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It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Episode 3

After years of being away from home, our writer returns to retrieve the man who slipped through her fingers. And while she has no problem confronting him, it’s an entirely different story with the ghosts of her past. It’s a tough time for both leads, as they realize that their fears may be eating them up more than they thought.

 
EPISODE 3: “Sleeping witch”

Moon-young reunites with Kang-tae at OK Hospital, telling him she came because she missed him. On the staircase behind them, Joo-ri sees them together and gets a worried look on her face.

The couple go outside to talk, and Moon-young stands a little too close for Kang-tae’s comfort. “I’m just amazed,” she says. “You grew up well.” He asks if she knows him, and she simply says she’d like to get to know him better. Unamused, he then asks what she wants, knowing she’ll only leave once she gets it.

She smiles and answers that she wants him. He’s pretty and when she sees something pretty, like shoes or clothes, she needs to have it. She’ll do anything, whether she has to pay, steal, or take it by force. Before Kang-tae can respond (not that he could, after a line like that), Nurse Park calls Moon-young inside.

Moon-young meets with the hospital’s director OH JI-WANG (Kim Chang-wan), who wants to catch her up on her father’s condition. Director Oh is very much a straight shooter, saying that mental disorders accompanied by brain tumors are much harder to treat and that her father’s symptoms are particularly bad. Nurse Park tries to sugarcoat his words, but it’s unnecessary since Moon-young shows zero concern.

Director Oh brings up the hospital’s therapy program, which consists of many different classes — all except for literature. He was hoping Moon-young would come teach twice a week, maybe even spend time with her father. In the patients’ room, as Kang-tae is putting Go Dae-hwan to bed, another patient mentions that Dae-hwan’s pretty daughter arrived. Kang-tae takes in this information, as well as the scars on Dae-hwan’s hands.

Later, Kang-tae is changing in the locker room when Moon-young barges in all smiles and all eyes on his abs. Kang-tae pushes Moon-young out of the room, which is when Joo-ri passes by and sees them together yet again.

Once the girls are alone, Joo-ri asks what kind of relationship Moon-young has with Kang-tae. “That’s something I never understood,” Moon-young says. “How can you define a relationship in just one word?” It’s a relationship that’s been very close to death, that’s led them to surprise each other, but it’d be cliche to call all of this destiny.

By the time Kang-tae comes out, through with his shift, Moon-young is waiting for him in her car. She badgers him to get in so they can have dinner together, and irritated, he says that she won’t get through to him that easy. That’s fine with her; she says him playing hard to get will be more fun. But for now, she decides to leave him alone.

Night falls, and we see Moon-young driving down a winding path. She glances up at her rearview mirror, startled when she sees a woman in the backseat. But when she looks back, there’s no one there. She’s spooked once again when she nearly hits a deer, and she uh… has a screaming match with it to make it go away. Pfft.

Kang-tae and Joo-ri run into each other in their neighborhood, and on their walk home, Joo-ri mentions that she thought he’d be eating dinner with Moon-young. Kang-tae assures her that they’re not that close and that he’d rather spend his only mealtime outside of work with his brother.

Meanwhile, Moon-young finally makes it to her destination — the now dark, decrepit mansion that she once lived in. We hear Sang-in narrate, as he’s talking to Seung-jae in his office, that Moon-young’s father built the mansion to celebrate her birth, and in the middle of the forest so her mother could write.

Moon-young enters the mansion, and it almost seems to breathe back into life. She finds her old bedroom and plops onto her covered bed, muttering that she’s starving. Transition to Kang-tae, Sang-tae, Jae-soo, Joo-ri, and Joo-ri’s mom (Kim Mi-kyung) eating samgyupsal on the roof of their apartment building.

Joo-ri’s mom is beaming, happy to have three young men in her building who provide rent. She looks especially happy to have Kang-tae, giving him extra rice. Hm, guess Mama’s picked herself a son-in-law.

Back at the mansion, Moon-young is freezing in bed, and just behind her, we see that someone (or something) wrote “Welcome” on the window. A voice narrates the story of Sleeping Beauty, a princess cursed to sleep for many years. And as the voice continues, watery footprints lead up the staircase, towards Moon-young’s room.

Moon-young jerks awake and finds herself staring at a floating figure right above her. “This fairy tale,” the woman says, “tells you that you can never escape your destiny.” Moon-young is frozen in place, tears pricking her eyes, as the woman comes closer and closer, soon lying right next to her.

“The prince’s kiss.” The woman caresses Moon-young’s face. “I suppose he could break the curse. But don’t get your hopes too high. Because I’m going to kill that prince.” Moon-young then sees her younger self, staring into a lake, as that same woman sinks and begs for her to save her.

Moon-young jerks awake for real this time, shaken by her dream. She starts to sob when she hears a different voice behind her — Kang-tae. She imagines him cupping her face and telling her not to cry, making her smile. But in reality, we see that she’s calming herself down by doing the Butterfly Hug Method alone.

The next morning, Sang-in calls Moon-young to figure out some kind of game plan against her scandal. Moon-young tells him to use her father as an excuse, to say that she had to retire in order to care for him. And Sang-in is right on board, thinking this will make her fans want her to come back.

At OK Hospital, a new VIP patient is checked in (cameo by, eeee, Kwak Dong-yeon!). Kwon Gi-do is the son of an assemblyman, and he seems to be quite friendly with Director Oh and Nurse Park already. Apparently, he has manic syndrome, and he comes every spring due to his episodes.

Soon, Gi-do is stripping down in his room, showing off to the camera, and good lord, the bar covering him up. He gets well-acquainted with Kang-tae, revealing what got him in trouble this time — spending 20 million won at a nightclub and running off into the street, yes, naked. And we see the whole ordeal in hilarious detail.

Jae-soo gets his new restaurant, a pizza place, set up, where he also has Sang-tae drawing caricatures for customers. Sang-tae is worried Kang-tae will be mad, as they’re lying to him about Sang-tae going to school. But Jae-soo reminds him that he needs the money.

Moon-young holds her first literature class at OK, with Kang-tae and another caregiver keeping watch. She asks the patients what a fairy tale is, dismissing a man who answers “me marrying IU” (haha). Serious, she says that it’s, “A cruel fantasy that illustrates the brutality and violence of this world in a paradoxical manner.”

Moreover, a fairy tale isn’t something that gives people hopes and dreams, but a stimulant that makes them face reality. Once they wake up from their dreams and see life for what it is, they’ll be happy. Moon-young smirks at Kang-tae, who watches her incredulously.

In the break room, Joo-ri learns from Nurse Park that Moon-young is here to stay. Nurse Park could tell Moon-young couldn’t care less about her father, so she assumes Director Oh was right in thinking she’s only here because she wants something.

Cut to Moon-young looking at said something, Kang-tae. It’s after class, and Kang-tae is asking her if she really believes in what she said about fairy tales. She does, and she thinks that he needs to accept that he’s not satisfied; she can see desire in his eyes.

As Kang-tae walks off, Moon-young notes that he’s being cold when he was so warm to her last night. He turns back to ask what she’s talking about, and she explains that she dreamt of him holding her. She hilariously reenacts it and admits that she’s horny.

They’re in the main lobby, so Kang-tae tells her to lower her voice. But then she loudly asks, “Want to sleep with me?” He pushes her out of there as fast as he can — it’s almost a reflex now — but everyone’s already heard.

Now alone, Kang-tae gets Moon-young up against a wall and reminds her that he doesn’t have time for her games. So what, she says, if he had the time, he’d be playing along? She suggests he stop living a boring life and start having some fun; she knows he wants to.

He snaps that she doesn’t know him, and she calls him a hypocrite. He backs off as if she slapped him, and she wonders why he seems so hurt by the word. After all, everyone can be a hypocrite, living with hatred and not admitting to it. She leaves him with that, heading back into the hall.

Moon-young’s smile disappears, as she notices her father in a wheelchair up ahead. Her father cries out in fear, earning a nurse’s attention, but Moon-young walks on by without a second glance.

Sang-tae comes by to meet up with Kang-tae, but he wanders off when he catches a glimpse of Moon-young walking away. Before he can catch up with her, Kang-tae finds him and guides him back inside for a session with Director Oh.

At first, Sang-tae is nervous around Director Oh, but he loosens up when he’s asked about his toy dinosaur. Director Oh takes him and Kang-tae to a huge blank wall by the stairwell and asks that he create a mural of the hospital’s view.

Kang-tae isn’t so sure about this, but Director Oh insists, “This is my prescription for him.” To their surprise, Sang-tae is more than happy to do it, as long as he’s paid, of course. Hee.

