I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day: Episode 8
Today we delve a bit more into our lead’s background and how his past may play into the present. This isn’t the first time he’s pulled this disappearing act, and it takes a toll on his relationships. When those around him are hurt by his actions, he has to decide what’s important to him and how honest he’s willing to be.
EPISODE 8: “The Place Where Suspicions Become Reality”
We rewind to before Eun-seob disappears. He chases the vision of the woman into the woods, pleading “Mom, don’t go.” The woman smiles and beckons him, so he staggers after her and begs her not to leave. He trips and takes a nasty tumble down a hill.
That night, Hae-won searches through the woods, calling out for Eun-seob who is still lying unconscious nearby. We flash back to when Eun-seob was little. In school, his teacher had commented that it looked like he had a happy family judging from his drawing. Little Eun-seob got upset and immediately drew over his picture.
In the present, he stirs awake after hearing Hae-won call his name. He struggles to raise himself up to a sitting position and has to rest. Eun-seob manages to stand and slowly walk back up to the trail.
He makes his way to the cabin, looking worse for wear. After taking a breather, he gets up and is startled to see Hae-won come around the corner. She runs over and starts asking where he was and if he’s okay. Eun-seob stops her when she goes to take off her coat to give to him. “I’m not cold.”
Hae-won looks carefully at his face and realizes something is wrong. She rests her hand on the side of his face and wonders if something happened. He stares at her for a moment before gently taking her hand away. They stare silently at each other as snow begins to fall.
Inside the cabin, Hae-won says she thought he was there earlier because the lights were on. Eun-seob explains he always leaves them on so people who get lost have somewhere to stay. Hae-won asks if he’s hurt and is surprised to hear he fell.
Instead of answering her when she asks if he’s okay, he asks why she came. She tells him everyone’s worried since he’s been gone so long. He notes that it’s late, but she reassures him she brought a flashlight this time. And it took 30 minutes to get to the cabin, just like she was told it would. Hae-won proudly states she didn’t fall once.
Eun-seob reminds her, somewhat harshly, that he told her not to come. She says it wasn’t so bad, especially with the shoes he bought her. He cuts her off, claiming he didn’t buy them so she could come here. Someone is not in a good mood.
He reiterates that she should never come here, even if he’s sick or leaves and doesn’t come back. Hae-won sits silently, her eyes brimming with tears. He brings her a cup of hot water and goes back outside while Hae-won fights her tears.
As Eun-seob leads the way back, Hwi narrates a story about a brother and sister who journeyed to find a bluebird that was said to grant happiness. Hae-won slips and almost falls, but Eun-seob makes no move to help her. Hwi continues that the siblings finally made it to the village where the bluebird supposedly lived, but the bird wasn’t there.
For the first time, Eun-seob doesn’t walk Hae-won to her house once they reach the street. He enters the bookshop as Hwi finishes that the siblings had to go home without finding the happiness-granting bluebird. Eun-seob looks miserable as he sits alone in the dark.
Myung-yeo is surprised when Hae-won comes in so late, but Hae-won forestalls any conversation. Myung-yeo looks after her concernedly as Hae-won heads to her room.
The following morning, Hae-won doesn’t look so great herself but goes to the bookshop anyway. She pauses in front of the door, remembering Eun-seob’s curt attitude the previous night. Eun-seob comes out before she can go in. They stand there awkwardly.
Eun-seob, in a seemingly less hostile mood, starts to give her instructions for the delivery person. She cuts him short with an “I know,” and goes inside. He stands outside the door looking chastened.
Hae-won isn’t the only one Eun-seob upset. His mom gives him the silent treatment when he drives her to the market. He follows behind her as she gets a tonic for Hwi to the shopkeeper’s surprise. Yeo-jung loses her temper at the woman when she wonders why Yeo-jung is suddenly interested in buying something for Hwi and not just Eun-seob.
Eun-seob stops Yeo-jung outside and asks if she’s really angry. His mom turns around and berates him for going “there” when she told him not to, especially when he’s sick. Why does he keep going there? He says that mountain isn’t anything special which makes her angrier. Eun-seob apologizes when she turns away to hide her tears.
