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75

Go Back Spouses: Episode 6

Sweet, sweet jealousy is delivered in every minute of this episode, and it’s just what I ordered. Ban-do finally starts to see what he’s been taking for granted all this time, but Nam-gil’s white knight game is strong. Will Ban-do be able to come around in time to stop Jin-joo’s heart from going full flutter for the younger man?

 
EPISODE 6: “You shine the brightest when you are yourself”

In 2017, Jin-joo tries on a dress she ordered online. It’s pretty, but she’s worried that it’s too short, especially if she’s trying to carry Seo-jin around.

In voiceover, Jin-joo narrates that she used to think age was just a number that soaked into her, but didn’t change her.

Jin-joo still really likes the dress, so she posts online to mine the infinite wisdom of the internet—is an above-the-knee dress okay for a mother in her late thirties? Most replies say that they stopped wearing dresses a while ago but one commenter says that it doesn’t matter if it looks good on you, and Jin-joo perks up and tries the dress on again.

Ban-do arrives home and she jumps out to surprise him. But Ban-do is totally disinterested, tells her she’s too old for dresses like that, and starts calling for his son. When he hears that Seo-jin is asleep, all the energy in him deflates and he ignores Jin-joo and wanders off.

In voiceover again, Jin-joo narrates as she seals the box to return her dress, “Age wasn’t soaking into me, I was adjusting myself to my age. That’s how I got used to my age.”

In 1999, we return to that rainy day in Seoul. Jin-joo gets off the bus and huddles at the same stop as Seo-young, and notices that Seo-young tucks her own umbrella into her bag.

Jin-joo heads off to campus just as Ban-do’s bus arrives, but she turns to watch Seo-young and Ban-do talk, her expression grim. Jin-joo’s umbrella breaks down, but our favorite white knight, Nam-gil, is waiting in the wings and covers her with his umbrella.

As they walk, Jin-joo recalls Nam-gil’s confession the day before, and her heart flutters. Nam-gil beckons her to walk closer so that he’s under the umbrella too, and she wonders if he’s a player.

Ban-do and Seo-young approach from the opposite direction, and as the couples pass one another, Jin-joo and Ban-do both send lingering glances at one another over their shoulders.

In class, Ban-do can’t help but study Nam-gil from a few rows behind, and compares the young man’s shoulder width with his own. A few rows back, Jin-joo watches Ban-do and thinks of a similarly rainy day they’d experienced in their futures.

Jin-joo had emerged from the bus to find Ban-do waiting for her. She’d been happy to see him, but her spirits were dashed when he handed her an umbrella and then opened his own. She told him she wanted to share, but he’d scoffed, “Are we shooting a teen drama?” Jin-joo glared into his back as he walked away.

Now in ’99, Jin-joo recalls his words and wonders if Ban-do is shooting a reality show with her and a drama with Seo-young, and mutters a curse at his back.

The rain has cleared, and the professor cancels class so the students can enjoy the campus festival. Jin-joo pulls Ban-do aside to talk in private, then asks him not to bring his date to her dad’s theater.

Ban-do knows it was awkward, but then again, his father-in-law has no clue who he is, so does it really matter? Ban-do seems bummed by that, aww. Jin-joo retorts that Ban-do almost gave himself away with his reaction, and Ban-do mutters that it’s just habit.

Ban-do brings up Nam-gil and how he seems to be following Jin-joo around everywhere. Jin-joo shoots back that Seo-young may look innocent, but she’s sly, and lied about having a umbrella this morning. Ban-do is delighted to hear this, and tells Jin-joo that it isn’t sly, it’s cute.

Ban-do tells Jin-joo she’s been watching too many makjang dramas, and Jin-joo fires back that he’s too into his illicit love story, right as Dok-jae strolls up. Dok-jae asks if he can borrow the illicit love story video from Jin-joo, and Jin-joo just tells him to ask Ban-do, who’s got porn of all genres.

On the quad, the university festival is gearing up. The history department has set up a bar in their booth on the lawn, while the civil engineering seniors can’t seem to find any of their freshmen to man their water balloon game. Speaking of those missing freshmen…

Ban-do watches in dismay as Jae-woo makes cute faces and hearts out his dorm window at Bo-reum, whose window is directly across. Ban-do laments the inevitable fate of his friend, all while “Beautiful” from The Lonely Shining Goblin plays in the background.

Ban-do tries to talk Jae-woo out of dating Bo-reum, but Jae-woo assumes that he’s just jealous. Ban-do says that at age 31, the exact moment when Park Ji-sung scores during the South African World Cup, Jae-woo will regret his decision to date Bo-reum (so many clues!)

The camera flies out the window and across to Bo-reum’s room, where Jin-joo is also trying to talk Bo-reum out of her new relationship. Bo-reum is way too giddy to care, and Jin-joo receives no help from Seol either, who asks what date the couple became official. Bo-reum says the exact date isn’t important.

The camera soars back across into the boys’ room, where the date certainly seems important to Jae-woo, who circles it over and over again in his planner. A new obstacle for Ban-do arrives just then, in the form of Dok-jae and a bunch of weird supplies for the festival’s talent show.

Apparently Ban-do has been planning a big number for the trio, and the talent show will even end up on TV. Dok-jae is so excited, but in the future, Ban-do is haunted by this performance: In his flash-forward, the video makes its way to all of the doctors and nurses he works with, who tease him relentlessly (we had better get to see this in the epilogue).

Ban-do thinks that this must be his big chance to fix the future, and he begs the other guys to not do the show. They seem committed to having fun and making a great memory, so Ban-do just runs off himself.

Nam-gil’s planning on hiding out in the library during the festival, but one glance at Jin-joo hauling heavy cartons of drinks has him sitting at a table in the history department’s bar, pretending to read. Aww, you lovesick fool.

Jin-joo keeps herself busy correcting everyone’s bad kitchen skills, and a crowd (including Nam-gil) crowds around as she imitates the salt bae meme and makes the most delicious-looking batch of stir-fried pork ever.

Jin-joo feeds a sample to everyone gathered around, except her senior keeps interrupting her right before she tries to feed Nam-gil a piece, haha. Sunbae wants to make this their signature dish for the festival, and they only have to make a hundred more servings. Jin-joo’s eyes widen at the delivery of boxes and boxes of ingredients that have arrived.