That night, at home, Kang-tae sees Sang-tae stashing some money away in a secret box. He asks what his hyung is saving up for, and Sang-tae shows him a folded up ad for a camping car.

Sang-tae says that with a camping car, they won’t have to move every year. They won’t have to worry about the butterfly or about the landlord bothering Kang-tae. Moved by the sentiment, Kang-tae hugs him and reassures him, “I don’t need a house, car, or money. All I need is you, really. You’re my everything.”

The next day, the caregivers shake their heads seeing Gi-do’s assemblyman father on TV promising his audience to get rid of the mental hospitals. Speaking of whom, Gi-do makes a grand escape the second no one’s watching.

Gi-do reaches the parking lot, when Moon-young’s car stops in front of him. Gi-do does his signature move — flashing her — which doesn’t faze her one bit. Knowing Kang-tae should be on his way, she invites Gi-do to go on a joyride.

While Joo-ri is driving Kang-tae to work, they get the call that Gi-do escaped and that Moon-young took him. They see Moon-young’s car speeding toward them, Gi-do whooping out the sunroof. Kang-tae has Joo-ri stop her car, and he gets out into the middle of the street, making himself a barrier. Ack!

Kang-tae yells for Moon-young to stop, as does Gi-do once he realizes Moon-young is speeding up. She’s racing toward him, smiling with intent, and then hitting the breaks. The car stops a few feet from him, and he doesn’t even flinch. Joo-ri, however, falls to the ground, calling Moon-young crazy.

Moon-young rolls down her window and tells Kang-tae, “You’re not running away. Or avoiding me. I’m impressed.” She urges him to get in and join them, but he just yells at her to get out. She wonders why he’s always worried about her, and frustrated, he says that she makes him worry.

To that, she points out that he could ignore her. As if tempting him, she hits the gas again and zooms away. He takes Joo-ri’s car and chases after them, all the way into town. They make quite the mess, getting the police on their tail and wrecking up an outdoor market.

Passing Assemblyman Kwon’s election campaign, Gi-do goes up to the sunroof again and warns people not to vote for his dad. And (whether this is intentional or not), Moon-young stops the car at the center of the campaign and suggests they have some fun here. Without hesitation, Gi-do sprints for the stage.

Gi-do announces to everyone that he’s Assemblyman Kwon’s youngest son and the mentally ill one in the family, and his dad collapses in shock. Kang-tae finally appears, running over, but stops short as Gi-do’s speech turns emotional:

“I was the only stupid one in my family. But that’s not my fault. I was just born a little dumb. [Dad] hit me because I didn’t get good grades, he looked down on me because I couldn’t understand properly, he locked me up for causing trouble. I mean, I’m also his child. But he treated me like I was invisible. I just wanted his attention.”

Gi-do’s eyes have been filling with tears this entire time, but he grins again and cries that he’s gone crazy for real. His dad’s men hurry on stage to grab him, and he flails about as he dodges them.

Kang-tae is so captivated by the sight that he barely notices Moon-young approaching him and standing next to him. He’s imagining himself as Gi-do, smiling ear to ear and jumping around without a care in the world.

Moon-young breaks his trance, saying Gi-do sure is having fun. And Kang-tae quietly wonders if he should just give in and have fun with her. She turns to him, looking surprised, and then slowly smiles.

Epilogue.

Before, when we saw Gi-do’s memory of being chased out of the nightclub, he was actually running around the hospital, reenacting it all. Kang-tae was following and watching with a sweet smile as Gi-do announced to the patients that the “drinks” were on him.

Gi-do then headed into the gym, onto the treadmill, to “run away” from his dad’s men. He eventually jumped down, the excitement draining from his face, as he concluded that he ended up back here, in the hospital. Seeing Gi-do’s spirit diminish so quickly, Kang-tae’s face fell as well.

 
COMMENTS

Okay, if I’m crying now, in only Episode 3, I am doomed. After Gi-do’s colorful entrance, I did not expect the drama to turn that around and make it emotional. But I guess I should’ve known, this being Kwak Dong-yeon, who’s always been able to make me laugh and cry within the same five minutes. To be honest, I was hesitant to fully enjoy the drama’s humor, which has been surprisingly constant. I was worried the comedy would make fun of the characters with mental illness, turn them into stereotypes, and I’m relieved to see that that’s not the case. The arc for patient Mr. Kim, from the premiere, fell kind of flat for me, but Gi-do’s arc hit right where it hurts. The way his behavior was edited was funny (the bars, y’all, the bars), but after hearing his speech, his actions now seem sad. It made him less a character and more a person — a person who had issues and wanted to be accepted regardless.

We’re still early in, but I would really love it if the drama went therapy-forward. I think we’re already going down that route, and that’s great, but I don’t want the drama to just dip its toes and come out — I want that deep dive. Therapy can be surprising, for people with all different kinds, and all different levels, of worries and fears and trauma. Everyone can benefit from it, even if the only reason is to have someone to chat with. Yet if someone needs therapy, there’s this stigma that there’s something wrong with them. Which, okay, let’s be real, nobody’s perfect, just as Moon-young pointed out. I don’t think Kang-tae believes that he’s perfect, but I do think he’s acting okay when he’s not (roll credits). It’s understandable, since he had to take on a parent role at a young age, but he can’t just ignore his own mental health.

Moon-young has an extreme way of thinking (an extreme way of everything, really), but she’s right in saying that bottling things up can make people sick. Kang-tae is a strong person, and strong people can break. They can let loose, they can complain. I read a comment in the last recap, saying our couple truly is the perfect match, and I really liked the explanation. It said that Moon-young can help Kang-tae lose control and that he can help her maintain control, bringing balance. And since I like metaphors, I think of them as each other’s anchors. She’s the anchor that will set him free, encouraging him to live, and he’s the anchor that will make sure she doesn’t float away. She’s been the one pushing the relationship so far, to the point where it reads as toxic, so it’ll be interesting seeing where this ending will lead us, now that he wants to go all in.

In turn, I wonder if Moon-young will do the same and allow Kang-tae to take care of her. I want to talk about that dream sequence, and not just because it was creepy and gorgeous as hell. (Did anyone else think of the Bent-Neck Lady from The Haunting of Hill House?) I don’t think there are any paranormal elements, per say, but there’s no doubt that the ghost of Moon-young’s mother is all too real for her. I don’t want to jump to conclusions just yet, but it looks like Moon-young might’ve watched her mother die when she could’ve saved her. We know that her mother must’ve fed her thoughts of being cursed or being a monster, and the more you hear something, the more you believe it. Moon-young never received love, never gave it, never felt it, because she never knew how. Can people with her disorder technically feel love? I don’t know. Can anyone, besides those with the disorder, really know?

Anyway, it was the part immediately after, with dream Kang-tae consoling her, that got to me. On the surface level, she wants him for purely selfish reasons, and below that, the reason is most likely that she wants him to accept and love her. Still selfish, maybe, but we can all be a little selfish sometimes, right? I think she just needs proof that not everything she touches gets destroyed. And he was beginning to show her that by standing his ground in the street. He may be intimidated by her, and she may push him away, but I have a feeling he’ll always bounce back.

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Thanks so much for the recap, @sailorjumun! <3

That ending. Just… wow. I actually applauded at my screen and got chills. Bravo, director, writer, and Kwak Dong-yeon. Sometimes KDY is a bit over-the-top for my tastes, but his style really worked here.

I was concerned at the beginning of the episode that they would just play Kwak Dong-yeon’s character for laughs, but I absolutely love how they flipped the switch in the end. I was in awe of the directing during those first scenes. The camerawork as it was following him around to the club and the street was just amazing! But then when they revisited it at the end… no words.

Also, that scene with the brothers where Sang-tae says why he wants to buy the RV? I think you could hear my heart break clean in two. And the hug afterwards was just icing on the cake.

I still have concerns over how this show will handle Moon-young’s character and storyline, but so far I’m quite pleased with how they’ve dealt with mental illness. It’s rare for dramas to get it even a little bit right. I’m no expert, but the humanity they show these characters is so very appreciated.

As for the romance, I have many, many doubts, but I think that at the very least it will be a fun ride. So far, though, it is not the potential for romance that is really making this drama work for me. Instead, it is the characters as individuals, the relationship between the brothers, the focus on mental health, and the gorgeous, gorgeous directing. Yes, Seo Ye-ji and Kim Soo-hyun have great chemistry, but I’m not sure if that will be enough for me as the show continues. We’ll see.

I’m trying not to have expectations and instead just want the story to take me where it will.

Oh, one thing that I'm sure other people have pointed out but that I think deserves a small mention: Most dramas do the freeze-frame and series of still shots at the end of an episode, but I love how this show does action shots instead. They're truly beautiful to look at, seeing the way the wind ruffles the characters' hair, the movement of their eyes.

