Awesome! Congrats to all winners 🎊🎉🍻🥂

I haven't had time to check all of them out, been out of DB for most of this week.

Thank you once again @wishfultoki for organizing this. I never thought I would contribute a poem online since I've never written one in my life. I had fun trying to do them since APAD poem fever started.

Congratulations to the Winners!! ^^
Will there be another contest next week?
Also, thank you APAD for bringing out the inner poemies of all the beanies 🙂
All the entries were lovely ^^

*is super happy* ^^ Thanks for the votes, all! I'm happy my splling mistkaes brought some joy. And of course @wishfultoki, thanks for organising this - I may or may not be considering a career in poetry now. ^^ (jk)

Congratulations and *applause* to all the winners! :)

🍾🍾🍾 three cheers for all the poets, readers and their organizer! You guys are great.

This was so much fun! So many talented Beanies out there! Thanks honorable mention to @wishfultoki for her poem and putting this together! Here’s a trophy 🏆 for your efforts!

Congratulations to the winners!!!
And congratulations to Nam Woo's beloved wandering alligator for being the most popular!
And thank you again, @wishfultoki for organising this great event!!
Now, if you'll excuse me while I go order a round of drinks for everyone...

Congrats to all the winners! It was also awesome to see so many beanies participate. It would be awesome to do more stuff like this in the future. Special congrats to @greenfields for crafting a poem that reflects a large part of my DB life.

Man, I was so busy at work today I didn't have time to check the OT. Thanks for putting this together and throwing the island party. One of the best DB weekend ever!

Break up with him. Completely. I know it’s hard, but he’s looking for other girls AND he has you on the side. That’s not fair. And he’s trash for it.

You need to do the obvious one which is the hardest but it will make other things after that look easy.

Cut the connection completely, online and offline.

I used lots of way because I was so determine to move on since my ex get engaged immediately after we broke up. People can gave you many ways to move on but if you refused to accept it's over, others can't help you. You need to train your brain that you can get over this.

You’re not crazy. It’s hard when you think you found the one, especially when they use you for companionship (and more) even after the rejection.

My advice? Delete all his text messages on every platform, and when you start thinking about him, force yourself to focus on something else (news, books, dramas...) and train your mind not to go down that track anymore. It will take a while, but one day you will realize you don’t think about him anymore, and that will be such a great feeling to carry you forward (at least it has been in my experience🙂). Because you deserve more than to be a side girl.

Fighting! Oh, and have a day where you turn off your phone and just binge watch a whole drama, preferably one where jerks get their comeuppance, or the stakes are so epic it takes your mind off everything.

Awww, florance 💐 I'm sorry. Please don't feel worthless, you've just been through a (sadly) necessary learning experience and experienced love, including for his Mom. He's a cad but, like all kdrama heroines, you were going to have at least one of those in the story of your life, right? Sorry to say, maybe more than one! If this happened to your favorite kdrama girl, or your best friend or sister, what would you want her to do to help herself? Start doing that for yourself.

Not bonkers. But yeah... what everyone else said. It will hurt, but you have to start the process. You can do it!

Thank you all for advice. It´s really hard for me because I really loved him and he gave me this feeling that this could be endgame but obviously it wasn´t. I deleted all his messages yesterday, even his number. But I feel empty...I hope it gets better.

Right now, I´m enjoying My Ahjussi very much since it´s so realistic and love is not always rosy and love could be unrequited and still be beautiful. But yeah....Pretty Noona who buys food is a little hard to watch for me.

@florance, I feel for you (I’ve been there!) and I understand how letting go is hard.

As @chahaya noted, your brain needs training. Healing takes time but there are things you can actively do to at least get your brain processing the breakup more quickly.

Would you be willing to try this Design Thinking exercise? It requires a bit of a "data dump” but it gets to the heart of “user needs.”