Another history major assures Jin-joo that she won’t have to make all of the servings alone, and a gust of wind tosses the handkerchief from Jin-joo’s hand to the ground. She bends to grab it, but is distracted by a pair of military boots and a pack of young men dressed in fatigues marching towards with her with shovels.

Her Descendants of the Sun moment is ruined, however, when the main guy brings her handkerchief back and takes off his sunglasses… and he’s no Song Joong-ki (cameo by Kim Ki-doo, haha).

Over in the dance department, the dancers are getting ready for the festival. The dance professor compliments Seo-young on her good conditioning lately, and the other dancers ask if Seo-young’s good mood is because of a boy. Seo-young coyly answers that everyone needs a way to relieve stress, and a guy is one method.

And that particular guy has turned up to escort her to the festival. Oh, Ban-do. Why can’t you treat future Jin-joo like this?

Seo-young wonders if Ban-do is going to do something for the talent show, and she calls him too timid when she hears he’s not participating. After all, he always tells her to do whatever makes her happy. Ban-do considers, but the memories from the future just won’t let him give in to a moment of college frivolity.

The conversation is interrupted by Seo-young’s cell phone, and she takes a heated call with her mother. Ban-do tries not to be too obvious as he listens in, but he does comment afterward that Seo-young has a scary side. Seo-young responds that she can’t have only good traits, and Ban-do teases, “Who says you only have good traits?” She takes it in stride with just a small whine.

At the history department’s tent, the reserve forces mix up all the ingredients in a giant tub with their shovels. While they work, Jin-joo’s sunbae tells her she should have participated in the May Queen competition. Jin-joo recalls that she was nominated earlier in the semester, and her senior sighs that she refused. Jin-joo is busy enjoying her moment, thinking how pretty she must have been (which her sunbae mistakes for vanity, ha).

The reserve forces finish mixing with a flourish, which sends splatters of sauce flying over all the ladies watching, including Jin-joo. The others stalk off angrily, but Jin-joo waves it off as no big deal and tastes the sauce from her shirt, getting a smile from the ever-observant Nam-gil.

She elicits a laugh out of the student wiping down Nam-gil’s table as well, and he knocks over a soda onto Nam-gil’s pants. Nam-gil does not take it as good-naturedly as Jin-joo, haha.

Meanwhile, the cheerleading team is eating jjajangmyun in their practice room, and Bo-reum makes kissy faces at Jae-woo the whole time. Jae-woo cannot keep his cool and sputters incoherently. Bo-reum gets sauce on her costume and starts to wipe at it, but Jae-woo stops her.

In the bathroom, Jae-woo shows her that a dab of soap is better at getting the stain out, and his reward is a kiss from Bo-reum. He trots out of the restroom in a victory dance, but Bo-reum’s waiting for him in the hall, striking an alluring pose.

Dok-jae finds Jae-woo and Bo-reum having a little kiss-fest in an empty classroom. After Bo-reum leaves, Dok-jae complains that this is just a bit too much. He then recalls the many times in recent days that he has had to witness Jae-woo and Bo-reum’s kisses.

Dok-jae is concerned that Bo-reum is using Jae-woo for his body and doesn’t actually like him. Jae-woo isn’t immediately concerned, but Dok-jae’s words stick with him as he overhears two women talking about how guys can date girls for physical affection, seeing them as easy. Now Jae-woo’s concerned.

The festival is in full swing, and Ban-do and Seo-young are out enjoying it. Jin-joo sees them from afar and scowls, but then she notices that they’ve approached the water balloon game.

Ban-do is in trouble with his seniors for not helping out, but Dok-jae tries to distract everyone by calling out to the approaching Jin-joo. She wants to play, but only if Ban-do is the face in the wall to aim at, and she offers to pay twice the price.

With Ban-do set into place, Jin-joo winds up and goes to pitch her balloon. The first one is a fake-out, and she gets the scream out of Ban-do she wanted. She pitches her balloon for real, a direct hit. She throws over and over again, dousing Ban-do with an endless stream of water.

Dok-jae comments on Jin-joo’s skill, and she says this is easy. In flash-forward, Jin-joo thinks of all the diapers she had to toss into the diaper pail from afar. She’s had a lot of training for this moment.

A worried Seo-young asks if Ban-do can be switched out, but Jin-joo will only pitch at Ban-do, and the seniors are enjoying his suffering. When Jin-joo finally runs out of balloons, Dok-jae eagerly tells the drenched Ban-do that Seo-young was worried about him and must like him. Ban-do rolls his eyes at how slow Dok-jae is to catch on.

A dejected Jae-woo catches up with the guys, and he won’t even tolerate any of Dok-jae’s teasing. Dok-jae tries to talk Ban-do into the talent show one last time, but Ban-do still won’t give in. They rush off for the stage, and the promise of seeing host Kang Ho-dong. The entire student body is super excited to see Kang Ho-dong in person, except for Jin-joo and Ban-do.

Nam-gil’s more bothered by his stained pants than I thought, and he purchases a new pair at a store. On his way out, he spots a pretty white dress on display. He walks out of the store, but a moment later he’s back in to make an additional purchase.

It’s dark by the time Nam-gil returns to campus, the dress wrapped up and ready. But as he imagines giving Jin-joo the dress, he can’t stand the embarrassment (those puppy eyes though) of explaining why he’d give her a dress, so he first abandons the gift box, and then spends some time rumpling the fabric so he can pretend it’s not new.

The main crew gathers to drink after the talent show, and Seol is struggling not to laugh at whatever it is the boys performed. Ban-do lectures again that he tried to save them from embarrassment, but Bo-reum coos that it was cute and kisses Jae-woo, grossing out pretty much everyone.

Dok-jae spots Seo-young wandering around by herself and calls her over. Ban-do feels a bit awkward about calling her over while Jin-joo is there, but Jin-joo gives him a sarcastic “fighting” and gives her seat up to go cook. Seol huffs indignantly, but then she spots Nam-gil passing by as well and calls him over to even the playing field for Jin-joo.

Jin-joo’s sunbae is helping out at the May Queen contest tent, where it turns out one of the girls is a no-show, and he knows who can take her place. Yes, go get Jin-joo!

