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It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Episode 9

Our selfless hero is finally letting himself be happy, step by step. And once he lets a little happiness seep in, it all comes pouring in at once. There’s no more holding back, no more running away; just complete freedom. With that freedom, however, there comes the worry that he’s leaving someone important behind.

 
EPISODE 9: “King donkey ears”

After a split decision, an excited Kang-tae asks Moon-young to go on a trip together. But as soon as they’re in the car, he seems to lose all his energy. Moon-young warns him that he better not be regretting his actions, and he nervously laughs.

She suggests they go somewhere exotic, like the Serengeti, but she’s shocked to find out he doesn’t have a passport. “Did you come from the stars or something?” she asks (heh). She settles for an overnight trip, only to get frustrated when he insists on bringing Sang-tae.

Having had enough, she steps on the gas and threatens to crash them into a nearby pier. He shouts her name, and she stops just in time, her face stone cold. She doesn’t want to deal with him right now, so she orders him to get out of the car.

So Moon-young abandons Kang-tae by the water, cursing as she drives off. And Kang-tae watches her, smiling to himself. Later, he joins Jae-soo for lunch and tells him that he wants to start having fun. He asks that Jae-soo look after Sang-tae tomorrow, and Jae-soo agrees like the good friend he is.

At OK Hospital, Director Oh and Joo-ri’s mom chat while they eat lunch with Sang-tae. Mom doesn’t understand why Kang-tae punched someone, and Director Oh points out that he used to beat people up when they bothered her. Hee, he had a one-sided crush on her when they were younger.

Director Oh is suddenly called to the lounge, where Ah-reum and her family are. Her family is furious that her ex-husband managed to find her here, and they want her discharged immediately. To everyone’s surprise, Director Oh just lets them go; he sees no reason to fight against the family’s wishes.

Jung-tae is, of course, devastated when he finds out that Ah-reum has been dragged away. But his friends remind him that he can’t make a fuss, otherwise people will know that he and Ah-reum are a couple.

That night, Moon-young finds Sang-tae watching his favorite cartoon Dooly the Little Dinosaur. Still peeved from earlier, she says that she prefers the character Gil-dong because he gave his friends a place to stay.

Sang-tae likes Gil-dong too, as he’s the caregiver of the show, so Moon-young thinks they should be best buddies. And Sang-tae seems to love this idea, beaming at the word “buddies.” (The actual word she uses is kind of hard to translate; kind of like “two peas in a pod.”)

Kang-tae then arrives and asks to speak with Moon-young alone. The couple relocate to the balcony, a little awkward with each other. Moon-young huffs that it’s ridiculous Kang-tae made such a fuss when they can only have fun for one day. But Kang-tae says, “One day is more than enough for me. I dreamt of that day for my entire life.” He asks if she’ll go on that trip tomorrow, looking like a hopeful kid, and she sighs.

Moon-young notes that Kang-tae always seems to be taming her. He chuckles and says that it’s more like the opposite; he keeps doing things he wouldn’t normally do because of her, like punching Ah-reum’s ex. He thinks he must’ve been crazy to do that, but she thinks he was amazing. He looks at her with this intensity and slowly leans in — making the unflusterable Moon-young actually flustered. Their lips are mere inches apart and then…

A deer cries in the distance, LOL. The couple jump away from each other, and Kang-tae says a quick goodnight before hurrying out. Moon-young looks out at the forest, cursing the deer for ruining their moment. She even screams back, like she did once before.

Meanwhile, Joo-ri and Seung-jae have drinks up on their roof. Joo-ri’s mind is still on today’s events, and Seung-jae tries to be nice by saying that Joo-ri is way too good for Kang-tae. Joo-ri smiles and agrees that Kang-tae doesn’t have much to offer.

“I must’ve thought I could be the one to fill up his empty life,” Joo-ri says. Seung-jae assures her that she’ll find her guy eventually. Around the corner, on the staircase, an eavesdropping Sang-in thinks to himself that Seung-jae is finally doing her money’s worth.

The next day, at OK, the patients sit through music therapy and we see Park Ok-ran staring at Go Dae-hwan the whole time. Afterwards, Director Oh takes Dae-hwan out to chat, expressing interest in Moon-young’s class.

Dae-hwan says that Moon-young is just like her mother — fooling everyone with an angel’s face when there’s really a demon inside. Director Oh thinks that there is good and bad in everyone, but Dae-hwan snaps that his wife was a monster, that she killed someone. In turn, he admits, he killed her… or at least, he thought he did.

Inside, Nurse Park is looking through the book The Murder of the Witch of the West by Do Hui-jae (Moon-young’s mother). Ok-ran appears and snatches the book away, giving Nurse Park a paper cut. “See?” Ok-ran says, her tone dark. “That’s because you touched something that wasn’t yours. I really hate that.”

At the mansion, Kang-tae tells Sang-tae that he’ll be going out today (without delving into any details). Sang-tae is still in his good mood, announcing that he and Moon-young are buddies now, just like Kang-tae and Jae-soo. Aww.

Once Sang-tae is occupied, Kang-tae heads over to Moon-young’s room to see if she’s ready. He sighs to see that she’s severely overdressed, and she sighs to see that he overpacked. She pulls him close and tells him that she’s all he’ll be needing on this trip. That intensity between them returns, until his phone rings.

It’s Director Oh, wanting to meet with Kang-tae for something. But first, Kang-tae wonders what the psychology is behind a person who wears outrageous clothing. Director Oh says that it’s most likely a way for them to protect themselves, like armor. So, knowingly, Director Oh urges him to take good care of Moon-young.

Director Oh then says that he’s starting to wonder if Kang-tae was right — maybe Moon-young is afraid of her mother. He doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but it is possible that the mom is still alive. And if she is, she’ll probably seek out her husband and daughter.

While Moon-young waits at home, she asks Sang-tae questions about Kang-tae, like what kind of girls he likes. She muses that she should show Kang-tae a good time, and Sang-tae blurts out that she’s not allowed to hang out with his little brother. If she wants to hang out with someone, it should be him, since they’re besties now.

Moon-young notes that Sang-tae really adores his brother, and she’s curious to know if there was ever a time he hated him. Sang-tae stops what he’s doing but doesn’t answer. Moon-young tells him to spill, reminding him of the story King Donkey Ears (about a character who spilled the king’s secret). But still, Sang-tae remains silent.

Jae-soo takes Sang-tae back to the apartment, giving Kang-tae and Moon-young the chance to sneak off. Kang-tae drives them over to the mountains, their first stop being a super long bridge that is giving me anxiety just by looking at it.

Moon-young is legitimately scared to cross, making Kang-tae laugh, but she’s willing when she learns that this is something Kang-tae is unable to do with Sang-tae. She goes slowly, leaning on the railing and singing a song to distract herself. He tells her to stop, though, because her singing voice is scary. Haha, it really is.

On the other side, the couple take a break, with Moon-young insisting on getting some pictures together. And Moon-young has to cheese extra hard to get a genuine smile out of Kang-tae. But then Kang-tae gets a surprise phone call from Jung-tae, learning that he and Ah-reum ran off together and are somewhere nearby.

Apparently, Pil-wong (Director Oh’s friend and personal spy) had given up his day out to give it to Jung-tae. Jung-tae asks that Kang-tae pay for their guest room, since he spent all his money on the taxi ride here.

Jung-tae tries to guilt trip Kang-tae, saying the couple wouldn’t be separated if Kang-tae hadn’t punched Ah-reum’s ex and gotten her discharged. Can’t they spend at least one night together? Kang-tae starts to argue, but a smiling Moon-young comes up and states that she’s already paid for two rooms — one for them.

Kang-tae pulls Moon-young aside, reminding her that he can’t spend the night. But she points out that the couple might elope and that “your rationality can never win against your desires.” It’s his duty, she says, to look after them. He doesn’t want to work off the clock, but one look back at the couple and he caves.

Over dinner, Joo-ri and the apartment gang wonder what Kang-tae and Moon-young are up to this late. Seung-jae mindlessly wonders if the two are together, and oh boy, the silence that washes over the room. (Sang-tae looks hurt at the mere thought of this possibility.) To break the tension, Joo-ri’s mom sends Joo-ri and Sang-in out for more beer.

On the walk back, Joo-ri gives Sang-in a reluctant compliment, saying she understands why Moon-young has partnered with him for so long. But Sang-in replies that it’s the other way around and that he’s the one who’s been sticking around her. “Because she can’t be left alone,” he explains. “She’s very lonely, but she doesn’t want people to know that, so she pushes them away.”

Joo-ri gets teary-eyed, saying that Moon-young and Kang-tae are a lot alike; that must be why they like each other. Sang-in says that there are many reasons why someone falls in love, like say, their crush getting drunk and slapping them. They laugh, with Sang-in’s final input being that Kang-tae must have his own reasons.