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Regarding your last comment, I also noticed and I love it!!

Totally agree with you on the rest of your comment.

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I don't think I've ever seen another drama do it before! It is one of those tiny differences that is unexpected and refreshing.

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I'm also somewhat worried about the romance because the show has VERY clearly labeled Mun-yeong as a person with antisocial personality disorder, which IS NOT A JOKE. It is a very serious disorder and usually quite a destructive one. Even if the person with it manages to be successful in life, they often destroy or at least severely harm people around them.

And the noteworthy thing here is that people with ASPD don't really HEAL from it. It's not something that will go away if you give that person enough love, comforting and empathy. (In fact, doing that could be very dangerous to you...)

So, in short, I am a bit worried that the show will present Mun-yeong as having healed from her condition with the help & love from Kang-tae. Hopefully not and I also have hopes that they will show her having retained her core of callousness and not really having empathy but managing to soften a bit towards Kang-tae and due to her need to please him and keep him, she might learn to treat other people a bit better.

But we shall see.

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The thing that makes me think Moon Young and Kang Tae might work, despite the APD, is that he has been in a relationship with someone with autism his whole life. There’s no similarity here other than the other person just being wired differently, but that’s a pretty important thing to be capable of accommodating.

What did Sang Tae say earlier, about autistic people’s families being close strangers? More than anyone else, Kang Tae is capable of a sort of analytical empathy that actually might work with APD.

You’re not wrong, though. For most people, getting involved with someone with APD would be disastrous. Like a funhouse hall of mirrors.

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I have the same concern so I was hoping that the show would conclude that she never had ASPD in the first place to avoid that... I mean, her behaviour has been pretty extreme but it could just be the result of experiencing trauma in her childhood, right?

If she really does have ASPD then I don't think she could have a healthy long-term relationship with Kang-Tae...

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I agree with everything you said here, mindy, my thoughts exactly. Well said =D I'm glad I'm enjoying the ride with all of you~

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Truly, what a wild ride this drama is! I definitely get the Hill House vibe from the nightmare sequence, which I promptly fast-forward past, but had to tiptoe back to get to see the hug. I love the metaphor of Moon-young and Kang-tae being each other's anchor. The way Moon-young pursuits Kang-tae has its funny moments but also hints at how toxic it could easily become. And I really like that we're beginning to see how Kang-tae, Sand-tae, and Moon-young depend on one another, and how they can learn from the other to in order to heal.

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I am beyond thrilled that the romance isn’t between a person with ADP and someone oblivious - Kang Tae knows EXACTLY what’s coming at him with Moon Young and when you add in his 10 years of hospital experience and managing his brother, he’s probably one of the only people who has a chance of creating a good relationship with Moon Young.

“Can people with her disorder technically feel love?” from the recap - my understanding is no, not in the way most people do. But they can understand value, and if they assign value to a particular person and extend that value map out to the things that matter to that person, they can approximate something that appears a lot like love. Or at least lets people coexist in a close relationship.

Man, though. She’s got the ADP charisma down pat.

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Right, exactly! I'm very excited to see how their relationship will develop from here, especially once they both learn more about the other's traumatic past and how that informs who they are today.
Truly, Kang-tae's resistance is futile. He's lasting longer than me - I fell for Moon-young's charms the moment she appears on the screen. I stood no chance.

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What I’m most concerned about is that in a moment of desperation (or failure of manipulation), Moon Young will try to leverage Sang Tae. She’s smart so she shouldn’t, but if she’s seriously desperate she could miscalculate. Or she could fail to anticipate Sang Tae’s reaction. I’m not sure there’s anything she could do to Kang Tae to forever lose him, but ANYTHING she does that negatively impacts Sang Tae would probably do it instantly.

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Agreed. I have the feeling that she might try to get Sang-tae to confront his traumas like she helped Ki-do “have fun”. Admittedly, Ki-do does get something rather positive from that experience, but there are so many unknowns about Sang-tae still. But maybe Sang-tae would surprise us all and flips the table on Moon-young.

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OMG! Resistance is futile! Now I see Moon Young as the Borg 😱

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toxic yes lol....and honestly , how could she go to her old house that has beeen abandoned for many years and actually slept there, i mean she actually dreamt people (even if it was a nightmare) it all quickly turned from fluffy to horror ,, her character yooothe guts loving it ... and the way she says "i want you ".....hehe get me out of here ...

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But also leave me to fall in her charms and smiles!!!

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Thank you for the quick recap!!

This drama is seriously amazing. While the premier week was stunning and does a fabulous intro for our setting, characters and overall vibe, this one really grounded it for me. KDY’s cameo was fantastic and the part where he just lets it go and Kang-tae saw what he could’ve been/wanted to be - that was not only heartbreaking but also so realistic. I believe everyone has gone through something like that in their lives.

Despite this drama having a theme of dark fairytales and mystical elements, it’s grounded in real emotions and real people with real issues. I love that so much. Moon-young’s vulnerability, Kang-tae’s restraint, Gi-do’s desperation, they are all emotions we go through and have the power to change us as people.

I love that this drama isn’t afraid to show the leads as real people with real flaws. Kang-tae could’ve been Gi-do. Moon-young isn’t just “misunderstood” - it is who she is. I hope they continue to do this because there’s something refreshing about a drama that isn’t afraid to tell their story no matter how dark it can get.

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What's great about the Gi-do's arc is that it's not a stand-alone, separate story-line from that of the main characters. We can see bits of everyone in that arc, and ultimately learn more about each character. Especially Kang-tae, as we now know how suffocated he feels his entire life, and possibly some resentment towards his situation. We learn that Moon-young is exceptionally insightful and perceptive despite her lack of sympathy and conscience. I just hope the show continue its good track of portraying the mind of the mentally-illed, no rose colored lenses needed.

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Agreed 100%. What I love most about this drama is that it shows mentally ill people as intelligent, creative and perceptive. That’s probably the best part - just because they aren’t what other people might call ‘normal’ they have their own strengths that others don’t.

Moon-young as you said is insightful and can read through what people are hiding. Sang-tae is a great artist and can also read emotions through people’s expressions. Gi-do (SPOILER ALERT) can understand [REDACTED] I love that. It’s rare in a kdrama and this one got it right big time so far.

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Yes! Gi-do's arc hit harder because it brings us a bit closer to understanding Gang-tae.

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As more episodes are aired what strikes me as a huge difference between Psycho Butts (what the hell, this title cannot be abbreviated conveniently so I will take @missvictrix's lead) and recent disappointments among shows with fantastical elements such as King, Melting Me Softly and Forest is that this show seems like the firm bones of the story and characters were established first, then the wonderful visuals and stylistic flourishes were added, whereas the other shows seem like the producers and writers got excited about certain ideas about initial premise, visuals and style, and only afterwards tried to cobble together a story to fill in gaps between the showcase moments. I am not speculating that is what actually happened, but just commenting the end products appear that way.

With Psycho Butts, even if all the lovely visuals were significantly muted, I would still enjoy the show immensely for the story (not original, necessarily, but well done), dialogue and chemistry between the performers (and not just between the two leads.)

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@halofan68, totally agree with you. With this drama, every character feels alive and three-dimensional. Kang-tae is a wonderful character, showing both his big heart and love for his brother but at the same time his buried, bubbling desire to truly live and break free from his situation. Coming from a family with mentally-ill family members, i’m connected with him deeply and feel his anxiety and depress whenever his brother has an episode. On the other hand, though i have not known much about anti-social disorder before, Moon-young feels real to me, like a real person with both a rich personality and a mental disorder (not just some arrogance rich lady being slightly strange in order to fit the tag of being mentally ill).

I share your opinion about other recent dramas, especially The King. It feels like people just coming up with pretty scene and how to shot them before making sense of how and why the characters do it. The whole show is more like a pretty music video than a coherent story (like sb has said). I pretty much shut my brain and my heart while watching it.

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It sounds like this drama has really struck a chord for you.....for me too. I have family members who go through chronic highs and lows. Back in the 1950's it just got covered up and created a terrible situation for everyone involved.

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Yes, caring for the mentally-ill is a lifetime commitment that demands strength physically, mentally and emotionally. That’s why this drama is precious. I hope you and your family are ok.

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These lightning quick recaps are incredible, thank you again, SailorJumun! 🤍 That hanging ghost scene was expected yet terrifying, especially because of poor Moon Young suffering while immobile. She’s a badass but who wouldn’t be absolutely terrified of that thing? Serious props to her for still staying in that creepy house of horrors despite the fact.

