When the Weather is Nice is so beautiful. I love Eun Seob’s private blog posts. They are so lovely and heartfelt. I didn’t know how much I needed this drama, but it soothes my heart. ❤

Day 8: Worst NOPT

(THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS)

This was a really easy one because I don’t think any OTP can be worse than Ling Yi Zhou and Xia Lin from Well Intended Love. This was not a romance but a horror pretending to be a romance. This drama felt like the biography of an abused woman and was really disturbing to watch.

The ML Ling Yi Zhou is super controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. He tries and succeeds to control and exert his power over the FL countless times throughout the drama. Xia Lin is an aspiring actress who has only been able to get small side roles so far, but she finally gets her break to play a large role in an upcoming drama. But Yi Zhou doesn’t like how close she is to her co-actor, so out of jealousy and a powerful need to control her, he uses his influence and power to get the drama shut down, ruining her big break. Since she is an aspiring actress she didn’t want to go public with her relationship, fearing to be the center of gossip since he is a powerful and popular CEO. But he goes behind her back and manipulates things to “accidentally” reveal to the world they are married. At another point he (of course) gets amnesia and is cruel and awful to her since he can’t remember this is the woman he loves.

But all this isn’t even the worst part. The worst part is the whole premise of the drama. The drama starts by her finding out she has lymphoma and discovers the only compatible bone marrow donor is him. So she confronts him asking if he would be willing to be a donor and save her life. He leads her on a merry chase before agreeing with the added stipulation that they enter a marriage contract because it is his dying grandmothers wish that he marry before she passes. This is all fine, until you discover later on that she never had cancer, he used his power and influence to fake she had cancer and he was the only donor to get her to marry him. This was beyond horrifying. What normal human being makes the person you like have fake cancer as a ploy to date and marry? He is this powerful CEO who could have any woman he wants but it never crossed his mind to simply talk to her and get to know her. On top of all this, when she sensibly tries to break up with him, he locks her in the house so she won’t leave him. Do yourself a favor and don’t watch this drama.

Normally I post pictures to accompany my posts, but I don’t want to mar my wall by posting images of this drama.

Honorable Mentions: Playful Kiss

Day 7: Favorite OTP

One of my favorite OTP would have to be Han Ji Hoon and Kang Hye Soo from Marriage Contract. What started as a marriage of convenience and personal gain, turned into a heartbreakingly beautiful romance. She needed someone who could take care of her daughter when she passed and he needed a donor for his mother. The love that blossomed between him and her and also between Han Ji Hoon and his stepdaughter was lovely. And even though he comes to learn that the woman he is falling desperately in love with is dying, it doesn\’t stop him from staying with her, because even that small amount of time is better than not having any time at all. They experienced heartache, pain, love and happiness together and both had the courage to give it their all and not let the future hold them back from happiness.

\”I don\’t know how much time is granted to us. It could be a year and it could be a month. It\’s possible that it could be tomorrow, too. But as for me, I will live without the likes of regret anymore. Hence, there is only one thing I can do now. I love you, Hye Soo-ya. I love you. I love you. Without a minute or a second\’s rest, I love you.\”

Honorable Mentions: WangXian from The Untamed

I\’m only 5 episodes in but I\’ll Find You When The Weather Is Nice is such a beautiful and pleasant drama that gives me such deep feelings of warmth and comfort. It has a low-key story with not much drama or conflict, which isn\’t the type of drama I typically gravitate to, but it\’s so soothing. I love Eun Seob, and as @pinklolipop aptly put it, he is like a warm blanket. He is awkward and sweet and is quietly there for Hae Won. He stands by her side without expecting anything in return or pushing her. A quiet pillar of warmth and comfort. The drama knows how to create a mood as whenever I watch I want to grab a book, a hot cup of hot chocolate and curl on a couch with a blanket in his cozy bookstore. I really recommend this heartwarming drama and hope it continues being this enjoyable.

Day 6: Favorite Femald Lead

This was an easy choice for me because Wei Yingluo from Story of Yanxi Palace is such an awesome FL. The drama follows the life of Yingluo from her entering the palace as a lowly maidservant in search for answers to her sisters death, to becoming one of the most powerful and influential women in the country. I absolutely love this drama as it is all about the women, and especially the kickass Yingluo. Even though many people (especially the other consorts) plot against her, or those she cares about, she manages to use her incredible intelligence and wits to outmaneuver them and come out on top. She will have setbacks or she will fall to others plots, but that doesn\’t stop her from striving forward. There were many times her actions or plots had me fist pumping when she came out victorious. She is extremely intelligent, loyal, wily kind, driven, vicious, powerful and awesome.

