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Open Thread #665

Happy Friday everyone!

Here is your Open Thread, which is here for you to chat about anything you want, whether it be drama-related or not. Nothing’s off-topic here! Spoilers may be rife, so proceed accordingly.

 
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This used to be a taboo comment ages ago, but... first?

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ohhhhh it got posted. Does that mean that there are changes?

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Hahaha... I don't know. Maybe it doesn't count because I said something extra and not just FIRSSSSST.

Hiiii~

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xD should have made a SECOND comment

Hiiiii Mary~~~

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Hi mary~~ *waves hard*

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🤣🤣🤣🤣 I wish YouTube banned the 'first' and "who's here in 20**?" Comments

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The "no one" thing is annoying too.

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This. It's so annoying tbh

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Hey mary!

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Hellooooo :)

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awaiting another SJR drama.

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A *decent* one! Don't tempt the Bad Drama Genies XD

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Hi Mary 😊

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Haha haven’t seen that in so long!
I think you got away with it because you’re mary 😁
Or because of your elevated status in the Beanie hierarchy.
Or both?

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Given that one can talk about anything in OT, including random meaningless stuff, "first" should be fine.

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Getting nightmare flashbacks to when Because This Life is Our First was airing and no one could actually post the full title half of the time...

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This...!!!!!

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Mary.

Hi.

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🤣 Yay for you?

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Hehehe I know it's not that exciting anymore, but my old-beanie self went O____O An OT with no comments! My time has come!

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Comment was deleted

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Nuuuu what was it?

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Haha, I was noticing all the little bean images by people’s names and I was just curious on what they meant (because I was gone when they implemented it), but after some digging on the website, I figured it out!

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hi mary~~~! 😄

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Little Boy - 675k - 19 august. Let's see

I like it when work is properly done. Results achieved.
Whether its tv drama world or real life humans like to complain. Like they are the most unfortunate ones. All the troubles and problems are after them. Don't want to work hard, smart work isn't heard of. Want easy meal and find free meal as a k+cn writer.
Do little work, burn much resources, have not much to show, meetings after meetings. Office gossip and coterie is the best they at.

Then cook struggles to gain sympathy points. How their colleges and superiors are this n that and how much effort they do put into their work and how come they r d only competent ones in whole office.

If you have taken the job then properly do it, don't make excuses of dog-ate-homework. Problem is most humans are lazy and they shriek responsibility a every turn and then have the gal to point fingers at politicians that comes out from the same society.

Is XI the hardworking or is Merkel a contender?

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Last week i made the comment about philosophical romanticised understanding and that week itself korean main lead beg for words so as to understand the other one. That's practical and the only solution. Even if non-verbal communications makes up 70% of human communication, you still need to put your feelings into visible words to reach out the other.
For that matter i stopped saying "thank you" to almost every employee -
I'm customer your are service provider, we have give n take relationship, transactions happen, then why should i appreciate a monetary happening.
Customer aka demand is business as well as job creator, yet employees expect customers to thank them for a service customer has paid, a job they got because there are customers. Now if someone goes out of way to help you out then a real, from heart, a +ve "thank you" comes out naturally.

Handsome Captain opens door of the mall for the visitors and becomes hot online - but when you get to do this in real life time and again you start to feel like showing middle finger to all these idiots. That's why i made the policy of only doing that for young kids and people that have some physical problems.
Enough of being courteous and kind towards others. People take avantaage of your kindness and then utter meaningless, dry and out of habit "thank you".
You have working body, why can't you open door by yourself?

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Hello Beanies!
Woke up to a pleasant surprise today...weighed myself (and dreaded it because I have an eating disorder past and have anxiety related to my weight so I only weigh myself every 3-4 months)..anyway...I've lost almost 7 pounds since the quarantine! I honestly thought I would have gained weight since I was eating more "junk" but maybe my body just needed it...anyway, I'm happy today!

Also random, but is anyone navigating the dating world during this time? Anyone who has been single during this time..do you feel me? The loneliness has been hard..wish I had a quarantine partner. Dating was hard enough before all of this, and now it's become even harder. Le sigh.

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"Loneliness can be cured by carbs". (Quoting Into the Ring).
Or cats. Or ....
In my case, cats.

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Haha! Very true...I wish I was allowed pets where I live!