I think the Candy role reversal here is truly coming to fruition with Moon Young’s stubborn pursuit of Kang Tae despite him trying to shut her down more than once.......but. The mixed signals he continues to send are definitely telling a different story - especially in episode 4, but that’s for the next recap. What’s important to note here that despite Moon Young’s advances are bold, honest and downright strange, I don’t think she’s toxic in the same sense that typical pushy male kdrama leads have been. She’s not violent or overtly angry, just enamoured and curious, seemingly because Kang Tae appears to be the key to the peace she seeks from her past trauma. The fact that he had a childhood crush on her also seems to fit in quite nicely so I’m sure with all these things combined, she’s no doubt curious about having him in her life. How that unfolds will be fun to watch.

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I'm still a mess after ep4, this drama really hit me so hard with all these emotions TT

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Here's one mess sending hug to another mess.

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lemme also add my own mess of tears to this messy group hug <3

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Messy ugly crier here. Can I join in??

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Fortunately we are all messed together and can start a therapy beanie group.

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I ugly cried in ep4. KSH always gets me, damn him. It’s too early for me to be so emotionally invested 🤦🏻‍♀️

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Waiting for the recap of episode 4. I cried too.

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ME TOO TT_TT the second half of ep 4 just wrecked me completely

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I cried when KDY started speaking on the podium but episode 4 wrecked me to pieces

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Kwak Dong-Yeon needs more roles like this. Ive watched him only in 2 dramas (My ID is Gangnam Beauty and Love in the Moonlight), but like, I am ready. Like, I want more, I want the whole thing.

This drama is so freaking amazing.

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He's also incredible in My Strange Hero. But there, he hurts your heart more than he mends it.

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His cameo in Doctor Detective was touching too.

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He needs a lead role asap.

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Oh but he has! He was the lead role in Never Twice! :)

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I meant a good drama. Don’t misunderstand me, I watched Never Twice and enjoyed it, but the last 10 episodes were agony. Our little family was the only thing that kept me watching all that nonsense.

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What a great recap! I was desperately waiting for this one to be loaded because the episode really affected me deeply.
KDY's highs and the inevitable lows are so real. Having worked in mental health, it can be gut wrenching to watch someone ascend those highs just to know that when the low comes, it can crush you. Also his laughing/crying speech about how his father just hid him away. That is real.

And the RV scene with KT telling ST 'you are all I need'. O.M.G.

One again, the costumes and the hair are perfection. Though I am not sure about Moon Yong wearing a leather corset to teach a literature class.....but whatever.

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You're like the flash @sailorjumun! Thanks for the great analogy at the end and detailed recap.

Up until now they haven't resolved that much of the mental issues with the exception of maybe Gi Do. But I think it's a bit therapeutic to see the issues being addressed in a fictional drama. It's nice that they are pointing out the story from two perspective where one is the sufferer and the other is spectator/abuser/caregiver/sympathizing friend/ cause of the sufferings. I usually watch dramas to escape from reality but once in a while this kind of drama makes me view some real life issues with colorful set up and leads me to think as if all was a long dream.

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I have more thoughts that I'll expound on once the Episode 4 recap is posted, but for now:

Kwak Dong-Yeon's cameo? Brilliant. The filming style implemented in the first telling of how he got in trouble, and the reversal with the second? Also brilliant. I absolutely love the creativity in the way this drama is filmed. It's really punctuates the story in a complimentary way.

TOTALLY also thought of the Bent-Neck Lady from Haunting Hill in that scene. What a visual.

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Thanks for the recap @sailorjumun!

Both of them are hidding their scars. Kang-tae buries his feelings by living his life very numbly, he doesn't let himself live normaly to avoid emotions. Moon-young is the opposite, she's very straightforward but to make people thinking she's strong. But her nightmares are pretty scary.

Moon-young is not completely wrong about his hypocrisy but I don't like that she sees him as object and not a person and the fact that he's really bad to get rid of her.

KSH and KDY gave a lot of themselves for this episode. I'm really thankful 😍 It was so funny to see Kang-tae thinking seriously at the end and KDY's character running in the background.

An OST from Sam Kim \o/

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Sam Kim's voice really worked as the knitting thread for this week's episodes.

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Sam Kim’s OST is just ❤️

I admit to being crazy enough and waking early this morning for its release. I was just so into it after it was played during Gi-do’s stage scene. It was just emotional for some reason.

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at least he could see into himself more after the conversation with MY. he never sees himself and i feel bad for him

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Oh My God, thanks God for this recap, I really need an outlet after watching ep. 4. Can we talk about how great Moon-young is as a character? I thank the screenwriter for not watering her down (yet?). She stays true to her anti-social disorder. She is impulsive, unsympathetic, immoral and lacks conscience. I just love the moment she childishly scream at the deer in the middle of the road LOL. I also ADMIRE how she's so straightforward in her sexual desire for Kang-tae.
Her obsession of Kang-tae is in my opinion both positive and negative at the same time. It doesn't come from a place of a healthy fluttering heart like in conventional rom-coms, but from outright possessiveness. She views Kang-tae as an object. But I'm positive that the relationship will pull both characters to a healthier place psychologically. Kang-tae is Moon-young's brake, while MY can free him from his self-reservation, hesitation and restraints. They both give each other attention and love that they don't really expect they would need.
P/S: Breath from Sam Kim is the best OST i've heard so far in this year!

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I also like the way Moon Young is openly talking about sex to Kang Tae: on episode one telling him she can pay with sex, in this episode saying she wants him, wanting to touch his abs (who can blame her?) and telling him she's horny.
Right now the attraction they feel is pretty sexual, and I like it because it happens in real life and to me that is more real than a couple in their late thirties looking for stupid excuses to spend a night together.

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That scene was funny, but actually sexual assault and wildly inappropriate, but they play it well the both of them

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Totally agree, but it's so Moon Young!

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That’s how people with anti-social disorder are: totally disregard morality or law and order. MY just doesn’t care or understand. On the other hand, is it bad that i like watching her harassing him? *crying intensifies*

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We can be bad together, I enjoy it too.

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No, it makes PERFECT SENSE. I’ve seen some people on other sites getting bent out of shape about how Moon Young is basically stalking and harassing Kang Tae, and in particular getting bothered that people are cheering her on. But that’s the entire point!

Moon Young is all of us with the filters stripped out. So of COURSE when she feels up Kang Tae people love watching it, because it’s raw instinct. We all get those impulses, which we instinctively water down into something socially appropriate.

What makes Moon Young (and, I should mention, a lot of other ADP people in the wild) so charismatic is that they DO the things all of us wish we could do, and they do them with no shame or fear or apology. We wouldn’t want to face someone with that lack of filter, but watching her let loose in a drama? Amazingly enjoyable.

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That’s so eloquently put, Miranda. Watching her makes some parts in me scream ‘i want her as my role model’, or ‘i want to do what she does’. It’s also refreshing to see a kdrama female lead be that straightforward and unapologetic too!

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I don't think there will be any supernatural thing in the drama, although to Moon Young her mum's ghost is quite real. And the scene was shocking and a bit scary (maybe a lot?) that showed us the living hell where Moon Young dwells. The fact that she can see her can explain her sentence in previous episode: "I registered her death years ago", after all she's not really dead to MY.

I have also think she had something to do with her mother's death. And so does his father and that's the reason we saw last week that scene where he was trying to choke her and his ravings that MY should be dead.

KDY cameo was overwhelming. It was supposed to be a comic relief at first (his outburst in the room, the elephant in the parking slot, his funny face), but then, it turned out to be so sad. I was heartbroken when he was in that sunroof letting himself to shout out loud his feelings: telling his parents didn’t love or care for him because he has mental issues and he’s not intelligent, and that he suffered abuse. Some beanies have told me that on other sites people was saying this whole scene was for fun… laughs? Not for me. as it was devastating, and it was even more devastating to know that Kang Tae instead of trying to stop him, realizes he’s free and wants to taste that freedom, even knowing it will hurt

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@eazal, yes yes, totally agree with you. I saw someone comment on a different post about how the drama is unsure about its genre, like is it a rom-com, or supernatural, or horror? Etc... i get that on the surface, it can be hard to get, but it’s just that people don’t try to understand the metaphor or read between the line. The drama is not supernatural, or horror. It’s just a way to portray mental ill-ness. Like the fairytale, disney-like walk Sang-tae had on his way to Moon-young book event, that’s just the portrayal of how things were in Sang-tae’s mind. Or the ‘horror scene’ with the mother hanging up on Moon-young’s bed, it’s supposed to be understood that to MY, her mother is dead physically, but still haunts her mind (she said this in the very first episode). To a lot of mentally ill patient, reality can be pretty terrifying, especially with hallucinations, now tell me the ‘horror’ part is not ingenious. The drama is nothing but an attempt to humanize mentally-ill people, allowing us to see the world from their point of view.

