Beanie level: Rooftop room dweller

Just needed to put this somewhere and I feel like DB and Beanies will always be one of the, if not the,safest site and persons to share thoughts with….

a long time fan,more than 10 years for one and about 10 years for the other.member involved and member that got related to the issue are not my biases.but it still hurts like hell, gets me sad, freaking mad and embarrassed, all at the same time.it feels as if a real life friend did this to me.

no matter how i try to wrap my head around it,with tons of stuff at work and in school, i just feel too exhausted.

listening again to their music will be hard,for the more than 10 year group.it’s like one disappointment after another disappointment.

as for the other,he may or may not be involved, but nonetheless, i had hoped he distanced himself, if and/or when he found out about that disgusting info.

but then again,it was him in the situation,not me. i dont know the full extent of the situation qnd i can’t impose on someone else my own standards.

this hiatus feels like a blessing in disguise. me and the members will have our own break.and i hope as i try to be better and improve myself, they will have time to rest and reassess themselves too.

i still pray and continue to for their health and happiness, but now more so that they and i will have peace of mind.

and maybe, down the line, i can find myself enjoying the music again. without second guessing anyone.

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    *hugs* I have little to no words of comfort to offer mary, just *hugs*. I wish I could hug you in person, but the net will have to suffice. So *hugs*

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    big, tight hugs to you <3 <3 <3

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    I also had similar feelings. It sucks, but we’ll get through this. *hugs*

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    Like a real friend? It shouldn’t. It’s just some pop idol.
    Think about his possible victims and feel glad he may get punished, not about what you thought you knew about some guy you never got close and only had some superficial information.

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      I’m sorry but this was unfair. Some people get betrayed by real friends too. However horrible the act might be, and however sorry one feels for the victims, it doesn’t take away from the feeling of betrayal.

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        Friends can do messy things but it’s ok to feel betrayed because it was a personal relationship. Feeling betrayed because someone thought they really knew a pop idol on a personal level? It’s weird.

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          It’s not weird, though you’re right in the sense that we’re not being honest with ourselves.

          The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols – and you’re forgetting that art is a very powerful thing. K-pop is a visual genre of music + other entertainment. Music alone can be very moving, let alone everything else that comes along with kpop’s music.

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            I’m not forgetting it. It’s all illusion and k variety does almost nothing but feed this industry, which treats both their idols and their fans in a very unfair manner. The idols can’t have real personal lives and fans are led to believe all kinds of silly things just to make them spend more money. They have to know this. Believing that scheme, comparing their feelings to idols with people that exist in their real lives, saying it’s weird isn’t putting it lightly?

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            And to add to how much idols interact with fans.
            All idols are constantly telling their fans they love them etc. The idol-fan culture in Korea is super tight because it’s true that fans play a huge role in the success of an idol.
            Just look at BB for example, since debut they’ve always thanked their fans in SO many ways, have dedicated/written/composed songs for VIPs, have a slogan VIP MADE BIGBANG which is completely accurate. They came from nothing to where they are today AND it’s all thanks to VIPs and both BB and VIPs’ hardwork. During his solo comeback Taeyang had food trucks for all the fans at every music show waiting. Seungri’s slogan, “You’re all my everything, Hyungs are my everything, BIGBANG is my everything.” All the things they do as idols have always been meant to make their fans feel as if they’re too part of this. Their success as a group was our success as well. Heck, to date one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it meant to me, to see him this happy.
            Fans feeling hurt and betrayed is completely understandable. Somewhere down the line Seungri threw away “everything” for the money/power trip or for whatever reasons he did what he did. At some point he WILL regret this for the rest of his life, I know it. And it doesn’t matter if he feels actual remorse because what he did is inexcusable. He will have to face the consequences of his actions. And the fact is that he did, in every sense of the word, betray his fans, his family, his loved ones. It’s tragic.