Back at the guest lodge, Kang-tae braces himself before calling Sang-tae and informing him that he won’t be back tonight. When he rejoins Moon-young, she notes that he’s acting as if he’s cheating on his wife.

Kang-tae just feels guilty because Sang-tae was so happy to call Moon-young his bestie. Their mom always wished for Sang-tae to have just one friend who could understand him. Moon-young says that she had a friend like that — and we cut to Joo-ri in her room, taking out one of Moon-young’s books.

Moon-young tells the story of how she and Joo-ri met: In elementary school, Joo-ri was scared of her classmates because they bullied her. But the classmates were scared of Moon-young, so they stopped their ridiculing whenever she was around. This prompted Joo-ri to initiate a sweet friendship with her.

The girls became pretty close, but after some time, Moon-young realized that Joo-ri wanted more than one friend. Moon-young didn’t like that, so she harassed all the other kids in hopes that they would ignore Joo-ri. Moon-young’s plan worked, but instead of winning Joo-ri back, Joo-ri became scared of Moon-young herself.

Moon-young tells Kang-tae, “A friend who truly understands you doesn’t exist.” Kang-tae urges her to make up with Joo-ri, but she doesn’t see the need to when she has him and Sang-tae. She moves closer, and his panic sends him falling to the ground. Uh-oh… the drinks they were sipping on had heavy amounts of alcohol.

Later, in their room, Kang-tae is red-cheeked drunk and giggling that he has fun when he’s with Moon-young. Unable to hold back, Moon-young moves toward him again. We cut to Jung-tae and Ah-reum being cutesy outside, unaware of the ruckus going on in the room behind them.

Cut back to inside, with Kang-tae now hovering over Moon-young, holding her down. When she attempts to kiss him, he pulls her to his chest and rolls them into bed. He tells her to stop and go to sleep, and she cutely mumbles that she’d fall asleep faster if he caressed her hair.

Kang-tae does as she asks and holds her like that until she’s asleep. Eventually, he untangles himself and sits across the room. “I told you that I can no longer hold myself back,” he says, staring at her. “I guess I can’t run away anymore.”

It looks like Sang-tae was waiting up for Kang-tae all night. By morning, he’s asleep at his desk and shaking due to a nightmare. He whimpers for Kang-tae not to leave him and then jolts awake, tears streaming down his face. We then see the drawing he was working on — him, Kang-tae, and Moon-young riding in a camping car.

At the same time, Moon-young wakes up in the guest lodge alone. She heads outside to find Kang-tae and is relieved to see that he’s coming toward her, his hands behind his back. He explains that he wanted to get what he couldn’t give her before, revealing a little bouquet of flowers. She smiles and says that they’re pretty, and he tells her, “So are you.” So without holding back, he leans in and kisses her.

Moon-young’s smile grows even bigger, and Kang-tae starts laughing with giddiness. He sees the young version of her, finally accepting his flowers and, naturally, his feelings.

They return to the guest lodge, holding hands, and are surprised to find Jung-tae without Ah-reum. He admits that earlier that morning, he and Ah-reum planned to run away (with the extra money Moon-young secretly left them).

But in the end, Jung-tae didn’t feel right. When the lodge owner offered them drinks last night, he realized that he isn’t fully recovered. Ah-reum was heartbroken, but Jung-tae reassured her that he would get better on his own and come back to her.

Kang-tae and Moon-young drive Jung-tae back to OK, the poor guy crying in the backseat. When they drop him off, Moon-young states that he was foolish for letting Ah-reum go. Kang-tae says he did it because he loves her, but Moon-young thinks that’s bullshit.

“I’ll never let you go,” Moon-young tells Kang-tae. He jokes that they never know what will happen (and, Show, this better not be foreshadowing). He leaves her in the car to make a quick trip inside and check on Sang-tae.

Meanwhile, Jung-tae tells Pil-wong all about his trip, mentioning the fact that Kang-tae and Moon-young showed up together. He even jokes that the couple could have a double wedding with him and Ah-reum. And unfortunately, Cha-yong overhears this and has to spread the news.

Cha-yong finds Dr. Kwon Min-suk in the bathroom and tells him what he heard as well. Though, Cha-yong doesn’t have his story straight, as he gossips that Kang-tae and Moon-young were on a trip together because they’re getting married. The two workers freeze when someone comes out of a stall — Sang-tae.

Kang-tae is at Sang-tae’s painting station, looking at Sang-tae’s sketchbook and his most recent drawing. But then Sang-tae appears in front of him and blurts out, “Hyung told you not to lie.”

Sang-tae asks Kang-tae who he likes more, him or Moon-young, which is right when Moon-young walks into the lounge. Moon-young, and everyone else, stare up at the staircase as Sang-tae gets more heated. He yells at Kang-tae to answer his question, and nervous, Kang-tae answers that of course he likes him more.

Sang-tae looks past Kang-tae’s forced smile and into his eyes, throwing water at him and calling him fake. Kang-tae tries to apologize, but then Sang-tae repeats the words that were said years ago: “‘I wish Hyung would just die!’ You said that.”

Sang-tae breaks down in tears, saying that that’s why Kang-tae left him for dead at the river that day. He runs down the steps, shouting to the whole building that Kang-tae wants him dead, that he’s trying to kill him.

Everyone watches not knowing what to do, Moon-young herself shedding a tear. And completely broken, Kang-tae collapses to the ground. He sobs to Sang-tae, and almost to himself, that what Sang-tae is saying isn’t true.

 
COMMENTS

My god. That ending was, by far, the hardest thing to watch. I mean, it almost made me uncomfortable, with how real and raw it felt. We all know Kim Soo-hyun can break some hearts, and boy has he, but Oh Jung-se is a freaking revelation. Together, the two actors are nothing short of magic. Then adding Seo Ye-ji’s sad yet helpless reaction on top of that, it’s magic times ten. I’ve said it before, but I really have to commend this cast; it’s been quite a while since I felt this strongly for fictional characters.

When we first learned of Kang-tae’s horrible secret, I was wondering if Sang-tae actually understood what happened and if he held a grudge. I was thinking it, but I didn’t expect it to come around and hit us like this. Even when Moon-young asked Sang-tae when he most hated Kang-tae and I knew it was that day, I didn’t expect him to bring it up. I guess Kang-tae wasn’t the only one holding his feelings in. Sang-tae’s strong attachment to his brother, his refusal to give him away to Moon-young, suddenly makes complete sense to me. Sang-tae saw his brother walk away from him and he’s scared that it’s going to happen again. Now that I think about it, the overall theme this episode was loneliness — the way it affects our characters and the things they will do to fight it. And Moon-young doesn’t even know how right she was in saying that she and Sang-tae are alike. All they want is to latch onto the people they care about, so that they’re not left behind.

Moon-young’s tears in that last scene really surprised me. She’s been selfish since the day we met her, going after what she wants without considering others’ feelings. But in that last scene, I saw genuine heartbreak for someone else, for someone she’s maybe come to care about more than herself. The drama hasn’t discussed Moon-young’s disorder in detail (and I’ll admit, I’m disappointed by that), so I do feel weird trying to dissect her as a character. But just going off what I know and what I’ve seen, I think that she’s always had emotions and that they were pushed down by her mother. She’s starting to experience them now, for the first time, and I can’t imagine how overwhelming that must be. It has to be overwhelming all across the board, from sadness and sympathy to happiness and love. The moments where she’s feeling love, it almost reminds me of the freshness of youth/high school dramas. She truly is young at heart, and it makes me worry that any pain coming her way will hit like a bulldozer.

Another interesting point made was with understanding. Joo-ri’s been hit-or-miss for me, being sweet and real one episode and then kind of throwaway funny another. But this episode, I appreciated seeing her full flashback with Moon-young and getting a good feel for how she thinks. Again, like Moon-young and Sang-tae, Joo-ri was traumatized by her loneliness. She was so traumatized by her own experiences that she never thought to consider it from Moon-young’s perspective. It’s difficult, obviously, for both women to understand each other when they’re so different. So I liked that Joo-ri at least gave Moon-young’s book a read. Going forward, I hope she tries to understand and accept Moon-young for who she is. Kang-tae, I believe, is already there — Kang-tae sees through Moon-young and she sees through him. For her, it was in Episode 4 when she saw his desire to be loved, and for him, it was when he gave her the flowers. It’s an unspoken kind of understanding that is both rare and beautiful.

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WTF is wrong with this hospital!? Someone, do something! OMG, Hyung, you remembered it all wrong. Kang-tae did not push you into the river. You fell yourself!! "You left me alone in the water and ran away." YOU LEFT HIM!!! Is Director Oh doing Gi-do-style psychotherapy by letting Sang-tae talk out his feelings in public? But please not at the expense of my poor Kang-tae. 😭 I knew it was only a matter of time before "Who do you like more? Me or Go Moon-young?" but I had figured Kang-tae would be the one asking this question like he always does, but this time, Sang-tae would answer, "You like Author Go Moon-young."

