Beautiful beautiful piece of writing and such a meaningful way to care for your loved ones, whether they are healthy or not. Take care of yourself as well!

I too used kdrama as a welcome escape when my dad was ill. I wish I could go over there and make you gallons of porridge. Thanks for the post and I pray for your strength and peace while you’re caring for your parents.

That was beautiful, @leetennant, thank you for sharing. I understand your situation just a little. My Mum finds it difficult to cook now - I've been making my meals since I was thirteen - and now I have dishes I just need to make sometimes. Often simple things, like vegetable couscous, are enough to make me feel comfortable and at home.

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story. You and your family have endured much in the past few years. I don't know if you pray or not so I'll just say I'll send out positive vibes into the universe for you and your family. Stay strong.

Amazing post as usual, @leetennant. Iwish you and your family the best. Having one parent in the hospital, let alone two, is difficult beyond words.

I’ve actually never had or attempted to make rice porridge before, but the temptation to do just that will surely be there next time I’m going through a rough patch—and if it’s a success, then surely to make it for loved ones in the future.

As a food-lover, I’ve always loved the importance that food plays in dramas. I often find that the right dish is just the thing I need to make me feel a bit better when I’m down in the dumps—and a good drama, of course.

You are super awesome! Well wishes to your parents.

Cheeeeeeef (in Park Bo-young voice). I miss "Ghostess" OTP.

Koreans are so generous with food. Everytime I eat at my friend's house they feed me well and send me home with more food and kimchi for my family.
Selfish little me doesn't always share my Korean food especially when a Korean mom cooks it.

@leetennant For impressive, emotionally-powerful writing, do you accept cash, credit, hugs, or the collection of tears that you caused with your words?

Oh, comfort food. Chicken rice porridge - whether we called it “arrozcaldo”, “juk”, or any other name, has been a staple throughout my life. My dad would always make it, and eventually, I learned too. Whether it was for sick family members, rainy days, or just a pick-me-up.

Thanks for sharing. *hands you my full bucket*

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom but hope the best for her and you and your family! I can relate to you on dad having prostate cancer as same thing happened to my dad and he was cleared from cancer after successful surgery too! I also relate to you as I have a very ill little brother and I started watching kdramas just as his health started to decline and I found so much comfort in kdramas. That year when I felt like I could start crying at any moment because of how sick my brother was, I had kdramas to cling to.

My brother is still sick but I haven;t lost hope that things can get better. i hope you continue to find comfort too. I've never tried korean porridge but have been curious to try it sometime. My little brother likes for me to take him to korean bakeries to buy breads though and we buy red bean filled buns to enjoy. I also got his birthday cake last year from his favorite korean bakery.

Wow, i actually use the time i spent in my hospital bed to catch up on the dramas i missed during all the checkups and the fightings against medical procedures. I lost the fight to the guilt trip that i would’ve left my mom all alone w/ my kids should i die of the tongue cancer i had (seriously, who actually died of oral cancer?) so i gave in to have surgery. I had to endure all the nasty side effects that come w/ the various treatments i was getting. The only escape i had from my reality was dramas. Beautifully written and well said. Even though i couldn’t eat anything for 6 months after my surgery, watching Let’s Eat actually ease my cravings and my resentment towards those who pushed me to get surgery.

Aw, saying “I love you” with food is universal. I’m happy to hear your dad let you care for him with a hearty porridge and kimchi meal and that he allowed himself to enjoy it. Thanks for the thoughtful drama and food post .

wow, your story is one full of LOVE -- that's fabulous!! it is true that meals are the grounding connection for family and friends. while my mom would shoo us 5 kids outside during summer, we most definitely had to be home by 5pm to eat dinner. i don't recall eating over at anyone else's house during my youth, if they weren't direct family.

both of my parents died of drawn out illnesses, so i can relate to the many hospital stints and dealing with recovery at home. jook (or okayu in japanese) is one of those dishes that we feed to our babies, eat when we're sick, and serve to aging parents who need soft foods...

regarding the kimchi -- you should try to make it with a friend or two (or your brothers!)... *winks* you can make it the way you prefer - more vinegary, more sweet, etc.

what you are doing is wonderful, your family is so lucky to have you! hope you are taking good care of yourself, as well!!

Thank you for sharing your juk story, @leetennant Chingumode!

Chicken soup in all its variations is balm for body and mind. How touching that you were able to finagle your Dad into eating breakfast by ambushing him with juk. And sharing the joy, and kimchi, with your brothers, too. ;-)

When my mother-in-law's brain tumor became terminal, my husband and I camped out at the family home halfway across the country for a month after getting a call that she wasn't doing well. One day it occurred to me that for many years she had avoided eating chocolate because of the seizures for which she had to take Dilantin. That got me thinking there might be other favorite foods that she had not had in a long time, or been able to make for herself, so I asked what she had a hankering for.