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Love is annoying, but I hate being lonely.
- K drama (end quote)

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I was single before Covid-19 hit the world but I was thinking that maybe I'll meet someone this year. Now it looks like I'll stay single for the foreseeable future as I hate the idea of online dating and chances of meeting new people randomly in person are close to zero with social distancing and everything cancelled. Still, I'm mostly upset about not being able to go on the holidays I had planned rather than my single status.

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I had the same hopes... I was really planning on putting myself out there this year....really wanted to meet some new people. I guess this is considered a first world problem >.<

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In an *alternate reality* (so many K-dramas with alternate realites these days) you could have been in a long-term relationship but after having been in lock-down continuously with them for four+ months you snapped, strangled them and buried them in the back yard.

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LOL - that got dark real quick!
I guess we always think the grass is greener on the other side

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Could you maybe turn to friends and family? And apparently lots of couples broke up while in quarantine so maybe it was a blessing in disguise that you didn't have a quarantine partner to constantly annoy you.

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You're right...I've heard divorce rates and break ups have been high so you're right..blessing in disguise perhaps!

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What a nice surprise on your weigh-in! You must feel great about that 👍🏼

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Thanks! Definitely do.

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I gained 12 pounds while living with lots of emotional ups and downs for the past 4 months. For dating aspect, it’s always been the same being single for the past two years.

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Me! I have also been thinking about loneliness, not in the sense I would like to date, for I don't want to, but at least being close to some people I love, and for now it is not possible.
However, I recently thought (and I am not implying this is your case) the person I need to love the most (somehow), and the person I rather spend most time with is no other than myself. Even if I go to Tenerife where one of my girlfriends live, or Lyon where my brother and his family lives, I will keep feeling lonely if I don't love myself.
I suppose I am still discovering what love for one self means and findings ways to put it into practice. I guess this is an ongoing journey and of course other people play a role in it, but at the end of the day, again, it is me with me...
So... it's a lot of work. Any suggestions are welcome!
Single beanies: fighting!!!!!

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Quarantine Partner would make a great book title!

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I was so happy to find a post from @azzo1 on the fan wall this week. In case you missed it:

https://www.dramabeans.com/members/azzo1/activity/1094400/

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Woah--what? The last update I saw was when they met a 2nd time! This is like skipping the angsty parts of a drama and watching only the meet-cute and happy ending. :)))

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It is literally the best currently airing drama right now, and exactly the respite I needed from real life, both global and personal.

Seriously, has Netflix picked this up yet? Because Stickynoteguy is a sure winner.

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*pokes head up* Is 2012 over yet?

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Azzo's Stickynoteguy sounds like a great rom-com title i'd watch.

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The 3M Post it Note ppl is a no-brainer here

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If Netflix is ever going to pick this up, who is going to play SNG?

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Wasn't that obviously going to be Park Hae Jin? SNG may not agree to that though.

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@mary, I think you missed a lot. I remember later dating escapades, including a time when there was flooding and he was going to wade out to her house so she wouldn't be alone.

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We didn't really have angsty parts ☺
*knocks on wood, throws salt over her shoulder, goes through all the superstitions to ward of evil*

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@azzo1’s update has made the week for many of us! SO much good news 👰😁

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WHATTTTTTTT

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ooohhh are we gonna have a bridal shower for Azzo here before the big day? hehehehe

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I JUST discovered Son Ho Joon (through Was It Love), and what took me so long???

Going back to binge watch his old shows while waiting for new episodes. Just finished Go Back Couple. A little sad he doesn’t seem to be that popular in Korea? Seems to be cast as a supporting character most of the time. Sigh. He should always be cast in roles of brooding males suffering from the anguish of unrequited love.

That’s all! I have nowhere else to gush about this and it’s been bursting inside of me.

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Though not the ML, I really enjoyed him in Reply 1994, too. He's a great actor.

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I’ve never felt compelled to watch Reply 1994 until now! I’m watching all sorts of shows I have no interest in just to get more Son Ho Joon on my screen.

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I know Reply 1994 gets a bad rap, but I actually really liked it. It's a fantastic ensemble! Just don't set your heart on the 2nd ML ship sailing and you won't come away bitter. :)

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Oh lorde, I’m still bitter.
I didn’t get to finish it because I accidentally read a spoiler 🥺

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i'm going to echo this, and say I actually like 1994 much better than 1997. definitely give it a watch! son ho jun is hilarious in it.