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            @Lixie
            It’s not all illusion. Yes, it is a way of making money but for a lot of idols and fans alike, the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning. The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me. And idols have shown time and again that their fans mean a lot to them. Like for example, EXO’s Chanyeol has the EXO-L birthdate (the day EXO’s fans got their official name) tattooed. Idk why you find it so weird that a lot of fans are feeling betrayed and hurt over this issue. For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime. I’m heartbroken, hurt and feel betrayed over his actions.

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            @vipsky4796

            You never thought this was just fantasy? I’m sorry but at first it seems like you knew – “Their success as a group was our success as well” I mean when you say this you knew it was a scheme right? But when you say “one of the happiest events in my life was Taeyang and Min Hyorin’s wedding” it seems like you didn’t?
            I think betrayed is such a strong word, that really should only be used for personal relationships and for fans to think they have these with idols is unreasonable, no matter how much said idols pretend they do.

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            @Lixie
            Fantasy? This is real life. VIPs have played the most important role in Bigbang coming from nothing to becoming a global boy group. Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.
            Betrayal isn’t a strong enough word to cover how I feel about the Seungri issue. And Seungri did betray everyone with his actions.
            You may see it as a money making scheme but for millions of people around the world, including me, it hold A LOT more meaning than that.

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            @vipsky4796

            When I said illusion I was talking about @greenfields saying “The kpop industry is a pro at making fans believe they know idols”. I think it’s impossible to disagree with that.

            “the idol-fan relationship holds a lot of meaning” Yes, money and success. People should buy and like the work not the artist. The industry wants to sell the package, it’s wrong.

            “For me, Seungri committing this crime is the same as any loved one (well apart from my immediate family, BFFs) doing a crime.” It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.

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            @vipsky4796

            “Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”

            No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.

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            Guys may I just put it this way? I think Lixie is speaking from a very logical perspective, and your words were words of comfort to Mary. @vipsky4796 , mary above and me too (though I’m less hurt since I don’t really follow any of the idols involved so far), are speaking from a place of emotion. I guess from a logical perspective, the emotional perspective is irrational; and from an emotional perspective, the logical perspective is incomplete.

            I personally believe somewhere in the middle of what the two of you say. I don’t think of any idols’ success as my own nor do I think owe me anything, or I owe them anything; but their music reached me at a time when the words of my family and friends couldn’t comfort me; and for that I am immensely grateful to them. It still comforts me, or even just keeps me company when I’m doing a mundane task, or pushes me to do one more round of running or whatever, when I need it to – so I do feel some love and connection. It’s one sided yes, call it a delusional crush T_T.

            The idols are dependent on fans, but me as the individual fan doesn’t matter, only the collective of fans does. On the other hand, for us fans, the individual idol does matter. Thus, its definitely a one sided love. T_T

            Okay now I need to sleep. Mary *hugs* again and lots of love. Also to Lixie and vipsky! <3 Feel free to differ from my pov.

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            @Lexie
            “It shouldn’t be, he isn’t a real person for you.” He is actually a real person, and he is a real person for me. I said it before: “The people I stan hold a lot of meaning in my life, and their wellbeing and actions have a huge impact on me.” I’m not saying that I have a personal connection with the people I stan, but they have made an impact on me as idols, and I care about them as a fan. Of course there’s a line, and I’m not saying that I’m gonna cross it or something. How do I explain this? I care about both G-dragon the kpop idol and Kwon Jiyong the actual person, but I do not claim to have a personal connection to the actual person. The only connection I have to him is as a fan and as a fan, he means a lot to me. If he does something wrong, I would naturally feel betrayed.
            “No it’s not, this is a fantasy they sell to make you feel closer, to make you spend money and feel loved by them. Their success as an artist is only theirs, you enjoyed, you made them famous, they repaid you by entertaining you. You were never more successful because the boy band you liked became more famous. They should have never told you this.” When I say success, I don’t mean success as an individual, I mean success as a fan. What you’re saying is your outlook on it, what I’m saying is mine. It’s actually sad that you chalk up the idol-fan relationship to just this. This might be the correct reasoning for entertainment companies, for them it’s about the money, but that doesn’t hold true for the actual idols. No human being in their right mind would live the lives Kpop idols live for just the money. There’s so much peril to your physical and mental health as a kpop idol. A lot of them aren’t even paid in the beginning. It’s not money that drives idols.
            Anyway, it’s your opinion but I think you should accept that I have an opinion on this myself and it’s different from yours. Telling me that I shouldn’t feel how I feel about this is not in your right seeing as you are just a stranger on the internet. It’s not right to invalidate someone’s feelings like this, even if you don’t agree with them.