Back at the history bar, Jin-joo glares at Ban-do while he talks with Seo-young, filled with memories of the pair’s rainy walk. Jin-joo mouths at Ban-do, “It’s like you’re dating a minor.” Ban-do looks chastened. His gaze then travels over to Nam-gil, who stands close to Jin-joo while she cooks. Ban-do’s thoughts also travel back to seeing Jin-joo and Nam-gil in the rain. He wonders how a young kid like that can have such emotional eyes, eyes that are only for Jin-joo. So much jealousy in this tent.

Nam-gil is finally ready to claim his bite of the stir-fried pork, and he’s determined to get a hand-fed piece from Jin-joo. He holds onto her hand that’s grasping the tongs, only to be interrupted by an outcry from Ban-do. Ban-do can’t really explain why he’s jealous, so instead he diverts to his go-to negativity and asks Jin-joo why she has food all over her clothes like an old lady.

As the two argue back and forth, Nam-gil recalls Ban-do kicking Hyun-suk into the pool gleefully. None of their friends can follow their argument, but they do all wonder when the two got so close. Thankfully, Jin-joo’s sunbae arrives to break the tension and asks Jin-joo to participate in the May Queen event.

Jin-joo is reluctant, especially since she doesn’t have anything to wear. Nam-gil’s got his perfect moment to hand over the dress, and says it was just in his car. Pfft. Jin-joo wonders why he has women’s clothes in his car, and he blurts that it’s his sister’s.

Jin-joo hesitates, until Ban-do’s antagonism finally pushes her over the edge. She’ll compete to prove him wrong.

The contest begins and everyone is in the audience as the contestants take their places onstage. Jin-joo is lovely in her white dress, and Ban-do is transfixed. Nam-gil grins happily, and even Hyun-suk is in the audience, leering.

But Jin-joo’s surprised at mention of a talent portion and tells the host that she doesn’t have any talents. He urges her to do anything at all, and she thinks to her parents, and her mother’s love of singing that she passed on to her daughter.

And so, Jin-joo sings for everyone. She’s shaky at first, but gains confidence as the crowd’s cheers grow. It’s adorable, and that beautiful moment of falling in love hits Ban-do all over again, and his thoughts are filled with moments of older Jin-joo as a caring wife and an adoring mother to their son.

Jin-joo smiles warmly as she finishes her song and the crowd cheers. Back at her house, the dying plant her parents brought back in heals a bit, turning from brown to green.

Ban-do is in a daze as he walks the festival with Seo-young. She notes that while he knows what she likes, she doesn’t know anything about what he likes. Ban-do doesn’t have an answer, then jokes that it’s alcohol that he loves.

After the contest, Bo-reum and Seol lament that Jin-joo should have won. Dok-jae takes this moment, while Jae-woo is in the bathroom, to ask what Bo-reum likes about Jae-woo. They don’t see Jae-woo, however, when he returns and pauses behind them to hear her answer. Bo-reum’s answer, though, is that Jae-woo is easy, and Jae-woo’s face falls.

Jin-joo heads to the bathroom to change, but the ladies’ room is under construction, so she makes sure no one is in the men’s room and sneaks in. A group of guys, Hyun-suk included, head in right after her, and Nam-gil watches them.

From inside the bathroom stall, Jin-joo hears the boys talking about how cute she is. She figures out that one of them is the future doctor from the nightclub, but she loses her smile when he tells one of the guys that he’ll give her to him once he’s bored with her.

Now Jin-joo’s mad, and she opens the stall door to confront them. But the boys have all left, and only a grinning Nam-gil stands there. They hear a voice heading into the bathroom, so Nam-gil ushers Jin-joo back into the stall to hide, neither noticing that her hair clip falls to the ground in front of the stall.

As they stand there quietly, the stall door swings open, and Ban-do stands in front of them. Eyes widen all around and Ban-do asks what Jin-joo’s doing, but Nam-gil shoots back, “What are you doing?”

Epilogue

Jin-joo’s parents and sister crowd around the tv to watch the campus talent show from Jin-joo’s university. Ban-do’s group performance is supposed to be a strength test, but it definitely turns into a comedy act. Jin-joo’s parents love it, right up until host Kang Ho-dong asks if the boys have girlfriends and Ban-do points to Jin-joo, who yells and waves from the audience.

Peeking from the doorway, Jin-joo smiles at the display of affection. She watches dad’s anger grow though, as he declares that he’ll kill that guy.

COMMENTS

That beautiful, jealous cliffhanger.

For a while, it’s been hard to root for the main couple getting back together. We know they’re both hurting and definitely loved one another at some point, but Ban-do’s vicious negging has made it really difficult to justify Jin-joo going back to him in the end. Sure, the guy may have been a marshmallow when he was actually 20, but 38 year-old Ban-do’s sole mission in life seems to be keeping Jin-joo down.

Ban-do has a habit of naysaying everyone he’s around though, not just Jin-joo. He has exhibited these actions often when he feels insecure; it’s almost like a self-defense mechanism. If he’s going down, he makes sure to bring everyone else down with him. And while it actually may not be anything personal, but rather something Ban-do does to protect himself, you can see what it’s done to Jin-joo over time. She has no confidence in herself anymore, a woman who can throw diapers into a pail without looking and was once elected to run for May Queen.

It seems like Ban-do was never equipped to handle what life threw at him, so for him to come back around and steal Jin-joo’s heart again, he’s going to have to do a lot more than just recognize that he still loves her. And I’m pretty sure others around Ban-do have been hinting at the source of his problem for a while. When Jin-joo’s father asked about his likes, he couldn’t muster any goals or dreams. The same happened when he registered for college without any aspirations, and finally when Seo-young inquired about his interests. Ban-do has no passions.

Being passionate about his future life with Jin-joo was certainly sweet, but it’s not a sustainable source of life satisfaction. So if this chance at 1999 really is karma’s way of letting him fix what went wrong, it seems like trying to find something that he loves to do might be a good start.

In the meanwhile though, I am thoroughly enjoying all the jealous angst. That scene in the festival tent, so much palpable jealousy. Ban-do still can’t quite get it right, with his immediate diversion to negative jibes, but his feelings are starting to take over.

Jang Ki-yong is doing such a good job of smiling adorably at Jang Nara as our second lead. It sounds easy, but I think he’s doing a great job of walking that fine line of comedic, cold-but-melting sweetheart. The comedy is always understated with him, and that makes every sideways look and pursed lips extra meaningful. I definitely rewatched a few of his reaction scenes a couple times over.