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You can watch Youth over Flowers in Laos instead of Reply 1994, it has great ending no one can deny! :D
And I really like the trio and enjoy how naive and raw Son Ho Joon is! ^^

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The Light In Your Eyes, Ho-joon is also there. And maybe check his variety shows too, Three Meals A Day and Coffee Friends ;)

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Ooo thank you! I didn’t know he was in variety shows!

I’m going to be so sad if he doesn’t get the girl in the new drama he’s in. I appreciate JTBC for experimenting new frontiers, but just this once pleeeease be cliche and conventional and let this guy get the girl please 😣

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I've only seen him in these two, and oh, the men in Was It Love was in Knowing Bros last week!

I think there's a big chance he'll get the girl, the 4eps have been nothing but full of cliches xD

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Haha I know! Never have I been so relieved that a drama is predictable and cliche!

And thanks for the heads up! Will go find that episode now.

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@myneighbortotoro Enjoy the variety shows, all of them are fun to watch!

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Or better still, just hand him over to me! (I love your name btw, I am a huge Miyazaki fan)

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I love him! Did you watch his variety show Coffee Friends?

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I just found out about it! I haven’t really been exposed to Korean variety shows yet, but will gladly take the plunge now :D

Also just found out he was in this weekend drama called Blow Breeze. Has horrible reviews across the board, critically panned everywhere... but it offers 50+ episodes of Son Ho Joon. 😣 sigh, what’s a fangirl got to do?

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Coffee Friends is my favorite version of him. (Not a drama? Blasphemy!) But he was able to out-hot Yoo Yeon-seok for me there.

Next is Light in Your Eyes but... he's not swoony there. XD

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Same! I could watch him make coffee all day. He seems like a really steady and loyal friend too. And that VOICE. Ooooh.

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I loved watching Coffee friends too.

And my first (and only) experience with Yoo Yeon Seok so far in serials was "Boring and Lazy" sorry, I meant "Warm and Cozy". I watched first two episodes and gave it up. (This is first of Hong sister's show, I did not finish).

But there was Yang Se Jong (he is like a cute kitten) so I began and liked the whole gang.

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I love him to bits. Such a good actor. What a contrast to how he is in real life.

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What’s he like in real life?

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my daughter and i saw him at Kcon LA in 2015 - we was included in a panel discussion with a writer. he seemed very shy and surprised to see so many fans in LA! i'd say he's a humble, sweet guy - a bit cautious, if you've watched the Youth Over Flowers travel show with him, yoo yeon seok and baro (all from reply 1994).

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You’re so lucky! I really want to go to KCon! Wish I had been a drama fan back when travel was easier.

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He's very shy and quiet compared to his characters. Cha Seung Won in Three Days A Meal said to Gong Hyo Jin that he is shy guy, so it takes a while for him to open up for her to talk to him.

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I was reminded how much I like him after watching a couple eps of Was It Love. There is something in his speech pattern or inflection that I like. He really needs to be in more shows.

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The lines given to him really aren’t that special, but there is just something about his delivery that lends a lot of charm to an otherwise typical stock character. The way he tends to look down at the girl through half lidded eyes is also very swoon inducing, heh.

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Dare I suggest "My Secret Terrius"? He plays a morally grey character but is a riot..the drama has laughable internal logic but the cast really is lovely.
Also if you can, do watch his Youth over flowers travel series with YYS

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YES! I LOVED him in that! And we had adorable So ji sub in it, but he manages to shine!

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LOL..i was watching a clip of Was it Love on YT and i thought why does he look so sleepy and can some one cut his bangs so he looks more awake? hehe..but i like the way he talks in Coffee Friends..i think it's satoori but he does it very gently..

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I love the way he speaks too!

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I recently watched him in, The Light In Your Eyes. He played a wacky character in that one. I've seen almost every drama he's in.

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I have seen him in "Three meals a day" and another show called "Coffee Friends" (I guess) before, but this is my first time watching him act!

I guess I have a new favourite! He is amazing! I have not seen a single Reply Series yet. But now I plan to watch the one with him in it.

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or you can watch Go Back Couple too ;)

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I am going to try that one when I can handle a bit more of a realistic drama. (I know the fantasy part of it but also know that it portrays the reality called marriage)

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That's true!

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My Secret Terrius, too. (Not to mention starring So Ji Sub)

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That one my dear friend, I have seen! :-D He holds his own in it, right?