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            @lixie
            Sorry if I come off as rude, I’m not being rude exactly, it’s just this whole thing is a lot more than a “money making scheme” and it makes me upset when people say its only for the money.
            @greenfields I agree with you.

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            @vipsky4796

            You never seem rude to me, I know you have some emotional connection with them so if anyone might seem rude it would be me, thanks for being patient with my comments which I know come from a very logical place as @greenfields aptly put it. I had to find out what stan even means people keep using this as a verb and I thought it was some typo eheheh. It is a thing! But it is a bit controversial because wiki says “The word has been described as a blend of “stalker” and “fan” and I don’t know why anyone would describe themselves like that. Anyway, I think it’s a bit difficult to explain why I’m saying you shouldn’t care about them so much, or at least, not on a personal level and I don’t want to sound bossy or nosy, sorry if it seemed that way. All I’m saying is maybe you shouldn’t believe you know them in a personal way and then you would never feel betrayed. Any kpop idol might have a million reasons to join this industry, I’m not judging that, but the industry usually tries to sell them as some product, it wants to falsely give the fans the idea they know them as people, sometimes fans even imagine they are owed that knowledge about their idols’ personal lives, from there they imagine they also know what kind of person they are and suddenly they discover they are wrong, they should question the entire system that led them to these illusions and not only the idol behaving badly. Anyway, I know the kpop industry is part of their culture but it’s something I’d like them to change for the better.

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            @greenfields thank you *hugs*

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        @vipsky4796 “Their success IS our success, it’s not just a money making scheme.”

        True. Same as with sports. You can’t help feeling close to a person you have followed and admired for years. It is true that the companies bank on the fans’ feelings and use them for their own profit, but this in no way negates the fans’ true feelings.

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        Hi @midnight thank you,your words are really appreciated.

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      Hi Lixie! thank you..and logically I know I shouldn’t feel as personally as this but sometimes the emotional side just “feels”. just thinking about the crimes committed is making me 🤬.

      i understand your point.thank you

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    I feel terrible for everyone who feels betrayed. This, too, shall pass, but hopefully everyone involved (even as a bystander) will be stronger and be more ethical, moral, and just better, in the future. Until then, I’m praying for Korea.

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    Hang on! *hugs*

    Just do what you feel is best for you. Whatever you’re feeling is valid, don’t feel bad about your emotions. Take it one day at a time and it’ll get better.

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    @vipsky4796 thank you and lotsa hugs for you too

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    You voiced my feelings. I’m not sure what to think. Junhyung was the reason I got into Beast and kpop in the first place. I feel like maybe he was trying to seem ‘cool’ to JJY and not create conflict, but like you, I wish he had distanced himself. Only God knows what’s really in his heart and mind, but from his one line that was published from the chat, it seems like he knew. Sigh.

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    always one message away <3

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🙋‍♀️ Hi Beanies!

I’m happy to report that after months of no drama/fangirling,I save 2 hours per week to watch Reach of Sincerity.In that 2 hours,I’m able to forget my work/school deadlines.♥️

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🎉Happiest Christmas Eve!🎉

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COLOR ME by Highlight’s Dongwoon and GWSN’s Seoryoung.

Lyrics by our Dongni.

@ally-le

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Winner’s Mino will be on Highlight Yoseob’s radio show on the 13th.