Yeo-jung stops in her tracks when Eun-seob reveals, “I saw that woman.” He explains that he hallucinated her and followed her into the mountains. Devastated, his mom cries as she says again how dangerous it is. Eun-seob promises not to go there again without her permission.
Over at the bookshop, Hae-won has definitely caught Eun-seob’s cold. She coughs and warps herself in a blanket while she reads “Bluebird” (which, I believe, is an adaption of the play “The Blue Bird” by Maurice Maeterlink). But she can’t get Eun-seob’s words at the cabin out of her head.
Seung-ho comes in for some porridge, and Myung-yeo pops by shortly after. She’s headed to Seoul and won’t be back until the next day. She leaves after a bit of nagging and heads to Soo-jung’s to drop off Gunbam. Yeah, I don’t think I’d leave him with Hae-won either after her tirade, ha.
Myung-yeo tells Soo-jung it looks like she might be writing another novel soon since she spent all that money on repairs and doesn’t get much from royalties anymore. Soo-jung gets excited, but Myung-yeo warns her not to get her hopes up yet.
Hae-won is still coughing and sneezing her way around the bookshop when Jang-woo stops by. He drops off some stuff Eun-seob asked for and gives her Yeong-woo’s business card. Yeong-woo asked him to give it to her and tell her to stop by his café when she’s next in Seoul.
Jang-woo notices Hae-won isn’t well. “Catching a cold lately is no joke. You should go to the hospital.” (Pandemic PSA?) Someone calls him out, so Jang-woo leaves with more insisting that she should go to the doctor and take some medicine.
While Myung-yeo reads “The Wind Blows, I Like You: A Travel Essay” by Lee Byung-ryul on the train, we flash back to her younger years when she and Eun-taek had broken up. He’d followed her on the train she was taking and sat there crying as she told him to get lost. His sobs that he loved her and couldn’t live without her fell on unsympathetic ears.
Hae-won is asleep with her head on the table when Eun-seob gets back that evening. When he realizes she’s sick, he calls home and tells Hwi to bring over cold medicine. Hwi reminds him the book club is in an hour, so she’ll bring it then. He tells her not to forget to bring it and hangs up on her.
Hwi is still holding the phone to her ear when her dad walks in. She rants that Eun-seob just told her to run an errand for him in a very rude tone. Ha. Her dad couldn’t be less concerned, but Hwi is shook.
Hae-won wakes right before everyone arrives for the book club. Jang-woo asks if she went to the doctor, while Hwi hands over the meds to Eun-seob who she threatens better never make her run errands again. It’s giving me anxiety that Hae-won is coughing like that and not self-isolating.
Soo-jung starts the meeting off with an interesting article she read about an 80-year-old man who decided to travel. He followed an old travel guide to get to a city in Bavaria but ended up lost in a forest. It took him two days to find his way out, after which he flew back home. Wondering what was wrong with his travel guide, a friend pointed out that it was written right before WWI, and the city no longer existed.
Everyone but Soo-jung thinks it’s a sad story. She finds it impressive and beautiful that he made a difficult journey for the sake of his happiness. Soo-jung also dreams of traveling to far-off places.
Hwi notes that the man’s story sounds like “Bluebird.” Both stories feature people traveling to find something but returning without having found it. Seung-ho pities the siblings in “Bluebird,” but Hwi assures him they find happiness when they return home, so it’s a happy ending.
Hyun-ji doesn’t think it makes sense to not know happiness was always there with you. Hwi thinks it makes perfect sense; it’s just like how Yeong-soo doesn’t realize what a gem she is. Pfft. Either way, Hyun-ji doesn’t like the story.
Hae-won chimes in that she agrees with Hyun-ji. She thinks it’s just a comforting excuse since happiness is difficult to attain and, in her opinion, out of reach. Eun-seob looks affected by her words. Hwi gets upset since it seems like Hae-won is contradicting her argument that she’s a gem. Hae-won can’t respond due to a little coughing fit.