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I'm still high on Hamilton. Words can't really described how much it moved me. It is now my all time fave art performance, of any form, that I ever had the pleasure to encountered. Lin-Manuel Miranda is trully a genius.

Now I'm on one of those slump time where everything just seems pale in comparison. No kdrama, songs, movies, tv show, ... nothing outside this Hamilton bubble that can grab my attention. I know this will eventually pass with time. But for now I guess I just have to watch every youtube videos and read every interviews related to Hamilton until this high subsides.

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Enjoy riding it out, Hamilton is well worth your time and excitement! Yesterday I watched several “coronations” of King George when the cast turned the role over to the next person to play the King. Very silly but fun to watch 😁

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It's so nice that we didn't have to travel to see it (even though live would be better).

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Agree that live theatre is magical. But the recording of live theatre gives us the close up shots that we just wouldn't have access to. I just love seing the expression of the actors, including Jonathan Groff's spit in You'll Be Back 😜 I hope there'll be more of this type of recording for other shows in future.

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I especially loved Daveed Diggs' portrayal of Thomas Jefferson--it was spot on.

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Daveed Diggs is fantastic. I don't know how anyone can rap that fast???

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Hmm. So this makes me think about how as a kid I loved the Disney movie Pocahontas. And I remember being confused and overwhelmed by visceral feelings of betrayal and absolute disgust when I was finally taught just the bare minimum of that story. That Pocahontas married John Rolfe, was taken to London and died before she could return home at only 21. And, critically, that Native Americans and settlers never became friends like the story made us believe.

I still feel a visceral reaction when I think of that movie and the vicious lies it perpetrates on children, and I would never in a million years let any child watch it without giving them a day-long lecture before and after.

With Hamilton, I get shades of this and I also get flashbacks to my US History class that shoved the white supremacy versions of history down our throats, and left me thinking that Jackson was fine I guess, but wasn't Jefferson's Laissez-faire policy better? Ugh, ugh.

(Seriously every American on this site should read Lies My Teacher Told Me, if you haven't already)

But just like with Pocahontas, right down to the pretty visuals and catchy songs, I just cannot understand or appreciate the white washing of history for the sake of telling a story.

To each their own and all, but it's a perspective to digest. Here are a couple of good articles as well.

https://howlround.com/why-hamilton-not-revolution-you-think-it

https://www.counterpunch.org/2016/06/24/miranda-obama-and-hamilton-an-orwellian-menage-a-trois-for-the-neoliberal-age/#gsc.tab=0

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Yes, when we Americans write our history, we do tend to dwell on the history we are proud of: founding of our democratic republic, our struggles to end slavery and child labor within our borders, our multiculturalism, our free market strength that enables us to afford to help the poor in other countries, etc. I imagine most historians everywhere tell history this way.

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Not just Americans. "History is written by the victors." All human groups did it, try to do it and will try to do it. Some more egregious than others. Honest archeologists and historians also try to find records from differing perspectives to recreate the most complete accounts. Those tend to remain within academic circles and amateur devotees.

Teaching history to children seems to focus on gradually building up complexity. Of course, this is usually aborted before it gets to the most complete perspective known at the time. Not to mention the mostly local level of primary education in the US also is a source of biases.

When it comes to a couple hours of entertainment focusing on any person, I usually assume there is much more untold unflattering or even outright negative stuff.

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I think it is universal that every society struggle in capturing their true history. It is afterall depend on Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Our Story.

A less than 3 hours musical could not possibly convey the richness and complexity of the history. I hope tho that a show like this would bring the story front and center. Which in turns invite people to read more and learn more of the history from various different sources, and make their own inform decisions.

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I suggest reflecting on the reasons you believe these things though, since I don't think it's borne out in reality.

White washing of history must be pro-acrively combatted before people even get an inkling they were fed false information in the first place. And even then the false version is usually more enduring. This is kind of made apparent in your comment itself: you say the play didn't convey the complexity of history; you didn't acknowledge it as a false version of history and mischaracterization of historical figures. The difference is HUGE.

(Also has anyone seen Knives Out? The character Jeff Bridges patting himself on the back for seeing Hamilton but also railing against undocumented immigrants was perfect imo)

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I think any attempt of retelling of history would fail in conveying the entire truth. I am under no illusion to think the show represent reality. I think this show got some facts right, some facts wrong and some facts ignored.