A grilled cheese sandwich. Not lobster. Not a thick, juicy steak. A humble and homey grilled cheese sandwich. Whomping one up for her made me happy at a time when there wasn't a damn thing I could do about the brain tumor that was slowly killing her. And she was happy to enjoy an old favorite.

The other food she had a yen for was "kolache," the fruit-filled pastries beloved of her Bohemian-American family. This Irish girl was in the dark, but Mom's best friend called up another Czech friend, who kindly shared her family recipe. Which fillings did she want? Raspberry and apricot. Done and Done. Mom's hospital bed was in the family room open to the kitchen, so she got to smell them baking. We had a kolache-fest.

I hadn't thought about this episode in 20 years. Thank you for reminding me that there were moments of happiness and quiet satisfaction during that trying time.

With best wishes for the health and well-being of your parents -- and you, too, my friend. ;-)

Thakn you for sharing @leetennant .
Like @spazmo said, your family so lucky to have you, I don't think I could be as filial as you but I wish, and I'm trying.
Chicken porridge is one of my favourit meals, you could add some fried onion which already thinly sliced as topping to bring the flavour even more.
Stay healthy and be stronger my friend!
Stay healthy and be strong.

What a lovely post. Thank your for sharing your story. It's not a coincidence that so many rituals, holidays, and gatherings are grounded by food, or that when we are at our highest and lowest points food also plays a central role in the shared experience. Your porridge, and the kimchi, both honor your father's memories, and create new ones. Food does so much more than fill our stomachs. I wish your family well, and hope your kimchi supply stays strong.

Thanks for sharing your personal story with us. Hope your mum gets better soon!

Thank you for taking the time to share such a personal story with all of us. Wishing you and your family strength and health.

Oh ChinguMode, that's so heartwarming and the tears are streaming down my face. My aunt, to whom I was like a daughter, died a year ago and she would have loved your story. I will think of you, your dad and brothers enjoying your juk and kimchi out on the deck in sunny Australia and I wish the best for your Mom's speedy return home. I've had it, and cellulitis is no joke!

Beautifully written and very well said.

Just lovely.
Agree, the waiting is horrible.

I want to say it was Boys Over Flowers is where I first saw mention of porridge. I had to look it up. Though hard to get the idea of oatmeal put of my head.

Ah, @leetennant, if only I could write as beautifully as you to express how much I love this!
"Possibly the worst part of family illness like this is the endless, almost unendurable waiting." I second this! It's awful for everyone involved, I'm glad there are things like Kdramas to keep us entertained ^^
I'm sure your mom also deeply appreciates you making porridge for your family. One thing I hate about people having to look after me is that they forget to look after themselves. It makes me feel guilty, and crappy, and all sorts of terrible, so I'm sure your mom has one less burden upon herself knowing that you're there being awesome. I hope you also remember to take care of yourself as well, though!
Have you ever tried sweet porridge? That's the only one I've ever made, I think it had walnuts and it was quite tasty, it felt like my soul was being given a hug.
I hope everything turns out well and you can have your mom next to you soon! <3

Very, very, very lovely your writting! Thank you so much for sharing also personal family matters. I agree with you, it is beautiful when Food is about sharing with family. And having lived for a while in the U.S., now living in Germany, but coming originally from Southamerica, I can tell you, for me Food is something in the middle. Sometimes I have to eat it in a rush, sometimes i have to eat alone, sometimes i can eat a banquet with friends, but since i am an immigrant, few and fewer i have the chance to eat with family. Meditating about it, I have to agree with you so much, because i wish we would have been more like koreans and enjoy food with family so that i could have my memories now. But growing up poor, i also dont remember having enjoyed too much family life! :( Nevertheless, when we grew older and mature, we managed to meet at least once a year with my father in order to eat together and take pictures. We did that for some 7 years consequently, before two of us left the country. Now we are dreaming to get together in another country as well, since our older siblings also left out home country this year, and i hope, since I love cooking, I can be able to cook for them.
Your post, and in general, the theme of this month, made me eager to try to prepare a Korean dish, because I really really love cooking. Porrige may not be the deal, Kimchi maybe, as long as I don´t prepare it spicy, becaue I don´t like spicy food, and... Well... Maybe next post will be mine sharing with you all how i prepared my first korean dish ever!
I really hope, @leetennant, that your mother recovers. By the way, a good, plant based (if possible organic) nutrition is highly important for the recovery of any illness.