ROUND 1
On paper or Post-its, write down all the pain points you had in this relationship—note ALL of his negative qualities and how he failed you. Data can include:
-How often did he call you/vs when you called/texted?
-Time you spent together getting closer vs. shagging.
-How did your friendship circles connect?
-Quality of the sex, kissing, skinship, affection
-How did he support you generally? Did you talk about hopes and dreams? Problems at work or with family?
-Anything and everything, from the smell of his farts to his stupid laugh

ROUND 2
Then, on different colored Post-its (or marker if you’re writing on paper), write down the following:
-What makes you feel loved and valued?
-What qualities you’re looking for in a partner
-What qualities do you look for in a relationship?

ROUND 3
How do your desires mesh/conflict with the themed pain points you identified in Round 1? Stick your Round 2 Post-its next to the themed problem areas from Round 1

ROUND 4
Pull it all together with user statements for each theme. It’ll be something like,
What you desire
How he fails to measure up

What you desire
How he fails to measure up

What you desire
How he fails to measure up

etc.

—————

Heartbreak is normal and the pain will pass. This romance—as unequal as it was—will help you know yourself better and clarify your needs. I send my best wishes to you!

Learn to love yourself better. Friends with benefits sucks. It´s also inmoral. It is a sin. Don´t do that.

@florance
So sorry to read this. You have been given all good advice from everyone so I won't add anything but this. The fact that he is a jerk is NOT YOUR PROBLEM and really has nothing to do with you.
Really it doesn't mean that you are worth less, or not worthy - but he is lacking in some way that he can't commit to whatever.
Hang in there, take time for yourself and be good to yourself because you deserve it.
period. Sending you much love/encouragement/strength/hugs and all sorts of good things...

remember whose problem this is - and it ain't yours.

*hug* Like what everyone said, what you are going through is really hard. A very good friend of mine just went through a nasty divorce and there were even several times that she thought about getting back with the psycho. Luckily, she had us and her family to run to for advice, comfort and reassurance. My friend kept busy during this time and spent her time working to keep her mind off things. She used work as a distraction. When she's feeling sad, she made sure that she either had her parents or close friends to talk to. Chin up and I wish you all the best.

There's unfortunately only one known cure for a heartbreak and that's time. Time away from him if that's possible (I don't know your situation, maybe you work or study together). This sadness will pass.

You know that when you posted this here, nobody was going to tell you that being friends-with-benefits and feeling worthless and depressed was a good thing. So I think that maybe you put this up here for us give you some virtual hugs and courage?

So here it is: you've got this. You can do this. You can move on from him by not seeing him anymore. Do other stuff. Meet up with your friends. The busier you are (with fun stuff if possible) the easier it is not to think about him.

But having a good cry every now and then is healing too. Put on a sad movie or drama and just pretend that this is what you're crying about. Sing along loudly to all the break-up songs.

And then move on.

Trust me, it will get better.

Fighting!

I applaud your bravery in writing for help and advice.
Remember that this is not the sum of who you are. You are a gift and a treasure.
I'm so sorry that you were mistreated and used in this way.
I don't have much more to say after all the good advice fellow Beanies have written...
Fighting!!

Great advice from everyone here. Mine is, you say 'I'm bonkers', but are you accepting you actually might be? There is nothing unusual about your situation, lots of women have gone through it, but at root of it is a fear of abandonment. Chances are you knew before he did the relationship wasn't going anywhere but didn't know how to end it, or even want to end it, because it's the security of the relationship that's most important to you, not the man in it. And maybe that's what was missing for him too - could you really be loving and appreciating him when he treated you poorly, or was being in a romantic relationship the high point.

Just putting myself in his shoes not yours for a moment: when people feel needy or desperate or clingy they do things like provide friends with benefits and send gifts to mothers of a man who has made it clear he's done romantically. All you're doing for him is proving his point that something was missing.

For all of us, due to absent or distant dad's or other reasons, more than 50% of us suffer a fear of abandonment. This can play havoc with your dating life so hie yourself down to a counsellor.

