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[2017 Year in Review] K-drama Non-productivity Suite

Subject: Feedback on Kdrama Non-productivity Suite™ 2017
From: mary
To: Dramaland

Dear Dramaland,

I’m sending feedback on a couple of your programs I finished and liked this year. Please use it to improve v.2018 of your Non-productivity Suite.

Your loyal customer,
mary

Subject: Rescue Me’s Woo Do-hwan bug?
From: mary
To: Dramaland

This program was as creepy as advertised.

I felt Sang-mi’s desperation to overturn this cult that’s holding her family and a village’s worth of people mentally hostage. But I was also awed at how Father Baek worked your fear on a gut level, making you wonder why you want to torch him when he’s just serving you a friendly cuppa.

Actually, everyone in this program was great, right down to the cult members who drank the Almighty Father’s leg wash.

There’s only a minor problem. In the preview material, we were told that Taecyeon is one of the main features. In reality, something called Woo Do-hwan took over a majority of this program, sneaking around in dangerous places and giving me stress-induced ulcers. Is this a bug? Please advise.

Subject: Re: Rescue Me’s Woo Do-hwan bug?
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Dear mary,

Woo Do-hwan is a feature, not a bug. If you have further questions, please contact the the volunteer beanies offering 24/7 Woo Do-hwan support. You can also check out Mad Dog from the 2017 Non-productivity Suite for more Woo Do-hwan features.

Subject: Age of Youth 2 Ji-won phaseout???
From: mary
To: Dramaland

Look, I’m glad you increased the focus on Ji-won for v.2017, but you only fixed half of last year’s major bug! The Ji-won/Sung-min connection is still incomplete. AND you dropped some well-loved features from last year like Kang Yi-na and Chef. Even if the new characters made v.2017 a good stand-alone program, it would’ve been great to see all the old faces, since we love everyone from v.2016 and now v.2017 too!

But the biggest issue for v.2017 is the announcement regarding Song Ji-won’s sudden end-of-life. Why are you phasing out the most popular part of the program? Please fix this critical issue in v.2018 as I would like to enjoy Age of Youth every year until v.2050, if possible.

Subject: Re: Age of Youth 2 Ji-won phaseout???
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Thank you for your continuous interest in this program. We regret to inform you that:
[1] there are no plans to create v.2018 at this point,
[2] Song Ji-won feature is scheduled to end in year 2025.

Subject: Re: Re: Age of Youth 2 Ji-won phaseout???
From: mary
To: Dramaland

Dear Dramaland,

I hate you.

P.S. We all noticed you switch your supplier for Eun-jae.

Subject: Mystery Queen’s Scooby Gang
From: mary
To: Dramaland

I like that you had a lot of programs in this year’s Non-productivity Suite where the lady is the one calmly solving problems while everyone panics around her. Out of them all, Mystery Queen’s Seol-ok is my favorite: a busybody ajumma solving crimes and burning dinners (but never friendships!) using nothing but her obsession love of mystery novels. Plus, she isn’t anti-social at all. Not all geniuses are assholes that need to learn how to be human. Who knew?

I love the rest of the gang too. The exasperated grumpypants Wan-seung who can’t help but acknowledge Seol-ok’s genius, the moody Inspector Woo who treats Seol-ok as his equal in sleuthing, bestie Kyung-mi who’s a capable businesswoman and great at covering for our ajumma instead of just an excuse for spilling the heroine’s secrets, and Detective Crinkles McPuppy: Pioneer Member of Seol-ok Support Squad.

I’m glad you’re making a v.2018. Please bring back the adorable Scooby Gang and I’ll thank you forever, Dramaland!

Subject: Re: Mystery Queen’s Scooby Gang
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Dear customer,

We regret to inform you that we can’t bring back the whole “Scooby Gang” for v.2018.

Subject: Re: Re: Mystery Queen’s Scooby Gang
From: mary
To: Dramaland

See: I hate you.

Subject: Tunnel missing records?
From: mary
To: Dramaland

I didn’t open this right away as it looked like a recycled version of last year’s Signal. But it differentiated itself by dialing down the time-jumpy tricks and building more emotional connections in the present time.

It’s a pity though, because those connections were also the reason why the ending depressed me. All the friendships Kwang-ho built in the present were erased when he changed the past. Sure, you left hints that the two families remained close and the kids grew up together, but we’ll never know if Kwang-ho was still the grumpy dad-in-law, or if Sun-jae ever became a smartass detective with a chip on his shoulder, or if Dr. Shin became an expert in criminal psychology.

Can you tell us what happened in the new “present”?

Subject: Re: Tunnel missing records?
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Dear customer,

Our records show that someone restarted the program Tunnel without saving the changes to their work. Any progress made regarding Detective Sun-jae and Dr. Shin Jae-yi have been deleted and cannot be recovered.

Subject: Unknown program Unknown Woman?
From: mary
To: Dramaland

I found this program called Unknown Woman in this year’s Non-productivity Suite. It has the program type .mkjng. Did you send it to me for a free trial?

