I agree with almost everything you've said so far. I was a English/science nerd in high school, because of fear of failure I actually majored in something that while it interested me didn't call me as a life long career as well as being a career that would be hard to actually live off of, I was pushed to take the LSATs and while I did pass them and I actually got in to a pretty good school I was dreading it a lot because I couldn't see myself being happy litigating and being in front of a lot of people (i panic when I have to present to big audiences even though I enjoy being on stage and acting). So I ran away and took the exams for medical school in another country and passed and now I am finally finishing that program, BUT even though I enjoy medicine and love helping people I get performance anxiety so I am dreading taking the USMLE to be able to practice in the US and go back to my family. It's so scary and I keep postponing stuff by watching kdramas but I am finally getting the courage to go for it thanks to seeing how everybody is so active in working for their dreams in dramas and it shames me to think that even as I admire them I am being very passive over my dreams. Thanks to dramas where I see the heroine fail and try and try again I have hope that maybe even if I fail it's something that needs to happen and maybe another door will open if I actively search for it. (though I love medicine, medical dramas are a big NO for me, I can't get over the fact of how surreal they are even as they try to portray reality)

I love this! It's very similar to how I feel about dramas as well. I like to watch the light-hearted ones to de-stress and feel good, and I personally think that dramas have taught me a lot about life. We could all take a leaf from some of the characters' books sometime.

And I'm glad you found the inspiration to fight on and become a lawyer (wow!) through watching dramas. Now that's inspirational. ^^

I love your piece, thank you for sharing how much k-dramas have helped you in your life! Some dramas say they hope to "give healing" to viewers, and in your case, you sound like you certainly experienced healing. *pat on the back*

In my case, I was feeling jaded with corporate working life so I actually stopped watching Misaeng because I felt it was too realistic for me. It hit home too hard. I could relate to a lot of what Jang Gu Rae was experiencing and I didn't want to watch someone else go through hard times again and again. Wimpy me decided to stop watching the show, and tuned in to something else that was easier to watch.

"K-dramas are my escape from everyday life, but realistic K-dramas helped me find my way back to it."

Thank you my friend. This is why I watched dramas like Misaeng too while finishing grad school (partly procrastination, partly a real need for escape--refocus--renewal of my own life). Now, like you, I am taking on more responsibilities, though compared to my peers I'm way behind in a career. But I've learned that comparing ourselves to others is no good. We have our own time to grow. :)

This post really resonates with me.
It was really realism in some characters that helped me not only continue to watch future episodes, but it helps me reflect on life.
In the drama She Was Pretty, there was this one scene where the two female friends made up at the airport. It struck a chord with me on the value of friendship and I shed a few tears. Eventually one of my close friends watched that episode and she also cried over that scene. I guess in that way we connected and it brought forth such a heartwarming, satisfactory feeling of seeing true friendship not often depicted between the main female and the second female.
Since it was mentioned, Signal was quite a "real" drama for me despite the unrealistic concept the story was built on. Although I relate with Cha Soo-Hyun as well, it was Lee Jae-Han that really made such a strong impression in mind even now. It was that lonely and grieving expression of Cho Jin-Woong that really made me bawl out because of that movie theater scene, he reminded of someone I know. That person was also grieving over their loved one as everyone had each other.
I guess another third drama that showed realism in unrealistic was Beautiful Mind. My gosh did the first medical case with the kid and his father took me by surprise. Such raw emotion from the kid actor that I was reminded of myself.

Even though I'm going over more heavier dramas, I still enjoy lighter kdramas like this post has mentioned and I understand such feelings of admiration for fictional characters in sometimes unreal set-ups because, despite the settings, the emotions and struggles of the characters were real and are something we can relate to.
Anyhow, thank you for the lovely piece @greenfields :)

Oh yay! Thanks for putting this up @guest-beanie and DB! And for giving more direction to my meandering thoughts. :)

I just realised that in comparison to many other posts on DB, I write in longer sentences replete with commas. I'm definitely a lawyer. 😌

Thank you Greenfields for your thoughts and for your story.
To me it was very touching, maybe because in the last couple of years I had a similar situation which was very hard for me to go through and just like for you, kdramas were my safety net, my comfort and my motivation. The energy of the main characters who didn't just sit it out or wallowed in their misery was very helpful.

I relate so much to this! After my law studies I fled to study something else for a while before finally getting to start working as a lawyer this year. Kdramas are a great way to cheer up and find motivation when you're feeling low. And so Ive come to believe that as long as you work hard, it is ok to fail sometimes and not be perfect. There is always another way if things go wrong, and happiness isn't defined by your career anyway.

I also have a special fondness for realistic friendships between women, a theme less often seen in K-dramas and in fact, under-emphasized in fiction all around the world. Age of Youth, its sequel, and Weightlifting Fairy are easy examples of how important girlfriends are to one’s happiness and sanity.

Yes! So glad you called attention to this.

The importance of female friendship was one of my favorite elements of Splash Splash Love. I loved that Dan-bi forged a friendship with the desperately lonely Queen Soheon, an incarnation of her present-day best friend So-heon.