For me, Hamilton is about this man that against all odd managed to overcame his difficult upbringing and made a legacy of himself. That spirit of human story is what resonates and feels true to me.

For those that feel the show is a let down tho, I sincerely hope that one day someone get to tell the unheard stories in a way that can connect and reach to the wider audience, more than Hamilton ever did.

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Hyun Bin 😍

Or should I say "Tomato Cultivator"?

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Uh, YEAH 🥰😘😍

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Why is Hyunbin a tomato cultivator?

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In his last drama the gift was a tomato plant 😂

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*clears throat to illuminate Katak on Hyun Bin lore*
It's from CRASH LANDING ON YOU: As a North Korean soldier, he received a tomato plant as gift and was supposed to help it grow by talking to it (Imagine a handsome soldier crouching by the plant and lulling it to sleep/grow with his beauutiful voice). Later he took the alias "Tomato Cultivator" when he discovered video games in South Korea. People who watched MEMORIES OF ALHAMBRA were probably relieved that he was sat firmly behind a screen this time.

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Anxiously waiting for the weekend so I can figure out what is next in the world of IOTNBO!
Also started watching Gunman in Joseon and Stranger (which I think is Forest of Secrets 1?)

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I just started watching Forest of Secrets. I thought I was the only one late to the party XD On the bright side it will be fresh in our minds once S2 starts :D

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Then we will have to debrief once we are done! I really loved Bae Doona in Kingdom.

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It's a deal. :) I haven't watched Kingdom... but then I haven't watched a lot of things (I was stuck in a drama slump) 😅 I am just getting out 😊

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(psst, when you finish, check out our podcast ep on Forest of Secrets here!)

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Will do!

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Will do ;)

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Stranger is one of several kdramas I watched with my brother.

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I'm headed into episode 2 and so far episode 1 was pretty good! I also started watching Train on viki but the free version only allows a certain number of episodes before it tell you to buy vikipass....boo!

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Hello all:

Hoping all is well. Am battling some depression but holding up. Nothng worse than being a depressive with an unwieldy negative imagination. Other than that, all is well.

The neighbors have been battling the woodchucks who are burrowing under decks and sheds. My hubby saw a skunk attacking my potato plants. The chipmunks are nibbling at stuff. Usual stuff.

Been trying to walk outside at least three times a day for 20 minutes each. Trying to commit to losing weight. Meeting some nice folks in the park.

Dramas:

TRAIN -- My new drama crack. It surprised me several times. I never used to like Yoon Shi Yoon but he's become such a great actor and has lost that babyface goofiness. Yep, he's now a manly man.

BURNING ICE -- Catching up on cdramas. This one is so dark. But i like it. But then...i made a mistake of reading the summary of it on wiki and it seems to have a nihilistic ending. Aaargh. That turned me off. I hate serial killers or just plain evil continuing on after a story is finished.

Dropped OK to be OK: I'm tired of dramas telling us to tolerate cruel selfish people because said cruel person is a wounded individual. Some of the things cruel heroines are allowed to do would never be allowed in a male character. And the whole idea that we should endure boundary-pushing, threats, and manipulation until stockholm syndrome kicks in and we finally heal the stalker who loves and obsesses over us just rubs me the wrong way. It's like I'm watching dramas train sensitive souls to become doormats and victims. I'm easygoing generally and i understand emotional woundedness and that some folks get nasty and mean because they're wounded. I also believe that perhaps true love is when one's own neurosis matches that of another person's. But the extreme cruelty and pushiness of the heroine personally bothered me...even if she is going to be the tool to save our hero's life.....and Yep, i had to let it go.

Have a great weekend, all.

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I found the heroine less cruel than some of the staff in psychiatric hospital 😂

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There is subtle and underhanded/underminding cruelty and there is in your face cruelty. When it comes to cruelty, there is no less than or more than. Cruel is cruel. Avoid all cruel people; we can't sit around parsing out acceptances to any kind of cruelty. Few of us are strong enough to endure that kind of crap. And bullying or persistently invading another person's life is the worst kind of cruelty. "I'm wounded so i can be nasty to you" is not something i will tolerate for a long time in my dramawatching.

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It’s not just her childhood traumas but we are also told that she has ASPD.
I’m not a psychotherapist so I don’t exactly know where to draw the line.
I think the majority of the viewers here are aware of her situation.