This episode was also about regret and those embarrassing moments that haunt us through life (especially in the middle of the night when our brains won’t turn off). We all have our embarrassments from our youth, and we’re all guilty of desperately wishing, if we just hadn’t done that one thing differently, our lives would be infinitely better. But in the moment, none of his friends are that terribly ashamed after the talent show, and it feels more like a great memory that Ban-do has now lost.

On the other side of the spectrum is Jin-joo, who always held back when she was young, and now, she finally gets the chance to experience the spotlight. She blossoms again as she sings, and I love that the almost-dead plant will help us track Jin-joo’s recovery. That thing had better have flowers on it by the finale.

With Jin-joo regaining her confidence before Ban-do’s eyes, he is starting to remember how amazing she always was, the way she was when he fell for her. And maybe, if we’re lucky, he’ll also see how his own behavior helped get her to her current meek state.

Most of the side characters took backseat this episode, but I hope Bo-reum and Jae-woo talk soon. Bo-reum can’t actually mean that she likes Jae-woo because he’s easy, right? She has to mean that he’s so open with his feelings for her, and doesn’t keep her guessing. My feelings are all tangled up in the main love quadrangle, but I am 100 percent for the Bo-reum–Jae-woo couple. Fighting!

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What I like about this show is because this is so relatable for many married couples out there. When the going gets tough I sometimes wondering what if I married this or that, will I get a happier life, but it is not necessarily I love my husband less.. I am pretty sure 38 years old ban do still loves Jin Joo, but as the years pass. Man becomes more comfortable, and I know some couple that shows their love by mocking each other (I know it’s weird, but it happens). I must be really bias for this show because Nam Gil, oh dear, he just tick all the right boxes for me.. some part of me wants BD and JJ to sort everything out and don’t let hard reality push down their love but the other part of me wants to scream heyyy you know it didn’t work out between you and him, don’t make same mistake again! Anyhow it’s only my two cent. Hwaiting GBC

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I agree that it would be the case for many married couple over time, that they get comfortable mocking each other, because they knew each other enough to not always be smiling and praising them. But I feel that Ban-do does not have the heart all the time, and Jin-joo is not necessarily the kind of person who can handle it. She doesn't need validation all the time, but I think the way Ban-do mocked everything she did, not even in a teasing way, did not help her confidence at all. Some couples can seemingly dislike each other while really still being in love, but others cannot distinguish the teasing from genuine insults if it happens too often for too long. So while I don't think Ban-do is a bad person, the way he is currently is too unhealthy for Jin-joo, as his first reaction is still insulting her both in her face and behind her back, as a sign of jealousy or discomfort.

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Cannot agree more.. I hope this current situation will make BD realized that he’s been taking JJ for granted for too long (and secretly hope JJ to pick NG this time) lol

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If i am a jinjoo, i will still choose my husband (bando). He is the man that i used to in love, he knows all inside and outside me, he sacrificed a lot, proved that he works for the family. Because of the responsibilities, both parties tend to forget to create the intimacy towards each other. The most important part is, he is a GREAT dad.

Instead of i choose another man which is i didn't know if he will be going to be a great husband or father to my kid (take note that bando is a great guy same with nam gil before his marriage) , i will repair back my relationship with my husband because that is the meaning of 2nd chance in marriage life.

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In the latest episode Ban Do is now realizing how important his family is. I don't know about the last scene if they're back or he was just dreaming.. But I still like Jin Joo to be with Ban Do . And you can feel that even if they repeat it Jin Joo will still fall in love with Ban Do.

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Thank you for the recap! <3

The longer this NegaBanDo persists, the more epic their reconciliation I expect to be than because they were married and they have a son in the future. Fits of jealousy isn't enough for me. I demand EPICness

How can it be love when he can't even be kind? ("Oh, he's mean and cruel to you? Then he must like you" UGH. It's emotional abuse.) I still have hope for BanDo, of course. If he can be kind to Seo-young, I hope he can remember the same to his future wife.

My heart broke for Jae-Woo in this episode! I hope they can talk soon! :(

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I am experiencing SLS for the first time. Oof, it hurts.

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It is really heartbreaking to see how Jin-joo's self-confidence has been eroded over the years. She went from someone who turned a guy down without a second thought, to a woman who cannot even imagine she could have been nominated May queen. On the opposing hand, Ban-do went from a guy who was too afraid to approach the girl he crushed on, to a guy who openly approaches her. It seems that over the years of their relationship, Jin-joo and Ban-do applied the perspective of their relationship to themselves in different ways. In the process, instead of meeting in the middle, they passed by each other. One of the biggest issues of the relationship is a lack of communication, clearly they were too head over heels to fight seriously before marriage. Though, I think @abirdword is right, that Ban-do's lack of aspirations outside of his current relationship status is quite concerning, and that he may have more problems in his past that he needs to correct than he thinks.

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The show's got a lot of work to do if it wants me to invest in BD and JJ's reunion. At this point, I absolutely don't want it to happen. I find BD to be extremely emotionally abusive >:(

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They're making it to easy to fall for Nam-gil. Unfortunately for Nam-gil, Ji-ho may flutter a bit for his sweetness but she is to far gone on her ex for him to stand a real chance. I just hope Ban-do gets his act together and sees the effect of his negativity that everyone else surely can. Unless he can support his wife with positivity he shouldn't have one. Not that Ji-ho is perfect. It seems that she disparages his behavior to her, not put down every thing he does like he seems to do to her.

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you mean Jin Joo. Not Ji-Ho :)

(but omg btiofl ep8 is liek whoa)

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Ha. Can you tell I've spent alot of time commenting on BIOFL today. Thank you

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I think you are watching Because its my first life jajjaja since your subconcious typed Jiho instead of jinjoo

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Thank you for the recap, abirdword!

I loved it when Jin-joo walked on that stage and proved Band-do wrong, more than proving him wrong, I wanted her to do it for herself, it's sad seeing how she's lost all her confidence and how she doesn't believe that she's still pretty, in the past years (in the future?) she kind of just lost herself in being a wife and a mother, so I was really happy seeing her enjoying herself on that stage and doing something she loves like singing, just letting go and being herself.

Ban-do not knowing what he likes is his biggest problem really, and it’s actually kind of sad, he’s helping Seo-young find what she loves when he’s the one who needs help! I hate it when Ban-do’s putting down Jin-joo but like what abirdword said, I think it’s his self-defense mechanism, to cover for his insecurities, that’s why he needs to finds something he loves to do and is confident in to get rid of these insecurities! I’m just hoping that they both fix themselves first before they find their way back to each other because that epilogue was too adorable for me to not root for them!