I love that despite the fact that Moon-young tries to jump his bones every episode, she actually gets bashful any time Kang-tae is sincere with her because of how much she genuinely likes loves him. After Kang-tae kissed her, Moon-young didn't throw herself at him or pull him in for another kiss like she did to a drunken Kang-tae the night before. On the contrary, she felt so touched by his confession that her voice quavered as she said, "They're beautiful." (Then he became all swoony with his "So are you." Swoooon.) On the balcony, Moon-young looked visibly nervous, swallowing hard when Kang-tae tried to kiss her. Moon-young has always put up a strong front to protect herself, but she lets down her defenses whenever she's with Kang-tae. Although she reverts back to it in their car by threatening him again, "If you're late, I'll kill you," but like Sang-in told Joo-ri, this lonely Moon-young who yearns to be loved is the real Moon-young. Are Kang-tae's flowers magnolias, by chance?

The preview for Episode 9 got me through this week. (Thank you, tvN, for not spoiling both kisses!) I loop-watched it daily, so I'm beyond crushed they cut this shot from the episode. Besides its beautiful aerial cinematography, I love how Moon-young conquered her fear of the Shaky Bridge by bravely running to him and Kang-tae went back for her almost breaking into a run at the end. I wish Kang-tae had held Moon-young's hand in crossing the bridge after she admitted she was scared. She even wore tennis shoes for him instead of her "armor" stilettos because he asked her to wear comfortable shoes. Director Oh is the captain of our MoonMoon ship.

Thanks a million for the recap, @SailorJumun!

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I know right someone give poor Kang-tae a hug or like a pat! He was nearly having a panic attack and they're just watching it all burn down like its some reality show. I think society is oddly portrayed as apathetic and punitive in this drama which is weird idk...

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Yeah same thing happened when MY’s father choked her, she was lying on the floor and literally no one asked her if she was okay or tried to help her up

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its so weird

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When Ah-reum's ex-husband slapped Moon-young to the ground, no one came to her rescue except for Kang-tae.

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hahahaaa yes. I think the hospital staff need some serious disciplining its so odd. Although someone (I'm so sorry I can't remember who) speculated last week in the comments that nurse Park Haeng-Ja may be involved with or know smth about Moon-young's past and her mother...and that comment hasn't left my mind since. Idk if that has smth to do with everyone's apathy but I keep thinking back to that comment and speculation...

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Yes, I love how Moon-young gets bashful when Kang-tae's being sincere. Her voice quavering when she said "It's beautiful" was just perfect. I really love that scene. I've been playing it on TVN's Instagram over and over hihi

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The gossip nurse incident and Sang-tae's secret was a double reference to The King with Donkey Ears.
I thought it was a bit too convenient that the gossip led to Sang-tae's meltdown. (Wrong time to poop oppa lol).
Sang-tae oppa's big secret is based on his own interpretation and unreliable partial memory.
Kang-tae said it probably one time but he didn't push him.
I thought it shouldn't be a surprise to Moon-young after poking Sang-tae about it and mentioning the king with donkey ears.
I really think that Sang-tae got the lake incident and the story of the king with donkey ears mixed up The fact that he was holding his hands to his mouth and shouting is like he was interpreting the crown maker shouting the king's secret in bamboo forest.

When Moon-young and Sang-tae oppa are together, I swear they talk to each other like children.
The Dooly and friends conversation between them was hilarious.

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I thought it shouldn't be a surprise to Moon-young after poking Sang-tae about it and mentioning the king with donkey ears.

Moon-young knows she caused this. Moon-young's tears were because she knew this was happening because she told Oppa to not hold in his secret and why she couldn't go to Kang-tae because she felt guilty for putting him through this trauma. For the third time, Moon-young has indirectly healed someone. Yes, it was necessary for Sang-tae to release his pent-up emotions, but not like this. Not exposing his secret at Kang-tae's workplace in front of his hospital staff and patients. My poor boy has so much PTSD that even a lifetime of therapy can't fix.

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At first I was disappointed at the writer. With all the secrets in this drama why picked on the most vulnerable but I guess it had to happen for the 3 of them

Can we say that Moon-young is feeling some kind of remorse here? I would say so.

I read this article written by a 33 yr old gentleman with ASPD.
Such an eye-opener and it's different from reading some medical article on ASPD.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/life-with-antisocial-personality-disorder-aspd/

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Thank you for sharing! This is very enlightening. I was thinking initially that MY may have been misdiagnosed but she appears to have ASPD after all, at least by how it was described in this article.

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Thanks for sharing that article! :)

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@doublefault

Seo Ye-ji referred to Moon-young as someone with antisocial disorder or personality disorder in most if not all of her interviews.
She also added that Moon-young is extremely unique.

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As the ones above, thank you very much for sharing this article. It makes understanding MY so much deeper.

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I'm actually quite touched by how much MY relates with ST oppa. I want them to be besties forever. I love their petty disagreements. Their "meetings" are hilarious, especially when MY walks out on him when she is irked by what he says, such as when he brought up how much he liked her long hair. 😂 I think she reads him better than KT does.

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I am actually really annoyed with PD/ writer on their potrayal of the hospital staffs. Their unresponsiveness of the situation is unprofessional. This is a repetition to the scene when MY was choked by her dad in full view of many staff. There's also the case of the abusive ex-husband having access to their patient. I feel they prioritise the so-called style/dramatic effect over substance. I wish they have more confidence on the strength of the story and message to not over embellish the scene.

In any case, KSH and OJS nailed that scene. I absolutely feel the heartbreak and anguish from both brothers.

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Actually, Ahreum agreed to see her ex-husband.
The head nurse also tried to intervene between ST and KT, but Director OH stopped her.
The only unprofessional one is that gossiping nurse (and unfortunately there are plenty of people like him in the real world) who is also bad at his job-Ahreum's ex managed to drag her out because this idiot stumbled and couldn't catch up to them.

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yeah they should have stopped them after Sangtae throwing water at Kangtae. idk maybe give them space to talk privately. or stopped Sangtae when he going around yelling that his brother tried to kill him. this scene going on my hard to watch list along with Jung Somin on Hundred Million Stars from the Sky

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God, that ending. So utterly heartbreaking but brilliantly portrayed by Kim Soo Hyun, Oh Jung Se and Seo Ye Ji. In fact, this scene alone should qualify the cast and show for their respective Baeksang nominations. The ratings may not be stellar (not anyone’s fault but the audience) but literally everything else about the show is on point.

It’s so frustrating that Sang Tae’s breakdown came literally moments after Kang Tae and Moon Young finally confirmed their relationship and resolved their childhood misunderstandings but good moments like those never do last long in kdramas. What makes it worse is the reasoning behind Sang Tae going berserk is quite convoluted and unless someone really sits down with him to make him understand that Kang Tae is not exclusively bound to him, he’ll never make any progress from his past trauma. Somehow, though, I have a feeling that Moon Young will be the one to finally help him learn that. All in good time, I guess.

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To be fair to Sang Tae, Kang Tae did lie to him. Kang Tae needs to sit down and talk to him. That way the lies don't bother him too much, however I do agree with your assessment.

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Yes it would be good if he let himself be authentic with his big brother. Sang Tae carries a lot of wisdom (as most people on the autism spectrum do) but everyone seems to think he is mentally deficient.
I do hope at some point Sang Tae is going to tell his little brother to 'get a life' and stop babying him.
At least I hope that will happen as I can see the big brother doing that.

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I think Sang-tae is very proud to be Kang-tae's hyung.
Maybe he sees his little brother as his responsibility when he says that Kang-tae belongs to Sang-tae.
He is saving his money to buy a camp car because he knows that he doesn't like moving so many times.

The way he compare himself to Ko Kil-dong as Dooly and his friends' guardian is the same way he sees himself as Kang-tae's guardian.

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@kiara
exactly - but Kang-Tae doesn't see it that way.

Oh the growth between these two is going to be painful, but sorely needed.

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Yes...it was touching how he said he likes Gil-Do as it's clear that in his world view Sang Tae, the hyung is GT's guardian. It's quiet ironic that he views GT as his life long responsibility while the world and GT views them the other way around.
He is worried that his younger sibling is not on the right path what with all the lies and gets frustrated as a parent would with a constantly lying child. But then this relationship dynamic clashes with his actual emotional reliance on GT and the scarring abandonment issues he has thanks to the lake incident and mom's death. I was dreading him throwing young GT's frustrated words back at him, as we have been shown time and again that ST has perfect recall of spoken words. The nightmare on the previous night, GT's unavailability, and others words of GT and MY's growing closeness..It was a perfect storm
P.S. It was soo cute how he said he adores his dongsaeng and admired how pretty his eyes are!No disagreements there oppa from MY and us viewers.

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@stpauligurl, @ashes2ashes
I appreciate all of these children stories in the form of folktales, children's cartoon, MY's books.
Sang-tae is obsessed with them because he can relate.