Same with the KDY cameo, it serves 2 purposes. First is to show another side of mental illness. Second is to explore the Kang-tae, his opinion about his situation, his desire to be free and how ‘hypocritical’ he is, saying he just needs his hyung and that is it. The Gi-do’s arc makes Moon-young’s comment about him being a ‘hypocrite’ hit where it hurts. Don’t know why people don’t try to understand all the juicy metaphors in this drama

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When Moon-young’s car was speeding towards Kang Tae, was I the only one screaming, “Don’t stop! Keep going, girl You are the doomsday truck!.” Was I? Shoot. I must be coming down with the mild case of antisocial disorder. No worries. It will go away by the next episode.

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We could Moon Young to drive certain car of doom really wanted in Dinner Mate, for instance, haha.

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Also, OK Hospital has some kind of Doldam vibe as some beanies mentioned, and I declare Nurse Park my favorite nurse. I love her sense of humour and her dynamics with Dr. Oh.
They are going to give us great moments!!

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They're a great dynamic duo! I love Dr. Oh so far - he's a touch eccentric but also funny.

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yes, OK looks similar with Doldam with those woody walls and vintage vibes.

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Dr. Oh is having a great eye for details, I like his methods. It was good timing for his hospital - GD's dad speech and MY persuasion of getting help to someone by throwing the person into the waters and watch her/him if she/he'll figure out how to swim.

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After reading up a bit on Moon-Young's condition, I've decided that my 2nd cat also had antisocial personality disorder.

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I posted about him back in 2017...

http://www.dramabeans.com/members/lordcobol/activity/234594/

...but that's not the only time the Evil One made me bleed.

You know how a relaxed cat may sometimes (1) flex his claws, and (2) lie on his side and stretch. One time he was relaxing on the carpet when I was standing nearby, and the a**hole stretched and calmly stuck one claw deep into the front of my big toe. A big drop of blood immediately formed, so picture me hobbling upstairs to where the band-aids were, trying to bend to toe upwards so the blood wouldn't drip onto the carpet. He never apologized or even made a fake expression of any remorse. So not a Korean cat

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😂 sorry but my sister's cat was really happy to be on my knees once in a while and she gave me pain in joy most of the time because she was doing this movement with her paws, it's hardly to describe, when she was sitting on my thighs and she was folding her paws with excitement in the same time showing me her super strong claws which were destroying my jeans and giving me the most painful acupuncture in the same time.

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@sailorjumun I agree it is a fine line of respectfully depicting characters with humour and making fun, and I'm so impressed that they were able to do so so well! I was actually sort of speechless after the end of this episode. I have never seen mental health so visually but beautifully depicted. It really captured the nuances of characters' internal struggles. I normally do not like or appreciate public press-conference-style announcements of "truth" or personal struggle as I find they are unnecessarily dramatic and unintentionally funny. But this served the purposes of helping Kang-tae realize his own personal struggles while depicting Gi-do as (as you do aptly put it) human. It was simply beautiful and I was just speechless. In a good way. The world seemed a little brighter upon watching a big-budget drama depict mental health so...humanely and in such a relatable way. Who, like Gi-do, hasn't fantasized about escape from reality?

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The ending was PERFECT. I laughed at the initial showing of what he went through and I think that was the point. When they showed the end combined with his speech it shows how mental illness works. Especially because he was manic so he was on a crazy high, it makes sense that he felt like he was at some kind of party. The director peppered the party scenes with notes of realness. He was showing it from Kwang Do Yeon( What a bloody f&*king TALENT) character's POV. The ending showed it from the caretakers POV and that was equally important. I really hope this show continues in this vane because WOW.

I also want to shout out Oh Jung Se because he is nailing his character. He is very believable as a higher functioning autistic person, there is no mockery in this and I appreciate both the writing and characterization.

As for Moon Young I appreciate all of her. Flawlessly styled and messy as hell. She is so rude and inappropriate. She is also very vulnerable but because she has never had anyone on her side, she has walls so rigid, that she closes herself out to everyone.

Kang tae needs to learn the difference between rigidness and strength. He is rigid, which can be easily broken, but strength bends. He has figured out the difference yet, but when he does he will breathe much easier.

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Finally! I spent most of the day refreshing this page occasionally, hoping to see the recap for this episode, which, thanks for that @sailorjumun. This was the best episode yet, and I really hope that the show continues to go well.

First of all, I love the cinematography. It's so pretty and reminds me a bit of Hotel Del Luna. But it has an appeal that's all it's own. I liked her family's mansion, creepy as it might have been. It was just so gothic. I half expected the FL to wander the halls of the place in one of those long, white night nightgown and loose hair.

I was enjoying the sizzling chemistry between our leads, but then Gi-do gave his speech on that stage and I was bawling. I hope we get to see more of him, and I really hope we get to see his dad accept him, although I won't hold my breath.

I was so excited for this show and now it's here and I'm glad it hasn't disappointed me thus far. Keeping my fingers crossed.

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Thank you for the recap @sailorjumun! This episode made me laugh out loud ( the shouting match with the deer was epic) and made me cry (Kwak Dong-yeon's character). I've said this before, but this drama does an excellent job of balancing comedy with pathos. Lastly, the scene with the moms ghost floating over the bed was creepy! 😱

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My fave scenes this EP came when MY was at the mansion.
My current thoughts: all those spooky elements we were shown while she was making her way through the house,looked to be manifestations of her trauma than supernatural.
And culmination in that eerie Sleep Paralysis episode she had, oof ...As an occasional sufferer of SP, I felt cold dread in the pit of my stomach while she lay frozen, awake but immobile and powerless to do anything until the horror show played itself out. I was surprised she used the butterfly method after scoffing that these tricks didn't work on her.(Was expecting her to use those eventually but not in EP3) but makes clear how deep GT has affected her in these few encounters.
I am cautiously optimistic that the show will continue to dwelve into mental health with the care and nuance it's promised so far...
*Special shout out to the shouting match with the deer..(will MY get to exercise her vocal cords every odd ep😂)

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I loved the deer scene.
I love anything MY does, it doesn't matter if she's not a very sane person.

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Kwak Dong-yeon ❤️ 💔.

I don’t have words. I was so overwhelmed by this episode. That ending. It was a rollercoaster of a ride and then I felt like someone punched my gut.

The brothers are breaking my heart. It’s those little gestures filled with so much love and pain.

This episode was all about Kang-Tae for me. The little cracks he started to show. He has been holding in for a long long time. That exhilarating car chase and then watching GiDo talk literally made him crack. I loved the subtle acting by KSH in this episode. His eyes were emoting so well.

I am curious how they are going to build the relationship. So far the show has been handling mental illness and autism with sensitivity I feel. I hope it can be therapeutic, as well.

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Agreed about Kang-tae! I mentioned last week about the scene where Kang-tae realized he might be running away but instead of crying (his eyes were already tearing up), he decides to smile and smile some more.

I love that in this episode he’s slowly cracking. He needs to break down fully before he can heal and he needs to let it out. This episode was all about him getting there for me. And KSH... I know SYJ is killing it. She has such a dramatic and fun character to play too. But KSH... there’s something about him that forever gets me. He can make me cry on whim. Just something about his eyes and expressions that hits me right at the heart. He’s fabulous.

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Yes on KSH eyes.

I sometimes find an extremely good looking faces too distracting that I see the face instead of character. Like an overly sweet cake that distract from anu other flavoring. But not the case w KSH. He can really control his expression and emote his eyes. You can feel the sadness or annoyance or anger or amusement with just a slight facial expression.

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He’s always just his character. I think that’s probably what makes him so effective. You forget “Kim Soo-hyun”. He’s always just Sam-dong, Min-joon, Seung-chan or Kang-tae, and that’s what gets me. Ep4 and Kang-tae was a terrible combination for my eyes. It kept watering like a broken tap lol.

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Exactly! While I’m watching this one I’m also watching The Peodicers, and there’s no trace of KSH, just his character.

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When Gi-Do said they he kept running and running but he still ended up in the hospital, Gang-tae’s face fell. His eyes tell a story! That was his life. He ran his entire life but he is still in the same place. So painful.

I think his brother needs to heal too. Without his trauma he can still be ok and navigate this world at his own pace.
The past is dark and am dreading it.

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Yes! This! The whole epilogue was the mirror of Kang Tae’s life. When at the end GiDo jumped off of the treadmill and says basically that no matter how much he runs and runs he always ends up right back where he started. The look on KT face said it all. It was powerful.