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I'm sorry Ban-Do but Jin-Joo and Nam-Gil are just too cute together. You're not really showing why you're better for her, but Nam-Gil is melting me with his looks towards Jin-Joo.

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Out of all drama right now, this is my no1 show. The writing is excellent, there is no dull or boring moment. While other shows feel like they just fill the time with not much to tell, any epi here is good from start to finish. The way they tell story is very simple but everything is just right. All the actings are on pair with each other, it goes smoothly from scene to scene.

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I TOTALLY AGREE!

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The salt bae and Descendants of the Sun reference though....😂😂😂

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Add in the goblin reference too.. It's a beautiful day,.....

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This episode has not made it any easier to want Ban do to get back together with. Jin joo . namgil sunbae is so ideal for her.

i dont thing bando and ballerina will workout. He seen s too emotionally detached. Almost as if it is all an experiment too him. On the other hand i still dont want him with jinjoo as a default. There has to be a compelling reason for jinjoo to return to him.

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True that. I’d been trying to root for Ban-do but each ep, I would be disappointed at Ban-do on how bad he’s treating Jin Joo. This episode is clearly not helping with my SLS. I want more reasons why Ban-do is worthy to be given second chance, and not just him trying to get back with Jin Joo after seeing how pretty she’s on the stage and how most of the guys have crush on her because she’s pretty much the famous college girl or because of Seo Jin. To me, Ban-do is a jerk for pursuing Seo Young because if he ends up with her (which is highly unlikely), then he’s clearly not worth for Jin Joo because he goes straight back to his first love, but if he ends up trying to get back with Jin Joo, then he clearly is breaking Seo Young’s heart and sort of playing with her because SY is clearly has fallen for him. So yeah, either way, I don’t like that kind of guy.

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Thank you for the recap @abirdword! As usual, i love the episode ☺. And the epilogue is so cute! I'm still rooting for both bando and jinjoo's happiness, be it they end up together again in 2017 or not. I really hope they will discuss in depth about what turned them against each other~ huhu

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I'm really enjoying this show. As a person who has been married for over 30yrs...I get this. My husband and I have fought to not fall in these ditches. But it's taken fighting for it...both of us. I think they are both equally at fault for the deterioration of their marriage. Their equal lack of communication has caused them to greatly misunderstand and not understand each other. What men have to do in Korea and Japan for work can be terribly degrading....I wonder if the wives really understand. It's no excuse for his berating her....but she's cocooned herself up too. It's not entirely his fault that she has let herself go and gotten lost in home keeping, she has made choices too. I have a feeling they will both see their faults and weaknesses and will find new ways to communicate and uphold and encourage one another in what will probably be new pursuits and interests. I'm looking forward the redemption and growth of all the characters.

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I feel that the difference is how they act out with their faults. Jin-joo does not understand what her husband goes through to keep them afloat (which is, as you said, a communication problem on both sides), and she is very self-centered in that her biggest angst was that she was getting old and ugly, while Ban-do went through a lot of stress and humiliation at work and did not have any room to breathe at home. However, Ban-do is the one who insults and mocks Jin-joo when she buys new clothes, or when she says someone confessed to her before they dated, or such. Some people can take it as a joke or just ignore it, but it teared up Jin-joo inside over time. She mocks him about his first love, but honestly... I do feel it is kind of a douchebag thing to research on your first love like that.

Both of them have faults that resulted in a bad marriage, but I do feel that Ban-do is not good for Jin-joo more than the opposite, and if he was to marry the second lead, eventually he would turn to bad habits. While Jin-joo would be more comfortable when she knows that the one she likes doesn't insult her for not being perfectly presentable all the time.

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I disagree with the assessment that jinjoo's biggest angst is getting old and ugly. These concerns certainly play into their relationship problems--bando doesn't exactly help to dispell these beliefs--but i believe the source of her angst is actually a lack of affection. He demeans her a lot, from the clothes she wears to rejecting the possibility she was ever someone's first love. This sudden attention from namgil has set her heart fluttering and it is understandable because she has not received this attention from anyone in a long time. As much as i am rooting for namgil (because he is just this almost perfect white knight), i also recognize that jinjoo does not hold the same affection towards him (oh my breaking heart). I hope he breaks through but it is looks like that wont be enough...sigh....unless the writer pulls one on us (like snow white or the perfect neighbor...old dramas).

I would also agree that jinjoo was not exactly the perfect spouse either. She did not quite understand the difficulties bando was facing. Pressure from work and likely jinjoo as well contributed to bando's less than satisfactory outlook on his life. She did not seem like the most understanding individual either. Both their behaviors reinforced an unhealthy relationship.

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seeing gong-gi made me miss the strongest delivery man team..
The descendants of the sun parody was hilarious.

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So finally the couple are interacting the way I wanted them to, I've been waiting for this :-P

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Oh gosh. i am married usually i am all for the married people to fix their relationship and work for the marriage. Strange enough, i am not leaning into Ban Do this time. I feel like what is the point of knowing that his wife was all cute and lovely when you are 38 after miserable lifetime together. I think any woman should be loved by person who adores her no matter what. Like telling his wife she isnt beautiful on dress, wth...

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While Jin-joo was happily singing her heart out, tears were shed here when ‘memories of the future’ came flooding back to Ban-do. Jin-joo was so pretty and talented yet when she married him, she lost that side of herself and assumed the identity of only 'little Seo-jin’s mother'. It is so relatable as some of us are actually in Jin-joo's situation; asking how did we turn out this way and where the hell did the gutsy us go. You are still you, woman! --> wonderful as ever!

On a lighter note, I’m just going to swoon over jin joo x nam gil's height differences. Seriously. I don't even have a fetish on vertical measurement (did that came out weird?) but nam gil's height really did something to my heart! ;P

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i was laughing so hard, when Nam gil was trying to make Jin Joo feed him, but so much bad luck! The interruptions and the face of Nam gil was worth the watch! Loved that part.

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Exactly! I'm literally shouting on my screen "Damn, give him a piece of that spicy pork!" Poor Nam-gil oppa. HAHA!

