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[K-drama lessons] Do it yourself

It’s tough to narrow down all the lessons that K-dramas have taught me. With every watch, little nuggets of information get stored in my brain for future use. Sometimes it’s big things — reminders that love conquers all, hope is necessary, and noona killers are not off limits. And sometimes it’s small things, like remembering to always get an IV drip when you have a fever, a headache, or too much anxiety.

Recently, I watched the amazing drama Eun-joo’s Room, which is all about redesigning your living spaces using do-it-yourself methods. The idea behind the show is that material changes in your home can have rippling effects — and sometimes when you improve your surroundings, you improve your outlook as well. But when I thought harder about the message, I realized dramaland is full of DIY advice. Whether you’re out for justice or need to exorcise your childhood demons, the lesson is the same: it’s better to do it yourself.

Getting Revenge

If there’s one thing dramas have taught me it’s that you can’t trust the system. There might be a friendly and good-looking police officer hanging around the neighborhood offering help, but when it comes to righting injustice, you’ll need to take matters into your own hands.

If you’re the underdog, going up against a chaebol power player or a corrupt government official — like Park Sae-ro-yi in Itaewon Class or Lee Doo-hak in Oasis — you just can’t win by following the rules. Success requires patience, ambition, and the carefully laid plan of a lone hero with a single vendetta. So, if it’s revenge you’re after, skip the police report and go straight to the source — where you’ll single-handedly prevail against injustice, as well as the band of thugs trying to protect it.

Just make sure you’ve got revenge in your bones before you begin. Otherwise, take a lesson from Shim Woo-joo in Call It Love and, rather than go alone, forego the revenge altogether — because you’ll only end up hurting yourself in the process.

Making Money

In dramaland, money doesn’t grow on trees, fall from the sky, or come from government scholarship funds. No. If you’re not born with a golden spoon, there’s only one way to get cash for college or a trip abroad, and that’s to earn it — ten gig economy jobs at a time.

While Candy heroines sometimes take a lot of flak, they’re my favorite drama characters for their entrepreneurial edge. Without the backing of traditional employment, they face the world on their own, stacking up the bank books, until they’re headed for SNU. While some jump from job to job, like the heroines of Cheer Up or Cinderella and the Four Knights, others earn their keep by sticking it out at convenience stores (a la Backstreet Rookie) or running a family business when the family is no more (as in Flower Boy Ramyun Shop). What all these women have in common is their spunk, drive, and ability to take care of themselves when the going gets tough.

On the flip side, sometimes even when you have a cushy office job and the highfalutin salary that goes along with it, you need to give it all up and go solo if you really want to achieve your dreams. There’s no better example of this than our fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants heroine Yumi (in Yumi’s Cells) — who says goodbye to her office buddies in order to sit home by her lonesome and write. And, as evidenced by her great success, the lesson is that DIY income is always the way to go.

Overcoming Trauma

Nary a therapist exists in dramaland, so if you want to get over all that childhood trauma you’ve been carrying around since you lost your first love at the age of five, you’d better get ready to do it yourself. Usually this entails running into that first love in your twenties and dredging up all the memories your conscious mind forgot for a reason. But if you ever want to have a chance at love in the future, you’ll want to get on with digging up the past.

There a few ways to go about rehashing your trauma. Whether you’re suffering a painful post-amnesia recall or have been harboring your secrets in silence for years — in either case — you’ll likely only get healthy when you share your problems with a trusted other (who might even have a similar problem). Well-executed examples include It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, Just Between Lovers, I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day, and The King’s Affection — all dramas about overcoming hugely traumatic events in the face of feeling entirely alone.

But, as with every lesson, there are exceptions and sometimes trauma just can’t be overcome. I learned from The Interest of Love that even in the magic of dramaland, some deeply rooted problems are here to stay. Luckily, it doesn’t happen often. As taught by Kiss Sixth Sense, skipping the psychological treatment in favor of a friend usually works just fine — so fine, in fact, it can shatter your heightened sensitivity and get you back to your normal senses.

 
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I kdrama lesson I learned is that even if you live in Seoul, a city of 12 million people you will always run into someone you know and happen to bump into your enemy, no matter what.

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I’ve learned that getting caught in the rain will always lead to harrowing illness including the required IV drip - but you will only get better if you have a vaporizer.

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Also, if you get a fever so high that you're hallucinating and collapse to the floor a damp washcloth loving applied to the forehead by a member of the opposite sex will fix you right up by next morning.

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In a rush to leave the hospital, you will pull out that IV yourself (I wince every time) and rush out of the hospital to whatever urgent challenge awaits. This is not just for the lightly ill rainstorm victims, but the near death injuries too. While rushing out, they never seem to knock over that vaporizer.

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They never learn with the IV drip thing. It's the way they pull yank out the drip that makes me react every time. I'm scared they'd injure a vein or vessel.

At my first time consciously receiving a drip, when I was due to leave, the nurse pulled it out together with the plaster that was used to make it a firm hold on my skin. As a hairy guy, it hurt more.