Thank you for this lovely piece @leetennant & I'm sorry to hear about how difficult the past few years have been for your family. *sending you bowls and bowls of porridge* My parents are approaching the legal senior citizen age, and lately the effects of age are starting to show. There's nothing major to worry about, but the tiny things I notice here and there - high BP, difficulty bending the knees, etc -worry me anyway. Your post has given me an idea for something I could do for them every once in a while. As an only child, I'm afraid I've been rather spoiled my whole life and cooking is not a skill I've developed. But off to the kitchen, I shall go.

I do agree that the depiction of food & family in dramas is absolutely wonderful. And with the way you write it, I now think of it as a character in and of itself.

Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us beanies. You are such a great daughter and your parents are so fortunate to have you. It is so hard to look after the sick ones and I applaud you for your stoicism, strength and endurance.

Speaking of porridge, it reminded me when my young daughter fell ill a few months ago and had to eat porridge to help her recover. Despite being of Chinese descent, my daughters have been brought up in a more Westernised environment and porridge is something that we hardly ever have (yes I suppose I'm partly to blame too). So when she was ill, I was advised by well-meaning relatives to let her have porridge - it would be easy on her stomach, said them so I read various recipes and cooked her some porridge. Apparently my young daughter was not too keen on porridge because after a few times, she complained, "Porridge again? Who ever invented porridge? Urghh...they are making my life miserable!" To that, I quipped, "Mothers who love their children despite their ingratitude, obviously". And now, I have to show her your article and I hope she gets the hint that when her dear mother is old and sick, she knows what to do... kee....kee...kee...

What a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing your story.

This is such a warm post and wish happiness for you and your family. I am sure mum is going to be fine soon. ☺️

And also food really is the golden way to share our love to our dear ones. 😋 I undoubtedly agree with you regarding that.

Thank you for sharing this beautifully written essay. My father also had a stroke a few years back, and we are still learning to juggle regular lives and ongoing parental health issues as well. In our case, my dad was the one who did all the cooking in the family. The first sentence my father struggled to say at the hospital was, "Don't forget to drink the soup I left on the stove!" Because apparently, that's how important soup is.

Hoping for the best for you and your family during this challenging time!

@leetennantnant Aww the love and the bond between your family is so sweet. I hope your parents get better and love that comfort food played a role in letting the enjoyment of small moments like eating together get magnified.

Thank you, @leetennant for your heartfelt, beautifully written, warm essay. I am touched by the story of love that you have shared.

I hope that your mother comes through this crisis quickly and regains her health. My heart goes out to your whole family. It is so important to remember to take care of yourselves as well as each other.

I could picture you making the porridge starting so early in the morning... You've created a warm memory and shared a loving moment with your family during a hard time! Surely this is a gift that will warm their hearts (and yours!) for a long time.

May you always find the kimchi (or other ingredients) you are looking for and may your table be a place of sharing and love.

❤️❤️❤️

I just lost my mum in Jan & I dont know how my dad will cope with this when fasting month come. For years, most of the time only 2 of them fasting together. I only can with them only in weekend. This year I need to work in weekend because something happen in my office. I dont know how I can handle this. But the most thing I will really miss when fasting month come is my mother's porridge.

So sorry for my bad English. 😊
Hope you will also take a good care of yourself!

Porridge, or “chao” in Vietnamese, is certainly a comfort food for me personally as well. As we all get older and more of our loved ones grow ill, your piece reminds us of how important food is in our healing, both physically and emotionally. You are a wonderful daughter. Thank you for writing this.

thank you for sharing your story! i'm amazed with people who really knows how to cook & seems like your family love the food that you make also:) food = love, i believe it that, coz food not only nourish their bodies but sustain their daily lives as well!

fighting!!!

😊 Such a lovely story of family and food ~

There no way I can find red bean here, but that sounds delicious!!

It is a wonderful piece of writing. Thank you very much dear @leetennant.

By mentioning porridge, it really brings back my memories. I was born in Thailand and have spent most time of my life in my home country. Thailand has a lot of different food, and we love to eat. As my grandfather came from China, we had to go to my grandparents' house every once in a while to celebrate a number of traditional occasions, and my grandfather just love boiled rice with different types of side dishes. I love it too.