Honorable Mentions: Cha Hyeon (Scarlett) from Search: WWW, Veronica from Secret Life of My Secretary and Sheng Ming Lan from Story of Ming Lan

Day 5: Favorite Male Lead

I was trying to stay away from it because I already know it will show up multiple times on my 30 day drama challenge but I just can\’t. In the end my favorite male lead is Wei Wuxian from The Untamed. His character is one of the main reasons I fell in love with the drama and what initially got me to stick around and then what got me addicted. His outgoing and playful attitude, his intelligence, his loyalty, hidden darkness, kindness and goodness. The drama is primarily about his life and the challenges he faces from when he is a promising teenager to being one of the most infamously hated people. Through it all, the heartbreak and loss, the betrayals and pain, he doesn\’t let it drag him down. He retains his innate goodness and outgoing and happy personality. The drama (and novel) could have easily made his character gloomy and depressed after all the pain he suffered but I am so glad it didn\’t go that way. His character, story and romance was a joy to watch and all his interactions with the characters around him.

Honorable Mentions: Runyu from Ashes of Love, Ye Hua from Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms, Park Soo-ha from I Can Hear Your Voice and Seo Jung-Hoo from Healer

(Images from ohsehuns)

I am a little behind so I will play a little catchup on the 30 day Drama Challenge.

Day 1: Favorite Kdrama

This is a really hard one for me as I have a lot of favorites but in the end I have to go with Gaksital (Bridal Mask). I watched all of this drama with my sister and even though she was into the drama right from the start it took me a good about 10 episodes before I started to really enjoy the drama. I\’m glad I was watching with my sister because I would have dropped it if I wasn\’t watching with her. But once I got into the drama, I was in deep. The drama gave me so many deep feels from the shattered friendship to the struggles and pain the characters went through in their fight for their beliefs. The drama definitely had its flaws, with the character of Oh Mok-dan and her being one of the reasons for the friends turning into enemies being one of my biggest issues with the drama. But this drama gave me so many deep feels that I am able to look over the flaws and is a drama that will forever hold a place in my heart.

Honorable Mentions: I Can Hear Your Voice, Healer and Princess\’ Man

Day 2: Favorite Cdrama

I\’m sure if anyone knows me they will know that my favorite cdrama is The Untamed. I have never had any drama have such an impact on me before. I am not someone who fangirls but this is the first drama that made me go into full fangirl mode. It\’s what got me to finally get on the fanwall (I had to express my love somewhere) and later find my chaos sisters on discord. I spent many hours posting long essays about this drama, watching YT videos, watching BTS, and scouring the web for images and information. I even read the novel and rewatched for a 2nd time all within a month span. Even though this drama also had its flaws, it gave me such intense feelings that all flaws are forgotten and ignored. I can\’t even put into words how much this drama affected me. I typically move on from dramas pretty quickly, or if they are favorites, I might linger for a week or 2. This one took a good 4 months before I finally settled my feelings and was able to move on from this beautiful story. But even if I\’ve moved on this drama will forever be dear to me.

Honorable Mentions: Ashes of Love, Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (Eternal Love) and Nirvana in Fire

Day 3: Favorite Tdrama

I know this is supposed to be favorite Jdrama but since I\’ve never been able to finish one I will instead give my favorite Tdrama (Taiwanese).

I\’ve not seen a lot of Tdramas but this one is pretty easy for me to choose which is Someday or One Day. This drama was so well produced, and acted and written. The various characters in both the past and present were riveting and pulled you into their stories. The personal struggles each character went through for both happiness and love were beautifully written and portrayed. I was with each of these characters in their various incarnations. And the time travel felt different and unique. Ultimately this was a drama about the characters and not about the fantasy. It also introduced me to the very attractive and talented Greg Han. The fact he has only had side character roles so far is a crime.