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kdramas often overdoes mental illness. She is obvious yes and other folks in this drama have subtler issues, or ways of appearing/choosing okayness. But my problem is that we are being trained by kdramas to always endure extreme female cruelty because in the long run that cruelty will be healed and we will be part of healing said cruel person because we were understanding and patient. I think this is a fine line, a very scary thing, to constantly be walking. I just got used to horrible first-lead chaebols being mean until some good girl saves them. I'm not in the mood to accept bullying stalkers on the off-hand that my love and understanding will cure them. Also, if she were ugly or fat, would the kdrama allow her such liberties?

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@scifiwritir, caroleMcDonnell

I think I understand why you find problematic with the show and I can only speak for myself.

Like my comment in the last episode, I'm not expecting miracle healing or love cures all  because her condition is not curable if she is really having ASPD but some of her symptoms can improve if I understand correctly.
She has been called a monster ever since she was little and while she is beautiful on the outside, she is the beast and not our naive little Belle.

Going back to the old and dark roots of these  fairy tales mixed with Korea's own folk tales is very interesting to me.
Moon-young's own books have it's dark side but it's the story within the story of the main characters.
I find some of the message and interpretation touching and relatable.

I love good acting whether the actors meet Korea's beauty standard or not.
I think Seo Ye-ji is doing a great job and I've always seen potential during her newbie days since "The Throne."  
 This is probably my favorite out of Kim Soo-hyun's acting beside his early days in "Giant" "Will It Snow for Christmas?" etc.  The one that gets my attention the most is Oh Jung-se. Do I find him attractive? Not really. Do I find his acting beautiful? Heck yes.

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If love doesn't cure all, then I'll be okay with this drama somewhat. If her cruelty brings healing to others, i'll raise an eyebrow. Myth and folklore have much to tell us. I can go with mythic illustrations made into an actual contemporary story but i truly do not trust this kdrama to be completely psychologically or mythically true. I expect drama tropes and easy answers to prevail. I could be wrong. I'm hoping i'll be wrong.

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".... i truly do not trust this kdrama to be completely psychologically or mythically true."

Well, I'm going to eat my words for trusting this writer.

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Trust can be betrayed. Worry can be calmed. Cynicism can be proven wrong. Well just have to see. Am hoping this drama proves me wrong and does something very different in a kdrama: a true depiction of mental illness that doesn't tie everything up in a redemption arc romance bow. Fingers crossed.

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I agree about IONTBO. She's badass, but she's also toxic.

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And stabby. Don't forget stabby. FIx her up with the guys from My Country :)

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LOL!

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She would've been a great character in that one. Maybe as an assassin with an unclear allegiance.

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Villianelle of Killing Eve is exactly like this. And yet there are tons of people who love her/fan girl about her. I guess seeing a female lead this messy/dgaf attitude is refreshing which I get since the day of Candy girls.

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She was something else wasn't she?

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There is 2 things bothering me about Is ok to be ok, one is what is with the stairs and the other is her behavior. And how people are her are okay with it and the viewers are finding it "cute". It is not cute. It is dangerous.

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Exactly! Young people like passion and angst and they can easily mix up pity with love. Romance models are weird enough. I shudder to think that there are young kids out there who are affected by this kind of messy ish. It's okay to not be okay and emotional differences and neuroses are nothing to be ashamed of, even in a traditional homogeneous patriarchal society. But dangerousness is a whole nother issue.

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I don't find her behaviour cute but it doesn't shock me at all. I'm not young anymore, 39 soon, and I would rather deal with people like her, because I'll know what I can expect, than with vicious women plotting behind your back and bad mouthing you all the time. Jealousy between adults is an unexpected and dangerous weapon which can destroy anything around you. I hate taking sides but I don't like mistreatment. There are so many people out there who need to make someone unhappy to heal their own wounds. They would laugh and make themselves adorable to others so nobody could tell the real themselves.

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I'm 60. I've been one of those folks who sought to make someone happy so they could like me. I also have known folks who sought to make people unhappy so they could be healed. I'm sure that type has wounded me and affected my mental disposition and immune system. But i also have been the type of person who stayed with some seriously cruel friends because i thought i was the only one who understood them and i was the only one they had. And that never worked out. NEVER. This type of mental illness is not cured by love. Creepy adults who pretend to be sane and good are also fairly incurable. The title of this drama is "it's okay to not be okay" But is that opinion really true? Is it really okay to be this dangerous and cruel...whether or not one hides it or flaunts it? In short, some folks are not okay and it's okay if they're not okay...only let them be not okay far from me.