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Go Moon Young speaks all our internal thoughts "I want you, because you're pretty"

I want to be her when I grow up. She is my hero. ❤

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Of course I wholeheartedly agree. Moon-young is my spirit animal. Wardrobe included.

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Ohh this episode was excellent and Gi Do had me crying real tears 😭 especially when we learned his story. I love Moon Young but want to know why is Kang Tae so mean to her? Sometimes downright nasty to her, it’s like he is taking his feelings out on her.

Moon Young May have an anti social personality but she is hardly evil and I’m guessing her parents treated her like she was an evil being. I think she and Kang Tae can heal each other. Also I DONT TRUST NAM JOO RI ! It’s something about her, but I just don’t like her. Maybe this will change but she seem devious .

My favorite scene was when Moon Young asked Kang Tae for some “ramen” and the lady in the background said “ Unni, Fighting” 🤣🤣🤣🤣.. I would say something like that too.. hilarious!!

I’m loving his drama !

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Nor you nor anyone that watches the drama can really trust Nam Joo Ri.

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Kang Tae is taking his feelings out on her, probably partially because he thinks she can take it and the other part because she is one of the few people who sees through his rigidity.

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I can see where he's coming from. I don't think he's being mean at all. Would you want to be around someone who is this close to running you down and thinks it's fun (referencing the car scene where she sped up)?

There's that whole "should I save him or should I not" thing that she likes to do when someone is in danger and she has the means to help them. So what if he catches her on a bad day? What if she decides to not save him on a whim.

I can't even see there being any sort of trust between the two. I can very much understand him wanting to cut ties with her completely. He made it quite clear he didn't want anything to do with her.

Granted, he is also clearly interested in her, especially given what he said at the end. I'm sure her idea of 'fun' is quite different from the average person's.

And like everyone else, Joo-ri is weirding me out, too. I don't know what she could be hiding though.

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May you be blessed... People keep on saying how good they are for each other and am like 😮😮😮... Do not put obviously disturbed people together, what if what if instead of healing each other they go the opposite direction... He already has enough, now he needs to "help" see the world... I say the cons out weighs the pros in this relationship, but one thing am sure of is that it will be one hell of an unforgettable ride for these two id they get together...

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It really surprises me how some think their relationship is okay. Dude, she pushed someone down stairs and wished they'd died as a result. That's attempted murder in my book. And yet she's considered oh so cool in other scenes? She's very much a flawed person, which does make her interesting. But if she literally has a disorder that the characters themselves say can't be cured (I believe Kang-tae even said this to her face in an earlier episode), then to me that means she will always be this way. And that's the kind of person that I would think most would never want to have a romantic relationship with.

There are moments where I feel strong sympathy for her, especially in the next episode. So maybe the writers aren't being all that technical with her diagnosis, which is very possible given that this is a fictional K-drama. Either way, it's still quite fun to watch.

Given that I know very little about her disorder (other than what the characters say and what I've seen on TV), maybe I'm reading too much into things, though...

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Tbh I was really relieved and happy to see her sad and disturbed in this episode because it was the first time we saw her show genuine emotions.

I really hope the ASPD "diagnosis" will not be verified/confirmed. Like, she could have it or maybe she's just so messed up that some people think she has it. I like this drama a lot so far but this really bugs me because if she really has it she needs to stay away from Kang Tae 😰

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Yeah, right now, I'm not taking that reporter's statement that she has ASPD as fact. So, like you, I also hope they don't have officially diagnosis her. Because then the romance would just leave me very uncomfortable. (Also, I feel like if she was officially diagnosed, then the K-drama would somehow mess up its portrayal of mental health issues.)

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I don’t think he’s particularly being mean to her. She just tends to trigger him and make him feel things he isn’t ready to face yet. Also, just in general she’s a stalker lol. She tends to follow him around despite him asking her multiple times not to. She kidnapped Gi-do to have him follow her. That was the intention so I can definitely see his need to protect himself from her.

On the other hand, obviously a part of him can’t exactly push her away fully. That’s the caretaker/good guy side of him lol.

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She technically didn’t kidnap him, although she knew that by taking him with her KT would follow them and that’s what she wanted.

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Hehe ..the way those 'patients' were cheering her on while the 'normie' nurses clutched their imaginary pearls...that was hilarious. Fighting, indeed 😉

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That annoying feeling where you are just surviving through life, and there is this one person who just can't seem to let you be... No matter how much you tell them... To me he was reaching his breaking point... Why be nice to this person who just seems to smash her way into your life and goes around screaming to be heard...

He was calmer, with my frustration level, I would insult and even insult her ancestors... 😒😒😒

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What meaningful comment can I add here? There are already so many insightful and wonderfully-written posts on this thread. :)

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Agree! Just reading and liking my way through

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Your last paragraph about the dream scene really stood out to me.

So far, we've only seen Moon Young's as someone who's very selfish. To me, her behavior reminds me of a young child who's gone unchecked (by this, I mean a child who has no adult in their lives to care for them and teach them things like right and wrong). Take that behavior and put it into an adult, it's honestly a little scary.

She doesn't seem to have an attachment to anyone in her life and just seems to use people to get what what wants. But it seems that Kang-tae might be that one person who ends up more than a plaything for her. After all, she mentioned her dream to him but not that it was about him basically comforting and caring for her after a bad dream.

I'm still not really for the romance (though the chemistry between the two really makes me want to change my mind sometimes). But it was surprising to see that Moon-young might actually seek affection and comfort from someone. From the synopsis, I assumed she would be completely incapable of feeling anything for anyone. I guess we'll just see what the writers decide to do with her character. This episode has me quite interesting, finally.

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Yes, this scene really stood out for me, largely due to SYJ's facial acting. She plays MY brilliantly, usually with amusement and irony rippling over her face as she blasts her way through her life. But when she awoke from her nightmare and imagined KT cupping her face, there was such vulnerability, trust and hope in her eyes. She became a different person. He brings peace to her, which she's not (can't?) communicating to him yet (ever?) but which she knows is real. Great, great acting.

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In that moment, she really did seem like a different person. I don't think she lets people see that side of her probably ever. I'm really interested to see her opening up to Kang-tae (and what that would even look like for her).

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That eeeeeeee Kwak Dong-yeon. Lol

Aw man. This drama is all I think and talk about. This can't be healthy. But it's so good! Feel good dramas are always nice but it's extra awesome when the show makes me think, makes me question myself, and stays with me long after the episode has ended.

I love the bar sequence with Ki-do. It gave us a glimpse of what's in his brain, the color, the hype, the intensity! Then we see the reality of it in the epilogue. He was having so much fun until he got off the treadmill tired and said "I ended up here again." Must have resonated with Gang-tae. Every time Spring comes and the butterflies appear, they would run but really, he ends up in the same place anyway. He can't run away from himself.

That's why him imagining himself having a good time on stage, wearing Ki-do's coat, hurt so much. He wants to let it all go. When he said "Should I just play and have fun with you?", he said it to himself. "Should I do that?" Asking confirmation from Moon-young. Then her smile in response. It's like they found a playmate in each other.

Ahhhhhh it's so hard to wait for episodes but I'm also too impatient to wait for episodes to pile up so I can binge watch. Thanks for the recap!

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“He ends up in the same place anyway, he can’t run from himself.”

That’s crazy true. You said it so well.

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"Feel good dramas are always nice but it's extra awesome when the show makes me think, makes me question myself, and stays with me long after the episode has ended." Yes! I'm learning so much just by being forced to think harder about things I've glossed over in the past. Excellent.

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I had no idea Kwak Dong-yeon was going to have an appearance in this drama. I thought his cameo was going to be a quickie, but his fleshed-out story was a pleasant surprise. He showcased a variety of emotions in a short period.

The whole scene with Moon Young arriving at the old castle/mansion was so high class movie-like! I love the camerawork showing the windy scattering of the leaves, the tiny spider crawling away, etc. The focus on the sounds from the background elements was also great and helped immerse the viewer into the mysterious scene.

Thanks for the fast recap! ^^

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Loss for word at how much I love the direction of the drama. The way they portray how all the characters’ inner struggles manifested in certain aesthetic is just spot on. From Sang-tae’s colourful reimagination of his world,l to Gi-do’s yearning for acceptance, it was portrayed delicately with humour, sensitivity, and pure gorgeousness. Especially love the aesthetics of Moon-young’s struggle- the gothic essence reminds me of my favourite novel, Jane Eyre- just the right tone on depicting her fears and nightmares.

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What a lovely recap. Thanks @sailorjumun!

Seriously, that huge mansion is creepy and it did not help it being in the middle of an equally creepy forest. I can not imagine living in that house. It makes me wonder how was she raised by both parents whom one has obvious mental issues. It looked haunted or could be a manifestation of MY's past haunting her. Even that part was beautifully executed.