Honorable Mentions: Before We Get Married

Day 4: First Drama Ever Watched

Finally, an easy answer! My first drama ever, which is probably the same for a lot of Beanies, is Boys Over Flowers. At the time Hulu (a streaming platform in the US) kept suggesting these things called kdramas to me but they looked silly and like soap operas. But BoF caught my eye because it was a live action of one of my favorite anime and manga from years before, Hana Yori Dango. So I decided why not, let\’s see why I keep being suggested this drama. While I was on the 2nd episode my little brother (who was about 16 or 17 at the time) visited me and saw me watching so he sat down with me. I told him it\’s silly and the actress is bad but it was weirdly addictive. 2 days later we had binged this entire drama. We locked ourselves into a hot bedroom and didn\’t come out except for necessities. My brother had taken on the habit of yelling \”Gu Jun-pyo\” at the top of his lungs at the TV (initially out of hate and then out of love). It was not a good drama but it was the drama that started it all. So for that alone I will always love this drama (but don\’t ever ask me to rewatch this).

Might be an unpopular opinion but The King ep 2 is ridiculous. Do women really swarm attractive men at libraries? Openly take pictures of them? Do children mock paralyzed children in front of their mothers? Why is the antagonist so over the top? Why is the Prime Minister not shown as an awesome, intelligent and strong political figure, but just some thirsty woman wanting to be romantically associated with the King? If you came from a parallel universe would it really make sense to constantly talk about being from a parallel universe? And to cops of all people.

And I\’m sorry but King Tan is super cringy and boring. I\’m guessing he is supposed to be swoony but he comes off like a creepy stalker.

And both episodes had the worst endings. 🙄

So far the only saving grace is KGE, Maximus the horse, WDH\’s beautiful face and the plate of fried chicken.

First episode of The King. There were too few scenes of Woo Do Hwan. Which is weird as he is clearly the main character and the whole reason everyone is planning to watch this drama. The horse Maximus got more scenes. I mean he is a very beautiful horse so I don\’t blame the drama giving him so much screentime. But Hwannie is a very beautiful man so why not also give him more screentime?

Did everyone see the scene where the horse shied away from Hwannie? It was clearly jealous to have been so blatantly confronted by another stunningly beautiful beast.

Someone call an ambulance. I\’m officially dead 💀 The victory kiss in Skate into Love was one of the best and most swoon-worthy public confessions in a drama ever. It was so SO perfect. From her rushing down the bleachers almost in tears from joy, his grin when he sees she will honor the promise, ripping his helmet and gloves off in determination, princess carrying her across the ice and then the killer kiss to finish it off. Stop trying to swoon me to death drama!! ❤

(Image courtesy of the wonderfully dedicated fangirl @13infamyss)

It’s the weekend which means it’s time to bing-binge! #SkateIntoLove #IceGod 😍

If anyone is looking for a sweet, fun and swoon-worthy OTP, I highly suggest Skate into Love. It’s pure love and adorable. I love Master Tang and Bing-Bing and love them together even more ❤️

If DB wants tons of donations all they have to do is add an edit button as a benefit and the donations will just flood in 😉

Time to release some of my worry and stress on all you poor hapless Beanies as it has been a very trying few weeks. Sorry in advance for this long expose into my life.

A few weeks ago my mom went in for a brain surgery that is supposed to be a pretty non-invasive surgery. She has something called trigeminal neuralgia which causes intense and almost constant pain shooting down the right side of your face. She has suffered with this condition for nearly 20 years, but the last few years it has gotten to the point where it was impacting her life. So she decided to go for the brain surgery so she could finally enjoy her retirement. I was of course super worried and stressed about the whole procedure but she kept reassuring me that the doctor has done this procedure a lot and she is in good hands. My mom had told me (and the rest of the family) to not bother taking the day off from work as she would be in the surgery for a few hours and it would be later in the day. My brother, who doesn’t currently work, was there for her so we listened to her and carried on with our normal workday while being kept updated on what was happening from my brother. I am glad I was working as it kept me distracted from the fact my mom was currently undergoing brain surgery. We started to get worried when the estimated timeframe for the surgery to be completed past the hour mark. And then we got the news. During the surgery there were complications. When they tried to wake her she wasn’t really waking, so they did an MRI to see what happened and discovered she had experienced a stroke. Her stroke was a bleeding stroke and she was bleeding out into her skull which was putting pressure on her brain and causing her to be tired and not waking up. So they rushed her back into surgery to drain the blood that was pooling in her skull. The second surgery was successful but they were going to keep her under until the next morning and we wouldn’t know how much damage the stroke had caused until she was awake. It was one of the hardest and most stressful nights I had experienced. I stayed awake most of the night just worrying. The next day she was woken but due to the drugs and the swelling of her brain she was barely aware of what was going on and was mostly in and out of sleep and awareness. She was also in intense pain. I visited her that evening and seeing my strong and independent mom laying in the ICU looking like a shadow of herself broke my heart. I had to go into the back of the room to cry, hoping she wouldn’t hear me. My mom always was strong for me and this time I had to be strong for her.