Lastly, if you truly believe you do love the real him, not an idealized him or the relationship itself, you could have it out with him. Tell him you feel like a fool, he's been an ass, you haven't been real together, and you can see how your neediness came across as not about him, but you do truly love him and the only way to prove that is by cutting him out of your life unless he wants to try again for a real relationship.Chances are he'll say no. But months later when you're over him, you can congratulate yourself on giving it your best to the end - not with 'benefits but with truth, love and honesty. There's a dignity in that we can all respect.

If you mean good English subs because of Netflix, it’s dependent on the subber they have. The few eps I saw with one of the Netflix people, were good. That drama lucked out.

Have you tried My Ahjussi?

Though I know with a book slump recs don't always help because I'm just not reading.

So, yeah, drama slump. I am in one as well. I partially blame Netflix, since any show that they grab will not be available leagally in the US till it’s finished airing in Korea. I understand that this is their across the board distribution model in the US but why make episodes available for other countries not long after airing?

So, right now the only two Korean shows I am watching are weekend ones - My Husband Mr. Oh and The Good Witch. And I even skipped The Good Witch last weekend because the Soompi board was all about the plot stalling and the heroine still deceiving the hero into thinking her sister is the woman he loves.

Otherwise, I’m watching the TW Drama Meet Me @ 1006, just not loving it as much as I did in the beginning. Possibly because of the reporter heroine and the male second lead (the prosecutor) being naive and basically as dumb as bricks, especially about things they should be alert to, considering their jobs. And even the male lead not asking himself the obvious question about the heroine’s current whereabouts. The show still has an interesting concept, and I’ll keep watching.

I dropped A Poem a Day because “who’s the male half of the OTP?” Is one of my least favorite KDrama Tropes. I may pick it up again after it finishes airing, because I really didn’t have a strong preference. I just hate feeling manipulated by the writers.

Yes, and I'm really tired of being in this slump. Just to see something I finally watched Hello Monster, which I had to see on an iPad because Viki still doesn't have the US rights for Roku. My Ajusshi sounds great but my mood isn't right for something that bleak. I'll watch Something in the Rain with you at the end of the month!

It seems like all the new shows I want to watch are on some kind of lockup and not available on any site in the US. Even a couple that Kocowa is supposed to have rights to don't seem to exist.

We are different, not wrong. I won't comment any further.
Sending you lot of waffles :) , Ha Seok Jin is in charge of the finger hearts AND dance ;) hahaha.
Hoping real life will get better :) .

*hugs* sorry for your terrible week IRL. Hope it picks up soon!

Hoping things are much better next week! :)

Hope next week picks up irl ;)

And I agree, at least we're all in this craziness together or else I really end up being crazy irl >.<

Sends you love and waffles. Your next week will be better- always a silver lining in sight. 😊

Sorry for your bad IRL week @cloggie. :( Hugs, waffles, and all good things headed your way and I hope next week will be infinitely better.

Grand Prince: if you made it to episode 14, you are in luck. It gets better and better... I can't help but have high expectations for the finale this weekend. Basically (no spoilers), Hwi has finally realised what he needs to do and the showdown between the brothers is on.

typo
*I'M very neutral about APAD.

I dropped That Man, Oh Soo too and I only watch 1 episode of Grand Prince.

I'm watching Switch rn, the cons are still alive and they haven't caught Grizzly. JGS is doing a great job playing two characters or maybe three --- Sa Do Chan, Baek Joon Soo then Sa Do Chan as Baek Joon Soo.

That Man Oh Soo - Usual k-drama crappy ending (but then the drama itself was never above average). We get some of the usual k-drama tropes, including self induced amnesia (H drinks potion to forget h as the tree curse will cause her to die if he loves her) and a time jump. After the time jump H and h meet and we the audience are left to wonder: did he get his memory back (I don't know and I don't care) and will the curse reactivate and kill the h (I don't know and don't care). So in the end an open ending.