But, I do not know where our k-characters get their sudden strength from.

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I love this entire angle @dramaddictally -- you really point out how dramaland loves a go-getter, no matter what the story, genre, or specific problem might be ^^ (Eun-joo shout-out, too!)

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@missvictrix ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (and Eun-joo is such a gem!)

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You also do all the housework yourself! Doesn't matter if you are a chaebol heiress with your own company, you'll be vacuuming your own house as long as Dyson circumstances demand it.

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😂 This one kills me every time.

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Found Dear My Room/Eunjoo's Room through Dramabeans and I love it 😀

This site is always a great reference for my drama-taste.

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K-drama lesson. You can turn the most run-down rooftop hovel into a charming little cottage by painting the walls and doing a some light dusting. And throw pillows.

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and that made me dreaming about creating my lil cozy tiny home on a rooftop of a big building i started looking at building around thiking which one is better option for my own kdrama style rooftop.. lol sadly i can only dream as in real its impossible 🙃 and dreaming doesnt cost but makes me happy

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And here I have a full fledged 2 room flat which no painting and throw cushion have been able to improve. :D

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I learned that no matter what you will always run into your first love and get back together even if you don't recognize each other at first. Luckily first love comes true in the dramas even though that isn't always the case in real world.

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Thankyou @dramaddictally for reminding us that every one of these lessons is repeated in 90% of K dramas regardless of the genre for those in the back who may have missed it🤣

‘Nary a therapist exists in dramaland, so if you want to get over all that childhood trauma you’ve been carrying around since you lost your first love at the age of five, you’d better get ready to do it yourself.’ 👈🏾I know that I would have to be a Candy in K dramaland as I would never make a living in my day job as a psychotherapist so I think I would have to rebrand as a Shaman or hairdresser and then people would come to see me regularly and not feel shame. I love that you killed two birds with one stone by including the childhood connection that leads to marriage😆😆😆😆

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Your comment is so true, funny and sad at the same time, I’m not sure what I’m feeling anymore!😅

It made me reflect upon all the other jobs that have existed throughout time that helped people process their mental and emotional difficulties. Religious leaders, family doctors, trusted mentors, teachers, and members of close-knit families and communities probably all did this important work. What strikes me most is that there wasn’t really anyone that you could go to who was completely separate from your community, so there would have been a very high level of trust needed. Because anonymity wasn’t an option, do you think people probably kept things inside more? Anyhow, all this makes me realise how grateful I am to live in a time and place that allows me to access psychological care.💗 Thank you for the work that you do!

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Please explain I don't really understand what she said 😭

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my fav kdrama lesson is
1. learn to do your own work be it cooking, washing dishes, cleaning house, buying grocery and all things that makes you self dependent.
cause life can throw curveball any times so doing thing on your own keeps you up and running to face anything

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My favourite drama lesson: You should always recognize people and find the glimmer of their past in them, sometimes the same magic and romance too. No matter how many years have passed, how much the person has changed, how much circumstances have been difficult-- recognition still works.

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you just can’t win by following the rules

What Do Han told Kim Eun Joong...

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It's so funny. I wasn't up to that point in Lookout until after I wrote this! 😅

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My K-drama lesson. Call everyone around you by their title and NEVER their name. Everyone in this world is either a sunbae or a hoobae, an ajumma or an ajusshi, a noona or an oppa. And mothers are always called '(child's name)'s mom' instead of their actual name.

Recently IU was interviewing an older actor. When he mentioned that his debut was in 2009 she practically yell at him "Wait, you're NOT my sunbae!" IU (debut 2008) seemed genuinely offended that they had accidentally mixed up the hierarchic status while working together.

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Hierarchy and seniority by age or debut or year of graduation is something I am not fond of because often they use it not as a form of respect but to lookdown on younger people.

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I did find it interesting in Our Blooming Youth. The young Cho who topped Won-bo and his lackeys on the basis of hierarchy brought joy to my heart.

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I agree that one was hilarious but that is not always the case

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My kdrama lesson: pyjamas seem to be in short supply, so you usually sleep fully dressed (street clothes) in bed.

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They even go to sleep wearing jeans 😳

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This week, Deborah/Bora came home exhausted and cold, looked at her bed longingly and I was shocked when she actually removed her suede jacket before getting under the covers!

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Hello! I sleep fully dressed most times :) . I just changed that habit of recent.

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And since you never know who might see you while you’re sleeping or just waking up, keep all your makeup on, too.

Another rule for a good night’s sleep: don’t turn off the lights!

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kdramas are still conservative as just makeup they are bound to keep before going to bed.. Hindi MIL DIL shows have ladies all decked up in their heavy jewelry (like a xmas tree) alongwith makeup and big bun on head while going to bed...
any indian beanies can attest to that...

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I enjoy DIY projects, though some of the DIY lessons from kdramas is pretty sad. Like mental health should be more talked about and it should be easier to find professional therapists. Or the system is terribly broken if the only way to address psychopathic/murdery bullies/corrupt officials is for the victims to come up with their own justice.

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