Sang-tae can do more for Kang-tae if he allows him to.
I hope he'll learn to trust his hyung more. He'd be surprise at how much he is capable of.

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What I found interesting is that MY characterized Dooly and his friends as I guess ungrateful troublemakers. I wonder if ST, in identifying as Ko Kil-dong, thinks of KT in a similar way, if he (ST) has to be a guardian and accept KT for all his misdeeds - the lying, because it’s clear KT has a habit of doing this and promising it won’t happen again. On that note, in one of the interviews KSH is introducing his character in, he calls KT someone who is prone to lying.

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Yep. He's said this before, "Lying is bad." He hates it when Gang-tae lies to him. I think it hurt him more that both of them lied than finding out they are in a relationship. Because they lied to him, he feels excluded and he concludes that Sang-tae will abandon him eventually. It's also double the pain coz his new best friend lied to him too.

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Right now I think that Kang-tae doesn't think of it as "lying" per se, but really protecting his brother.
And THAT will need to stop ASAP for them to really start healing their relationship as brothers.

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Which is frustrating. These are not things he needs to protect Sang-tae from. Sang-tae wants to be the older brother and be the one to protect Gang-tae. Like you said, if they dont stop this, nothing will happen. They'll forever be walking on eggshells around each other.

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I think KT is also trying to protect this fragile new thing he's starting as well, and so that's why he lies. But what's so frustrating is that a) he doesn't have to (as you others here have mentioned) and b) we've already had an incident where he's lied to ST, ST catches him out and tells him how much lying hurts him. Just...don't lie, KT! Or is it because you still need to lie to yourself for some reason? I feel for them both.

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@CBme
But KT is also not obligated to tell ST every single detail of his romantic affairs. That's his private life too and he has the right to keep that info to himself if he wants to..

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@옹
I completely agree. Why are people blaming Kang-tae? Their relationship isn't even a day old. They literally got together that morning. At least give Kang-tae time to tell his hyung. He hasn't even told his best friend Jae-soo (who does nothing but tell him to stay away from that "psycho"). At this point, the only people who know Kang-tae likes Moon-young is Joo-ri and omniscient Joo-ri's mom.

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Agreed. The roles of Hyung and best friend are very important to him and the lying calls into question the authenticity of these relationships. Though it's Kang-tae's way of protecting him from a reality he doesn't believe Sang-tae could handle, that actively segregates Sang-tae from the valued position he desperately wants in their lives, as someone who looks after them and as someone who can be trusted.

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Yes! It almost makes him a stranger when he's supposed to know these things. Finding someone you love is a big thing and a good thing you'd want to share with people you love. I'd be hurt too if I was Sang-tae. It hurts more because Gang-tae keeps these things from him because of his condition.

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Maybe Kang-Tae doesn't see Sang-Tae as an older brother, but more of a child that he needs to protect.
And therein lies the problem.....

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I thinks that was the point. The fact that KT thought that he was protecting ST by lying when it was the other way round. In fact, KT has lied to ST lots of time "for his sake" and every time he does, we see ST reaction when he finds out. This has been happening all their life, I guess.
There must be some truth in a lie to make it believable and there was nothing in KT lie that made it believable.
Also, I need to talk about KT facial expression and smile when he told ST he loved him more than MY. I was totally shocked because I could clearly see that he was lying. No wonder ST went mad.

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Yes, to all of this. KT lies to protect himself. He remembers almost letting his brother drown and then consequences after that. He isn't lying to protect his brother even though that is what he tells himself. ST is very self aware. He understands that he can't do everything himself, but he also wants to help. He knows he is different, but not so different that he can't also protect his brother. KT just needs to give his brother a chance.

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@kafiyah-bello
Sang-Tae may be the most 'whole' one of the three of them right now.

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it was written all over his face that he was not being truthful when he said he likes sang tae more than moon young. i'm sure it doesn't mean he likes her more than his hyung, but both of them mean a lot to him.

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He certainly did not love MY more. Just as Lee Sang In explains it to MY, It is a different kind of love, love for your sibling vs love for a romantic interest. But how is he going to explain it to ST at that moment? He was just caught totally off guard and hurled against the wall😓😓

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Agree on the ending! Ooof, that last 3 minutes packed a punch. KT’s reaction as ST accused him of wanting to kill him was devastating. Watching a person completely collapse in pain just rips your heart out and KSH did it soooooooooo well. No lie, I was howling with him.

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@sailorjumun thanks for your super fast review! I sort of like how Moon-young's personality disorder is left to viewer's interpretations...it makes it a lot more organic. Especially when real-life manifestations of psychological traits and characteristics are more unique and on a spectrum and less likely to follow the dsm bible. On another note, I thought Moon-young's story as a lonely princess was going to break my heart. On the contrary though I have lost count how many times has Gang-tae's story made me cry. I think his acting amplifies it all. Something about his mundane life and his raw ability to portray someone so vulnerable, so flawed, and so in need of love is heartbreaking and something I can relate to. That ending was the most difficult to watch moment in kdrama I've seen in a while and for that reason exactly I never want to relive it thank you very much...

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Also, Moon-young defn always had emotions. Individuals with aspd or psychopathy don't lack emotions. Because they possess deficits in empathizing, they simply have a hard time identifying and deciphering emotions they and others feel. Because she was an outcast and most of her early interactions with society were with her mom, this likely amplified her existing condition. That's why Kang-tae and her manager are constantly spelling emotions out to her because sort of like an obscurial who doesn't know how to identify or channel magic in the harry potter world, she doesn't know how to channel or identify emotions. And due to deficits in empathy, remorse is sort of out of the picture by default. If she has primary psychopathy, she will likely never "feel" empathy as she might have inherited brain deficits in the areas which allow comprehension of facial expression and identification of emotions on others and so her "learning of empathy" will only be practiced similar to Sang-tae but never truly felt. If its secondary psychopathy (colloquially known as sociopathy) then she might have have learned the behaviour of not empathizing with others due to childhood circumstances involving her parents and she may eventually actually be able to empathize. This is my take on the drama and what I observe so far.

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i think i know what you mean about kang tae's pain hitting harder, and i think it's bc moon young has always taken an offensive approach in coping with her trauma, fighting it tooth and nail and growing a thick skin in the process, whereas kang tae willfully lets himself get beaten down again and again and again. he is that kid, who just sits there and takes it all. there is little to no fight in him, and that makes him seem more vulnerable to us, like a large part of him is still anchored by that ten year old little boy, who yearned for love and warmth. only now, he is resigned himself to the fact that he can never have it.

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omgsh yes exactly as you describe. At least Moon-young feels the liberation of expressing herself honestly...mostly. Kang-tae lets his inner turmoil fester in a dark, ugly mess. And we all know how much we looove watching Kim soo-hyun swallow emotions and ugly cry. I feel like a sadist describing this but like this casting was on point and really makes me feel Kang-tae on another level.

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Genuinely can’t remember KSH playing a character that’s not grounded or relatable on some level. Even when he played a King or an Alien I still **got** him, if you know what I mean.

He has the power to amplify a character and make the audience really feel his emotions down to the core. I was so attached to his producers character for this reason. That character was such an odd ball and I def don’t know anyone in real life like that. Yet, from ep1, I got him and his character.

Sorry completely random comment but I think I’m on a KSH high right now haha. I’m thinking I care about Kang Tae’s happiness more than mine at this point 🤪

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yea think he really earned his fame. lol can't blame you there he's gorgeous. i would go check out my love from another star again if i didnt already have it memorized 😝

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"I’m thinking I care about Kang Tae’s happiness more than mine at this point"

you are not alone there lol

also, baek seungchan is the most precious little bean. before IOTNBO, seungchan and song sam dong were my favorite kim soo hyun performances.

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MLFTS is literally the best drama to ever be made lol. I became a fan back then and recite some scenes in my sleep 🤪 Though, I don’t remember being this high on KSH. It must be the after effects of that final scene. At least I hope it is because this is not a state I’d permanently wish for myself 😂

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@dogemama yes! Baek Seung Chan was definitely KSH’s best performance in my books. He won so many awards for it and I think the impact of it was even greater due to Do Min Joon being his prior role. They were polar opposites and he took the risk of playing someone so “uncool”, if you will. I think Sam Dong is my 3rd favourite after Seung Chan and Min Joon. But Kang Tae is slowly displacing most of my fav character list. It’s a bit of a dilemma 🤪

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@penguin moon kang tae is coming for that #1, and i am absolutely okay with that!

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I get you on a spiritual level bro! I am intoxicated by the whatever drug KSH and his acting ability has produced. According to my sisters it has surpassed my goblin high days.
You're spot on about KSH never playing an unrelatable character. Each character is so unique, contrasting and sometimes so poised but all of them showed emotions that could be felt or sympathized from an audiences view.

BTW the other day I was coming up with ways Kang Tae can be happy, and I badly wanted to advice him over a phone call like I do with my best friend. Just imagining such a scenario was delightful.