Happy fangirl right here🙋‍♀️

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Highlight’s Outro

Their farewell concert, their Goodbye before the 4 of them enlist one by one was this last weekend,in Seoul. I was in Manila.

I still feel bad I wasn’t personally there to bid them farewell and tell them I will wait. But I also know,they won’t like it if they knew that I will be legally liable if I travelled to their concert without proper travel clearance given that I am currently a government employee.

Prioritizing and knowing when to do crazy fan girl stunts. Being a fan in a right way is so much more important, as Yoseob our Fairy and Vocal King always remind Lights. Treat and think of them as friends and as hobbies and our entire lives.

My ultimate love Leeki cried during Sunday’s concert,only the 2nd time on an official event in his entire career. The last time was when they first won in a music show with Shock in 25 March 2010 from MCountdown. Exhibit A: https://youtu.be/ea-PVDUSVDI and it truly broke my heart and the freaking dam of tears unlike when the others were crying.

Like the last 9 years with them,the weekend concert was one heck of a roller coaster ride – laughing one minute from seeing their pre debut,debut pictures, hearing their first impressions to crying from suddenly hearing Doo Joon’s voice and having my heart thumping like crazy and slightly mad because they decided to sing while holding onto a pole with a wrist strap and foot strap, no harnesses.

But what remains most is that,
I will terribly miss them but I will surely be there At that Place,in time to welcome them with open arms to usher their,our Intro

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    First 2 pics are our Munchkins, as they call themselves – Yoseob and Gikwang.

    3rd is a shot of Hallabong.

    4th is their 1st photo with fans in Dec 2016 from their 777 Fan Meeting. Before they chose to promote as Highlight in Feb 2017.

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    I got emotionnal by only reading your post.
    I hope they come back healthy and happy! That’s all that matters for me.

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      yes! Only 2 things I keep praying for them, their health and happiness. And may this enlistment be a time to properly get rested.

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    *mumbles something about that stupid stunt and Dongni’s injured arm*
    I’m just happy I have you to cry with, even on a Monday morning/night.
    We’ll be there with them for uri Intro! <3

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    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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    *hugs mary* I hope you and leeki both feel better after Sunday. @natzillagorilla too.

    So I werent the only person worried to see them hanging onto a pole by a wrist strap! Like, who gave the approval for them to do this? Oh right, they are the CEOs.

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      I kept thinking about them falling and injuring themselves and the fans. Then on Sunday I kept being worried about Dongni’s injured hand and what would happen if he couldn’t hold on tight….
      I swear, these CEOs need nannies sometimes!

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        (I’m also typing this while Yoseobie’s first pic is my current background pic lol)

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          Aww… I love those photos of them. The munchkins look happy in the air 🌟 so I can’t bring myself to be angry at them. Haha the fans would have to catch them if they fall. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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            I swear munchkins were the happiest! but I still get annoyed remembering how dongni got injured and how he stayed on that pole 😔

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            @wakimary yes I was worried for dongni on day 2. He’s the clumsy one… shuddered to think what if his feet slipped out from his shoe. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Alas, they survived.

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          One of Leeki’s,not exactly the 2nd pic,is my new wallpaper in my other phone

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      thanks Delphy, getting better but still had a crying sesh with Natz on our Monday (night/day)..but we will survive

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Finally,Outro is on Spotify

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my bias group,dear Beanies

I am LOVED ❤

PS: very proud of my bias,the main dancer 😍

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And because of that Fiction video, I ended up rewatching my favorite and also the most heartbreaking Beast concert The Beautiful Show 2015

My favorite Munchkins ❤

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My favorite version of “Fiction”

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    I was just listening to this!!! Like, 4 songs ago!
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
    I miss Dudu 🙁
    (I’m also trying to ignore what should be ignored)

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    That is a great vocal from Dong-woon as well!

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    I love this version! It’s so pretty!