I really like how they handled Gi-Do's story. His character was fleshed out and relateable. That speech was heartwrenching an. His story was extremely sad and wished it couldve been better for him. Bravo Kwak Dong Yeon! 👏🎉

MY was absolutely aggressive in this episode. Girl chased him until he gave up on fighting it. 🤣 I really do not think Joori stands a chance but I would like to see her try though. Their dynamics is really interesting and would like to see more of their past friendship to see what happened.

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Kwak Dong Yeon's cameo was great and the ending surprisingly touching. I'm not sold on the potential romance just yet, because I'm not sure how that would truly work on Moon-Young's part. But I also wonder if she truly has antisocial personality disorder and no ability to connect emotionaly with others or if it's a nature vs nurture thing and her condition is at least in part due to trauma. So far I think she does feel emotions but perhaps doesn't know exactly what she feels or why.

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I think she can feel.. because Kang Tae seems to hurt her with his rejection .. she may have had signs of anti social personality disorder but I think in a loving environment she could have improved. Her parents definitely did their bit to make her worse

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Ugh, I just love this feeling so much, of wanting to pause my watch of the next episode just so I can comment on the recap. All possible, once again, because of how quick you are @sailorjumun!

I already loved the wonderful immersion into Gi-do's imagination, but loved the depiction even more with the inclusion of the ending scene. It just offered so much. Perhaps his sadness hits harder in the context of the respect and love (almost) all the hospital staff exudes, in taking part in his dramatic re-telling. Something about the genuine joy they have in their patients, quirks and all, just gets me. We all have to try our best to find the beauty in our reality. Even if we can never be "normal" by most of society's standards, we find our own normal, and it really feels as if they honor that. Still, by undercutting the warmth of that ending scene with his inevitable sadness, we see that there may always be a sense of loss over not being "normal" no matter how we try to embrace our own version of it. Sang-tae, too, when he says "to an autistic person, family members are like close strangers", conveys a similar sense of loss, this time over his inability to fully connect with his brother.

Perhaps this is where we see that, while Moon-young is ultimately right that accepting your reality can lead to greater happiness, it doesn't always diminish the pain. But maybe that's the point (if going off the tale from ep 1 is any indication)?

I have much more to say, but the next episode has waited long enough!

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That elephant tho! The happy elephant. And then the sad elephant.

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🤣🤣🤣

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Yes, play with her! He needs to let go. Kang-tae keeps everything bottled up, which is so unhealthy. When Sang-tae said even his brother is like a close stranger, you could tell Kang-tae's feelings were hurt, but he couldn't express it because as a professional caretaker, he understands autism. Just like he understands Moon-young's antisocial personality disorder. Kang-tae may be saving Moon-young, but at the same time, Moon-young is saving Kang-tae.

Dream Kang-tae was so heart fluttering (and looked so good in her bed), but I cried when the camera zoomed out and Moon-young was comforting herself alone with the Butterfly patting. I felt her loneliness. Her mother really messed her up and is the reason why she doesn't believe in fairy tales. I thought Moon-young was going to drive Gi-do to her mansion with Kang-tae chasing, and he finds out she's the girl he liked because as a boy, he brought flowers to the gate of her house, which she stepped on.

A big thanks for the fast recap, @SailorJumun!

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Help me please, I don't know where else to ask the question. How do I shut off the music videos? They are distracting.

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There is a small x mark on the top right of the vid. Click it and it should close but it will load again when you go to a different page.

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I've done that, but I want to get rid of them completely.

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Bruh. This is drama is crazy good I’m actually scared. I haven’t felt this way about a drama for AGES. The scriptwriting, the directing, the acting, the truth bombs *chefs kiss*. Plus, I have never seen chemistry sizzle as much as it does between our leads. Is this my new crack drama?

I love how artfully and sensitively they handle the perspective of someone with a disorder. They don’t just tell you what it’s like... they show you how it feels. And this encourages viewers to EMPATHIZE. Which is great because we need more kindness and understanding in this effed up world.

I also love how everything is delivered with a dark fairytale tone because it makes things more palatable, not too heavy, but not out of reality either. Just like Moon Young said, “A fairytale isn’t a hallucinogen that gives us hopes and dreams. It’s a stimulant that makes us face reality.”

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First time to watch the leads and all I can say is that theyre so great in what they do.
I almost cried while watching Episodes 1.and 2 and got really scared in episode 3 as the mansion in the middle of the forest is creepy.
So far, i'm liking it. looking forward to episode 4.

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Leads are great... and I love how the writer puts them in almost equal footing.... in so many aspects of their character.
Same age.... same height standing toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye ..... same intertwined traumatic background (good chance MY's dad is connected to GT's mother's demise) ..... same hometown.... same predicament of having to face mental illness in the family. But most of all .... both have identical good looks.... they look almost alike.

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I was a bit worried last week that the drama put too much focus on style that it would lack susbstance. I giess I'm still traumatised by a certain drama. It takes sometime for me to get used to IONTBO director style but now I'm fully onboard.

Gi-Do's arc is the turning point for me. To flesh out a side story in such an interesting and heartfelt way is not an easy feature. Kwak Dong-yeon slay!!!

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Lots of comments about how people don’t see the romance between the two leads yet but I do. The romance is already there. Kang Tae is attracted to Moon Young but he doesn’t want to be. Kang Tae sees her as messed up and I think he wants a “normal” relationship (Joo Ri) even if he is attracted to that person. I think Moon Young is exactly what he needs and Kang Tae is exactly what Moon Young needs. I remember a Quote by
Lisa kleypas (author) I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together. This quote sums up Moon Young and Kang Tae for me. They are fractured pieces that fit together.

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First nice author reference and what a gorgeously worded quote. Hinge together is perfect for Moon Young and Kang Tae.

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Thank you, I remember reading that quote years ago and it always stuck with me. When I was watching this drama and reading the comments, I thought about that quote because it applied to Moon Young and Kang Tae so perfectly.

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Lovely quote. Thank you!

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Completely out of topic comment but Big Lisa Kleypas fan here! Except pretty sure the quote came from her contemporary. I’ve read all her historicals lol, and I can’t seem to remember this one.

Regardless, it’s approps as hell!

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Lol, type in Lisa kleypas soul mate and it comes right up on Good reads.. I’m her fan for historical stop.. she didn’t say which book it referenced but I think it was for Devil in the Winter!! One of my absolute Fav historical.. the quote applies to Sebastian and Evangaline too 😂

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*clapps* Bravo. We should write a petition to appoint @candilane a new writer for this drama. Because they understand what this drama needs the most - fitting together the fractured lives of main characters in the most constructive way. I’m afraid that the current writer has evil intent to bash their lives even harder, and our hopes for the happy hinging ... I mean happy ending will be once again destroyed.

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Thank you for the kind response but I think the current writer is excellent and neutral (As they should be).. Lol, I’m not neutral and I enjoy debating In the comments section.. it was just a fitting quote nothing more.. I appreciate you words but no need to knock the writers. I think they are awesome!

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I want Moon-young wardrobe! Other than Cheon Song Yi's wardrobe from My Love From The Star, this is the best I've seen in dramaland. The stylist did an amazing job dressing her.

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The recaps are coming in fast and I love it!
Thanks for the quick recap!!!

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That last pic of your recap though .. I love it!!

The epilogue, when Gi Dong said he always runs away from his father's man but he always ended up in the hospital. We saw that Kang-tae face fell. I thought that Gi Dong is like him. He always runaway to avoid the 'butterflies' but he ended up coming back to his hometown.

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The scene where GT was hugging Sang Tae oppa and he said that SG was enough, that he was okay and then he remembered Moon Young calling him "hypocrite", Gi Do's speech and then Gang Tae deciding to "play" with her made so much justice to the "It's Okay to Not Be Okay" title. And I love it.
Now I can see where this is really going -I think- and it looks promising. That kind of scenes make me forget other scenes that are pretty wrong (for the whole mental health concept) and THAT AHJUSSI BEING A SHITTI DOCTOR -like a month ago- IN FIND ME IN YOUR MEMORY.

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This drama is gorgeous. I LOVE everything about about MoYoung - her character, her voice, her clothes, everything. I find myself rooting for her even when she’s being a complete brat. Not just rooting, cheering her on. I guess it’s refreshing to see a character that has so many dimensions. I’m all in just for her.

2020 is so contradictory. I’ve been in kdrama drought for about 4 years now, watching one per year but now it’s raining kdramas for me - it started with a piece of your mind, then unfamiliar family, mystic pop up bar and now it’s okay to not be okay! I can’t believe it.