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From the start and recent episodes makes me strongly object they get back together again. Ban do so not deserved jin joo. He' s so wrong and I hate eveyting about him. I even ffwd whenever his scene is up.
But I love that puppy trying to be cool alas failed because he so damn cute. So want man gil can win jin joo. I'm sure he will treasure her and dote her and want her attention only for her.

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I feel so proud to Jin-joo in this episode, so far we've seen (or heard?) that she indeed is a total package back in her 20s, beauty and brains. And now, it's also showing how talented she is. My heart ache thinking how she lost herself and her might-have-beens after getting married and being a full-time housewife & hands-on momma. While watching this show I can't help but think she really deserve a different story in the future, this girl has a lot of potential!

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She was a prickly person back in 1999 and was so picky to a fault. See the way she rejected namgil saying he was smelly. She was also a picky eater as her friends told. Not to mention she was also not much of a good daughter, it was her idea to run away from home for not getting a phone.
Yes, jinjoo deserves happiness, but back in 1999 she was happy with bando as apparent in the epilogues. I still find it mind boggling why she did not work after getting married. What was her daily activity from the day she got married till the day she delivered seojin? If its her choice not to work (or she agreed to the idea of not working), she is equally at fault for her decrease of confidence.

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You pick up on a good point. She was prickly when she was young but the difference here being when she was young. She has grown from being prickly and a germaphobe to an adult--she tells her mom to let her wash the dishes because she doesn't know when she will be a kid again. I prefer adult jinjoo in these aspects.

She may have become a housewife for different reasons but I do not think this really equates to a loss in confidence. I cannot recall if she ever complained about being a housewife or not working. If she did, I would agree that becoming a housewife led to a diminished confidence in herself and that this can be changed in the future. The loss in confidence appears to be connected with something else. Maybe lack of affection?

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My question is why did the baby come so late in their marriage? They married young, she stayed home (why if you didn't have children?) and BD clearly stated he wanted to have kids. I would have expected this couple to have a few teenagers by now, not a toddler.

Were there fertility problems? A tragic loss? I just think there's more story there--perhaps it has something to do whatever happened between BD and the mom?

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the writer wants to make it dramatic (little seojin, long relationship, middle aged) but forget to integrate the three elements

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Seriously for the last two episodes I’ve been more or less like Ban Do WHO??? As you can see I am having seriously chronic SLS, and all I can think about is Nam Gil and how hot and swoony he is and how smitten he looks when he gazes at Jin Joo!!! This is one ship I am going down with!

Right now Ban Do just irritates the hell out of me, the show is fighting an extremely tough uphill battle convincing it’s viewers why Ban Do and Jin Joo should get back together (ifnnotntaking little Seo Jin into account)! Makes me wonder if making the second lead so strong and lovable is a smart move on the show’s part...

Anyhoo, Nam Gil Nam Gil Nam Gil!!! 😍

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And how can you resist a dude with emotional eyes, right? :P

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I need thise emotional eyes to be only for me. If she is still into bando...please point him my way. Hahaha

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Lol. True. His looks are totally swoon worthy!! And he is unapologetic in the way he admires her. So sweet.

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Thank you for the recap @abirdword!
I didn't realize about the hairpin until you point it out. Cool! I'm gonna have to rewatch to check it again.

I love that this ep is all about JJ. She deserved someone better. Someone who can appreciate her for what she is and valued her better. Young BD was probably too love-struck when he married JJ, but even then he should have realized the responsibility he had to carry when marrying someone, right? I have never been impressed with BD, except for the time he gave great advises to SY about doing something you love while you can.

If BD and JJ are destined by Kdrama Gods to relive their life, BD better changed fast!

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I missed the hairpin, too! And I watched it twice. I just thought Bando randomly opened the bathroom stall door and got lucky, ha.

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yup, i completely missed that too. my other question is why did nam gil not lock the friggin the door? lol

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Hi all, it's already episode 6, and I've decided to write here my opinion of our OTP until now, mainly in defense of Ban-Do, specially since I saw so many comments about people going crazy with SLS and hating our main male lead. It's gonna be long, I wouldn't read it.

First of all, the way Ban-Do undermines his wife's confidence is not acceptable at all, I've seen that in real life and can sink any marriage; I think it happened because the man, who had this "full of himself personality" and was narrow-minded, could not stand his wife's personality, so when this couple I know got a divorce, both their lives improved.
But in my opinion Ban-Do is different though: the first scenes we saw of him showed us a man with a really hard job, where he was mistreated by his superiors. He worked really hard, it seemed, to provide for his family and he probably felt humiliated many times. That's probably why he came home and was so bitter (again, not acceptable, just trying to understand the root of the problem). So the problem wasn't he did not like and love his wife, actually we could see his emotions when she told him she wanted a divorce and in other occasions, he was taken aback and hurt.

On the other hand we had Jin-joo's first scenes: a hard working housewife who lives for her family, doesn't take care of herself and who receives insults from her husband.

Comparing both situations my first conclusion was his life was worse by far. I mean, he was not there for her when she was having problems with the baby, so I assume she was raising their baby almost on her own, but there are so many single mothers out there! House chores are harder than some "traditional husbands" think, but she doesn't have to work, and she has just one child. I was an au pair once (a experience in no way comparable with being a mother, I'm not saying that), and children are hard, specially in this case when she doesn't have help, but IMO the main problem is she doesn't have a personal life. She leaves the house to go shopping, but that seems to be about it. If she did activities like going to workshops, having drinks with friends (that is, have a drink or two, have fun and chat, not talking about getting drunk Kdrama-style), or even learning a language in a school, she would go out, meet people, and her self-esteem would still be alive. Better even, have a part time job doing sth she enjoys so that the husband doesn't feel so burdened. What to do with the child meanwhile? Well, daycare is a really good option, for a few hours every day or every other day, some people think it's cruel to take children so young to daycare, but in the case of those who have no siblings, they have the chance to interact with other babies and have a lot of fun (this is sth I witnessed as an au pair).

So yeah, still thinking Ban-Do is the one with the toughest life. When he didn't go home after having a terrible day, he probably didn't want to burden his wife/be seeing...

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(cont.)

When he didn't go home after having a terrible day, he probably didn't want to burden his wife/be seeing by her in these pitiful circumstances (there could be other explanations like he didn't want to put up with his family in that moment), so because of that decision (of not going home) his wife didn't get to know how bad he was feeling and instead thought the worse because of gossip.