In Seoul, Myung-yeo stands outside a massive house and sees a man and woman leaving. She hides around the corner as they laugh and flirt before going out for drinks. Based on how they address each other, she’s a writer, and he’s her editor.
After the book club members leave, Eun-seob tries to give Hae-won the medicine, but she refuses it. He catches up to her after she walks out and makes another attempt. She’s adamant she won’t take it and gets annoyed when he pushes.
She notes that he’s doing just fine after not taking anything. Touché. She’ll get better after a good night’s rest. He pleads with her to just take the medicine.
“Then what will you do in return?” He asks what she wants him to do. “For example, you could respond to my confession.” He goes quiet at that. She wants to hear it, so could he do that for her? At home, she cries as we hear his response: “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
The following morning, Eun-seob thinks of Hae-won’s confession and all the times he’s watched her without approaching. He also recalls the previous night. After he gave his response, Hae-won had silently taken the medicine out of his hand and walked away while Eun-seob stood with his head bowed.
Hwi runs through the house, panicking because she can’t find the novel she’s supposed to bring to school. Her dad reminds her she gave it to Eun-seob so he could read it and give her a synopsis. Jong-pil calls Eun-seob who apparently left it in the mountains. Yeo-jung overhears them considering asking Eun-seob to go get it and forbids it.
Yeo-jung even goes to the bookshop to make sure Eun-seob doesn’t go. She reminds him of his promise and won’t let him go alone. Hae-won walks in while they’re arguing, and Yeo-jung rushes over to ask if she’s free. Alarmed, Eun-seob pulls his mom aside and tells her to keep this between them.
Later, Eun-seob tells Hae-won not to worry about it. He’ll go alone and tell his mom they went together. Guess she involved Hae-won after all. Hae-won isn’t comfortable outright lying like that, so she says she’ll go with him. It’s not a big deal. Eun-seob’s face suggests otherwise, but he doesn’t stop her.
It’s a tense trip and mostly silent until Hae-won spots something that looks like a grave. Eun-seob says it’s “where suspicions become reality.” If you suspect something will happen while standing there, it will likely come true.
He recalls in high school being worried his dad would get hurt using his cultivator, and he did. But good things can also happen. We see Eun-seob smile in flashback as Hae-won is assigned the seat next to him in class.
In the present, Hae-won comments she’s never seen a wooden headstone like that. She notes the birth and death dates are listed as unknown. Eun-seob watches her as she gingerly picks dead leaves off the top.
He warns her not to suspect anything since it might come true. She follows after him, and they make it to the cabin. Hae-won waits outside while Eun-seob retrieves the backpack with Hwi’s book. She tells him to go back first—she wants to go to the summit. Eun-seob watches her leave in her non-hiking sneakers.
Hae-won makes it to a stream and carefully steps on rocks to cross. Eun-seob shows up and warns her it’s slippery. He walks ahead of her and offers his hand. After deliberating, she takes it, and he helps her across.
Eun-seob leads her the rest of the way to the summit. Hae-won takes in the gorgeous view from the peak and wonders at it only being an hour-long hike away. (Side note: The lighting in this scene is lovely.) She confesses she has a hard time meeting Eun-seob’s eyes now. It’s hard for her to accept he doesn’t like her.
He looks tormented as she bares her soul and even apologizes to him. Hae-won remembers all the kindness he’s shown her. His warmth toward her made her suspect he had feelings for her, she admits with tears in her eyes.
She turns to face him with a forced smile and vows not to suspect anymore—he told her not to. Hae-won starts to say something else but changes her mind. She says they should go and starts back toward the trail, but Eun-seob grabs her sleeve and pulls her back. Without a word, he leans in and kisses her.
We flash back to Myung-yeo — so that’s what she looks like without sunglasses — telling a little Hae-won, “The bluebird exists.” Hae-won had accused her aunt of lying, but Myung-yeo insisted the bird is real if rare. It appears “like a miracle.”
