[2017 Year in Review] A year of discovery
by Guest Beanie
When 2017 arrived, I was determined to make something out of it. Lose weight. Work better. Save more. Read more. Predictable at most, but just like the rest of us, I wanted some sort of change in my life, even if it meant embarrassingly not following through in the long run. As the first few months of the new year went by, I saw myself having more of everything that I did not want. I was constantly given more responsibilities at work. An extra few pounds in some places. And an extravagant spending habit. Suffice to say, I was not happy with my life and was constantly thinking about how to improve it while feeling miserable that I didn’t have the motivation do it.
It was then that I saw myself turning to Korean entertainment to make me feel a little better. The funny thing was, Korean dramas were not new to me, but I had this newfound fondness for them. They made me feel and think more. I began to be emotionally engrossed with the characters and the story from beginning to end. I would criticize a show so intensely and ask myself why or how I managed to finish it (The Lonely Shinning Goblin, Hwarang). I was just having so much fun discussing and writing what I thought about the dramas that I felt like I was actually doing things, writing about things that I actually love. I was happy.
Lingerie Girls’ Generation
I was obsessed with that feeling. I wanted to feel more of it. I wanted to discover more, so I decided to watch more. It came to a point where I had Chicago Typewriter, Ruler–Master of the Mask, Suspicious Partner, Lookout, Fight My Way, and Circle on my currently watching list.
It was at that point that I began to feel like I was wasting too much time on dramas that apparently meant nothing to me. I wanted to feel things but sadly, the dramas were giving me the same old thing. It was becoming disappointing, being annoyed at those what-the-hell-are-you-doing-with-your-interesting-concept moments (Reunited Worlds, While You Were Sleeping, Tomorrow With You). I wanted escape, but I ended up just being frustrated. I was disappointed in the fiction I had consumed. Soon, I realized I was no longer productive during weekends. I was wasting important time and frustrated at the reality I had put myself into.
But the last half of 2017 changed my perspective. I was given dramas that felt alive and real (Age of Youth 2, Lingerie Girls’ Generation). I was given stories that threw me into a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts (Rescue Me, Circle). It gave me dramas that were so simple but satisfied my heart completely (Because This Life Is Our First).
Age of Youth 2
It was a turning point, slowly realizing what I actually wanted in life and well, in dramas. It was no longer about overanalyzing the bad and the good. It was no longer about sulking because of what I have failed to do or realize. It was just about having that emotional connection with a story and its characters. It was about appreciating and relating to reality through a fictional lens. It was learning that things could change if I think differently.
2017 made me realize that I need not have much to actually feel things. I learned to not seek for more, but to look for what I actually need or can do in order to feel more alive. To appreciate and understand that the small things can have a great impact in life. And lastly, that something better can happen in life despite everything that I have experienced.
So I welcome 2018 with a new perspective, a more open and determined mind, while savoring new dramas and new moments that speak to me.
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