[Villains] The perfect villain casserole
by Guest Beanie
Come Here and Hug Me
My addiction for K-dramas and cooking shows has given me an unofficial badge of expertise in the K-drama recipe field. Through extensive research and many tries, I have cracked the secret formula to making the perfect Villain Casserole. While the ingredients are very specific, there is room for change in the ratios presented in this recipe. I encourage you to try the recipe or change a few ratios in it—at your own risk.
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 45 minutes
Servings: 16 (or 32 half servings)
1 black baseball cap
3 teaspoons of troubled, evil smiles
½ cup of anger
1 cup of pride
2 teaspoons of ambition
3 tablespoons of unequivocally tragic, unfair backstory
Generous amounts of good looking sprinkles (Note: very expensive and rare)
A pinch of regret
1 ounce of weakness
1 tablespoon of nonchalance
1 cup of selfishness
A sprinkle of pettiness
1 black face mask
A signature weapon (for example, a hammer)
- Preheat oven to 350°F (or 175°C). Spray 9 x 9 inch pan with cooking spray. The brand I prefer best is Thick Skin©. Villains can be sticky and annoying. Having this brand of cooking spray helps me later during the cleaning phase as even the toughest of casseroles wash right off when you pre-spray.
- In a big black bowl, beat at medium speed the tragic backstory, pride, ambition, and anger. When there are no more distinct pieces, sprinkle in pettiness to add a bit of spice. Let it sit until the mixture becomes relatable. Make sure the room is dark for optimal evil brewing. When the villain’s intention and point of view is palpable in the air, the wet mixture is ready.
My Fellow Citizens
Tip: Sometimes, it helps to leave music in the background when the mixture is rising. This helps the emotions form easier.
- In another bowl, softly sift the black cap and optional black mask. To make your villain less generic, other flavours of costumes are allowed. Like black pin stripe suits, long double breasted overcoats, and note-worthy haircuts. Please note that badly styled villains do not exist. If your style ingredients are not chosen correctly, you risk ruining your villain casserole and may end up with a lame misunderstood nuisance casserole, and no one wants to eat that twice a week.
- I like to add a defining point to all my villain casseroles. If my villain casserole is a murderer, add something original to the mixture like a hammer or poison. Nonchalance is a welcome addition to any casserole that aims for earthy realness. These additions should be folded into the dry mixture slowly. Don’t stir it in too much or your villain casserole might end up being annoying instead of enticing.
Tip: Avoid adding bigotry into your mixture. Such villain casseroles are usually bland and nausea-inducing. It is a very hard ingredient to swallow.
- Mix together the content of both bowls. If you find your mixture to be too dry, add some humor and PPL (quantities at your discretion). This adds a pleasant cheesiness to your casserole without actually adding cheese. Your casserole will not only taste better, but you’ll find yourself enjoying it and looking forward to the leftovers.
An Empress’s Dignity
- Sprinkle regret on top of the final product. Your palate is complex and so should be your casserole.
- Bake in a PPL oven for 45 minutes. When despair fills the air and the top is golden, your casserole should be ready.
- Depending on your ratios, your final villain should look something like this:
Come Here and Hug Me
Tags: Theme of the Month