Back in the present, as she and Eun-seob stare at each other, Hae-won thinks, “What now? My suspicion became reality.” Myung-yeo tells Little Hae-won a miracle is when something you thought could never happen becomes reality. Little Hae-won asks who makes it happen to which Myung-yeo replies the bluebird. As Eun-seob and Hae-won kiss again, we see two birds fly over the water.
Eun-seob’s Blog Post
There are things you can see more clearly when you’re alone. And it’s not so bad to learn from loneliness. The less you expect, the calmer your days are. It’s painful to genuinely want something. But I’m not without desires. I kissed Irene in the mountains. I almost fainted. I can’t joke about it anymore, which means it’s serious. She now lives behind my eyes.
We finally get an honest reaction from Eun-seob! But talk about your mixed signals. Everything he does betrays his feelings for her, but he outright rejected her. I love how Hae-won demanded some response, though. She would accept whatever he said, but he had to say something. It’s nice to have a female lead who isn’t afraid to stand up for what she feels is owed her. She respects herself and requires others to do the same. Unlike Eun-seob who usually has his head bowed and eyes downcast, Hae-won holds her head high and looks people in the eye.
Hae-won is interesting in that she’s closed off until she isn’t. She often buries things inside, but she’s unflinchingly honest when she decides to reveal her thoughts and feelings. We saw that with her mom and now with Eun-seob. Hae-won may not always share what’s going on internally, but she is willing to be vulnerable when she feels ready to share. Eun-seob, on the other hand, has trouble being vulnerable under any circumstance. For instance, when Hae-won found him at the cabin, I think his anger was not only based on her putting herself at risk but her catching him in such a vulnerable state.
Although I’m glad he isn’t hiding his feelings now, I do very much worry that Eun-seob is not in the right emotional space for a relationship. He needs to work out some of his own issues before he can handle having a partner. In particular, his tendency for skipping out and hiding—both emotionally and physically—when he gets overwhelmed is concerning. Hae-won has already been traumatized by familial instability and abandonment, so the last thing she needs is for Eun-seob to wall himself off or leave when things get tough. He’d better be ready to be truly present in the relationship if he decides to be with her. So far, she’s done all the work which doesn’t bode well for the balance of the relationship. They have the potential to be a strong couple, but they have a lot of work to do first. The emotional baggage they each bring to the relationship is bound to rear its head, and they’ll need to be equally willing to deal with their respective issues as they come. We’re only at the halfway point, so I hope we continue taking our time to build their relationship piece by piece. This isn’t a relationship that should be rushed.
Thankfully, we got more information on Eun-seob’s past this episode. As we all suspected, he did have another family in his early years. It’s interesting that when he was talking to Yeo-jung (who he usually calls the more formal “mother”), he called his other mom “that woman,” but he called her “mom” when he was following her through the woods. I’m not sure if that’s because he doesn’t want to hurt Yeo-jung’s feelings or if he has bad associations with his other mom. We still know nothing about the circumstances surrounding losing his former family, so I guess we’ll have to wait on that.
While I’m on the topic of his family, I did want to mention that Yeo-jung’s blatant favoritism has left a bad taste in my mouth. I understand why she’s that way seeing as Eun-seob has experienced trauma and is so withdrawn. I’m sure she wants him to feel loved and to ease his suffering, but it’s very unfair to Hwi. Just because she’s strong and well-adjusted doesn’t mean it’s okay to put her on the backburner. She deserves the same amount of attention from her mom. I do wonder if Hwi is aware of her brother’s situation. I imagine she wouldn’t have any memories from before he was with them. Was she even born yet? They don’t seem to directly talk about his past—even his conversation with Yeo-jung about “that woman” was veiled, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they haven’t told Hwi anything.
I missed the book club last episode, so I’m glad it was back in session. That remains one of my favorite things in this show, especially with how they use it to explore the primary theme of the episode like this hour’s topic of attaining happiness. I love that the group provides a space for everyone to share their thoughts without judgment. They listen and support each other whether they agree or not. Warmth is a recurrent theme in this drama, and it’s certainly exemplified through this lovely little book club.
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