...staring at the camera, shoot, those eyes, wait, I need to stop, this is wrong…next post.*

10 minutes later, Me: *That was a great video his dad posted of his six years of soccer. I need to show the daughter was a jock he is…wait, this is wrong…I won’t say anything.*

Later that day, Me after picking up the kids: How was your day?

Daughter: *Says something about school and friends, and all I can think about is what math genius did today.*

Me: I saw a cool video about math genius that his dad posted; he’s a pretty good soccer player, did you know?

Daughter: *Silence*

Moral of the Story: I really need to stop talking about math genius now, and really just set up a study/play date for them which his dad has given his blessing over.

2nd moral: I really have too much to do rather than set up k-drama plots for my daughter.

3rd moral: So a busy weekend for us! Hope you have fun things filled in your weekend!

...saving the widowed wife of his now deceased comrade from the war. During his hunt of gold, he finds hints of a hidden stash of gold by corrupt criminals. Partnering with an Ainu girl that saves his life from the harsh climates of the north, they venture into a survival adventure to race against the criminals that seek the hidden stash. (MyDramaList).

My Brief Take: Such a weird drama. There are some serious moments. There are some cute moments. There are some dark moments. There are some funny moments. I'm really liking the story thus far though and the odd pairing of the two leads. The premise is also quite different.

You can check out the trailer here.

I love the idea of an Anime Corner. ^^; I was massively into them during my uni years, but haven't watched any for about two years now. I'll comment if I see one I've watched. :)

do you follow a blog called Random Curiosity, by any chance, @hades ?

So far I'm enjoying Hinamatsuri, it's unique and hilarious. About Golden Kamuy, I only watched 1st episode, it's entertaining but also heavy, I might need more time to continue.

Another anime I'm following this season is Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori, very relaxing and slice of life anime is my favourite. The cafe is so comfy and homey, the foods and drinks and desserts look so good (despite in anime), there's a cute fat cat and the owner of the restaurant is crazy cat guy, I'm in! XD

Also following Amanchu S2 and Hoozuki no Reitetsu S2 2nd Arc. Both seems to slow down in terms of plot but still fun.

As an avid book reader that is the precise feeling I have right now. Wednesday is soooooo far away!

Haha, last week I wrote that I wasn't gonna complain about them taking a week off because had I read that they were super exhausted (partly because My Ajusshi has a lot more scenes shot at night than most dramas). But then I had a stressful week and forgot about them taking a break, and I was SO disappointed when I didn't get my fix on Weds. I survived though, and I am glad that they're taking care of themselves. They're obviously giving this drama their all- I'm blown away by the quality of it.

My kids wore all their Star Wars gear today! And Happy Cinco de Mayo tomorrow!

How could I forget?
Being on Team Reylo and all with 😂 @hotcocoa girl
May the 4th be with you... always.

May the Fourth be with you as well! I'm wearing my hair up in cinnamon buns, with a Darth Vader shirt, R2-D2 socks, and and R2-D2 tutu. 😂 #thethingsIfindatthriftstores

I was at the Disney's main office at Glendale today and they had a star wars events in the middle of the campus during lunch.
It was fun to see die hard fans dressing up to work and having a blast.

Glad to see you are still watching Switch! I’m not, but will whenever the poetry madness subsides!

@korfan,

Re: Soon-jin's ex in SHOULD WE KISS FIRST, he drove me batty. Not only did he slap Soon-jin, but he's punched Mu-han more than once. But considering how quick Homewrecker wife #2 was to beat him up early in the show, I can't help but wonder if he became a pugilist by osmosis. They are one of the most unpleasant Kdrama couples I've encountered to date.

Like you, I did not watch the original American production of SUITS. I'm enjoying the Korean remake so far. At times, boss lady reminds me of Shirley Schmidt of BOSTON LEGAL. ;-)