The next few days were brutal. She could barely keep consciousness and when she was conscious she spent it rolling around the bed in pain. They could only give her fentanyl hourly which is one of the most powerful pain meds but it wears off quickly so they have to give it to her hourly. By Friday she seemed to have been over most of the pain and thankfully she didn’t really remember the last few days, but the effects of the stroke were showing. Due to the location of the bleed and what was impacted by the pooling blood it affected her strength and coordination on her left side and the muscles of the right side of her face. The neurosurgeon felt confident she would regain most, if not all, of her movement and coordination on her left side as that seemed to be mildly impacted, but he wasn’t sure on the right side of her face as that was more seriously impacted. She had problems swallowing, her speech is slurred, her eyesight is now seeing double and she has a pronounced droop on the right side of her face. She was talking a lot but I could only understand about 1 word in a whole conversation. She spent a week in the ICU but was finally able to move to the rehab ward. She will need dedicated therapy for the next 3 weeks to get her into good enough shape for family to be able to take care of her at home.

She is improving every day, especially with her strength on her left side. She has been able to walk a little with some help, her speech is still slurred but it’s clear enough that I can understand pretty much everything she is saying. She still struggles with swallowing so she has been on a feeding tube the last few weeks and has been supplemented with eating pureed food. And the few days following the surgery her right eye closed but now it doesn’t fully close anymore and the doctor has no idea why. She also has a hard time with therapy as she is extremely dizzy. They did another CAT scan a couple days ago to see if she might still have issues that was causing the dizziness but everything was fine. Last weekend she was finally able to text on the phone but has some issues because of her double vision. She also has gotten back into her drama watching (with Arthdal Chronicles of all things!). So she does have some big issues that will either never go away or will take a long time to heal from, but there are also small improvements every day. She has sadly been depressed and morbid at times and is upset she did get the surgery as the pain would have been better than the aftereffect of the stroke. And to add to all this there is the Coronavirus. We decided it was safer to either restrict the visits to 1 person a day or not to visit for the meantime. My mom has told us not to visit but it’s a hard decision for all of us, as I know my mom wants our presence there and I want to be there, but I’m also super worried about her getting the virus because she is very compromised physically right now and I think it would kill her. So ontop of worrying about my mom, I haven’t seen her since Monday and probably won’t see her until she is released from the hospital next Thursday (unless they change her release date). Thankfully she keeps us apprised via text of her status.

And then to add to everything we experienced a 5.7 earthquake Wednesday morning with a few big aftershocks throughout the day. I had been in a 7.8 earthquake as a kid but it still doesn’t get less horrifically terrifying to wake up to everything shaking violently. It’s hard to express just how scary a bigger earthquake is unless you’ve been in one. My mom had to be moved to a different part of the hospital as they didn’t know how structurally sound the old part of the hospital is (where she was originally at). But now I have the worry of an earthquake in mind as we live on a large active fault that has been predicted for many years that a huge earthquake is imminent, and according to seismologists, this one was not it.

And then this morning my sister just told me her work has a confirmed case of someone having the virus.

I have decided that 2020 is a horrible year. Everything seems to be coming crashing down (and not just the dishes from the earthquake) all at once. I just want to go to my mom and hug her tightly and wish everything could go back to where it was just 3 weeks ago. Spending the weekends binge watching dramas with unhealthy takeout. I have come to terms with the situation and am very grateful that she is still the same woman I love dearly and after 30+ years of her caring and taking care of me, it’s now my turn to take care of her.

I do want to thank my fellow discord beanies who have been so loving and caring and supportive and genuinely interested in my mom’s welfare. It has genuinely touched and helped me through these very tough times. I know I’m going to miss some people and I apologize if I do.
@egads @outofthisworld @mayhemf @13infamyss @beasassy @maybemaknae @thetinyl @pinklolipop @yyishere @neener @leetennant @halfmoon @ayaan @chakhanseupeu @peony @waadmay @sicarius @shach @katakwasabi @ally-le @mindy

Please stay safe everyone. You are all in my thoughts ❤️

Happy Valentine\’s Day to all you beautiful Beanies!

\”You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.\” — Buddha

Don\’t ever forget to love yourself, because everyone deserves to be loved, especially you.

Love, February

Why do I always misspell love as live on my phone?

Live, February

Love is my harem of men 😏

Love, February