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Take Care – https://www.vlive.tv/video/97800

I hope you\’ll be able to see this @ally-le

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just…😔❤😭

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This is not an audio teaser but a starter kit to prepare how to drown in your own tears

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    Translated:
    “Do i have to leave
    Instead of saying these painful words
    that seems like about to burst
    So that your heart is in peace
    I will smile”
    OR
    “Should i leave
    It’s likely to burst
    This painful words instead
    For you to be comfortable
    I will try to smile”

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    I’m just gonna prepare myself with the Dudu tracksuit and tissues. Nothing’s gonna happen if I have a gallon of ice cream at 3am, right?

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      i was gonna suggest wearing your PDBS shirt but the Dudu track if more apt.. ice cream is always good

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        I’ll wear both, I need extra comfort haha
        Pistaccio ice cream safely stored in the freezer 🙁

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          Mary and Natz~~ ㅠㅠ I’m drowning already. Ice cream and dudu tracksuit sounds perfect. I’d have to hold it all in in the office at 5pm on Monday.

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            Delphy,I will ONLY listen to iton Monday 5PM,and will wait until I’m all comfy in my room,with some cookies and cream,before I check the MV (if we have one) and translates lyrics.

            Natz (@natzillagorilla) fair warning, I hope you won’t be surprised with my sudden spam messages..though we randomly do that,already.

            We will survive this,girls..we have to “see them there,at THAT place!”

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            Delphy!! TT TT Why do these boys want to make us suffer so much? 🙁 I’ll luckily be in the privacy of my room so I’ll be able to cry freely haha
            @wakimary what else are we to do?? I’ll just keep sending my usual “OMG MARYYYY TT” messages with a broken heart!

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            Yea Natz, they drop teasers like this and tell us to take care. Mary, your plan sounds good. *hugs* We’ll survive this.

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Highlight’s 4Q 2018
– ballad for new music,with orchestra
– farewell concert entitled “Outro”

As JH’s caption “An Outro to write a new Intro”

cue the tears 😭😭😭😭😭

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Thank you for all the good,better, best,bad,worse times.

I was, I am,I will always be proud of you.

May all of you be always healthy and happy.

Let’s See Each Other For A Long Time, at That Place

you have my heart,Highlight!

하이라이트❤ 라이트

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    I just followed all their IG accounts today, and signed up for Twitter last week. What have you done to me???

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    I’ve always loved HLNunafan videos. This one is for the 9th Anniv

    https://youtu.be/BsVyt5p_ZaE

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      This is so gorgeous and HD! 😍
      I saw a group of korean fans being first in line at the sg fanmeet and thought they could be the HL noonas & other fans who regularly post photos of them. Really admire their dedication…

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        Aside from HLNunas,each of the member have at least 1 or 2 fansites always there. Gikwang’s GKistheOne fansite is ALWAYS there for all of his official schedules, even just for filming variety. Not sure for the others,though.

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          Heyjoker and yangkiss were at the fanmeet too. At first i thought heyjoker was a group of people because she’s ALWAYS there, but it seems like she’s only one person. 😅

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            I love HeyJoker 😍 I feel like I’m a fan of HL fansite masters 😁

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          Haha ikr, fan of fan. I’m amazed by their work.

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    This is really sentimental, it reminds me of watching their Weekly idol shot last year as the new “debut” group… all bright and dorky and happy together after a very long time… T_T

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      which is why I love our fan slogan/tagline,“Let’s see each other for a long time” and loved that they decided to keep this fan slogan/tagline even after changing their group name

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    🖤🖤🖤 @wakimary~ Thanks for sharing your love for Highlight with us. I literally would not know about them if its not for you and other Light beanies. Have a great day!

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      you are always welcome,Delphy! I’m happy to share with people how good Highlight is.It is my way of showing, acknowledging and one way of expressing how grateful I am for the happiness they have brought me over the years.

      Have a good weekend!