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BTW penguin is my spirit animal and most people around me calls me by it as a nickname. I thought of it as my DB name but "playstore" won unanimously. I praise your profile name.

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I agree with your reading on KT. I think he has mentioned the word "miserable" thrice already in describing his life. I mentioned in another discussion as to how unfair it is for society to expect caretakers such as himself to always take it in and be steady and dependable at all times. I'm glad that we finally have a character like KT who is shown to be at the point of breaking because of how he perceives his role as a caretaker should be that it makes him think that being with MY is something that he does not deserve.

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yes. its unfortunate. this really makes me want to discuss ep 10 which touches more on this topic. i can't wait to continue this conversation there.

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oh, there is so much in episode 10. i can't wait to discuss either!

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ugh so much this. there's something he says in episode 10 that just kills me. i'll wait till the next recap to specify, but it's really so sad that he believes he doesn't deserve anything outside the scope of his role as his hyung's caretaker.

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Honestly I have never had this much conflicting emotions when it comes to human relationships in dramas. I want KT to be happy. To be his own person and not be held back from looking after ST. But I also think what I would have done had I been in KT’s shoes. Could I have abandoned my special needs sibling? Could I have been that selfish? There is truly no right or wrong in this situation. All I want is everyone to be happy as I go cry into my pillow after that heartbreaking scene 😢😢😢

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What matters, of course, is that Kang Tae came back. And he was what, eight years old maybe? He yelled for Sang Tae not to go on the thin ice. And if Moon Young hadn’t been there, Kang Tae would have died heroically rescuing his brother! Or not! This wasn’t an easy call for an adult, never mind a kid.

But Sang Tae is blending together the harsh words from earlier in the day, Kang Tae’s back as he started walking away, and losing the rest of the story (the part where he left Kang Tae in the water). I have to assume that Moon Young, who doesn’t lie, will eventually be able to provide Sang Tae with the eyewitness account he can trust.

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kang tae was incredibly brave that day, jumping into the icy water without a second thought after realizing he couldn't walk away from his brother. i too hope that sang tae will remember the full details of the event, if for nothing else, just so he knows how much his brother loves him.

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To think that KT was already responsible for ST when he was still a little boy right after his mom died. Even before that, KT is already being expected to be his brother's keeper. I am glad that through this drama, we are starting to ponder the questions that you raised without judgment.

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Being a caretaker is hard.
I've there myself when my mum was ill, and it's really hard. You need time to take a breath, but you don't have it. My situation was like that for three years, until she passed away. And when she left us, I was relieved because her pain and ours was over, and yet I had to learn to live with another kid of pain.
So I can understand partially KT, because his burden will be with him forever. And it's exhausting, specially because he can't share it with anyone. Of course he has JS, and I can't thank him enough for being there and be the one KT can lean on when he feels he can't cope anymore.

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that must have been so difficult. i hope you're being kind to yourself and taking care. *hugs*

i'm very grateful for jaesu. i know he's not fully fleshed out and is mostly used for comic relief, but i can't imagine how much more difficult kang tae would have it if he didn't have him. sharing a beer with jaesu is probably one of the only times kang tae gets to feel some relief.

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that last scene was one of the most horrifying things i've ever seen. i've rewatched all episodes several times, but i won't be able to sit through that scene again. nope. kang tae looked like he'd had the last shred of hope in him ripped out from his chest, like a physical force had knocked the wind out of him. it was especially difficult to watch him literally fall down and beg the hospital director and head nurse to believe him. he's lived his whole life trying to make up for his hesitation that day. what an absolute nightmare to realize that his brother has also lived with this scar in his heart all this time. kim soo hyun and oh jung se were PHENOMENAL, and elevated the already powerful writing. they are truly actors at the peak of their craft.

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just reading your words makes me choke up all over again, remembering the pain on his face while he huddled and wept against the wall.
Which was actually on point symbolically.

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Agreed. I watched this episode 2 times and both with much tears. They both are phenomenal!

On the other side, I am also suprised by MY tears too. I agreed with @sailorjumun on dissappointment about her disorder (the drama didn't peel enough on it).

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Omg ..I was silently willing someone anyone to go hug that poor man and magic him outta there..he was having an effing break down in the middle of a psychiatric facility and all every one did was stare...The way he kept looking at the doc and the nurse while barely murmuring hyung's name and repeating I didn't,folding hands in silent repentance..Oofff... After years and years of care to have your worst moment thrown at your face publicly by the very person you've worked so hard to accommodate all your life...that was beyonddd brutal....
Both OJS and KSH killed it

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I totally get you. I was rewatching the episode, and I just stopped the moment they got to the hospital. I don't think I can ever watch it again, tbh. In fact, I wasn't able to cry while watching because I was in shock and totally horrified by what I was watching and all the feelings I had.
That's how GOOD is that scene!!

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Omg same. I wasn't able to shed a single tear because I was totally horrified. It was so fcking hard to watch! Probably why everyone else wasn't able to react. Even now it feels like the whole scene happened right in front me and I still wouldn't be able to move a single muscle.

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People complain that the hospital staff didn’t do anything, and they are trained people, I get it. But I was just paralizad saying: this is not happening, this is not happening... I can understand why no one did anything.

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Right! Like damn it was so heavy

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Same. Ive re-watched most of the episodes except ST's breakdown in the hospital (last 3mins of ep9 and beginning of ep10). It was so heartbreaking it made me uncomfortable rewatching it.

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That ending was just operatic in terms of scale and emotion, really made my jaw drop. I like how fashion in this drama is really used to further characterization - MY's outfits aren't just cute or fashionable, they're also a reflection of her mental state. Speaking of which, she's just so intoxicating. I've never felt like this about a FL before, but she's just so, so mesmerizing. Seo yeji is making me feel things 😂
But yeah oh jung-se is really knocking it out of the park consistently with this (oppa status anyone? Just me?). I love sang-tae but obviously living with him ain't just a bowl of ice cream and sprinkles :/ there's some real conflict here and I'm ready to see where the show takes us.

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They have someone in charge of wardrobe and they did research for Sang-tae especially. I like how they said they had to keep washing Gang-tae's clothes to make them look worn out to reflect his feelings.

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That's intense! But also really amazing.

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Jo Sang Gyeong is doing a fantastic job as the stylist. I mentioned this in another discussion in that I appreciate that she, you know, mixes and matches outfits, accessories, and shoes and makes sure that it fits the character and the situation. She does not just puts a head to toe runway look automatically on SYJ. We have to commend Maeng also as the makeup artist. SYJ is already super pretty but how her make up is done here just elevates her to look to another level. The stylist, makeup artist, and SYJ continue to churn out back to back to back iconic looks.

And SYJ is indeed mesmerizing as KMY. It's a character that can easily become caricaturish, with the styling and all, at the hands of a less than capable actress. SYJ is able to breath life into KMY that makes the character so compelling and, like what you said, just so mesmerizing.

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"It's a character that can easily become caricaturish..." - that's exactly what I was thinking in the beginning of the show, actually! Will this character fall into a "template" pattern, but SJY is just killin' it. Her facial expressions, even the micro ones, the way she moves or even holds herself, it's amazing. It's like we're watching her thaw just by the way she uses her eyes alone. She's astounding. The three leads pack the most amazing punch - I'm so impressed by the acting quality and their chemistry when they're onscreen together.

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In addition to all of that, SYJ has great comedic timing. I am amused by every huff, puff, pout, quip and retort. 😂

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OMG! That ending was painful to watch and the preview of episode 10 wasn't any better. Oof! The acting of the three, I wonder why the ratings of this drama is going through the roof. Oof! Kim Soo hyun eyes literally broke my heart in the last scene.
And LMAO!!! The deer scene again 😂 I love Moon-young so bad!

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WOW. This show. as fans of both KSH and SYJ, I've admittedly had high expectations going into this show, and each week I watch almost with bated breath because I'm so sincerely rooting for this show to be good! As someone who's been watching kdramas for years, I haven't been so invested in so long.

I thought last week was emotional with memories of Mom & the jjampong scenes, but wow. the end of episode 9 BROKE ME. Kang Tae just saying "hyung" each time was already enough to get my eyes watery, but I was not emotionally prepared for the end of this episode. Kim Soo Hyun, you are golden...and oh how you know how to break our hearts. But yes, can we applaud Oh Jung Se? While I loveee the chemistry between KSH & SYJ (my babies), KSH and OJS have done a phenomenal job at portraying the immensely nuanced brotherhood between KT and ST. Also really loved the point about Moon-young's tear while watching the scene, such a subtle but important point of development in her character.

thank you for the recap @sailorjumun! (i totally haven't been refreshing since this weekend haha) been a silent reader the past few years but after this week's episodes, I can't hold back any longer!

** also to echo many people's comments, I'm getting more and more frustrated at how hospital staff at OK handle situations...like I know it's a drama and they might not be the main focus, but as a nursing student...sometimes I just can't LOL. (don't even get me started about that one gossipy male caregiver in ep 10...)