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Kwon Gi-don’s story was beautifully done. He looked so happy in the car and so sad talking about his family. I hope this jaunt helped him and didn’t hurt him.

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There were a few things I did not like about this episode and a bunch that I loved.
The negatives:
- The hospital director. Maybe is the fact that is the same actor who played the worst psychiatrist ever and that image is still fresh in my mind, but the character's behaviour and decision making in this episode are not helping his case either. I mean, why on earth you would put someone as problematic as MY in charge of therapy, with no supervision whatsoever, that's dumb and also not very professional.
- The therapy scene. That's not what a therapy (or art therapy) is at all. Not my favorite moment, period.
- The ghost thing. I don't like water spirits and such, am intrigued by the nightmares but it gave me the creeps so...
The positive:
- The hospital personnel (minus the director of course) and patients. I don't know what to think of JooRi yet but I like the grumpy caregiver and the gossipy nurse. I had to laugh out loud when she implied that his behaviour must be due to him having ODD, it reminded me of child psychopathology classes back in college. We don't know a lot about the patients' conditions yet, but it seems there is variability at least. Also I do not recall any other psychiatry-themed Kdrama that had an addict as a patient. One more thing... where are the doctors? That old man is not the only one, right?
- The patient of the week. I like KDY and he is perfectly annoying here, after all, its not his first time playing an over the top character with serious parental issues. That aside, am very pleased with the portrayal of his condition. After having KT proclaiming that MY 'was born that way' in the last episode, am glad to see that the show is acknowledging the influence of psychological and social factors in mental disorders and want to believe that's where we are heading with MY's character too, fingers crossed.
- Our leads. OMG, THIS is the way show! They are not in love, is obvious they will be eventually but, honestly, who cares, all that sexual tension is... electrifying. That 'I'm horny, I admit that' line was priceless, I hope there is a behind the scene cause we have to see KSH acting all dorky and akward hahaha.
-Sang Tae and Jae Su. I just love them, individually and together. OJS is doing a great job, his portrayal is very accurate. As for Jae Su, he is a really loyal friend and I want to know more about how that friendship was built.
-Joo Ri's mother. I just love that actress, and that dinner scene in the rooftop was very touching, specially knowing how the boys used to live.
Well that's pretty much all my thoughts about episode 3. It turn out longer that I expected.

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When she said she want him because he's pretty like a car,clothes,shoes, my first thought was she's got more issues than a magazine and so does he for that matter, he's so not okay even though he acts like he is . Everytime i see Moon kang tae, he looks to be on the verge of tears, even when he's smiling he looks like he's about to cry.

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Moon young might be the one with ASPD but I think Kang tae has more issues than her. At least she knows herself but he hides even from himself.

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Exactly. 100%.

Sometimes the ones who look perfectly fine and in control are the ones who’re likely to collapse sooner. So many times Kang-tae looks like he’s about to fall apart. Yet he slaps a smile on his face and pretends everything is just fine. And he’s done that his entire life. Even when he breaks down, it’s alone because once the moment is done, he’s back to his “okay” game face again.

I’m being a bit repetitive by now but I just love how realistic this drama it. It’s everything a kdrama usually isn’t lol.

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He obviously has issues. Depression, probably. And it would be the normal thing. I mean, he’s been the main supporter of his family, dealing with his brother is not easy, he’s given up his life, he doesn’t stay around enough time to have boundaries, only his brother and his one friend. It’s sad and heartbreaking to say the least. He has never allowed himself to think about him in the first place.

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Can I just say I laughed so hard at the little elephant icon covering Gi-do's *ahem* manly parts when he flashed her, then how the elephant's raised trunk collapsed in sadness when she commented on how it was a small cutie. OMG I DON'T EVEN HAHAHA.

I actually really liked that scene when Moon-young called Kang-tae a hypocrite (or perhaps more accurately, a person who puts up a nice front). That was such a pivotal shift in the dynamics between them, because she just laid bare his innermost thoughts, when he himself almost doesn't even realize them (or that he suppresses them). For all that she does so through seemingly "maniacal" ways, she sees through Kang-tae, just like she saw through Gi-do. She just doesn't let on that she does, and whilst I do believe she doesn't really "care" for people like Gi-do, she does have this detached, almost amoral way of "getting back" at the wrongs and injustices of life (an oxymoronic sentence, I do realize).

Through the above, I like how layered this drama has portrayed the main characters so far. Kang-tae is a nice person, but he has probably made a lot of personal sacrifices in the process of caring for his brother, to the extent of neglecting himself, and it is human nature to harbour some resentment for his life. It doesn't make him a bad person at all, but I can also understand that he struggles with the inner conflict and guilt within him for having those resentful thoughts, yet still genuinely wanting to care for his brother.

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What I don't understand is KT is obviously loved by both his brother and his friend JS who ups and leaves with him whenever they need to go. So why does KT still have a strong desire to be loved and by who? This is the only thing I don't understand.

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In America, most kids leave home at 18 to make it on their own, and come back for holidays and important family anniversaries. They can’t wait to get away from mommy and daddy, no matter how much they are loved. So it’s hard to explain, but it’s uniquely Korean drama’s thing, for a fully grown men to still suffer from countless “mommy (or daddy) didn’t love me enough in childhood” issues.
In defense of KT’s “missing mom’s love” case, his mother was brutally murdered when he was a pre-teen, and the memory of her giving more love to his brother is still a painful episode in his life that needs to be resolved, somehow.

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It's so easy to take things that you've always had for granted. For example, I get so touched when someone says nice things about me but often forget compliments from my family. Family is your "given". We often forget that they do count.

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I think KT has a lot of repressed desires. He doesn't fight back when the first hospital tells him he's fired, and he lets the mayor candidate slap him without hitting him back. It seems like he's lived his life for his brother, and unavoidably there's some resentment there that he's never tried to process or give himself room to feel. Possibly, he desires a love that is outside of his caregiver role where he needs to constantly be on eggshells. In effect, self-actualisation.

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I'm not sure about that. My problem with KT is that he's not fully accepting of the love and gratitude he receives but prefers to see himself as the 'victim'. I'm not saying his mother hasn't given him reason to feel that way but I'm sure she never made him feel completely unloved either. His repressed emotions are also his own choice or so I feel. Being a caregiver or having an autistic brother doesn't mean he can't let out his emotions. He's either punishing himself or from my point of view 'playing victim' for some reason.

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I guess I'm very defensive of KT because he reminds me very much of myself. And this type of comment we always hear and feel like, just be happy, it's your own fault, just pull yourself up and stop hurting. As with any mental illness, it's all about your perspective and what something means for you. To most people, KT should just stop whining and be happy with his life, but to him, he is very much trapped with little hope of getting out or anything changing. And that is very much scary and depressing.
Now I'm not aware how many times KT has tried at soliciting love from others, but to feel that he can fully let go, with everything he has to take care of being taken care of AND him being taken care of is a big ask. Especially if you have zero proof that it can actually happen. And it hurts when people demand that you just have faith that happiness and acceptance will just come, when you're just trying your best to get by. It just becomes easier to handle everything yourself, and not burden others with silly requests like your own desires, only to be disappointed when they fail to deliver.
Many will jeer at KT and tell him just to go with Joo-Ri, but he's been just middling his whole life. Resigning to do that with JR could very well make it worse.

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I agree! What I truly appreciate about this show is that all the characters wrestle with really difficult dilemmas or mental health issues - and that's why we relate to them or even feel intense discomfort. Sometimes a person feels afraid to even hope, because that just gets dashed anyway. There's a theory that hope is one of the parasites in the movie Parasite, and I see that play out in Kangtae when the camera pans on him looking at himself in the mirror hopelessly or expressionlessly.

That being said, this is all subjective. And that's what's great about this show, it really doesn't tell the viewer what the right thing to think is.

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You are right on point, in my opinion. KT chose to feel like a victim, no one stops him from moving on from the sad childhood episode. He is a self-reliant, healthy, smart man who holds a nurse certificate but must be on the run every 11? months because of ... butterflies. They bother his brother, I guess. We will come to learn why. Maybe. We can’t question writer’s rational for her characters’ feelings and action because they are ... brilliant, no matter how stupid they seem. BTW: The constant victimhood of children by the hands of cruel, unloving, abusive, murderous parents is another very popular Kdrama’s trope. When we find normal, loving, just your everyday parents and family relationships in any Kdrama, we jump for joy.

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Somehow, dramas about mental illness give me uncomfortable feeling, because I have zero knowledge about it and don't know what to make of it. Watching ep 3, I found myself having mixed feelings about Moon Young, while I can understand that she is unstable, I find myself more annoyed with her behavior.

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