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I had grand,glorious plans for my dramaland comeback,but real life is being a pain..can\’t even keep up with Hundred Million Stars and Third Charm

Have a great weekend,Beanies!

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It’s just Tuesday night,2nd work day for me but such a tough,long day..so here goes some fried pork rind + Kirin 🍺

Cheers,Beanies!

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For @ally-le and other HL fans/enthusiast or Dujun’s fan

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    Kamsahimnida! He did say “healthy and happy!” I wasn’t just imagining it! I wish I could write him a bit. I was military too, so I really empathize with his training. I had a few bruises after my 4 week officer training, and my whole body was so sore that I limped everywhere I went, so much so that there were people in my flight that never saw me walk normally and thought that was my normal gait! And that’s where I met my husband so I can’t really complain! Fighting Doojoonie!

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      those are his usual message even when he wasn’t enlisted yet..he wont even ask fans to wait for him

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    Glad to see him adjusting well in army and putting the early enlistment behind him. 😭

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Countdown to the 9th Year

I’ve lost words, and I hope Beanies won’t hate me for spamming them with my thoughts about you and Highlight.

But some will always remain, I am very very proud of you and Highlight. I will always wish and pray for your continued happiness. Thank you for bringing sunshine in my life.

From your solo debut as Ace Junior, until now that you are one of the shareholders of your own company, you’ve proven time and again that hard work will never fail you

I am one in the hundreds and maybe thousands of your fans,but you will always be the One.

Please forgive me for sharing this.

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    Leeki, one of his nicknames, debuted as a soloist in 4 Apr 2009 as AJ (Ace Junior).

    He will forever be hounded by his version of the American Dance please check YT videos of him doing it at your own risk. Warning,I and GK himself cringe when he does it until now. probably regretting why he did it years before.

    Main Dancer of Beast/Highlight but probably the first one to forget the choreography. Exhibit A: https://youtu.be/SjaIg9eTBQ8

    Dabbled into acting from High Kick through the Roof to the recent Lovely Horribly. And was one of the main variety-idols since 2009, MC’d SBS Inkigayo and variety shows.

    Credited as lyricist/producer of 19 songs (and counting; for Beast/Highlight,his solo, BTOB’s and Rainz) since their debut with Bad Girl. Most of his songs are R&B style wise.

    My GK list:

    Favorite Composed Song: Curious
    (https://youtu.be/Y8VBTO9Bpqc)

    Least Favorite Solo: Wipe the Tears
    (https://youtu.be/kYtMZ8cpcNs)

    Favorite Performance (his solo Concert): Dreaming
    (https://youtu.be/zAD6EEYzgLo)

    AND
    Good Night
    (https://youtu.be/z7I36Pc3OB4)

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    Nothing to forgive. 🙂 It is wonderful to see you share your support for something you love.

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    🙂 I like your Highlight posts. It’s nice to learn new info/facts about them from you. I still listen to Dancing Shoes nowadays too. ^^

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    My heart is full <3 <3 <3
    May we continue sharing this happiness for years and years to come!

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      maybe we get to attend dinner concerts when they’re (and us) are older like what the fairy hopes

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        I’m sure I’ll be living on that side of the world then, so we’ll definitely attend one of those!
        (they’ll happen, I trust our fairy)

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    I just saw him on a show for the first time last night. Why not Dancer.

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      there’s a lot more…i hope you enjoy if and when you watch him/them again.

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I missed your drama but I feel extra proud when I read how viewers liked your character. They rooted for you my dear,the boy who sees ghost.

From drama filming,to being a coach to Fiction kids on Dancing High, to flying to HK for performances and for the fan meeting in SG, I am very very proud of you and Highlight.

A few more days and we will 🎉Celebrate🎉
our 9th year,I look forward for more years together.

See you in your next project!

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    With this face, he cant be the bad guy. Ever. 😝😂

    i really love his Sungjoong character; he’s smart to let go the clueless Mong Ji 😁 someone’s right about SungJoong to get someone better

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    <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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