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OMG, that ending was TRAUMATIZING. I also have to commend the cast because I was yelling at my screen comfort them, make it stop, stop them. It was both awful and necessary. I was terrified for the both of them. Kang Tae was literally breaking down, Kim Soo Hyun was masterful, you can see him reduced to the little boy he was. Also Oh Jung Se just nailed it. You felt Sang Tae's fear once again at being left by his brother and nearly drowned. The whole thing was awful and spectacularly acted.

Finally, the hospital staff is really not the best. You see two psychological breakdowns and you just watch stupefied. I mean really, these people are terrible.

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I cannot agree with you enough. The hospital staff all need them bitch slaps

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i was very happy with episode 10 in this regard. :)

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Please someone gets me some kimchi to do some splashing!

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@kafiyah-bello My sister and I were saying the same thing! We were hoping that someone would intervene. That scene was so heartbreaking :(

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At certain points, I was literally covering my eyes with my hands. That was not fun to watch.

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traumatizing is just the right for it, and i think it's mainly applicable to kang tae. this outburst has got to have been cathartic to some level for sang tae. he's letting it all out after nursing this wound his entire life. i believe that's why director oh didn't let the head nurse intervene, bc he wanted to give sang tae this opportunity. but holy shit, did kang tae's entire being just get obliterated in this scene or what. i'm afraid this adds another gash to his already battered heart, and that sang tae may feel lighter coming out the other end of this, but kang tae is going to need additional therapy to recover from this alone.

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"but holy shit, did kang tae's entire being just get obliterated in this scene or what."
that is a good description for how it felt watching him as well.
Please writer nim can we please please PLEASE have a reasonable, and believable happy ending for all three of them?

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Sometimes you just got to let someone release their feelings. Intervention can make it worse. Like how you tell someone to cry when they are sad instead of holding it in. I do agree on some degree that the staff could have done more. At least get everybody else not involved back to their rooms.

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My first time commenting because this episode and these actors deserve everyone’s love and admiration. WOW my goodness that ending. KSH and OJS... I mean just WOW.

Obviously KSH is an amazing actor. I’ve watching him since MLFTS, and have been a fan since. Not a crazy one, just enough to admire his talent and his project choices. He had one of the most amazing runs on kdrama history from 2011-2015. The only thing that stopped him was himself. He took a break, and I moved on honestly.

But I couldn’t not watch this. It looked like something really great. And I’ve been with Kang Tae throughout this journey. Yet that last scene. That was heart shattering. It wasn’t just difficult, it was impossible to watch without shedding a tear or multiple tears. Kang Tae putting his hands together begging for forgiveness and still trying to convince himself that, no, he wasn’t trying to kill his brother. I’ve seen some powerful acting - I’ve seen over 200 dramas or more. But that was something from KSH. Others might think it’s premature to talk about awards and such at this time but those 5 minutes can thump almost every single acting performance in the past year.

Very happy to hear if there are other such amazing portrayal! I would love to watch the drama too. KSH is simply unreal.

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“Others might think it’s premature to talk about awards and such at this time but those 5 minutes can thump almost every single acting performance in the past year.”

THIS. That was intense. 5 minutes is all both KSH and OJS needs and they were simply phenomenal. They were out of their minds in that scene - likely a shoo-in for at least multiple nominations. Next episode is just as great too!

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2015-2017 wasn't actually a break/hiatus for KSH. He was filming the noir movie called Real which had a bit of issues during production (if I remember correctly it was co produced by China's Alibaba and due to THAAD things were halted). How badly I wished back then for him to do a drama before enlisting in 2017.

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Wasn’t KSH also into bowling for some reason? I remember he almost became a pro at some point lol. I really do wish - for my own selfishness - that’s he’s completely over that. I just want him to do a drama yearly, or movies if not. It feels like he was gone for half the decade and Real wasn’t real. I refuse to believe it was real lmao

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It's okay to be selfish sometimes. haha. I also wish that KSH would do a drama every year, but knowing him, it probably won't happen. He'll most likely do a movie after this drama and won't come back to dramaland for at least 2 years (or more). Movie is fine, but am not satisfied with seeing him for 2 hours. I need him on my screen weekly for at least 3 months. So, let's be selfish together. hahaha.

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Why am I getting a feel he'll do another drama next year? Let's pray my premonition is right 🤠

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LOL indeed. Life lessons from this drama is our justification to selfishness 🤣

And hmm, he said he really missed acting during the time he was in military. So I hope he’s gotten back his passion to act a lot. I don’t know if he ever lost it, but I felt after YFAS, he was so immersed in the commercial aspect of it all - the CFs, interviews, modelling, appearances, etc. that he maybe lost a bit of that drive to act a lot. Or, he was just busy lol. But what I’m getting at (after that long diversion and justification lol) is that don’t think we need to wait 2 or more years (please NOOO!!). He usually did a drama yearly from 2011. The year he skipped (most of 2013) he did 2 movies instead. It was just 2017 where he decided to bowl instead; so selfish me hopes his passion is back to acting now.

It’s a bit criminal to not use this kind of talent in a drama and movie YEARLY. Come on KSH, I’d give up that OST I’m requesting any day of week if you give us this instead?

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i actually hadn't even realized he was gone for so long bc you always hear his name. in hindsight, i'm also surprised he didn't do a drama for 5 years, and really hope he doesn't take a break that long again. at his level though, he probably gets so many offers that he truly must have the luxury to wait for the right thing to come along. i believe this is what happened with IOTNBO too, bc he's been out of the military for a while now. for reference, song joongki had been cast in descendants of the sun before he was even out.

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@dogemama - Yea I know exactly what you mean. He's always sort of in the limelight even when he has no projects, so it feels like he wasn't gone so long. Sometimes people talk about YFAS/Heirs/DOTS like it was eons ago, but to me, they feel really recent? Dont know if I'm the odd one here tho.

If I remember correctly he got discharged from Military early July last year and we got official casting offer news around October. So he waited 3 months only and in that time he also changed agencies. He definitely has the luxury of picking projects and I'm thinking he already has a movie lined up behind the scenes which he might've been considering since last year. I've heard a few rumors in Twitter.

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I on the other hand loved it that he took time off for himself back then, he has healthy hobbies and passions. Bowling is like a passion to him and he likes to take time to nurture it. I find it really satisfying as a fan. I just watched his old work.

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Why you hell bent on making me feel guilty?! 🥺🤣

Lol so my brain is nodding because intellectually youre 100% correct. I do want him to have hobbies, passions and a personal life outside acting (I mean, ofc!!). But I just don’t want him to stop acting for that long!! I couldn’t believe he didn’t give us a pre-military drama either. Still bitter about that lol.

No but in all seriousness, I want him to have a healthy life outside this industry which can be so brutal. And I’m glad he was able to take a breather because at heart, actually KSH is an introvert. At the same time, I hope he’s able to stay away from limelight when he needs to, yet also not stay away too long. I believe there’s a balance somewhere so I hope he’s able to keep it (because I believe he already found it since coming back from military).

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@dogemama first thing first, I completely lost the track of the comment streak and don't know which comments' reply I should click to mention both of you!!

MLFAS for me will always be a last year's drama cause I ritually rewatch it since 2015 January. I'm currently on my 10th rewatch and I actually baked a cake to celebrate the occasion. On another hand, I completely agree that KHS has a movie in his schedule already. Or a gazillion CF deals. Man, I wish I could see him whenever I turned on my tv...

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It's embarrassing how many times I've seen YFAS. Its by far the best drama I've seen in any language! But oddly, I don't think its KSH's best role lol. Personally, I was a huge fan of his portrayal of Ryu-hwan - so EPIC. And someone here mentioned Seung-chan too (and Hwon? Sam-dong? Obv Kang-tae too!). Bah, he's good in everything lol.

Anyway, I have my fingers and toes crossed that his next is a sageuk epic with a good female lead tho. I saw some fans wanting this and now I've set my mind on it LOL. Very convinced he's signed up for a movie too!

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Yay! Thanks for the recap!

That scene with Jung-tae and Ah-reum made me cry so much. He knew he won't be okay if they keep seeing each other until he can control his alcoholism. Ah-reum is also not yet stable. I really applaud their decision to let go because that takes so much effort to do so. I think this will happen to Moon-young and Gang-tae as well. They both need to heal first and they are obviously not there yet. A lot of us thought the relationship will be toxic because they have their own demons they still need to confront. I'm glad this is being addressed through Jung-tae and Ah-reum.

Really loved the Joo-ri moments in this episode. It was nice to see more of her and to understand where she's coming from. That flashback helped a lot too. I hope they will get to reconcile later on and be each other's bestfriend again.