Some people also think he didn't care that much for his kid, because he seemed to happy in the past. Disagree. This is the progression I've seen of their feelings in the past:

Day 1: They think it's a dream and try to enjoy it. At the end of the day Jinjoo thinks about the baby and cries. Of course, she is used to spending 24 h hours with him. Husband goes to sleep happy, still thinks it's a dream.

Day 2: They wake up amazed that they are still in the past. That means they could remain in the past for a while/forever. So of course Jinjoo misses her kid soon. Her husband, who only saw him when he arrived home, didn't realize it as soon, but once it did, together with meeting her parents, there was a change. His parents are still alive, so for her going back to the past hit her harder at first. As we got to know today, even if we the viewers didn't witness it, he went to the hospital to ask about his mother-in-law, so he does care about things.

Day 3 (or whatever day it's the last one we saw): she wakes up crying, he wakes up... I would say resigned, he is not happy any more to be back. He progressed a lot in his relationship with his first love, but there was a moment I loved this episode: after everybody left to go see the show, both our leads, in their different locations, had a pensive and sad look on their faces. He should be happy with his present past live, but he isn't. So for me the talent show when she sang wasn't about reliving the feeling of falling in love, but about realizing how could she used to be.

So, why do I not have SLS (I do like both second leads, a lot): second leads like Ban-Do and Jin-Joo they have become, not the real people they were in the past. If in the past it didn't happen, there was probably a reason. Maybe they could have fallen in love if they had talked more, but there is no denying what made a difference this time around is the persons they have become.

Do I want them to go back to the present and end up with the second leads?: if the leads have changed, the second leads as well most probably, maybe they are still awesome and well suited for each other, maybe not. The only way that would work in a drama (with a satisfying ending) anyway is if we came back to the present soon enough to meet and get to know the second leads in the present and that their relationships actually work.

Do I want our OTP together?: Of course, because I think they still love each other, and this is a drama and I want to see them solving their problems and building a happy marriage. I hope Ban-Do started...

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(cont.)

I hope Ban-Do started realizing how detrimental his actions were for Jinjoos self-esteem when she saw her singing, and that eventually he goes to her, explains it and apologizes. About his job, it's not easy starting a new career at 40, but he could take measures to improve things at work and to stop being humiliated. Meanwhile, Jinjoo should be realizing that her father loves her mother a lot and that things in life are not always black and white. I would also like her to see how hard her husband life is at work. And finally, I would love to see them having hobbies and a more balance work-family life.

Dramabeans shouldn't be allowed on computers, one can write theses!

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Wouldn't it be better if they are somehow changing their future RIGHT NOW and when they get back he WON'T have this humiliating job and she WON'T be this low self-esteem hausfrau?

That's my hope. But the baby has to stay.

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It would be better, but I don't know... I feel it wouldn't be real. Can't explain it, but I don't like the idea at all.

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* about realizing how cool she used to be

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Despite my love for namgil, i will put that aside for now (hahaha). My assessment of their relationship is less a comparison of who had the tougher life but what led to their discontent because It is difficult to compare their problems when they were leading somewhat different lives. Bando was the breadwinner and this weighed heavily on him while jinjoo felt like she was raising their son alone. The show has done a particularly good job at getting us to sympathize with jinjoo, so many of us may be biased in her favor...and it does not help that namgil is swoon-worthy. i felt like the show was more subtle with the root of bando's discontent. There were moments here and there but i never connected them until i saw it in writing, literally spelled out to me. (Dense...i know...hahaha) It was not until the recap when i realized he lacked his own goals and dreams. He had just seemed awkward in parts and in love at other parts.

I guess i cant quite empathize with the lessening of burdens argument for this couple. The problem for me with their relationship has always been this lack of communication. One could argue that you are supposed to burden each other with your worries and your fears by sharing them so you can help one another. This doesnt seem to happen.

They still love one another despite the divorce. He initally bought up the divorce because of his work notebook and she was visibly surprised by it. She brought up the divorce and he was surprised as well. And the gossip was not exactly gossip; the charges showed up on the credit card bill. This would lead one to assume a spouse was cheating, which could have all been avoided if they just talked to each other about these things... Relationships can begin due to mutual attraction but it takes work to ensure it lasts; while they still love one another it seems as though they gave up long before the divorce.

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Matta! I forgot the credit card bill, so it was not gossip then, I was thinking somebody showed her a picture, maybe I'm mixing dramas now... 😛

"The show has done a particularly good job at getting us to sympathize with jinjoo, so many of us may be biased in her favor..."
Agreed, that's why I felt the need to defend Bando.

"One could argue that you are supposed to burden each other with your worries and your fears by sharing them so you can help one another. This doesnt seem to happen."
Exactly! That's why that day he should have gone home instead of spending the night in his car.

Thank you for your thoughts, I felt my long comment was appreciated!

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Good point, abiword, about Bando having no aspirations for himself. It also seems like maybe Jinjoo didn't have any, either. That puts a lot of pressure on a relationship when each person is relying on the other for their happiness/satisfaction in life.

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I am really loving this show. It’s the right mix of humor and emotions. I think the main reason their marriage fell apart was because neither of them loved themselves nor were happy with themselves. You can only he happy when you love yourself first. I hope both of them find their happiness and peace in this time slip.

Like many, am not yet routing for Ban Do. (It doesn’t help with Nam being so gorgeous!!)
I am quite amazed at the progress Jin hoo has made since her time slip. She looks like a person who had introspected her life and when given an opportunity she is making the best - her interactions with her mother, being a protective friend and making sure she enjoys her life and doesn’t disappear, trying to enjoy her life and not being uptight, building her confidence etc. while Ban seems to have hardly had any introspection. I hope to see his moment and growth in the next few episodes.

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By the end of this episode, i was sure it was a journey of healing and journey of self discovery for both jinjoo and ban doo. In the process that their love took a backseat, and when the going gets tough, they ended up being each others' harshest critic instead of communicating and supporting each other. Over the years one puts down the other. The other criticises his lack of ability to provide. They hurt each other over and over again be it through ignorance, negligence or harsh words.
We also now see that the jinjoo of old was a vibrant person who lost her sparkles. We also see that bandoo was aimless and had no real direction. I want to see what this guy is good at, what is the path that he should have traveled. I want to see jinjoo brings back to the future/present her selfconfidence. And i want to see both of them being more emphathetic to each other.
I still cry everytime jinjoo cries recalling her son. Im clutching my heart hoping the epilogue of this story wont disappoint

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I discover and decided which ship im on. Not BD. Not NG. Im on Jinjoo's ship. I hope she finds her happiness and reunited with her baby.