Basically agree with everything you say, especially:

I now faced my next challenge—finding love, something else I shy away from. But this can mostly be attributed to my all-girls’ convent school upbringing. I connect with women very easily, but tend not to know how to connect with men.

same, except that I STILL can't connect with men that easily.

"Min-Min sets the bar for the modern urban male."
oh yes, so true :-D thank you for pointing it out.

"But this can mostly be attributed to my all-girls’ convent school upbringing."

Also went to an all-girls school until high school then went to a liberal university. I only had a handful of male friends at the university and I would rather hang out with my girl friends. Guess you can take the girl out of convent school but you can never take the convent upbringing out of the girl, hee.

Kidding aside, I admire your tenacity for overcoming life's setbacks. Witnessing a suicide is one thing that I don't wan't to experience ever. It was tragic for that person to kill himself/herself but inadvertently, he/she "saved" you since you decided to be more proactive with your life.

... realistic characters and their realistic reactions to the extraordinary or unrealistic situations in which they find themselves...
What came to my mind here is Cheon Song-yi confessing to Do Min-joon, him replying he's an alien.. Yet she kept badgering him to answer if he likes her. To hell with being an alien, do you like me? Priorities of a girl in love!
I enjoyed reading this @greenfields and to your chosen career I wish you all the best! 😊

My dear Guest Beanie, thanks for writing this long and beautiful post. I am also glad you are back in your feet again and I am sorry you had to go through so much.

Changing subject to Asian Dramas:

Sometimes writers, by avoiding realism, are able to reach a more subtle level of reality. Some so called "fantasy" dramas are able to develop really smart and utterly applicable to real world. One example that comes to mind is that smart last episode of "Orange Marmalade" (if you see only the episodes in the present -except the one before going into Joseon- and you can have some larguesse over green acting), wich is (with these limitations in mind) quite a little smart, brave and inspiring show about the experience of discrimination. The whole Orange Marmalade band standing for their bandmates in front of a fearful mob of scared parents and their "looking for another entrance" strategy is a smart translation of what was done during the 50's and 60's during the Civil Rights Era.

Another "fantasy" Drama (this one Japanese, if you don't mind) that blew my mind was Kasuka Na Kanojo (if you are into school Dramas). Of course we have the jaded ghost-seeing teacher and his love interest, the ghost of an idealistic female teacher who died 30 years before (Tsundere meeting ahead!!!). But with the exception of some fantasy elements like being a ghostly "tail" to a runaway student couple and a possesion before someone could hurt herself, all solutions and events seems not only smart and plausible, some of them are very practical indeed.

Sometimes by using fantasy, good writers are able to reach a deeper layer of reality.

Oh man, this was so relatable! 2017 has been a big year for me in terms of dramas - I went from following a couple, that so happened to catch my interest and were airing when I had time, to binge watching a whole host of dramas this year. K-dramas have become an essential to me and are often the reasons I can still smile nowadays. Your paragraph on university really resonated with me - I started uni about a week ago and already feel lost. Am I doing the right degree, was I right in not going after my passions, am I doing something wrong cuz I don't have friends at the moment....all these questions flood my brain and more often than not, I don't know the answers to them. And that's when I turn to K-dramas. My tastes in dramas vary as I usually go for something with a good plot and good characters but they always hit home with me (well, most of the time at least!)
Though a lot of scenes in dramas are something my 18 year old self can't quite relate to yet, there has been an abundance of moments that have really stayed with me and have helped me to move forward as a person. I come for the escapism - to stray away from the problems that come as I transition into adulthood, to help mend the loneliness I feel, to have a good laugh when humans seem like too much and moreover, to connect with something unreal so that I can feel something real inside of me. Hence it is the realism I always end up staying for and what gives me the fuel to tackle life's many obstacles. It's weird, having fictional characters be your sort of guiding light into the world before you but I find that it gives me the courage to push further and as you've mentioned, think beyond myself.

I completely agree with your take on K-drama! I was also in a pretty bad shape when I started to watch dramas last year and I've never looked back since. You said it best:

"My idea of realistic dramas is not necessarily slice of life, but rather dramatic plots with elements of realism. This is usually realistic characters and their realistic reactions to the extraordinary or unrealistic situations in which they find themselves, in addition to, of course, slice-of-life plots."

I also love Min-hyuk from SWDBS and Jung-sun from Temperature of Love, so I can definitely relate with your choices. Don't give up yet on ToL, let's just skip through Hong-ah's petty antics!

As for Hospital Ship... I have to admit that Hyun is one of the last couple of reasons why I'm still watching. I've ended up pressing the forward button quite a few times just to check out selected scenes, preferrably with him in it.

I’ve finally come back to this, @greenfields. I knew I wanted to take time and really digest your thoughts and writing because I enjoy reading your other comments when I see them. With a math/science bent myself, I’m in awe that you are a lawyer! I love these guest beanie write ups because I feel that I get to know everyone a little better through them. I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t mention any romantic connection in your real life yet. So, now that you’ve found success in your work, let’s hope that kdramas motivate you to find your true love as well!!! (I’ll be waiting to hear!)

Wow I admire your boldness in sharing your story with us! I found kdramas at a time when my personal life was extremely difficult too...(laid off from my job, chronically ill family members) and kdramas were my source of comfort and sort of were therapeutic to watch in those moments when I felt most alone.