Oh man. Sang-tae in this episode just broke my heart. He was so happy to have Moon-young as her bestfriend and I felt relieved to know Moon-young meant it. "You have Jae-su as your bestfriend. Now, I have one too." That line!! My heart!! I feel like Sang-tae has already accepted Moon-young because he knows his brother likes her. This is evident in his drawing of the three of them riding a flying camping car. So it was really frustrating that Gang-tae kept on lying to him. Dude! He knows! He's just waiting for you to be honest and trust him enough to say what you really feel. That scene that was reminiscent of King Donkey Ears at the end was brilliant. You gotta spill it or it will overflow.

This drama continue to amaze. It's insane. There was a kiss scene and it's the last thing in my mind. Aaaaakkkkk I wonder how Moon-young will react next episode. Why is waiting for the next day so hard???

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Yea the lies man. Idk how Gang-tae hasnt learned that he can't lie to Sang-tae.

And I know I like that the kiss was just so natural and perfect but doesn't take precedence. I was doubtful of Moon-young and Gang-tae being a possibility as a couple but now that I see it I can't help but want them to be together forever! Lol they are just so cute and perfect and Moon-young is actually trying so hard to be prosocial and kind that its so endearing...

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I dont get why he kept lying to Sang-tae. He will know. He reads people's faces so he knows how each emotion would look like.

Yesss! Moon-young is trying so hard. She tries to keep her cool when on the normal, she'd be going for blood.

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This might be rare thought... but I did remember about Jae Su warning to ST about not to trust so much on KT. For me, that is quite a dangerous seed of thought. Being planted in ST's mind, which might caused him go berserk. But, both of them must face-to-face their insecurities in order to heal or at least lessen their burden in deep inside.

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I totally agree with you.
He kept on lying to ST. He's been apologizing for some kind of lie to ST from the beginning of the drama, so I guess this has been happening all his life, and while KT tells ST lies are bad, he keeps telling them. KT needs to trust his hyung, because he doesn't.

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seeing moon young try so hard to connect with kang tae is so endearing. i am still not over the jjampong scene, where she purposely burnt her tongue to make him laugh.

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It's pretty touching and endearing to see MY forge a relationship not just with KT but also with ST oppa. I may have shed a tear when she called ST oppa her bestfriend.

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i loved that scene. i love that she literally fake smiles to please him. its as they say: ya fake it till ya make it.

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yeah, sang tae could have been eased into the idea of kang tae having a romantic partner, bc he is already so fond of moon young, and sees the three of them as a unit. that sketch of them flying into the sky on a camping van was the purest thing ever. that's why i completely understand why he felt so betrayed in that moment. i just could've never imagined his outburst would be this devastating.

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He's been holding it in for so long. It's bo wonder he exploded. ㅠㅠ

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The picture in the camping van slayed me. And I loved how ST was in front, "leading" the way, with Teary raised in triumph, as they moved barreled their way into the next adventure. :-)

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Totally agree with you about Jung Tae and AhReum. I really loved that JT is so conscious about his problem and doesn't want to avoid it. He loves AR and the only way they can be together one day is if he's stable enough to live with his addiction. Because he's never cure. He'll always be an alcoholic, and considering how lax is Korean society towards alcohol intake, it will be really hard if the doesn't have the proper tools.

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Aww that last scene... that was simply heartbreaking. 💔💔💔 this cast can cry like no other. 😭😭😭

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Thank you for another recap @sailorjumun. The ending was difficult to watch; I actually was unable to talk while watching it because it was so raw. I told my sister that it must've been hard for Sang-Tae to hear Kang-Tae tell their mother that he wished that he was dead. I know that their mother was raising two boys on her own but that still doesn't excuse the fact that she placed a terrible burden on her youngest child. I have no doubt that Kang-Tae loves his brother, but I cannot imagine how burdened he must've felt.

Sang-Tae is very much aware of the sacrifices that Kang-Tae has made for him. Sang-Tae often tells Kang-Tae that he is the one that should be taking care of the both of them because he's older. I believe that he wants to be the provider and feels frustrated that he cannot fulfill that role. I wish that Sang-Tae could've spoken to Kang-Tae privately instead of voicing his anger in front of the hospital staff and patients. However, his reaction was fueled by a feeling of betrayal; Kang-Tae and Moon-young lied to him. I feel for Sang-Tae because he is terrified that Kang-Tae will abandon him.

Lastly, I need to acknowledge how awesome Seung-jae is to Kang-Tae and Sang-Tae. The man literally uproots himself to follow both brothers! Bravo!

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I want to acknowledge Seung Jae along with with, he doesn't get nearly the amount of love he should. He is the best.

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I was hoping not to write so many comment in every single episode for this drama...but I failed miserably 🙈.

There are so much to write and feel in each scene, whether its hilariousity, its references from other Kdrama (😆😆😆), its comical dialogue and mostly their deep, eyes-bawling, brilliant acting! Best episode by far (for me 😊).

Kudos to KSH for his highest well earning ₩200,000,000 payment for each episode. You totally deserves it 👏👏👏. With other great team player in this drama, along with brilliant scriptwriter and directing...totally nailed it! Let it stay strong until finish line, even the hardest storm is yet to come.

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Oh, this episode made us feel different emotions. It also constantly made me feel bad for the brothers. Kang-tae only wanted to have fun. He needed just one happy day, but even that didn’t come easy. He got bothered by Ah-reum & Joo Jung-tae, and worried by Sang-tae. At least he got to spend some time with Ko Moon-young at the bridge. He looked really happy then. Props to Moon-young for making an effort to dress down haha. And their conversation the morning after...wow, it’s so beautiful. They both looked genuinely happy. I’m glad Kang-tae has acknowledged his feelings, giving that sweet soft kiss.  I also like how this drama shows their younger selves, somehow showing how they are slowly being understood and healed.

But I really wish Kang-tae has been honest with Sang-tae. I understand his apprehensions, but he also knows how much his brother hates lying. I think that it’s also his guilt which kept him from completely having fun. Sang-tae didn’t bother him unnecessarily but he still got worried because he’s keeping something from his brother. Now everything’s a mess and it’s heartbreaking.

Also, seriously, what is wrong with that hospital? Patients get better either because of Ko Moon-young or their own efforts, and the staff keep on doing inappropriate things. That guy who spread rumors about Moon-young and Kang-tae has not done a single thing right since the drama started. It’s getting annoying.

Regarding the three lead actors, I agree that they did so well this episode. They've been doing well since the beginning, with their subtle facial movements showing exactly how they feel, but that last scene was something else. It felt so real. My heart was breaking for each one of them.

I also agree that Moon-young crying shows that she's capable of feeling for others. I've been hoping too that the show would explain her condition more, but maybe it's saving it for later. I think many beanies are right that MY doesn't really have APD and this episode showed us that. The discussions about her outfit serving as her protection, and her being lonely inside don't seem to be consistent with her supposed condition...unless she's again being misunderstood. I'm expecting a good explanation someday.

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"But I really wish Kang-tae has been honest with Sang-tae. I understand his apprehensions, but he also knows how much his brother hates lying. "
Didn't Kang-tae once tell Moon-young that he always has to hide his feelings from his older brother? Maybe he hasn't learned to trust his brother enough to be honest.
Let's hope that will come as part of his learning and growing.

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Exactly. Their problems so far always stem from Kang-tae not trusting Sang-tae's judgment and understanding enough. I hope he'll learn that. I believe in our brothers' bond. They'll be able to fix this, sooner than later I hope. =)

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Uhhh, I'm not okay and it's not okay! This is not how you're supposed to make me feel, Show! Hearing Director Oh singing that damn song on rewatch, I was like "Nope. It's a lie. You're actually lying."

Aaaah. I hurt. Like, ugh the 'I-feel-it-even-when-I'm-not-consciously thinking-about-it' pain, just go away. Leave me aloneeee.

I know many are bothered by Sang-tae's outburst being so extreme, seemingly with him purposefully lying to manipulate the situation (which I don't think he did, at least, not consciously). There are many times when he's shown his wishful thinking over the state of their relationship changing, through mixing up the roles between them (like when he called himself Kang-tae's guardian this ep). He's muddled the roles between them, in part, because deep-down he wishes he could be a big brother to Kang-tae, that he could be a source of happiness and comfort, rather than a burden. While it may not seem to make sense, his brother getting a normal life, calls into question their "normal", challenges his worth as an older brother to Kang-tae and a best friend to Moon-young. Them leaving him behind and lying about it, not only made his idealized picture of their relationship seem fake, it made him call into question the integrity of these roles.

This is partially because Kang-tae is shying away from having important conversations with him, conversations that would actually allow Sang-tae the chance to be the Hyung he wants to be because he wouldn't be treated as a child. Sang-tae may never have the capacity to enjoy all the responsibilities of an adult, but he is no longer a child and is mature enough to handle things if Kang-tae would be brave enough to allow him the chance. He needs to explain that the happiness his new relationship with Moon-young brings does not call into question the worth of their relationships with him.

