I have people I am close to that have been touched by it- and it is devastating. It can be overcome in some cases but it is not easy at all. I think that to simply describe it as a matter of morals is to miss the point of morals- which is a set of principles which, if followed, keeps a person from making the blunder in the first place (and it is a destructive blunder). Of course true morality is not merely about sexual conduct but about such principles as keeping one's promises and telling the truth. But once the blunder has been made condemnation does nothing nor does fault-finding. If your only use of morality is to find fault and condemn then you become one who sins by omission- because these are always simply excuses for not doing something to help.

While I agree that it is wrong to say that ones character is bad based upon one action it does, nonetheless, say something about the nature of someone's character if they do this. I would seriously wonder about the trustworthiness of a man who cheats for instance- it might make me hesitate before making him the trustee for a trust fund, for instance.

@oldawyer, I think it's complicated.

I don't deny that infidelity can and often is devastating. But I also think this is often very situational. The reasons why people are unfaithful matter and the nature of the relationship within which the infidelity occurs can make a big difference.

As for character, I think it depends a great deal. Infidelity, especially where it constitutes a pattern of conduct and involves significant deception, could very well undermine my ability to trust a person. But I also think people have a tendency to be punitive and unforgiving with these sorts of things. People change, and it's unfair to let these sorts of things become a Mark of Cain that follows a sinner for the rest of his or her life. I'm also inclined to think that there is an element of moralism at work here. I think a great many people have made mistakes at various points in their lives (ranging from youthful mistakes like cheating on a test to more serious things like hurting people or developing addictions); I think it's unfair to regard people who commit this transgression as especially worthy of execration.