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I have not seen this show so far. (I am going to some time when I am up for watching darker stuff) But I like one thing which you said in this comment " This type of mental illness is not cured by love. ". I will rather say "NO mental illness is not cured by love, ALONE".

The most important thing (I hope) our writers (Not just K-Drama ones) learn is that LOVE is not some magical potion which fixes everything in life.

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But if you have to deal with someone like her and is always expecting some crazy unknown behavior, that gets tiring and it can be bigger than taking care of yourself and your life. You basically wont live for yourself anymore, but to someone else.

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Maybe it's just me but I've been taking care of myself and my life for very short period of time. There have been people around me who I loved and I needed to care for them and now I have little kids and on the top of that I'm living in a foreign country where it's hard to do a decent job with my diploma invalid in here so for now and next 9-10 years everything will be devoted to them. All the time I tried to be little bit selfish something went wrong. So yes, living for someone else can be done without loosing yourself.

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I can't say i've ever been selfish. If i do anything selfish, i never get away with it. I'm quite the caretaker. But protecting one's self from dangerous people can also mean protecting the dangerous person from themselves and protecting one's children from such people. Mad folk, selfish folk who are never challenged, often end up very badly if people allow them to continue unchecked. They should be taught that they can be loved for their saner selves. They should be taught that learning to play by society's rules may be hypocritical but society has rules for a reason. Not everyone will tolerate their cruelty, and some people will be driven to despair and suicide because of the cruelty some crazy folk inflict on them.
BTW, i love the dichotomy of losing yourself vs loosing yourself. <3

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That's how children are taught in normal society. The antisocial personality is a creation of environment which is neglecting or purposely brainwashing or abnormally spoiling that little human being. It's like a statue who's master brings it to its life. There are some whole societies which are raising their children in this way focusing only on the power of money and the power on its own. If we go down the memory lane whole noble families have had neglecting their children purposely to create a great selfish person full of him/herself and there's only little part of these "chosen" people who didn't lose basic human values. I might be harsh but people are buyable. No matter how wrong are they treated money is working fast like a band aid to wounds. That's why I liked the pilot episode where KT is telling MY he doesn't want her money.

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The stairs that nobody minds much. She pushed two so far and the second attempt became a funny moment instead of proof of insane behavior.

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Yep. Her feelings are prized more than the emotional turmoil of all the other characters. When this story ends, she better get some serious empathy and actually feel sorry for the crap she's put strangers and friends through.

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When this story ends, she better get some serious empathy and actually feel sorry for the crap she's put strangers and friends through.

This reminds me of Lee Hyuk from The Last Empress....he showed signs of empathy along the way but always revert to being cray2. And his ending, when he realized all his wrong doings was so sad but apt for his craziness and bad deeds. I'm sure MY is not as evil as Hyuk, also TLE was makjang infinity and IOTNBO is a healing(?) drama. But from what I read about her so far...they do share the same traits. Hyuk was mentally abused by his parents since childhood and groomed to be crazy emperor. I was rooting for him to be sane, emphatize, and repent throughout the drama. His cray2 antics were fun to watch but a big NO in the real world.

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I want to like IOTBNO very much, I like the illustration, I think the drama well made. Butttt.... She is emotionally blackmailing him. When I have to imagine that he has to take care 2 emotionally demanding people in the future if the otp get together. It is tiring me out already.

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I truly think they could have toned her down and still gotten their point across. One can be needy and offkilter and not be so over-the-top bullying. I understand she has power and having money and power is her only strength but yes! him being the only sane person? I fear this will be yet another story that bit off more than it could chew. (Side-eye: Sweet Munchies)

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+1, I am also starting to feel "ohno" about her character. I feel exhausted for Gang-tae's future. I need the drama to show proper healing soon (as in with the help of therapy and not just love). Otherwise I can't help but imagine all the toxic relationships I know in real life that have a similar pattern and no relief in sight. :(

I hope the show lives up to its promise to handle such issues properly.

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"I need the drama to show proper healing soon (as in with the help of therapy and not just love). "

WORD!

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Exactly. At one point (and I am expecting them to bring this up), he will have to choose between her and his brother. And how tiring this will be. And so far, the story we've been told is that he had to take care of his brother since early on and how guilty he feels about it.

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