful photos, thanks for sharing.

    I hope your situation gets better, that you can make a better deal. At least, make this job an opportunity to get another one with better conditions.

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      Thanks – I try to take something from each situation as “yes I want to keep doing that” or “NOPE been there done that and don’t want to do it ever again.” If I can’t learn from each experience I have, then what’s the point?

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    Tbh, at first I was confused to see all these “Love, February” posts and felt kinda stupid to for not knowing what was going on but when I read Beanies’ posts one by one I felt a lot closer to them! Those letters made me think about my life, my current situation, my family.. the things I’m thankful for and the ones I need to fix.
    I think I still don’t know the real concept of this beautiful wave but I’m happy that I’m here to read them.
    Thank you for sharing. Nothing is more terrifying than feeling like there has been no progress but nobody knows about tomorrow! I wish you better days dear💜
    And god! Those pictures!
    That tulip stole my heart♥️

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    I’m sorry to hear about what’s happening with work. I hope they they take your feedback to heart but if they’re unable to change anything maybe this is just a short detour while a much better job opens up. Thank you for sharing your photos too, these are beautiful 😊

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      Thanks @moomoomoondog – I’m curious to see if there is any reaction to my ‘survey’ . Still wondering if I need to call the recruiter and let her know of my *cough* disatisfaction…..

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        Probably not until you feel out all the options for other work.

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          yep – absolutely will not make any moves until I have checked all other options.

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    I’m sorry about your work situation. I hope that whatever decision you make leads you to a place where you can bloom and thrive the most.

    Those photos are absolutely beautiful 😍. Thank you.

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    The photos are gorgeous!

    About the too good to be true employer, I’m outraged on your behalf! If you consider the time to work and back, plus the costs in gas and wear and tear on your car, is it worth the increase in pay? Is anyone there willing to put the opportunity for future full time employment in writing? I hope what ever you decide, it works out in your favor.

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      Thanks for the compliment – in all honesty, I’m not sure the extra $$ is worth the stress right now. But the folks at my old job know and I might reach out to my recruiter where I worked before. They all told me I could come back any time. sigh…….

      I forgot to say that I saw two bald eagles flying overhead this week while on my commute. that was pretty darned cool!
      does that make me easily entertained?

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    Beautiful photos !

    Hope the work situation will get better soon, whether you find another job or go back to the previous one. Hang in there until then! I’m crossing fingers and toes for you.

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Apparently I needed to hear these words today and I can’t stop listening.
To all you Beanies who need to hear ‘you are okay’ and to ‘trust and love yourself’ … here’s to you!

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This clip reminds me of the conversations on our beanie walls. Stephen Colbert in New Zealand is gold!
Wish I could remember everyone’s names like @egads, @msrabbit, @azzo1, among others. Enjoy!

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    I love Stephen!

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    I once made a trip to Washington DC and a friend of mine made me stop by the Museum of Potrait to take picture of his potrait, which allegedly got hung in the museum through much nagging. So they hung his picture in front of the restrooms. That’s my first exposure of Stephen Colbert. 😋

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    “Am I supposed to see me when I’m invisible?” That’s one question I want to know the answer to 😂

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      As they went through all those storylines and added here and there it reminded me so much of how the beanies have had so much fun with Mr Sticky and added (or maybe usurped/overtaken) more storylines that are so much fun!

      All I can say is they must have had a ball making that ‘trailer’!

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Looking for the latest special episode on We TV and found this. Wept through the last half of it. Who doesn’t want to be loved, and treasured, and respected for who you are? love love love this