I don’t normally use this type of program as most reviews say it’s unwieldy. But I found Unknown Woman very robust. You can come back to it after skipping a few episodes and be entertained without missing much. It’s like a lot of things are happening every episode and yet… it doesn’t matter because a lot more things will still happen anyway, so there’s no pressure about missing one “major” twist out of a hundred.

Anyway, thank you for adding Unknown Woman to this year’s Non-productivity Suite. I might check out other .mkjng programs in 2018.

Subject: Re: Unknown program Unknown Woman?
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Dear customer,

Please be careful when opening programs of type .mkjng.

Most users report immense confusion and increased blood pressure when exposed to this type of program. It’s a virus that uses 10x more hooks and plot twists, allowing it to fake story progression and eat up a huge chunk of your precious non-productive time.

Subject: Request for new character in Voice
From: mary
To: Dramaland

Kwon-joo is my second-favorite supergirl from you this year, Dramaland. A cool-as-beans police officer with superhearing, saving the world while giving whiny men her best poker face? Yes, yes, and yes! But there’s a bug similar to Rescue Me, where Kwon-joo and her powers didn’t get enough focus as promised.

I’m not angry. I’m just curious. Was there a point in her life where she rejected her talent? Did having superhearing make her over-reliant on it and cause blindness in other areas? I need to know!

You obviously have to make a v.2018 of this program. Give her the full superhero treatment. And write her a villain with more tricks other than being terribly handsome and gory. Someone who will use knowledge of her superpowers against her. Someone who’s as good as Kim Jae-wook at being creepy and ambiguous. Actually, I know a guy…

Subject: Buam-dong Revenge Club as teaching material?
From: mary
To: Dramaland

Hi Dramaland,

I like this program so much. Just a suggestion: can you send a copy of this program to Kim Nam-gil and tell him there’s a way to satisfy a revenge and NOT die?

Subject: Forest of Secrets
From: mary
To: Dramaland

I know there is a lot of love for Shi-mok Bot and Mother Hen Yeo-jin, especially with news about your upcoming v.2018 (v.2019?) But I think what also made this program great is all the secondary features you added. They made Forest of Secrets a real forest of… uhm… secrets, where you’re alternating between wanting to hug someone and handcuff them because you can’t tell who’s good or bad anymore. Except for my favorite Weasel a.k.a. Seo Dong-jae.

In this program where everyone is shady, Seo Dong-jae is the only one you can trust. You can trust him to backstab you. Always. There’s something refreshing about his honest duplicity. It’s not personal. He’s just trying to survive. He’s the best weasel that ever weaseled its way out of such a tangled mess.

Please make sure that in v.2027, when Shi-mok has 3+1 emotions and Yeo-jin has moved up to doing still-life sketches, the Weasel is still there to remain our constant in this twisted show.

Subject: Account Suspension
From: Dramaland
To: mary

Your account has been suspended for suspicious activity.

We have traced a flood of messages from your account:
ELLEN PLS INVITE THE WEASEL
WHY ARE Y’ALL SLEEPING ON WEASELS
WHO’S WATCHING THE WEASEL IN 2027???
WEASEL IS OUR KING

Your suspension will be lifted after 30 days. Creating multiple accounts or trying to circumvent the suspension in any way will result in a permanent ban.

Subject: WEASEL IS OUR KING
From: not mary
To: Dramaland

I am a composer sending you my original work for use with Weasel’s character in v.2018 of Forest of Secrets. You don’t have to pay me anything.

WEASEL IS OUR KING

Weasel is our King,
Weasel is our King,
He didn’t die or get locked in (jail)
Weasel is our King

Weasel can hear anything
He’s by your door, just eavesdropping
That’s why drama fans all sing
Weasel is our King!

-not mary

Subject: Account Termination
From: Dramaland
To: mary, “not mary”

Your Kdrama Non-productivity Suite account has been terminated due to violation of our Terms of Use.

 
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Laughed so much while reading this, thank you Mary! Your wittiness is incomparable! πŸ˜‚

I loved the Weasel too, for exactly what you said! He was such an unapologetic and opportunistic backstabber, I ended up loving his character rather than being annoyed. Very well acted by Lee Joon Hyuk.

P.S. I love your version of Weasel is our King πŸ˜‚

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Oh dear... Dear @mary!! What a wonderful review. 😁 πŸ˜‚ I was trying to subdue the chortles throughout while reading, so that the colleagues would not notice my Non-Productivity. Felt that it was better to re-initialise (go out and eat) or encounter a hang (from the boss).

Sounds like Dramaland System Support needs an upgrade. System won't sync with Viewer Version 2018. Can we offer a bug fix with a bugbear and just scare them into integrating your critical data requirements into Suite 2018? 😝 πŸ˜‡

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This is just the best year-end review possible. It wasn't until I looked at it again on my laptop (instead of my phone) that I saw the little captions on the boxes. Are they actual quotes from the dramas? Genius.

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Anybody else sing 'Weasel is our king' to 'Farmer in the Dell'? What tune is it supposed to go with?

