I have been reading comments for hi bye mama on various platforms, I am a bit shy so I never responded to them but I feel like talking about it so here.
When the show began we didn’t see much of Min Jung but from the little we saw of her people already started commenting she feels more like a nanny. At the point we hadn’t really seen kang hwa do any non nanny like parenting either but nobody used the word nanny or anything similar for him.
As the show showed us Min jung’s shortcomings because of her introvert nature again many people started saying she is not a good mother, is not a “mommy”mother, she is not the only one raising the seo woo though. Every parent has shortcomings especially when it comes to the first child. Yuri would have some faults too had she been there instead. Regardless of her learning capabilities seo woo is a great kid and Min Jung wants to do her best for seo woo that alone makes her good parent.
I feel so many people are so quick to strip her of the title of being a mom to Seo Woo and I can’t help but feel it is because we have the knowledge of her being a step mom, because of the word step we need more evidence of her capabilities to deem her worthy of the title mom.
I come from an Asian family, not many parents would want their daughter to marry a widower with a kid, people will always compare, they will be more critical of her parenting capabilities for the child and later on if she has a kid people will try to find evidence of different treatment. It is not easy for the second wife at all in such a situation. While it is obvious that we viewers will analyse everything but I guess I just hope our first instinct isn’t to assume that step mom is possibly not a good one.
Now that I have written this I feel like I am overthinking lol.
No, you’re not overthinking. I share your sentiments. Right from the beginning, I thought the whole ‘return to your original place’ was never going to end that way because Yuri had no place to return to – in terms of being with Kang Hwa. The term ‘original’ insinuates that Minjung is a replacement which she isn’t. And the last episode said everything I’d been feeling – Minjung is as much Seo Woo’s mum as Yuri. She raised her and Yuri knows she can’t take that away from them.
And while I try to understand where Yuri’s family is coming from – I feel like their trying to be ‘considerate’ makes it a secret that shouldn’t even be a secret and continuously creates a gap that insinuate that Min-Jung is not her mother. But I get it’s a societal and cultural thing.
Coming from a large extended & mix-bag family that gets along well (mostly) it really annoys me that YuRi’s family thinks they have to be out of the picture for KangHwa to be happy with his ‘new’ wife. I get it’s prolly the culture but why can’t they break the norm? Look at how happy Seo Woo was at grandma’s. Even Min Jeong was more relaxed and happy when she stopped being ‘considerate’ and did things her way instead of being conscious of the fact that she’s a second wife & stepmom. All these people genuinely care for each other but yet they’re letting societal norms ruin their happiness.
Thank you for writing this.
The writer nailed this problem by having our 3 wonderful women discussing about how people always assumed the worst of a stepmother, and how most of the stories we read framed them in this way, which of course will feed our mind with the worst prejudices about them. Your post is a good food for thought.
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booming system up up
March 30, 2020 at 5:17 AM
I have been reading comments for hi bye mama on various platforms, I am a bit shy so I never responded to them but I feel like talking about it so here.
When the show began we didn’t see much of Min Jung but from the little we saw of her people already started commenting she feels more like a nanny. At the point we hadn’t really seen kang hwa do any non nanny like parenting either but nobody used the word nanny or anything similar for him.
As the show showed us Min jung’s shortcomings because of her introvert nature again many people started saying she is not a good mother, is not a “mommy”mother, she is not the only one raising the seo woo though. Every parent has shortcomings especially when it comes to the first child. Yuri would have some faults too had she been there instead. Regardless of her learning capabilities seo woo is a great kid and Min Jung wants to do her best for seo woo that alone makes her good parent.
I feel so many people are so quick to strip her of the title of being a mom to Seo Woo and I can’t help but feel it is because we have the knowledge of her being a step mom, because of the word step we need more evidence of her capabilities to deem her worthy of the title mom.
I come from an Asian family, not many parents would want their daughter to marry a widower with a kid, people will always compare, they will be more critical of her parenting capabilities for the child and later on if she has a kid people will try to find evidence of different treatment. It is not easy for the second wife at all in such a situation. While it is obvious that we viewers will analyse everything but I guess I just hope our first instinct isn’t to assume that step mom is possibly not a good one.
Now that I have written this I feel like I am overthinking lol.
IamPilgrim
March 30, 2020 at 5:45 AM
No, you’re not overthinking. I share your sentiments. Right from the beginning, I thought the whole ‘return to your original place’ was never going to end that way because Yuri had no place to return to – in terms of being with Kang Hwa. The term ‘original’ insinuates that Minjung is a replacement which she isn’t. And the last episode said everything I’d been feeling – Minjung is as much Seo Woo’s mum as Yuri. She raised her and Yuri knows she can’t take that away from them.
And while I try to understand where Yuri’s family is coming from – I feel like their trying to be ‘considerate’ makes it a secret that shouldn’t even be a secret and continuously creates a gap that insinuate that Min-Jung is not her mother. But I get it’s a societal and cultural thing.
parkchuna ❤️🍉
March 30, 2020 at 6:57 AM
Coming from a large extended & mix-bag family that gets along well (mostly) it really annoys me that YuRi’s family thinks they have to be out of the picture for KangHwa to be happy with his ‘new’ wife. I get it’s prolly the culture but why can’t they break the norm? Look at how happy Seo Woo was at grandma’s. Even Min Jeong was more relaxed and happy when she stopped being ‘considerate’ and did things her way instead of being conscious of the fact that she’s a second wife & stepmom. All these people genuinely care for each other but yet they’re letting societal norms ruin their happiness.
gadis
March 30, 2020 at 5:39 PM
Thank you for writing this.
The writer nailed this problem by having our 3 wonderful women discussing about how people always assumed the worst of a stepmother, and how most of the stories we read framed them in this way, which of course will feed our mind with the worst prejudices about them. Your post is a good food for thought.