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Other than the baby back home in the future, I see no worthwhile reason for this couple to get back together. Ban Do is an emotionally abusive man. I've been married 25 years and I do understand how couples grow apart during those early years of parenting. Getting caught up in different worlds of responsibility, lack of sleep, feeling like youthful identity is lost. I get it. I've lived it. My husband is nowhere near perfect, but in a quarter of a century, he has never put me down in the ways Ban Do has. He has never criticized or berated my weight, clothing choices, bad haircuts, etc. Ban Do mocks his wife in every way. It's degrading and depressing. If Jin Joo was your mom, sister, best friend...would you want her to live with that type of man? I'm going to hug my husband a little tighter tonight because I'm so lucky.

Ban Do has to change a heckuva lot more than just making mooney-eyed faces at Jin Joo when she looks pretty in a dress on stage? And don't act like a jealous peacock in a bathroom stall when you're actively pursuing another woman (who is super bland IMO). Gimme a break!

I find this drama entertaining, but I'm not rooting for the main couple. It's a pretty sad day when I'm rooting for divorce.

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agreed with you.

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Totally agree!

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If you knew your husband would end up like that when things don't go well, it may be better not to have started at all. Take a chance with another relationship and take that as a bad nightmare.
But... if we do get that chance to go back, I'd really treasure the moments with a mum who is no longer with me at present. Those scenes with Jin Joo's mum always made me cry buckets. I'd want to go back, not to change anything because I still want my baby back with me if/when I return but I'd live my life to the fullest and treasure every small moments with her.

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I think the delivery of this drama is so good. The past is compressed to this 5 minutes skit in the end... but it you know that there was massive affection and love in them. "What really happened" is minimized to the point that the viewers may ignore it if they wanted and dealing with the "the alternate past" which seems sweeter because is happening now, but Ban Do and Jin Joo of the past experienced mutual love the first time probably had a larger than life experience.

Don't get me wrong both the second lead seems like the better option and it's so hard to ship Ban Do with Jin Joo when he's such a turd who had demolished her self-esteem.... But I do understand the treatment of the "real" past is realistic. People often forget that possibly all relationships come with rose-tinted glasses, and when usually the true challenge is when the glasses break and reality sets in... what do you do?

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Jinjoo is actually verbally abusive too if you watch closely.

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Does anybody know the name of the song that Jin-joo's mom sings?

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I guess I'm not getting the dislike for the male lead. All we're seeing is a few moments in the past where he was thoughtless or unkind, but for right now we have to remember they have just been divorced. That kind of anger can't be matched, especially because it arose primarily from a misunderstanding on her part that he was cheating, and his pride has been so beaten down he doesn't even think to clear things up, thinks she just hates him because he's worthless.

As for Jin Joo, can we give her a break for being a tired mom even if you yourself were a supermom. Those first few years after a baby, when you have no money because no good job between you, you never see your spouse he's working too many shifts, I've been there and it's depressing, the only good thing is your baby's smile.

I think we'll find they had a good relationship for years, but slowly lost their way because of co-dependence and never figuring out what they wanted from life apart from each other. Much as they love the baby, it put new pressures on their marriage, gave them other priorities. I'm finding this very realistic, story of my life and marriage.

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I agree with this completely! Ban Do and Jin Joon have just been through a trying divorce process and are hurt are lashing out at each other. I don’t find that Ban Do is particularly emotionally abusive though his words and tone may have been dismissive or mocking. Now he mostly seems resigned and wistful, which to me is a consistent and completely understandable reaction to their very recent breakup. He misses Seo-Jin so much too!
I do hope they both get to talk things out and grow into better people and partners from this strange and wonderful experience.

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i really adore nam-gil. he's so swoon-worthy!!! in rewatching his moments with jinjoo, i have to say that i love his facial reactions when she's not looking at him. some of my favorites include when he told her he didn't like her and you could visibly see how terrified he was and when he took the candy bar away from her. he's so facially expressive. I love it!! (squeee....)

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This episode seriously begins to sabotage the secondary love interest stories. Both characters ended looking at the two leads thinking "What in heck is going on with these two?" And lets not forget the 'Chekhov's gun' plot time bomb of one of the school friends knowing the couple were married and divorced with a child. This story could all get very messy very quickly.

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I marathoned and finally caught up! I love the second leads and the interactions with them are really sweet. BUT this is the stage where a relationship starts. There's no telling how it would turn out once they actually get married. It is then misleading for them to compare this to the relationship they've had as a married couple. They now need to understand why their marriage didn't work out. They obviously love each other but is that enough? First of all, they need to stop putting each other down. At first I thought Bando is the only offender but thinking back, Jinjoo also did the same to him. I really want them to get back together but it would take so much more than love for that to happen. Fighting!

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thanks for the recaps abirdword! i didn't get the reference to DOTS coz i didn't watch the show, thank you for pointing it out.

this is like the nam-gil show of cuteness and him trying to get a sample of jin-joo's cooking was comedy gold!

now that ban-do is slowly seeing jin-joo in a different light, he needs to step it up pronto!! coz if i were jin-joo, i'll pick nam-gil in a heartbeat. he was so just adorable trying to decide how to give jin-joo the new dress.

but then the epilogue is just sweet, ban-do declaring jin-joo as his GF for all to see:)

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Jin-Joo singing reminded me so much of the female lead dancing in "Twenty Again" because it was also about an older woman rediscovering her self-confidence and I loved that scene just as much as I did this one. Many events made her lose confidence in herself and a big factor is her husband. The way he puts her down all the time enrages me. This is emotional abuse, pure and simple. Ban-do is going to have to change a hell of a lot before I start rooting for him.

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This drama does give me some pretty strong Twenty Again vibes, and I am hoping we will get an equally good transformation for Jin-joo.

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What I like the most about this show? The directing... I will look out this PD from now on... What a well shot drama!

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I'm most invested in the Jae-Woo / Bo-reum drama right now! Hoping that there's a similar dual meaning to 'easy' in Korean as in English, and it's all a misunderstanding. I think they're a super cute couple, despite the ominous future references.

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