This explains all the weasel tweets on mary's timeline.

mary turns out to be the secret long-lost illegitimate daughter of Dramaland's CEO. With her super coding powers, she takes over and inserts SJR into all dramas. Also, she cuts all of tvN's episodes to 53 minutes. Yay! #welovemary trends.

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Haha. My mkjng tags were accepted as real HTML.

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This is just pure awesomeness, mary!!! ❀️ Normally, I don't read year end reviews of dramas I didn't watch but I read everything here and "unknown program and unknown woman?" had me in stitches. Now, I totally want to try my hand at makjang.

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Yeah that and 'Woo Do-hwan is a feature, not a bug'. PURE GENIUS.

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I'm dead @the Harry Potter weasel song turning up here. Mary, you really are a genius.

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We're all living in 2017 while Mary is living in 2037! πŸ˜‚ Awesome review Mary! ❀️

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Dear @mary This is perfect. Thanks Wang Mu-stela.

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Dear @mary and @notmary ,
Thank you ! I've watched FoS and Tunnel, and I'm at ep2 of Avengers Social club, but I laughed for every post of your non productivity suite (Lol at that .mkjng type πŸ˜‚) .
Looking forward to v.2018, hoping you'll have back your account , or maybe a not-not-mary but it's a double negative , not sure the admin will allow it πŸ˜‚, well good luck ;) !

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Thanks, everyone, for being so sweet and enjoying this post. :') It's a bit cheesy to say this, but I love watching beanies have fun even if I'm just lurking in your fan walls and comments sometimes. Heh~ I'm glad that there's this place online where we can hang out and just be silly with each other.

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aw mary *sending a lot of finger hearts :) * , it's thanks to you and all DB staff : thank you again :)

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It should be Thank YOU, 😊 mary for being so sweet and enjoying the fact that we are enjoying ourselves. πŸ˜ƒ Thanks for using your awesome wit and tech-savvyness to contribute to the merriness, good humour and amusing fun times here. Catch you again! πŸ˜„

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Thank you for this wonderfully creative, informative (I now know about the .mkjng bug on my laptop and why I can't get rid of it) funny, oh so funny (Weasel man certainly was hard to hate, wasn't he?).
I so appreciate all of you who are part of Dramabeans and dramaland as I wouldn't have any other place to hear what others think, and even add my own thoughts now and then.
In other words, you all make me feel less alone.
Again thanks for such a good laugh this morning @mary!

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I like how the terms we normally use in tech are being used in dramaland! What a fun and geeky review! Thanks, Mary :)

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*Snaps* for Mary!

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Holy moly! This is amazing! I love it!

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Genuis, Mary. You never disappoint. Thanks for being there err here.

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I just had to log in to make a comment! Oh mary/not mary, I love you! This is pure genius. I almost didn't open it because I was weirded out with the title. LOL. Glad I did!

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It's like that gecko vs snakes documentary. You're surprised how he's still alive and then you start to feel attached to him. XD

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Haha, I slowly pressed the link "I know a guy..." just to confirm what I already knew and expected.(I know,shouldn't have doubted mary for a second lololol)
Also, that Weasly is our king pun!!
This is sooo awesome!!!
Shame on me,i didn't realize what is ".mkjng" until I came to the comment thread! That should be added to All-rights-belong-to-DB glossary to join OPW and otthers!

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@mary OMG this is hilarious XD Best Year-In-Review ever!!! Can we give Mary an award for this???

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πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚love this!

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Congratulations Mary! A tour de force review.
Re: Favorite weasel from Forest of Secrets, Seo Dong-jae.
I only know Lee Joon-hyuk from a couple of dramas but for me in Forest he was definitely cast against type and was terrific in the role of Seo Dong-jae.

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OK so your review of Mystery Queen made me curious. Up to ep 6 now.

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Waaah I’m so happy! It’s a cute show, I hope you like it :)))

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you are a genius! Love this review. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you :)

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Thank you~

By the way, I noticed your tiny icon doesn’t display your avatar! :( This was an old bug. We updated to fix it a month or so back. If you want, you can try reuploading your avatar.

Hihi sorry for this random reply. I couldn’t help but notice the missing icon.

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LMAO
Wow @mary this was pure genius!!!
I have watched only one show (that too not complete cuz I heard about Ssong's incomplete ending) from the shows you named but I haven't laughed this much in ayges!!

And to end it all with "Weasel is our King"??? Brilliant!!!
This HP nerd approves! ;)

Oh and of course you had to add Song Jae Rim somehow! I see you. :P

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Oh my God!! This is literally one of the best-most-hilarious posts ever and damn you are so right on point about Rescue me and Social avengers club!
Awesome post @mary!!😍

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mary, you are the literal best. You win all the things!

Thanks for popping into my recaps this year with your brilliant and hilarious comments, and for everything you do around here. ❀️❀️❀️

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Got around to seeing this now. But YASSSS! πŸ‘ Loved the ingenuity! Pure comedy gold. Now I'm off to seeing Forest of Secrets + Mystery Queen.

Loved how customer service warned potential customers about .mkjng files. I needed a warranty/refund against said damages that were caused.πŸ˜‚

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