In his hurt, Sang-tae's outburst was a messy mix of all the worst-case scenarios in his head, a mix of Kang-tae's and his own mistakes, and a clear sign of how codependent they've become, festering over the same pain all these years. Now, at least, they'll be on the path to healing, that is, if Kang-tae can steer them on to an honest path of growth, rather than hiding and sacrificing his feelings, and, essentially, making his Hyung into the "burden" he so desires not to be. Right now, it is up to both of them to free him from that definition.

Thanks so much for an awesome recap @sailorjumun! I could not bring myself to rewatch the ending scene and can't imagine how hard it must have been to recap it.

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you've articulated the problematic elements of the moon brothers' dynamic so well here. *chefs kiss*

also, i feel confident sang tae was not lying. it was the shock of the accident and the aftermath that distorted his memory.

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That’s an amazing breakdown of the brothers’ relationship. I think Kang Tae is definitely at fault here even if I completely understand the reasoning behind it all. It’s similar to how a parent wants to shelter and protect their child even when they’re an adult. But in the end, a child needs to break free to truly grow. And in this case, Sang Tae needs to feel like he’s worth more than just someone Kang Tae needs to provide for and protect.

In that sense, Kang Tae also needs to understand that his brother wants to be an adult, as much as he could be. It was the same reason he had the previous outburst in Moon Young’s house. He said “Sang Tae belongs to Sang Tae” - as in, he wants to decide for himself. So if Kang Tae can be honest with him, Sang Tae can decide if he’d approve the relationship or not. Running away, lying and hiding the truth will not make things better at all.

As painful as it was, at least now things are in the open. Sang Tae has never expressed the fear of being abandoned to Kang Tae before. He’s also probably never talked about that dreadful day. Now that Kang Tae knows he remembers and is obviously still hurt about it, maybe they can finally talk it out and have a relationship where they aren’t so co-dependent on one another.

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I believe part of their dynamics and the way KT treats ST as a child and keeps lying to him (I've lost trace of the times he actually lied to him), it's because when their mother died, KT was a child. A mature child, but a child. He hasn't had the direction of an adult to address his big brother as a model. He's been trying so hard to be an adult without knowing how to actually be an adult to his brother... I don't know if I'm making myself clear...

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I agreed on your view. Read so many comments on how annoyingly ST's behaviour in this episode and next one too. But, honestly I couldn't agree/ understand why they felt so. You expressed my deep understanding on their problem so eloquantly. I believe they didn't have "open-heart" discussion yet, one that is crucial to healing process.

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Thanks for the fast recap.This show is so consistently amazing in all it's production quality every single week.
However this episode left my heart shattered for all three of them.
I wonder how these people are able to pull out such strong emotions out of their hearts in all the scenes. Do they need a minute afterward to let go of it all?
Wow - is all I can say for this show - just WOW.

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it had to have been a VERY taxing process to film that last scene. i doubt that you can immediately dial your emotions back down to 0 after getting in that state of mind. i hope all the actors and crew are taking care of themselves too.

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This episode was definitely something.
1) moon young and sang tae as besties is the OTP I never knew I needed.
2) I wanted to scream at the deer for interrupting that moment.
3) The actual kiss: finally......we've waited so long.
4) JR and MY 's backstory explains why JR was so tense when she met MY again in the first episode.
5) Patient Jung tae and A reum. It was sad but necessary. They are both nowhere near healed and running away would cause more problems than it would solve.
The ending:
I spent that entire final scene saying no, no no. I was with GT in that scene. I was simultaneously sad and uncomfortable. I spent the next hour after that episode in a state of confusion and shock. KSH, SYJand OJS killed it!!!!! 🤯

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Ok some one on the hospital staff DO SOMETHING!!!! But maybe It's Okay to not be Okay is the guiding principal of their treatment plan IDK?

The ending though...ooof......KT went from holding hands with MY, to curled up in a ball.

I've been watching When the Camellia Blooms and it's so interesting to see the same actor playing ST in that show.

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i was watching when the camellia blooms as well, and oh jung se is so good at being a well-intentioned sleaze bag lol man's got terrific range. these two performances are different as day and night.

also, not sure if you have noticed but the actor who plays the younger sang tae is also in wtcb!

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Oh will keep an eye out! But it really is night and day.

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I’m just glad no one died or tried to die this episode. Too many high bridges, seemingly empty streets. I totally thought our psych patients/love birds were going to have a tragic end. Then I thought the flower scene would end tragically. Then I thought Sang Tae would hurl himself over the railing and Kang Tae would follow him. I’m glad none of my three scenarios happened. (I really need to avoid the Beanie wall between episodes.)

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there was definitely this sense of doom wrapped through the entire episode. you could tell something was going to happen to throw everything and everyone into disarray.

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Omg same! I gasped when I saw their shoes outside but they're not there. First thing in my mind is they decided to die together, maybe jump into the ocean.

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Me toooo! I thought one of them cracked and thew the other one over a bridge when I saw him come back without her and crying.

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I agree when you say that OJS has been a revelation! The acting and character is amazingly done. And even tho kdrama has trained me well to expect some crisis when the OTP has a happy time, the ending was still hard to stomach!

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The first time I saw Oh Jung-se was in a short drama The Lover. There were lots of racy stuff that went on in that drama and it was pretty insane. Comparing that role to this one is just mindblowing.

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The last time was The King: Eternal Monarch a month ago. Episode 12 has more than 600 comments.

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That last scene will forever haunt me. It was so raw and real, that I feel like I was actually there watching two people in real life, that I was traumatized.

Kim Soo-hyun and Oh Jung-se, I will forever be grateful that it was the two of you who acted that scene. You both deserve all the awards just for that scene.

Thank you @sailorjumun for this recap.

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Sorry to share unpopular opinion. I’m just ok with this episode, and the entire series.

The last 10 minutes is indeed dramatic so this was well done.

But the entire series - I sonn my whoa think it is trying to be too clever and glorifying mental illness. I can’t help to compare with It’s Ok, It’s Love - the latter is less dramatic, approaches mental illness as more commonplace vs doing clever allegory with “fairytale gothic ambience” - but somehow ends up to be a more compelling watch, more heart. At least for me.

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But both drama have different mental illnesses. I am glad for enjoying both of it. And it will be boring if they try to imitate exactly like Its Ok That's Love. We should always celebrate any differences, we accepting those unpopular opinion too. As each one of us is unique on its own. What might appealing to you may not the same with anyone else 😊 (and vice versa).

Again, I should stop commenting and get my beauty sleep done ✌

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From Korea Herald...

..“ tvN suffered a worse-than-expected first-half performance, except for the romantic comedy "Crash Landing On You,".
Its prime-time series including the romantic comedy "Oh My Baby," starring Jang Na-ra, and the romance drama "It's OK to Not Be OK," starring Kim Soo-hyun, failed to impress South Korean viewers....”

My friend commented: It’s Ok that’s love is about mental illness with romance/friendship as backdrop, while IOTNBO is romance / clever camera details with mental illness as backdrop

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Agree with your friend's comment 😊, with both of them are brilliantly done.

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Who’s KSH and OJS? That was literally just Kang-tae and Sang-tae putting it all out there for everyone to see. I know this is so needed for them both to eventually stop treating each other like breakable porcelains. They’re both better than each other thinks. Sang-tae is more mature and understanding than Kang-tae gives him credit for. And Kang-tae is much more dedicated, selfless and loving than Sang-tae can ever understand. Once these things are wounds are opened, they can heal together. But the road towards that was really painful and tough to watch as a viewer.

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Kim Soo-hyun, I really don’t think that’s allowed. That level of emotion and desperation and utter devastation is not allowed. This is not what a signed up for? I heard strange romance, healing drama. I definitely didn’t hear heart-shattering-soul-stealing-pain.

I do wonder what kind of things he’s thinking about to bring forth such emotions at this level. Or can he just put it all together when someone yells action? I’m genuinely curious because good lord that last scene was just traumatizing (borrowing another beanies word here). When he looks towards the nurse and doctor, then just folds his hands begging for understanding, I fully lost it. I don’t even know what happened next, I just couldn’t watch anymore and don’t have the courage to go back to it yet either (and nope I haven’t seen ep10 yet...)

KSH expressing pain like no ones business is not the easiest thing to watch. Too raw, and bit too real honestly. Who would’ve thought to complain about acting being too real. WTF LOL. But in this case, the acting was just so on point I was feeling physically ill. Obviously other things happened in this episode - the kiss ❤️, all the happiness, smiles, freedom etc. But I’m still stuck on those final moments. I’ll be watching ep 10 tonight finally. So maybe I can move on it. For now I’ve absolutely no coherent thoughts. My brain (and heart) is a bit mush.

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Yes, I agree with your curiosity about how actors can just pull off something like that - what are you drawing on to produce a performance like this? Is it about just thinking through the whole situation and the build-up to it in huge detail and immersing yourself in it? Anyway, he earned his pay there!

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