By mentioning porridge and illness, I also have a personal story to tell. This is very special since I have never told anyone before except some who are extremely close to me, but I think your story some ways encouraged me to share this with you. About 5 years ago, I went to London to do my LL.M. at one very prestigious university. Before that I just graduated one LL.M. from a very good university in Scotland, but to be a judge here in my country it requires me to do 2 LL.M.s abroad. What I didn't know was that during the time I did my first LL.M., I somehow suffered from prolonged stress and some kind of trauma. Every signs of illness showed when I started my study in London. I spent the first 2 months in London practically lying in my bed, with some people coming to look after sometimes, and went to see a general practitioner provided by the university. I had irritated bowel syndrome as well as bad thoughts of harming myself which I didn't tell the GP. I didn't do it, just for your information. During this time, one of my flatmates cooked me a dish of porridge and that warmed my heart. He was not close to me, but he did this for me even I hadn't asked him for it. As my health got so worse, a housemaid from my country who was working at the dorm I was living in told me to call my parents immediately as she thought I was about to go insane. I had to drop out of the school and went home abruptly. Strange enough, I didn't have a chance to see a psychiatrist but somehow got recovered after staying in bed for 3 months and practically at home for the next 6 months. During the time I was lying semi-conscious in my bed, there were these dishes of porridge made by my mother and one house maid we hired. At the time I was weakest, I realized that love is never shown by words, it showed by actions. So I learnt to look at people's actions instead of hearing their words. I love porridge ever since.

Just for your information, my illness has already gone away and I value every minute from my life from that moment on. Life is indeed fragile, and everything EVERYTHING can happen any minute. Your story warms my heart, as the love among you guys is so evident. Please take good care of your parents AND yourself. You have to take care of yourself first in every situation to be able to take care of others. Please take care of others proportionately, just to the limit but not exceeds it. That's the only way you can regularly care for them (in my opinion...

I'll say honestly, I really stopped for a few moments at the first few lines.
But as I read on, I realized just how strong you are & probably a very big moral support for you parents.

Amidst all this, your idea for a simple porridge with kimchi was so thoughtful. It must mean so much to your father. ^^ And ofc, glad your brothers loved it as well.

What a nicely written article @leetennant , thank you for sharing your story.
Wishing you lots of comfort food & good health to you & your family :-)

@leetennant—Thank you so much for sharing this tender, relatable story.

When my mother suddenly died April 2014, my younger brother and I spent four weeks together as we dealt with the estate and packed away our mother's life.

Our Chinese Malaysian-born mom was not overtly affectionate but was always happy to cook for us. She was a marvelous cook who was strangely coy about her recipes. You'd ask her how she made something and she's always say, "Well you know ..." as she gestured vaguely to her stash of unmarked sauces.

That month was the worst time, but our meals—Mom's recreated recipes that we shared as we reminisced and mourned together—were some of the best moments I've ever had with my brother.

I did not expect a story about illness to be so heartwarming. It's nice to know you better, @leetennant.
I might understand my mother's recent food obsession a little better after reading it. It can be hard to say I love you, we don't do it often. Although I cannot eat more, I will not judge her so harshly.
Now I want to try me some porridge.

This was lovely! I am giving you the biggest virtual hug!

@rukia May 14, 2018 at 2:41 AM

“Wow! Now I want a proper recipe for this...! [Rotkohl]”

Your wish is my command, but I cannot guarantee that it's a “proper” recipe. It's more like a guideline. Personal taste is the order of the day. Please read through the notes before jumping into the recipe. ;-)

Auntie PakalanaPikake's Rotkohl Recipe
Inspired by Mutti S., Buchholz in der Nordheide, BRD

Page 1 of 4

INTRODUCTION

Red cabbage is a fall and winter crop, and is well suited to the hearty, warming meals that help us withstand winter cold. Its amethyst color contrasts beautifully with pureed or baked golden butternut squash. Rotkohl goes well with main courses consisting of fresh and smoked pork such as Kassler Rippchen and ham; sausage such as Bratwurst, Knackwurst and kielbasa; Wiener Schnitzel, beef stew, Sauerbraten, roast chicken, roast beef, and quiche Lorraine [or Zwiebelkuchen (onion tart) – washed down with frothy Federweisser (new wine) if you can get it during the fall harvest]. Serve with Spätzle dumplings or boiled or roasted potatoes on the side.

For a switch from ramyun and kimchi while watching Kdramas, snack on Rotkohl while munching on a pair of Landjäger. I discovered these air-dried smoked sausages in Austria on my first trip to the German-speaking world when I was in high school. As our tour group traveled all over, I found the ideal road food to stash in my bag. With a couple of Brötchen (rolls) and a couple of pairs of “hunter sausage,” conveniently designed to hang on one's belt, I was good to go and fortified against hunger.

Mahlzeit!
Eat deliciously! ;-)

- continued -

Another guest essay on food shook loose memories of stopping to eat at our family's favorite hot oven grinder (sub sandwich) joint in Connecticut on our trips to Beantown to see the grandparents. One of our favorite rituals was breaking the trip with a pit stop south of Hartford.

Some years ago, my brother, sister, and I had a yen for grinders, and replicated them from memory. You can find the instructions here:

http://www.dramabeans.com/2018/05/dramas-and-food-fighting-the-pull-of-ppl-pizza/#comment-3241729

RIP, Sal. And thanks for the memories. ;-)

Enjoy! ;-)